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"Come on brooo, it'll be fun," Benrey whined as he poked at Gordon's sides. The duo were sitting on the couch in Gordon's apartment, phone in Gordon's hand and Benrey's eyes locked on him. "Please go to the concert with your bestest friend Benny."
"Benrey, I don't - stop that - I don't really know this band. Plus it's such short notice…" Gordon tapped his phone a few times. "And on a weeknight, no less. I gotta get laundry done, man."
"Tommy already cancelled on me, I need a plus one so I don't look like a nerd." Benrey's eyes sparkled like a puppy as he patted Gordon's arm gently, much like a cat would. "Please please please, I never ask before." Gordon turned to face Benrey, face quizzical.
"Tommy canceled on you?"
"Yeah," Benrey said. "Darnold got sick real bad so Tommy is taking care of him and I already bought two tickets."
"Can't you just sell 'em or something?"
"It's too late for that, dude, and I, uh-" Benrey's eyes darted to the floor and back to Gordon. They tried to keep their voice as level and calm as possible. "Was kinda hoping you'd come. Since Tommy can't. You know."
"Hm…" Gordon mulled over the idea in his head. "Who's gonna watch Joshua?"
"Uh. Bubby and Coomer. Obviously. Joshie always loves hanging with the peepaws."
"I'd feel bad springing this on them so soon," Gordon said, scratching the back of his head.
"I don't, lol." Benrey snatched Gordon's phone and opened the messaging app, quickly typing.
"Hey! Hey give that back," Gordon laughed, trying to grab his phone back from the thief. Benrey, however, with his incredible gamer brain, anticipated the oncoming attack, and maneuvered strategically to keep the phone from Gordon.
"Nuh uh, not done yet," Benrey laughed back. "Gee, and you say I'm short, baby Gordon can't even reach his phone."
"Dude shut up," Gordon smiled as he playfully punched Benrey in the stomach - not enough to hurt, but enough to knock Benrey back down a peg. Gordon took the opportunity to steal his phone back, and he lifted it up triumphantly. "Ha! Got it!"
"Too late, already hit send!" Benrey stuck his tongue out at Gordon. "Now you gotta go out with me."
"Yeah, I guess I gotta-" Gordon blinked a few times as he processed what Benrey said. " Go out with you? "
"Oh! Uh, wuh, I mean," Benrey stammered, face starting to burn.
"Ohhh, I see. Gay little Benrey, huh? Want to go on a concert date with me, right?" Gordon teased.
"Huh? Wuh? N-no, never said that. What are you talking about?" Benrey backtracked. He swallowed some sweet voice back into his throat with a dry gulp.
"Calm down, dude, I'm just teasing you." Gordon laughed, elbowing Benrey's arm. "How's a taste of your own medicine, huh?" Benrey slowly blinked at Gordon.
"... purple?"
Gordon burst out laughing, bending over and holding back tears. Benrey smiled and his eyes fell half lidded as he watched Gordon fall into a laughing fit. They loved to see Gordon so lively and playful. It was part of what he lov- er- liked about him. And Gordon's laugh… well, Benrey hoped he could keep bringing out that sunny part of Gordon over and over again. They could listen to that laugh for all eternity.
"Okay, okay, okay," Gordon said after a few deep breaths. "Come on, we need to get ready."
---
"Heeey, what's up, Tommy," Benrey asked, munching on a donut as he entered Tommy's office. "You wanted to see me before my shift?"
"Oh!" Tommy looked up from his paperwork. "Yes, Benrey I wanted to talk- to talk about the test today. Dr. Mallard called in sick."
"Figures, dude always slacks off." Benrey swallowed the last bite of his donut and sat in the chair across from Tommy.
"Yeah, he uh, he's not the best at- at keeping up with things." Tommy tapped his pen on his desk rhythmically. "So such short notice we had to call in someone from the physics department to help." Benrey's eyebrows rose a bit.
"Physics department?"
"Yeah," Tommy smiled, barely able to hold in his excitement. "Dr. Gordon Freeman."
"Tommy." Benrey started to feel his body warm up. "Are you serious, dude, Gordon Freeman?"
"Yeah! And you're stationed to- to bring him down here so he doesn't get lost," Tommy winked.
"Oh god," Benrey moaned. "Did you set this up?" Ever since Benrey mentioned his little- well, not crush, crush would be weird, right? They had just noticed Gordon- Tommy had been trying to find sly ways to get the two of them to interact. Looks like Tommy finally found a way to make it happen that Benrey couldn't chicken out of. Not that Benrey got so nervous around Gordon they could barely formulate a coherent thought, of course not. No way.
"It may have been my, uh, suggestion to bring Freeman aboard, yeah." Tommy smiled as he chewed on his pen, eyes crinkling up in joy.
"Dude, I've barely even spoken to him. I don't wanna… screw this up. Make it lame or anything."
"Don't worry about it, Ben. Just be, uh, be yourself. Show him you're- show him you're funny. Just try not to make it awkward or screw with him too much."
"Ha, no promises," Benrey chuckled.
"You're gonna do great, I promise." Tommy smiled at Benrey sincerely. Benrey turned his head a bit and looked into Tommy's brown eyes. Everything about Tommy was always so sincere. Benrey wasn't like that, it was easier for them to joke and deflect topics that made them uncomfortable. Tommy's ability to be open and connect with others was something Benrey always admired- it was what saved them from being a test subject, in fact. Tommy advocated for Benrey's rights along with Bubby and Dr. Coomer, but unlike them, had more power to change things. Tommy was a good friend in every sense of the word, heck, Tommy was family to Benrey. They all were.
"I'm going to go get a soda for lunch, but I'll see you after the test."
"Sure thing bud," Benrey said. Tommy rose from his chair and gave Benrey a few pats on the shoulder.
"Everything's gonna be fine. I-I'm sure of it." Benrey smiled and turned to leave. "O-oh, one more thing!"
"Hm? Yeah?" Benrey turned again to face Tommy.
"Can you make sure he has his ID? I've been hearing rumors of someone leaking bits of important Black Mesa intel, we're working on figuring-uh, finding the mole right now." Benrey gave Tommy a wink and finger gun.
"Sure thing."
---
"We're here," Gordon said as he unbuckled his seatbelt. Benrey fiddled with the mirror buttons as he observed the line to the venue. "Dude stop messing with the mirrors, it's annoying."
"Looks like a real party. Might be, uh, some funky lighting in there, you think?"
"Oh, uh." Gordon's face turned from annoyed to concerned. "Guess we should have thought of that. You could just tell everyone it's makeup. Something fun for the concert."
"Would it be weird if I was the only one?"
"I don't think so, besides, they might not even have any blacklights in there. And it's not like Black Mesa is even still around, so I don't think you have anything to worry about."
"Mm, guess not." Benrey patted his legs a few times and took a deep breath. He didn't know why he felt so nervous. Tons of people had seen his pattern at Black Mesa. Then again, tons of people at Black Mesa were dead. It would be different if it was just them and Tommy, or them, Gordon, and Joshua. But just them and Gordon Freeman alone had so much more… pressure to it. Benrey knew why, but he didn't want to think about it.
"Hey," Gordon placed his hand on Benrey's shoulder. "Everything's gonna be fine." Benrey's eyes widened a bit.
"W- wuh?"
"Come on, let's go already," Gordon smiled, opening the car door. Benrey followed suit, and the pair headed toward the venue entrance.
---
Tommy was wrong- everything was not fine. A resonance cascade ripped apart Black Mesa, unzipping the fabric of the universe and sewing it back together with Xen's. In the rapid chaos unfolding, Benrey had one goal: Protect his family no matter the cost.
Black Mesa and most of its personnel didn't matter to Benrey, or the rest of the Science Team for that matter. Benrey was ripped from his home planet and tested mercilessly on, Dr. Coomer was practically more robot than human from his cybernetic replacements, Bubby was Black Mesa's original pet project before Benrey came along, and Tommy had been treated as an outcast by most of his peers during his residence at the facility. They all had their bone to pick with Black Mesa, one way or another. Now more than ever, they needed to protect each other to finally escape and live their lives free of Black Mesa's clutches.
Which is why Gordon had to go.
"I'm telling you, he's the spy," Benrey said, hot on Bubby's heels. The pair were moving down the halls, ahead of the rest of the team to talk in private.
"Benrey, I highly doubt that, also, why are you telling me this and not Tommy?" Bubby replied.
"Tommy wouldn't believe me. He's too nice. Trusting. Sweet n all."
"Tommy is indeed a sweetheart but that doesn't answer my question."
"Because… you're like the smartest person ever. Figured you'd know what to do."
"Yeah, slap him on the ass," Bubby joked.
"What are you two talking about?!" Gordon yelled from down the hall.
"Nothing!" Bubby yelled back, then turned to speak to Benrey again. "Benrey, I think this is ridiculous, Gordon is helping us."
"Is he though?" Benrey crossed his arms and turned his gaze to the floor. "He comes in here, no ID on the day he screws up the whole facility, runs us around in circles, gets angry and defensive when I accuse him of doing bad stuff… it's very suspicious to me."
"I suppose that all is rather a lot to be coincidence," Bubby said as he stroked his chin. "Still doesn't mean he's up to something. Gordon does seem a little frazzled."
"Bubby." Benrey's voice dropped low and serious, his eyes showing a hint of pain. "I wouldn't be saying this if I wasn't worried for us. I… like Gordon. But this is for our safety. It's my job to guard us. You're... my family."
"Hmmm…" Bubby crossed his arms, tapping his fingers on the sides a few times. Benrey had a tendency to run a bit paranoid, not unlike himself, which was not unusual considering the past horrors done to the both of them. With the Science Team so close to freedom, was it really worth taking a chance on a guy they barely knew? "I'll tell you what, let's keep an eye on him for now. If he gets to a point where he's a threat, then we're rid of him. Sounds good?" Benrey nodded furiously.
"Sounds good."
---
Gordon was right- everything was fine. In true concert fashion, many of the fans were dressed in costumes, decked out with face paint, or overall drawing attention to themselves somehow. Benrey wasn’t out of place at all, illuminated under the blacklight show lights.
“Dude, wicked face paint,” a stranger complimented.
“Wuh?” Benrey could barely hear over the noise. “Uh, thanks.”
“See dude, I told you it was going to be okay. You’re like one of the most normal people here,” Gordon said as he wrapped his arm around Benrey’s shoulder. Benrey blushed a little.
“Yeah, maybe except for you, Gordon Lameman. Didn’t even go all out for the show.”
“Yeah well,” Gordon tugged at his MIT sweatshirt a little. “I prefer comfort over style.”
“Yeah, it shows.”
“Uh, says the guy that wears a hoodie and chullo everywhere.”
“Oof, ouch, ya got me there Gordon,” Benrey laughed. The two grabbed a couple of drinks - water for Gordon, an energy drink for Benrey - and moved into the pit.
“Hey, what did you say this band was called again?” Gordon asked.
“Uhhhh… Skelepop. They’re like hyperpop and hard rock mixed.”
“Ha!” Gordon laughed. “That sounds like you. Wonder why you were even so nervous in the first place, there’s tons of skeleton stuff in here.”
“Yeah, I dunno.” Benrey smiled. This was good! Things were going good. They wanted to be able to hang out one on one with Gordon, and it seemed like he was enjoying it too. Maybe one day they’d hang out on a date. Benrey didn’t want to get ahead of themself, but they couldn’t help but wonder.
---
"Okay so, uh, I may have messed up big time," Benrey said, scratching at his forehead.
"If by 'messed up bigtime'... you mean… 'removed Mr. Freeman's arm… rendering him defenseless… and… sealing Earth's fate of destruction' then… yes, Benrey… you have messed up bigtime," Mr. Coolatta said. His face was stone, but his stress seeped through from his white knuckle grip on his briefcase. Benrey was trapped in some kind of frozen time state with Mr. Coolatta, and they had a feeling they weren't going to get out of it easily.
"Yeah um. Major lapse of judgement. Sorry."
"Sorry… does not fix this…" Mr. Coolatta's eyes narrowed. "Mm but… there is a way for you to… turn the tide of our situation… so to speak."
"Okay, uh. What do I do?"
"Understand this is… most dire. In his current state… Dr. Freeman cannot defeat the Nihilanth… the… 'Science Team' will perish… but you cannot remain dead permanently… therefore you must destroy it yourself…"
"Sounds. Hard." Benrey wrung his hands nervously.
"It is a sacrifice… that must be made… destroy the beast… this is the only way for everyone to survive…"
“The only way? Like out of all the ways it can go?”
“Indeed… in order for the timeline to be corrected… you must become the final boss… so to speak.”
"I don’t want to be bad!" Benrey choked out. "I’ve already screwed everything up once. If I do this everyone is going to hate me!"
"My dear… Benrey… everyone already does."
Benrey's heart sunk into his stomach. It was true. Gordon was hurt beyond repair, and the Science team was broken apart all because of him. The Nihilanth was an incredible being with intense psychic powers. Killing it would not only be difficult, but incredibly dangerous. Who knew what effects it could have on Benrey? Sure, they'd come back if they died, but could whatever happens to their mind or body be permanent? Could they lose control of themself forever? There was no way to know for sure. If it was the only way to save everyone, though, Benrey decided it had to be done. They had to be bad for the greater good.
---
“Oh, I totally scored big time!” Benrey said as twirled his freshly snatched t-shirt out of the air. “Got the singer’s shirt, man. This thing is gonna be worth like, a billion gazillion dollars. Gonna pay for Joshie’s college with this one.”
“I doubt that!” Gordon laughed, trying to project his voice above the harsh music around him. It wasn’t easy with the concert practically bleeding sounds into his ears. He swore he could taste the acidic colors searing his skin. Halfway through the show, the stimuli began to become unbearable. No wonder he never went to many concerts.
“Benrey, I’m going to step outside!” Gordon yelled.
“Aw, what? Come on dude, don’t be lame and leave me here by myself!” Benrey yelled back, dancing very much like you’d expect a dying animal hit by a car would convulse.
“No, seriously, I’m getting overwhelmed!” Benrey stopped dancing and looked at Gordon’s face for a few seconds.
“Okay! Just hurry back, bro! Don’t want to miss too much!”
“Sure thing!” Gordon replied. He began pushing through various bodies, eyes set on the back door of the venue. He was met with several grunts and shoves before finally reaching the door, leading out to the alley behind the venue building. Gordon took a deep breath and exhaled. The night was cool now, air feeling damp and calming on his skin. Despite the vibrations emanating from the building behind him, the alley was quiet. The building must hold sound well, he figured. Gordon wondered if anyone could hear him from the inside. A chill ran up Gordon’s spine suddenly as he thought about it. Maybe he should go around to the front of the building where there were more people. Before he could turn around and reenter the building, the door suddenly opened and was shut quickly. Gordon didn’t recognize the man in front of him, but he figured he was just another one of the fans of the band coming outside to take a breather.
“Hey man, mind letting me through?” Gordon asked. The stranger scowled and dug into his pocket, pulling out a pocket knife and pointing it at Gordon. Gordon cautiously put his hands up and backed up a few steps. The man slowly kept pace with Gordon, moving in closer. “Woah! Hey, I don’t want any trouble, I just want to get back in.”
“Shut up.”
"D-do you want my wallet or something? You can have it," Gordon stammered as he dug in his pocket. The man suddenly lunged forward, still pointing the knife at Gordon.
"I said shut up, man!" he yelled, pushing Gordon up against the wall. One arm was pressed into Gordon's chest, and the other held the knife to Gordon's throat. "If you say one more word I'm going to slit your throat, I swear to god." Gordon swallowed thickly. Of course this would happen to him, just his luck.
"I'm only going to say it once, so pay attention. You're going to take me to your car, and you're going to get in and drive where I tell you. Got it?" the stranger growled. Gordon opened his mouth, but the stranger pressed the blade in a little deeper. Gordon could feel a small trickle of blood start to run down his throat. "No talking. I mean it."
Gordon's mind started to run at 100 miles per hour. He escaped all of Black Mesa's seven layers of hell, and for what? To die in some alleyway or god knows where-else at the hands of some stranger? Oh god, he's out here by himself, Joshua and Benrey wouldn't even know where he went or what happened to him-
Benrey!
Gordon started frantically pleading in his mind that Benrey would notice something was wrong, or maybe they just wanted to check in, something, anything that would get Benrey outside. Please, please, please don't avoid me now , Gordon begged.
"Alright, let's g-" The heavy SLAM of the door opening grabbed both the mens' attention. In the doorway stood a ghastly shape, painted into death itself by the blacklight behind them. The door slammed shut, and a low growl echoed in the alleyway, piercing blue and gray eyes locked on their target.
Benrey ! Gordon thought.
Benrey growled and breathed heavily, body rigid and predatory. Gordon's veins were collecting shards of ice, each second of waiting for something to happen more painful then the last. The blade pulled from his throat ever so slightly. Benrey suddenly phased through the floor, dropping straight down into it. The stranger pulled away from Gordon.
"What the hell?!" A few seconds passed and Benrey clipped through the wall, using his momentum to grab the stranger’s arm, slinging him up and then slamming him onto the ground. The stranger cried out in pain upon impact. Gordon fell to the floor in shock, and tried to scoot away from the scene unfolding in front of him. Benrey loomed over the stranger, leaning down to grab his shirt and pull him closer.
“W-what are you?” he stammered. Benrey smiled, and his body started to peel apart from his skeleton in a grotesque form of power. Once separated, Benrey went to help Gordon, and the skeleton was left gripping the now thoroughly terrified criminal, shaking and panting like a small dog.
“I’m his security guard,” the skeletal beast growled in a garbled voice akin to rocks tumbling and scraping together.
“And I’m.
Not.
Human.”
Benrey’s skeleton threw the stranger back to the ground and he shuffled back to his feet and ran away. The skeleton walked over to Benrey, who was kneeled down trying to calm Gordon, and began to fuse back to their body. They could tell from Gordon’s face that he was shaken up from the whole experience.
“B-Benrey, don’t-” he begged.
“Shh, it’s okay Gordon,” Benrey reassured him. “No more scary stuff. I promise. We can go home now. Calm down for Benny, please? Copy my breathing dude.” Gordon slowed his breaths down to mimic Benrey, and eventually was calm enough to stand up and talk again. He leaned into Benrey, needing them to hold him up, as his legs were still shaking.
“Thanks, Benrey… thank you.”
“No problem, let’s get out of here.”
---
Benrey laid in the shallow pool of Xen water, only sound in his ears was their own labored breathing. Destroying the Nihilanth took so much out of them already, and it's psychic powers scrambled Benrey’s mind like a cracked egg on the sidewalk. They couldn’t entirely remember what had happened yet, but they knew they were defeated by the Science Team and Gordon.
Gordon… they had done so much harm to Gordon in such a short period of time. That tie had to have been severed forever. No doubt about that. What were they even thinking? Gordon being a spy? He was the most genuine person Benrey had ever met. Of course everything seems so obvious in hindsight, doesn’t it?
A soft sound of splashing pulled Benrey from their thoughts. Someone was walking closer, but Benrey couldn’t be bothered to look and see who it was. Their body felt a flash of panic when they saw Gordon leaning over them. Benrey swallowed thickly. They didn’t have any strength left to fight or run. Gordon pressed his lips together and kneeled down, hovering over Benrey. He looked into Benrey’s eyes for a moment, looking like he was contemplating something. Benrey couldn’t even imagine what he could have been thinking. They didn’t want to know.
Gordon finally moved. His hand stalled near Benrey’s throat for a second, before moving in and slowly starting to choke him. The pressure on their throat kept increasing as Gordon’s tears fell. Benrey didn’t try to fight it. They deserved this. They know that. If this was the last time they saw Gordon, though, he needed to know. Benrey slowly, painfully, lifted his arm up and stroked the side of Gordon’s face as gently as they could.
I’m sorry .
Gordon released the pressure on Benrey’s throat, eyes overrun with tears. He was breathing heavily, choking and coughing from his crying. Gordon finally stood up, rubbing the tears from his reddened face, and spoke.
“I really liked you, you know that?”
And with that, Gordon walked away, leaving Benrey to sink in his pool of regret.
---
“I’m almost done, I prommy,” Benrey said as he wiped Gordon’s throat with an alcoholic wipe. “I know it mega sucks, but it’ll probably heal fine.”
“Thanks, Benrey.” Gordon said, slumping on the toilet seat. Benrey was kneeled on the floor, carefully tending to Gordon’s admittedly minor wound. He was glad to have escaped the situation with relatively little damage. Benrey was insistent on caring for it, though, and Gordon decided not to resist. It was nice to see a softer side of Benrey. “Why didn’t you use your teal green heal beam thing, though?” Benrey stopped dead in his tracks.
“I uh. Forgot I can do that,” Benrey replied blankly. Gordon started to howl with laughter.
“You forgot about your healing powers?”
“Dude, I forget about stuff all the time. ‘S just part of being me,” Benrey chuckled back. They placed a bandaid on Gordon’s neck and gave it a little pat for good measure. “Good as new.”
“Thanks again, you kind of saved my ass back there.” Gordon gently touched the bandaid. “How did you know I was in trouble? Did you hear me thinking about you?”
“No, actually, I-” Benrey stopped. “You were thinking about me?”
“Dude, so not the point,” Gordon laughed, rolling his eyes.
“Ha, well, I saw the weird guy leave after you, and at first I thought nothing of it, but then I was like, well maybe I should check on you. Then I saw him threatening you through the door window and I just-” Benrey made a small explosion sound with his mouth. “-kinda blew up angry at him. Came in to protect you. I’m… sorry.”
“Sorry?” Gordon turned his head in confusion. “What are you sorry for? I can usually fend for myself and all, but he jumped me. I needed the help.”
“No, no, I don’t think you’re weak.” Benrey nervously scratched at his face. “Didn’t want to scare you. Make you think I was going to hurt you again. With all my uh, freaky alien stuff.”
“Ah, I gotcha. You’re fine, I promise.”
“I’m not though,” Benrey said as he looked up to the ceiling and took a deep breath. “I never… said I was sorry. I mean. Outloud. To you. For… you know. Everything.” Gordon’s face suddenly became unreadable. He took a deep breath, laced his hands together, and looked at Benrey.
“Well? Go on then.”
“I. Um. Well,” Benrey stammered. They weren’t entirely expecting Gordon to give them the chance to say sorry. They always assumed Gordon didn’t want to talk about it- they certainly didn’t. “I messed up a lot. I thought you were a bad guy. And you weren’t.” Oh god, they were really doing this.
“So I had to go and fix everything even though I knew it would make everyone hate me. And I said you made me bad, but that’s not true.” Benrey drew in a shaky breath. Could Gordon really forgive them after all this? Doubt began to creep in.
“I did that myself. And I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I’ve been trying hard to be good ever since. Because you deserve that.” Benrey fiddled with the bandages in his hand, trying to avoid eye contact. They didn’t want to see Gordon’s face filled with rage before he inevitably threw them out the house and they never saw each other again. They shouldn’t have brought it up, opening old wounds was going to destroy whatever little bit of a relationship they had started to build. This was a mistake, the whole thing was a mistake. Benrey tried their hardest to suppress the panic and various colors rising in them.
“Benrey I…” Gordon paused. “Frankly I don’t really care why you did it.”
“W-wuh?”
“I- let me explain. It doesn’t matter now what you were thinking. You nearly killed me. You got my hand cut off. That is never going away.”
“I- I- Gordon-”
“Benrey just. Let me finish please.” Gordon closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know you’ve been trying to be better. You’ve been doing a great job with me and Joshua. I can tell you’re putting the effort into repairing this. And I forgive you.” Benrey let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “But I have a right to be angry about what happened, you understand that, right?” Benrey nodded.
“Good… good. Healing is a process, Benrey. It’s going to take time before this doesn’t hurt anymore.” Gordon took Benrey’s hands into his own. “You have no idea how much I appreciate your apology and your actions prove you’re genuine about it. So… basically… it’s not okay right now, but it’s going to be okay between us one day. You get what I’m trying to say?”
“Y-yeah… I think so.”
“Good,” Gordon smiled. “I’m glad you do.”
“Can I… hug you?” Benrey asked. Gordon smiled and pulled Benrey in for a hug. Benrey squeezed Gordon as close as he could. Of all the ways it could have gone, Benrey was glad it went like this. It would take some time and effort on both their parts, but things were going to be okay eventually. That was a promise.