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diluc hasn’t celebrated his birthday in years.
not since his eighteenth birthday, since he lost his father and brother on the same day. his birthday serves as a more of a bitter reminder of the losses he’s faced and everything he failed to do than anything else. he avoids thinking about it too much if he can.
every year when his birthday comes closer he has to ignore the looks the knights who know what happened that day give him. he ignores how jean looks like she wants to say something to him, yet always seems to hesitate at the last moment. he ignores how kaeya seems to go easier on him, doesn’t try to get on his nerves quite as much. their pity is unwanted and unnecessary.
he knows this time of year is hard for kaeya too, even though he always tries to act as if it isn’t. estranged or not, he knows kaeya better than that. crepus was their father, and they are still brothers despite everything. so if kaeya has noticed how diluc doesn’t cut him off from drinking as often as normal he’s neglected to mention it. it’s a quiet understanding that they both share.
the thirtieth of april is the fifth anniversary of his father’s death, and diluc doesn’t stop to consider it to be his twenty-third birthday.
zhongli waits patiently as diluc visits his father’s grave. diluc had told him it was fine if he joined him, but the archon had refused. the mixed bouquet in his hands of cecilias, calla lilies, and small lamp grass feels like a bunch of cinder blocks as he approaches the headstone.
there’s already a bouquet lying in front of it when diluc comes to a stop. kaeya must’ve stopped by earlier, before diluc had come by. considering the current early hour, it was safe to assume his brother hadn’t slept if he’d been here before diluc. he couldn’t blame him, he’d only been able to drift into a rather restless sleep after zhongli started talking about anything that came to mind in an attempt to aid him in falling asleep.
diluc sets the bouquet next to the other before stepping back. the knowledge of the casket underground being empty rests heavily in his mind. he tries not to think about it and instead reads the words written on the headstone as if he’d never seen them before.
crepus ragnvindr
xx/xx/xxxx - 04/30/xxxx
loving husband & father
shine true
he doesn’t stay long. there’s no use in loitering, his sentimentalities are kept firmly to himself. regardless, it’s not possible to return to the past. reflecting on what happened and what could’ve been benefits no one.
zhongli is in the same spot as he was when diluc left, arms crossed with a small meteor floating around him appearing to be in an almost meditative state. as diluc approaches zhongli opens his eyes and the meteor circling him dissipates. he gives a warm smile, offering a gloved hand. diluc feels himself relax ever so slightly as he accepts zhongli’s proposal.
zhongli does not pity nor pry like others tend to do. he knows diluc will share his thoughts if he desires to do such. diluc is grateful for the small nicety.
initially, he had told zhongli he didn’t need to come to mondstadt for his birthday. he’d told him that there was no true point in making the trip seeing as diluc neglected to celebrate it himself. however, at zhongli’s insistence — and apparently the insistence of zhongli’s boss — he ended up coming to mondstadt after all. it was admittedly nice to have his lover here with him, despite his initial reluctance.
“was there anywhere else you wished to visit today?” zhongli asks.
diluc thinks for a moment. he hadn’t planned to do anything else today, normally he would’ve worked as if it were a normal day but adelinde had insisted that he should at least take the day off and he hadn’t been able to tell her otherwise.
“no, not necessarily. i didn’t make plans for today.”
“then shall we return to the manor? or perhaps we could go elsewhere?”
diluc contemplates the options. returning to the manor would likely be the better choice, regardless of adelinde taking over his work for today he’s sure there’s still things that he needs to do, but… “where did you have in mind?”
zhongli smiles again, “a stroll around mondstadt would be rather nice, wouldn’t it? i have a location in mind.”
“i’ll follow your lead then.”
zhongli ends up taking him to starsnatch cliff, much to diluc’s confusion. the walk there had been rather enjoyable, they had walked in mostly comfortable silence, only breaking it to discuss few menial topics. surprisingly, there were no monsters about as there would usually be on the path to starsnatch cliff, and diluc, knowing how he can be at times, can’t help but wonder if zhongli had gotten someone to make sure the path would be clear.
“you know, most strolls don’t include rock climbing.” diluc chides and zhongli has the gall to look sheepish.
“i apologize. normally i would have selected an easier route, but there was not one available.” zhongli explains.
“it’s fine.” diluc replies, taking a moment to look out at the scenery. he’s never truly understood why starsnatch cliff is popular, though he can acknowledge that the view is rather nice. “although, you seem to know your way around mondstadt’s wilderness quite well though. why’d you choose here of all places in mondstadt?”
“mondstadt’s terrain has not changed much over the years. it is rather easy to navigate.” diluc looks at zhongli as he speaks, but the archon’s gaze is fixed ahead of them. “and as for the location, it was a suggestion from venti. he said this was a popular location for couples to visit.”
diluc shakes his head at that, reverting his gaze back towards the ocean, “i should’ve known he would suggest something like that, but i will admit this is rather nice.”
“that is relieving to hear,” zhongli says and a small movement from his direction catches diluc’s attention. “oh, and — this is for you.”
confused, diluc turns to face zhongli fully. he’s holding out a box far too fancy to mistake for anything but what it undoubtedly is. diluc accepts the box, eyes fixed on the carefully tied ribbon holding it shut.
“you really didn’t have to…” diluc replies, furrowing his brows and looking up at zhongli.
“i know, but i wished to.” the smile zhongli offers is so genuine and diluc isn’t sure how to respond, “while i am aware of your unique disposition when it comes to your birthday, you have such a short lifespan in comparison to myself. i do wish to spend many more years with you, but life is unfortunately rather unpredictable. i shall take what opportunities come to me, and if that is something as amicable as giving you a gift on your birthday then there shall be no complaints from me.”
“all right, i understand.” diluc says, carefully untying the intricate bow around the box, “i doubt i could convince you otherwise, seeing how adamant you were about coming to mondstadt.”
with the bow out of the way, diluc carefully removes the lid of the box. inside lies a dried glaze lily, carefully encased in plastic, and below that lies a small framed drawing depicting a dragon and a phoenix.
“this is…”
“the glaze lily is one that came into bloom on the day you were born. it was admittedly difficult to come across but i managed.” zhongli carefully explains.
“and the artwork?” diluc asks.
“i have told you of the meaning behind the dragon and phoenix before, this is simply one way of reminding you. after all, you are my phoenix.”
it never fails to catch diluc off guard with how unabashedly and unashamed zhongli could say these things. he says them with such certainty and confidence, like he could never regret the words he chooses to say.
“you are too much sometimes.” diluc shakes his head, but he can’t deny the happiness he feels. even on a day such as today.
zhongli laughs, and it is like a blessing from celestia. “there is one more thing i would like to give you.” zhongli says, hand disappearing into the pocket of his coat. diluc watches carefully as zhongli pulls out a small, nondescript box. he opens it, revealing a ring with what appears to be cor lapis embellishing it.
“i came across two incredibly similar pieces of cor lapis awhile back, and for a while i did not know what i should do with them,” zhongli explains, closing the box and gently reaching for one of diluc’s hands, “but with your birthday approaching i thought of the idea of using them in jewelry. luckily, i have an acquaintance who works as a jeweler who was willing to take on a commission on such short notice.”
he removes the glove with such gentleness, like diluc would break if he was to use too much force. he tucks the glove away to get it out of the way before reopening the box, extracting the ring. the box is tucked away like the glove before he slides the ring onto diluc’s finger. the fondness in his smile, his expression, fills diluc with warmth.
“it looks lovely on you.” zhongli says.
“it matches your eyes.” diluc replies.
zhongli laughs again, “yes, i suppose it does.”
diluc looks at the ring. he’s typically not one for jewelry such as this, but he thinks he can make an exception.
“you mentioned a second one. may i see it?”
“of course.” zhongli reaches into his pocket, pulling out the second ring. diluc takes it and takes one of zhongli’s hands. he repeats the process of removing one of his gloves and placing the ring upon his finger as zhongli did to him a mere moment ago.
“there. now we match.” diluc says.
“we do indeed.” zhongli replies.
they stand in silence for a moment, simply relishing in each other’s presence. it’s a comforting silence, and diluc is silently thankful for it. he had not expected anything close to this, but as time passes he finds he doesn’t mind it.
“diluc,” zhongli starts, pulling diluc from his thoughts, “i do hope you know i don’t intend to have you forget your father by doing this.”
“i know.”
“good, i’m glad. perhaps this is a bit selfish of me but i believe today should not only serve as the anniversary of your father’s passing, but as a celebration of your life, as it was in the past. you need not forget him, but you could remember his life while also celebrating your own. perhaps in the years to come you could see it as such.”
diluc sighs, a smile unwillingly making its way to his face. zhongli really is a good man. diluc isn’t fully sure he deserves the kindness the archon shows him, but he is grateful for it nonetheless.
“like you said, my life is short compared to yours. we’ll see what the future holds.”
diluc hasn’t celebrated his birthday in years —
zhongli pulls him in to give him a kiss that is much too chaste for his liking.
— but perhaps in the right company that could change.