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Forget about fairy tales, make no allusion to any kind of happily ever after - one would probably find something dirty to say about Prince Charming and the other would stoically ask where exactly is said Prince because he would very much like to meet him indeed. Not your average "ride at sunset on a unicorn" couple.
Under the influence of alcohol, one might concede that theirs is a unique story. The other would probably snort sarcastically, rime cheesy with bendy but still manage to wink in agreement.
They had met on set, in character, the two kings were supposed to be alive in their mutual hatred and yes that would be far easier to play if they didn't have time to fraternise. Fair enough.
Their instant chemistry was the one thing no one had anticipated. From the very moment the met, the air became charged with electric intensity, like the eerie calm before a storm. And it might very well have been a storm, because somehow their lives would end up irrevocably changed. The sparks turned right away into a raging fire.
******
"Look at him with his little pointy crown!"
Richard was finishing up his cup of tea, intensely watching the tall American that had walked into the set the day before and stolen every heart with his silly laugh and delighted witticisms.
At that point in time, Richard was trying to process that little something that had just made its way up to his brain, and was, with each new glance at the guy, slowly and shamelessly redecorating the place.
If he was being perfectly rational, Richard had managed to stay focused for a good five minutes before the man came to offer a handshake, introducing himself as Lee, or Thranduil, but be aware that I'm gonna make your life miserable you filthy dwarf. And up his throne he went laughing like a six-year-old.
Richard stood there, quite fascinated but certainly not ready to admit that to himself. Too many questions, too many doubts, too dangerous. Back the fuck away from the crime scene. Or smile like a crazy man, whatever makes you feel better.
"Alright boys, that's a wrap for now", came a voice from the darkly lit back room.
Orlando cheered triumphantly and reminded everyone that to celebrate the capture of the dwarves, they were all solemnly invited to share a drink in his trailer that night, first come first served. Please bring food. Dwarves must be accompanied by an adult.
Under a clamour of insults and outrages somewhat lessened by a series of claps on the back and promises to be on time to the party, Richard smiled affectionately at his new and very multicultural extended family. The newcomer chose that very moment to catch his eyes and ask, half-insecure, half-challenging, a very daring "see you tonight?"
God the man has game.
That's when the spark came alive with new possibilities, a desire that mightily grabbed his guts and ordered him to go to the damn party and enjoy himself, come what may.
"Yeah sure Lee, I'll see you there", answered our man, his voice almost confident.
This is gonna be good, said that little voice in his head.
Shut up, ordered Richard, not quite certain he was still sane.
That night, Lee greeted Richard with a glass of red wine as soon as he stepped into the trailer, which was alive with music, laughter and happy chatters. And maybe just a tad bit overcrowded.
"I figured you were a wine drinker."
"How ?" asked Richard taking the glass with a nod
"I don’t know, there’s an air about you", said Lee, his hand shaping the empty space around Rich’s silhouette. "Come, Ian has brought some weird local dish that you apparently have to try out if you want to blend in. Spoiler alert, it's not easy on the palate..."
They made their way to the table and Richard quickly agreed that they should indeed stay well away from Ian's discovery, his face after the first bite had been a thing of beauty, and Lee would certainly regret, months later, not to have had a camera ready to immortalise the moment.
Standing up in a corner speaking, they soon realised that the other was oddly similar to them in oh so many ways, and that bubble of newly-found camaraderie only got busted a few hours later when Evangeline motioned for Lee to come over.
"I'll go bother Evie now, I don't want to smother you after all, we've basically just met..."
Richard was at a loss for words so he simply smiled. He would have very much liked to be smothered thank you.
His eyes tracked Graham and Jed, absorbed in a really serious conversation about a random topic that would probably be labelled as "completely unimportant" was it not for their two hyperactive brains. So Richard joined them, always happy to play the humorous English sidekick to Graham's pure Scott. In between "huh huhs" and "hah hahs", he started wondering just how and when Lee had taken possession of his mind, if there was anything he could do about it or rather if he ever wanted to go back to a world where said giant goofball hadn't shamelessly stepped into his life.
At an hour he deemed reasonable, he made his way to the exit, thanking Orlando on his way out and asking him to please say goodbye to his dad. Which Orlando somehow found hilarious and so Richard ended up clapping on the man's back to prevent him from passing out, the others too busy snapping pictures and commenting on "the day Thorin saved Legolas from a certain death".
Once assured that Orlando would in fact be alright, Richard stepped outside of the trailer and took a big gulp of fresh air. His traitorous eyes immediately landed on the human shape, gracefully slumped into a lounging chair a few feet away in the parking lot, beer in hand. Lee. Some part of his brain piped up with a red flag warning and he unilaterally told it to fuck off, his internal compass was pointing to Lee, who was he to go the other way around?
"Lee, everything's alright?"
Lee turned his head towards the intruder and blinked twice before regaining focus.
"Hey Richard, I was just taking in the kiwi night sky, I think I've never seen that many stars."
"Mind if I join in?"
"Help yourself Thorin."
"Already sick of everyone?"
"Not at all, I had initially just planned to clear my mind a bit but then I saw the stars..."
Easily securing an abandoned chair, Richard sat down next to Lee and looked at the sky and the myriad of celestial bodies keeping company to the dark blue immensity.
"Do you reckon the North Star still points to the north in this part of the world?"
"Let me stop you right here, you do not want to jump into this train of thought, you'll end up half-crazy..."
"Who tells you I'm not already?"
"You somehow seem much more balanced than some of our fellow cast members... Don't ask me to name names but it starts with Mar and ends with In."
"I'll be sure to remember that."
"Please do, you can thank me later."
"It's beautiful isn't it?"
"Yes, yes it is."
The next couple of hours were spent stargazing, talking about their lives and experiences, sharing random trivia about Tolkien and good old Richard III and just taking in each other's presence. The night was just on the right side of cool and, waving here and there at people leaving Orlando's trailer, the moon slowly became their only witness.
"You know we shouldn’t be fraternizing."
"I promise not to say anything."
"It's a small community, everyone knows everything..."
"Then let's make it harder for them to guess that Thorin and Thranduil are buddying up on their free time."
"Lee?"
"Yeah?"
"I just thought you should know that it usually takes me way longer to be comfortable around a new person in my life."
"Yeah? Aren't we lucky then?"
The wink accompanying that last sentence slapped Richard hard in the face, and made him realise there was something potentially as vital as air there, embodied in this giant smiley face of a man.
******
After that night, they took to spending as much time as possible together, not a small challenge considering the fucked up filming schedules they'd got.
It was a friendship. A real one. Before Lee, Richard had borne his solitude stoically enough, without realising quite how alone he was. And supposedly, if they had met under normal circumstances, they probably wouldn't have become quite so inseparable so fast. But New Zealand was far from normal and they soon reached that understanding that what they had found in the other was very special, without quite admitting it to either themselves or the other.
It came as no surprise then when Richard volunteered to go and pick Lee up at the airport when he made it back to New Zealand after his first break and Lee did not look overly shocked to find Richard there waiting for him with a pink sign reading "Queen of the Green Wood".
Delighted would be the appropriate word.
"Not enough sparkles on the sign Rich!"
"I was afraid people would judge me..."
"I had forgotten how incredibly vain you are."
"Welcome back oh pain in my ass."
"Why so affectionate."
After a hug that lasted a big too long, but was rendered manly enough thanks to three quick pats on the back, Richard couldn't help but noticing that Lee looked tired. More so than he should after a crazy long flight. Tired from extreme exhaustion and over-thinking. A worrying kind of tired that Richard evidently had to address right away.
"Lee, you look positively radiant..."
"Yeah I know, I've had a rough couple of weeks."
"Here, let me take your suitcase."
"How very gallant, you should know I don't have any change on me to tip you."
"I'll put that on the long list of things you owe me, right after my cardigan."
"That was an accident."
"Yeah sure. Here's the car, jump in your highness."
The drive back to Evie's was all about catching up to more concrete extents than what they had done via texts, emails and phone calls. Realising much later that he had done most of the talking, Richard filled Lee up on latest gossip, new story developments, place to check while in NZ, and "I've discovered the most remarkable pinot noir, you'll have to try it out and see for yourself, I can anticipate your gratefulness.. Lee?"
"Huh?"
"What's really going on Lee ? You seem off."
"I don't really feel like going back to Evie's straight away, would you mind if we stopped for a drink first?"
That was in itself an unusual request for Lee who loved Evie and her family to death. Apart from Richard, she was the person he spent most of his time with. So Richard, activating the emergency mode, drove to their favourite pub in Welly and parked the car, ordered their drinks and walked Lee to a quiet booth.
"Now tell me what's going on."
He definitely wasn't expecting such a straightforward answer.
"Carter and I broke up."
There was the problem, Lee and Richard had never talked about their private lives before, except for a few allusions. They seemed perfectly content avoiding the issue, and slaloming like pros around the pink elephant in the room. Damn they were that close to naming the poor beast. So Lee bringing up quite bluntly that element of information was exciting. Or terrifying. Okay maybe a bit of both.
Richard would probably admit in front of a jury that yes he might have been aware of the existence of said Carter, he might even have asked his good friend Google for a bit more information, but only once or twice your honour. Carter frankly seemed like a real nice bloke and that didn't help justifying his unfounded resentment. He also knew Carter was not a girl with a boy's name either and that he and Lee had been pretty serious conjugal material. So he came up with a very socially appropriate "I'm sorry Lee. What happened?"
Quite honestly, he wasn't sure he wanted the answer to that question. In fact he was pretty sure he knew it already. Life happened man, and if life had decided it was time for Lee to be single again then he certainly didn't have anything to say about it.
"It's just... It was a mutual decision but it does not make it easier."
Key world : mutual. Keep on listening solemnly Richy boy.
"You get used to a person, you love them so much they become part of you and then things slowly start crumbling down, fading away and it's over, and you have to forget everything you've shared and go on with life as if nothing had happened."
"You don't have to, you just have to build new memories to decorate the new floor of the house."
"Yeah..."
Is it too soon to offer a shoulder to cry on? Lee is a dignified dude, he would never soak your shirt up with tears of desperation. Not that
you would mind terribly...
Shut up.
"Can I do anything for you buddy?"
"Yeah stop me from doing anything stupid."
As if...
"That I can do."
"What are you doing?"
"You're saying goodbye to that pint and I'm driving you to Evie's so you can drown your sorrows in her son's loud sobs."
"But..."
"No buts... come on, up you go."
"Rich", and there's this hand, large but delicate, resting on Richard's shoulder. A hand he would build a shrine to and devote daily prayers without thinking twice about it.
Richard draws in a slow breath and looks Lee in the eyes.
"Thank you for being my best friend."
And what can Richard answers to that?
"Always Lee, always."
So Richard naturally starts to freak a tiny bit out. Not the "I'm irrevocably attracted to my co-star who happens to be a man" freak out, no, he is already at ease with himself on those matters. Even though the co-star part might be going against everything he ever believed in.
No Rich is freaking out because of his newly found leexuality, and it's not like he could do anything about it, what with being a lead role in three of the biggest movies ever made, what with the attention his private life would get, what with his natural tendency to just avoid any complicated personal issue... So he freaks out alright, because he is damn well aware that Lee is A list material, as he himself is about to become. If people got wind of that, he would never hear the end of it and his career might not recover at all. At his age he couldn't rise again from a career kill, the only relevant thing had always been what he was presenting in terms of his art form, not what happened off screen, and he was terrified that would change.
So yeah Rich positively freaked out, because he knew himself, and what he felt towards Lee, and there was simply no way he could ever ignore it or go back to a simpler time. Absolutely not. He could either put it aside and walk past it twenty times a day and wave at it like the maniac he was becoming, or he could address it, which arose those legitimate freak out questions and made him hyperventilate. By the end of the night, he wasn't more advanced.
But for now he would keep pretending everything was just peachy with the object of his hyperventilation, and hopefully he would move on at some point. In a good five to ten years.
******
The beginning of the end came a few days later during one of those parties after a long week of shooting, running, being cold and too tired to properly function. They had affectionately dubbed it the "this is your captain speaking, dwarves and hobbit first, the ship shows all signs of going down", a life saving party if you wish.
There had been too much to drink, and people were more than happy to just let alcohol numb their brains and forget about real life. They sang, laughed, but most of all they clang to each other for support, like you turn to a brother in arms who knows what you're going trough and is the only one whose comfort you'll accept.
Promises of friendship, long hugs, happy dances, bad dramatic singing: those were the kind of scenes happening that night. Richard happily chat to anyone and everyone, but kept to his corner of the room, he just dealt with exhaustion in a different way. He certainly didn't mind being a witness of vows that were exchanged that night.
That is, until he saw him, well into Luke's personal space. The other man, significantly smaller, but still managing to make Lee look fragile. To Richard, that last thing was unforgivable. Luke was whispering something to Lee that made him laugh softly. Richard tried to blink, but the scene was the same when he opened his eyes again.
He couldn't hear a world of what they were saying, but that wasn't surprising. When Lee was in a room, he over-rode everything until Richard could only focus on his eyes, the way his nose pointed slightly to the right, that beauty mark on his ear and the tilt to his head that made him look like he was humming to himself.
An invisible hand got hold of his heart, pulled to take his vital organ out of his body and stamped it on the sticky floor.
The sensible thing to do would have been to at least take his eyes away from the scene and find someone to talk to. But Richard just couldn't quite bring himself to do that. He might even have turned white in the face because when Lee caught his eyes they went from happy to worried in the span of a second. Lee quickly took leave of Luke nodding to the man in obvious gratitude, his eyes never leaving Richard's. From the other side of the room, Lee then made his way through the crowd, people stepping out of his way unconsciously.
As Lee got closer and closer, Richard astonishment was replaced by resolve: he needed to get the hell out of there, he wasn't ready for the conversation he could see in Lee's eyes. And so, putting his glass on the first empty surface his hand could feel, he broke eye contact with Lee and walked away like a coward.
He definitely heard his name pronounced in that neat American drawl that usually would have made him drop everything to run to. Ignoring his heart screaming, he quickly made his way out of the room, not bothering to get his coat.
"Rich?" Lee called again as Richard was stepping onto the street looking left and right for a cab. And because luck was on his side, a solitary one stopped for him immediately, as happy to see him as he was to see it. Before Lee could close in on him, or say another word, he got in, his eyes turning towards Lee through the glass of the departing car and he saw the desperation of the man, the fear and lack of understanding in his eyes and the way his lips mouthed the word please. Richard drove off, leaving him there, standing alone in the middle of the street.
He should have known it wouldn't be that easy, Lee's determination was one of the character traits he most admired about the man.
So when he heard a soft knock on his trailer door, he just knew who was on the other side. He also knew that he had no choice but to face him.
They stood at the door for a few seconds that felt like minutes, one inside, the other mirroring him in the entrance. Both lost in their emotions. Until Lee, always the bigger man, decided that freezing on Richard's porch wasn't the way he would die.
"Rich..."
"You don't need to explain anything."
"But I do, and you know it."
"No, no you don't. What you do in private is no concern of me."
"Then why did you leave?"
"It's no concern of me but it doesn't mean I'll happily stand witness to it."
"And what did you witness exactly?"
"You know what I saw."
"No, no I don't."
"Lee..."
"Humour me. Tell me Rich, what did you see?"
"..."
"Let me tell you then, you saw us supporting each other, doing what friends do but..."
"I..."
"I'm not done yet, you weren't ready to talk earlier on, I'm not ready to hear you out now. Tell me Richard, who do you think you are to act that way? And here I thought you were worth more than this..."
"Lee..."
Shaking his head, disappointment oozing out of every pore of his body, Lee turned around and made to go. But Richard quickly grabbed his arm to drag him back into the trailer. And holding on to Lee's wrist like a lifeline, he started "I apologise for being a bastard. A jealous bastard. Because it wouldn't have bothered me if it was Martin's private bubble he had been invading. Hell I would have snapped a picture and even laughed about it. But Lee, it was you he was close to, and you looked so fragile... I just can't pretend it's not affecting me because all I've wanted to do recently was to tell you that if only you would ever let me, you would never have to be alone again. Lee all you saw was me losing control and I'm ashamed of it, I have no claim on you and that frightens me..."
He could not believe the words that were coming though his mouth. But it was too late to even think about regaining an ounce of dignity.
And so he closed his mouth, let go of Lee and stood there, motionless, barely breathing.
Lee was there, flesh and blood, just as rigid as he was. He saw resolve and resignation struggle on his face. And then Lee lifted a hand but stopped it short before it got to Richard. Closing his eyes, hurt apparent on his face, he whispered something, so low that it didn't get past Richard's ears until to was too late but definitely sounded like a "damn it Rich", quickly followed by a "I... I should probably just go."
And as much as it tore Richard's insides to hear that, he knew it was the sensible option, neither of them were thinking reasonably, so he nodded, sick in his stomach but saving face anyway.
Needless to say that neither of them slept much that night. Or the nights after.
******
By some kind of well timed fate twist they didn't cross path for a few days. And it should have made Richard feel better but he actually felt worse than he ever had. He missed Lee. Terribly. And so he clearly took to overcompensating that void in his heart by playing ping pong with Graham, death matches that would leave them both breathless, one of them always more satisfied than the other.
At lunch on the fourth day they finally found themselves in the same room, the big lunch tent that had been a crossroads of civilisations since they started filming the movies. At opposite sides of the big central table where dwarves, elves and Martin were sharing a meal, they locked stares and nodded, a hint of a relieved smile slowly lighting up both of their faces.
"What does grumpy over there think about it?", asked Martin.
"Huh?"
He had been lost in Lee's gaze, and couldn't remember for the life of him what everyone was talking about.
"Grumpy? Was that one of Snow White dwarves?"
A good humoured laugh started from Aidan and took hold of everyone. Richard threw a napkin at him, for good measure.
"Then Lee would definitely be Snow White", added Dean, always helpful.
"It goes without saying", assured Ian, seating himself right next to Lee, helping himself with a hand on his shoulder.
Lee grabbed a red apple, took a good healthy bite and like the grown up he was, stuck his tongue out in no particular direction. This was clearly a playground with no adult supervision.
Weirdly enough, the conversation managed to get back on track and at the end of the lunch, everyone scattered away to their respective duties. Everyone but our two wrecked souls.
Game on.
Richard was trying to find an innocent conversation starter (fried food, socks, the weather..) when Lee, in full costume, stood and walked to him. Putting two very resolute fists on the table, he bent over and announced "You and me, tonight, I'll come pick you up, please say yes. I never wanted there to be anything weird between us. "
And what could Richard say to that, to this soul that had come to mean the world to him?
"I would follow you into the very fires of Mordor Frodo."
"I swear your sassy side is not attractive Rich."
"You tell that to yourself."
When Lee squeezed Richard's shoulder before leaving, our man thought that things would maybe get better and a weight was lifted from his heavy heart.
******
That evening, Lee picked him up in his rental and they drove to the top of Mount Victoria in companionable silence, humming occasionally to embarrassing songs on the radio. Weather conditions were on Lee's side, it had been a beautiful day with a light breeze, the sunset would certainly be gorgeous. Once they had parked the car, they walked a bit to find a nice patch of grass to settle in on the hillside.
"I've been told it's one of the best spots in the city to take in the sunset."
"How very romantic of you."
"Shut up."
They managed to find a spot relatively concealed from prying eyes where they could relax while watching ferries sail into the harbour.
And eventually talk. If their hearts felt up to it.
Looking down, they could see the city centre buzzing with activity, people going home after work or stopping for a drink with colleagues, tourists snapping pictures and going in and out of Te Papa and kids playing in the parks.
Somehow, they didn't quite fit into any of those categories, "actors in need of a life changing heart-to-heart" wasn't so common.
Lee had brought a blanket and they made themselves comfortable as the sun began it's long way down, accentuating breathtaking landscapes, colours and shapes, details that would usually go unnoticed to the human eye.
The air was crisp and Lee had indulged in that orange monstrosity he called a beanie, answering to Richard's sceptical glance with a "Fuck off your fashion sense is not optimal either buddy". He had then proceeded to take a Thermos out of his backpack and offered a cup to Richard, bonus point for organizational skills.
"Why Mr Pace, is that wine?"
"It's your Pinot actually."
"Wow, how thoughtful of you."
"Take it as my peace offering."
"You think you can corrupt me with good wine..."
"I know it."
For a good ten minutes, they just sat there, immersing themselves in that particular vibe, sipping at their cups of wine. And then Lee, having finally worked up his courage, decided to take the big leap.
"I want you to know that I'm glad to have this in my life."
"This?"
"You, our friendship, what you have come to mean to me. You've grown to be one of these people I can't do without."
Richard rolled his eyes with a smile, quietly tracking a flock of colourful birds, wondering how on earth a place could be so blessed with such natural beauty. It was one of those moments you take a mental snapshot of, knowing very well that no picture could ever do it justice. He waited for Lee to go on, selfishly maybe, but he had already opened his heart before, to no avail. Unless...
Lee reached for his hand and softly grasped it, threading his long fingers through his and pressing their palms together.
"What you said the other night, I want you to know that I feel the same way, but... But I left because it was too much. I.. I didn't know how to process it Rich, I didn't want to fuck things up, and neither of us was acting reasonably."
"Yeah, that's the least we could say..."
"And I wanted to ask, tonight, now, is it too late?"
Looking down at their joined hands, hoping to somehow steady his suddenly racing heart, Richard wondered how Lee could honestly think it would ever be too late for him?
"God Lee... Don't let it spoil the moment but I might throw up from sheer relief."
The other chuckled, a smile spreading adorably across his ridiculously gorgeous face, "Call the press, this man is a true romantic".
"Look at you, it could never be too late, you're the most infuriatingly beautiful soul on this planet."
"You're a pretty neat human being yourself..."
Richard noticed at that very moment and without much surprise that their hands fit perfectly together. Slowly stroking Lee's knuckles, he opened his heart a bit more.
"Lee... You should know I'm in for the whole journey."
"I don't deal with casual very well either."
"So can we pretend that infamous night never happened?"
"What do you mean? Are you asking me to forget the beautiful cheesy things you said to me?"
"Shut up. I will deny everything, I will tell them you kidnapped me and forced a confession."
"You would? And who do you think would buy it?"
"..."
"Now we talk reasonably."
"Lee?"
"Yeah?"
"Shut up."
The first touch is soft and gentle, Richard's lips a light brush against Lee's, but it leaves them both breathing hard, their hearts screaming for more. Richard searches Lee's eyes, it is the first time he can study him from this close, and what he sees there is so overwhelming he has to look away. Nothing, no one, could ever come close to what he is feeling for this man. After months of longing, of fear and self doubting, a few misunderstandings but nothing but fierce loyalty to each other, they have finally crossed the line.
Lee presses his lips to Richard's temple, carefully touching him, breathing him in like he is the most important mission ever entrusted to him. It is too much for Richard, who closes his eyes and exhales almost painfully, shivers running through him as his soul blossoms under Lee's touch.
Leaning their heads together, Lee lays a gentle hand behind Richard's ear, bringing him closer and closer.
A brief smile, rising only the left side of a mouth, a lip bitten in answer, he whispers "It took you long enough" and finally leans down to recapture the older man's lips.