Work Text:
“It's been a year, two weeks, one day, I
Knew the minute that I saw your face that
Only thing that never changed was you ”
Yeonjun watched the younger as he talked with his friends, laughing. He looked the same, like it hadn’t been a year since they saw each other.
He looked ethereal as always, with his black jeans that wrapped his long legs just right and his slightly oversized green silk shirt that exposed a bit of his muscular chest. His jet black hairs were messy, adding him a mysterious and cool aura. But Yeonjun knew better he wore green watermelon sock that matched his shirt under his black boots.
It was a cute habit of the younger, even though no one was going to see, he always matched a funny sock to his tops. He had so many socks for that, Yeonjun had to sacrifice his five drawers just for him.
Yeonjun’s heart ached with the thought of the now empty drawer. He couldn’t bring himself to put his belongings back, he still wanted to see those socks in there.
Yeonjun looked at the clock, it was almost midnight. He had called his lover for ten times but his phone was still off.
Soobin had told him that he might be late, but Yeonjun never thought it could be this late. He was sick worried.
After ten minutes, when Yeonjun was about to lose his mind and throw himself in the streets to look for him the door opened, revealing a tall boy who looked exhausted.
“Hyung, I’m home.” Soobin said, head low, not noticing the man in front of him. “Sorry I couldn’t call you, my phone is de–.”
He stopped when a pair of arms wrapped him, immediately relaxing with the warm embrace. “Sorry for making you worry.” He whispered as he held Yeonjun as tightly as the latter, he sounded tired.
“It’s okay, bunny.” Yeonjun whispered, caressing his back. He could tell the younger had a bad day, tiring him. “C’mon, let’s put you in the bed.” He led the younger to their shared bedroom, trying so hard to ignore the women’s cologne that came from Soobin’s blazer.
It happened again in the next few days. Yeonjun didn’t want to assume things, he trusted Soobin. They’d been dating for five years now, or course he trusted the younger from the bottom of his heart. But it still bothered him.
“Soobin.” He said slowly, putting the papers on his hand down. Soobin hummed, not looking up from his phone. Yeonjun pressed his lips together, was he talking to her?
“Who is it?” Yeonjun asked without thinking, his voice was more annoyed than he wanted it to be. That must’ve caught attention, Soobin lifted his head, frowning.
“It’s Yewon sunbae.” Soobin said, putting his phone next to him and standing from the couch. He took his large steps to his lover, he scrunched down in front of him. “Is something wrong, hyung? Is work stressing you out? Did your father say something?” He asked looking at the papers which covered the dining table.
Yeonjun really wished it was just about the work. He really wished it was just the stress of being the chairman of his family business at his twenty two. He really wished it was just about his perfectionist father.
“What’s Yewon to you?” Yeonjun asked, ignoring the previous question. He couldn’t hold it in anymore, his heart was burning inside of his chest.
Soobin looked up, a little taken aback by the question. He paused before answering, it was like a fuel to the fire inside of Yeonjun.
“She’s just my senior, hyung. She helped me with the work boss had put on me.” Soobin spoke slowly, almost like he didn’t want to scare the older. Yeonjun bit his lower lip, shutting his eyes. He had been telling himself the same...
“The work that made you come past midnight for the last week?” He asked bitterly, opening his now glassy eyes. The anger was burning inside of him. “And she’s just a senior when I can smell her from you?”
He stood up, Soobin following him. His heart-shaped lips were half opened, the disbelief in his eyes was clear. “Are you implying that I am cheating on you?!” Soobin yelled, voice shaking, like he didn’t believe what he was hearing.
“I don’t know? What would you think if I was the one who came home smelled like someone else?!” Yeonjun yelled back. Soobin stepped back harsly, eyes glittering with tears, his heartbreak shown.
Yeonjun had never yelled Soobin before, never in the past eight years of knowing each other. Never in the past five years of their relationship, never in the past two years of living together. And the look on the younger’s face was enough to tell that, tell how much broken he was.
“No matter what I say, you won’t believe me.” Soobin spoke, it sounded like a fact more than a question. Yeonjun didn’t know then, his mind was clouded by anger, he was going to regret what he had said that time.
“You should go.”
Soobin left that day, not saying another word.
Yeonjun had learned the truth a few days after. Yewon contacted him, even came to his company. She told that their one small windowed office’s air conditioner had been broken and that time they only had her cologne to replace the sweat scent. It seemed stupid why it continued the week, but she said she was going to buy a room scent until the air conditioner was fixed. However Soobin said he liked the scent of her cologne’s ocean scent, it reminded him the beautiful memories that he had shared with Yeonjun at their last vacation.
She had apologized for over a hundred times, telling she never thought it could lead to this. She also said she never saw Soobin more than a colleague and neither did Soobin. She even had a beautiful girlfriend.
Yewon wanted to help, but Yeonjun was aware of the damage he had caused on Soobin. Not trusting him, accusing him and heck, even yelling at him over a misunderstanding. He knew even they loved each other, it was hard to get back.
“And it comes rushing back
As the moment passed
Make me wanna grab your hand
And pull you back ”
Soobin turned his eyes for a moment, catching the older off guard, they met eyes. For the first time after a fucking year.
Yeonjun felt his heart fastened and his breath hitched. It was still the same, his feelings, stronger even.
The last fourteen months were just so... empty, so cold without the younger.
He didn’t know what to do when he came home, finding all the lights off. He couldn’t bear the thought of their home becoming his home, so that he barely went there, spending his time on his own office.
He didn’t want to be surrounded by the empty sheets, he didn’t want to feel the cold when he was asleep. He didn’t remember when was the last time he had slept more than three hours.
The meals didn’t seem important to him anymore when he didn’t have the tall, bunny like boy with him. He only ate to keep his consciousness.
He just worked, trying to keep himself distracted. He worked until he was passed out, adding millions to company’s asset until it became billions and more. The company became the top tier of Korea, expanding overseas. His father was, finally, proud of him.
But Yeonjun wasn’t happy. People thought he had everything, he was delighted with his success. Only if they knew Yeonjun had nothing when Soobin wasn’t by his side.
Soobin smiled at him across the room, his dimples showed up. It was hard to pick his expression under the dim light of the pub, but Yeonjun thought he saw the longing in his eyes.
His mind filled with the memories of them. From the beginning of their journey. Their first meeting at the high school, first shy glances that were stolen from each other, first conversation, first dimpled smile of the younger and him letting Yeonjun to poke them.
Their first date at the arcade, the first time Yeonjun let himself get defeated just to hear Soobin’s joyful laughs. The first gift Yeonjun gave to the younger, the bunny plush Yeonjun managed to win from the claw machine after three attempts.
The time Yeonjun asked Soobin to be his boyfriend, on their second date. Soobin had took them to aquarium, they walked close, their shoulders touching. However neither of them had enough courage to take the other's hand. Yeonjun watched Soobin, eyes shining with excitement, like a child. The taller talked about how beautiful fishes were, but to Yeonjun nothing was more beautiful than Soobin. And right when the thought had passed through his head, he asked it, in front of a fish tank that made Soobin glowing with blue light. He asked him to be his boyfriend, the younger's eyes shined even brighter before saying yes.
The first time they held hands, in a normal school day, after their third date. Yeonjun could finally gathered his courage to intertwine their fingers at the hallway, telling the others that they were together, he was Soobin’s just like Soobin was his.
Their first hug, on their fifth date. They were watching a horror movie at Soobin’s house, sitting close on the comfortable sofa. Yeonjun had thought he was the scaredy-cat, Soobin proved him wrong. Not even after fifteen minutes of the movie, Soobin clunged to the older, hiding in his arms like his life depended on it. Yeonjun wasn’t sure if he was pretending just to hold him for the rest of the two hours, neither did he care.
Their first kiss that was at the school’s rooftop, on Soobin’s birthday. After stargazing, Yeonjun showing the star that he had brought for Soobin. The latter’s ears got red, he told that he didn’t deserve it. Yeonjun cupped his cheeks then, caressing the soft skin. Leaning in until their lips pressed together, matching like a silver lock and key. If he could, Yeonjun would buy the whole cosmos for the younger.
The first time Soobin said I love you to the older, on a simple day, out of nowhere. They were studying at the school’s library, Yeonjun was too focused on a math problem to realize he had reached for the younger’s hand, holding it to ease his frustration. Then Soobin had said it, softly, genuinely. Holding the older’s hand like he wasn’t willing to let go.
The first time Yeonjun said it back, on a rainy day, all soaked, shivering. He had ran away from his house, his father had gotten on his nerves. The first place he wanted to be was Soobin’s safe arms. He had ran all the way to the younger’s house, almost falling twice. When Soobin opened the door Yeonjun yelled how much he loved him, tears blending with the raindrops on his cheeks. Soobin pulled him into a hug, not caring about getting wet. That was when Yeonjun realized his home wasn’t a place but a person, named Choi Soobin.
“Tell me, have I lost my mind again?
I get the feeling you might feel the same
Tell me you can feel that love, feel that love again”
Yeonjun acted without thinking, getting up and taking a step forward. All eyes turned to him whilst Yeonjun’s was on the only one.
He didn’t know where he found the courage from. Maybe it was Soobin’s eyes which was filled with yearning. Maybe it was his smile, just like years ago, filled with affection. Maybe it was Soobin who got up right after; taking a step as well.
And now they were walking to each other, not thinking. Pulling by the strings of their hearts that were still tied so tightly.
Yeonjun knew it wasn’t over, their love. Its’ flame was still alive, burning stronger than ever before perhaps.
Their break up never felt real to Yeonjun, the ‘we are done’ never had been spoken between them. They never put an actual end to their relationship. Them falling apart from each other was just a consequence of Yeonjun’s idiotic act. If only he could rewind the time...
They met in the middle, stopping just a head away from each other. Yeonjun’s heart was beating fast, his fingers tingling with the want to reach out and pull the younger into his chest. But he didn’t even know if Soobin had forgiven him.
“Hi, Junie hyung.” Soobin was the first one to break the silence, smiling but eyes glittering, maybe with tears, maybe happiness. Yeonjun wasn’t at the state of telling them apart. His mind was stuck on the name Soobin called him, just like the times they were together and happy.
Yeonjun leaned a little closer, only a few millimeters. Now that he could smell the younger. Flowers, a lot of pretty flowers... Like a beautiful garden...
Yeonjun didn’t know how Soobin smelled like gardens of Versailles, he didn’t even wear perfume nor his body wash was flower scented. It must’ve been a gift from God, Yeonjun had always thought. A special scent for a precious boy.
"Hi, Soobin-ah." He said back, voice a little shaky. He felt like a bug, a nuisance to the delicate garden. One time he had said it to Soobin, when his father had made him feel like shit, when he felt like an outgrowth, when he couldn't see himself enough for anything, for Soobin. The younger had smiled, giving him a soft peck on the lips. He said Yeonjun was a bug, but, he was also the sun, the water, the air. He wasn't the nuisance, he was the everything a garden needed to be a garden. Yeonjun had fallen in love with him, once again, perhaps harder.
"Hyung." Soobin said, leaning a little more closer, now they could feel each other's warmth. Yeonjun just wanted to take another step and hug him, tightly, never letting go. Not again. But he didn't know if he could do that. "Let's dance."
"And even though we're in this crowded room
I'm feeling like there's no one else but you
Tell me you can feel that love, feel that love again"
Soobin had wrapped his arm around Yeonjun's waist, holding him close. Yeonjun's hands were on the taller's shoulder, head resting on his cheeks. Their bodies were swinging with the slow rhythm which the pub's band were playing. Yeonjun could hear Taehyun's honey like voice, his secretary had a small band with his school friends and Yeonjun was always there to support them. Plus he liked their music, too.
But right now, nothing mattered to him, he only cared about the younger who was holding him like the older was about to vanish from his hands. But Yeonjun would never, he would never leave or let the younger leave again.
"Soobin." He whispered. Soobin hummed, letting him know he was listening. Yeonjun took a deep breath and nuzzled to him, inhaling his flower scent mixed with sweat, it was so Soobin. "I am sorry, for everything I had said that day. For not coming after you left, I thought I had lost my chance." He said, tears threatening.
Soobin tightened his grip, leaning on the older's head. "I'm at fault, either." He whispered. "I never thought how it looked to you, I should've told you everything in the first day. I'm sorry, hyung." His voice was shaking.
Yeonjun pulled back just enough to look at him. "I shouldn't have yelled at you, I feel so terrible for that."
Soobin smiled at him and shook his head. "It hurt me, I won't lie. But you had to yell at me at some point."
"But not over a misunderstanding."
They stayed silent for a while, the song lingered between them.
"But I think you exploited, hyung." Soobin said, jokingly. Yeonjun understood that he didn't want to talk about it anymore, they were always so bad at serious talk. And after knowing each other for over nine years, somethings didn't have to be spoken too, they could read their minds. Both of them knew that what happened a year ago, they were over it.
"I read the articles about you, number one." Soobin added, making Yeonjun chuckle. "How does it feel to dance with a billionnaire?" Yeonjun asked teasingly. It was Soobin's turn to laugh. Yeonjun closed his eyes hearing the younger's chuckle, his angelic voice brushing his ears. Oh how much he missed to hear this, feel this...
"Nothing new." Soobin answered, the older opened his eyes and they were eye to eye. "But people will think I'm a gold digger." He added, not breaking the eye contact. Yeonjun smiled, he had seen so many of them by his side, always wanting the same thing. Even when he was a child, people only wanted to befriend him because of his family's money. Soobin was the first person who didn't even know his family's name or fame, he was just a naive boy who got a scholarship with his amazing scores-except maths, he always hated maths.
Maybe that was why Yeonjun had fallen for him over and over again, why he found his home in him, why he had nothing if he didn't have him, why he only wanted him my his side. Soobin loved him because he was Yeonjun, not Choi Yeonjun. He was just Yeonjun when he was with him, he was his hyung, his best friend, his lover. He was himself, the insecure boy in the heart, the boy who sought comfort since he was a child.
And Soobin, the precious Soobin, who gave all of it to him. Although he had his own fears, own insecurities, he was always there when Yeonjun needed him. He always embraced him, his weaknesses, his concerns. He told him sweet things, sang him to sleep, he even stood against Yeonjun's father. He helped him, to escape from the cruel world that surrounded Yeonjun, to face with his fears when he was strong enough. Just like Yeonjun.
They had become their strength, their home, their everything.
How could you forget that love? How could you stop feeling it?
"If I make a move are you down with that?
Go in for a kiss, would you kiss me back?
If I wrap my arms around you and I pull you close
Tell you once again that I'm taking you home"
"I wouldn't care if you are my gold digger." Yeonjun said, half joking, half serious. Soobin slowly hit his head with his own, telling that he wasn't here for Yeonjun's money. Yeonjun giggled, he loved the little protests of the younger.
"I know I'm broke but I am not a gold miner." Soobin said, resting his head on the older's again. Yeonjun frowned. "What happened to your job?" He asked, trying to pull back and look at him but Soobin held him still. The younger didn't answer back right away, he just swayed with the changing melody. Yeonjun wondered if the three brats were going to play slow songs until him and Soobin parted away.
"My salary seems like a pocket money compared to yours." He whispered, laughing a little.
"Soobin-ah." Yeonjun said again, he knew the younger long enough that something was bothering him, his laugh was fake and he could feel his hands trembling on his waist. "What happened?" He asked once more.
Soobin shifted his head, but soon, he hid it in Yeonjun's neck. Their height difference didn't matter to them, Soobin always managed to make himself smaller for Yeonjun. The latter never complained.
"I quitted a month ago. Boss couldn't keep his hands to himself." Soobin whispered, his breath brushed Yeonjun's neck, voice getting trapped. Yeonjun's body tensed, but Soobin caressed his waist. "He couldn't do anything, hyung. I'm fine." He spoke, assuring the older. Yeonjun could see Soobin didn't want to talk about it, but he couldn't let this go so easily and he wasn't going to. That man wasn't going to have anything tomorrow.
Yeonjun held the younger's chin, making him to pull back a little and look at him. He smiled, soothing him, telling that he was with him.
Soobin pressed his lips together, catching Yeonjun's attention to them. His adorable bunny lips, sweet like strawberries, tempting...
Yeonjun wanted to lean and kiss him, like he was a wanderer on the desert and the only spring was Soobin's lips.
Soobin's eyes dropped to the older's lips. Yeonjun knew, there wasn't any use to wait.
He leaned in, pressing their lips together. Soobin's lips were as soft as before, like how Yeonjun remembered them. They found their own rhythm immediately, like they were never apart for over a year.
Yeonjun wrapped his arms around the taller, pulling him closer like it was possible. Soobin put his hands on Yeonjun's cheeks, it had become his habit a while after they started dating. Yeonjun was never uncomfortable by the action, he loved it, it reminded that Soobin was real and kissing him for real.
They pulled back when they needed air.
"Hyung, why are you crying?" Soobin asked, wiping the tears with his thumbs gently. Yeonjun hadn't realized he was crying, he was just so happy and relieved to be with Soobin again. He looked at Soobin and giggled, he lifted his hand. "As if you're not crying, my bun." He said while wiping the younger's tears as well. Soobin giggled as well.
Again, no words needed to be spoken. They already knew how they felt.
Yeonjun caressed Soobin's cheeks, eyes locking on the younger's. "Soobin, my love." He said. "Let's go home, together."
"Hyungie-" Soobin started but Yeonjun didn't let him speak.
"Let's adopt that dog you wanted so much, I'll let you put her name. Let's go to that vacation we had planned for last year, I'll let you decide how long. Let's go shopping together every weekend, I'll let you buy as many socks you want. Let's sign up for that gardening course you told me before, I'll help you with your harvests.
You get your cookery certificate, I'll buy you a restaurant and help you run it. You can be a cook, you can achieve your dream, I'll help you with everything.
Let me buy you a ring, let me tell everyone that I belong with you. I want to marry you, I want call you my husband, my life, my love, my everything. I want to adopt a child, I want to raise them with you, I want us to be parents, make mistakes and learn how to be better at being fathers.
I don't want to waste my days without you, without my happiness. I love you so much and I want to spend my whole life with you, let me do that, Soobin. Let me take you home with me, come home with me. Come to our home, come back to me."
Soobin looked at him, more tears falling down on his cheeks. He seemed like he had lost his voice. Yeonjun couldn't blame him, he was aware of his words, how overwhelming them. But he meant every letter of those words, and he knew Soobin knew that.
"What the hell are you waiting for? Say fucking yes!" Beomgyu shouted from the stage, earning two smacks on his head from Taehyun and Huening Kai.
Yeonjun realized at that time, they stopped playing and the pub was complete silent. Everyone was listening to them, he didn't care. I he could he would let the whole world knew how much he loved Soobin.
Soobin giggled and sniffed. He turned to the older again, smiling, his dimples showed. Yeonjun raised his brows, his heart pounding in his chest, his hands were shaking, maybe his legs too.
Soobin reached out for Yeonjun's hand, holding them like the time at the library when he had said he loved him, not willing to let go. Yeonjun exhaled in relief, already knowing the answer.
"Okay, hyung." Soobin said nodding. Yeonjun heard the crowd's cheers-and some protest about them wanting to be in Soobin's place. The trio was the loudest and it wasn't because of the mics. Taehyun was saying he could get some rest finally, since his foolish boss was getting some too. Huening screaming while Beomgyu shouting that his big brain finally worked for dragging Soobin here tonight.
But Yeonjun didn't care about any of those, not even Taehyun calling him stupid. It was only Soobin who was tugging him from his hand, leading the way out.
"Let's go, hyung." Soobin said laughing. "Let's go our home."
"Tell me can you feel that love"