Chapter Text
“Maaan, I’m all the way in Hawaii, and I’m stuck sleeping on the floor.” Ryuji grumbled from his makeshift pallet.
“Heard you the third time.” Akira shot back, not exactly living the high life himself on the couch. It would have been less of a problem if there was enough bedding to go around. But there wasn’t, so he had to pick between sleeping on top of his blanket to avoid waking up glued to the pleather cushions, or using it as a cover because he needed the weight to sleep. He’d considered taking one of the beds’ decorative pillows to hold on his chest where Morgana usually slept, but ultimately decided against it. Best friends or not, Ryuji and Ann would never let him or Mona hear the end of it. And Morgana would, in turn, never let Akira hear the end of never hearing the end of it. Better to just not.
“Where’s Mishima?” Ryuji continued like he hadn’t heard him, or like he was eyeballing Mishima’s bed even though he won fair and square. It was actually kinda surprising how thoroughly the humble phansite admin had kicked all their asses at Tycoon, and Akira would have been deeply impressed if he wasn’t busy un-sticking his arm from the back of the couch for the third time in as many minutes.
“He’s in the bathroom.” Ann said from what had been his bed. The two of them insisted that she play too; Ann because she was getting tired of the clumsy chivalry act from Ryuji and Mishima; Akira because the game was better with more players anyway, plus he wanted a chance at keeping his own damn bed after their two uninvited guests showed up. Moot point, though, because she’d been almost as good as Mishima; even more skilled and ruthless than either of her usual teammates had come to expect, which was really saying something considering how they’d seen her cut loose in a fight. Ann had left the other two phantom thieves halfheartedly slapping down cards for another several rounds after she and Mishima had gone head to head and cleaned out in less than five rounds each.
“Ain’t he been in there a while?” Ryuji asked, craning his head between the unoccupied bed and the bathroom door. Akira opened his mouth to remind him that he lost fair and square, despite the fact that Ryuji actually sounded more concerned than anything. But before he could, Ann spoke up. Although it seemed to be more to herself than either of them.
“The school trip… Shiho was really looking forward to this.” Her voice was soft enough they almost hadn’t heard her, but at her solemn tone both boys were up; Akira propped up on his elbow to show he was at least listening, and Ryuji slumped partway up the foot of the bed so he could offer her a comforting hand. She took it with a squeeze and a sad smile before letting go and curling around a pillow. “Thanks. And sorry for bringing the mood down, but... it’s already been almost six months since then, hasn’t it? Feels weird thinking about it like that. Like, it’s really been that long, but at the same time it feels like we’ve been at this way longer than that. Like I’ve known you guys forever.” Ann sat up and chuckled softly. “This is all just too crazy.”
“Right?” Ryuji nodded and dropped his chin on his arms where they were crossed. “Hard to believe that the rowdy kids at school are famous all over the world, now.”
“Hey, I’m the model of good behavior,” their illustrious leader protested from the couch, and unstuck his arm yet again. Ann quirked an eyebrow and Ryuji snorted while throwing him a skeptical look over his shoulder. Akira added, “at school, anyways.”
“I’ll give you that much, I guess. But the point I was really making is even with all we’ve been through, don’t you think we still have a lot to learn about each other? Stuff like hobbies, clothes,” Ann’s mood lifted visibly as her weak smile turned mischievous, “and what kind of people we like?” Akira’s eyes went wide and the thought ‘Ann, don’t do this to me’ crashed through his mind loudly enough that he was worried they’d hear it whether he voiced it or not. “So, time to come clean, Ryuji.”
“Me?!”
Oh good, she was going to take it easy on him this time.
“Yup! What kind of girl do you like?”
“Uhhh, well…” Ryuji floundered for a moment, still a little uncertain when he started, “she’s gotta have a good personality. I’m okay with anyone who’s modest and nice.” Akira rolled his eyes and Ann made a face at his painfully vague answer. Still, he’d take that over hearing Ryuji go on at length about his perfect girl any day of the week. Especially if he stayed propped up at the foot of the bed like that, tank top riding just a little high over the small of his back, shorts riding just low enough to show the colorful neon band of his underwear, were those boxers or briefs-- no, stop that . He mentally shook himself, and then scolded himself for being a creep. Thankfully the distraction disappeared when his friend finally dropped down to his “bed” and leaned back on his hands.
“Okay, well what if two girls with equally good personalities both confessed to you at the same time?” Ann pressed, oblivious to Akira’s brief (boxer brief?) dilemma.
“If they’re equally nice? Then it’d hafta be...” Ryuji pursed his lips for a second while he thought, then shrugged, “the one with the hotter bod.” Akira rolled his eyes again, hard enough that for a second he was worried he’d need real glasses after pulling a muscle in his skull or something. Ann just deflated a little.
“Alright... And what about you, Akira?” She asked. “What kind of girl do you like?”
“What kind of girl do I like?” He parroted intelligently. “I, uh, don’t really have a type?” That was very much a lie. Even with Ann being specific, he’d panicked and blanked with his actual crush within arms reach and wearing one of those damn tank tops that Akira was pretty sure were designed to short out his brain specifically. Like the company had a vendetta or something.
“Psh, way to dodge the question.” Ryuji muttered and Akira shoved at his shoulder with his foot.
“You’re one to talk, Mister “Good Personality And A Hot Body.” All you actually gave us was “modest and nice.”” He retorted and crossed his arms when Ryuji scowled up at him. “Fine. For personality, compassionate, energetic, and optimistic. Outgoing, since I’m a stump until someone makes the first move. Loyal, obviously, but honest and not afraid to call me out if I’m being dumb. As far as looks, I like freckles and a warm smile. Athletic is a bonus, especially if they could kick my ass. Oh, and the combo of dark eyes and light hair is something I’ve always been a sucker for.” Akira rattled off, then fixed Ryuji with another pointed look before adding, “Specific enough? Any clearer and I’m moving the deadline up because I’ve given you everything but a name.”
Calm as he might have looked while he described his perfect partner in crime, Akira’s heart was pounding itself a bruise against the inside of his ribs while his friend processed what he’d said. Behind Ryuji, Ann was wide-eyed and waiting to see if he’d finally put the pieces together enough to recognize the picture of himself. A moment passed. And then another.
“Y’know, I think that’s the most I’ve ever heard you say at once. And what’s that about a deadline?” She asked Akira when his perfect partner in crime showed no signs of figuring it out.
“Oh, I’ve been trying to guess who he’s got a crush on for a couple months now. If I get it before Christmas he has to treat me to ramen for a month. If I can’t, then I’m the one buyin’ instead.” Ryuji explained, brow furrowed while he mentally flipped through whoever might fit the criteria. Akira half considered handing him a mirror and just getting it over with. “Oh, and if I only get it ‘cause someone else told me, then I owe him ramen and I gotta dye my hair pink for a week. So if you know, then keep your damn mouth shut.” He shot her a sharp look, knowing full well that she’d love to see him looking that kind of ridiculous. Her smile in response said that if the answer had been anyone but Ryuji himself, she absolutely would have gone for it.
“Don’t worry, that secret’s definitely safe with me.” Ann laughed instead, addressing Akira more than Ryuji. “Alright, same question. Two people who fit your way clearer list equally well confess to you at the same time. Who do you pick?”
Akira shrugged. “Probably whoever I got along with better. Even if they didn’t fit the list, honestly.” He said and paused to unstick himself from the couch. Again. “Your ‘type’ is just what gets your attention, y’know? Sure, sometimes someone’s so your type that you wanna kick your own ass for being predictable,” his eyes flicked to his best friend on the floor, who was watching him talk but not really hearing what he was saying , before he continued, “but someone could be exactly your type and not even register, or you might click with someone who becomes more attractive as you get to know them.”
“That’s pretty deep, dude.” Ryuji said, nodding approvingly.
“Oh yeah.” Ann agreed with a smirk. “Definitely deeper than your answer, Ryuji.”
“What?!” He yelped indignantly. Akira fidgeted with his bangs to hide the fact that he was trying very hard not to laugh. Ryuji glared at the snort that still escaped him.
“Your first answer is just superficial. The second answer is your true beliefs.” Ann stated matter-of-factly. “So Akira’s looking for a personal connection, while you only care about looks.” She sighed and flopped back onto the bed. “Kinda disappointing that you really are that kind of guy…”
“Oh come on, that ain’t fair! That was totally a trick question!” Ryuji sulked on the floor, then after a beat, he straightened up and turned suspicious eyes on their leader. “Actually... Speakin’ of trick questions, how come you emphasized “girl” like that, dude?” Akira froze mid-fidget, with an internal ‘ah, fuck’ that very nearly fell out of his face.
On the one hand, Ryuji Sakamoto was probably one of the straightest guys he had ever met, probably. Most likely. Akira was ninety percent certain. Any subtext to ‘bein’ free is like how I feel when I’m talkin’ to you’ and ‘my place is next to you, and yours is next to me’ was probably just wishful thinking on Akira’s part. Same with that time Ryuji’d called him ‘cute’ at the buffet. Safer to trust every time he’d brought up taking a girl to wherever it was they were hanging out on a given day. Not to mention the last time he’d trusted a straight best friend with that information… Well, the clean(ish) slate in Tokyo was definitely a relief. At least the rumors at Shujin were ones he could laugh at. Kinda. Almost.
“What do you mean?” Akira tested the waters and resumed his fidgeting, because on the other hand, Ryuji didn’t actually strike him as the kinda guy who’d screw him over like that. They were still best friends, maybe without the decade of friendship he and the last guy had, but they had awoken to their personas to protect each other. That had to count for something, right? They’d been to hell and back, then took the round trip again just for a laugh. If you can’t trust the guy who’s kept you from getting eaten by the embodiments of mankind’s subconscious fuckery more times than you can count, then who can you trust? Worst case scenario, the team dynamic would be a little weird for a while before they picked up their next target.
“Y’know, when you said, “what kind of girl do I like?” Why’d you emphasize it like that?” Ryuji repeated with a calculating look that didn’t waver for a moment while Akira weighed his options. Whatever, he was getting tired of dancing around it. In the words of the man himself, eff it. At least this way Akira could go back to cracking jokes about it again. No more biting his tongue whenever someone asked him to be straight with them.
“Oh,” he replied casually, like it had just slipped his mind to mention it sooner, and certainly not that he’d been very intentionally playing close to the vest on that subject. “I’m bisexual. Kinda surprised you didn’t pick up on it sooner, man. I haven’t exactly been subtle about it.” He glanced up at Ann, who shook her head.
“Not even a little,” she backed Akira up without hesitation. “Seriously, two conversations with him and I knew. Actually, I think you’re the last one on the team to figure it out.” Ann mirrored Akira’s hair twisting with one of her pigtails. “Although Morgana probably would have been if he didn’t basically live on Akira’s shoulder.”
“For real? Huh. I mean, I wondered a coupla times but I didn’t wanna be rude and just assume, y’know-- Wait, I’m getting off track!” Ryuji shook himself before he went off on a tangent, arms flailing as though to bat away the distracting thoughts. Then he whipped around to his leader--who was now fidgeting with his glasses the way he did with pencils to try and look cool and collected as usual--and pointed an accusing finger at him. Hoo boy. Not a great sign. Akira was already considering how to backpedal. “You’re a rotten cheater!” His friend snapped.
Akira laid his free hand across his own chest in dramatic mock offense and said, “Am not. That is an offensive stereotype, I’m as loyal as they come.” Covering nerves with sarcasm and theatrics was probably Akira’s greatest skill, even compared to the whole summoning-demons-in-an-alternate-dimension-to-fight-other-demons thing.
“At our bet , you jackass!” Ryuji gritted out in response and shook his finger for emphasis, then threw his hands up in exasperation. “You’ve had me guessing half a list for four months!”
A little bit of tension left Akira’s shoulders. Oh. Was that all?
“You haven’t been guessing the whole list, just the guy at the top of it. Plus it’s your own fault for assuming it was a girl.” Akira explained. He kept his tone casual, but his grip on his glasses faltered, betraying his nerves. He stared down in defeat at where they had landed on the floor before he continued. “Sure, maybe I didn’t bring it up cause I was… worried how you’d react. Last guy I called best friend went and outed me to the whole school back home and stopped talking to me after. Before that, we’d been inseparable since we were five.” And Akira hadn’t even been crushing on that guy. He looked up and caught the look on Ryuji’s face as the blond passed his glasses back to him; a deep, irritated frown had etched itself into his features, sad and a little thoughtful at the edges. Behind him Ann was watching so rapt at attention that Akira was half surprised she hadn’t spontaneously manifested a bucket of popcorn to go with the drama unfolding before her.
“You thought I’d really…?” Ryuji trailed off with a grimace, like the very idea was too shitty to even voice. “Aki, I’d never do that. To anyone , but especially not you, dude.” The blond insisted vehemently as he fixed him with a determined look. Completely adamant as he assured his leader of his support. That reaction was more of a surprise than it should have been, and exactly as much of a relief as Akira needed.
“I didn’t really, but at the same time, well, last time I figured “oh I can totally trust him, it’ll be fine,” it... wasn’t.” Akira slid his glasses back into place and resisted the urge to disappear behind them entirely by forcing himself to perk up a little. “Also, you’re almost painfully straight, dude. First time I saw your No Mo’ Rules shirt, I thought “oh my god is he actually wearing a shirt that says No Homo on it?” ” He finished flatly. Ann snorted, reminding the other blond that she was still there watching them.
“Dude, shut up!” Ryuji shoved Akira’s knee with a laugh, shook his head, and then thought for a moment. “ I don’t care, long as you don’t end up with an asshole. Although... if you do and he breaks your heart, I can at least kick his ass. So that’s somethin’. But seriously, that’s… That’s beyond shitty.” Ryuji continued in his best I’m Scheming Something voice, “...Does this guy have a name?” He offered with a grin. That fuckin’ grin, that warm, honest, sunshine smile that made the fluttery little thing in Akira’s chest go ballistic every time he saw it. That, compounded with the relief at his best friend’s continued unwavering support, meant it was a miracle that he hadn’t relaxed into a Phantom puddle that would need to be squeegee’d off the hotel’s cheap pleather couch. Instead, he smiled back.
“Nope, it’s the weirdest thing, his parents never named him, poor guy. Tragic, really, no wonder he lashed out.” Akira answered dryly, eliciting an unattractive snort from Ann and Ryuji both. “Seriously though, that’s a veto on that target. He’s not worth it. I appreciate the offer though.” He went back to fidgeting with his hair. “I am gonna move that deadline up to Halloween now, though, ‘cause you could give that description to Yusuke and get a picture of the guy you’re guessing.” Or, again, someone could just hand the ex-track star a mirror.
“Aw, come on!” Ryuji flumped back onto his pillow. Akira decidedly didn’t notice how the boy’s shirt had hiked itself halfway up his stomach when he did. His face definitely wasn’t warmer because of it.
“It still gives you almost two whole months to figure it out.” Ann pointed out.
“Ugh, fiiiine.” He rubbed at his eyes. “Gimme a sec to think, then.”
“Don’t hurt yourself,” Ann snickered.
“You’re gonna guess now?” Akira asked, ignoring her.
“Might as well! I got half the time I did a minute ago!” Ryuji stretched out a little further, leaving himself sprawled out across the floor. Brown eyes drifted shut while he considered, mumbling Akira’s list under his breath and almost visibly racking his brain. Ann’s gaze flicked between the two of them and she shot their leader an insufferable little smirk when she caught him definitely not looking at Ryuji playing with the hem of his shirt that was rucked up over his abs. Before she could mouth something undoubtedly mocking at him, Ryuji jackknifed back up off the floor and pointed another accusing finger at Akira. This time he had to shift back against the couch with a squeak--from the cushion, not himself, thankfully--to keep from getting poked in the face. “No!” Ryuji said, his tone and face the perfect picture of utter betrayal.
“Uhhh, can’t say until you tell me.” Akira said, leaning back and holding his hands up in a calming gesture. It was less for his friend and more for his own heart rate, which had rocketed back up again. He really hoped this wasn’t because he’d put the pieces together and finally, finally guessed--
“Akechi!” Ryuji seethed. Silence filled the room for a few tense moments before Ann burst out laughing. Cackling, actually. If she laughed much harder, she might’ve hurt herself.
What.
“What.” Akira blinked a few times and then let out a sharp little huff of laughter. “Uh, no. ”
“Seriously? He fits the description, like, to a T,” Ryuji lowered his hand and dropped an elbow onto his knee, “and I know I reacted kinda harsh, but you ain’t gotta lie if it really is him. Even if he is an asshole.” The blond frowned, wrinkling his nose in his distaste.
“I promised I wouldn’t lie, even if you got it as a joke.” Akira reminded him. “But I didn’t even know the guy existed until like two months after.”
“Oh right. Damn, I was sure I had it! ‘Cause think about it,” he held up a hand and started counting on his fingers as he made his points. “Light hair, dark eyes, freckles, check. He’s said in a bunch of his interviews that he usually bikes everywhere and spends his free time bouldering, so that’s a check for athletic. Loyal, honest, and outgoing? Well he’s got that whole idol detective thing going, so that’s gotta be a check, check, aaaand check, right? Not afraid to call you out on your shit, like he did during that interview where he slammed the p-thieves, check. Plus there’s that dumb perfect smile he’s got, so, check!” He crossed his arms and brought his chin up in a gesture that was both defiant and triumphant. “Admit it, he fits the bill!”
Okay, maybe he had a point. Akechi was cute, but...
“I mean he’s definitely a fit for more than a few things,” Akira started slowly, “but one, that smile isn’t warm, it’s plastic . And kinda creepy. Two, dude, I’ve been hanging out with the guy for a couple months and you know more about his hobbies than I do. Hell, he’s usually fresh off some show set and usually got concealer or something on, so even the freckles are news to me.” He quirked an eyebrow at Ryuji. “Why do you know all that stuff? Are you sure you’re not the one who’s into him?” Akira had to stifle a snort at the high, indignant noise Ryuji made.
“Hey! Mom likes to watch the damn talk shows he’s on, plus I was doin’ some research on him while he was at the top of the phansite rankings!” He responded defensively. “Y’know, try and get a head start on keyword clues and stuff in case he’s our next target!” To his credit, Akira did actually believe him; homework may not have been the guy’s strong suit, but he took his work as second-in-command of the Phantom Thieves very seriously. That said, it’d be a cold day in hell before Akira passed up an opportunity to mess with his best friend that was this perfect.
“Right. It’s definitely because of recon reasons,” Ann snickered, already on the same wavelength as their leader, “the fact that your go-to insult for the guy is ‘perfect’ is just a coincidence.”
“Come on! Nobody is that p--,” Ryuji paused and flailed for a different word, shooting each of his teammates murderous looks while they tried and failed not to laugh, “ polished without having some kind of creepy secret! And I’m not the one who’s apparently been hanging out with the guy for two months without telling the team!” He leveled yet another accusing glare at Akira, who put his hands back up again.
“That’s equal parts recon and platonic hangout. The guy seems kinda lonely, and it can’t hurt to keep an eye on him if he’s working on our case.” Akira explained quickly. The others still looked a little dubious, but they trusted his judgement, so they didn’t push. To keep the mood light he added, “Don’t worry, Ryuji, I’m not gonna steal your man.”
“Shut up!” The blond groused and thumped the other boy surprisingly hard in the stomach with his pillow.
“Burf. ” Akira responded and slumped sideways while Ann cackled loudly enough they half expected one of the neighboring rooms to bang on the wall to get them to quiet down. He hoped that if any of the chaperones got sent to check on them, it’d be Makoto or Kawakami; at least there he could do damage control rather than all four of them getting slapped with immediate detention for the next month as soon as Ann was spotted in his and Mishima’s room. After another several swats with Ryuji’s pillow, Akira seized it and tucked it under his head before stretching out on the couch, then grimaced at the awful squeaking sound the cushions made. “Seriously, though, I don’t know him well enough to be interested like that. Any other guesses?”
“Uhhh, lemme see…” Ryuji tilted his head one way and then the other, as though literally rolling the thought over in his head. “What about…” He muttered bits of the list under his breath again, then straightened up, opened his eyes, and flashed a cocky smile that briefly derailed Akira’s train of thought. No survivors. How tragic. “How ‘bout Mishima?”
Even thinking straight, so to speak, he definitely wouldn’t have been expecting that answer. Question. Whatever.
“Y’know, I hadn’t even thought of him like that.” Akira replied offhandedly, but hesitated as he gestured. Ryuji caught it immediately. Damn him and his ability to read his best friend like a picture book.
“Buuuuuut now you are and he’s higher on the list than you expected?” It was less a question and more a statement--and an incredibly smug one at that.
“I…” Akira started, waved a hand awkwardly, and then dropped it at his side. “Yeah! He’s sweet and earnest and dedicated and unfairly cute even in spite of his power trip last month and god dammit , Ryuji, I’m sharing a room with him for two more days. If this gets weird, you’re on rear guard for a month.”
“Wh-- how is that on me?” Ryuji demanded, but the impact was lessened by the grin and laugh bubbling up in his chest. Akira’s stomach did several backflips at the sound like it always did, with considerably less grace than when he pulled the same move in the Metaverse.
“You pointed it out.” He pouted and staunchly ignored the heat rising in his cheeks.
“So am I right?” The blond pressed. “Or, I guess, new first place?”
“Nope. Tied for third with Yusuke.” Akira added after a beat, “You seem weirdly invested in the idea of me and Mishima.”
“Huh?” Both his compatriots looked up at him with tilted heads and twin looks of puzzlement.
“Yesterday’s room assignments. He wanted to room with me and I said “why do you ask?” All I meant was “yeah man, why even ask, you’re my only other friend in our class besides Ann and one of seven people at Shujin who’ll give me the time of day.” I didn’t actually say that though, cause that’s… sad.”
“Yeah. Shujin sucks.” Ann interjected helpfully.
“Monumentally. Anyways, you jumped right on it and asked if he was, quote, “playing for the other team.” Except you weren’t using your I’m Gonna Give You Shit voice, you were using your I’m Scheming Something voice when you asked him,” Akira explained.
“My what? Come on, I don’t have--”
“You absolutely have an I’m Scheming Something voice,” Ann interrupted as she rolled over onto her stomach and started kicking her feet lazily through the air, chin propped on her pillow. “You know, that voice you use when you get some boneheaded idea that you’re certain is a genius move, but it’s really…”
“It’s really not.” Akira finished for her. “...did you only ask that because you were planning to play wingman? Without actually knowing I was bi yet? Shit, is he even interested in guys?” He pushed himself back up onto his elbow to look down at Ryuji, who took that as his opening to swipe his pillow back.
He tossed the pillow back and forth between his hands a couple of times almost thoughtfully before dropping it back onto his bedding. “I mean, I wasn’t really plannin’ and I woulda dropped it if you guys said to . But you gotta admit, there’s worse couples out there.” He glanced back at the bed. “C’mon, back me up, Ann. Him ‘n Mishima would be a pretty good pair.” She nodded. Traitor.
“Better than him and the guy he actually likes.” The blonde teased. “Akira could do way better.” Double traitor.
In return, Akira caught her eye and fixed her with a withering glare before he bit out, “Agree to disagree.” He looked to Ryuji again for a subject change while she giggled. “Any other guesses?”
“Well, I was gonna say Yusuke for my last one, but you just said he ain’t. And I can’t think of anyone off the top of my head that’s cooler than him and Makoto, so…” That made something in Akira’s chest clench and he had to literally bite his tongue before he blurted out something stupid. He always got defensive of his best friend when someone else was ragging on him, even more so when he started ragging on himself. Before Akira could do something impulsive and permanent, Ryuji let a jaw-cracking yawn. “Eh, whatever, I still got two months. I’m calling it for the night.”
“Aww, but this is way better than any of the dramas I’m missing!” Ann whined. She’d been watching Akira this time and had probably noticed him almost blurt out his feelings in a fit of “that’s my best friend you’re talking about.” He wouldn’t put it past her to try and coax it out of him if the conversation went on. Time to deflect.
“Well if you ain’t ready for bed yet, you could always answer your own question.” Ryuji responded in his best I’m Scheming Something voice. Even when he didn’t know it, his right hand man was always right there with whatever Akira needed. Ann tilted her head, not quite on the same page as the delinquent on the floor. “Y’know, what kind of person do you like?” Her eyes went wide at that. “ ‘S only fair,” he insisted in an almost-singsong tone.
“He has a point, it is only fair.” Akira confirmed matter-of-factly, latching fervently onto the new subject and earning a glare from the girl perched on his bed. He grimaced as he peeled himself off the couch-- again --to shift onto his side to look at her.
She opened and shut her mouth a few times as a flustered blush dusted her cheeks, obviously caught off guard by her turn to be called onto the carpet. But before she could try to come up with an answer or a deflection of her own, she was cut off by a low, miserable groan that was only barely muffled by the bathroom door.
“S-someone… my stomach…” Mishima’s voice pleaded.
“That doesn’t sound good.” Ann sat up and the concern in her voice was almost enough to hide the relief on her face.
“Y’know, wasn’t he drinkin’ the tap water earlier?” Ryuji asked. Akira sucked in a sympathetic breath through his teeth and then nodded gravely. “That’s like the one thing you’re not supposed to do when you’re out of the country!”
“I saw a vending machine in the hall with antacids and stuff at the bottom.” Akira fished out his wallet and pulled out some of the cash he’d gotten back from the convenience store. “Here, go grab him something.” He held out the money to Ryuji, who frowned and opened his mouth to object. Akira interrupted, “Use what’s left for whatever snacks you want, you won’t even have to share.” Ryuji’s frown deepened and he crossed his arms. “...And I’ll trade you spots? You can have the couch for the night.”
The blond immediately brightened and swiped the money from Akira’s hand. He was already halfway out the door before he called back, “You’re the best, Aki! Don’t go fallin’ asleep before you can let me back in!” And then he was gone. Akira dropped his wallet and glasses onto the nearby coffee table before he rolled off the couch with a squeak of pleather, a dull thump to the floor, and a vow against all cheap plastic seating in this dimension and the next that he grumbled into the pillow he’d landed face-first on.
“Real big sacrifice for you, huh Aki ?” Ann mused. He ignored the jab and hummed in agreement, then lifted a hand to shoot a rude gesture at the couch that was his second least-favorite giant green abomination.
“If anything could make me miss my lumpy attic bed on plastic crates, it’s that damn thing,” came his muffled gripe. He actually was a lot more tired than he’d realized, and the jet lag was finally catching up to him. He sunk into the makeshift nest of bedding that he definitely didn’t notice the lingering scent of his best friend on because that would be weird. After a few moments of sleep threatening to take him right then and there, he finally lifted his head to look up at Ann, who was still watching him from the foot of the bed. “So.”
“So?” She looked a little nervous, like maybe he’d decided to press Ryuji’s question. Luckily for her, he wasn’t actually terribly interested in an answer he was pretty certain he already knew; dark hair, athletic, honest to a fault, has a name that rhymes with the sound a Jack Frost makes. Hee-ho, King Frost supplied helpfully . Hee-ho, indeed. But that wasn’t what he was planning on asking.
“You saw it too, right?” She tilted her head again. “The way Ryuji’s hair ruffled when all of that went flying over his goddamn head? It wasn’t just me, was it?” His voice cracked in his disbelief and Ann giggled.
“Oh, that. Yeah, I definitely saw that,” she confirmed. “I told you, you just gotta be straight with him.”
“I literally can’t do that, Ann.” Akira deadpanned. “It is impossible. Especially when he wears those stupid tank tops with those stupid freckles on his stupid shoulders.” She groaned and smacked him with her pillow, knocking another annoyed “burf” out of him.
“Ugh, you know what I mean! Be direct! Just tell him flat out!” She groaned and threw her hands up.
“I… What if he already knows?” He rolled over and sprawled out on the floor, then draped one arm over his eyes. Ann sighed at the melodramatic bisexual mess before her. “Maybe he’s being subtle and trying to not hurt my feelings. I mean, could he be trying to let me down easy by pointing out other guys I’d have a better shot with?” No response came and the silence stretched for probably a full minute before he finally peeked out from under his arm. Ann was looking down at him like he was the biggest moron on the planet and, in all fairness, maybe he was.
“Are you asking me if Ryuji effin’ Sakamoto is capable of subtlety?” Ann asked flatly. “The guy whose weapons of choice in the metaverse are a steel pipe, a great big shotgun, and occasionally a boot to the head? Whose idea of a secret hideout is the one place in school that screams “hey, we’re a bunch of suspicious delinquents who are obviously up to something?” Living embodiment of the phrase ‘a bolt out of the blue?’ That Ryuji Sakamoto?”
Akira opened and shut his mouth a few times, trying to formulate an argument. But he had nothing. “I mean technically the hideout was Morgana’s idea but… yeah, point taken,” he mumbled.
“He’s just that dense,” she assured him soothingly and settled back on the bed like she was finally ready to sleep. “In fact, I’m formally requesting that, just this once, please let me call him dumb without getting on my case about it. You practically handed him a picture of himself and he still didn’t get it.”
“I knoooow!” He groaned dramatically and rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes. “Ugh, fine. But it’s the only one you get.” He added in an undertone more to get it out of his system than to actually get a response, “it’s probably for the best, he’s so goddamn straight and I don’t wanna make things weird.” Another awkward pause hung in the air and Akira could practically feel Ann staring at him like he was a moron again.
Before he could look up to meet her undoubtedly judgemental gaze, she sighed, “y’know what? Forget it, I wanna save that for when I really need it. Plus, I can safely say he’s not even our dumbest member anymore.” Akira dropped one hand and raised a questioning eyebrow at her. He was met with another obnoxiously knowing smile as she replied airily, “It’s you.”
Akira popped up and opened his mouth to object, even if he had set himself up for that one, but was cut off by a knock at the door. Instead, he scowled at her as he got up to let Ryuji back in. He paused before opening the door to grumble back:
“Bite me, Takamaki.”