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"You knew her too, right?"
Isabela's question took Anders by surprise. Partly because he hadn't really been paying attention to the conversation, too busy noticing how Garrett kept brushing his hair behind his ear only for the short dark pieces to flick out again seconds later. Adorable. He blinked a few times while he processed it, then frowned. "... Who are we talking about?"
Varric snickered, shooting a cheeky glance at Garrett. "Looks like Blondie's got other things on his mind, right, Hawke?"
The slightest hint of pink entered Garret's cheeks, and he smiled at Anders. "Isabela was regaling us with the tale of how she failed to seduce the King and Queen of Ferelden."
"You make it sound much more dramatic than it was, they weren't royalty then, remember. And the real high point of that story is how she beat me at Wicked Grace. Me!" Isabela exclaimed, swigging from her beer as if to extenuate her continuing surprise.
"She caught you cheating, you mean."
"Varric, cheating at Wicked Grace is winning Wicked Grace. But we've moved on from that, I want to hear from our resident Grey Warden."
Anders shook his head, his expression a mixture of amusement and slight reluctance. "Resident former Grey Warden," he corrected, "And not every Warden knows her, they're quite spread out."
Isabela raised her eyebrows. "I think that's called 'avoiding the question'. Wouldn't you agree, Varric?"
Nodding, Varric shot another grin towards Anders. "Oh, absolutely. Come on, Blondie, does Sebastian have competition for 'best connection to royalty'?"
"I mean, Sebastian is literal royalty," Anders muttered, taking a bracing drink and then letting out a sigh. "She conscripted me. Almost definitely saved my life in doing so. It was about... six months after the Blight ended, I think? Darkspawn had done something useful for once and killed the Templars who'd captured me and, when she found me, Elizabeth actually believed that I hadn't killed them. Or she didn't care. Either way, I helped her retake Vigil's Keep."
"Oooooh, 'Elizabeth'," Isabela teased, "Not Her Highness? Or Warden Commander Cous-whatever-her-name-is? Watch out, Hawke, he's on first name terms with her."
Anders rolled his eyes at the exact same time that Garrett let out a confident laugh.
"So, let me get this straight, you helped her take out a hoard of Darkspawn, and in return she made you join the Grey Wardens?" Varric asked, frowning slightly. "That doesn't sound like the Hero of Ferelden everyone talks about. I thought she was supposed to be all kind and genuine and the like?"
"You're skipping ahead," Garrett said, having already heard this story a few times.
Giving the other mage a grateful smile, Anders continued. "So, we took back the Keep and everything was calm for approximately five minutes, before the Royal guard arrived at the gates. Officially they were there to ensure the Keep was successfully handed over to the Wardens, or something, but I think King Alistair just wanted to make sure Elizabeth was alright. But he had a Templar with him, and she was less inclined to believe that I hadn't murdered my captors. She was all set to arrest and almost definitely execute me, but Elizabeth invoked the Right of Conscription, and obviously the King wasn't about to refuse her that. She kept me safe from Rylock then, and again a few weeks later when we were tricked and ambushed by Templars."
Her words slightly muffled by her beer bottle, Isabela butted in, "Do all of your stories involve Templars?"
"You asked to hear the story."
"True. Still, you can't have been that enthusiastic about becoming a Warden."
Anders nodded. "I was planning to run away before they even got me near their Joining ritual. But Elizabeth promised me that I didn't actually have to become a Warden. She never wanted to be one herself, and didn't think anyone should be forced to again, especially if there wasn't an actual Blight."
Garrett was laughing again. "You told them that very easily, you made me swear on my life that I wouldn't tell anyone else."
"What, that she didn't like being a Warden?" Varric was laughing too. "I suppose it would be a bit of a dampener on the 'Hero of Ferelden' story."
"That's a good point actually, thank you, Garrett," Anders chuckled, squeezing his partner's hand under the table. "Yes, none of you can tell anyone that. Or that she initially lied about conscripting me. Especially you, Varric."
The author opened his mouth to protest, but quickly accepted defeat as all three of his companions raised their eyebrows at him. "Alright, alright, I swear. But why did you join, then?"
There was a moment's pause, broken by Anders' small sigh. "I... I didn't really have anywhere else to go. With the Wardens, with her, I was protected from Templars, I had a warm bed, decent food, and people who... people who weren't afraid of me just for being a Mage. Elizabeth might not be a Mage, but she knew how we were treated was wrong. She wants to help, but the Crown doesn't control the Circles."
"'Wants'?" Varric echoed. "Not 'wanted'... Do you still talk to her?"
"Huh? Oh, no, just... just a slip of the tongue." Anders inwardly cursed himself. Of course Varric would pick on something as small as tenses. "But I hope she still does, anyway." Noticing the slight scrutiny in their gazes (especially in Garretts'), Anders was keen to keep the story moving. "So I stayed. Became a proper Grey Warden. It was all fine while Elizabeth was Warden Commander, but she didn't want to stay at Vigil's Keep any longer than she had to. She missed Alistair terribly all the time we were in Amaranthine. She left as soon as the remaining Darkspawn weren't a threat anymore. But the Commander who replaced her was... much more traditional. Much less freedom, much more Victory, Vigilance, and Sacrifice. I tried to keep going with them, even after they made me give up Sir Pounce-A-Lot. But suddenly there was an 'ex'-Templar on every assignment with me." His finger quotations around the 'ex' highlighted his doubt of that. "And then with Justice... Well, safe to say I left very quickly after all that."
They were all still looking at him, but the suspicion seemed to have been replaced with sympathy.
"Would you have stayed?" Isabela asked after a brief silence. "If the Hero- if Elizabeth had stayed, do you think you would have too?"
It wasn't the first time Anders had pondered that question. "I don't know," he answered honestly. "Maybe. But she wouldn't have been happy if she stayed with the Wardens. And she was my friend. Is my friend. I want her to be happy. Besides," he added, clearing his throat, "Who'd patch all of you up if I wasn't here?"
"Well, I'm going to be selfish and say I'm certainly glad you left the Wardens," Garrett chuckled, sneaking a kiss against Anders' cheek and making the other man blush.
"You two are horrifically adorable," Isabela commented but, despite her snide tone, she was smiling at them.
"Do you miss Ferelden?"
For the second time that evening, Anders was caught off guard by the question. He looked over at Garrett as the two of them walked through Hightown, a slightly puzzled frown crossing his features. "Pardon?"
"I think tonight is the first time I've heard you talk about Ferelden to anyone except me. I suppose... I don't know, I suppose it made me realise that I've never actually asked you if you miss it. The good parts of it, at least. The good people."
Anders had to think about that for a moment. "... Is it a cheap answer to say I don't know?" he smiled softly. "I miss people, I suppose, yes. Elizabeth, Nathaniel... Maker, I even miss Oghren sometimes. But so much... bad happened in Ferelden. And bad things have happened here, I know, but..." The smile got a little bolder, and he slipped his hand into Garrett's. "But there's something so good here, too."
Garrett was smiling too. They were nearly home, but he still paused their walk to press a deep kiss to Anders' lips. "Love you," he murmured, before taking Anders' hand again and pulling him towards home.
It was later that evening that Anders' mind wandered back to his time at Vigil's Keep. While getting ready for bed, his hand had brushed the scarf Elizabeth had given him what seemed like so long ago. Pulling it free from the wardrobe, he simply held it for a moment, moving to sit cross-legged on the bed as memories of her washed over him. The stories of the Hero of Ferelden might exaggerate a lot, but they were right on one thing; she was special. Not for being a Warden, not for him, and not for killing the Archdemon. But she was special to Anders for simply caring about him. For trusting him. And maybe a little for killing the Archdemon.
He was still lost in thought when Garrett sat besides him on the bed, looking intrigued at the scarf. "Now why have I never seen you wearing this?" he grinned, gently taking it from Anders' hands and draping it around his shoulders.
"It's just a scarf, Garrett," Anders chuckled, shuffling closer to the other.
"A very fetching scarf. For a very fetching man," Garrett responded, stealing a quick kiss before Anders could disagree. "I'm going to go out on a limb and say this was a gift from your Warden?"
"You can use her name, Garrett, it's not blasphemous," Anders laughed. "But yes. Ironically, I think Elizabeth got it from the Chanty in Amaranthine. But I've always liked it. It's one of the only things I brought with me from Ferelden."
Garrett's smile was softer now, more tender, and he raised a hand to brush a few strands of blonde hair off of Anders' face. "You might see her again, you never know. Maybe we'll get a Royal visit! Imagine it, I'd have to try and find some plates that aren't chipped and cushions that haven't been chewed by the dog."
Anders laughed, but a sadness had crept into his eyes. There was something else in them too. A resignation. "She writes to me."
"... What?" Anders didn't need to look at Garrett, he could hear the surprise in his voice. And the concern. "I don't know how the letters are getting here, no-one in Ferelden should know where I am. They would show up in the clinic, no address, not even my name." He got off the bed and crossed to his wardrobe, retrieving the locked box he hid at the back of it. "Now that I'm living here, I find them under the window, though it's always still locked."
The concern had spread to Garrett's face as Anders bought the box back over to the bed and sat beside him again. "You... You don't seem that worried about that... I'm amazed you risked opening the first ones if they didn't even have your name on them."
"I trust her. Honestly, other than you, she's probably the only person I do trust. If she wanted me apprehended, it would have happened long before I reached Kirkwall. And they might not have my name on, but the envelopes are never blank." There was a soft smile on Anders' face as he held up one of the envelopes. The neat, flowing handwriting on it read: 'From Sir Pounce-A-Lot'.
The immediate worry seemed to have left Garrett, and now he was sharing Anders' smile. "So that 'friend in Amaranthine' who you gave your cat too was, in fact, the Queen of Ferelden?"
"He's now the Royal Mouse-catcher, and as spoiled as he deserves to be," Anders nodded, absent-mindedly running his thumb over the pen grooves in the paper. "I wish he was still with me, but he's much safer with Elizabeth."
"We could have a cat here, if you wanted?"
The smile stayed on Anders' lips, but it seemed a little sadder. "You're sweet, but... I don't know. I'm hardly the safest person in Kirkwall. Keeping an eye on the strays in Darktown was one thing, but I'm already putting enough things I love in danger." The hand not holding the letter had drifted over to Garrett, fingertips grazing over the scars on his rough hands.
"I'm the one dragging you on fools' errands around Kirkwall," Garrett pointed out with a soft chuckle, but he looped his arms around Anders and pulled him close, pressing a tender kiss to the blonde's head, and letting himself nuzzle into his hair for a moment. "You're not putting me in any more danger than I'm in for just existing, Anders. Even if you were, I wouldn't care. I'm better when I'm with you. I'm... I'm myself when I'm with you. I don't have to be anyone's Champion. I can just be Hawke."
"You're my Champion," Anders grinned cheekily, unable to resist the opportunity and earning a proper laugh from the other as a result. "You can just be Garrett," he corrected. With Carver a Templar (something Anders could and would never forgive him for) and the rest of his family gone, Anders was the last person around who still used Garrett's first name. Another grateful kiss was pressed to Anders' head and, finally, Anders felt the tension fade from his body. Garrett's arms were the only place he could ever relax and let his guard down now.
They stayed like that for a while, indulging themselves in the comfort, in the silence, in each other's strong but gentle hold. With the rising tensions between Meredith and Orsino setting the whole city on edge, these soft moments were few and far between nowadays.
But eventually Garrett spoke, his words slightly muffled as he kept his face hidden in Anders' hair. "Wait, if the letters arrive here now, does that mean she knows about me? About us?"
Anders' chuckle confirmed that. "Yes. She's mentioned you a few times. Mostly to say that she's happy for us. Once to assure me that she'll send an army after you if you hurt me."
That had Garrett laughing too. "Have you written back to Elizabeth?"
"No," Anders sighed. "I do trust her, and she has the means to get these here in total secrecy, but I can't guarantee that any letter I send couldn't be traced back here by someone else. Who knows how letters to the Queen and King are handled, anyone could end up reading it. It's safer for everyone that I don't." Somewhat reluctantly, he moved out of Garrett's embrace to search through the box of letters again. "But she understands, she said so in one of these. Hold on..." He opened a few letters, scanning the first few lines of each in turn until he found the one he was looking for, and passed it to Garrett. Dated from three weeks ago, it read:
A,
I've heard things are getting even worse where you are. I'm sure you won't, but please know you can hide here if you ever need to, you and anyone you care about. We can find a way to bring you here safely. I understand why you don't want to come back, but it will always be an option for you.
You're probably sick of seeing me write this, but I do worry about you. Templars are getting bolder and more violent everywhere, but the rumours we hear coming out of your city are horrific. Please keep as safe as you can. We're trying to keep them under control here, but we have no sway over the Circles or the Chanty and they are refusing to see reason. I can hardly imagine how much worse they must be for you. Something big is coming, something bad. I can feel it.
The Ball and Chain should be visiting your city soon on business, but I've asked him to contact H. Should you be there too, he knows to be discreet and act as if he doesn't know you. I know subtlety isn't one of his strong points, but I've coached him, I promise! Please don't feel obligated to meet with him, but I won't pretend it wouldn't reassure me to know he's seen you alive and well.
Despite everything that's happening, I really hope you've found some happiness with H. You truly deserve to be happy, please believe that. I know you can't write back, I wouldn't want you to risk yourself in doing so, but perhaps, someday soon, we'll be able to see each other again, and you can tell Sir Pounce-A-Lot and I about him and all the mad and probably dangerous happenings you've got up to.
I'll write again soon, I promise.
Love E
"She calls King Alistair 'The Ball and Chain'?" Garrett remarked, unable to hide a laugh, which Anders echoed.
"It's a joke between them. According to one of her earliest letters, some noble referred to her as Alistair's ball and chain once, and while I'm sure that man was hardly popular for demeaning her, I think they both found it very funny. And it keeps the letters a little vaguer should they get intercepted."
Garrett's eyes flicked over the note again, before handing it back to Anders. "So, we really are getting royal visit sometime soon. Let's hope Meredith doesn't get wind of it."
Raising his eyebrows in agreement, Anders sighed, "Yes, I imagine the Archdemon would seem timid in comparison to her." He placed all the letters back in the box and slid it under the bed. He didn't want to keep it hidden anymore, but having it in plain sight was still unwise.
Anders settled back into Garrett's arms, and soon the two of them were laying down together, tangled up in each other's limbs with Anders' head tucked under Garrett's chin once again. Perhaps he did miss Ferelden, but this was where he belonged. Wherever Garrett was.
"She's right, you know," Garrett said after a while. "About there being something big coming. I think half of Thedas knows it too."
He stayed lying calmly in Garrett's embrace, but Anders' jaw had tensed. "... It's going to happen here. I don't know when." His voice was a little muffled, a little... harder than usual. "Everyone's eyes are on Kirkwall, on Meredith. That's probably why Alistair is coming here. Something has to change, someone has to do something before she takes down all of us."
"I know, love, I do." Another kiss was pressed to Ander's soft hair. "But, despite what everyone in Kirkwall seems to think, we don't have to be responsible for everything in this city."
Anders laughed quietly (though it sounded a lot like a sigh) and cuddled in closer to his partner. "Well, it's not happening tonight. Nothing in the world could make me move from you tonight," he promised, leaning up to capture Garrett's lips in a kiss. "I love you. For always, I love you. You're my bright light."
Their lips met again, both smiling into the kiss. "I love you too. I'm with you."
So lost were they in each other, that they knew no trace of the red-headed archer delivering a letter on behalf of her and Anders' mutual friend. They didn't notice the envelope slide through the smallest gap in the window panes and fall gracefully to the carpet, the ink reading 'From Sir Pounce-A-Lot' glinting ever so slightly in the candlelight.
But that didn't matter. Anders could find it tomorrow, for both him and Garrett to read. Together.