Chapter Text
CA: would you like an opportunity to earn a rock solid i owe you one
CA: cause im in a flippin state here an at this point im outta fuckin options
TT: Why not.
TT: An extra favor or two under my belt wouldn't do any harm.
TT: Gonna need to give me a clearer picture of what you have in mind, bro.
CA: ok so
CA: if you would take the time to imagine a dingy storeroom somewhere to the east of the science hall
CA: then use the additive powers of your imagination to sprinkle on the gratuitous aftermath of your average pub brawl and a decent amount of blood
CA: youd be imagine the predicament im in right now
CA: first an foremost i really need a change of clothin
TT: This is a bold proposal.
TT: I suppose I could work a little elbow grease over what sounds like a minor felony. It wouldn't be the first time I've done something morally questionable.
TT: Change of clothes.
TT: What else?
CA: for the moment all id like is to not look like i just stood aside a flippin meat grinder while it worked its grisly deed
CA: throw in a few wet wipes maybe
CA: im not askin you to help cover up any a this unless im particularly unlucky
TT: It can be done. I'll be bumping it up to two favors in exchange for these wet wipes, though.
TT: See you in ten.
CA: they better be lavender scented you penny pinchin charlatan
CA: ill sit pretty here an try tidyin up the place for you
TT: You'll learn to appreciate my bargaining skills in due time.
TT: Peace.
---
DIRK: [The wipes are in fact lavender scented, because he's nothing if not a people pleasure. He makes sure the clothes are suitable casual-wear before he heads off to the science hall. When he gets close, he knocks twice on the doorframe.]
ERIDAN: [The door swung open sharply before his knuckles even connected the second knock, though only far enough for Eridan to reach a hand through. It was practically all that could be seen of them, except the accusing glare from the crack. Their sleeve was rolled up, though there was the obvious coating of red on the usually shining rings which adorned their fingers.]
ERIDAN: Hand over the goods, if you would.
DIRK: Demanding.
DIRK: You treat me as if I live to fulfill your every whim.
DIRK: [Dirk hands the clothes over anyway, and then the wipes. He distinctly tries not to touch Eridan lest he get blood stained.]
DIRK: Make it fast.
ERIDAN: If you're goin to squeeze two favors outta me, your contribution had better be satisfactory to the bitter end.
ERIDAN: [As soon as everything was handed over, the door snapped shut again, leaving Dirk alone in the hall for another five good minutes.]
DIRK: [This isn't the first time this has happened, so Dirk isn't as vaguely startled as he was before. He's fine to lean against the wall next to the door, arms crossed.]
DIRK: Lavender scented.
DIRK: With moisturizing properties.
ERIDAN: Just what I needed, my skin's goin to be exfoliated to fuck by the time I'm done here. [Came Eridan's slightly muffled reply. In another moment, the door opened fully, and out emerged an Eridan who looked distinctly odd wearing such casual clothing, though they still carried the remains of their previous outfit under one arm.]
ERIDAN: Right, let's get the fuck out of here. It'd be rather annoying to answer questions about being here after hours.
DIRK: [He has excuses up his sleeves if necessary. Being work-oriented usually means he tends to get his head buried in a project for a few hours longer than he's supposed to. The walk out of the building is brisk, and Dirk keeps the pace up until they get to their shared dorm building. ID: out.]
DIRK: You better not have used all of the wipes.
ERIDAN: And if you make me share them, I'm revokin one of the two favors owed.
ERIDAN: It's a fine line you're straddlin, Dirk. You ought to take my generosity with the respect it's due.
DIRK: I would if your threats weren't consistently empty.
DIRK: I think the fact that I so eagerly do what you ask me to ruffles you in some kind of way. You're flattered, maybe, that I'd go through the trouble of remembering to get you extra soft lavender wipes for these "unfortunate accidents".
DIRK: You missed a spot.
ERIDAN: Unfortunate and varied they are.
ERIDAN: Workin within the realm of science will often lead to accidents regardless of your precautions.
ERIDAN: [Upon registering that Dirk must've noticed a speck of blood they hadn't, Eridan stopped to quickly reassess.] Why, what'd I miss?
DIRK: Here.
DIRK: [He uses his thumb, wiping the corner of Eridan's chin. Once he's satisfied, he nods.]
DIRK: Clean.
ERIDAN: [Eridan almost took a step back when Dirk's hand came towards their face, but they merely tensed and allowed him to scrape away the bit of dried blood that had been missed. Once he pulled away, Eridan licked their lip firmly to make sure he'd indeed gotten it all.]
ERIDAN: Very perceptive eyes you've got.
ERIDAN: Who knew you could actually see through those ghastly things.
ERIDAN: Still.
ERIDAN: I appreciate the help, but assumin you were bein sarcastic in your previous remark I think we're done here.
DIRK: I guess we are.
DIRK: And I'm also figuring you're not in need of dinner right now.
ERIDAN: I have NO flippin clue what might give you that idea.
ERIDAN: Save for tryin to wheedle yet another favor outta me.
DIRK: Just assurance.
DIRK: Holler if you need me, bro.
ERIDAN: If I end up havin to put myself in your service for the SECOND TIME in only the span of a few hours, you can rest assured that somethin's gone SUPREMELY wrong, or that one of us isn't goin to make it through to the mornin.
ERIDAN: Or maybe even both, if I don't feel like bein generous.
DIRK: I assume the latter even if neither of us has done anything substantial. That doesn't sound like too big of an issue to me.
DIRK: But point taken.
DIRK: I guess I'll see you in the morning.
ERIDAN: Hmph.
ERIDAN: Not if I have anythin to say about it.
ERIDAN: I make a point to only take classes durin the hours of penumbra
ERIDAN: Look you'll figure out if anythin went screwy soon enough, don't seek me out and DON'T tell anybody what you witnessed.
DIRK: You act as if you don't enjoy me, but I don't see you asking anybody else for these frankly personal favors.
DIRK: [He makes a lip-sealed motion over his mouth, tossing the metaphorical key over his shoulder.]
ERIDAN: Lucky enough for me.
ERIDAN: You're EXACTLY the one to call upon for situations such as these.
ERIDAN: Considerin you never ask too many questions, and usually don't have anythin BETTER to be doin
ERIDAN: [In turn, Eridan made an 'I'm keeping my eyes on you' motion with two fingers, before turning their back on him and taking the branching path down the hall.]
DIRK: [In their books, this was a friendly interaction. Dirk waits until Eridan is completely out of his peripheral to head into his own room. He won't be sleeping anytime soon, occupying his time instead with work that should have gotten done hours ago. If Eridan was right about one thing, it's about Dirk truly not having anything viably better to do.]
ERIDAN: [In a stunning turn of events, the next day started completely normal. Sure, there was no sign of Eridan to be found anywhere but their own room, but this was nothing unusual. It was rare to see them wandering around, especially during the day. It was rather late in the evening when they finally broke their silence. In a rather explosive manner, in fact. Rather than simply text Dirk, as was their usual method, a much more well dressed Eridan now stood outside his door, rapping on the frame with a quick flurry of knocks to try and get his attention, if the words currently floating through the door weren't enough to rouse him, anyway.]
ERIDAN: I KNOW you're in there, Strider, so don't think that ignorin me is goin to keep your sorry ass from what's sorely comin to it.
DIRK: [One of them always found a reason to break the silence eventually, so Dirk saw no issue in keeping to himself for most of the day. He's on his down period when Eridan knocks, wearing a horrendously neon pair of Polo Ralph Laurens (bought purely for clout), and a crew-neck sweatshirt while he lounges on his stiffly made bed. There's some shuffling around before he opens the door, only slightly mussed.]
DIRK: What.
ERIDAN: [There stood Eridan, looking as usual like they'd just stepped out of the theater department still wearing the Victorian waistcoat and ruff. The fact that they WERE in theater was not even an excuse, considering it was exactly the kind of thing they'd wear anyway. The more important thing was the deep scowl etched into their face as they looked at the much less well put together creature who stood in the doorway, though they first pensively around to see if they'd caught anyone's attention in the adjoining apartments. The shouting alone would've done it quite well, but at the moment it seemed like they'd gone unnoticed. No one cared unless you were practically pounding through the walls.]
ERIDAN: Look, I wouldn't be botherin you if it weren't ABSOLUTELY imperative as you know.
ERIDAN: a statement which is becomin looser and looser as it keeps bein used.
ERIDAN: But I overlooked somethin last night which'll get you in hot shit too.
DIRK: Oh, fantastic. It only took you a full twenty-four hours to make this realization.
DIRK: What happened.
ERIDAN: I was sleepin for most of it.
ERIDAN: And it's not somethin I always had to WORRY about.
ERIDAN: You know how cameras work right.
DIRK: You're fucking kidding me.
ERIDAN: It used to work like with explosions an silver crystals and whatever but it all got a lot more complicated as things went on.
ERIDAN: Each can practically make a fuckin movie on their own at this point is the FACT of the matter. And while they don't got em IN the storerooms they've definitely got them ON.
DIRK: You're asking me to wipe college database footage off the record.
DIRK: Casually.
ERIDAN: You CAN do that can't you?
DIRK: You owe me a lifetime of favors.
ERIDAN: I don't owe you fuckin squat, since you'll be wipin away the evidence of your own involvement just as well.
DIRK: You owe me several fucking squats. The fact that this was overlooked is a fuckup on your end.
DIRK: And you dragged me into it.
DIRK: Give me two days.
ERIDAN: Two DAYS.
ERIDAN: I thought you were meant to be some kind of hotshot when it comes to stickin your nose within...
ERIDAN: Well, whatever type of electronics a camera is supposed to be hooked up to nowadays.
DIRK: I need time to formulate when I would be able to make a trip down to get my hands on the equipment personally.
DIRK: It's not some shit I can just waltz right into.
DIRK: Two days is the fastest you'll get.
ERIDAN: I could nab it FOR you if you're goin to take your sweet time with it.
ERIDAN: The luxury of time isn't somethin I have, or somethin I'm wantin to take a gamble on.
DIRK: Then shit, by all means.
DIRK: Do the heavy lifting for me.
ERIDAN: ...
ERIDAN: What exactly IS it I'd be lookin for.
DIRK: That's what I figured.
DIRK: I'm handling this.
ERIDAN: Obviously I can't just walk away from here, leavin the potential fates of both me and yourself up in the air.
ERIDAN: At LEAST do me the service of invitin me in so we can discuss the matter without announcin it to every skeevin eavesdropper who toddles past.
DIRK: [He's hesitant, but he steps away from the door to let Eridan in. He slides right back onto his bed, but sits up just so he can focus on the conversation.]
DIRK: There's nothing else to discuss.
DIRK: I'll get to it tomorrow night if I possibly can.
ERIDAN: ... [There's a rather awkward pause, with Eridan still standing just outside the doorway. They'd put one foot forward as though to enter, but stopped right in place with a frustrated snort.]
ERIDAN: You have to say I can come in.
DIRK: Oh, do I?
DIRK: Say please.
ERIDAN: Neither of us have time for this.
DIRK: [He slightly quirks one eyebrow, but says nothing.]
ERIDAN: [After a few moments, Eridan simply sighed and pushed their glasses up the bridge of their nose. The grimace that was spreading across their face was one of grudging acceptance.]
ERIDAN: May I please come in?
DIRK: Hm.
DIRK: Sure.
DIRK: You may come in.
ERIDAN: [Instantly Eridan was across the threshold, sweeping inside with the door quickly shut behind.] There's really no need to make that harder than it has to be.
ERIDAN: Other than with the unstated purpose of you makin yourself out to be as much of an ass as possible.
ERIDAN: Not like we're on a fuckin timeline or anythin.
DIRK: I don't know what you want me to do here.
DIRK: I need time to map out the building.
DIRK: Scope out the room. See exactly what I'd be working with.
ERIDAN: You can't simply sit back and do it from here.
ERIDAN: I knew it wouldn't be so simple as waltzin in and overexposin a chunk of film but I thought you were supposed to be GOOD at this.
DIRK: It's late.
DIRK: Heading out now would seem more suspicious than if I were waltzing around in the daylight.
ERIDAN: You underestimate just how much people don't give a shit.
ERIDAN: People have classes this late, the lone insomniacs and wanderers reign on high.
ERIDAN: The main problem is gettin caught tryin to get into a place you're not supposed to be, at WHICH POINT you make up a convincin excuse.
ERIDAN: You're clever aren't you, you're chock full of em.
DIRK: And you're going to insist until I relent and make this inconvenient for myself.
DIRK: You better be making free space in your schedule. You are going to be fucking bombarded with mundane favors after this.
ERIDAN: I won't be reduced to your versatile errand boy.
ERIDAN: It's just as much YOUR neck on the line here, you have a vested interest in gettin this done as much as I do.
DIRK: You underestimate my ability to withhold shits to give.
DIRK: If you're insisting, I can try to have it done within the next few hours.
ERIDAN: I DO insist.
ERIDAN: Add me along beside you, if I must.
ERIDAN: It's not like I expect to be much help in an endeavor thoroughly outside my wheelhouse but you CLEARLY want to make due on your inclination and power to boss me about.
DIRK: No offense, but your consistent nagging would only be a hindrance on my fucking mojo.
DIRK: Feel free to tag along if you want a guaranteed bust.
ERIDAN: Fuckin figures.
ERIDAN: After puttin my own damn self on the line for you and all, only to be cast aside as nothin more than a jibberin tagalong.
ERIDAN: [With a frankly unneeded dramatic flair, Eridan crossed their arms and flumped back onto the bed beside Dirk.]
ERIDAN: Fine, be that way, but I'm not goin to be shaken off that easily.
DIRK: Put yourself on the line.
DIRK: What do you think you did for me that would qualify the gratitude you so clearly want.
DIRK: As far as I'm concerned, you just made a big fucking mess.
ERIDAN: It wasn't strictly my fault, dammit.
ERIDAN: An accident to be sure but it could've been a lot worse if it weren't for some quick thinkin and your involvement.
ERIDAN: But a singular slip up an I'm suddenly the cause of all that's awful in the world.
DIRK: You are infuriatingly dramatic.
DIRK: Coming from me it's an achievement, truly.
DIRK: [He gives their arm a singular pat before he's standing, moving to hike on a pair of jeans.]
DIRK: Come on.
ERIDAN: What?
ERIDAN: I thought I was to sit here.
ERIDAN: Let you get your hands dirty and wait for your triumphant return, while I mope about instead of makin things worse.
DIRK: That's the point.
DIRK: You are moping.
DIRK: On my very tiny conscience, I can't have you sulking around my room while I have a job to do.
DIRK: So you're coming with me where you can mope in my peripheral.
ERIDAN: I have absolutely no interest in riflin through your belongins if that what you're tryin to get at.
ERIDAN: Might as well say outright you'd like to keep an eye on me.
ERIDAN: [Still, Eridan rose up from the bed with the same crooked grimace as before.]
DIRK: That wasn't what I was insinuating. But sure, continue with that narrative.
DIRK: [He slides on shoes (crocs), nabbing his phone and keys before he exits the room. He's walking like he's expecting Eridan to follow.]
ERIDAN: [Dogging Dirk's footsteps seemed far more agreeable than sitting back on his bed and waiting for him to return. Eridan followed no more than a few steps behind, even shutting the door before taking two quick steps to walk beside as they made their way down the mostly empty hallway. Eridan did make note of a duo chatting amicably around the next corner.]
ERIDAN: You don't have to speak around the fact.
ERIDAN: When it's already made crystal clear that you're allowin me to come out of some sense of misguided pity.
DIRK: Something like that.
DIRK: I think your whining is borderline pathetic, which is why I'm not going to leave you alone in my room to do it.
DIRK: You'll be useful for lookout, I guess.
ERIDAN: You'll want to lower your voice, speakin of.
ERIDAN: Unless you want to broadcast that we're up to somethin shady to those we walk past.
ERIDAN: But by all means, continue shoutin about how utterly shameful I am, that's sure to deflect any suspicion.
DIRK: I can still tell you're infatuated with me.
DIRK: Asking me for all this help.
DIRK: I'm starting to suspect you got yourself in this situation in the first place so I could fit the knightly role of shucking you out of it.
DIRK: It's alright, bro. I get it.
ERIDAN: Oh PLEASE. That's the same line of reasonin as goin into debt so that the cheeky benefactor can send you another round of cash, with the interest raised.
ERIDAN: Which is to say, NOT THE POINT AT ALL.
ERIDAN: It was SUPPOSED to be a one-off and nothin more so keep your slimy mouth from spewin any more falsities.
DIRK: The fact that you're so defensive about it isn't helping your case.
DIRK: I'm irresistible. It's a fact that many have trouble grasping.
ERIDAN: Have you really stopped to take a look at yourself since you rolled out of bed?
ERIDAN: Considerin you still LOOK as though you just did you might as well be redefinin 'irresistible' to its direct antonym.
DIRK: It's the rumpled charm.
DIRK: [They're nearing the building now. Dirk nudges the doors open with his shoulder and takes a casual glance over his shoulder. He's not too worried about this, but he's just checking.]
DIRK: Alright.
DIRK: Stop talking.
ERIDAN: [Eridan, still looking fairly indignant, barely had to look around before simply declaring.] There's no one close enough to overhear.
ERIDAN: I'll be in charge of tellin you whether to shut up, thanks.
DIRK: Sure you will.
DIRK: [The room holding the recording equipment is around the corner. It's locked, obviously, but Dirk has been through enough questionable scenarios to know that jamming a hair pin with a pointed key end could do the trick.]
DIRK: You got a bobby pin?
ERIDAN: [Even though Eridan gave him a withering look, they reached up to gently pluck a bit of metal out of their hair. The tuft of violet it had been holding back fell into their face even as they handed it over.]
ERIDAN: Moment of fuckin truth, I suppose.
ERIDAN: Never before have I had to fall to such a depraved version of petty thievery.
DIRK: Convenient that you have such a fucking delinquent for a friend, then, isn't it?
DIRK: [He sticks it into the hole, jiggling it a little before he gets the long end of the key in with it. He shoves the bobby pin forward, and with a chnk, the knob turns. He grabs the bobby pin out of the lock and turns, tucking it right back into Eridan's hair.]
DIRK: Easy.
ERIDAN: I wouldn't describe it as luck.
ERIDAN: More like a judge of character that unfortunately doesn't stop me from gettin somewhat friendly.
ERIDAN: [They cross their arms and lean against the wall, keeping half an eye on Dirk's work, but also casting their senses out to check whether anyone were approaching. It seemed late enough that the wanderers were few and far between, but there was always the chance they could be caught in the throng of a late class being let out. When the door gently creaked open, Eridan took the pin in turn and started to fix their hair.]
DIRK: [It's time to focus now. He waves his hand dismissively in Eridan's direction, surveying the room. There were screens that were turned off, likely meant to project footage, along with other miscellaneous appliances. He sits himself down in a provided, admittedly creaky chair, then taps the doorframe.]
DIRK: I'm going to shut this.
DIRK: Give me twenty minutes.
ERIDAN: [Eridan made an affirmative noise, still trying to smooth their hair back into place, though without a mirror handy it was proving annoying.]
ERIDAN: I suppose then the task falls to me to protect you from any errant film students.
ERIDAN: Or the proper officials.
ERIDAN: Point of the matter is, if you hear two resoundin knocks dont go comin out until I give you the go-ahead.
DIRK: Authoritative.
DIRK: Sexy, even.
DIRK: I'll be two clicks.
DIRK: [And then he shuts the door. He needs to focus or else he's going to fuck something up (which, admittedly, might not be hard to do in this type of situation).]
ERIDAN: [Leaving Eridan, once again, alone on the other side of the door. As soon as they were done messing with their hair they simply crossed their arms and leaned against the doorframe, muttering under their breath.] Didn't even offer to let me inside, I could've helped dammit. But no, I'm stuck on guard duty. And he's probably goin to take his time just to piss me off...
DIRK: [It's eighteen minutes and some change when Dirk finally opens the door. The process wasn't all too bad, but he did have to do a few extra 'cleaning routines' just to make sure neither he nor Eridan were going to get traced back to this. He locks and shuts the door quietly, then bumps Eridan's shoulder with his elbow.]
DIRK: Alright.
DIRK: Let's ditch.
ERIDAN: [Eridan raised an eyebrow at him. They hadn't moved at all from their spot, but they had stopped grumbling after a few minutes of solitude.]
ERIDAN: No troubles to report?
ERIDAN: No questions to raise? Not so much as a single complaint to be had about the trickiness of destroyin film evidence?
DIRK: No.
DIRK: Because I'm not a talentless hack.
ERIDAN: You'll have to explain further once we're not right in the middle of the main flippin hallway.
DIRK: There's nothing to explain.
DIRK: Deleting security footage isn't the most difficult thing in the world.
DIRK: [Dirk walks along again with the same disregard for if Eridan was following or not. His hands are shoved into the pockets of his hoodie, nonchalant.]
ERIDAN: [Eridan scoffs quietly, but follows as was expected. They weren't going to be left behind, after all. After a few moments, Eridan suddenly grabs Dirk's shoulder in warning, stopping in their tracks as they tried to turn him around.]
ERIDAN: Someone's comin from that way.
ERIDAN: It's not like we're not allowed to BE here, but I'd prefer not havin more eyes boring into a potential alibi.
DIRK: [He stops, if begrudgingly. There weren't may exits to the building since it was so small, so it didn't surprise him that someone was coming in from the one place they needed to get out.]
DIRK: Then what do you propose we do, here.
ERIDAN: [Eridan was still impatiently tugging on his arm, though they didn't force him to move anywhere, their grip was like iron.] Find a dark niche and wait for em to pass, unless YOU would like to take charge of explainin why we decided to take a midnight stroll.
DIRK: [Right, easy enough. Dirk tugs his arm out of Eridan's grip only to grab their wrist. He moves towards the left instead, situating the two of them in a dead-end corridor that had nothing more than a utility closet towards the back. Dirk jiggles the knob, only to find it unlocked. Simple enough.]
DIRK: Get in.
ERIDAN: That doesn't exactly count as an invitation- [Eridan once again offered the complaint before complying, like usual. The inside of the closet was crowded with supplies that looked like they hadn't been needed in a while, underlaid with a harsh chemical smell which made their nose crinkle up in disgust. Nevertheless, Eridan made room for Dirk as it became more obvious a set of footsteps was quickly approaching the end of the corridor.]
DIRK: [Dirk shuts the door tight once he slips inside, keeping his palm pressed flat against the wood lest somebody try to jiggle the knob again. Their knees are bumping, which is less than optimal, but it's better than being within sight range. Dirk doesn't say anything, just takes a shallow breath and tries to listen to the footsteps.]
ERIDAN: [It was dark, too. The only light in the entire room filtered in from the crack under the door, which even for Eridan wasn't enough to see by. The fact that Dirk was so close, what with his breathing and incredibly annoying heartbeat, made it difficult to listen further from the confines of the room.]
ERIDAN: Well, I can't say I expected this is how my night would end up.
ERIDAN: Second time in a matter of days, trapped within the confines of a chamber with someone gettin entirely too much in my space.
DIRK: We're both frazzled.
DIRK: I never thought I'd have to situate myself comfortable back in the closet.
DIRK: Move your fucking knees, I can feel you stabbing into my skin.
ERIDAN: Psh.
ERIDAN: Interestin choice of words, you DO have a way with em.
ERIDAN: [They try to re-situate, moving further backwards until they were practically sitting on a floor polisher, though in the process they knocked their elbow on something in the dark, which made them hiss a swear under their breath.]
DIRK: [The footsteps seem to be fading, but Dirk is nonetheless cautious. They can't really do much in there aside from stand, which is proving to be difficult with all this shit in the way. He leans forward more so the end of a broom wasn't jamming between his shoulder blades.]
DIRK: The shit you get me into.
DIRK: I should ask for a new roommate.
ERIDAN: And risk gettin someone even worse than I?
ERIDAN: Are you willin to take that gamble truly?
ERIDAN: Next thing you'll find yourself dodgin the law at the bottom of a well while the moon's hangin far overhead.
ERIDAN: Honestly though what else did you fuckin expect?
DIRK: From you? Who knows.
DIRK: I think they're gone.
ERIDAN: Move your ass outta the way and let me listen before you make any unfounded claims like THAT.
DIRK: By all means.
DIRK: Get up in my space some more.
ERIDAN: [And they do, bumping Dirk out of the way with their hip as they put their ear to the door to listen intensely, but they still grimaced after a moment.]
ERIDAN: Mind standin back a little more.
ERIDAN: You're very distractin
DIRK: I don't see how I could possibly be interfering with this.
ERIDAN: With your charm and and general irresistability.
ERIDAN: No what do you THINK.
ERIDAN: ...
ERIDAN: I think they're gone.
DIRK: I fucking told you.
DIRK: Let's bounce.
ERIDAN: Forgive me if I'm not goin to take your word as infallible.
ERIDAN: As it is I can barely stand half of the bile which spills from your treacherous lips.
ERIDAN: [Still, Eridan quietly tried the door and peered out, only to be greeted with nothing more than an empty hallway. The danger evidently had passed.]
DIRK: Talk about my lips some more, bro. It really helps solidify your point about how much you despise me.
DIRK: [A gentle nudge is given to Eridan's shoulders, Dirk taking (yet again) the initiative of stepping out. He still doesn't bother to check if Eridan is following, which seems like a poor habit now.]
ERIDAN: [At some point he's just going to keep walking on, not realizing he's talking to air until he actually looks over his shoulder. Unfortunately, given the lack of exits in the building, Eridan is forced once more to allow him to take the lead.]
ERIDAN: The POINT was.
ERIDAN: Havin an extra sense of caution isn't goin to end up your downfall.
DIRK: I'm antsy to wrap this shit show up.
DIRK: Next time my involvement is going to be more limited. I'll use a mechanical claw to deliver your lavender wet wipes.
ERIDAN: So long as you're deliverin them with punctuality and ease then you can find a way to wave them into existence if you must. As it is, I think I've fallen too far into the throes of indebtitude to be requestin ANYTHIN with a clear conscious. [They were only about half focused on the conversation, the other part of them making sure that there was no one in their path to the exit. Which thankfully didn't crop up with any annoyances this time. Eridan opened the door and led the way back into the brisk night air.]
DIRK: [Dirk dignifies it only with a monotone hum of acknowledgment. It's been a tiring two days, but he figures that's what he gets for sticking with a roommate that has less than normal living tendencies. His elbow knocks against their ribs as they enter the dorm, sliding his hand into his pocket for his keys.]
DIRK: I'll consider this score mostly settled if you buy me a coffee in the morning.
DIRK: Large.
ERIDAN: [Rubbing their side irritably, Eridan closed the door behind and dignified it with the click of a lock.] This is exactly what I told you I wasn't goin to stoop to.
ERIDAN: It was MEANT to be an acknowledgement that I'm saddled with a fantastical IOU, rather than be designated with every minor task that you're too lazy to accomplish.
DIRK: Unlike you, I don't think I have anything as dramatic as an emergency bloody clothes-swap. I'm a simple man with simple needs.
DIRK: Most of which revolve around my caffeine intake.
DIRK: I take it iced with sweetener.
ERIDAN: You can't dignify that with a scale is the PROBLEM. How long am I goin to be bravin the mornin hours to bring you your simple mornin drink?
ERIDAN: At what point does it add up to an equilibrium?
DIRK: You're missing my offer.
DIRK: The simple action of getting me a coffee once, in my mind, will suffice for all this convoluted bullshit you dragged me through on a Friday night.
DIRK: Just one.
ERIDAN: Well.
ERIDAN: That's hardly fair isn't it.
ERIDAN: But if you insist on it, you're drawin your own short end of the bloody stick.
DIRK: I'm giving you an easy out.
DIRK: I can make this much more difficult on you.
ERIDAN: No, really. By all fuckin means throw me your lowball task with no nuance to trip over.
ERIDAN: The feelin of you holdin some great terrible deed over my head is not one that I'm THRILLED with so I'm fine with reachin an end to this arrangement as fast as possible.
DIRK: I figured as much.
DIRK: Then my coffee request still stands. Preferably before noon, but I know you have a tendency to leisure until you can sulk under the moonlight.
DIRK: Need anything else, or am I favor-free for the night?
ERIDAN: Considerin I usually take my leave at seven on the morn, you're goin to have to wake up bright and early to reap the benefits.
ERIDAN: No I am not forgoin sleep just to bring it to you on YOUR schedule.
DIRK: A true shame.
DIRK: I thought you didn't need sleep. Something about vampiristic meditation.
ERIDAN: I don't know how you could tote such a wrong assumption around as fact.
ERIDAN: Sure I've got my fuckin tendencies but you're just makin a whole mockery of both them and me.
DIRK: It's not like I have any other firsthand experience.
DIRK: Before freshman year you were a complete myth.
ERIDAN: Well, I wouldn't want to ruin any conceptions that you've cemented as truth over the ages.
ERIDAN: Who knows, some of em might not even be utterly false. I'm sure you'll revert back to them anyway even if I told you otherwise. [With an obvious air of indignation, Eridan marched back to their room with the air that they were quite finished for the night.]
DIRK: [Which is just fine by him. Dirk, now properly exhausted from having to put himself out like that, goes to bed after meandering about his room for awhile picking up miscellaneous bits of laundry. He opts not to go to his singular class that day in favor of working more on his personal assignments.]
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