Chapter Text
“So,” Tubbo started. “I’m giving you two couples’ therapy.”
Currently, Tommy and Ranboo were sat on the couch of Tubbo’s home in Snowchester (Not the mansion, unfortunately, as it is still yet to be finished). Tubbo was standing in front of them, looking at them as if he were a teacher and the duo his students. The two taller boys stared at him incredulously.
“Couples therapy,” Ranboo repeated slowly. Tubbo nodded, looking completely serious.
“Me and Ranboob are not a couple , Tubbo,” Tommy told the shorter boy, sounding offended. He ignored Ranboo’s grumbles at the nickname.
“Exactly, but you’re supposed to act like one for your fake marriage to work!” Tubbo exclaimed as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. The duo groaned at the mention of the fake marriage situation, still not fully recovered from the embarrassment.
“That still doesn’t explain why we need couples’ therapy,” Tommy grumbled, sending a small glare to the enderman hybrid that sat besides him. Tubbo looked at the younger as if he was a dumbass.
“Because you hate each other,” the short boy deadpanned.
“I don’t hate Tommy!” Ranboo protested, Tommy rolled his eyes.
“Feeling’s ain’t mutual, bitch boy,” the blonde sneered.
“This is what I mean! You constantly bicker!” Tubbo said, exasperated. “You need to learn to get along, even if just a little bit, for this to work.”
“I didn’t even ask for this!” Tommy exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “I don’t want to be pretend-married to Ranboo!”
“This situation isn’t ideal for me either!” Ranboo shot back.
“Oh well you fucking—”
“LADIES. Ladies, you’re both pretty, calm down,” Tubbo cut in.
“What the fuck did you just call me—”
“ ANYWAYS,” Tubbo emphasised with a warning look to the blonde. “You two don’t know how to get along, so I’m going to make you do chores together.”
The look the two boys gave Tubbo made it look like he said the stupidest thing ever. “What.”
“Chores. They’re your ‘getting along’ activities. You have to do them together, and if they aren’t done by the end of the week I’m sicking Sam Nook on you.” Tubbo said matter-of-factly. The two boys paled at the thought of being chased by the robot.
“ Fine.” Tommy groaned. Ranboo looked at the younger, shocked he would give in so easily. “But only because I don’t want to disappoint Sam Nook.” Ah. That’s fair.
“So, what’s our first assignment, Tubbo?” Ranboo asked.
Their first assignment was to… shovel snow, apparently.
“If this was an issue for you, why’d you choose to live in a fuckin’ snow biome ?” Tommy groaned, hacking at the pillowy snow on the ground with an iron shovel.
“I don’t know, Tubbo built it here!” Ranboo responded, speedily plowing through the ground with his netherite shovel.
“Besides, this hardly seems like an equal amount of effort.” Tommy grumbled, eyeing the purple shimmering tool the other had. The gremlin inside the other was telling him to just yoink the damn shovel and run.
Actually, now that he thinks about it…
“Hey, Ranboo,” Tommy starts, a grin forming on his face.
“Yeah?” The enderman hybrid paused to look at the younger.
“Can I have your netherite shovel?” Tommy asked, putting on an innocent voice.
“My shovel– why?” Ranboo gave Tommy a look of confusion and suspicion. Tommy rolled his eyes.
“Because I’m poor, and this is going slow,” he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Ranboo stared at him incredulously.
“You literally have a shovel in your hand,” Ranboo pointed out. Tommy adopted an annoyed facial expression and glared up at the taller man.
“God you’re so fuckin’– please? ” It was then Tommy whipped out his secret weapon: Puppy Eyes.
Let it be known that Ranboo is a weak-willed man. There’s a reason he’s made fun of for having the backbone of a chocolate eclair. So, as he stared down into Tommy’s muted blue, begging eyes that were shining with the hope of a small orphan child on the street asking for food, he relented. Before he could process what he was doing, his netherite shovel was replaced by the diamond one the gremlin child was using. Said gremlin child had a victorious expression as he immediately examined the shiny new shovel he had just gotten his hands on.
“Oh– what the heck?!” Ranboo exclaimed when his thoughts caught up to him. Tommy just flashed the hybrid a wide grin.
“Thanks, Ranboo~!” Tommy chirped happily, scampering off to shovel more snow.
“Wh—” Ranboo was frozen in utter confusion as he watched the younger breeze through the snow, laughing.
Ranboo relaxed into a small, fond smile.
Their next assignment was to catch fish.
“I want to install an aquarium in the mansion,” Tubbo had explained to them.
Tommy thought it was bullshit. He bet the small boy would turn the fish into dinner. Reminds him of those times he and Tubbo would eat straight pufferfish.
You don’t want Sam Nook on your ass, Tommy thought to himself as he prepared to dive into the ocean. The duo had found a nice coral reef, full of tropical fish.
“Alright you bitch,” Tommy turned his head to Ranboo on the boat they were sharing. “I’ll get some fish, you get some coral.”
“Huh?” Ranboo tilted his head, his armor secure on him to protect him from the water. “Tubbo never asked for coral.”
“Well if he’s making an aquarium, he’s gonna want it to look nice,” Tommy scoffed, pulling out a few of the buckets he had brought.
“Ah, makes sense,” Ranboo nodded along in agreement. “You ready?”
“Of course I am, big man!” Tommy responded. The blonde took a deep breath, and leaped into the ocean below. A loud splash behind him told him that Ranboo had followed him in.
The two wasted no time getting to work. Tommy was scouring the reef, collecting the first fishes he saw. Meanwhile, Ranboo had taken to collecting all the different types of coral, as well as a few sea pickles. It was peaceful for a bit, the two enjoying the soft sounds of the ocean.
That was until Tommy forgot that he, as a land-creature, needed air.
He felt his lungs constrict and suddenly he was back in an all-too familiar shore next to Logstedshire. He started struggling and kicking in a panic, desperately trying to reach the surface.
Ranboo’s eyes widened at the sight of the younger thrashing in the water. His instincts kicked in and he zoomed to the blonde, grabbing him and pulling him upwards. Tommy struggled in his grip, obviously not back to reality quite yet.
Ranboo heaved Tommy onto the boat, already preparing to do CPR. Fortunately, Tommy quickly hacked up all the water he had swallowed, tearing up at the burning sensation of the saltwater exiting his system.
Shaking, Tommy slowly came back to reality. He hesitantly looked up at Ranboo, flinching at the panicked and worried expression on the older’s face.
“Hey…” Ranboo breathed a sigh of relief as he realized Tommy was okay. “Let’s head back.”
“Yeah… yeah, let’s do that,” Tommy agreed, his voice hoarse.
Their next assignment was to pick flowers.
“This is stupid,” Tommy grumbled, pulling the bright plants out of the ground.
“I think it’s nice,” Ranboo responded lightheartedly. The last time he did this was…
Well. He decided to stop that train of thought there.
“Oh, of course you would,” Tommy shot back, rolling his eyes.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ranboo looked down at the gremlin.
“Oh, you know, you’re just so fuckin soft , big man,” Tommy answered, turning to the enderman hybrid with a mischievous expression. “You’re the guy who planted the flowers outside my house, weren’t ya?”
“Yeah,” Ranboo confirmed, his tone beginning to border on wary. The conversation was beginning to border on a dangerous subject.
“Yeah, well, they’re ugly and I hate them,” Tommy declared. Ranboo relaxed, the subject obviously not going to… that.
“You haven’t gotten rid of them yet, though,” Ranboo pointed out, smiling as Tommy sputtered in response, the blonde’s face flushing in embarrassment.
The two lapsed into a… well, it wasn’t silence, Tommy didn’t do silence, but a comfortable pattern of Tommy talking about meaningless things as Ranboo nods and responds in slight ‘mhm’s, only occasionally chiming in with his own quip.
The duo returned to Snowchester, inventories full of flowers. Tubbo greeted them cheerily.
Ranboo blinked as Tommy shuffled a bit before quickly dropping a flower crown of daisies on the small ram’s head. When did he make that?
“So, how was your couples’ therapy?” Tubbo asked excitedly.
“It was dumb and I hated it,” Tommy answered almost immediately, though not looking the brunette in the eyes and fiddling with his thumbs. Tubbo gained a knowing grin.
“I thought it was nice,” Ranboo chimed in, earning a bright smile from Tubbo and a “shut up, boob boy!” from Tommy.
“Well, I’d best be off, boys,” Tommy declared, turning to leave.
“Bye, Tommy!” Tubbo exclaimed.
“Bye, Tommy,” Ranboo politely bid farewell to the younger. Tommy stared at Ranboo for a second, before suddenly pulling him down into a bending position.
“Wh—?!” Ranboo didn’t get a chance to ask before he felt a light weight on his head while Tommy bolted out of Snowchester.
Regaining his posture, Ranboo carefully lifted the foreign weight off his head to inspect it as Tubbo aww ’d from besides him.
A flower crown of alliums rested in his hands.
Ranboo smiled.