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Akechi squeezed the white cushions below him until his knuckles matched them in color. He felt his pathetic heart race in what he would only acknowledge as fury as he sat across from the madman who had distorted all of reality. He held an easy smile as if he weren't conducting the most massive invasion to Akechi's privacy possible.
"Good evening Akechi-kun." Maruki's voice was gentle, as if Akechi would run if he spoke too harshly. As if he even could go anywhere. The bastard had trapped him in his own mind for a chat, it wasn't as if he could simply walk away. "I wanted to discuss a few things with you."
"Fuck off." Akechi hissed. He glared at Maruki with all the menace of someone who was in worn Featherman pajamas. He couldn't even have the dignity of wearing his school uniform or anything other than his ridiculous pajamas that he should have gotten rid of years ago. "We have nothing to talk about."
"I'm sorry, but we do." Maruki frowned as Akechi continued to glare at him. Maybe if he did it long enough and hard enough, he would just combust and their problems would be solved. "I'd like to address your wish," Akechi opened his mouth for a retort but found himself unable to form words. It suddenly felt as if his mind was stuffed with cotton. Any arguments he even attempted to form were instantly dropped from his mind. "You and Kurusu-kun never got to properly experience what my reality has to offer, unlike your friends."
Akechi would have said something if he could. Instead, he listened and squeezed the cushions below him tighter. Despite the pressure he was putting on them, they remained perfectly intact. Akechi desperately wanted to change that. He wanted to ruin the perfection of the room he was in, even if it was just in this one small way. He wanted to stain the pure white walls with Maruki's blood, tear apart each piece of furniture until-
"Akechi-kun, are you listening?" Akechi found his attention forced back to Maruki. He tried to look away but his body wouldn't respond to him. "This is important."
Akechi mutely nodded. He couldn't stop himself from doing so. He felt like a marionette, his strings being manipulated by the bastard in front of him. It was absolutely disgusting.
"Good. First, I'd like to apologise for neglecting you when I first altered things. I shouldn't have ignored your situation."
Akechi tried so hard to move his arms but they wouldn't budge. It felt as if he were encased in stone. His heart couldn't even race with the nervousness that he knew he was feeling. Instead, it stayed at a steady beat. His breathing came out calm and even as well. If his mind weren't on the brink of panic, he might have thought he was actually relaxed.
"Now with all that being said, you were the only one out of your friends that never came to me prior to..." Maruki paused for a moment as he tried to find the right words. "I believe they called it the 'Day of Reckoning'? So I don't know what you want me to give you."
Akechi felt his jaw unlock. He opened his mouth for a moment as a test before he quickly closed it. If the rest of his body were responding, he would have probably already been lunging at Maruki's throat.
"Akechi-kun?"
"You're already in my head." He suddenly began. The disgust that ran through him as he spat the words was overwhelming. "I assume it wouldn't be too difficult to just look for yourself."
"Ah, yes," Maruki gave a sheepish smile. "You're right about that, looking into your desires would be easy but... That's not really the point of this. I want to hear from you."
Akechi thought for a moment. He wanted to hear from him like he had with the Phantom Thieves. Something about the idea made him uncomfortable for reasons other than the obvious. The deep sense of dread that accompanied Maruki's smile suddenly made sense when Akechi realized what was happening. "Do you really intend to give me a fucking therapy session."
Maruki nervously laughed, confirming Akechi's suspicions. "I suppose you could say that."
If Akechi could cross his arms, he would have. "I thought you needed to trust the other person in order to get anywhere."
"I can make that happen!" Maruki smiled as if he didn't understand how horrifying his suggestion was. Actually, considering what he did to Yoshizawa...
"Don't you fucking dare."
Maruki let out an awkward laugh. "I thought you wouldn't like that."
Akechi silently glared at Maruki as he felt his body slowly relax. He experimentally opened and closed his fist before he crossed his arms. "I have nothing to say to you."
Maruki just smiled patiently. "I can wait. We have all the time in the world." He paused for a moment. "Well, maybe not all the time but we certainly do have at least a few hours before you need to wake up!"
Akechi sat, glaring for what seemed like an eternity. He couldn't tell when there were no hints towards the passage of time. He just sat there with nothing to do but show his displeasure towards the madman in front of him. He considered attacking him but ultimately decided that it wouldn't do anything but waste energy and lock his body again. As much as he hated to admit it, the idea of that happening again terrified him, even if none of this was actually real. Maybe that made it more terrifying, the power that Maruki had over him, even in his own mind. The fact that he could so effortlessly invade what should have been private.
In the distance, Akechi could hear an alarm ringing. He saw Maruki frown and sigh as the world around began to warp and fade away into a white void. "Until tomorrow then."
Akechi opened his mouth say something but never got the chance to before-
Akechi woke up with the vague feeling that he'd had a dream of some sort. It seemed... important. He had the urge to tell someone about it but he couldn't seem to grasp what he needed to say when what little details he had slipped through his fingers like water.
By the time Akechi met with the newly reformed Phantom Thieves, his mystery dream was long forgotten. He put his sole focus on the mission ahead. The mission which they were taking a break from for the day. Akechi had no choice but to go along with Akira's leadership. He was ready to go into Mementos on his own for some training when Akira stopped him.
"Hey, how are you holding up?" His voice was gentle in a way that reminded him of- His mind forcefully cut off the thought. He stared at Akira for a moment before he spoke again. "Akechi?"
"I'm fine." His answer was short and hostile. Akira looked unimpressed.
"Are you sure? Because you seem out of it." He crossed his arms. "If something's wrong-"
"I'm fine, Akira. I'm not going to hold any or you back so you can stop worrying."
"That's not the issue-"
"Save your concern for someone who needs it."
Akira reluctantly nodded. "Alright." He smiled but it wasn't as bright as it usually was. "I'll see you tomorrow then, okay?"
Akechi nodded. He turned to leave but hesitated at the door. Akira seemed upset, upset because of him. Normally, he wouldn't care. He wouldn't even think twice about it but today it felt... different. He couldn't explain it but he felt almost... bad for making him upset.
"Akechi?" Akira's voice was more confused than concerned.
Akechi turned towards Akira. He felt his heart skip a beat as he gave him a curious look. "Would you..." Akechi swallowed a lump in his throat as he tried to collect his thoughts. What was he doing? "Would you like to go to Jazz Jin tonight?"
Akira smiled as bright as usual. "Yeah, that sounds like fun."
Akechi scoffed. "Don't get the wrong idea, this is for persona strengthening only."
Akira chuckled. "Yeah... of course."
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Akechi woke up in a bright white room as the memories of the previous night flooded in. A sudden anger overtook him as he spotted Maruki. "I thought I told you, I have nothing to say to you."
"You just said something though." Maruki smiled at his own joke until he caught Akechi's glare. He cleared his throat and gave a more serious look. "Listen, I understand that you don't want to talk to me but I'm serious about making your ideal reality."
"I don't want any part in your bullshit."
"Are you really saying that you wouldn't change any part of reality if given the chance?"
Akechi continued to glare at Maruki as a single thought ran through his mind. A curtain of red that ran down Akira's face as he stared blankly ahead. Dull eyes looking at both him and nothing as Akechi grinned back at him.
"No, I wouldn't."
Maruki frowned. "Not even-" He stopped himself.
"My death?" Akechi leaned forward. The words left a bitter taste in his mouth. "Oh, I'm fully aware of what happened in the engine room. I'm sure Kurusu told you all about it."
Maruki paused for a moment, looking shocked. A second of silence passed before he nodded. "He did." He frowned. "You really wouldn't want even that changed?"
"It was a mercy to the world." He answered without missing a beat. He suddenly couldn't stand to be looked at. He allowed his eyes to drift to the floor, away from Maruki's sympathetic looks.
"Kurusu-kun didn't consider it a mercy." Maruki's voice was gentle. Akechi couldn't help but feel like he was being mocked.
"I don't care what Akira thinks, he doesn't matter."
"He seemed to matter tonight." Akechi's gaze immediately shot towards Maruki.
"Were you spying on us?"
"No! Nothing like that!" Maruki waved his hands in an exaggerated gesture. He paused for a moment. "Well, maybe something like that, but it wasn't intentional!" Akechi glared at him as he sighed. "I'm aware of the majority of Tokyo at all times, it's not something I can turn off."
"I'm sure if you gave up on your bullshit reality it would go away."
"Yes but that's out of the question." Maruki smiled once again and Akechi just wanted to hit him. He wanted to forcefully eject the bastard from his mind. He wanted to take his gun and shoot him right between the eyes like he did with- Akechi looked away as the image of Akira once again came to mind. He felt his body tense up as Maruki eyed him like a puzzle to be solved.
"Get the hell out of my head."
"We both know that's out of the question too Akechi-kun, I'm not leaving until I understand what your wish is."
"Maybe my wish is for neither of us to exist."
"I think we both know that's not the case." Maruki leaned forward in what must have been meant as an inviting gesture. "Akechi-kun, I only want you and your friends to be happy."
"The Phantom Thieves not my friends." Akechi sneered. The idea of those idiots accepting him after everything he'd done, it was just as unattainable as the perfection Maruki strove for. Not that he wanted their friendship anyways. When it had been offered on the ship, Akechi had known it was out of pity. They just felt the need to make him feel better about the pathetic display he had shown them. "I don't have friends."
"Kurusu-kun isn't your friend?" Akechi felt his breath catch in his throat. He wanted to deny that Akira was his friend, he wanted nothing more than to see the disappointment on Maruki's face when he disproved whatever fantasy he had concocted about their relationship in his mind but he didn't get the opportunity to do so before Maruki started talking once again. "And I'm sure a majority of the Phantom Thieves would disagree with your assessment of things. Wasn't it Takamaki-san that offered you a place with them?"
"Pity isn't the same thing as friendship. They felt like they had a responsibility to fix me so they-"
"I don't mean to interrupt but I don't think that's really fair to them. From what I understand, it wasn't pity that drove Takamaki-san forward, it was compassion and a sense of understanding." He pushed up his glasses, allowing Akechi to get a better view of his eyes. He felt as though they were probing into the depths of his soul, searching for any scrap of weakness he could sink his claws into. For any stray fragment that he could use and twist for his own purposes until he was just as desperate for the fake reality as Yoshizawa had been. "I assure you, the others care a great deal about you. They would accept you with open arms if you-"
"I'm not going to allow myself to become a puppet just for some fake acceptance." Akechi suddenly stood, unable to contain the raw anger he felt. "How desperate do you think I am!?" He took a step forward but Maruki didn't move. He just watched patiently as Akechi took another step. "I've already told you, I want nothing to do with any of this! Just give up already so I can go back to being dead!"
"Why do you think it would be better for you to be dead Akechi-kun?" Maruki's voice was so calm. Akechi couldn't stand it. He grabbed him by the shirt, taking immense satisfaction in the creases he made in the otherwise perfect fabric, and yanked him up so that they were standing face to face. When he was eye level with Maruki, he didn't look scared. Not even a little nervous. Of course not, despite the fact that it was Akechi's mind, he was practically powerless here.
"I don't think you want to die," Maruki started, still seemingly unbothered about the position he was in. "I think you want to atone but don't know how to do it." Akechi dropped him and took a step back. His words were not getting to him. They weren't. "I think you're lying to yourself because you don't think there's anything you can do to make up for the past." Maruki smiled and stepped forward. "But there is something you can do. Something that could undo your sins instead of simply making up for them."
Akechi glared at Maruki as he found the glint of madness in his eyes. He didn't understand, he wouldn't until they destroyed the disgusting palace he presided over. "You're wrong." He said. "I don't care about making amends."
"Not even with Kurusu-kun?" Akechi wanted to kill the bastard for once again bringing Akira into this. How dare he use him as a weapon. "I can assure you, he'll never forgive you if you allow yourself to die again."
"I'll be too dead to care."
"But you aren't now. Can you live with the guilt of that? Even now, I can see how heavily it's weighing on you."
"It's not- I don't feel guilty about-"
"There's no point in lying about it Akechi-kun." Maruki smiled. "I think I might have an idea about what you want."
"Whatever it is, it's wrong." Akechi turned away. "I don't want anything from this bullshit reality."
"Not even Akira?" Akechi instantly whipped around and grabbed Maruki once again.
"Keep him out of this!" He yelled. Maruki didn't even flinch.
"He wants you two you know." He lied. Because it had to be a lie. Why would Akira want him of all people when he had so many others to choose from. So many better choices. "He just wants you Akechi-kun, are you honestly telling me that you wouldn't choose him if given the choice?"
Akechi looked away. He felt so weak and pitiful and disgusting when he couldn't answer right away. Why couldn't he just lie? What the hell was wrong with him?
In the distance, Akechi could hear his alarm. The room he was in once again began to twist into a blank void. Maruki slipped from his grip as he returned to the waking world.
Akechi woke up with a horrible sense of longing. The thought of himself and Akira lingered uncomfortably in the forefront of his mind, likely from whatever dream he'd just woken up from. It wouldn't have been the first time he dreamed of impossible what-ifs, although, it would be the first time where they could become more if he- He derailed that train of thought. That wasn't a possibility he could entertain. Besides, he couldn't do that to Akira, he couldn't trap him like that. It wouldn't be fair to chain him to a worthless corpse when he was... him.
After getting ready, Akechi made his way to LeBlanc. His heart nearly stopped when he realized he was the first one there. Yoshizawa and the Phantom Thieves had yet to arrive which just left Akira and Akechi. He looked around for any sign of the damn cat at least and felt his heart drop when he couldn't find him.
"Morning." Akira said with a smile. Akechi took a seat at the counter and grabbed a book to distract himself. He frowned when he saw the author, Maurice Leblanc, certainly the last thing he needed to be reading to get his mind off Akira. He tried another only to have his hopes dashed when it was the same author. "Looking for something?"
"Do you only have mysteries here?" Akechi asked, not even hiding the frustration as he grabbed the fifth Leblanc book from the pile. "I swear you had others here last time."
Akira shrugged. "Maybe Sojiro switched them out?" He watched with amusement as Akechi threw the final book to the floor in frustration. Another fucking Leblanc novel. Who the hell has seven Leblanc novels just laying around when they weren't even fluent in the language it was in? Was that supposed to be a fucking gimmick? "Hey, are you-"
"Yes Akira." He snapped. "I'm perfectly fine, you don't need to keep asking."
Akira put up his hands and made a show of stepping back. "My bad." Akechi could see through the act. He could see the worry beneath his mask on nonchalance. "You need a coffee or something? You're pretty crabby this morning."
"I don't care, do what you want." He said. Yes, he did want a coffee. No, he was not going to say that out loud. Some part of his stupid mind hoped that being short with him might make Akira back off. Maybe he would finally realize that Akechi wasn't worth the effort he put in. That he should stop trying before they both got hurt or worse, attached.
Akira, apparently, did not take the hint. When had he ever? He placed Akechi's coffee in front of him after a few minutes with a sly smile. "I hope it lives up to your standards."
Akechi hummed as he took a sip. Immediately, he fought the urge to spit it out as it burned his tongue. He swallowed the burning liquid out of pure pride before he noticed Akira's amused smirk. "It's lovely." He lied. He pushed aside the drink to cool just as both his and Akira's phones went off.
Cancellations. All of them. Somehow, even Sakura couldn't make it across the street for their meeting. Her and Morgana were too busy working on something. It at least answered the question of where he was but it left Akechi with the sinking feeling that Maruki had orchestrated this. Was he planning on delaying them until the deadline passed? If he was, it wouldn't work, Akechi was more than capable of doing a palace on his own and with Akira at his side-
"Looks like we won't be infiltrating today." Akira's voice startled him from his thoughts. He looked at him with wide eyes for a fraction of a second before he regained his composure.
"Do they even know what's at stake right now?" The words came out less bitter than he would have liked. The frustration from before ebbed in but he could swear he almost sounded exasperatingly fond of them.
"They have lives too you know, and we have plenty of time. A couple days to rest should do everyone some good in the long run anyways."
"It's getting too close for comfort."
Akira shrugged. "Not much we can do." Akechi wanted to argue that. He wanted to grab Akira and tell him that there was nothing they couldn't do together. That they were an unstoppable team, a force to be reckoned with. He wanted it so badly, he almost didn't care how cheesy it all sounded. For just a moment, he found himself indulging in a world where it was just Akira and him together. No one else would get in the way of their- He stopped himself, not trusting that the next word wouldn't push him further into the disgusting fantasy.
"So," Akira suddenly began. "Since infiltrating the palace is off the table today, what do you say we-"
"No." Akechi had to reject him for his own sanity. He couldn't delude himself into thinking that Akira cared for him out of anything more than obligation. Even as the genuine look of sadness in his eyes ripped open his heart, he couldn't let Akira in. He couldn't allow himself to infest Akira's heart either. He couldn't allow the disgusting rot that was his heart to spread and infect Akira too.
"You didn't even hear what I was going to say."
"I'm busy today." He lied. He quickly stood up and made for the exit. It was better this way.
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"Didn't you already get what you wanted from me? Why the hell are you here again?"
Maruki simply smiled as he gestured towards a white sofa. It looked eerily like the one in Akira's attic. In fact, the entire room looked like a colorless version of Akira's attic. The only thing missing was Akira himself.
"I just wanted to confirm." He stated with absolute calm. "I noticed you had a... problem with Kurusu-kun today."
"Stop fucking spying on me."
"I already said I can't turn it off Akechi-kun." Maruki said as Akechi reluctantly sat. "But, that's not what we're here to talk about." He grabbed the chair next to the bed and pulled it in front of Akechi. "I think you got some confirmation today Akechi-kun, didn't you?"
"I don't know what you're-"
"With Kurusu-kun." His smile grew wider as he leaned forward. "You saw how upset he was when you rejected him. He won't say it but it hurts him when you turn him down."
"That's not my business and it doesn't fucking change anything." Akechi turned his head to the stairs. He wondered what he would find if he went down them. Would it be nothing, would it be a bleached version of LeBlanc? Maybe some version of Akira would be standing behind the counter, still left moping from what had happened that morning.
"Stop lying to yourself Akechi-kun. We both know that you want to make Akira happy."
He immediately turned to glare at Maruki. "You don't know anything about me." Even if it was true to some extent. He could hardly deny it but being with him wouldn't, no couldn't-
"Deluding yourself into thinking he hates you helps no one. He was destroyed when you died. He refused to let go of the glove you gave him, he still-"
"This is absolutely none of my business." Akechi hissed. "Spilling Akira's secrets won't make me anymore willing to accept your bullshit."
Maruki frowned slightly. "Everything I'm saying is true Akechi-kun. If you would just accept that then you and Akira could be happy together."
"He can't be happy if I'm around!" Akechi immediately regretted his outburst when he saw a gentle smile spread across Maruki's face. He pushed himself back on the sofa to gain what little distance he could before he felt his body lock into place.
"You're wrong Akechi-kun. You're one of the only things that can make him happy." The room around him began to swirl in a dizzying display. Was it already time to leave? Colors began to fill the room as Maruki stepped back. "I'll show you what you're missing."
Akechi barely registered the words as all the air was knocked out of his lungs. His mind grew fuzzy as color bled into the warped white interior. Swirls of browns and greys and every other color present in the room left Akechi feeling dazed.
As everything calmed down, Akechi felt his eyes grow heavy. He allowed them to close for just a moment as rest called to him. Everything faded to black.
Goro woke up in Akira's bed. Soft sunlight spilled in from the window onto the sleeping boy's figure. Goro gave a gentle smile as he admired him. The way the light lit up his features was just perfect.
Goro reached out a hand and gently placed it on Akira's soft cheek. His eyes slowly opened once Goro made contact. A sleepy smile spread across his face as he registered who was next to him.
"Goro," His voice was still low from sleep. Goro closed his eyes and let the sound wash over him. He felt Akira grab him and pull him closer. "Let's go back to bed."
"We should get up." He argued with no real passion. Spending a lazy morning with him sounded absolutely perfect.
Akechi woke up alone in his bed. He remembered his dream with startling clarity. The warmth of being so close, the feeling of Akira's arm around his waist, the look of his face as it was kissed by the early morning sunlight, Akechi couldn't get it out of his mind. He tried, he desperately tried but it refused to leave.
Akechi tried his best to push past his dream as he entered LeBlanc. He felt some sort of relief when he noticed a few stray Phantom Thieves had made it there before him. If he had to be alone with Akira, he wasn't sure what he would have done. He wasn't sure he could have handled that.
The infiltration hit an immediate snag when Akechi got distracted. His all too real dream remained on his mind, it refused to get its damn hooks out of his brain. Even the thrill of battle wasn't enough to take his mind off it. His damn dream even started to keep him from hitting the shadows in front of him as he lunged at them. He was distracted to an unacceptable degree which was what got him sent into the reserves.
Akechi watched Akira fight while he stood towards the back. His movements were almost mesmerizing with how effortless they were. Akechi could lose hours just watching him fight. One slice from the dagger followed by a few shots from the gun. A hand on his mask to summon the best persona for the job, one more slice of the dagger. Akechi couldn't look away.
"Dude, you okay?" Akechi broke from his trance to look at Sakamoto. He seemed worried beneath the mask but not in the same way Akira usually did. His concern was out of obligation while Akira's was out of affection, as misplaced as it may be.
"I'm perfectly fine," He lied. "Don't ask stupid questions."
"Sheesh." Was all he said before he turned his attention away from Akechi.
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Goro sat in LeBlanc, the smell of coffee enveloped him like a blanket. It provided a comfort that made his head pleasantly hazy as he watched Akira move behind the counter. His actions were like a dance in their fluidity and skill, he could watch him all day and there was no doubt Akira would let him.
"Coffee?" Akira asked. Goro gave a short nod and a quick smile in response. He watched Akira work, a master of his craft so delicately learned from his mentor.
Akira placed the drink in front of him. He flashed a heart stopping smile before he crossed to the other side of the counter. Within seconds, he was next to Goro. He could feel the warmth the younger boy radiated. He saw his kind smiles and happy eyes. He saw everything about him that he just adored.
Goro grabbed his coffee and took a sip. It was made to absolute perfection. It wasn't too sweet but it also wasn't bitter. It was a delicate balance of preserving what he liked about it and discarding what he didn't.
"How is it?" Akira leaned forward, his eyes shining with a challenge.
"Why don't you try it for yourself?" Before Akira could get a confused comment out, Goro leaned in for a kiss. It didn't take long for Akira to realize what was happening and reciprocate. When they pulled apart, Akira smirked.
"I think I need another taste."
Akechi woke up with the taste of coffee on his lips. He grabbed his pillow and held it tight, wishing he could tear it open with his bear hands and rip its insides out. More dreams about Akira was the last thing he needed. He couldn't be indulging in such petty enjoyment when there was still work to be done. If this was going to continue he might have to stop sleeping.
Akechi made his way to LeBlanc, the dream from that night still fresh in his mind. He walked into the cafe and felt his heart stop at the familiar sight. Akira stood behind the counter, he normally stood there while he waited, it was nothing to get worked up about.
Akechi took a seat, belatedly noticing that no one else was there. It was too close for comfort, he had to leave. He needed to escape and-
"Coffee?" Akechi mutely nodded against his better judgement. He felt sick, like his stomach might implode on him. He couldn't indulge in this fantasy, that would only make it harder for both of them to let go in the long run. All he was doing was strengthening the chain that bound himself.
The soft clink of glass on wood brought Akechi out of his thoughts. He looked at Akira with wide eyes before he forced his gaze to his reflection in the drink. It warped and twisted as the coffee moved in the cup. He hesitantly took his first sip. Just as in the dream, it was perfect, it brought him back to it. He felt like he could slot effortlessly slot back into his role.
Akechi nearly jumped when Akira took his place beside him. He was doing this on purpose, he had to- "How is it?"
'Why don't you try it for yourself?' sat on the edge of his tongue. "It's fine." He forced himself to say. He ignored the disappointed look thrown his way and turned back to the drink. "Where are the others?"
"Running late, didn't you check the group chat?" Akechi felt like an idiot as he pulled out his phone. Another attempt by Maruki to sabotage them no doubt. The Phantom Thieves would run late while Akira and Akechi were incapacitated by the atmosphere he weaved over the cafe.
"Are you okay?" Akira leaned forward, his hand slightly brushed against Akechi's glove. Akechi didn't know what he would have done had it been genuine skin to skin contact. God did he want that.
"I'm fine, you shouldn't worry about me." Akechi frowned into his coffee.
"You seem-" Akira's words were cut off when Sakamoto entered the cafe. Akechi had never been more thankful to see him.
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Akira stood in Goro's apartment cooking something. He didn't know what it was but it smelled delicious.
"I thought you only made curry." Goro teased as he leaned forward. Akira glanced back for just a moment, a large smile half visible on his face.
"I'm full of surprises."
Goro hummed and allowed himself to be consumed by the sounds around him. He closed his eyes and heard a soft melodic humming after a few seconds. Goro couldn't help the smile that formed on his face. Everything felt so calm, he felt like he could just stay in the moment forever.
"Goro?" The sounds stopped. Goro opened his eyes and realized that he was in his bed. Akira stood over him, gently shaking him. He gave Akira a sleepy smile as he grabbed at his wrist.
"Lay with me." Goro tugged at his wrist slightly. "Come on Akira."
"It's almost noon." There was no real protest in Akira's fond voice. Goro rolled over, dragging Akira onto the bed with him. He gave a small yelp which turned into a laugh as he fell on the bed. "Goro!"
Goro wrapped his arms around Akira and closed his eyes. The warmth that radiated from him was so soothing...
Akechi woke up alone and cold. He found himself hugging a pillow, a pale imitation of what it could have been. He closed his eyes and tried to bring himself back to that dream until he realized what he was doing. His eyes flew open and he threw the pillow off the bed. He couldn't allow weakness like this.
A very reluctant Akechi made his way to LeBlanc. He bundled up more than usual to avoid any... incidents like yesterday. It had been a close call with Kurusu, one that he didn't want to repeat.
"Is it that cold out?" Akira asked as soon as Akechi stepped into the building. He watched and waited for Akechi to remove some of his layers but it never happened. He would suffer through the warmth of LeBlanc if it meant there was no chance for his skin to graze Akira's. "The other's aren't here yet..."
"I'm starting to question their dedication to this." Akechi gave Akira an unimpressed look. "How is Morgana constantly late as well?"
Akira shrugged. "He's been staying with the others recently. He said something about wanting to get out of the house." Akira looked off to the side, a frown on his face. "I feel kinda bad for him. He doesn't usually get to go anywhere unless I'm with him..."
"He's a cat. He's lucky he gets to go the places he does." Akechi took a seat at the counter. He glanced at the pile of Leblanc books that seemed to only be there to mock him before he turned back to Akira. "You're not having second thoughts, are you?"
"No I'm just..." He trailed off with a sigh. "Do you ever think about what the other reality would be like?"
"It haunts my nightmares, I assure you." It wasn't technically a lie but they weren't exactly nightmares. "Why do you bring this up?"
"I've been having... dreams lately." Akira looked away. Akechi caught a flush of red on his cheeks. "And they're kinda hard to just forget about."
Akechi paused for a moment. "I have too." He admitted slowly.
"What are they about?" He leaned in closer. Too close. Akechi couldn't stand it. He leaned back in his seat, feeling the hind legs of the stool balance precariously as he wobbled slightly.
"Now's not really the-"
"Please." Akira placed his hands down, causing Akechi to immediately recoil. As his hands left the counter, he fell back in what felt like slow motion. Akira quickly grabbed one of his hands and pulled him forward just enough so that he was left standing when the stool hit the floor. "Are you okay?"
Akechi looked down at their hands for a moment before he harshly yanked his away. "I have to go." He muttered as he left the cafe. On the way out he pushed past the other Phantom Thieves who were only now making their appearance.
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Akechi laid awake at night, avoiding sleep at any cost. He refused to have another one of those hellish dreams. He couldn't wake up alone again after all that. To distract himself, he pulled out his school work. It had no use to him here but it was something to keep his mind off things.
As he looked at the papers in front of him, the words seemed to twist and bend until they were unrecognizable. Akechi squinted at them in some attempt to rein them in but it only served to make him tired. He blinked at the useless work in front of him. What was he doing?
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He needed rest but he couldn't handle the constant dreams. He couldn't keep being reminded of the things he couldn't have. The things he didn't deserve. It was too tempting, just as sleeping now was too tempting.
He opened his eyes but found he couldn't do so all the way. At some point he'd rested his head on his desk, it was surprisingly comfortable. He hardly had the energy to move from his spot. Slowly, his eyes began to close again.
Goro watched as Akira exited the changing room in his swim shorts. He couldn't tell if it was the summer sun or the sight of his boyfriend half naked that made his face red but he wasn't sure he cared. Akira was in a similar state, an adorable dusting of red on his cheeks gave away what could have been embarrassment.
The beach was sparsely populated. A few strangers littered the pristine sand and their friends relaxed but they were easy to ignore. It was so easy to pretend they were the only ones in the world.
Goro approached Akira and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before Akira grabbed his hands. He allowed himself to be led to the water, noting the feeling of warm sand as he ran. It all felt so amazing.
When they got to the water, Akira hesitated. "Do you know how to swim?" He asked in a gentle tone. Goro scoffed at the question despite what his answer was. Akira grinned, seeing right through him. "I can teach you if you want."
"I suppose it wouldn't be a waste to learn." Akira's grin grew even wider as he led Goro into the water. It was cool yet not overly cold making it easy to get quickly acclimated to.
As Akira led Goro deeper into the water, he never let go of his hand. He acted as a tether in the serene waters. If Goro needed anything, he would be there. He would always be there.
Goro closed his eyes and allowed the sensations to bleed into each other. The only thing that remained distinct was Akira's hand holding his. In the distance he could hear splashing in the water. He felt the warm sun on his face as he looked up. Grass tickled his legs as he opened his eyes. The vibrant greens of Inokashira surrounded him and Akira as they laid calmly in a field of grass.
An open picnic basket sat above them. Scraps of sandwiches and leftovers were already neatly packed away to be disposed of or saved when they got home.
Goro turned to Akira. His eyes were closed, potentially because he was sleeping. The gentle breeze blew his dark curls out of his face. He looked so peaceful. Goro moved over to him without letting go of his hand. He ran a hand through his soft hair as Akira slowly opened his eyes. He looked up at him with such a loving gaze-
Akechi felt a distinct pain in his back and neck as he stood up from his desk. He still felt tired but it was too late to go back to bed. Not that he wanted to anyways. The image of himself and Akira lodged itself in his mind. Was his hair really that soft? Akechi shook the thought out of his mind as he got ready for another day.
The walk to LeBlanc was painful, both physically and mentally. Akechi paused outside the door. No one else was in there yet. Of course. He stepped back and waited, the chill of January seeping through his coat as he did. Actually, it was far colder today than it had been during previous days. Akechi felt himself begin to shiver after only a minute or two of waiting. His ears hurt from just how cold it was even though yesterday the weather had been so mild.
After spending far too long outside, Akechi entered the cafe. The immediate warmth felt like a hit to his heart. He just wanted to collapse and stay there forever. He knew he couldn't but that didn't stop his traitorous heart from wishing so vehemently for it.
"Morning." Akira greeted. He also didn't seem to be at his best.
"Trouble sleeping?" Akechi asked as he took his seat. The stool was much more comfortable than the chair he'd woken up in that morning.
"Yeah, I couldn't get to bed until really late last night for some reason." He walked over to the siphon and began a cup of coffee. "Want one?"
"Sure." Akechi placed his head in his hands as he leaned forward on the counter. Something felt... off. He couldn't quite place it as he looked at Akira but there was something strange going on that he couldn't ignore. Maybe it had something to do with the dreams.
"You know," Akira's words startled Akechi out of his thoughts. "You seem kinda out of it lately." He said as he placed a coffee in front of him. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Akechi glared down at his reflection in the coffee. He wasn't fine at all. How could he be fine when he was constantly having dreams of 'what if' with his rival? A pretend future where the boy he tried to murder was constantly being dangled right in front of his face. It was so tempting to just reach out and-
"Are you sure?" Akira looked worried. He had the audacity to worry about Akechi of all people. As if he cared.
"I assure you, if I had a problem you would know." Akira gave him a skeptical look before he sighed. He opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted when the others came in.
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Akechi sat in his kitchen with a cup of coffee and far too many energy drinks. He had pulled all nighters before, it couldn't be that difficult. He just couldn't go back. Not again.
A laptop sat open on the table in front of him. On the screen, the newest season of Featherman played. What better time to catch up than right before his impending re-death? It's not like he would get another chance after everything was over and he desperately needed a distraction. Something better than homework to keep him awake.
As soon as Akechi felt his eyes begin to droop, he took a sip of the instant coffee he had on standby. It was disgusting and grainy and so unlike LeBlanc... His mind began to wander with thoughts of Akira. His smile, his laugh, the look in his eyes when he issued a silent challenge... It filled him with a fuzzy feeling. The air arround him suddenly felt so warm and soothing, he felt like he could just rest for a moment...
Akechi suddenly lifted his head and drank more coffee. He didn't stop until the cup was empty. He'd pulled plenty of all nighters, he'd even done so in this reality when he was researching Maruki and the changes he made so why was it so difficult now?
Akechi focused on the show in front of him. He indulged in his childish interests until he felt tired once again. That was when he opened his first energy drink. Normally he didn't partake in them because they left him jittery and uncomfortable but that would be fine as long as he was awake. He downed a can in two swigs, almost immediately feeling his heart begin to pound as he did so. He briefly wondered if he might have a heart attack before pushing the possibility out of his mind. He already experienced one death, what was another one?
Akechi continued to drink energy drinks for the next few hours. By the time it was morning, he was exhausted but that was fine. He'd managed to watch an entire episode before everything had mixed into an incomprehensible blur.
The train ride to LeBlanc was unexpectedly soothing. The soft murmur of the crowd along with the faint rocking of the car left him more tired than before. Akechi caught himself nearly drifting off a few times only to just barely wake himself up. It was a miracle got to his stop.
Akechi realized he made a mistake when he entered LeBlanc. The warmth and atmosphere was so nice, he could already feel his eyelids get heavier. It shouldn't have been so difficult.
"Hey." Akira looked just as bad as Akechi felt. He seemed as if also hadn't gotten any sleep the night before. Akechi ignored him as he took a seat at the counter. "Tired?"
Akechi opened his mouth to reject the idea but a yawn came out rather than words. He covered his mouth and quickly looked away, feeling heat creep up his neck. Behind him, he could hear Akira's soft chuckle.
Akira crossed the counter and took a seat next to him. "I didn't get any sleep last night. I just couldn't for some reason."
Akechi hummed in acknowledgement. "I didn't sleep either." He refused.
"Do you want to take a nap or something before the others get here?" Akira leaned forward which forced Akechi back.
"Absolutely not." He glared at Akira but it didn't really have much affect when he could hardly keep his eyes open.
A sudden buzz from his and Akira's phone made his stomach drop. He grabbed his phone to read whatever had come in from the group chat but the words kept twisting until they were unrecognizable.
"Again?" Akira sighed. He placed his phone on the counter and laid his head in his hands.
"Cancelling?" Akechi looked at Akira who gave as much of a nod as he could from his position. "I should-" A sudden wave of drowsiness prevented Akechi from standing. He looked at Akira who was already fast asleep and found himself unable to keep his head up or his eyes open.
Goro felt a pair of arms wrap around him from behind. He turned around and gave Akira a quick kiss on the cheek as he turned back to what he was doing. He tightened his grip on his silicone spatula as he began to fold over the batter in the bowl in front of him.
"What're you making?" Akira asked, his breath tickled Goro's ear as he spoke. Goro dropped the spatula in the bowl and turned to Akira. The faint scent of coffee clung to him. Goro allowed himself to get lost in it.
"Brownies." He smiled and wrapped his arms around Akira's neck. He pulled him in for a kiss which was instantly reciprocated. When he pulled away, he caught Akira's smile.
"I didn't know you could bake."
"How hard can it be?"
Akira laughed nervously. "Really?" He let go of Goro and took a step back. Akira approached the bowl and inspected it before nodding. "I believe in you."
Goro smiled. "Good, they'll be the best thing you've ever tasted."
"I'm sure they will."
Once they were in the oven, Goro turned to Akira. He began to pepper his face with small kisses while he held him close. "I love you Akira." He smirked as Akira's face turned bright red from the words. Akira opened his mouth to respond but nothing came out. Goro took the opportunity to kiss him again while he floundered with his words.
It wasn't long before their moment was interrupted by the oven's timer going off. Goro paused for a second, looking between Akira and the oven before he left him to pull the brownies out. Akira walked behind him to inspect the product, giving a little hum of approval as he did.
"They look perfect." He commented as he pressed a kiss to Goro's cheek. He wrapped his arms around Goro's chest and pulled him close as he took his turn kissing him all over. Slowly, he moved down from his face. Featherlight kisses tickled Goro's neck. "I love you." Goro could feel his breath on his neck. He smiled as he felt his own face heat up.
When they were done with their kisses, they enjoyed perfect brownies.
Goro woke up in LeBlanc, Akira across from him. He smiled as he ran a gloved hand through his hair. When Akira stirred, he looked up at Goro with a confused expression. "Akechi?"
Akechi? That wasn't-
Goro, no, Akechi practically jumped to his feet. He retracted his hand as if he'd been burned. "I-" He turned to the door. He couldn't deal with this. He couldn't-
"Akechi, wait." Akira's warm hand was wrapped tightly around his wrist. Akechi tried to pull away but Akira was surprisingly strong. Or maybe Akechi just wasn't trying hard enough.
"Let go of me Kurusu." He tried to make his voice low and threatening but Akira didn't budge. He continued to pull his arm but it did absolutely nothing.
"No, not until we talk about-"
"About what!? There's nothing to talk about!" Akechi took a step forward and glared at Akira. "I don't have anything to say to-"
"You made brownies." Akira's voice was quiet. His eyes were turned towards the ground which meant he didn't see the absolute horror on Akechi's face. "And before we went to the beach, isn't that right?"
"I don't know what you're talking about." Akira looked up at him, his face said he didn't believe a word of it. Akechi gave one last desperate pull but it didn't do anything. He looked away, choosing to glare at the ground instead of Akira. "There's nothing to talk about."
"Yes there is! If we're-"
"It doesn't mean anything Akira." Akira's grip loosened just enough for Akechi to pull his wrist away. "We can't-"
"Why not?"
'I'm dead.' The words lingered on his tongue but refused to leave. He didn't say another word as he left LeBlanc.
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Akechi found himself back in that familiar white room. Across from him sat Maruki. The gentle smile on his face felt like an insult. He wanted nothing more than to destroy it along with the rest of him.
"It's been a while Akechi-kun." Maruki readjusted his glasses allowing Akechi a clear look at his eyes. He looked so pleased with himself, it made him want to throw up. "How did I do?"
Perfect. Agonizingly so. Every scenario was so sickeningly domestic, so happy, that it made Akechi's chest ache with longing. He couldn't admit that though. Saying it out loud would make it impossible to deny the way it left him broken. "Why did you force Akira into it?"
Maruki's smile did not falter for even a second. "I didn't do anything of the sort. Neither of you got your wish properly so I figured... Why not combine them? They were compatible so-"
"So you manipulated him." Akechi glared at Maruki. That had to be it. Akira couldn't have wanted any of that. It was just Akechi's selfish desires pulling him in the direction he wanted with no regard for his true wishes. He wanted his friends, not the person who tried to kill all of them.
"I didn't manipulate anyone. I talked with Kurusu-kun just like I did with you." Maruki frowned. "I thought we addressed that he reciprocates-"
"You're lying." Akechi turned away. He couldn't stand to look at the bastard when everything that came out of his mouth was-
"I'm not. Akechi-kun, the only one lying here is you. You continue to lie to yourself and it's only causing you pain."
"Fuck off!" Akechi stood up and began to walk. There had to be some way to escape. A way to signal to his body that it was time to wake up now.
"Where are you going?" Akechi ignored Maruki's question as he walked through the walls of the room into an endless white void. He didn't look back as he just continued to walk.
After what seemed like an hour of walking, he abruptly found himself sitting down on white cushions. Maruki sat across from him with a small smile. "There's nothing out there you know."
"Go fuck yourself." Akechi stood up again only to be forced back into the seat.
"Akechi-kun, you know that Kurusu-kun holds the same feelings that you do." He said it as a fact rather than a question. Something that Akechi couldn't possibly deny and... he really couldn't. For whatever reason, Akechi did care about him and Akira cared back. "And yet, you refuse to even talk to him about it. You know it's just causing both of you pain so why-"
"How exactly am I supposed to pursue a relationship when I'm fucking dead?!" Maruki's smile grew wider and more manic. The lingering madness beneath his gaze made Akechi's stomach drop.
"You don't have to be. Everything you saw could be real if you-"
"Accept your reality?" Akechi scoffed. "I'm not so desperate that I'd give up my free will for something as trivial as that." It didn't feel trivial. It felt like the most important thing in the world but he couldn't. He couldn't live as someone's puppet again, not even if it meant he could steal Akira away and keep him all to himself. Not even if it meant he never got to see him again.
"But would Kurusu-kun feel the same way?" Akechi felt his heart drop. "When he finds out the truth, and he will find out," Akechi couldn't help but feel a threat beneath his words. "Do you think he'll be as ready to let you go as you are?"
"I trust him to make the right choice."
Maruki leaned forward with a smile. "So do I."
Akechi woke up feeling sick. He was at least relieved he hadn't had any dreams. He wasn't sure he'd be able to handle anymore of those. He shuddered and pushed the thought out of his mind before he checked his phone. A frown crossed his face as he read a message from Akira, cancelling their infiltration for the day.
Akechi refused to stay in his apartment all day. He made his way to Mementos for a mix of training and stress relief. Killing shadows was thrilling, even moreso when he imagined his target as Maruki.
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"Leave me alone." Akechi growled as Maruki sat across from him with his infuriating smile. He was the picture of calm and Akechi couldn't stand it for even a second. He attempted to lunge at the bastard only to find himself forced back into his seat the moment he left it.
"If you could change anything about your reality, what would it be?" Maruki asked. Akechi narrowed his eyes at him.
"We've been over this."
"Are you saying your answer hasn't changed?"
Akechi sighed. "If I could change anything, I'd make it so that your miserable parents were hit by a train before they could ever conceive you."
Maruki's smile didn't falter. "You don't mean that."
"True, I'd like to push you in front of a train as well."
"To do that, you'd have to be alive."
Akechi didn't respond to that. He crossed his arms and silently glared for what felt like an eternity.
"My deadline is approaching."
Nothing.
"I can tell that you're worried about Kurusu-kun."
He refused to give him anymore ammunition.
"He's worried about you too."
Akechi's steady breath became irregular for just a second before he regained his composure.
"When are you going to tell him about your situation?"
"I'm not doing your dirty work for you."
"So you'd rather I tell him then?"
"He doesn't need to know."
"Akechi-kun, he's going to find out, one way or another."
Akechi looked away as he heard his alarm in the distance.
Akechi woke up feeling conflicted. The idea of Akira finding out about his death made him sick. He... couldn't tell him. He closed his eyes and laid back on his pillow.
When he eventually crawled out of bed, Akechi hesitated before leaving the house. He didn't want to face Akira but he also knew he couldn't delay everything more than he already had. They needed to get through his palace before the deadline or else everyone would be screwed, himself included.
At LeBlanc, Akechi avoided eye contact with Akira. It was clear he had something to say but it seemed both of them were too cowardly to address it.
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Akechi stopped having dreams in the week leading up to the deadline. He went to bed and woke up with nothing in between which was a mercy. It didn't make things any less complicated but it also didn't add on the myriad of problems he already had to deal with.
Dealing with Akira was surprisingly easy, he just didn't talk to him..He ignored his text and was always the first to leave so that he couldn't be cornered. It was simple but effective.
Things were fine. They were far from fine. But they were manageable until February came. The deadline was mere days away and Akechi could see Akira's hesitation. He could see the lingering glances, the fucking longing that made Akechi feel sick to his stomach. The hope that once things were over, Akechi would be less distant, that they could eventually talk about them. As if eventually would ever come.
Akechi stood in front of his bed on the night of the first. He hesitated to go to bed. For whatever reason, he had a horrible feeling about it. Eventually though, he did give in. He laid on the pillow, almost immediately feeling exhaustion seep into his mind.
Goro held Akira's hand tight as they walked down the street. He smiled bright as Akira gave him a kiss on the cheek. He didn't know where they were going but it didn't really matter. All that mattered was that they were together.
Akira dragged Goro through central street. He watched with unhidden fondness as Akira stopped and pointed at every shop as if it were his first time seeing it. As if he hadn't lived in Tokyo for over a year already.
"Ann told me about a really nice clothes store in the underground mall." Akira suddenly said once he was finished looking at the shop. He grabbed Goro's hand just a bit tighter, as if he would lose him if he let go for even a second. "Want to check it out? We could probably find some good clothes for you there."
"Excuse you, I like my wardrobe." Goro argued as they neared the crossing. "I think I wear it rather well."
"You look like a dork."
"A stylish dork." Akira laughed at Goro's comment. Goro felt a smile creep onto his face as he continued to walk.
Suddenly, Akira's phone buzzed. He let go of Goro's hand for a second so that he could check his texts. "Hey, do you mind if we go to Akihabara after this? Futaba's calling in a favor."
"Not at all." Goro gave an easy smile as he got on the crossing. He turned back to Akira who was still on the sidewalk, a few steps away. "As long as I'm with you-"
"Goro!" Akira suddenly ran forward.
Goro heard a car horn go off. He heard screeching tires and smelt burning rubber. Everything went in slow motion as he turned to see a car coming straight for him. He froze, seeing his terrified face in the reflection of the windshield. Suddenly, everything hurt as the world faded to black.
Akechi shot awake and grabbed his chest. He heaved for breath as the air seemed intent on suffocating him. Another dream. It was just... Akira. He quickly fumbled for his phone in the dark, unintentionally blinding himself when he turned it on. Once he could see, he hit Akira's contact. The number dialed itself and he waited. He waited and waited until the phone went to voicemail. He was still asleep, he must be.
Akechi laid back down and closed his eyes. He desperately hoped that it was just him in that dream and that it wasn't somehow shared like the others had been. That Akira hadn't had to witness... that.
Akechi didn't make it back to bed for the rest of the night. When he went to LeBlanc that morning to discuss the calling card with everyone, Akira looked pale when he set eyes on Akechi which all but confirmed his suspicions from the night before. Akechi was the last to leave. It was a mistake on his part, he'd gotten careless.
"Akechi." Akira called out. Akechi tried to pretend like he didn't hear him but both of them knew better. "Akechi!"
Akechi stopped in his tracks. He turned to Akira who looked so tired. "Is there something you need Kurusu?"
"Don't give me that." Akira stepped forward and grabbed Akechi's wrist, effectively trapping him in place. "Last night."
"There's nothing to talk about."
"Yes there is!" He tightened his grip. "Can we just... talk?"
"About what Kurusu!? The fact that you saw me die in a dream? What does that have to do with anything?"
"You know that's not what I'm talking about." He looked away for a moment. "I can't keep ignoring this."
"This?"
"Us."
"There is no 'us' Kurusu." Akechi tried to pull his arm away but Akira's grip was somehow iron tight. "I don't want to talk about this."
"Why not? Why are you so desperate to avoid this?"
"What good will come from talking about it? Do you think we can just ride off into the sunset together?! I'm-" Akechi stopped himself. He couldn't. He felt like a fucking coward but he couldn't.
"I know." Akira looked away. Akechi almost felt like he could laugh. Whatever the hell he was thinking of certainly wasn't the most pressing reason they couldn't just start a life together but it must have been a damn good one. "I just..."
"There's nothing to talk about."
"I keep thinking about Maruki." Akechi felt his heart drop.
"No." He glared at Akira with all the heat he could muster. "Don't you fucking dare."
Akira let go of his wrist. "I know. I'm not actually-"
"Promise."
"What?" Akira looked up with wide eyes.
"I want you to promise that you won't. No matter what."
"Akechi..."
"Well, are you going to or not?"
Akira looked away. "I can't."
Akechi stared at him for a moment. He stared like he couldn't comprehend the words that just came out of his mouth. Part of him couldn't. Soon, his bewilderment turned to anger as he stormed out.
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Goro felt someone's arms wrapped tightly around his waist as he laid in bed. He smiled and grabbed Akira's hands. They were so soft and warm and comforting.
"I love you." Akira whispered. His words sounded different than usual. They bordered on desperate as he placed a kiss on Goro's cheek. Goro turned to him and cupped his cheek. He frowned as he felt hot tears run down his face.
"What's wrong?" Akira hesitated before he closed his eyes. He smiled and leaned into Goro's touch. "Akira?"
"Don't worry about it."
Goro smiled as he pulled him close. He brought him in for a long kiss which Akira eagerly reciprocated. When they pulled apart, Goro closed his eyes. He leaned into the comfort of Akira's hold and let himself drift.
"I love you Akira."
