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Brian is tall, he tailored himself to towering seven feet not long after his re-creation. He’s tall, he’s strong, and he’s metal.
It's not exactly often Jonny thinks about that, because well, Brian is Brian. Brian is tall, funny, rude, an instrument polymath (or whatever Nastya used to say) and his friend.
Jonny doesn't often think after other people's height. Because he’s short. He knows. Anyone taller than him is taller than him. All the easier to duck under punches and to trip. Whatever.
And he’s not even jealous of Brian because the fucker made himself taller.
The difference in stature simply hadn’t been relevant outside of petty mocking.
Until now.
Jonny is 5”2.
Jonny is small, ragged, and died of blood loss not ten minutes ago.
Brian is 7”, tall, blood-drenched, and pissed off.
And it's times like this Jonny remembers why Brian can be terrifying.
He cringes away from Brian’s glare, eyes flickering to where Tim lays, fallen on the ground. Blood pouring in rivers from his ruined eyes.
Jonny had been conscious long enough to hear Tim screaming, begging, before the blood loss got to him.
Had woken up, still woozy, just to Tim falling.
Then Brian turned to him, standing over him with fury in his eyes.
Ivy collapsed to Jonny’s left, Ashes to his right, with Tim behind Brian.
Jonny didn't fucking know what to do.
He never knows anymore. Not since she left.
Brian was drenched in blood, and Jonny’s gun was jammed.
He wasn't getting out of this.
He wasn't.
There was no way he could get around Brian, not with how badly he’s still bleeding. Not with Brian blocking the door.
Cards down, Brian won.
Jonny’s hand was all jokers.
“Whatever you’re going to do, do it fast.” Jonny hissed, hands pressed to the bleeding hole in his side.
Brian hadn’t pried Tim’s eyes out.
Scraps, he had said, so that meant Brian was going to break his heart.
Fucking poetic how these things always go.
“If you write a song about this,” Brian’s voice was deceptively soft, and if his mouth wasn't so dry Jonny would have spit on him. Fucking mind games. Always fucking mind games. “Which I know you will, because I know you, make sure it includes this: I am not a plaything. I am not something to be toyed with and left in the dust. I am not a thing at all. I am a person, and I am your crewmate. I have a heart that beats just like any other, despite a body that is not like any other. I am not. A fucking. Joke. ”
Jonny nodded, glaring with every bit of pulsing fury in him. Tim was still whimpering on the floor. Ivy was still dead. Ashes was crushed.
There was nowhere to go. Nowhere to escape too.
Then Brian reached down, and dragged him up by the shirt. Jonny twisted and wrestled, but Jonny is a fucking joke compared to Brian in size.
He kicked and fought, but he didn't even dent Brian.
Brian dragged him out of the room. Away from his bleeding boyfriend and dead friends.
With every step he was pushed, Jonny grew more panicked. More frantic.
Because Brian had something planned. Which was bad.
(A thousand, or a hundred, or a million years ago depending on why you ask, different hands on his shoulders, different hands pushing him forward.)
(His father’s sour breath in his ear as he shoved him out. Stumbling down the steps. ‘Don't come back till you can pay for what you broke.’)
(Jacks’s hands on his shoulders, body at his feet. Blood on his shoes. ‘I’m proud of you, ███████)
(Doc C’s painted nails as she guides him forward, as she shows him her newest totally-not-stolen ship, ‘Jonny-boy, there was.. An incident regarding parking laws with our last ship… Perhaps get into this one faster and we may be able to steal back our things soon.’)
(Nastya’s hands, cold as ice, as she pushes him forward. Laughing like a seagull as he resigned himself to whatever horror awaits him. ‘Oh come on, Jonny, you will enjoy it. Yes. Enjoy it.’ ‘Pardon me if I’m not certain, Nas’ ‘No. I do not think I will. I do not pardon people.’ ‘Rude.’ ‘Coward.’ )
So Jonny does what he does best when trying to get out of situations like this.
“What’re you gonna do, Brian?”
Nothing. No response from Brian. Just another shove.
“Fucking- let’s just talk okay? A heart to heart one might say. Huh?”
Brian’s grip on his shoulders tightened, and Jonny braced himself for pain.
For Brian to shove him over.
(Jacks’s fingers dug into his shoulders. Nails pressing through his shirt. A man knelt on the ground, bloodied, beaten. He looked up at Jonny with pure malice. In Jonny’s hands, there was a pistol, his finger on the trigger. ‘Pull the trigger ███████.' Jonny didn't. ‘Pull the trigger.’ He continued not pulling the trigger. Jacks snatched the gun, then shoved him to the side, hard. His shoulder cracking against a shelf. The bullet rang out, and Jacks turned to him. ‘Now ███████ ,' Jonny flinched. 'Why didn't you pull the trigger?’)
Brian’s fingers were digging into his skin, it hurt. “Let go of me.” Jonny snarled. And he’s beginning to fucking panic.
His breaths came in gasping shuddering groups, as he twisted and kicked and Brian just kept forcing him forward.
(Doc C’s hand on his shoulders, furious pace. ‘Mum’ Jonny tried. She tightened her grip, and kept walking. ‘You’re in time out, Jonny’ her voice was cold and deathly serious. And Jonny knew she didn't mean locking him in his room a day. He shrunk as she marched him forward.)
And then he saw the airlock, and he seized up. “No!” He screamed, and he’s actually fighting now, because he’s going to be thrown out. (Like Doc C like a stowaway like Nastya.) There is blood running down from where Brian’s fingers break his skin as he twists and turns.
He can't overpower Brian, so he tries to outmaneuver him.
So Jonny just lets his knees buckle, intending on falling crawling and running, but Brian just holds him up. And keeps. Marching. Him. forward.
He’s clawing at the walls now, trying to get traction. Trying to do anything but let this happen.
“Brian- fucking anything else.”
“You’re lucky there isn’t a star near here.” Brian’s voice was still so soft and Jonny, at that moment, is as terrified as any of the worst moments with Carmilla.
“Please.” He tried. “Please. Please. Anything else. Brian please.” As they get closer Jonny is crying. Tears rolling down his cheeks.
“Thats what I was thinking as they used me for scraps.” Brian smiled softly at that, and Jonny was crying. Wheezing panicked whimpers as he uselessly fought.
He only had one option left. “AURORA PLEASE.” Jonny finally screamed. Because she’s the only one who can stop this.
It's been a long time since she told him it's his fault for letting Nastya go Out.
Been a long time since since she screamed at him as the whole ship convulsed and sobbed in greif that this is his fault.
Jonny knows she hates him.
She does nothing.
Brian bashes in his head.
Oblivion.
(The next time he awoke, there is nothing but stars, and as the void freezes him solid, he knows that he deserves this. As his mouth and eyes boil, his lungs explode, he sobs.
After all, it's only fair he experiences whatever Nastya does.
She’s his sister.
And he let her go Out.)