Work Text:
RedHood
@Bat-Man Fight me!!!
Oracle: Red please don’t pick fights you can’t win
Robin: What is he on about now? Father would easily beat him.
Red Robin: What happened this time? @Oracle
Bat-Man: I’m sorry, it was an accident.
Oracle: @Red Robin He bumped into him, and spilled Bat’s coffee on himself.
RedHood: @Red Robin It burned!
Robin: ...Sigh
Arkham Asylum
We are sorry to inform the public, some of the patients have escaped. We would like everyone that can to stay at home and know the GCPD are working to get these patients back.
Bruce Wayne: I would like to know where all my donation money was used?
RedHood: Hey! Why didn’t we get any credit, the GCPD are not fighting Bane!
RandomGothamite: Is it really necessary for you to keep posting this same apology every time?
Joker: It was a lovely stay, Doc. Haha!!
OtherGothamite: So Joker was one of the ‘patients’ that escaped?? Welp- I’m barricading my house!
Riddler: Riddle me this @Bat-Man! What can last days, or months, and can be done alone or with company? But you loathe when it ends?
Bat-Man: @Riddler Vacation?
Riddler: @Bat-Man Correct! Oswald and I are going to have one. A month. If you do not interrupt us, I will go back to Arkham afterwards myself.
Batman: @Riddler ...Deal
Joker
@Bat-Man I wrote something for you darling~!
10...
A clash, of fists
9...
A clash, of ideals
8...
A clash, of hate
7...
A clash, of love
6...
A clash, passion
5...
A clash, of all
4...
A clash, of everything
3...
A clash, of violence
2...
A clash, of fists
1...
A clash, of Gotham
That will never end
Bat-Man: ...Not bad...
Joker: @Bat-Man <3 <3 Thank you~!
RandomGothamite
@HarleyQuinn I feel depressed but my parents refuse to let me see a therapist. What should I do?
HarleyQuinn: Just go up onto the roof this Saturday! I’ll find ya! <3
Gothamite#3
@Bat-Man and @Robin just ran over my apartment... It’s 3:11am! I have a test tomorrow!
Bat-Man: We’re sorry, I’m sure you’ll have time to sleep tonight.
Robin: I sometimes forget people actually live in those buildings.
Gothamite#3: Holy shit-! My school just closed down for the week??
RedHood
@Bat-Man Code Purple and Violet!!
Bat-Man: @RedHood Who, and where?
RedHood: @Bat-Man Demon spawn, atop WE
Gothamite#5: What’s the code mean??
Gothamite#16: Could it be about Joker? I mean purple is his color?!
HarleyQuinn: Oh, no worries Gothamitey~! Puddin’s code is green! Not purple ^^
Gothamite#7: Wah...?
Bat-Man: @HarleyQuinn Yes, this is correct.