Work Text:
Awmandude :
HELP!!! I think my roommate thinks I’m trying to kill him.
I (20m) recently got a new roommate (20 m also), I am 6’4 and have some muscle mass, but not enough that it should be intimidating. The scariest part is probably my eyes because I have tattooed scleras, but I’m super friendly. Anyway, whenever I try to do anything nice like cook or talk to him he flinches or watches me get the food and makes sure I didn’t add anything and even then he just kinda pokes at the food and pretends to eat it. What can I do to help him feel at ease?
Ponk wasn’t scared of many things, mainly spiders, heights, and his new roommate Sam. Sam was tall, around 6’4, looked like he could punt Ponk in an instant, had these creepy green eyes with dyed black scleras and was always wearing a damn half ventilator mask. All in all, a scary person to see first thing in the morning as you attempt to rush to your first class. Sam didn’t seem too mean, he made Ponk food sometimes, seemed genuinely agreeable and was extremely helpful when Ponk’s computer just decided it wanted to give up on him, but Ponk couldn’t shove aside the fact that he thinks Sam is trying to kill him. I mean, Sam is this powerhouse of a man, he’s attractive and could probably land ladies, but Ponk is always home. And if he’s not home, Sam is usually in his own classes (he assumes) making it extremely hard for Sam to get any alone time. Ponk doesn’t know Sam or his temperament, but judging by outward appearances (which he knows he shouldn’t do, but screw it) Sam looks like the type that would murder you for asking for a pencil.
Replying to HELP!!!
FoolsGold_:
Have you tried asking to hang out, maybe with friends?
Ponk was terrified. If he thought he couldn’t be more afraid of Sam he was dead wrong. Ponk thought it was just Sam that was scary, maybe his friends were more subdued and cool? NOPE. Ponk now had the man he suspected was currently attempting murder and a pissed off god looking guy standing in the middle of the living room, talking about architecture and computers like it’s the recent weather update.
Mr. Greek god was tall, around 6’8 and looked strong enough to level a building with a punch. He looked like those assholes at gyms that hog the weight benches (not like Ponk was using them, but it’s the thought that counts) just so they can look cool bench pressing way over what any reasonable person would be able to. Sam turned to Ponk, who was standing and gawking at Mr.Greek god beside him, before looking back at his friend.
“Oh, Ponk, meet Foolish. Foolish, this is Ponk, the roommate I was telling you about.”
Foolish nodded curtly in Ponk’s direction before asking if they were ready to go, Ponk then noticed their gym wear (and the fact Sam had exchanged his usual heavy duty mask for a medical grade one). Sam agreed, before turning to Ponk, still dressed in his pajamas, and asked, “Oh, do you want to come with us? We’re going to the gym and then maybe to the nearby smoothie shop.” Ponk shook his head, replying with some iteration of “No thanks, wouldn’t want to make you wait.” Before heading back in his room to really rethink his decision to not just room with George.
Replying to HELP!!! xXbadboyXx:
What makes you so scary to him? I’m sure if you just talk he’ll warm up to you.
Ponk was getting increasingly more suspicious of Sam. He had attempted to talk to Ponk on more occasions than he had the entire first semester, which put a weird taste in his mouth (or maybe that was the fact he drank lemonade right after brushing his teeth).
“This is weird, considering we’ve been roommates for over a semester by now, but I don’t even know what you’re majoring in,” Sam said one day as Ponk attempted to write his paper in the living room, cursing the wifi in his room fkr not working.
“I’m going into music production.” He replied, attempting to get the picture on his GODDAMN MICROSOFT WORD DOCUMENT TO STOP FUCKING EVERYTHING UP. Sam oohed, proceeding to ask more questions Ponk had heard millions of times before.
“Ooh, you sing?”
“No, I rap.”
“That’s really cool, do you make your own beats?”
“Sometimes.”
“Is it fun?”
“I guess.”
“Have you published any music?”
“No, I don’t know if I plan to.”
“Then why music?”
Ponk shrugged, before letting out a sigh of relief and the photo finally stopped making the document look like it was made by a 5th grader, before closing the top. Ponk froze, before realizing what he did.
He forgot to save.
Replying to HELP!!!
Slumber :
Maybe let your friends vouch for you? Idk.
Ponk was out of his comfort zone. He had been dragged to the nearby gym to do yoga with George, before leaving once he realized when George meant hot yoga he meant HOT yoga. Ponk sighed, watching the people workout before hearing a voice behind him.
“Hey, you’re Ponk, right?”
It was Foolish, Sam’s incredibly tall, and incredibly terrifying friend. Ponk could now see that Foolish’s teeth were filed down to look like shark teeth, enhancing the terrifying energy he already emitted. This time though, Foolish looked a lot more confident, and was being very friendly.
“Uh, yeah, I’m Ponk. Hey Foolish.”
Foolish’s smile widened, as he cheered to himself.
“I was right! I’m surprised you remember me!”
“ It’s kind of hard to forget a 6’8 buff ass Adonis standing in your living room.” Ponk thought deciding to go with the nicer option, “I mean, with your name you’re pretty hard to forget.”
The taller of the two let out a loud laugh, slapping Ponk on the back, almost knocking the air out of his lungs, before asking if Ponk wanted to work out with him. Ponk thought for a moment, he had three options; wait for George to get out of hot yoga outside, not working out like a slacker; go back in the room with George and pray to Oogway to survive, or work out with Foolish (and maybe learn more about his scary roommate). Ponk chose the last option, choosing to spend time with Foolish. He seemed nice enough, and Ponk could use the work out.
Ponk had learned that despite looking like he could crush Ponk’s skull with his bare hands, Foolish was extremely nice. He was super big on self improvement and working on yourself, even going as far as to be a personal workout coach.
“I actually work here, I’m off today but it’s my personal workout day!” Foolish announced, smiling at Ponk. Ponk nodded, before feeling the need to ask.
“So, why working out?”
“It boosts happiness and is great for general health. And it adds the benefit of being able to lift all my friends up!”
Ponk laughed softly, finding the way Foolish was so caring and friendly adorable, Ponk could see how he could befriend people. Ponk left the gym with a new friend’s phone number and a better look into Sam.
Replying to HELP!!!
BONK :
Be straight up with him, ask him.
So apparently Ponk wasn’t being as secretive about his assumed roommates murder attempts. Sam that morning had straight up asked him “Why do you think I’m trying to kill you?”
Ponk had froze, attempted to laugh it off, and joke around, before admitting that yes, he did in fact think that Sam was trying to kill him. Sam laughed loudly for a moment, before simply taking off his mask (seeing as that was part of why Ponk was afraid of him) showing that, aside from a few scars around his mouth, he looked incredibly normal, smiling widely.
“See, I’m not as scary as I look!” Sam’s smile was cute, lopsided with lightly crooked teeth, his scars revealing the corner of his mouth at all times.
God Ponk wanted to kiss him.
“What?”
“What?”
What.
Oh god Ponk had said that out loud. It wasn’t a huge thing to Ponk, sure he thought Sam was cute, and he seemed nice when he wasn’t afraid that Sam was going to try to smother him in his sleep, but he wasn’t supposed to SAY anything out loud.
“Ponkie… do you have a crush on me?” Sam cooed, before laughing.
“Who the fuck you calling ‘Ponkie’? And even if I did it’s none of your business.”
“I like you too Ponk, that’s honestly why I was so concerned about the fact you thought I wanted to kill you.” Sam replied, patting Ponk on the shoulder, as if he just said goodnight. Ponk pulled him down for a kiss, before releasing him when they both required air.
“How’s that for trusting you not to kill me?” Ponk asked rolling his eyes as Sam responded, “I dunno, seemed kinda scared that time, might want to try again,” before pulling Sam down for another.
Update on HELP!!!
Awmandude:
Update: He did think I was trying to kill him, now he is trying to smother me with pillows for stealing the blanket during our movie date. We are boyfriends now, thank you Essempy Uni help forum.