Work Text:
They were sitting on a blanket in the park under these beautiful trees. Luana was walking on shaking legs between Maya and Carina smiling at them.
“I never appreciated a smile so much like hers.” Carina said
“Yeah you are right I’m feeling the same but…” Maya stopped herself and whispered something to Luana before the little girl stumbled to Carina
“Amo mamma” At that Carina smiled and her eyes began to shine of pure happiness. “Awww ti amo tantissimo mia piccolina principessa” She took her in her arms and lifted her in the air. At that the little girl squealed and had the biggest smile on her face, looking at her mamma.
“That’s my favorite one: both of yours together” Carina smiled at that with teary eyes.
“Will you come here bambina per favore?” Maya moved so she was sitting by Carinas side. She kissed her on the forehead and Carina cupped her cheek. “Ti amo bambina” She said with so much love that Maya felt it right there in her heart.
Suddenly Luanas hand was on Mayas cheek “Amo Momma”. Maya and Carina looked down at Luana. “My curly little girl we love you so much.” Luana smiled at that and climbed into Carinas lap nudging her little nose against Carinas before she laid her head on Carinas shoulder cuddling into her. Then she reached out for Maya doing the same before she walked over to their basket and took a book and her teddy bear out of it.
“How can she be so damn cute?” Carina asked. “I have no idea.” Maya smiled.
“Come here sweet little lady, you want to read this book?” Maya asked and Luana smiled at them, stumbling towards her before she tripped, but Maya was there to catch her. “I got you sweetheart.” Maya said and looked at her with wide eyes before she smiled at Maya.
Carina was sitting with her back against a tree and Maya sat between her legs with Luana between hers bubbling happy about her book whereas Maya leaned more against Carina, cuddling into her.
“Did you ever thought we would have this love?” Carina whispered.
“No but it’s the best thing of my life.”
“Yeah I think so too.”
“You okay babe?” Maya asked. “Just emotional.” Carina said leaning her head against Mayas.
Maya held Luana against her chest and moved so her legs were over Carinas lap and Luana sat against Carinas chest. So Maya could lean against Carinas shoulder looking at Carina. She gently stroked her cheek. “We love you baby.” Maya said nudging her nose. “Vi amo entrambi piu'di ogni cosa in questo mondo.” Carina said smiling at her.
Maya laid her head in the crook of Carinas neck and felt Luana cuddling more and more into them.
“Bambina?” “Hm?” “What do you say when we stay here a little longer I know we wanted to be back now but it’s just so beautiful and …” “In this moment she felt Mayas lips on hers smiling into the kiss. “Absolutely baby. There is no rush.”
They were just sitting there together enjoying this short but meaningful moment for them. Carina closed her eyes holding her girls in her arms just feeling in the moment, the weight of Maya against her shoulder, her hair tickling her neck and her arm around her back holding her tight and the other one around Luana over her own. She felt Luana leaning against her and Mayas chest, holding her book, her curly hair against her chin, when she leaned down to kiss her on the head. She felt the sun warm her face through the trees. She felt this love, the kind of love she thought that exists only on screens or in books, in fairytales or dreams. The love that is your home, your everything, your per sempre.
When she looked at Maya she could see that she was deep in thoughts. “Bambina? I hear you thinking.”
Maya nuzzled her nose against Carinas neck and closed her eyes. “Sometimes I’m scared that this isn’t real and I will wake up and everything we said on that day you were planning to go to Italy broke us.” She took a shuddering breath.
Carina hold her closer. “Hey Maya look at me. This is real I promise you, prometto.” Maya looked up at her “I know but ...” She looked down not daring to look Carina in the eyes.
Carina rested her forehead against Mayas and her girl slowly opened her eyes looking into Carinas. “I could have lost you.” A tear streamed down Mayas cheek and Carina brushed it away with her thumb feeling the tears in her eyes as well. “You will never lose me. You will never lose us.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“For saying all these horrible things”
“Bambina.” Carina stroked Mayas cheeks and continued “We both said horrible things but it’s okay, we are just humans we make mistakes and we will do it again in the future but that doesn’t change the fact that you are my home you and Luana and nothing is ever going to change that, you are the love of my life.”
“I know you are right” Maya whispered.
“Of course I’m right.” Carina said smirking at her.
Maya smiled a little, just looking at her until Carina stroked her cheek “Baciami bambina?”
Maya smiled at that with this unbelievable happiness in her eyes. “Baciami” Maya said capturing her girls lips smiling into the kiss. Before she pulled back, “You two are my home too. A home I never thought I would have. A home I never thought I would want. A home ” Carina just looked at her girl knowing that she doesn’t need to say anything because Maya would know exactly what she was feeling in that moment.
Maya saw more and more tears coming from Carinas eyes. She touched Carinas nose with her own. “You want to know one of the things why I love you so much?” Carina nodded.
“The way how you show your feelings, how you feel save to show me. I mean I hate it when you are hurt or when you are mad with me it breaks my heart, but you show me what your heart feels in a way that lets me fall in love with you over and over again because you are living your feelings in a way that is so pure and true.” At that Carina smiled so bright happy tears streaming down her cheeks. “Ti amo per sempre bambina. There aren’t enough words to describe it.”
“I love you so freaking much. You never have to describe it, you show me every single day and to see how you love this little beautiful girl and that you are doing this being a mamma with me. Me the one who just is so scared to do something wrong and become one of our parents. You doing this journey with me is everything to me. Grazie mille di tutto cuore for loving me, for loving us.”
New tears were streaming down Carinas cheeks “Bambina you have to stop saying these beautiful things I will look horrible.”
“You look beautiful and stunning and I don’t care if you have tears all over your face because these are tears of happiness, tears of love.”
“Sometimes you are making me speechless.”
Maya smirked “I know”. She leaned forward to capture Carinas lips.
“Stop” Carina whispered. Maya opened her eyes. Her nose nudging Carinas her lips only millimeters apart they were looking into each others eyes. “Why?”
“Because you are distracting me and it`s working.” Maya smiled when Carina closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and opened them again. “I love your eyes so much bambina.”
“I love yours more.”
“I win.”
“What you say baby. What did you want to tell me.”
“When I would tell you I am scared to become my dad and give Luana these feelings he gave me, what would you say to me?”
Maya got serious and had a stubborn look on her face ready to defend her and never could convince Maya that she was wrong. “No no no you will never become your dad because you are Carina you are my girl you love like nobody I ever met loves and I will never meet someone who loves like you and you tell Luana the whole time but more you show it to her like you show me. She knows her mamma loves her more than anything and your father never showed you.”
Carina smirked “Are you finished?”
“I could go on for hours!”
“You are stubborn bambina” Carina laughed.
“Yes I am but I need you to know that you need to believe me per favore.”
Carina laughed before a wide smile was on her face. “Grazie mille bambina.”
Carina got serious “Never think that you are becoming him, never. You love this little girl right here like crazy.” She leaned down kissing Luana on her head before she leaned her forehead against Mayas again touching their noses. “You tell her everyday bambina you tell me every day you fight for us you show us everyday that we are your everything. We are your sempre e per sempre.”
Tears of insecurity streamed down Mayas cheeks and she closed her eyes. “Bambina it’s me. Tell me per favore.” Carina whispered.
Maya slowly opened her eyes. “I will never deserve you.”
Suddenly there was this fire in Carinas eyes and Maya looked down. “No look at me please you deserve the world and you can’t convince me from the contrary.”
Maya slowly nodded and trembled a little.
“Per favore tell me what’s in this beautiful head.”
“How?”
“I know my girl” Carina smiled.
“You know when people talk about doing everything different from their parents with their own kids and then and then.”
Mayas breathing quickened and her eyes started to wander.
“Bambina hey hey hey take a breath.” She felt Maya panic more and more. She looked at Luana who was holding her teddybear cuddling against them. She was in dreamland. Carina slowly put her arm away from around her knowing Maya was still holding her safe. Then she rested her hand on the side of Mayas neck guiding her to look at her. “Sssh take a breath with me. I got you I promise.” Carina breathed slowly in and out her heart breaking seeing Maya fighting like that. After a while Mayas breathing matched Carinas and she looked right into Carinas eyes taking the panic away.
“I’m sor…” “Don’t you dare apologize. You got me and hold me tight every time there is this anxiety and panic coming to the surface from my head and I will always do the same for you.”
“Grazie mille”
Carina smiled at her before whispering “Will you tell me what got you so scared?”
“They tell they do everything different. But then at some point they change into their parents anyways giving their children this feeling their own parents gave them and I don’t want that. But I’m broken. I’m not as strong and loving as you are. Please I don’t want that she is feeling this way and you have to promise me that you will never let this happen please Carina you have to divorce me please please promise me.”
Carinas heart broke. “Bambina you will never do this. You love her so much you love me so much. You are not broken. You are the strongest person I know.”
“But what is when this isn’t enough.”
Tears were streaming down both their faces now. “Bambina look at me this will never happen do you understand and do you want to know why? Because we talk about our feelings we don’t hide them anymore and Maya we will get angry and frustrated sometimes but this is okay that’s human but we will talk about it and don’t let our temper control us. This fight that day before I wanted to go to Italy, that was one of our biggest fights and our temper was so high but you know why: we held our feelings and thoughts back, our anxiety and in some way our love too afraid to lose the other but we don’t do this anymore because we know better we know each other and I know you better than anyone you said it before I will never become my dad and you are so convinced of it and I tell you right now you will never become yours. Andy told you this before, right now you thinking about it and being so scared this shows it. Please trust me bambina this love our love is stronger than the fear.”
Maya looked at her and the thoughts in her head trying to scare her trying to take her away from her girl get quieter. “Are you sure?”
“I am sure we will never turn into our parents I promise you because that would mean we lose our love, that love will lose and we both know that we will never let that happen bambina. Never”
Maya took a shuddering breath the tension flowing away.
“I love you Carina I love you.”
“Ti amo tantissimo. Baciami”
Both of them closed their eyes when their lips met in a kiss full of love.
“Grazie mille for listen to my insecurities every single time.”
Carinas forehead found Mayas. “Bambina you are doing the same for me, you never have to thank me for that. …. Can we lay down? I can’t sit anymore.”
“Of course” Maya hold Luana gently against her chest when she turned around lying down on their blanket. Luana cuddled into Mayas chest. Maya reached out her other arm “Come here beautiful.”
Carina stood up to straighten herself. Maya was laying with their girl in the sun with closed eyes. Carina stood over her standing in the sun.
Maya opened her eyes. “You are beautiful.” There was it, the bright smile Maya loved so much.
“Sei bellisima bambina”
Maya smiled and pouts in the next moment “That’s not fair it sounds so much more beautiful when you are saying it.”
Carina laughed kneeling down, nudging Mayas nose. “No”
Then she laid down in Mayas arms holding onto her girls.
“Noi siamo angeli con un’ala sola. Solo abbracciati possiamo volare.“
Maya smiled kissing Carinas head, she knows Carina loved this quote so much.
Luana lifts up her head with sleepy eyes and a wide smile broke out on her face the moment she sees her mommies. “Ciao piccolina principessa.”
“Ciao mamme” she stuttered
“Fantastico Luana” smiled Carina nudging her little nose.
Luana smiled before she cuddled into Maya again grabbing Carinas hand.
Carina rested her head on Mayas shoulder just taking in this moment with her famiglia. A moment which seemed so far away this day back when they were screaming at each other before she wanted to go to Italia
A moment that she never knew would be real one day,
A moment she would never change
A moment were the time stands still
A moment of home
A moment of love
A moment which is theirs just theirs.