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Published:
2015-01-12
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2,800
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1/1
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Headphones Will Deliver You The Words That I Can't Say

Summary:

When Peyton finally has her life back on the rails, a person from the past enters her life again. For better or for worse?

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Peyton Jones was a normal 24 year old girl, who lived in a little apartment in one of the suburbs of Chicago. Her parents lived at the other side of town, but she moved here when she decided to move out of the house and search a place that was closer to her work. She pretty much liked her life right now. She had been through a hard time some years ago, but the last two years, she had gotten her life back on track and she liked where she was right now. Little did she know her past was about to hunt her down again.

When Peyton walked to her car to go and buy some groceries, she noticed there was a small package lying on the front window. She walked to the front of the car to pick up the package and saw it was a CD. Instead of the front cover, there was a note. While getting into her car she read it.

Landing on a runway in Chicago and I'm grounding all my dreams
Of ever really seeing California, because I know what's in between
And I can't forget your style or your cynicism
Somehow it was like you were the first to listen to everything we said
My smile's an open wound without you
And my hands are tied to pages inked to bring you back.
Tonight the headphones will deliver you the words that I can't say

There was no name under the note, but Peyton didn't need one to know who the CD was from. She had immediately recognized the Fall Out Boy lyrics and the handwriting.

"Peter Wentz. I just can't seem to get away from you..." she said to herself feeling annoyed. She knew she shouldn't be doing this, but she just couldn't help herself. "I'm going to see him tonight anyway, so I might as well start getting used to it now," she said while putting the CD in the player and starting it.

The music that started playing was not what she expected. There were no drums, no electric guitars and no bass, just an acoustic guitar. And then an oh so familiar voice started singing.

Every night's a million years
Since we're not together
Time is crawling, crawling
Told myself I wouldn't call
Should've known better
Cause I'm falling, I'm falling

Catch my heart before it shatters
And make me live again

If you think baby after so long
That I'm over you baby you're so wrong
I want you back
Every time I kiss, I still kiss you
No matter who it is, I still miss you
I want you back in my life
I want you back in my life

Don't know how it's been for you
Are you seeing someone?
Just tell me, are you happy?
It's good to hear your voice again
Better if you tell me you still want me
Cause you still have me
You're the one thing that matters
Do I matter too?

If you think baby after so long
That I'm over you baby you're so wrong
I want you back
Every time I kiss, I still kiss you
No matter who it is, I still miss you
I want you back in my life
I want you back in my life

Maybe I'm living in a dreamland
Asking for a slap in the face
But I just had to call you, just in case
Just in case

Catch my heart before it shatters
And make me live again

If you think baby after so long
That I'm over you baby you're so wrong
I want you back
Every time I kiss, I still kiss you
No matter who it is, I still miss you
I want you back

If you think baby after so long
That I'm over you baby you're so wrong
I want you back in my life
I want you back in my life
I want you back

When the song ended, Peyton just sat there surprised. That hadn't been what she expected at all. Come to think of it, she didn't know what she had expected. It had been five years since she last spoke to Pete. The day he started his first tour with the band. The day he broke up with her.

She could still see both of them standing there in front of the bus. He told her he was breaking up with her and when she asked why, he had given her the 'the band comes first now, I can't handle a relationship right now' excuse. Then he got onto the bus and she just stood there in the pouring rain, watching the love of her life drive away.

But when the years passed and the band grew bigger and bigger, the love she had felt for him changed into hate and empathy. Her tears every time she saw his face on TV changed into angry and annoyed growls and nights of partying to forget him. She would go out, get herself drunk and wake up at in different bed every morning. The alcohol lost his attraction after a while and she started searching for other things that would get her out of reality. She started doing drugs and even mixed them with alcohol after a while.

It was at one of those nights that she had taken a bunch of Atavan and mixed it with a bottle of vodka. That turned out not to be a good idea, since the next time she woke up, she was lying in a hospital bed.

Ironically enough, it had been Pete who made her realize she was going nowhere fast. The same week she got into the hospital, the newspapers screamed 'Fall Out Boy bassist ODs on Atavan'. It made her realize she had sunken as deep as he did when breaking up with her and she took her life back into her own hands. She had been clean for two years now and she had sworn never to let Pete get to her like that again.

There had been a time she also hated the other guys for taking him away, but after a while she had realized it wasn't their fault. She had always liked Patrick, Andy and Joe and she couldn't bring herself to hating them just because her ex-boyfriend was an ass.

And for some reason she also couldn't hate the band's music. Although she knew Pete wrote most of the lyrics, when she listened to their CDs, she forgot about that. She didn't even hear him play the bass, the only thing she was focused on was Patrick's voice. She had always loved his voice and it still had a calming effect on her after all this years.

That voice was also the main reason why she was going to the concert. When she read the band was coming to Chicago, she knew she had to be there. And it wasn't even until she was standing in line at the ticket boot and heard the two girls behind her talk about Pete Wentz, that she realized she would be seeing him as well. For a moment she thought of not buying a ticket and just getting back to her apartment, but then she decided to go through with it. She needed some closure and she thought this would be the way. So she bought a ticket, just to show herself he wasn't getting to her anymore.

And yet here she was. Sitting in her car, totally confused by what she just heard. Was he playing a joke on her? Why after all these years? And how did he find her?

Peyton came back to reality after a knock on the window on her side. She jumped a little but then saw a older woman standing next to the car.

"Are you okay sweetie?" the woman asked giving her a concerned smile.

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you mam," she answered while forcing a polite smile onto her face.

The woman didn't look really convinced but still walked away. Peyton followed the woman for a moment and then looked at the clock on her dashboard, causing her to jump again. There were only two hours left before the concert and she still had to get ready. She quickly got out of the car, closed it and walked to her apartment, trying very hard not to think about Pete.

-x-

Pete Wentz was sitting in the bands dressing room after the concert. They had just ended their show in Chicago. The crowd had been amazing and Pete would have probably categorized the show as one of the best he had ever played, if it hadn't been for her.

Somewhere during the second half, he had noticed her. Peyton had been standing at the left side of the crowd, a couple of rows from where Joe was playing. When he switched places with Joe, he tried to capture her attention, but she kept her eyes focused on Patrick. She looked more beautiful then he remembered. And she seemed happy. Happy without him.

And now he was sitting in the dressing room, feeling heartbroken. He knew he didn't deserve her. Not anymore. But when he had noticed her, he had wished for a sign she felt the same way as he did. That she still loved him and wanted to forgive him for being so stupid.

He could still see her standing in the pouring rain, watching him drive out of her life. The image had hunted him for months and he had regretted his decision from day one. But he never found the courage to call her again. One night, he wrote and recorded a song for her, but he never sent it.

Instead he went into sleepless nights full of partying and drunk meaningless sex. His insomnia reached a top and one night caused him to OD on Atavan and end up in the hospital. After that, things slowly got better with the help of Patrick, Joe and Andy. He could never totally forget about Peyton, but he pushed her to the back of his mind.

Until this afternoon that is. The tour bus had stopped at the local Starbucks and while Joe, Patrick and Andy had been signing autographs, he had sneaked out through the back. Chicago had always been hard for him to come back to. He needed to clear his head, so he had pulled his hood deep over his head to avoid fans and went for a small walk.

He had only walked a few streets when a parked car caught his attention.

"It can't be!" he muttered to himself.

But there was no doubt about it. This was Peyton's car. The small bear was still hanging at the driving mirror and the car was as messy as always. While he was staring at the car, he realized he had his hand on the CD he once recorded for her. He still carried it around with him everywhere he went, like some sort of talisman. It had become a part of him, like the pen and paper he always carried, in case he had an idea for some lyrics. He looked at the CD for a moment and made a decision. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen from his pocket and quickly wrote a note, put it into the CD case and put the CD on the front window of the car.

He looked at the CD for a moment and then turned around. "What doesn't kill me makes me stronger," he said to himself while walking away.

And now he was sitting here in the dressing room. He still didn't know why he left the CD on her car. What if she didn't find the CD? And what did he expect if she did?

A knock on the door woke Pete up from his thoughts. He looked up and watched a security guard enter the room.

"Can we help you?" Joe asked politely. "Are there any problems?"

"No sir, everything is fine. I was just asked to give this note to Mr. Wentz," the guy answered.

"I thought we made it clear that we didn't want any fan letters today and that you just had to collect them and we will pick them up later?" Andy said a little annoyed.

The security guard turned a little red but answered, "I know sir. But this girl said you wouldn't mind making an exception for her. She told me..."

"I don't care what she told you, we..." Patrick started.

"Just let the guy finish. It's not his fault," Pete interrupted him.

They looked at each other for a moment. Patrick knew Pete had been walking on the tips of his toes all day, so he decided not to push the subject and looked back at the security guard. "She told you what?"

"She told me to tell Mr. Wentz 'My pen is the barrel of the gun. Remind me which side you should be on.' and that he would understand," the guard said before dropping the paper on Pete's lap and quickly leaving the room.

A complete silence fell over the room. Pete looked at his friends, who were all three staring back at him. Then, as fast as he could, he unfolded the paper and started reading.

boys like you are overrated so save your breath
the only thing you'll get is this curse on your lips:
I hope they taste of me forever
cause every pane of glass that your pebbles tap
negates the pains i went through to avoid you
and every little pat on the shoulder for attention
fails to mention i still hate you

but there's a light on in chicago

No name on the paper, but just like Peyton earlier that day, Pete didn't need one.

No I forgive you or I miss you too. And still Pete felt something he didn't expect. He had been doubting his decision, he had played all kind of scenarios in his head, but somehow he never expected to feel hope. And yet that was exactly what he felt.

He grabbed his hoodie from the couch and turned to the guys.

"Is it hers?" was all Joe asked. They all knew what he had been thinking about all day.

Pete smiled, grabbed the paper and cited, "Boys like you are overrated, so save your breath. The only thing you'll get is this curse on your lips: I hope they taste of me forever. Cause every pane of glass that your pebbles tap negates the pains I went through to avoid you. And every little pat on the shoulder for attention fails to mention I still hate you... But there's a light on in Chicago." He paused for a moment, looked up to his three friends and then said, "And I know I should be home."

-x-

Twenty minutes later, a taxi stopped in front of Peyton's apartment building.

Pete gave the driver some money and said, "Thank you, keep the change," while getting out of the car. He quickly walked into the hall and checked the names on the mailboxes. P. Jones, apartment 9A. Pete rushed to the stairs and didn't slow down until he was in front of her door.

After taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door. He heard a familiar voice yell, "I'm coming."

A couple of seconds later, the door opened and there she was. So close she looked even more beautiful then from a distance in the crowd. They just stood there looking in each others eyes for a moment. When Pete got out of his trance, he finally was sure he was doing the right thing.

"So a hot girl quotes me to me. Is that wrong if that turns me on?" he asked her with his famous smirk.

"It probably is, but I don't really care," Peyton smiled.

Seeing her smile again after all these years made Pete melt. He didn't waste anymore time and his lips crashed down on hers. Peyton felt his arms around her waist and she put her arms around his neck. She walked backwards into the apartment and closed the door with her foot.

When they finally broke apart, they were sitting on the couch. Peyton gently let her head rest against his chest. Feeling his warm body against hers, she realized she had never really gotten over him. "I missed you so much," she muttered.

"I missed you too. But you won't ever have to miss me again. Today is the first day of the rest of our life. Together, always and forever, I promise you," Pete whispered before planting a soft kiss the top of her head.

Notes:

Song on Pete's tape is not mine! It's by the Belgian artist Natalia: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRAp-PiQV9A