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Rex knew Cody would need some time to settle into life post-Empire. Luke graciously accepted Cody as another one of the strays he’d collected on Yavin IV. Rex had hoped to re-introduce Cody to Ahsoka, but their fearless Commander Tano had slunk off planet on another super-secret mission. Oh well. Rex would forever cherish the blank look on Cody’s face when he finally met Micro Master Yoda.
After getting Cody settled in the room next to Rex’s, Rex brought Cody over to his quarters to show him the work on the clone colony on Cor-3.
Cody leaned on the back of Rex’s chair and studied the maps and readouts of the planet. “Looks stable enough. Good soil, plenty of sun and rain, and not too many predators. You’ll want to set up the initial camp close to water.”
Rex nodded. “I appreciate all of your insights. But I asked you to my room for another reason.”
“Oh really?” Cody raised an eyebrow.
Rex pulled out a bottle of cider from his desk drawer. “We have some catching up to do.”
Three drinks later, Rex leaned heavily on the edge of the table. He filled Cody’s cup again. Cody didn’t immediately drink. He stared into the amber depths of his cup.
“Do you remember during our training on Kamino when Sunny put hair dye in Fox’s shampoo?”
Rex laughed. “He had red hair for weeks. Looked like a kriffing parrot.”
Cody snickered into his cup. “We got older, but we never got smarter, did we? There were plenty of pranks even during missions.”
“Hevy once filled my boots with jelly during a raid,” Rex remembered.
Cody snorted. “Waxer snuck a loth cat aboard the Negotiator and stuck it in Boil’s locker. The kriffing thing nearly scratched Boil’s eye out.”
“Amateurs,” Rex laughed. “Fives put a rock lizard in Dogma’s helmet one time. Dogma actually put it on his head before he noticed.”
Cody laughed so hard he nearly spilled his drink. He wiped the tears from his eyes.
“Do you remember the prank war between Ghost Company and the 501st?” Cody asked. “We got you good on Pasaana.”
Rex scoffed. “Maybe, but we definitely got you more times than you got us.”
“Are you sure?” Cody raised an eyebrow. “Not how I remember it.”
Rex took a gulp of his drink. “Those were the days.”
“Some days I miss it,” Cody nodded.
“Of course,” Rex said sharply. “It would be stupid to revive old grudges. When it’s only the two of us left.”
“Stupid,” Cody echoed.
Rex glowered. “So, we agree, no stupid high jinx.”
“Very stupid,” Cody nodded.
“Right.” They both drank. Rex rolled his empty cup between his hands. Cody studied the table in front of him.
“Well,” Cody stood suddenly. “I’m off to bed.”
Rex looked incredulously at the half empty bottle on the table. “You don’t want another drink?”
Cody shook his head. He wobbled slightly. “Stuff to do. Sleep. Sleep to do.”
Cody saluted and left the room with a tilt to his step.
Rex watched his vod go with narrowed eyes. Oh, Rex saw through that drunk act. He and Cody used to drink two bottles between them before they’d call it quits when they were on leave. No, Cody was planning something. Something stupid. Well, he wouldn’t get Rex that easy. It was on.
The best defense was a good offense, Rex decided. He woke up the next morning with a plan to get Cody before Cody could get him.
Din caught Rex in the hallway with a bucket of paint making his way to Cody’s room. Rex tried to hide the bucket, but Din’s head already tipped in question.
“It’s nothing,” Rex squeaked.
Din nodded. “Cody’s with Luke in the garden. It would be a shame if the front door got stuck again. They’d have to stay out there at least another fifteen minutes fixing it.”
Rex squinted at Din. “That would be very unfortunate,” he said slowly.
Din nodded and turned on his heel. His swishing cloak followed him down the hall. Rex watched him go in bafflement. He looked down at his bucket of paint. Right, clock’s ticking. Hope you like all your furniture bright pink, Cody.
“Rex,” Cody shoved the door to Rex’s room open. Rex looked up innocently from the trade agreements he was putting together for Cor-3.
Cody glowered. “We agreed no pranks.”
“Of course we did,” Rex nodded. He widened his eyes to show he knew nothing about any pink furniture. Nothing whatsoever. Nada. Zilch.
Cody jabbed a finger at Rex. “You shot first.”
“Whatever you say, commander,” Rex batted his eyelashes just to annoy Cody.
Cody came to Rex’s room the next day to work on Cor-3 plans together. Cody brought two mugs of caf with him. Rex ignored the cup Cody offered him and stole the one Cody had made for himself.
Cody squawked, but Rex ignored him. He took a smug swig.
Rex’s tongue shriveled in his mouth. The caf tasted like pure seawater. Rex’s eyes watered. He refused to cough or gag in front of Cody. He swallowed hard.
“Serves you right,” Cody smirked. “You shouldn’t be so suspicious.” He took a chug of his own perfectly normal caf.
Rex lived in fear of any chair he hadn’t thoroughly examined. If so much as a single screw looked wonky, he refused to sit. Rex started wearing his helmet to walk under doorways. Cody had always been partial to putting buckets over doors.
Rex basked in the shriek that came from Cody’s room. The feathers had been a stroke of genius.
Rex sat at his desk and started typing up his document for the Senator of Naboo. He’d gotten a fair way through his file before he realised his mistake.
Every time Rex had typed the word ‘clone’, it had been replaced with ‘Them Funky Boyz’. He was currently requesting aid on behalf of Them Funky Boyz to create their own Funky Boyz colony.
“Cody!” Rex roared.
Cody appeared as though summoned at Rex’s open door. He leaned casually against the frame. “Yes?”
Rex scowled. “This is childish.”
Cody kept his face straight, but his eyes sparkled. “You want a truce?”
Rex snarled. He would not admit defeat. He would have Cody begging for mercy by the time Rex was through.
Cody shrugged. “You shot first,” he reminded Rex.
Rex came back to his room after dinner to all of his furniture floating in circles around the ceiling. Rex’s mouth dropped open.
Rex found Luke meditating with Master Yoda’s Offspring in his lap. Luke’s serene face framed by his fanned blond hair gave away nothing. Rex couldn’t believe Cody had managed to rope the Jedi into their game.
“Jedi powers are cheating,” Rex said.
Luke hummed and blinked open his eyes. He had the innocent puppy look down to a science. Rex almost doubted himself for a second.
“Did Cody bribe you?” Rex demanded. “How does one bribe a Jedi?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” Luke smoothed a hand over Mini Yoda’s soft head. The child’s face remained a picture of determined concentration. Rex narrowed his eyes. He assumed his furniture would continue pirouetting until Short stack Yoda finished his meditation.
Rex studied Luke. The Jedi watched Rex calmly. Rex decided he wouldn’t get anything out of Luke. If he’d learned anything about the Jedi, it was that Luke reveled in a little chaos every now and then. The school had enjoyed unusual peace and quiet for too long.
Rex stomped away. He’d sleep in Din’s ship if he had to tonight. No way did he want to wake up doing figure eights around the ceiling.
Bringing the Jedi into this was cheating. Rex was going to shred all Cody’s clothing for this. No, wait. He was going to replace all of Cody’s clothing with sequined leotards. See how he liked looking like a disco ball.
Din surprised Rex by approaching him first.
“I want in,” Din said.
Rex had become increasingly paranoid in the last couple days. He squinted at Din’s visor. “Why?”
“Luke let Grogu help with the last joke.”
Rex held back a snicker. “The Little Grub thinks Luke is cooler than you?”
The sigh that came through Din’s vocoder echoed from the depths of his soul.
Aha. Cody had made it personal. Bad move, Cody. Now you’ll have to face the wrath of the Mand’alor.
Din pulled out the big guns. Literally. He unloaded his impressive weapons cache across one of the tables in the kitchen after the baby jedis had gone to bed. Then Rex invited Cody to have a drink in the neutral territory of the kitchen with him. Cody agreed.
All clones liked weapons, Cody and Rex included. As soon as Cody walked through the door, his eyes glued on the blasters, grenades, knives, vibroblades, and stacks of things Rex couldn’t even name.
Cody reached for one of the cartridges next to the weapons.
“Don’t touch that,” Din said.
Cody withdrew his hand. “What is it?”
“Neural toxin,” Din answered. “It would kill you in seconds.” Rex couldn’t tell if he was joking. The blank visor gave away nothing.
“Come on,” Rex dragged Cody to the other end of the table. “Leave him alone.”
Rex poured Cody a glass of cider. He passed another glass along to Din, even though Rex knew he wouldn’t drink it.
“Well?” Rex asked after taking his first sip. “Are you ready to admit defeat?”
“Defeat?” Cody snorted. “You’re the one not sleeping in your room anymore.”
“Using the Jedi is cheating,” Rex insisted.
Cody smirked into his cup. “Sounds like you’re getting desperate.”
Rex glowered. “Let’s not talk about right now, okay? How’s the shipment for Cor-3 coming?”
“Slowly,” Cody set down his glass. “I have a new appreciation for General Kenobi’s skills.”
Cody’s gaze drifted back to Din’s weapons. “What’s that?” Cody pointed without touching to a small round silver globe like a marble.
“Explosive,” Din answered curtly. He had his hands full trying to re-wire a grenade.
“Should you really be doing that in here?” Cody asked.
Din shrugged. “If it goes off, it won’t matter if it’s here or a mile away. This thing’s a planet killer.”
“Then you definitely shouldn’t have it here,” Cody snapped.
“I know what I’m doing,” Din bit back.
A beeping noise snagged Rex’s attention.
“Oops,” Din mumbled.
The grenade in Din’s hands lit up red. The beeping coincided with the flash of red around the edges.
Cody scrambled to his feet. “Shut it off.”
“I’m trying,” Din wrestled with the grenade. “It’s not working.”
“What do we do?” Rex asked. He shot a frantic look down the hallway towards the baby jedis’ rooms. “Do we evacuate the kids?”
“It’s too late,” Din shook his head. The beeping intensified. “I need something cold.”
“Like what?” Rex asked.
“Something liquid,” Din answered.
Rex spread his hands in defeat.
Cody dove for the refrigeration machine. He grabbed a bottle of blue milk and came running back to the table. “Now what?”
“Pour it in a glass,” Din instructed.
Cody did. He passed the full cup to Din.
“Thank you.” Din calmly took the glass.
“Catch.” Din tossed the grenade to Cody.
Cody shrieked and caught the beeping grenade. Its frantic beep turned into a squeal. The sides cracked open with a pop. Sparkles exploded out of the grenade, coating Cody head to toe in gold glitter. Cody spluttered, frozen in shock.
Rex laughed so hard he had to grab the back of a chair for support. His sides ached. Cody spit a mouthful of glitter. Rex laughed harder.
“You,” Cody spluttered. He jabbed a finger at Din. “You. You’re in on this?”
Din slowly lifted the edge of his helmet and took a sip of blue milk.
Cody turned his murderous glare on Rex. It lost some of its vitriol when glazed in sparkles.
“This is revenge for using the Jedi,” Rex said between his giggles.
“You’ve just declared war,” Cody said.
“Bring it,” Rex shot back.
Cody grimaced. He made a dive for Rex. Rex saw him coming and scrambled out of glitter range. Cody vaulted over a chair, tackling Rex to the ground. Rex yelled in a mix of laughter and defeat. Cody smeared gold sparkles over Rex’s face. Rex managed to flip them and pin Cody to the floor. Cody took that as an invitation to wiggle as hard as possible, transferring glitter to Rex through every point of contact.
“Children,” Din stood over them wrestling on the floor.
That sounded like bold words from someone within hugging distance.
Din made a strategic retreat while Rex shoved Cody’s hands out of his hair.
Din joined Rex in his room the next night with his kid tucked into his arm. Rex looked up from the bubbles he carefully decanted into all of Cody’s bottles of hygiene products.
“Hey, Little Grub, tell us what Cody and Luke are planning next?” Rex asked. Master Yoda’s Wayward Son giggled. “Or maybe you can flip to our team. I have so many ideas that involve the Force. What do you say, kid? Want to help your dad and me?”
Din set the kid on the floor. Pocket Sized Yoda toddled straight for the bubbles. Rex plucked one of the stems and blew a string of bubbles over Munchkin Yoda’s head.
The kid chirped, mesmerised by the way the bubbles popped in his claws.
“What’s the point of all this?” Din asked, gesturing to Rex’s big plans.
“To teach a brother his place,” Rex ground out. He gave Din a toothy gin to show he was joking.
Din squatted next to Rex. “I mean, aren’t you spending a lot of time and energy on these pranks when you could be building your colony?”
Rex carefully set down the bubbles. “That’s exactly the point,” Rex explained. “Cody needs a distraction. I know this all looks childish, but Cody’s been through hell. And if I let him, he’ll work himself to the bone on the Cor-3 plans. You thought I was a workaholic, you should see Cody when he sinks his teeth in.”
Rex scrubbed a hand through his short hair. He grimaced at the residual glitter still clinging after three sonic showers. Little League Yoda babbled at the sight. Rex held out his hand for the child to inspect.
“We used to do this between stressful missions. It helps deal with the trauma.” Rex gave Din an appraising look. “Did your covert never play games to de-stress?”
Rex retracted his hand before Yoda the Subsequent could stick Rex’s fingers in his mouth.
Din shrugged. “I didn’t have a normal upbringing, even within the covert.”
“You didn’t join the games,” Rex clarified.
Din twisted his gloved fingers together. “I didn’t learn Mando’a fast enough to keep up with my peers for the first year or so. I started training late. I had lessons with the younger children.” He sighed. “The children my age had already decided I was too slow to play with them. And the younger children were too young for me to connect with them the same way.”
“You were alone.” Rex couldn’t quite fathom it. He’d been surrounded by brothers from the day of his birth. Even after the Empire stole his brothers away with Order 66, Rex still found himself flanked by likeminded people through the rebellion.
Din scooped up his kid and held him in his lap. His hands were gentle, and the weight of the child relaxed Din’s shoulders by increments.
Rex held out one of the cans of bubbles and Cody’s shampoo container. “Would you like to do the honours?”
Din stretched out a hand and took the containers from Rex. He poured the bubbles while keeping Pint Sized Yoda out of the liquid’s reach.
“When does the game end?” Din asked.
“When one of us admits defeat,” Rex answered.
Din hummed. “You both seem very stubborn.”
“Yep,” Rex agreed. He blew some more bubbles for Yoda the Runt’s enjoyment.
“Nobody’s supposed to get hurt, right?” Din asked.
Rex lowered the bubbles. “No. No one gets hurt. Why?”
Din sighed. “I guess the sinkhole’s not part of the game, then.”
It took Rex’s brain a whole minute to process that sentence.
“Kark me.”
“Cody, I am not kriffing with you,” Rex ground between his teeth. He pounded his fist against the door for the millionth time. “There is a karking sinkhole in the lawn, and I need your help.”
The door cracked open. A single suspicious eye peaked out. “This isn’t a distraction to get me out of my room?”
Din, who loomed behind Rex like the galaxy’s worst spectre, shoved the door open. Cody stumbled back, surprised by the force of the push. Din got in his face. The silver reflected Cody’s own eyes back. “Something opened a haar’chak pit right on the school’s front step. Help us fix it before a kid falls in.”
Cody sobered immediately. “Did you tell the Jedi?”
“We’re on our way to get him,” Rex confirmed. “Come on.”
Together they trekked down the hall to Luke’s room. Din pounded a fist on the door. Luke opened the door already strapping his lightsaber to his belt.
“I felt a disturbance,” Luke said. “Do we know what it is?”
“A karking sinkhole,” Rex spat out.
Luke blinked. “Oh. That’s new.” He looked down at his vey Jedi robes. Luke didn’t usually wear the black cape and tabard unless he was greeting diplomatic guests. “I guess I don’t need the lightsaber.”
“You never know,” Din growled. He turned on his heel. “Hurry up.”
He led them out to the front door of the school. The door opened to the cool night air. A breeze should have ruffled the grass. Instead, two paces off the front step the ground vanished.
Rex wanted to know Din’s definition of a sinkhole. This was an abyss to hell.
The hole was shaped perfectly round and extended to the edge of the gardens and down into utter black. Rex couldn’t see the bottom. Cody nudged a rock over the edge. They all listened for the clatter when it hit the bottom. It never came.
Din reached up and adjusted the filters on his helmet.
“What do you see?” Rex asked.
“Something’s moving down there,” Din answered.
Rex threw his hands up. “Of course there is.”
Luke piped up. “Does this remind anyone else of an exogorth pit?”
Oh hell no. Rex called foul. Not even the Force could bring him to face off against one of those karking space slugs.
“Those only live on asteroids,” Din reminded Luke.
Luke shrugged. “Lots of things move through space. Asteroids crash into planets. Maybe this thing travelled here ages ago.”
Din shook his head. “Exogorth’s need stellar energy fields to survive. It can’t be an exogorth.”
“Well then,” Luke clapped his hands together. “I guess we’ll have to just go down there and find out what it is.”
Rex hated every word of that sentence. Particularly the part about ‘we’. Rex would like to stay with his feet firmly up here, please.
Din placed his hands on his hips. “I have a jet pack on my ship.”
Of karking course he did.
The debate now turned to how Din would get across the pit to hell in order to reach his ship. Cody was still stuck in practical joke mode and suggested they just toss Din over the pit and Luke could levitate him to the other side with his Jedi powers. Luke was certifiably insane and agreed that might work.
Rex’s focus latched onto the movement at the bottom of the pit. Or not at the bottom. Making its way up the walls of the abyss.
“Hey,” Rex shoved Cody’s shoulder. “See that?”
As he pointed the thing got close enough for the light to touch it. Something round and silver skittered up the wall of the pit. It came closer, and Rex saw long metal arms skewering the rock to drag a massive metal body up out of the depths. Its legs undulated like a giant horrible beetle scuttling up towards them.
Then Cody’s hand fisted in the back of Rex’s shirt and yanked him back. Rex hit the dirt. The tank sized droid surged to the edge of the pit with a roar that shook the foundations of the school.
Rex reached for the blaster he’d stuffed into his belt. The droid’s head swiveled at the end of a long extension, like the neck of a snake. The droid peered down at each of them in turn. It raised one of six metal arms tapering to sharp treads.
The droid struck. Its foot crashed into the spot where Cody had stood only a second before.
Cody rolled and came up beside Rex. Rex grabbed his arm to keep him steady. They teetered together on the edge of the pit. Rex’s stomach flopped. He didn’t want to think how long they’d fall if they lost their footing.
Rex heard the distinct sound of a lightsaber igniting. A green glow washed over the droid’s shell. Luke stabbed at the droid’s head. It reared back. It braced two feet on the edge of the pit, right next to Cody and Rex.
The droid heaved its stout body up further out of the pit. It lifted its mechanical feet. The ground it had clung to crumbled. The ground under Cody’s feet. Rex snatched at Cody’s arms as Cody’s eyes widened.
“Kark!” Rex and Cody yelled at the same time.
Cody fell.
Rex’s grip on Cody’s arm dragged him down. Rex hit the ground hard with Cody’s arm clutched between both hands. Cody dangled from his grip over the edge of the pit.
The ridge of rock dug into Rex’s ribs.
“Hang on!” Rex shouted.
“No kidding,” Cody shot back.
The droid whirred above Rex’s head. Rex craned his neck to make sure the droid wasn’t about to stomp them to jelly.
Luke had managed to keep the droid from climbing any further out of the hole. His lightsaber flashed back and forth, but the scorch marks searing its hull hardly slowed it. Din knelt and shot his pistol methodically, aiming carefully for the sensors on the droid’s head. So far, it managed to evade the blaster bolts.
Rex refocused on gripping Cody’s hands between his. Rex’s back ached. His arms strained. Sweat poured down his face. It took every ounce of strength to keep holding onto Cody. Cody’s boots kicked at the open air. Rex met Cody’s scared brown eyes.
He just Cody back from the dead.
He couldn’t let Cody fall.
Force, please.
Not again.
Not for some karking clanker crawling out of a pit like Rex’s worst nightmares on re-run. Hell no.
Rex found a new reserve of strength in his anger. He pulled on Cody’s arms hard. His biceps screamed. His legs begged for mercy. He pulled harder. Rex dragged Cody up to the edge where Cody could get a footing and dig his boots in to help Rex haul himself up.
With one last heave, they rolled onto the grass. Cody’s wheezing echoed in Rex’s ears. Rex stared up at the night sky and let himself just breathe for a whole split second.
He slapped Cody’s heaving shoulder. “Let’s end this hunk of junk.”
Rex got to his feet.
Din and Luke had kept the droid pinned in place, but it continued to slash at them with its many metal legs. As Rex prepared to throw himself into the fight, the droid knocked Din’s pistol from his hands.
The droid towered over Din. Rex didn’t know how beskar would stand up against the sheer force of the droid’s legs.
Rex pulled his blaster from his belt and squeezed the trigger. The bolt pinged against the droid’s head, right next to its sensors. Its long neck swiveled in Rex’s direction.
“Kark!” Rex swore.
He shot again. The droid ducked the next blaster bolt. Then Cody’s familiar bulk joined Rex. Together, they laid down a wall of blaster plasma, effectively blinding the droid.
Out of the corner of Rex’s eye, he saw Din race forwards.
Din unleased the Darksaber. Rex’s eyes shied away from the blade’s unnatural form. The droid’s head turned towards the black saber. The sensors on its square head seemed drawn to the crackling void.
Rex took a wild shot for the droid’s sensors. It didn’t so much as flinch. Its whole focus remained consumed by the Darksaber in Din’s grasp. It hauled its bulky body closer to Din.
A shadow shot up straight behind the droid’s head. Din moved. Luke’s form hurtled down while Din slashed upwards. Twin blades of light and dark sliced through the droid’s neck, severing its head from the serpentine neck. The head toppled down into the pit. The body of the droid listed forwards and crashed into the ground.
Luke landed lightly on his feet and extinguished his lightsaber. In the absence of the green light, his grin looked ghoulish.
Din deactivated the Darksaber. Rex couldn’t deny how the hairs on the back of his neck settled once the void vanished back into the hilt.
Rex let loose a string of the worst curses he knew. He holstered his blaster.
Rex kicked the droid in the side of its smoking body. “I hate clankers.”
“What do we do with it?” Cody asked.
Din put a boot against the droid’s side and pushed. The metal carcass rolled over and dropped into the pit. Well, that solved that.
Luke stared down at the pit. “Do you think it was the only one?”
“Kark, I hope so,” Rex spat.
“Well,” Luke scrubbed a hand over his face. “I guess we better start filling this hole.”
Rex shot him an incredulous look. “You want to just fill it in and move on?”
“What else are we supposed to do?” Luke asked with more weariness than Rex had seen in the Jedi before.
“I guess we’re going to be busy for a while,” Cody said. He extended a hand. “Truce on the prank war?”
Rex took his hand with relief. “Truce.”
Rex started to pull his hand away. Cody held firm. “But I won, just so we’re clear.”
“Like hell!” Rex squawked.
“I definitely got you more times than you got me,” Cody insisted.
“I will shove you in this sinkhole, I swear to the Force I will.”
“Children,” Din sing songed. “Can we get to work please? I’d like this hole filled before my infant son decides to explore the bottom first hand.”