Chapter Text
These days, Ben frequently manages the previously unthinkable feat of waking up even earlier than Leslie. With the campaign going ahead in full speed and Jennifer Barkley kicking his ass with a candidate who is quite possibly the dumbest human person in the world, if someone took a shot for every time someone had uttered the words “Mean Ben,” they’d be dead of alcohol poisoning. Well, unless they were Ron, probably, but that shouldn’t really count. It may just be physically impossible for Ron Swanson to get alcohol poisoning.
Anyway, the point was that he’s been a little stressed and anxious. Maybe a fair amount. Okay, a hell of a lot.
So when Ben wakes up before with a pang of nausea and dizziness, it is far from out of the ordinary. Most mornings are like this now. Looking at the woman next to him, he’s never been happier; he loves her, likes her, believes in her, and knows the feeling is mutual. Unfortunately, he’s also terrified of letting her down. He wants her to be happy and knows she’s been stressed out over this campaign, too, so he and Ann colluded to make sure that Leslie would have a Saturday off with Ann today while Ben would hold down the campaign fort. (Yes, it would probably end up being a new holiday, but at the moment that felt like a small price to pay. He’s sure Ann would regret it later.)
Ben quirks a small smile at Leslie’s indiscernible mumbling in her sleep before turning onto his other side to check the time--4:30 AM. As quietly as possible he slinks out from between the sheets and lets his feet hit the carpet, standing up and--
Oh- oh no. Not good. Spinny. Sick. Nope. No. Yikes.
As quietly as he can Ben stumbles on his tip-toes with his arms outstretched, grabbing onto whatever solid, stable objects he can to keep him from falling over until he reaches the bathroom, closes the bathroom door agonizingly slowly and as quietly as he possibly can, and retches into the toilet bowl. Never has he been more glad that when he pukes, he’s not that loud. What a weird talent. Is that a talent? Oh god, his head hurts. And his stomach. Really just everything at this point.
Ben rests his head on the cold toilet bowl with a pathetic, soft little groan he doesn’t care enough to be self-conscious about at this point. What was it about the flu in Pawnee that made it so much worse than everywhere else? God knows it wasn’t just Ben--there was a long, storied history of people just casually being hospitalized with the flu in this town when they were otherwise young and healthy like that was normal. Moments like this make him wonder what it is that makes him love this town enough to call it home.
Faster than he can blink, his brain answers: Leslie. His intelligent, kind, passionate, ambitious, incredible, thoughtful girlfriend. A person who is so kind and thoughtful, in fact, that there is no way in hell she will take a day off to go relax with Ann if she knows he is sick. And Ben knows that she really needs the day off.
Closing his eyes, Ben leans to the side against the wooden cabinet that holds a few overstuffed drawers and the sink. The cool tile flooring is soothing against his legs, at least; it makes him a little less nauseous in a way that he knows will disappear the moment he loses that contact.
Okay, temperature. He should check his temperature. Oh god, he’s going to have to separate from the floor. But the floor is his friend. That’s so mean. Damn it, Wyatt, get it together. Gripping the countertop with white knuckles, Ben manages to make it onto his feet despite his wobbly legs and stupid head that somehow feels like it weighs nothing and 500 pounds simultaneously. He uses one arm on the counter to keep him propped up while the other opens the medicine cabinet, retrieving the thermometer and putting it under his tongue.
102.7º.
So that’s not great. Ugh, how is he going to get Leslie to take the day off when he’s like this?
Ben reaches for his phone in the soft depths of his pajama pants pocket. Wait, did he sleep with his phone in his pocket that whole time? When did he grab it? Never mind, not the point.
Jesus Christ, it’s 5:17 AM? It’s been more than 45 minutes? Leslie is definitely going to be up soon and she cannot see him like this. He starts texting Ann:
Hey, when are you planning on coming over? Maybe you should get a head start. I’m sick and Leslie probably won’t want to leave if she sees I’m like this.
To his surprise, it doesn’t take that long to get a response. Or maybe it does? He might just be losing track of time sitting and leaning, curled against the bathroom wall now. How did he get in this position? Whatever.
How sick are you? Is she still asleep?
I have a fever, he leaves it purposefully vague, And yeah, she’s still asleep. Probably won’t be for much longer though. I think if you come over and surprise her by starting with a trip to J.J.'s early for breakfast, she might not notice things with me.
Alright, fine. I’m going to come over.
Thanks. Can you let yourself in with your spare key? I don’t want to get the door.
He doesn’t check for her response. Everything just is all fuzzy, which is a bit of a relief and then there’s a buzzing from his phone and oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck what if Leslie hears--
It’s Ann calling him. He must’ve drifted off to sleep after he texted her. “Hey,” he whispers quietly into the receiver, “What’s going on?”
“I’m downstairs. Where in the house are you?”
“I’m in the upstairs bathroom. I’m decent but I needed to, uh, puke and then I didn’t want to wake her by moving around so--”
“Okay, one sec.”
Ann doesn’t hang up but he hears her light footsteps quickly ascending the stairs before her fingers lightly tap on the door. Ben is relieved to notice that he is already within arm's reach of the door handle, opening it enough to let her in.
Ann winces the moment she gets a look at him, whispering, “Yikes, dude.”
“Thanks,” Ben softly quips, unable to think of anything else to add.
“What’s your temperature?”
“102.7.”
Ann’s frown deepens as she furrows her brow. “Did you get your flu shot this year? It actually has been working against the main strain in Pawnee this time around.”
“Too busy with the campaign,” Ben mumbles, feeling pretty stupid.
“Right, of course,” Ann rolls her eyes. “Well, I still agree that Leslie needs the day off and I’m going to take it with her but you need to take the day off too. I’ll just take you to Chris’ place or something--”
“No!” Ben responds too quickly. There is way too much he has to do on the campaign and knowing Chris, he will just make him lie down, take a gazillion vitamin supplements, and maybe force him to meditate or something. “I mean, um, Chris definitely won’t want to be around me. He’s always so worried about getting sick.”
“Fair enough,” Ann acknowledges. “So then what’s your big plan?”
He closes his eyes, trying to think of who will be the least responsible in this situation and will, indeed, allow him to secretly work… oh! Of course, the people who are the least responsible in pretty much every situation. “My place with April and Andy. I’ll drive there and you’ll tell Leslie I just went there early to get a headstart on campaign work and that I didn’t want to wake her. Tell her to send me a text and I’ll message her back.”
Ann looks unhappy with this idea, “Are you even safe to drive?”
“Yes, I’ll be fine. It’s not that far and if I need to pull over and ask April or Andy to pick me up, I will.”
Ann clenches her jaw locking eyes with Ben. It always strikes him in moments like this how Ann is clearly protecting Leslie by protecting him. It’s like Ann is looking right through Ben. He’s glad she cares about Les, but it can be a little unnerving. “Fine. But I will be contacting them and you every few hours to check in. And you better not even think about working today.”
Ben sighs with relief and relaxes his shoulders and neck. “Okay, yes, that sounds good.” He fumbles a bit as he tries to get up, Ann maintaining a healthy distance once he starts passing her by to grab his stuff and go because quite frankly Ben is absolutely disgusting right now.
Leslie is so excited that she feels like she’s buzzing as she zips over to Ann for a hug, seeing her in the living room first thing in the morning. She already knew that this day was going to be a day off for her with all of her activities being surprises planned by Ann or Ben, but this is so good! She did not expect this and oh my god it was ANN!
I mean she is a little bummed that she didn’t wake up with a certain nerdy campaign manager in her bed, but still--ANN!
Ann explains that Ben went to his place to get a head start working on campaign work, which surprises Leslie. Usually, he can’t get so much work done there because April and Andy are so distracting. Why would he go there? But all thoughts leave her mind the moment Ann says that the first stop of the day would be J.J.’s for breakfast.
“What the hell, Ann, get out of my way; I need to get ready!”
She runs to the shower and gets dressed so fast she doesn’t notice (or care) that her socks don’t match. This day is going to be amazing!