Archive of Our Own

Ever since Glam had left his home, Ches had been trying to get the other to experience new things that he had been missing out on. Of course they took it slow with Ches being patient with the blond. He didn't want to overwhelm the other who had, more or less, been in solitary confinement for a good portion of his life. Some things were easier to approach like trying out junk food (which Glam didn't like) and make up (which Glam loved). Other stuff was a little harder to introduce to the blond. Communal showers, 'borrowing' and smoking had been a few of those firsts that didn't sit well with Glam. Eventually he did get over the showers and begrudgingly stopped worrying over Ches borrowing things; though smoking had been completely ruled out. Not that Ches minded, he was fine with Glam keeping his lungs fairly healthy. He only wished that Glam would stop nagging him about his own habits. But that was a topic for another day.

Today, or rather tonight, had been an interesting one. High off of the adrenaline of another successful show, Glam had gathered up the courage to conquer another 'first' today. One that he had been watching others do from afar but was finally willing to join in. 

Drinking . 

But, as it turns out, he'd be conquering two firsts today because Glam apparently had the weakest tolerance that Ches has ever seen. Meaning that after only two bottles of beer Glam had gotten completely plastered and was already a drunken mess by the time Ches had finished his own drink. 

It had been entertaining at first to watch a drunk Glam, who was usually so prim and proper, divulge into a bumbling and giddy mess. But soon the other began to go wild and after catching Glam trying to crawl through the air ducts to 'find peace' he decided it was time to bring the disaster back home. 

"Can you stop your wiggling? I know you don't weigh anything but your long ass limbs are hard to control." Ches chuckled as he carried Glam bridal style through the trailer park. 

It was late and cold but Ches had already wrapped Glam up in his own green jacket and held the other close as they walked on through. Glam leaned his head back, arms wrapped securely around Ches' shoulders, and looked up, "Look at the stars, Ches! So many pretty ones…"

"I know."

"We should go stargazing!"

"We already have, but we can go again."

"Right now?"

"No, not right now."

"Why?" Glam whined as he looked at the other with a frown. 

"Because," Ches chuckled, "You're drunk-no, not drunk. Plastered ." Ches smirked, "I figured you'd be a lightweight but not that light!"

"Fuck you, I've never even drank a thing." he complained as he bumped his forehead against Ches'. "You gave me strong drinks."

"No I didn't. Swear on my honor." Ches shifted his hold on the other. "Did they taste good?"

"Mmmm….no."

Ches snickered, "Well, next time I'll get you a mixed drink instead. With like a drop of alcohol." Once they approached the trailer Ches carefully set Glam down and leaned him against the trailer, "Almost back home, just need to sneak past Mom…Don't fall."

Glam merely hummed as he rested his head against the metal while Ches fiddled with the lock. He muttered something about 'the woman' but nothing Ches can make out. Glam had kept his mouth shut about Ches' mom though he still caught the frowns and faintest glares Glam would send her way when they passed her while asleep. He confronted him about it a few times but guessed he couldn't exactly change his opinion about her. It's not like she brought much to be desired or treated Glam, when she realized he was there, any better than she treated Ches. Only difference was her insults to Glam were generic and not specific like what she said to her own son. He pretended like they didn't hurt for Glam's sake. 

After a faint click Ches slipped an arm around Glam and led him inside. His mother was asleep, as usual. The TV blared some shitty cartoon that Ches doesn't bother to look at for longer than a second. He carefully maneuvered himself and Glam around the stray bottles. Last thing he needed was to deal with a drunk Glam and a drunk mother. Luck seems]ed to be on his side, as usual, and they managed to get inside the room without waking her up. 

"There we go…" He muttered as he set Glam down on the bed. The blond managed to stay upright, though he slouched forward with his eyes closed. "That was one hell of a night." Ches sighed as he slipped off both their guitar cases and put them off to the side. He cracked his back some before looking at Glam, "Hey, still with me there, Mr. Glam?" he chuckled as he snapped his fingers.

The blond stirred and looked up at him before smiling, "Hi."

"Hi." Ches kicked off his shoes, "How do you feel?"

"Tired."

"Thought so. Come on, let's get you ready for bed. And please don't piss on me tonight. If you gotta piss, go outside or, hell, go in the trash can just don't piss the bed."

"I'm not...I'm not…" Glam watched as Ches squatted down and took off Glam's shoes, "...Thanks…"

"Mhm." Ches idly sets them aside before he stood back up, "You want to keep the jacket on or nah?"

"...I'll keep it." Glam looked at the green jacket, "It's yours?"

"Yeah. You were gunna freeze without one."

"Where's mine?"

"It ripped when you got stuck in the air vent."

"Oh. Sorry."

"It's fine. We'll get you a new one."

At that Glam frowned, "No more stealing…"

"It's not stealing if I grab it from the school lost and found." he snorted, "Not my fault that the school doesn't remember who's enrolled or not!"

Ches hadn't been in school for ages. Being a poor, bastard kid from the factory region made school a lot less enjoyable. The kids were assholes but the teachers were the ones who made him leave. He could understand a six year old being a dick to someone who looked different, but a forty year old woman picking on a kid? Nah, Ches got the fuck out of there. Glam had originally been shocked to hear Ches stopped going to school when he was ten, but had gotten over it when Ches explained why. He did notice, however, Glam had chosen to read his books out loud more often after that. Was the blond trying to get him to learn a few things? The idea made him smile. 

However Glam seemed upset at the thought of him stealing and shook his head, "Don't, it's not worth it."

Ches sighed but took a seat next to him, " You're worth it. Besides, we're about to have a 'freeze your dick off' winter and there's no heater in here." he motioned to the room, "You're gunna need a jacket."

"No."

"Why not?"

"You."

"Me what?"

"I'm worried about you ."

Ches' smile fell and he stared at him in surprised, "...Me?" he looked at him in confusion, "...Why me?"

"If they catch you...you're gone." Glam frowned deeply as he looked at the floor, "You'll be gone...and I'll be alone again. Forever."

Ches' eyes widened at his words. Glam always went on about how it was illegal, how risky it was, how bad it was...he didn't realize that Glam wasn't worried about the objects or legality of it but about him . "Glam...I…" he looked away. He was talking to someone who was drunk out of his mind...but…still..."I'm not going anywhere, okay?" He said as he looked back at him.

Glam looked up at him, "Never?"

"No. I'm...I'll always be by your side. Until you tell me to fuck off or something." he smiled softly, "I...really like you, Glam. I do."

Like was an understatement. Ches loved him. Loved him more than he ever thought he could love another person. Before they met, Ches' whole life had been a barren and cold place. His dad was gone, his mother hated him and all the people in his life made it abundantly clear that Ches was nothing more than an afterthought; An expendable thing they could use up till they had their fill and would simply leave him there. At first Ches accepted that. Ches had told himself he was perfectly fine being by himself. He was content drifting in and out of people's lives just to serve a purpose and be dumped right after. As long as he was momentarily happy, as long as he could experience a quick burst of joy, then that was fine. Ches didn't need to be loved by others. He loved himself just enough. That was perfectly fine. 

Until he met Glam. 

When he met the blond he figured that it'd be like all the other times. That he'd mess with the stuck up rich boy and maybe share a few laughs before they parted ways after a while. He'd be fine being yelled at by the other if Ches could get a few jabs here and there. And even after they bonded over music, Ches was ready for the day when he'd show up at the dumpster and Glam would just suddenly never come back again. 

But that never happened. 

Instead Glam became an important, and soon permanent, part of his life. The two bonded and told each other things they've never said to another soul. Their routine became the only bright light in their otherwise shitty existence. The music was just the thread that held it together; that held them together. Ches couldn't imagine not having Glam in his life. He couldn't imagine waking up one day and Glam just not being there. Glam meant the world to Ches and, for once, the feeling was mutual.

For once in his whole life, Ches knew what it felt to be wanted . It was a feeling that he didn't know he needed until Glam showed up that day in the pouring rain looking for help and safety. Ches was the first person he turned to. Ches was the one who had been Glam's first thought. Ches was the person Glam felt safest with. He had made his mind up then, and was reminded now, that he was never going to leave Glam's side. Ever.

But even then, Ches didn't expect anything to come after Glam's words. Maybe some drunken tears. Maybe a laugh. Maybe nothing at all. What he really didn't expect was for Glam to straighten up and for him to suddenly say his name in a sweet and breathy tone that he's never heard before. 

"... Ches. "

Suddenly Glam was close. His breath was on Ches' lips and his hand was on Ches' thigh. He found himself frozen, taking in every little thing about the guitarist. Big blue eyes framed with smudged kohl, pale cheeks flushed a deep pink, blonde hair that was just starting to grow into a mane...and no words could do justice over how beautiful Glam looked in that moment. "Glam?" Ches managed to breathe out, feeling his own face grow hot under the other's gaze and touch, "What-What is it?"

"...You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Ches. I love you." Then, Glam smiled, closed his eyes and leaned closer. A kiss. Another first.

It was as if time stopped at that moment. This moment. A moment that Ches has been dying for since he had first met the blond all those months ago. Feelings that he had been harboring in his chest for so long practically screamed at Ches to close the gap. To kiss the teen that he's been in love with for ages. It'd be so easy. Their lips practically touched at this point. All Ches needed to do was move just a fraction closer. Centimeters, even. It was so, so easy…

...and yet he couldn't do it. Not to his friend who was so drunk out of his mind that he couldn't tell what was up or down. It wasn't right. Ches wanted to, god did he want to; but he wouldn't break Glam's trust like that.

"Glam-" Ches leaned back and pushed the other away at the last second, "Glam, no." 

The blonde opened his eyes and frowned, looking absolutely hurt. "Ches…?"

"...I'm sorry. I can't." Ches shook his head, "Not like this."

"But...don't you like me?"

Oh fucking hell yes I do. I love you. The words stopped short on his tongue and Ches bit his lip to keep them back. Instead he smiled and laughed, "You're drunk, Glam. You...you don't know what you're thinking...What you're doing or saying…"

"I do!"

Ches smiled painfully, "No, you don't." Glam stared, opening his mouth to argue but he soon shut it again. He looks hurt...and in pain...maybe Ches should say something...maybe he should- "Glam?" 

The blonde is looking down now, brows furrowed as a strange expression crossed his face. His face went pale again and his eyes glossy and-

"Oh fuck! Wait, wait, wait-!"

And it's too late. Glam has thrown up a whole entire night's worth of drinking and eating right on to his lap. Great. Glam groans and begins to slump forward, stopped only by Ches who caught him at the last second. "Bleugh…"

"Yeah. Me too." Ches huffed as he pulled the other onto the bed and stood up, grimacing and trying not to throw up himself. He grabs a bottle of water from the desk and hands it to him. "Gargle this and spit it... anywhere at this point. Here."

Glam took it and did as he's told, spitting onto the floor, before he flopped onto the bed. And like that he was out like a light. 

Ches sighed and shook his head, doing his best to keep everything in one area. But even as he spends the night cleaning and doing damage control, he still can't help but smile every time he looks at Glam's sleeping face. God damn it , he thought to himself, He's lucky he's cute ...

When morning rolled around Ches, surprisingly, woke up first. But it should be expected, given he is sleeping at the desk. He had let Glam take over the bed for tonight even if both of them shared it for the time being. They did talk about getting a second bed but with space limited and neither of them having the money to buy one or skills to make one, both settled for sharing. But that was neither here nor there. Ches sat up and groaned, his back and neck ached from the hunched over position. He looked over to see Glam still asleep, facing the wall. He hadn't been much of a hassle after the surprise purge but Ches had kept an eye out throughout the night anyways.

Ches stood up and cracked his back before he sighed and grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste to brush his teeth. He went to the sink outside the room and walked past his mother who was unfortunately awake. She began berating him for some reason or another, not that he really listened. Instead he tuned her out as he brushed his teeth, wondering if he should even bring up what Glam said last night. The other probably didn't remember...he probably didn't even mean what he said. Yeah...he was just...drunk. Yeah. Ches gargled some water and ducked his head down to spit and avoid the bottle that landed on the wall above his head, shattering on impact. Ches shut the water off and looked at his Mom with a frown, "Shut the fuck up. It's too early to hear your shit." he grumbled, going to the pantry to get some things.

"If you weren't such a loud bastard then I wouldn't be so mad!"

Ches scoffed and dodged another bottle, this one simply rolling away after hitting the drawers, before he stepped in the room. He sighed, wincing slightly at her muffled words, before he looked up and saw Glam awake, "Ah, good morning sleeping beauty." he chuckled and moved to put his things away, "How do you feel?"

"Like Hell…" he groaned, rubbing his forehead.

"Guessing Mom woke you up, huh?"

"It's ok…" he winced and leaned back against the wall, "What time is it?"

"Uh...ten." he looked at the clock before back at him. He didn't want to bring up anything about last night, but he didn't know what else to talk about either. "Didn't think you'd get drunk off a bottle of beer."

" Two. "

Ches laughed, "Oh right, two. Sorry." he smirked, "I've never met someone with a weak ass tolerance like you."

"Shut up." Glam held his head and groaned, "I feel like I'm going to die."

"Well, you won't. Here." He handed him a bottle of juice and some painkillers. "Drink some of this and take two of those after breakfast."

"I don't wanna eat." he looked at the bottle, "Tomato juice?"

"Makes me feel better. Swear by it." he jokingly made an X over his heart. That managed a small smile out of Glam which made Ches happy, "It'll pass in a couple hours. After you eat you can pass out again."

"Mhm…" Glam looked down at the bottle before cracking it open and taking a few sips. They sat in silence for a while before Glam suddenly went rigid as something must have crossed his mind, "...Hey Ches?"

"Yup?" Ches glanced up at him. 

"Did...did I...say anything...weird? Or do anything weird when I was drunk?"

Ches felt his heart drop to his stomach but he easily hid his fear with a casual eyebrow raise, "Like what? I mean, you did try to climb up the air vents...and kept going on about to start." he said, forcing out a laugh.

"Anything else?"

Ches stared at Glam, taking in his expression, his tone of voice and weighed his options… "Well...you did throw up on my lap."

"WHAT?"

"Yeah. Kept blabbering on about stars, looked at me, waited a second, then just...bleeegh." Ches stuck his tongue out, "And you spit on the floor. Not a pretty picture."

Glam held back a gag. "Is that what the taste is??"

"Well I gave you some water. I'm just glad you didn't piss the bed or throw up on my jacket."

Glam looked down at his jacket before he stood up, "I gotta shower."

Ches reached out to steady Glam, "Jesus Glam it's just-"

"Don't! It's gross!"

"Yeah, how do you think I felt? Lost a pair of pants that night."

Glam gathered up his things but gave him an apologetic wince, "Sorry if I was a handful…"

"Nah, don't worry about it." Ches smiled, "Not the worst person I've taken care of. 'Sides, your hangover is enough of a payment." he snickered. "Now go on and shower. I'll wait here and we can go get something to eat."

"Alright." Glam hesitated before taking off Ches' jacket, "Here. Thanks for letting me use it."

"No problem. Now go get clean, sleeping beauty." he nudged Glam out the room, "And be careful of Mom; not in a great mood."

Glam waved the other off before finally leaving the room. Ches waited a moment before he let out a heavy sigh and collapsed onto the bed. He buried his face in his hands and groaned. Why didn't he say yes? Why didn't he tell him the truth? The opportunity was right there! He could have been casual, could have played it off cool!

Ches was lucky. It was the one thing the universe seemed to bestow upon him to make up for all the bullshit he's been saddled with. Saying yes would have been a gamble. A gamble he probably would have won...and yet…

He thought about how Glam's cheeks burned in embarrassment with eyes glossy from the hangover as he waited for his answer...Of how absolutely mortified Glam was when he realized he may have said something he didn't mean to say….and Ches couldn't do it. Ches couldn't gamble his friend's emotions like that. Even if the chance his feelings would be returned was almost certain, he didn't want to risk that small, small chance that he was wrong. That Glam really was just so drunk he had no idea what he was saying. Or that Glam admitted something he didn't want to just yet. It would destroy their friendship and he didn't want that. He wouldn't put Glam in such a position. He wouldn't gamble the other's heart like that. 

So he folded. 

Ches dragged his hands down his face and looked up, covering his mouth as he stared ahead. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that it probably wasn't the time anyways. Glam still woke up from nightmares about his Father. Ches still found him crying over the traumatic shift of losing his home and gaining an entirely new one. Glam was healing...he didn't need a relationship like that just yet. No. He needed a friend and Ches would gladly stay that way for as long as Glam needed him. If it made Glam happy, then it would make Ches happy too. 

This was the first relationship in his life that mattered. The first person he ever came across that meant something to him. There was no way Ches could just risk it all. If Glam wanted to tell him later, then he could. If he wanted to get together, then they would. But only if Glam made that move. When Glam was ready, Ches would be there. And if Glam was never ready...Ches would still be there. Even if it hurts. 

Ches heard the front door open and he took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment as he composed himself. He let out a sigh, sat up, and slipped on his jacket once more. When Glam walked in, Ches already had the usual nonchalant and lazy smile on his face as he began putting on his shoes. "Feel better?" 

Glam sighed and rubbed the towel against his hair, "A little. How about you? Didn't you drink too?"

“Don’t worry about me.” Ches shrugged and grinned, "I'm fine. I'm always fine."