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A mist of smoke was enveloping Thomas by the far end of the table in the Servants Hall. With a cigarette secured between the fingers of his good hand, he sat on the wooden chair, quietly observing the box in front of him.
He did not know to whom it belonged, but it was brown … and wrapped with a bow - so obviously a gift from someone. It was Valentine’s Day after all - Thomas glanced up at the clock - For a little while longer at least. It was a little past eleven o’clock, and so everyone else had already gone up to bed. No one was going to come back for it.
Thomas put out his cigarette and leant forward in his seat. He pulled the box closer to himself and carefully untied the silky white bow, glancing towards the door, half-expecting someone to walk in and find him, in the middle of nicking someone else’s chocolate.
But no one was there.
He opened the box and peeked inside. It contained five different types of chocolates; four of each. His usually cold eyes lit up and he quickly picked up one and unwrapped it. Then he plopped it into his mouth, chewing slowly. He almost felt sorry for the person that had been foolish enough to leave them there. Almost.
“Who did you get that from?” A voice, laced with curiosity, asked suddenly.
Thomas panicked for a moment, but looked up from the box, his eyes meeting blue ones.
He let out a shaky little laugh, relieved that it was only Jimmy.
The blond footman was looking at him from where he stood by the door.
“No one,” Thomas shrugged, watching him, as he approached the table. “Someone must’ve forgotten it.” He couldn’t stop the corners of his mouth from twitching upwards into a little smile. He always seemed to smile more, when Jimmy was around.
Ever since he and Jimmy had become friends after a whole year of avoidance, due to that incident, Thomas couldn’t remember having ever been happier, whilst working at the Abbey.
It was absurd, but the grumpy footman brightened Thomas’ day in ways no one else could.
And maybe it was because Jimmy just seemed to be a little less agitated, when it was just him and Thomas. More at ease.
Or maybe it was on account of the fact that Thomas loved Jimmy.
Jimmy came to a halt next to the table, standing on the opposite side of where Thomas was sitting, which was right next to the old piano.
He looked into the brown box, pursing his lips, then he grinned at Thomas. “Too bad for them it was you, of all people, who stumbled upon it.” He walked around the table, past Thomas, and sat down by the piano.
Him of all people?
Thomas turned around in his chair to look at Jimmy.
“What do you mean by that?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at him.
Jimmy’s hands were hovering above the piano keys, but he let them fall into his lap, when Thomas asked him the question. He turned his head, smirking at the older man.
“Only that you never seem able to keep your hands to yourself, when there are sweets around.”
Thomas opened his mouth, only to close it again. He repeated this motion a few more times, before he smiled mischievously. “You don’t have to watch me eat them.”
“I am not watching!” Jimmy retorted.
“Then how do you know?”
Silence.
But then,
“Any person with eyes can see that your buttons are starting to strain.” He muttered, gazing down to the black and white keys again.
Thomas felt stunned. He knew that he had gained weight. That much was obvious to him, but he hadn’t known that it was obvious to everyone else as well.
He glanced down to his middle, feeling a little embarrassed, as he watched how it pushed against his waistcoat, making his buttons strain, like Jimmy had so kindly pointed out.
He looked away from himself and decided to focus on the footman again instead. Perhaps they could forget that the words had ever left Jimmy’s mouth. He definitely looked like he regretted them with his lips in a thin straight line and flushed cheeks. Thomas crossed his arms over his chest and leant back in the chair.
“Jimmy-”
“Did you get any Valentine’s cards?” He quickly interrupted him, not tearing his eyes away from the piano keys.
Thomas furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “No.”
He didn’t know why Jimmy would ask him about that of all things. Maybe just to change the subject. He decided to just roll with it.
“But you got one from Ivy?”
Jimmy nodded, but he didn’t seem very thrilled about it.
There was a pause, in which neither of the two men said anything. Without thinking much of what he was doing, Thomas unwrapped another chocolate, waiting for Jimmy to say something, whilst he chewed. But when he didn’t, Thomas swallowed and opened his mouth to speak.
“Jimmy?”
Jimmy blinked, his eyes focusing on Thomas again. “Er, this card is for you,” he said, hastily pulling a rose coloured card out of his trousers pocket. He handed it to Thomas, who took it, unable to comprehend Jimmy’s words. Had the footman just found it lying on the floor somewhere someone might have dropped it? Had one of the maids asked him to hand it to Thomas for her? It seemed unlikely, but he supposed he’d find out soon enough.
He studied the card in his hand. It was a bit wrinkled after being folded away in a pocket for who knows how long. He opened it, immediately noticing the awful handwriting, which he decided not to comment upon.
He started reading.
I think of you each night and day,
I’d like to kiss you, if I may.
I believe in happy ends,
We are more than just good friends.
I want to be your Valentine,
You are my little porcupine.
You’re the most handsome guy under the sun,
I’m under your spell - what have you done?
It wasn’t signed, but a few tiny hearts had been scribbled below the poem, though they were almost as ugly, as the handwriting itself.
The poem was sweet, Thomas supposed, but it also looked like it had been written by a ten year old, who desperately wanted it to rhyme.
He glanced up at Jimmy, who had his gaze fixed on him, an expectant look on his face.
“Who wrote this? It’s not very good..” The under butler chuckled lightly, trying to imagine which of the maids would write such silly nonsense.
But Jimmy frowned, a blush spreading across his nose and cheeks. “I wrote it, you arse.” He said, his voice sour. He was about to snatch the card from Thomas’ hands, but the taller man held it out of his reach, his eyes wide in disbelief.
Then he read it again. And skimmed it a few more times after that.
“If this is some cruel joke-”
“It’s not. Do you really think I’d do something like that?”
Thomas contemplated it for a moment. And no, he didn’t actually think that Jimmy would pull a prank like that. But it was just as unbelievable that he should have written Thomas a Valentine’s card.
He looked at Jimmy. “So, you really wrote this for me then?”
“Yes, Thomas, and now that I know you don’t like it, you might as well hand it back.” He held out his hand, biting his lip, as his eyes travelled down to his feet.
After all that had happened between them, it took everything in Thomas to do what he was about to do. Even with Jimmy’s declaration of love in his hand.
Instead of placing the little pink card in the other’s hand, he placed his own hand. The touch made Jimmy jump slightly on the bench, and he looked up to Thomas’ face with a surprised expression.
“I love it, Jimmy.” He assured him, his thumb gently brushing the other’s knuckles.
His heart was beating fast, like the night he went to Jimmy’s room. But this time was different. They didn’t have O’Brien whispering half truths into their ears. And they were friends now. Good friends at that.. but most importantly; Jimmy was being clear and honest about how he felt towards Thomas for once.
Jimmy let go of his hand and got up from the bench. For a second, Thomas thought he was going to run off, but then he just stepped closer to Thomas and bowed down, looking at him so intently.
Thomas reached out his pale hand and cupped Jimmy’s cheek gently.
Jimmy closed his eyes, mouthing something that Thomas didn’t quite catch, but he thought that he might have been silently preparing himself, before he leant forward, capturing Thomas’ lips in a kiss.
He had never thought that he’d get the chance to kiss Jimmy again. He had made it so clear that he wasn’t like Thomas. So what caused his change of heart?
He didn’t want to speculate about it now though. No, he just wanted to enjoy the sweet sensation of Jimmy’s soft lips moving slowly against his own.
When they pulled away, Thomas didn’t open his eyes for a few moments. He exhaled slowly through his nose, a gentle smile on his lips. “I love you,” he said, his voice sounding softer than it had probably ever been before. His eyes fluttered open and he met Jimmy’s gaze. His eyes shone with affection, like Thomas had never seen before. Or perhaps he had just never noticed.
Jimmy chuckled in return. “I love you too. As you bloody well know, after readin’ that.” He pointed to the crumpled card, Thomas had accidentally clutched a little too hard in his gloved hand. He hastily tried to even it out.
“When I said it wasn’t good, I didn’t mean-”
“Thomas, it’s alright.” He laughed, as he pulled out a chair, planting it next to the one Thomas was sitting on. He sat down, folding his hands in his lap. “I’ve never been much of a writer.”
Thomas probably looked like a complete moron, because of how much he was smiling. He put the card down on the table, looking at it for a little while. Then his focus switched to the box standing next to it.
His hand twitched, about to reach for another, but he was suddenly very much aware of Jimmy’s eyes on him, remembering what he had said only minutes ago. His smile faltered.
Jimmy must have noticed the clench of his jaw and the way he had eyed the chocolate, because he moved his hand to rest on top of Thomas’ on the table. His thumb ran over the leather of his glove, as he spoke. “Don’t hold back because of me.”
Thomas studied Jimmy’s face skeptically.
“But what about what you said before?” He traced the straining buttons of his poor waistcoat carefully.
“I never said it was a bad thing,” Jimmy smirked, although looking a bit nervous. He suddenly moved his hand, placing it on the side of Thomas’ belly, which he tried to suck in without much hesitation. Force of habit, he supposed. Jimmy let out a sigh. “No need for any of that.”
Thomas reluctantly let out a sigh, his belly expanding back to its normal size.
Jimmy offered Thomas a warm smile.
“You really don’t mind it?” He asked, a little baffled that Jimmy hadn’t withdrawn his hand in disgust already.
“Mind it?” Jimmy asked, his hand moving to the center of the older man’s stomach. He rubbed gentle circles into it, seeming almost… mesmerised?
“On the contrary, Thomas, I think you.. I think you’re very handsome.”
Thomas huffed, letting his hand run down his face.
“I mean it. You shouldn’t feel insecure about the meat, Thomas.”
Thomas laughed at that. “You’re quite the poet.”
That made Jimmy snort.
He leant in and kissed Thomas again, which caused his heart to flutter in his chest.
Jimmy picked up a chocolate from the box, after pulling away. Thomas watched him, as the blond unwrapped it.
“I saw you eyeing them before.” He mumbled, tossing the wrapper back into the box, before holding the chocolate out for Thomas to take, giving him a look that told him that there was no point in arguing
Thomas hesitatingly took it in his hand and ate it.
The sweet caramel centered in the middle tasted heavenly on his tongue. He closed his eyes and let out a low moan.
Then he heard the sound of foil being unfolded and opened his eyes to see Jimmy fiddling with another one.
“One more?” Thomas asked with a quizzical expression. He wouldn’t be opposed to having a few more, but he hadn’t asked for it. Yet Jimmy was already ready with one in his trembling hand.
“It’s just… it’s … I like it when …” Jimmy started, unable to find the right words. He let out a frustrated sigh. “We’ll have to get rid of the box, so whoever left it here will think it’s gone missing. We shouldn’t let the contents go to waste.”
He supposed Jimmy was right. They couldn’t just leave the open box on the table for everyone to see in the morning. But it was obvious that that wasn’t what Jimmy was going to say at first.
A thought popped into Thomas’ head and he hoped to God that he was right.
He adjusted himself in his seat, moving a bit closer to Jimmy. “Feed it to me then.”
Jimmy gaped at him. “What?”
“Isn’t that what you want?” Thomas persisted, though warmth was creeping up his neck.
Jimmy glanced away for a moment, a little smile playing on his lips. When he looked back at Thomas' face, his eyes were fixated on his lips and he held the treat up, waiting for Thomas to bite into it.
Thomas opened his mouth, his red lips brushing against Jimmy’s warm fingertips as he ate the piece of chocolate from his hand.
He began to lick off the smears of chocolate on his fingers, while he looked into Jimmy’s eyes, making sure that he was watching.
The footman swallowed thickly, his voice hoarse, as he spoke. “God, what you do to me, Thomas..” his blue eyes were dark, as he watched Thomas’ mouth, gently kissing and licking Jimmy’s fingers, even taking them into his mouth to suck them clean.
They continued like this until the box was completely empty, by which point, Thomas was leaning back in his chair with Jimmy’s hands all over him. “I think I overdid it a bit.” He laughed, but let out moans of pleasure, when Jimmy pressed into his stomach with just the right amount of pressure.
“You’re still able to get up, right?” Jimmy asked him softly.
Thomas shot him a glare. “Yes Jimmy, I’m not completely helpless.” He said, but still let out a groan when he got up from the chair. It was quite noticeable how his tummy pressed against the fabric of his waistcoat now.
Jimmy stood up as well. He picked up the empty box and the Valentine’s card. “Bed?” He asked, glancing at Thomas.
Thomas covered his mouth with his hand, as he yawned. “Bed.” He nodded.
Once in the men’s quarters, Thomas started to feel a little nervous. “I understand if it’s too much to ask, but would you like to sleep in my room tonight?” He glanced at Jimmy, and when he didn’t answer, Thomas quickly added; “we don’t have to do anythin’. We’ll just sleep.”
Jimmy let out a shaky breath. “Alright then,” he offered Thomas a cheeky smile. “You’ve convinced me.”
Thomas simply shook his head, smiling, when Jimmy took his hand and dragged him to the under butler’s room.
The next morning at breakfast, Ivy walked in, looking around, as if searching for something. Anna was sitting next to Thomas. She gave Ivy a curious look, when the kitchen maid didn’t say anything, but only continued to look around.
“What’s the matter, Ivy?” She asked.
She stopped her searching and looked at Anna.
“Alfred gave me some chocolate.”
“Oh, how sweet.” Anna smiled, glancing from Ivy to Alfred and back again.
“Yes, it’s terribly nice, but now I’m afraid I don’t know where it is.”
“What do you mean?” Alfred asked, his eyebrow furrowed in confusion.
“I could’ve sworn I put it on the table last night.” She muttered, looking at the footman
He frowned, his hand clenching on the table. “Then someone must have taken it.”
Thomas and Jimmy were dead silent, as their eyes met from opposite ends of the table.
Bates narrowed his already microscopic eyes at Thomas. Thomas lifted his chin, looking back at him.
“You were up rather late last night, Mr Barrow. Perhaps you know what happened to it?”
Thomas was about to give him some bullshit answer, but was thankfully saved by the bell.
Mr Carson, who had been following the conversation quietly, got up. The others did the same.
Thomas walked past Bates, giving him a condescending smirk, before he went straight for the door.
Once he was out of the crowded Servants’ Hall, he felt someone tugging at his sleeve. He looked to his right and saw Jimmy biting his bottom lip. Thomas felt warm all over just from the sight of it.
“Do you think he knows?” He asked, glancing at Bates, who seemed to be exchanging some words with his wife.
“Oh, he knows,” Thomas noticed Jimmy’s slightly worried expression. “But he doesn’t have any proof, does he?” He continued, smiling at the blond.
Jimmy smiled back then. “Right you are, Mr Barrow.”
“I usually am,” He grinned and patted Jimmy’s shoulder.