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Percy is a really lousy driver.
Annabeth thought to herself as she quietly drove through the busy streets of New York. Gods, she misses Percy. She missed his green eyes, playful smile, and messy hair which he only lets her touch.
“I thought you said it’s not allowed for drivers to remove their hand from the steering wheel unless it’s for other car functions?” Annabeth smirked at Percy from the passenger seat.
“Yeah, well,” Percy shrugged, squeezing Annabeth’s hand tighter. “Thought this could be an exception, unless, of course, you want me to remove my hand?”
“No,” Annabeth held Percy’s hand atop her thigh tighter.
“Thought so, wise girl,” Percy smiled as he took a quick glance towards their intertwined hands before keeping his eyes on the road.
It was cold, way too cold. Annabeth wanted to be with Percy. She wanted to be in his warm house, with his warmth around her. She wanted Percy to hug her or cuddle up to her for warmth. Instead, all she got was his pillow beside her as she drove towards his house.
“I’ll get you back,” Annabeth muttered quietly to herself as she squeezed the pillow beside her. The pillow was soft with a blue sheet. It smelled like the sea - it smelled like Percy and it was the only thing Annabeth has of him that gives her warmth these days.
Annabeth would spend a lifetime looking for Percy when it comes to it. She’d spend moments and treasured time looking for him. And it wouldn’t be a waste. She’d run towards the ends of the Earth if she had to.
“Is it safe out there?” Annabeth crossed her arms, as she watched Percy leaned on his stepfather’s Prius. The two of them are in a random parking lot Percy found while driving towards Camp Half-Blood. It was near enough to camp that the two of them could speed there when needed, but they avoided thinking about it.
“Yeah,” Percy nodded. “I checked.”
“Okay,” Annabeth nodded hesitantly.
“Now, go,” Percy climbed inside the car. “All you had to do is sit behind the steering wheel and just go.”
Annabeth followed Percy's instructions. Listening carefully, looking for something she needed to know about driving. It was true that she knew a lot. She knew how cars were made, how they function, and the statistics of car-related accidents. It couldn’t, however, compare to the teachings of an experienced driver.
Percy had offered to teach her how to drive after Annabeth had asked him multiple times to pick her up from camp half-blood to his apartment. Annabeth argued that she didn’t have a car to drive, but Percy shook his head and pointed out the camp’s minivan parked near the big house.
“I can’t do this,” Annabeth shook her head, furiously, as she held her hands as far away from the steering wheel as she could. It wasn’t much as she was sitting right in front of it but enough so that Percy could reach over and turn off the car.
Annabeth started slowly; following Percy’s instructions carefully and just driving forward. But she may have pressed her foot harder on the gas than they both would like as the car sped up and almost hit a pole.
“Of course, you can,” Percy placed a hand on her shoulder. “You can fight monsters like Jackie Chan but can’t drive like the rock? Please, I don’t believe you.”
“You should believe me,” Annabeth felt her fast-beating heart calm down. “You’ve seen me in action.”
“I don’t,” Percy shook his head as a small smile danced on his lips. “Now, try again. This time, I’ll turn on some music to get you inspired.”
Annabeth turned the ignition on and Percy grabbed the aux cord, plugging in Paul’s iPod and playing ‘Highway to Hell’.
“Well, good song choice you have there,” Annabeth commented as she checked her rearview mirror. Percy laughed beside her before singing along and Annabeth wanted this moment with him to last forever. No matter how many errors she had while driving, it was worth it to keep seeing his smile and feel his encouraging words bury themselves within her - something to hold on to on the days they’re apart.
Annabeth turned the radio on, looking for something to distract herself from thoughts about Percy. She likes thinking about Percy, but these days, it was harder. His sudden disappearance left her in pieces, like an anvil that was dropped on a fragile glass sculpture - breaking her into pieces that couldn’t be pieced together. She needed a distraction to just make her think that everything’s fine when everything’s not fine.
A happy Christmas song came on the radio just as Annabeth was driving by a beach. She can’t even enjoy the Christmas song. Hades, she can’t even enjoy Christmas. Everything around her reminded her of him - from the car's minivan that she was driving to the ocean waves lapping the sand as she drove by. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the waves as she stopped at a red light. She couldn’t bring herself to focus on the song playing on the radio as all she could hear were waves hitting sand even though she was far away from the beach.
Annabeth tried closing her eyes, but all she could see was his eyes and his smile. A lump formed on Annabeth's throat as she opened her eyes, shaking her head away from the thoughts of Percy eating her sanity away. Yet as the lights turned green, all she could think about were his green eyes and the way it lights up whenever they pass by this particular beach.
“Come on, 'beth,” Percy pleaded. “Just once. Let’s go and have a small moment here.”
“I don’t know, Percy,” Annabeth shook her head. “Do we even have enough time for frolicking? It’s nearing sunset and Sally would want you home by dinner.”
“Froli- what?” Percy shook his head. “Nevermind. It’s okay. We won’t be late. Just a few minutes.”
Going against the voices in her head screaming at her to reject Percy’s offer, she went with Percy as he parked at this very beach. It was nice enough in the fall that only a few people were walking along the shore. She ran after him when he dashed towards the waves as soon as his feet hit the sand. She followed him as he went towards the sea, ignoring the giant waves coming at them. She swam up when he did, only for him to pull her back down and pull her for an underwater kiss.
Annabeth wiped the tears that fell down her cheeks, trying to not let it distract her driving. She passed by a church, whose bells were loudly tolling as the clock struck nine. She noted the smiles the churchgoers carry as they exited the church. Children were skipping as they pulled their parents towards the vendors outside who were cooking something good. Annabeth didn’t know what it was but her stomach growled as the smell hit her nose - it smelled of lit charcoals and banana leaves, as well as with a mix of something sweet Annabeth couldn’t place. It smelled warm enough that she knew Percy would like it. She thought of buying one for Sally as she passed one of the stalls.
She rolled down her window, about to order something from the cheery vendor. “Hi, child, merry Christmas, what can I do for you?”
“Uh, can I have two of those things you were cooking?” She pointed towards one of the clay pots the vendor had lined up.
“Oh, you mean bibingka?” The vendor smiled at her.
“Yeah,” she tightly smiled back.
She thought that would be it as she watched the vendor get to work, wrapping up her product, but it seemed like the vendor was into small talk as they asked Annabeth question after question. “How was your day, sweetheart?”
“It was fine.”
“You seem young. How old are you?”
“Sixteen,” Annabeth tightened her hold on the steering wheel.
“You looked like you’ve been crying, are you okay, my dear?” The vendor looked concerned.
“I’m fine,” Annabeth said, but the words felt forced as she felt the lump in her throat and the tears threatening to fall.
The vendor must have noticed how hard Annabeth was trying to keep her emotions at bay as they hastily changed the topic. “So, where are you headed?”
“My boyfriend’s house,” Annabeth answered, as she handed the vendor a few bucks.
“Oh, well, greet them Merry Christmas from me,” The vendor smiled at Annabeth as they handed her the warm Bibingka wrapped in small plastic bags.
“Thank you,” Annabeth placed the warm plastic beside Percy’s pillow. “Before I go, may I ask why you’re celebrating Christmas early?”
“Oh, where I’m from, it starts in September until mid-January,” The vendor answered with a wistful look.
“That must have been nice,” Annabeth hummed.
“Yeah, this holiday gives people hope, you know?” The vendor gave her a sad smile. “I pray whatever you’re going through may pass, and may you have hope for the days to come.”
It felt like a warning, Annabeth thought as she bid the vendor her thanks. Annabeth shook her head. It was crazy of her to overthink a kind vendor’s words. She didn’t even know them and they have very different views on religion. Yet Annabeth could feel the vendor’s words taking effect on her.
Christmas. That was something that never dared linger on Annabeth’s mind much longer. It was a holiday not celebrated by the gods as it is for a different god. Yet, she knew of the effect the holiday had on the whole world. She could see it as she drove through street after street, looking at the brightly lit buildings with large statues of Santa Claus. She knew of it as she drove through Christmas tree after Christmas tree in front of establishments and saw their lanterns and wreaths that hung on the doors.
It must be nice to celebrate Christmas with their loved ones, wrapped up in a blanket and keeping warm in front of the fireplace, sipping hot cocoa as they tell stories to keep them entertained. Annabeth wished she could experience it with Percy. They would have made a giant blanket fort and buried themselves in it. Percy would have made her blue hot chocolate as she munched on Sally’s warm blue chocolate chip cookies. She would have put on a movie and she and Percy would fall asleep in the middle of it. It would have been nice. Instead, Percy was gone. All she got was Jason Grace, the hero with one shoe, and not even a clear lead to him.
Annabeth laughed bitterly as hot tears fell from her eyes. Hope? Where could it be? Because Annabeth didn’t know the answer. Every last drop of hope she had was just slipping away like sand on an hourglass.
“Okay, here’s the plan for our winter break,” Percy announced as he sat beside her atop Camp Half-Blood hill. It was the twelfth of December, the chilly air setting in although not as much as it was outside the camp’s borders. Still, it was getting cold, and Annabeth snuggled up to Percy.
“Thought I was the one with the plans?” Annabeth smirked. Percy rolled his eyes and handed her the sheet of paper he was holding. “Seriously, making snowmen? What are you, six?”
“Making a snowman is fun,” Percy stated. “You just haven’t fully experienced it yet, wise girl.”
“We’ll see, seaweed brain,” Annabeth ruffled his hair as she placed a kiss on his forehead. She stood up, offering him a hand. “Now, come on, let’s go to sleep.”
“I’m not sleepy,” Percy whined as he held Annabeth’s hand. He tugged it hard, making Annabeth sit down in front of him.
“But it’s already curfew, we have to sleep. Remember the snowman?” Annabeth smiled at him. Percy smiled back as he pulled her in for a kiss. It was gentle and sweet, much like their kisses before. It was soft like falling to a bunch of rose petals, only that it smelled of the ocean and Annabeth’s drowning in his sea-green eyes.
If she had known, Annabeth would have kissed him harder. She would let them have that moment under the stars. She would have been the one to persuade Percy to stay there, even for a moment more. If she had known, she would have never let him go.
Even though she took a long way home, she knew she had to reach his home eventually. She knew she had to gaze into the warm eyes of Sally Jackson and watch as it falls once again.
She was driving in his neighborhood and all she could picture was coming home to him. He was the only home Annabeth had known, and now, he’s gone. No home would ever compare to him. No home would come after him.
“I’m getting my license!” Annabeth announced to Percy, as she showed him her passed written exam.
Percy picked her up and spun her around, placing a soft kiss on her lips when he stopped. “Finally, you can now drive me around.”
“Who said anything about driving you around?” Annabeth sternly said although a smile was on her lips as her hands caressed his cheeks.
“It was in the agreement, wise girl,” Percy peppered her face with kisses. A kiss on her forehead, “I teach you-” A kiss on her nose, “you-.” A kiss on her eyes, “drive me.”
“Nice to know you’re excited for me to get my license for selfish reasons,” Annabeth told him, capturing his lips into hers as a hand of hers tangled itself into Percy’s hair.
“Yeah, well,” Percy grinned at her. “Now, you could drive yourself to my house.”
“Yeah, that,” Annabeth rolled her eyes.
“And you could just come by and have those cookies,” Percy’s traveled dangerously to her side, where he could tickle her.
Annabeth squirmed under his touch, raising a finger. “Don’t you dare.”
Percy grinned before attacking her with tickles. Annabeth ran away from him as he chased her around the strawberry fields.
The day was good while it lasted. It was normal, it was okay. Annabeth was finally getting her license. She was finally going to be able to drive to his house. She never thought that this was the cost of her getting her license. She woke up on the fourteenth, excited to finally be able to get her license later on the day. She waited for Percy to wake up, patiently eating breakfast, watching the crowd of campers for his bright morning smile.
She remembers Chiron approaching her, asking if she could check on Percy’s cabin, only to find nothing there - just an unmade bed and his shoes at the end of his bed. She remembered frantically running back to Chiron and telling him Percy’s nowhere to be found. She remembered the worried looks on the camper’s faces as the news reached them, her look must have doubled theirs.
Annabeth came to a stop in front of Sally’s apartment building, taking a moment to breathe. It was hard to breathe as tears still stream down her face, not threatening to stop. She knew she had to put on a brave face for Sally. For Paul. But most especially, for herself. If she could somehow convince herself she was only driving home to Percy, that would be nice.
If only she could picture herself driving home to Percy’s with a smile, and watch as he opened the door wearing an ugly Christmas sweater. She wanted so badly to make herself believe that Percy would be there - upstairs - to greet her, as well as Sally, with hot chocolate and newly baked blue chocolate chip cookies.
She prayed constantly to the gods, no matter how much she hated doing that. But all she got were fragments - pieces of a puzzle that was hard to piece together. The biggest was this - Jason’s appearance, yet no answer just came to mind. She even prayed to other gods - Norse, Egyptian, anything - looking for answers. Yet nothing that would help her find him as soon as possible.
Gods, Annabeth wanted to spend Christmas with Percy. She’d let him pull her shop after shop, looking for perfect gifts. She would have had a blast thinking of something to give him.
Plastering on a fake smile, Annabeth grabbed the warm bag of bibingka as she turned the car off and stepped down. It was late at night, sometime around nine-thirty, yet the streets of New York were very much alive as people walked with bright smiles on their faces, holding warm cups of coffee and thinking that everything’s alright in this world.
Annabeth envied them. She wanted her smile to mirror theirs, to have the same substance as theirs. She wanted to feel complete, yet she could never feel complete without a certain green-eyed presence beside her.
Annabeth trudged up the stairs of the apartment building, wrapping the bibingka tightly in her arms, wishing that its warmth would be enough to hold her up tonight.
Reaching the fifth floor and their door, Annabeth took a moment to collect herself, breathing in and out as if there’s a foot stepping down her lungs. It was hard as the lump on her throat throbbed, begging her to just cry. But she can’t cry. She had to stay strong for Sally.
The smell of newly baked chocolate chip cookies greeted her as Sally Jackson opened the door, greeting her with a warm smile and a hug. “Come in, Annabeth.”
Annabeth came in, leaving her shoes out the door, as she followed Sally towards the small living room. Percy’s home wasn’t much, but it’s home. Being inside his house felt like a warm hug, but also a slap to her face as the pressure to find him piled up, as she looked around at Percy and Sally’s photographs throughout the years. “Here, uh, I brought you and Paul something I found along the way.”
She handed Sally the warm plastic bag of bibingkas, watching as she sniffed and a small smile graced the woman’s feature. “Oh, you didn’t have to.” Sally touched her arm, and Annabeth found herself leaning into the woman’s touch. It felt too much like his - filled with love and happiness, that no matter what the world threw at her, she’s still here. She’s still standing. Annabeth only hoped that Percy was doing the same thing as his mother. “Any news?”
Annabeth bit her bottom lip as it started to tremble. “I’m sorry,” she kept repeating as she sat down on their couch, putting her head in her hands. “I’m sorry.” She couldn’t hold it in anymore as hot tears continued falling from her eyes, showing no sign of stopping.
“There, there,” Sally Jackson sat beside her, rubbing her back. It comforted Annabeth but thinking about Sally’s eyes brimming with tears, caused her to release a sob. “It’s okay.”
“I’m sorry,” Annabeth shook her head, using her jacket sleeves to wipe her eyes.
“I wasn’t expecting you to have news this fast,” Sally told her. “It’s okay. It’s nearly Christmas, let’s just hope for a miracle.”
“Yeah,” Annabeth didn’t believe in miracles. She wanted to scream - at the fates, the gods - whoever was playing with them. She wished all her problems were something like glass so she could pick up a sledgehammer and hit it until it resembled all her broken pieces. She wanted to curse out everything, but she knew she couldn’t bring Sally down even further. “A Christmas miracle would be nice.”
Annabeth placed a silent prayer to whatever gods out there that a Christmas miracle would arrive - soon, she hoped.