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It’s not like Willie’s first thought whenever he sees a cute boy is to ask him out—or crash into him, as the case might be. Then again, it hadn’t really been Willie’s fault he’d run into Alex—Alex had walked out in front of him without looking.
But, well, Alex is really pretty and Willie is only so strong. He hadn’t really been expecting to get a date out of it, but he does, somehow. Though… It was strange, because it hadn’t been Alex who’d offered. Rather, it’d been his friends who’d spoken up and grabbed his phone which isn’t what most friends do, Willie is sure, but maybe that’d just been them.
It turns out he’s right, but also not. “Queerplatonic partners?” Willie echoes, and Alex nods, chewing his lip, fingers getting faster and faster as they tap along his leg.
“Y- Yeah,” Alex says, and Willie watches him, worried because he can see how Alex is stressing out. He puts his hand out on the table, palm up, letting Alex reach out if he wants.
“Do you mind explaining what that is? I haven’t heard of it—and I’m not saying no, I’d just like to know a bit more.”
“But you haven’t said yes either,” Alex blurts out, before sucking in a sharp breath. “I’m sorry, I didn’t-”
“It’s okay,” Willie says, smiling even while Alex doesn’t meet his gaze. “We can do this later if you want.”
At that, Alex shakes his head. “No,” he says. Then, he pauses and Willie waits—he thinks he would wait forever if that’s what Alex needed. He’s not entirely sure how to feel about that, considering it’s definitely too soon to be thinking about any such thing.
“It’s a relationship that’s not quite following society’s norms, I guess? It’s not necessarily romantic in nature, but it’s not what society sees as strictly friendship either? Think more like… we’re life partners? It’s just- just not romantic, but I wouldn’t give them up. Not ever.”
“What does this mean for you specifically?” Willie asks, and he’s kind of just thinking that this sounds like another way to say family—though maybe it’s a different kind of family. One that’s a choice more than something that you get stuck with.
“They come first right now—or at least equal. It means I’m going to be living with them and sometimes I’ll be there for them rather than you? Maybe when we get to know each other better it’ll change, but right now- right now they’re going to come first?”
Willie hums. “I’m not sure how this will work, but I’m willing to try. More than that, I want to try.”
“Right,” Alex says nodding, still tense, but now he reaches across to Willie’s hand and entangles their fingers, squeezing softly, before letting go. “Did- Did you want to meet them? I mean, you already met them—some of them! You haven’t met Bobby and I’ve mentioned them, but like you haven’t really met them properly. But you can now! I mean. If you want. You don’t have to of course, like I get if you have-”
“I’d love to meet them,” Willie says, gently cutting off Alex’s breathless tumble of words. “And we can do that now, but…” This time, he’s the one to trail off, falling silent. He glances at the table, tracing the patterns in the woodwork with their eyes. After a second, he lifts his head and meets Alex’s eyes—Alex, who is kind and gentle and patient, and is all too ready to wait. Sometimes Willie thinks that Alex would wait forever. It’s a thought that scares him.
“Hey, you don’t have to talk about whatever it is now if you don’t want to,” Alex offers, moments later. “It’s perfectly okay. You don’t- Whatever we are, now or later, you’re not like required to tell me anything. You can tell me now or in two days or in three years or never, and that’s okay. You can- You can keep things to yourself. You’re allowed to have things for yourself that no one else knows.”
A shuddering breath leaves Willie, tension disappearing from his spine despite the fact he hadn’t known it was there. It- It seems impossible that he’s allowed to keep things to himself, that he won’t get told off for doing it or punished for it. And Willie knows that not everyone is like Caleb and the rest of the fae court, but it’s another thing to really see it.
“I- I know,” he says, the words staccato and jagged in his mouth. “It’s just-”
The world around him is silent. Everything is frozen. Willie feels like he’s a spirit, connection to his body twisted and torn apart, when he says, “I’m part-fae.”
There’s no relief accompanying the words. He doesn’t really feel much of anything, it’s like he’s floating, like he’s in mid-air, like-
A hand squeezes his. “Hey,” Alex says, voice soft and gentle and oh-so-kind, and Willie’s eyes are burning with unshed tears. “That doesn’t matter. I don’t care that you’re part-fae, I care that you’re you and you’re this- this really kind, sweet person and I just- I like you Willie. And being part-fae doesn’t change that fact. This doesn’t change anything between us, okay?”
Something tangles in Willie’s chest. Hard and thorny, vines twisted around his heart, and the words choke in his throat. He pulls away from Alex, presses his palms to his eyes until bursts of light appear.
“How?” He asks, the word ripped from him. “How?” How does Alex not care? How does it not matters? It always matters. When has Willie ever been more than his fae heritage? When has he ever been anything but that ‘part-fae’? Even- Even when he’d been more involved in the court, hanging around, it’d always been about what he was and never-
“How could it?” Alex asks, and Willie meets his eyes, heart wrenching, because Alex sounds so sincere and so confused and-
“You’re impossible,” Willie breathes out, and he feels like he’s going to vibrate out of his skin with happiness, and Alex is an impossibility, impossibly kind and gentle and Willie feels like he’s trapped in some dream. But if this is a dream, he doesn’t ever want it to end. “You’re sure?” He checks, and his heart is pounding what-if what-if what-if, but Alex is smiling in front of him and it feels like it could be okay.
Alex nods, serious and eyes warm, “I am,” he says. “Do you want to come meet the boys?”
Swallowing, Willie just nods and follows Alex out the door. He thinks he could follow Alex anywhere. Maybe he will. Maybe he wants to. He knows how important the boys are to Alex, that they’ll come first for now while they’re still largely strangers, knows that they’re family, and that makes him nervous.
Because they are Alex’s family and Alex will listen to them. Yet, at the same time, he’s impossibly okay with meeting them—because Alex doesn’t care he’s part-fae, because he trusts Alex’s friends, because Alex’s friends are the ones who somehow got him a date with Alex. He doesn’t necessarily know it’ll be okay. But he’s hopeful. He’s so, so hopeful.
And Alex is smiling, warm, hair golden in the sunshine, and Willie doesn’t know if he’s ever seen a more beautiful sight. Willie aches with the need to reach out, entangle their fingers together, swing their hands, press his shoulder against Alex’s. But they’re not quite there. At least, Willie doesn’t think he can reach out and bridge that distance. It’s not much, only a few inches, but it’s-
Humming to himself, Alex reaches out, entangles their fingers, and Willie’s core shakes. Alex doesn’t so much as look at him, just swings their arms slowly, and Willie doesn’t know whether he wants to lean into it or pull away and-
“You know you don’t have to do this,” Alex says. “This can wait. It doesn’t have to be now.”
“I want this,” Willie promises, gripping to Alex’s hand. “I’m just nervous, I guess.”
“You don’t have to be. The boys are going to love you. And you’ve already met most of them technically! They’re… They’re idiots, to be honest, and you’ve already partly experienced that so really you’ve got nothing to fear. If anything, I’m the one to fear since they’ve known me for many years. Do you know how many childhood stories they know? You’re never going to let me live any of this down.”
At that, Willie can’t help but smile. It’s so like Alex to want to help him calm down, even when Willie knows he must be struggling himself. On the other hand, these are Alex’s partners so maybe Alex isn’t overthinking anything at all. Perhaps Willie’s doing that for him today.
Alex leads him to a park, which Willie appreciates. Being in a place that is so clearly home for the boys would be more of a challenge, and he’d feel more like a guest. At least being in the park, it’s easier—and it’s open. Willie tries not to run from things these days, but it helps to know he has that opportunity. It helps to not feel caged and chained down.
“There they are,” Alex says, and he’s smiling, Willie can hear it in his voice. He looks ahead, spots the group that Alex must be talking about. There’s still a fair distance away, so he can only really make out silhouettes, but there’s three people and… one looks to be laying on the other?
Beside him, Alex sighs, sounding drained—but it’s teasing, meant in good humour. “I’m so sorry in advance,” he says, and then they’re there and Willie gets his second glance at Reggie and Luke, and his first glance at Bobby.
“Alex!” Luke cheers, leaping to his feet. “You’ve gotta tell Bobby that this morning wasn’t my fault!”
“I… don’t even want to know what you did,” Alex says. “Anyway, Willie, this is Reggie, Luke, and Bobby. Boys, this is Willie.” Willie lifts his hand and wriggles his fingers in a wave. Reggie and Luke immediately wave back, beaming, and Bobby dips his head in a nod. Which. Well, Willie didn’t really think they’d all like him but Bobby’s holding himself at a distance and… and he doesn’t know what to do about that.
“It’s good to see you again,” Reggie says, eyes sparkling, and it’s impossible not to smile back. “How are you?” Then, whilst Willie is still watching him, he turns to Alex and mouths… ‘Oatmeal’?
Alex sighs, aggrieved. “Reggie, you are in no way subtle and I have no idea what you’re asking.”
“See? This is why we need our own sign language! Think how easy we could talk then!”
At Luke’s words, Bobby shakes his head. “That’s definitely not going to happen,” he says. “Also we learnt the basics of sign language from that class, remember?”
“Definitely,” Luke says. “I remember we had that class. For sure. It was um, back at school? Maybe?”
“I would say they’re not normally like this, but I’d be lying,” Alex says, turning to face Willie. “But, yeah, this is them—a group of idiots.”
“Your idiots.”
“Hey, we’re not idiots!”
Willie can’t help but laugh as Reggie’s words are drowned out by Luke’s shout. It’s easy to see how comfortable they all are around each other. He watches as Alex is pulled into their antics—can’t help but notice how easily he reaches out and pulls them close—and Bobby steps closer, and Willie turns, tilting his head.
“Hi,” he says, uncertain. Does he hold his hand out to shake it? Does he offer a fist bump? Does he nod his head like Bobby did earlier?
Bobby eyes him coolly, glances over where Alex is now wrestling with both Reggie and Luke, and Willie knows if he looks over, he’ll simply melt. “Hey,” he says at last. “The three idiots not scaring you off?”
“I don’t think anything could,” Willie says, voice shaky and perhaps a bit more truthful than it should be. But… he doesn’t think anything could now. Not when Alex hasn’t been scared off by his fae heritage. Whatever else happens, whatever else comes, they’ll be able to deal with that.
Maybe it’s too soon to be thinking that. Scratch that, it’s probably definitely too soon to be thinking about that. But it’s Alex and Willie feels like he’s been missing Alex his entire life. Which is ridiculous, because they’ve never known each other before and Willie puts no stock in fate or determined futures. But… It feels like Alex should’ve always been in his life.
Bobby hums and Willie blinks, torn out of his thoughts. “I really care for him,” he says, voice soft. “I don’t- I don’t want to do anything that could cause problems.”
For a long moment, Bobby is silent and Willie tries his best not to fidget beneath his stare. “Yeah okay,” Bobby says, and it’s like something has changed though Willie can’t quite understand what. Bobby seems looser though, a bit more relaxed. Less cautious perhaps? “It’s good to meet you, Willie.”
“It’s good to meet you too,” Willie offers in return, though he’s not quite sure what is going on. He turns, looking for Alex, and finds Alex looking back at him, smiling and pleased and flushed. Willie can’t help but smile back, and when Alex extends a hand to him, he finds himself stepping forward.
Alex tugs him down, onto the grass, and for a second Willie is all too aware of the pressure on his arm from Alex’s hand. Then Alex shifts, and suddenly Willie is leaning against him, pressed together, and- and it’s everything and nothing all at once. He’s all too aware of it, everything feels like it’s on fire, and he’s torn between relaxing into it and holding himself stiff.
“So what did happen this morning?” Alex asks, carefully keeping the attention away from Willie though Willie knows Alex has picked up that something’s not right. Alex has a habit of being awfully perceptive like that.
Reggie flops onto the ground, head landing in Alex’s lap, and Alex runs careful fingers through his hair. “We went out,” he announces, staring up at the sky and smiling—or maybe he’s staring at Alex and smiling. Willie could relate to that second point.
“Okay? I’m failing to see the issue here.” Alex says. “Normally they can be trusted with going out,” he says in a stage whisper to Willie, who can’t help but laugh. Alex smiles, pleased.
“That sounds like a lie,” Bobby says, but there’s an amused slant to his mouth. “I seem to remember a certain shopping car park that-”
“Nope!” Alex yells, leaping across and tackling Bobby to the ground. Willie flinches, almost falling before he catches himself. Before he can really pay attention to the fact Alex isn’t there, however, there’s someone else there, pressed against his side.
The world seems to pause, Willie’s breath catches in his lungs, then he tries to relax. It’s Reggie next to him, having sat up and got comfortable in the seconds Alex left. “You okay?” Reggie asks, and- and Willie can see Alex in the question. Or maybe it’s Reggie’s question and Alex has picked it up. Or maybe it’s just them, comforting and concerned and reaching out.
Willie doesn’t know how to handle any of this- this gentleness, this kindness, this concern. He shudders, and both Bobby and Alex stop their playfighting to look at him, but not wary or cautious, but because they care and are worried. It somehow makes everything worse.
Or maybe it makes everything better.
He draws his knees to his chest, hugging them tightly to his body, fighting the tears that are forming in his eyes and it’s stupid. He shouldn’t be crying. He should be having a nice time with his maybe-boyfriend and his friends, and none of this should be about him, yet here he is. Almost crying because he’s having a good time and everyone’s so kind.
“Willie?”
It’s Alex’s gentle call that breaks him, and Willie sobs—a single thing that catches in his lungs. Immediately, Alex’s arms fit around him, and Willie feels safe.
“I just- It’s- I don’t-”
“Shh,” someone says and Willie is fairly certain it’s not Alex. He thinks it might be Reggie. “It’s okay, you don’t have to talk.”
“We’ve got you,” someone says, and it might be Luke. But it might not be.
Willie exhales, lets himself relax, shuddering as tension drains out of him. He doesn’t quite uncurl, but he leans into Alex, into those surrounding him, and dares to look up. The first thing he sees is Alex, worried and a bit nervous, but looking more concerned than anything else. The next thing he sees are Alex’s bandmates, not quite touching him, but hovering even as they give him space.
He doesn’t know how to say what happened, doesn’t know how to say that touching someone else—someone touching him—how it sends his mind hurtling through thoughts and feels like fire in his veins. How he loves it even as he’s scared of it. It feels too much to say when he barely knows those around him. Yet he thinks he can trust them, wants to trust them.
“Hey,” Willie says. “I’m- I’m sorry. I don’t want to-”
“It’s okay,” Alex immediately responds, cutting him off. “You did nothing wrong, okay? Was there anything we did?”
Before Alex has even finished his question, Willie’s shaking his head, reaching out his hands. Alex intertwines their fingers, squeezing gently. “No, you were perfect. All of you. It was just me and I’m sorry for ruining your outing.”
“You didn’t ruin anything,” Luke says, eyes wide and serious, and Willie can’t help but hold himself still at the sight of them. “We want you to be comfortable more than anything else. Sometimes that means you have to go home early or call it quits or stay inside all day. That’s perfectly okay. We all do it.”
And God, how did Willie manage to meet these people? Because it’s not just Alex, it’s all of them. It’s Luke, serious and calm, and telling him he can have bad days. It’s Reggie asking if he’s okay. It’s Bobby, meeting his gaze and keeping the world at bay with his presence.
A shuddering sigh leaves Willie and a breeze ruffles his hair. “Right,” he says, more to himself than them. “I… Thank you.”
The boys grin, together, clustered as a group. “You’re welcome,” Reggie replies, smiling. “Did you… Did you want to stay out or…?”
Surprisingly at Reggie’s question, Willie doesn’t panic or anything. He doesn’t feel uncomfortable at making their day somehow worse, doesn’t feel pressured to choose something and make sure it’s the right choice. It’s like breathing in fresh air for the first time.
“I would like to stay out,” he says, “if that’s okay?”
“More than,” Alex confirms.
And, when Willie glances at the others, they nod or smile. “You know,” Reggie says, words slow, and his attention seems to be focussed elsewhere now, “I could really go for some chips.”
Willie laughs, shaking his head, and feels free with it. “Yeah,” he agrees. The tension that he hadn’t been aware of is broken, the moment fracturing and falling into the soft grass. “I could go for some chips too.”
“That is not a healthy meal,” Bobby complains, rolling his eyes. “And we had doughnuts for breakfast.”
“WE DID NOT!” Luke screeches, tackling Bobby and somehow ending up hanging from his shoulders while Bobby doesn’t even shift. “Don’t listen to him Lex, it’s a lie.”
Alex raises one judgemental eyebrow. “For some reason, I don’t believe that,” he says, causing Luke to pout. “But chips sound like a good idea.”
Immediately, Luke and Reggie both cheer, chanting ‘chips’ over and over again. Willie watches as Bobby and Alex exchange one long glance, before they share a small smile. He can’t help but smile himself.
However, before they start moving towards the shop, Willie watches as Alex pauses, meeting his gaze. He grins, something sharp and amused, and Willie is helpless as he smiles back. He knows that smile—echoes it with ease.
“Race you!” Alex shouts, suddenly, jerking Willie up and tugging him along as they run. Willie laughs, doesn’t look back, just extends his stride and tightens his grip on Alex’s hand and runs.