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Sara tapped her fingernails against the wooden texture of the lobby table. Her fingers lifted and went down one after the other in a rhythmic pattern. The faint sound echoing from the long hallways and the dark empty room's walls chilled her to the bone, but it was a far more preferable situation to be in than what she would have otherwise been experiencing if not for the recurrent action.
Submerged in darkness, her heartbeat felt steady and her mind clear, focusing only on the taps and making sure they were not a fraction of a second earlier or later. As much as it was a temporary cure to her wounded heart, it could also become a double edge sword if she mistakenly used her thumb or her taps were too fast, too sporadic. Her mind would then start to wonder, a sudden flash of vivid red and a repeated frantic clicking sound was all the warning she got before her breathing became erratic once again. She closed her eyes, and counted again with each tap.
Tap. One. Tap. Two. Tap. Three. Tap. Four. Repeat.
Sara knew the others noticed the bags under her reddened eyes. Her thoughts flared up everytime a look of pity was thrown her way: no one wants to be burdened with a person struggling to even take care of themselves. She was doing her best, and yet she was probably next-
'I'm getting worked up. Breathe in. Breathe out. Restart.'
They have been on the third floor for two days or two weeks, she can't tell and she can't get distracted, but it's been too long for sure.
She was alone.
'Again, start again,' she forced herself to restart counting in her mind, eyes tearing up and her other fist clenched. 'This isn't the first time. I've done this for days- or weeks. I'll be fine.'
But for how long?
She pushed her arms against the table and stood up, chair softly creaking against the floor board. Her breaths came in pants, and she slumped back onto her chair, arm thrown over her face. She softly tugged at a few hair strands, and began the rhythmic drumming once again.
Tap. One. Tap. Two. Tap. Three. Tap. Four. Repeat. Tap. One. Tap. Two. Tap. Three. Tap. Four. Repeat. Tap. One. Tap. Two. Tap-
A shuddering breath.
Sara stiffened. Someone was there. Surely, she was safe as long as they weren't in the main game, wasn't she? No one would dare attack her. It happened to Sou. Sou had the laptop. She was an important part of the death game. No one had enough proof, not even herself. Was she that desperate to live? She was.
Her muscles tensed as she braced herself for any move from the new presence. She wouldn't be able fight if it was either Q-taro, Alice or - even though she had trusted him - Keiji, but she might be able to take them off guard and have enough time to scream bloody murder. Would anyone even come? Would the floor masters simply watch, grinning from ear to ear as she clicks clicks clicksclicks-
A sob, and a soft thud.
She flinched, confused and afraid. Judging from the sound of the fall, it was someone on the lighter side, probably not Reko or Nao either which left Gin and Kanna. Gin wouldn't have any qualms about coming to her in case of a nightmare, and everyone often rotated looking after him while he slept soundly. Which meant…
Sighing, Sara softly pushed aside her chair and made her way over the origin of the sound, making sure her steps were slow but heard. Things may have been tense between Kanna and her, but she still couldn't help but picture the young girl as her sister. A child, too young to have to deal with the atrocities of the Death Game.
The figure visibly froze. Sara could faintly make out green hair that seemed the wrong shade and lanky limbs that couldn't possibly be the middle schooler's. So who…?
Instantly, the person scrambled to their feet frantically looking around them, and Sara took on a fighting stance.
"Sou," she lashed out.
The man kept quiet. The faint light of the table lamp reflected off his face showing eyes brimming with tears darting around. His arms were spread against the wall, palms wide open.
'He looks like a cornered animal...But it's still Sou, he could easily have planned this ahead just to trick me into letting my guard down. He won't fool me this time.'
"What are you doing?" she tried again. When he didn't answer her, she huffed. "I'm not here to play another one of your mind games."
He stilled for a second staring silently at Sara, then reached for the nearest light switch causing the teenager to gasp and take a step back.
The ceiling light bulbs went on, briefly allowing the two to clearly take in the other's appearance. Sou looked...disheveled; his beanie was missing, his clothes ruffled and his face even paler than usual and flushed all at once. There were noticeable dark circles under his eyes. Were those always there…?
He turned off the lights again and when her eyes finally adjusted to the darkness again, she saw he now sat on the floor, arm over his knee and the other over his eyes. Something about his behavior made Sara slowly lower her arms and straighten her back. She told herself she would be able to take him on anyway, and that Sou wasn't the type to resort to physical attacks.
Still, she didn't move from her spot until a few seconds - or minutes - later when he uncovered his face and looked at her, expression blank.
"Miss Sara?" he started, voice strangely monotone.
She gave a hum of acknowledgement, and waited for him to resume talking. When he didn't, she turned on her heels and sat on a chair, staring from the corner of her eyes at Sou. She raised a hand to her cheek, leaning against it, and continued tapping her other hand's fingers.
It didn't make sense for him to act the way he was acting. Every action he did and every word he said was calculated, a ruse made to fool them all. For what purpose?
A faint laughter snapped her out of her rambling mind. "You look scary, Miss Sara."
She glared at him.
He snickered, and let out a sigh. He got up, stretching his arms above him. "A word of advice, it doesn't look like you've rested much lately."
'They're going after me next. He's set his eyes on me. I can't run. It's useless.'
"You're one to talk," she snapped.
Sou flinched and raised his hand to his eyes, frowning.
'Look at the pot calling the kettle black.'
They glared daggers at each other for a bit before the man pulled at his scarf, muttering what seemed like a 'I don't want to deal with this,' and walked towards the hallway where their rooms were.
Panic bloomed in Sara's chest at the prospect of being alone once more. "Wait!" she yelled out, the chair scratching loudly against the floor.
Sou stopped in his tracks.
"I…" she gulped, cursing herself for briefly showing weakness, then relaxed her facial expression. She closed her eyes. 'Anything, any distraction was welcome.' Suddenly, she remembered a sobbing girl clutching a phone to her chest. "About Kanna..."
He turned to her, disdain spreading through his features. "About Kanna? Isn't that right?" he spat out.
'Ugh,' Sara internally groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose. She breathed in and linked her hands together. "I already told you I wasn't the one who wrote those messages."
"Weren't you?" he said, voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Listen," she said, "what would I gain from Kanna finding that message?"
She immediately regretted her statement as the young man looked at her with a deadpan face.
'She'll likely latch on to whoever can give her emotional support, afterwards. And who other than her big sister Sara herself? It would make her an easy pawn...Right?'
"That girl is barely hanging in there. Surely I don't have to explain that broken people don't tend to survive long."
'Huh?'
"W-wait," she furrowed her eyebrows, "you think I...want Kanna to…"
He grabbed his scarf, lifting it to his mouth.
She stood up, paling, and clutched her arm. "Y-you...You're out of your mind!"
Almost bored eyes stared back at her.
"I would be no better than them! It would be doing the exact thing they want us to do." She would be a murderer.
Aren't you one already?
"She's a- she's a child. Naive and a bit too trusting, but she's-" 'Kind. Gentle. Grieving.' "-a child. And no one...Not a single one of us deserves the fate he-"
The fate you brought upon me?
The red image of her best friend's mangled body flashed in her mind. She couldn't breathe.
Hypocritical of you, ain't it, Sara?
'This isn't the time…!'
She lifted her hand to her throat, clawing desperately trying to get some air only to feel the material of her collar. A reminder that this was real.
Her heartbeat quickened. 'I'm sorry.' Sweat began dripping down her forehead. 'I didn't mean to'. Her body was shaking. 'I want to go home.'
A gentle nudge on her shoulder made her shudder. Her vision was still blurry, but the small physical contact threw her into a coughing fit as she finally regained her ability to breathe. She let go of her throat, curling her hands into fists as she hunched over, trembling.
"...Do I call for the doll?" she heard muttering.
She inhaled deeply, then exhaled. Repeating the process until her breathing was steady. When she came back to her senses, she turned to thank Keiji when her memory cleared. Sou, right.
Sara found herself overwhelmed by embarrassment, anger and fear, but she still managed to grumble a faint 'thanks' and accepted the water bottle he handed her, though she opted not to drink from it at the last second. 'You never know when someone might poison you.'
"Where did you even get that?" She whispered. He silently pointed to the hallway heading towards the Medical Office. 'When did he even have the time to…? It didn't matter.'
The two sat in a deafening silence.
Sara cleared her throat. "Sou."
The man in question turned his head away from her.
She tugged at his sleeve. "Look. I don't care what you think of me." That at least seemed to get his attention. "You don't want to trust anyone. Fine."
She stood up, grabbed the water bottle and pointed it towards him. "I don't trust you either. I have no reason to do so, you're just-" 'I'm losing my temper.' She sighed. "But if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that you're fond of Kanna."
He stilled, and opened his mouth to speak before she waved her hand in front him. " You have your allies, I have mine. But Kanna...I understand that she cares about the both of us."
She shoved the bottle to his chest, looking him straight in the eye. "Don't put her in danger."
His lips quirked upwards, yet he kept glaring at her. "Resorting to threats now, Miss Sara?"
"I'm not arguing with you. Just promise me you won't hurt Kanna."
"A promise? Really?" he asked, "how convenient, I wonder."
"Fine, do it your way." Getting on her feet, she swiftly turned her head, her ponytail whacking Sou in the face.
"Ack!"
Sara left the dumbfounded man standing in the lobby. She stomped her way to her room and laid face down on her bed as she had previously learned it was the only way for her to have a chance at falling asleep. She often stayed at the lounge room for hours until her body finally gave out and she wobbled to the bed, hiding in the comfort of the too soft pillow where she could pretend she was safe.
But even with her eyes closed she could still see a faint smirk, brown and teal strands intertwining falling on sly eyes, taunting her. Damnit, Sou…
Sara didn't rest much that night.
A terrifying gaze that quickly twisted into an empty stare. Hands on his neck, scratching and scratching and-
Sou gasped, eyes flying open and heart throbbing against his ribcage. He froze at the sound of a shuffle near him, only to immediately realize who it was and relax.
"Good morning, Kanna." He lazily waved.
"Good...Good morning Sou!"
Ah, what a weird dream. Sara, huh?
He rubbed at his eyes, and stretched. He jumped at the crack that resounded from it, bringing his hand to his lower back and causing the young girl to giggle.
"Kanna...."
"Kanna is sorry!" she hid her mouth and looked to the side, flustered. Looking downwards, she spoke softly, "you really don't need to give Kanna the bed, she's fine with the chair…"
He shook his head. "It's alright. You know why I'm doing this, don't you?"
She silently nodded.
Sou leapt up on his feet. He felt uneasy; dreams- nightmares always made his hairs stand on end, however this one was different than usual. His dreams didn't usually portray conniving teenage girls as victims for starters, nor did they involve having actual conversations with said teenage girls before they slaughtered him.
He didn't have the time to think too deeply about it and get distracted. He was getting ready to do the remaining attractions when Kanna called him.
"Um, you forgot your beanie," she said, meekly handing it to him.
"Ah. Thanks." He quickly put it on, embarrassed at having lost it. He shouldn't be this careless.
He sighed and turned to signal Kanna it was time to leave when he noticed her fiddling with her sleeves. She's nervous.
"Kanna?"
"S-sorry...Kanna was just wondering…" she hesitated, "Um… She didn't see you when she woke up at night, so Kanna got worried."
Oh. Oh no.
Sara wanted to survive. She wanted to go home, see Ryoko and pretend Joe was still with them. She wanted to worry about her grades and Ryoko and Joe's shenanigans. She wanted to cry, laugh and celebrate with her best friends by her side. She wanted to live, by any means necessary.
She sees a young girl, almost her sister, imploring them to kill her. She sees the man she despised for so long beg her to choose him, to take his life like he took Joe's. A man who might be their only hope at getting out alive.
But she also sees a young man who she only now realises is too frail, scared out of his mind and so desperate to live he could only forget himself and lie again and again. A man who despite it all threw all his plans aside for a single girl.
And there they were, bargaining with children's lives hoping to live to see another day.
She takes it upon herself to decide who will die today. 'Gin is too young to have blood on his hands.'
Before the voting starts, Nao desperately tries to get her to rethink it, to escape with her and go home, an uproar echoing from her revelation. Sara looks Shin in the eyes.
Sara wants to survive, she tries to convince herself, staring at the votes tallying up on Hiyori Sou's picture.