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Xie Yun is better.
The three medicines prepared by the elders at Penglai didn't cure him of the Bone Piercing Blue spreading in his veins, but it gave him a little bit more time. And a little bit more time is enough, for now. A'Fei can use it to find a real cure to save him.
For now, just pulling Xie Yun back from the very brink of death, having him beside her in some semblance of his usual self... it is well enough.
Of course, the reprieve offered by the medicine isn't without its own complications.
The heat of the medicine made from the fire lotus may have saved his bones from turning to ice, halted the poison from freezing his very marrow. But, it has also left him more vulnerable to the cold than ever before.
A'Fei buys bolts upon bolts of pretty fabric when she realizes this, when she notices the way Xie Yun shivers despite the balmy air of early summer. Trading coin and skill freely with four different dressmakers belonging to the Itinerant Gang, she commissions multiple sets of robes for Xie Yun on the way to and from Jiankang.
Xie Yun protests initially, pretends like he is fine with what he has. Eventually though, he gives in upon her insistence, as he always does.
And that is how within a couple of weeks of leaving Penglai, Xie Yun has many new sets of robes, all designed to be worn in multiple complementary layers that will flatter his physique while also keeping him cozy and warm.
She can see his gratitude for her attentive and affectionate care every time they sit together - in how he wraps the soft warm layers tighter around himself and snuggles in with a sigh, and then looks up to smile contentedly at her, from across the table of an inn they're staying at, or with a fire pit glowing between them under the starry sky.
A'Fei is glad that, as far as problems go, that one is so readily fixed.
Because there are other complications that are not as easy to resolve.
Xie Yun's choice to let Bone Piercing Blue flood his meridians by fighting with Pushing Cloud Palm - not once, but twice - has wrecked the balance of his internal energy drastically, and ruined his heat cycle beyond repair. It was one of the many things the old monk told her when she asked about Xie Yun's condition. Add to that the long semi-comatose recovery, with desperate experimental medicines used to save him on top of that - all of it has only left him even worse off since when it comes to regulating his own condition.
His heats have been chaotic and unpredictable the past few months, A'Fei knows, the usual teas and herbs that all omegas consume to regulate their cycles or curb its effects having no success on Xie Yun anymore.
She hasn't been present for one of his heats, not yet. Xie Yun hasn't had one since they reunited.
But, A'Fei knows that it is only a matter of time.
And when the time comes, she will be ready to care for him in this too, in whichever way he needs.
***
A'Fei can smell the shift in Xie Yun's scent the minute she wakes up.
She rolls over, propped up on her elbow to peer over at where he is sleeping, in the bed across from her own, nestled against the far wall in their shared rooms at the inn for the day.
Xie Yun is curled up on his side, buried under many blankets, face flushed and eyebrows crinkled with a frown even in sleep. A shiver wracks his frame as A'Fei watches, though he doesn't wake.
But the sweet scent of him is strengthening by the minute, full-bodied and permeating.
A'Fei sits up, running through a mental checklist of all she'll need to do.
First, she must head down and speak to the innkeeper to send up a warm bath so Xie Yun can soak in it, to warm himself up and soothe any soreness or aches he has in his muscles with the onset of heat.
Next, she will need to speak to the cook about having a hearty broth sent up for all of their meals for the next day or so, till Xie Yun's heat runs its course. Something meaty, perhaps roast duck soup...
After that, she will ask the busboy to get her some strong incense sticks to light near the doors to their rooms, to mask any heat scent from leaving this room.
A'Fei has never bothered with such habits herself, not minding the sticky-sweet scent of it on herself or if others are able to sense it on her, as long as they don't come to bother her about it. But Xie Yun seems the type who appreciates such politesse.
He'd certainly fluttered about handwringing when A'Fei herself had a sudden heat while recovering from her own upset internal energies, when they'd stayed with Madam Nichang a few years ago. He hadn't settled down till she finally allowed him to bring her soup in bed and ply her with medicinal teas, preparing a warm bath for her to wash off her heat sweats after and lighting soothing incense around the chambers to disperse any lingering discomfort and help her sleep.
And so now, it's her turn.
She is determined to have him feel as comfortable and supported and safe as he's always made her feel.
With all that in mind, she gets up and starts to get dressed.
***
Xie Yun is still asleep when A'Fei returns from her errands.
The scent of his heat is much thicker in the rooms already, a heaviness she can almost taste at the back of her tongue, rich and intoxicating.
Clearing her throat and gripping her sword tight, A'Fei closes her eyes and takes a deep, steadying breath, then slowly exhales it out.
It is perfectly manageable, as a general thing. They are not animals, after all.
Heat scent is merely a suggestion, a momentary attraction, no different than a well-formed body tastefully presented in eye-catching robes, or a lovely face that stands out in the crowd.
In general, an omega's heat is just a thing to be managed and masked, forgotten or ignored, except for anyone the omega may choose to share it with greater intimacy, if they wished.
But then again, this is not just any random omega's heat scent. This is Xie Yun's.
Desire for Xie Yun is not new to A'Fei. Desire for each other is not new to either of them in this relationship; they have spent far too much time by now as close travel partners, as heartfelt confidantes and loving soulmates. Physical intimacy is a choice that is tantalizingly within grasp for the ever-evolving boundaries of what they mean to one another, one that they tiptoe around for now, each for their own set of reasons.
She already knows today is not the day they will reach out to make the choice to cross that boundary or dissolve it altogether - it is not the time or place. Not when Xie Yun is still weak from the ravages of the poisoning and recovery, and their lives still contain so many parts that hang in precarious balance.
And so, it is fine.
Another deep breath, and the scent is no longer a raging storm of enchantment but a gentle welcoming breeze that curls around her, lovely and delicate and so very Xie Yun. Alluring, but with its edges softened, a warm embrace on a cold night.
A'Fei steps towards the bed to check on him.
He's lying on his back now, covers half pushed off, a light sheen of sweat coating his brow. A'Fei reaches out a finger to brush a messy lock of hair away from his cheek, then strokes the soft skin there.
His eyelids flutter.
"Xie Yun," she calls quietly, and he blinks awake, slow and sleepy.
"A'Fei?"
"You're in heat."
His eyes come focused and he blinks rapidly a few times before slumping a bit. "Ah. That explains why my limbs feel like I just ran all the way around the shores of Penglai."
He gives her a tired half-smirk, face still puffy with sleep, eyes squinting up at her.
Oh.
A'Fei leans forward and presses a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth, needing an outlet for the surge of affection in her chest.
"I have asked the innkeeper to send up a warm bath," she tells him, pulling back, manner brusque to mask how she is slightly blushing. "They should be here soon."
Xie Yun looks a little bit surprised from her impulsive kiss, but he then relaxes back on the bed, taking her hand in his.
"Heroine Zhou takes very good care of me," his smile is like a sunbeam at dawn.
"Someone has to, you certainly don't do a good job of it for yourself," A'Fei snipes back, but the fondness she feels as she says it is incongruent and devastating.
As always, though, Xie Yun reads between the lines everything she can never bring herself to say out loud.
He just squeezes her hand in reply, grinning.
***
They eat first, Xie Yun much less spirited than he usually is during a meal, just quietly sipping the broth and chewing on the meat, still bleary-eyed.
After, A'Fei pulls up the privacy screens so he can undress and get into the steaming water in the bathtub. When he gives a sound, she turns back to keep an eye on him, so she can be ready to help if he needs.
He does fine washing his body, but by the time it comes to lathering his hair, his movements are lethargic and sluggish. She steps in then and takes the soap from his hands, helping him wash the thick heavy mass.
Xie Yun completely gives up at that point, just sinking deeper into the warm water with a sigh while A'Fei gently lathers and rinses his hair. She settles into the rhythm of it, massaging his scalp with soft rhythmic presses of her fingertips, tilting his head back to rinse off the soap.
She looks down while reaching for the pitcher to pour water over his head, and stills.
His eyes are closed and his ears are red. His lashes are wet, dark smudges against the rosy blush staining his cheeks. His throat bobs when he gulps.
A'Fei simply watches for a second, captivated.
He is so beautiful.
Xie Yun's throat bobs again, and his eyes finally flutter open, gaze meeting hers, carrying the heat of a banked fire.
A'Fei bites her lip and looks away, getting back to the task at hand, continuing to wash off the last of the suds from his hair. Xie Yun quietly sits and lets her, moving his head obligingly as she guides him to. But his eyes never leave her.
When she's done helping him wash, A'Fei moves back behind the screen again so he can get out of the water and get dressed.
It is as much out of courtesy as it is for reprieve for herself - she needs a minute away from Xie Yun to get a grip on the way her heartbeat drums in her chest.
To keep herself occupied while he's dressing, A'Fei moves to light the incense burners just inside the doors to their rooms. They smell like frankincense and cloves, spicy and strong. It will definitely mask the gentle earthy citrus of Xie Yun's heat scent, prevent it from permeating outside of their chambers.
When she turns, Xie Yun is standing in the middle of the room, clad in just his underclothes, with his outer robe thrown around his shoulders for warmth.
Her breath catches in her throat.
Everything about the vision Xie Yun presents is an open invitation, from the color high in his cheeks from his heat, to the long lines of his body she can perfectly make out through the flimsy clothes draped on him, to the intense searching way he is looking at her.
He has dried and oiled his hair, finger-combed it to lie smooth and untangled, but he has not bothered to put it up in the usual ponytail. It falls around his shoulders in loose, slightly-damp waves, a unique kind of intimacy to see him so undone.
"A'Fei..."
"Get on the bed."
His mouth parts, eyes widening in shock.
Her own eyes widen when she realizes what that sounded like.
"Not - Not that," A'Fei hastens to add, blushing a bit herself now. "Not yet - unless... you want that? I thought you didn't - that we weren't, but if...?"
"No," he confirms, shaking his head. "I don't... Not this time. Just - not yet."
"Alright," A'Fei says, relief and disappointment and yearning and resolve a confusing whirl within her, one that she can see reflected in Xie Yun's expression as well. "Yes, that's fine, it's just like we already decided so it's - I just meant to say get on the bed so you don't overexert yourself or catch a chill."
"Alright," his mouth lifts up in a tired little smile again and he heads towards his still-unmade bed.
She joins him there in a few minutes with a fresh pot of cold-brewed tea to keep at his bedside table, within reach for whenever he may need to take a drink. She then sits on his bed by his side, looking down at him curled up under the sheets again.
His forehead is hot under her palm, but not unreasonably so for an omega's heat.
"Do you need privacy to - to take care of yourself?" she asks, lightly stroking his fringe away from his warm forehead, carding gentle fingers through the strands. He leans into the petting with a deep contented noise from the back of his throat, eyes closed.
"No, stay. I am not really feeling up to doing anything of - of that nature - by myself either, anyway. Mostly, I just feel leaden and sore, my muscles ache like with an illness."
A'Fei continues petting him in silence for a few more minutes, then decides to go for it.
"Would you like it if I stayed in bed with you then? Gave you a massage, perhaps? Till you feel better?"
Xie Yun hums in mild reproach. "It's just a heat, Waterweed Elf. I'll be fine. You don't have to go out of your way to do these things."
"I only offer because I would like to do it too."
Xie Yun blinks. "You want to give me a massage?"
"Yes, why not? It'll make you feel better and I'll feel -" less useless, less like I'm failing my mate while he's suffering, less like I'm being rejected by you when all I want is to get lost in your scent and touch and taste - "also better."
Xie Yun just looks at her, quiet, searching, eyes flickering all over her face and no doubt reading everything she can't put into words in her expression.
"Alright," he says finally, moving to turn so he's lying on his front, resting his cheek on his folded arms. He turns his head to look at A'Fei. "Whatever you like. Just please remember to be kind with this fragile man, Great Heroine."
"Shut up with your nonsense," A'Fei says, but her heartbeat quickens when she gets up on the bed and moves to sit straddling Xie Yun's back, weight resting on the back of his thighs.
She puts two palms lightly on the small of his back. His warm body rises and falls under her when he takes a slow deep breath, then exhales it quietly.
She can feel her pulse beating in her throat as she places gentle pressure against the end of his spine, kneading lightly with her palms.
Xie Yun lets out a soft moan from the back of his throat.
"A'Fei..."
"Shh," she says, kneading harder, feeling the way his hips shift minutely under her touch.
His heat scent is growing, turning sweeter and more potent the longer A'Fei touches him. It's slow torture, to have him spread out willing and pliant beneath her and yet to not touch skin to skin, to not kiss and touch and have.
"Can I do something?" A'Fei eventually asks, when the wanting gets to be a bit too much. "If I - can I just lift your shirt a bit so I can touch you?"
Xie Yun stiffens under her for a second, but his agreement when it comes is given readily and wholeheartedly.
A'Fei reaches forward and gently gathers the heavy mass of his hair, pushing it to the side so it doesn't lay over his back.
And then, she grasps the hem of his loose undershirt and pushes it up.
The skin revealed to her is pale gold, a few shades lighter than his face and arms, but just a bit darker than her own fair palms. She leans till his shirt is rucked up near the base of his skull, then settles back again, studying him.
He is skinny, she knows, but the shape of him is beautifully strong. Broad shoulders that taper into a lovely waist that is small but nevertheless thickly-corded with lithe muscle, testament to the years of practice it must have taken to achieve his incredible Lightness Skill and such high proficiency in hand-to-hand combat.
She lets herself indulge in just touching him for a few minutes, fingers roving over the smooth skin of his back, warm living marble under her fingertips, before finally beginning with the massage.
A'Fei starts at the base of his spine, working her fingers into the tense knotted muscles at his waist, slowly working her way up to his shoulders. Xie Yun has gone boneless under her, arching into her touch eagerly, giving out little husky moans of pleasure whenever she works on a particularly tight knot. The muscles of his back ripple with his movements when he bucks slightly, vertebrae little hills and valleys to explore in a newfound land, ivory shoulder blades the nubs of vestigial wings.
He's mine, A'Fei thinks, as his heat scent grows even stronger in the air around her, with every firm press of her palms, the scent tinged now with his slow-building arousal. Heat pools in her own stomach in response, spreading to her limbs, tingling. He's mine. Mine to belong to and mine to cherish in turn.
There's a round gnarly mass of flesh a little above his hip to the left, a white mass of scar tissue long-healed. The remnant of a stabbed knife, perhaps, or a pierced arrowhead.
One day she will put her mouth on it, run her tongue over it till she learns every divot of healing it took to keep him alive to find her.
"A'Fei..." he says, ragged, voice several octaves lower.
"Do you want privacy now?" she asks, half-teasing, half-entreating.
Or do you want me?
She doesn't ask that. Even she's not sure what answer she'd like if she were to ask that question, not when this liminal space is already so overwhelmingly richly rewarding, with shared sweet intimacies that have her feeling unspooled.
"N- no," Xie Yun says, voice slurred, like he's half-drunk, or half-asleep. "Still not really looking to - don't really want to - 's just nice. Having you here, like this, having you touch me and... A'Fei."
He reaches up behind him blindly, and she is there to catch his flailing hand, to grasp it within her own. He tugs, trembling and weak as a newborn colt, the fever of his heat having turned his muscles liquid. But she goes easily, willingly, laying herself bodily on top of him in the way he seems to be asking for. Surrounding him, tethering him.
She can feel the warmth and hard planes of his back even through her clothes, the scent of him headier than ripe plum wine now that her nose is buried in his neck.
Xie Yun shifts a bit, settling in a comfortable position that compensates for her full added weight on top of him, and then he reaches back once more to pat her hip.
"Like this, yes," he murmurs, dreamy and faraway. "Exactly like this. It's really nice. A'Fei."
And it is. The scent of him blankets her as surely as her body does him, the feel of him against her a living inebriant. Her own arousal is still there, smoldering coal in her gut that can be stoked into an inferno someday. But for now it's enough to just have its warmth sending pleasant shivers through her limbs, without any real sense of need or urgency or intent.
This time, the arousal isn't a beginning, but a destination on its own, to be slowly teased out, savored.
Not yet, she thinks, letting herself settle entirely on top him, comfortable and content. Not yet, not yet.
This by itself is indescribably nice. A closeness she could only dream of for those fraught months of travel, racing against time and facing many dangers, just for the feeble hope of having one more day beside him.
This by itself is perfect.
"Alright," she whispers back, nosing into the soft downy hair at his neck. She presses a quick kiss to his swollen scent glands, and he shudders at that, letting out another deep purr of a sound. She can feel the vibrations of it travel from his chest to her own, rattling through her ribs to add to the march of her heart. "Alright, I have you."
"You do," he says, voice fading as he slowly succumbs to sleep. "All of me, always."