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He messed up.
He messed up so badly.
But before we get into that, some context.
Over the next few weeks after Atsumu and Kiyoomi’s hook-up, they didn’t see each other all that much. It wasn’t a personal thing on either side, but instead, a force of their careers. They were playing in a winter tournament, and so the hours put into practicing sky-rocketed. If they weren’t at practice, they were too tired to make plans. Besides, it wasn’t like they weren’t seeing each other. No, in fact they probably spent most of their days together between practice, and meals that Coach Foster made them eat. So they were seeing each other, but it was in a professional setting. They threw themselves into the tournament, feeling that they actually had a shot to win this one this year. Between the recruitment of Hinata and Kiyoomi, the team was pretty strong.
As expected of them, the Black Jackals tore through the tournament and they soon found themselves in the finals against the Schweiden Adlers. The game turned out better than expected with the Black Jackals winning, 3 to 1. The game didn’t seem all that special to Kiyoomi. It was nice to finally ease some of the competitive tension between himself and Ushijima. With some friendly boasting, he was finally able to gloat.
“Wakatoshi-san, this is the second time I have beaten you. Perhaps it is that you are not all the people say you are?” Kiyoomi tried his hardest to keep a straight face, but it was difficult while seeing his creased eyebrow. It was evident that he was frustrated.
“Kiyoomi-kun, why do you still talk of highschool? Is it that you have no other choice but to revert to years old victories to hang over my head? It is ill will to talk of things that happened years ago.” He stuck his hand out from under the net for a handshake that Kiyoomi gladly recuperated.
He shrugged, “Well, it has been a while since we’ve been in the same league.”
“Ah yes, how was Collegiate Volleyball?”
“Different, but I did enjoy it.”
“Of course you would enjoy it, that happens when you play below your level, Kiyoomi.”
He laughed. Ushijima had been talking about this for years. He didn’t understand why Kiyoomi would go to college when he had D1 teams scouting him before he even graduated high school. To be fair, Kiyoomi didn’t even know why he went to college. He had every intention to play professional Volleyball, and so didn’t need a degree. His parents insisted, however.
“I feel like I’ve explained this a few times before. I’m sure my parents would have had a heart attack if ‘I didn’t use my brain for something important like getting a college degree’.”
He had gotten a degree in business management, as per his parents' request. He didn’t intend to use it ever, but it was there. He had a diploma sitting in a closet somewhere.
“Maybe you did mention something like that earlier.”
“No offense to either of ya, but I’ve never seen as much passive aggressiveness in that little of sentences.” Atsumu ran by the two of them.
“Miya-san.”
“Ushiwaka-kun.”
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. How have you been?”
“Just peachy. Come on, Omi-kun, we’re being invited out to dinner by Meian. He’s pissed we keep ditching.”
Ushijima reaches out to shake Atsumu’s hand, “So I assume you two have gotten closer. I always knew you worked well together since that training camp all those years ago.”
Kiyoomi felt his face flush, Ushijima had no idea just how right he was.
Atsumu just cocked an eyebrow, “You were watching us? Were we that cool to have captured yer attention when we were just baby, first years? You flatter us Ushiwaka.”
“Well,” He shrugged, “I could see that you both had talent. Of course I was paying attention. I had to figure out how the two of you played, because I knew we were going to be in competition against each other one day. And I was right, Itachiyama won against us that year. Inarizaki, you guys did well, from what I heard.”
Atsumu scowled, “We played fantastic, I’ll have ya know.”
“I’m sure you did. I just didn’t watch that game, so I wouldn’t know.”
“Shokkun, Tsum-Tsum, Sakkun! Meian-san says we are leaving soon so get your asses in the locker room!” Bokuto yelled from across the court while holding on to Akaashi’s arm.
Akaashi, since they didn’t have a job they needed to report to at this time, had managed to make it to all of their games since getting engaged. It was evident in the way that Bokuto had been playing for the past month how it had been affecting him. That was to say that he had been playing better than he ever had before, and was probably the reason that they were able to steal a win from the Schweiden Adlers.
“I guess we will see you at a later date, Wakatoshi-kun,” Kiyoomi gave him a quick bow, as Bokuto stood there with a hand on his hip, expectantly.
“I don’t know how much later that will be, because I think we are going out together. You guys celebrate your win, and us to console our loss.”
“Really,” Atsumu asked, not really looking for an answer, “I guess we’ll see ya later then.”
As Atsumu was shuffling Kiyoomi towards the locker room, he leaned down into his ear and whispered, “ I can’t get over how much that man reminds me of Kita.”
Kiyoomi hadn’t seen it before, but now that Atsumu had pointed it out, he couldn’t un-see it. He looked back at Ushijima who had gone over to talk to Kageyama, Hinata, and Hoshiumi, and noted that those two were very similar. He could see them getting along well, even without knowing Kita very well.
Kiyoomi and Atsumu were nearly in the locker room when Bokuto stopped being distracted by Akaashi to realize that Hinata hadn’t moved an inch towards the locker room.
“Hinata Shoyo! Get your ass over here!” and everyone watched as Hinata froze, having gotten caught, “I don’t care that you’re trying to fuck Kageyama-kun. We need to leave.”
Hinata’s eyes got wide as he stared at Bokuto in disbelief. Akaashi just laughed beside him, having been subjected to Kageyama and Hinata’s pinning since their days in highschool. Anyone with eyes could see that those two loved each other, or at the very least found each other attractive. Except, apparently those two. Hinata anxiously turned his head back and forth from Bokuto and Kageyama, trying to see the reactions between the two of them. Kageyama, true to himself during highschool, just stood there frozen, blushing furiously.
“Kageyama!” Kiyoomi called out to his old acquaintance, “Did you not know that? I was under the impression that the two of you had been in love since your first year of highschool, was I wrong?”
Kageyama looked at everyone surrounding him, suddenly overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people who knew that he had been infatuated with Hinata for so long. He looked everywhere, except for Hinata. He mostly glared at Bokuto, and Atsumu. Kiyoomi didn’t know why he was glaring at Atsumu, he hadn’t really done anything to him in this situation, but they didn’t like each other all that much since Kageyama’s first training camp.
“Bokuto!! You didn’t need to be so vulgar about it!” Hinata complained, trying to avoid looking in Kageyama’s direction, but eventually caved, “Kageyama, I-”
Everyone waited for what Hinata would say.
“Sorry.” He apologized quickly and ran for the locker rooms.
“Well,” Akaashi shrugged, “That’s one way to get him to go to the locker rooms.”
Kageyama averted his gaze and uttered, “Boke,” under his breath.
“Well, Tobio-chan,” Atsumu shifted on his foot and folded his arms, “Are ya going to go get yer Shrimp?”
“R-right!” And he took off towards the locker rooms, MSBY’s locker rooms.
“Oh God,” Hoshiumi rolled his eyes and grabbed the back of his Setter’s jersey, “They mean later, you idiot. Even I picked up on that.”
“Yes, Kageyama, we all support you in your romantic endeavors, but please remember that it is against the rules for our team to go into the Black Jackal’s designated locker rooms. You can see him at dinner tonight.”
“We apologize for Kageyama, he gets over-excited. Especially when it comes to Hinata,” Captain Hirugami rolled his eyes in passing as he was walking towards the locker rooms.
It seems like Hinata’s name was a common thing for the Schweiden Adlers. It wasn’t a surprising thing, because for some reason nearly everyone Hinata met in highschool seemed to have a friendly competition against him. Most notable being Kageyama’s but Ushijima and Hoshiumi’s were nothing to shrug at either. The competition didn’t even stop at the Schweiden Adlers either. It was noticeable on MSBY as well. Bokuto was too old when he met Hinata to feel uncomfortable enough to strike up a competition with him, but Atsumu wasn’t. Atsumu and Hinata didn’t even play the same position, but still felt the need to continue a rivalry from high school.
“Oh God, Meian is going to be pissed at us,” Bokuto’s face paled, as he realized just how long they had remained standing on the court.
It brought it to Kiyoomi’s attention too, and he exchanged one glance with Atsumu before both of them bolted for the locker room, leaving Bokuto behind.
“Wait!” He exclaimed, “Wait for me!”
He wasn’t in the habit of leaving Akaashi without saying goodbye, so he pressed a kiss to their forehead, and ran off towards the locker room. Akaashi just walked out of the gym to find a quiet space to wait for Bokuto to finish in the locker room. They had to push through crowds of people trying to ask them questions. It was always like that when they went to Bokuto’s games. This was the worst part of it. There were supporters, and there were haters who misgendered them and slandered their relationship to Bokuto, but it didn’t matter if they were supporters or haters because they were loud. It overwhelmed him. Still, their love for watching Bokuto play outweighed this, so they still came to every game they could.
Within the next ten to twenty minute the team poured out of the locker room, Bokuto being one of the first people out, despite the fact he was the last person in. Akaashi chalked it up to the entire team enjoying lengthy showers. While waiting for the rest of them to come out of the locker room, Akaashi and Bokuto met up with the Hinatas who apparently went to watch the game.
“Bokuto-san!” Natsu exclaimed when she saw him.
Hinata Natsu had been around MSBY a lot in the past year. She spent some of the summer with Hinata and attended a majority of their practices during that time. She even got to play in a few of them. It was needless to say that they were pretty surprised when she could keep up with most of them.
Other than that, the team enjoyed having her around. She was the only one of them who had ever beaten Hinata in a race, and that gave her a lot of street cred among all of them.
“Nat-chan!” Bokuto bent down and hugged her, “It’s good to see you again! Your brother didn’t tell us that you two were coming.”
Their mother stepped in, “That’s because we didn’t tell him. Apparently he gets ‘nervous’ when we watch him play. Wouldn’t want that messing up your game play this afternoon.”
“Definitely not.” He grinned, “If all of us weren’t playing at 100% tonight, I don’t think we would have won this game.”
“Well, Bokuto, I think you were playing at 100% today. Natsu was making comments on how good your stature was in this game.” their mom patted his back.
“I was not!” Natsu flushed red, embarrassed from her mother bringing up her analysis, “It was just an off handed comment, Bo-chan, I swear.”
“Ah thanks guys, but I think you should give credit where it’s due. It’s all thanks to Keiji. Unlike our Shokkun, I actually like having people watch me play.” He gestured to where Akaashi was standing behind them.
“I take it you’re Akaashi-san?” She asked, as she pulled him in for a hug, “I’ve heard a lot about you. All good things, dear.”
“As have I. You’re a big name around MSBY, ma’am, I’ve heard all about how much they love you on the team.” Akaashi responded as he pulled away from the hug after a moment.
“Nice catch, Bo-chan!” Natsu cast a smile over at him and stuck her hand out for Akaashi to shake, “It’s nice to meet you, Akaashi-san.”
“Yeah,” Bokuto frowned, almost perplexed, “I really don’t know how I did it.”
“You as well. It’s a wonder our visits haven’t overlapped already. And Koutarou, stop acting like it's such a weird thing that we are getting married. It’s not! We’ve been dating for like 6 years.”
“Oop, I gotcha in trouble. My bad, Bokuto.” Natsu grinned, just as Hinata walked out of the locker room and caught sight of his little sister.
“Natsu!” He drew the attention of everyone, “What are you doing here?”
“Baby,” His mom cocked an eyebrow, “You do realize I’m here as well, don’t you?”
“Mom!” He swerved from Natsu’s direction to hug her.
“Ugh, rude.” She rolled her eyes.
Kiyoomi walked out of the locker room next with his face suspiciously red. Atsumu followed, exactly five minutes after, also red. Natsu seemed to be the only person who caught on to this. She gave Atsumu a knowing look and cast a glance to the teammate she had yet to meet. She didn’t remember Atsumu being gay, but figured that was the only explaination.
Atsumu took his place beside Kiyoomi, and met Natsu’s knowing eyes, “Omi, I hope ya don’t mind, but I’m pretty sure that Natsu is seeing right through us.”
That got Kiyoomi’s attention, and he turned from listening in to Bokuto and Akaashi conversation to the girl named Natsu, who had Hinata’s unmistakable orange hair. She did look smug with her arms folded, and a smirk splayed across her face. If Atsumu was worried, then he was probably right, but Kiyoomi didn’t know how she had come to know so quickly. They hadn’t even said a damning word since walking out.
Natsu had enough of her distanced gloating and decided to make them sweat a little. From what Hinata had told her, they weren’t in a relationship, but he was suspicious of them from a certain day in a cafe. What Natsu had seen was pretty damning. They both walked out of the locker room with red faces, and sure it could be insinuated what they were doing, but locker rooms were also hot. It wasn’t exactly stone cold evidence, but the blossoming hickey that just barely became visible with the shift of Kiyoomi’s shirt certainly was. That with the red faces, and the particular way they walked out of the locker room almost made her certain that there was something between the two of them, and that’s what made her smug.
She walked over to the two of them and took in how Kiyoomi uncomfortably shifted away from Atsumu. It was like he was being caught. Natsu decided that she liked Kiyoomi, he was a terrible liar. Plus he looked funny being the only one of them wearing a mask.
“Hey Tsum!” She smiled widely at him.
Atsumu made a face, “Nat-chan, it’s nice to see you.”
Atsumu knew that Natsu was good at reading situations. That was one thing that she had that Hinata didn’t have. Atsumu loved Hinata, but he was entirely convinced that a rock could read the room better than him.
“How was your shower?” She asked, keeping an innocent expression.
“It was fine-”
“Was it fun?”
Atsumu narrowed his eyes, catching on that she already knew something was up between the two of them, “You are scary sometimes Hinata Natsu. Seriously, it’s weird.”
“Because it certainly looks like Sakusa-san had fun taking his.”
It was all Kiyoomi could do not to choke at her words.
“Hey! Tsum-Tsum, Sakkun! We are leaving, so grab your bags and get on the bus!” Bokuto called, effectively saving them from further interrogation.
“Nice to meet you, Sakusa-san,” Natsu smiled and stuck a hand out for him to shake.
“Our Omi-kun doesn’t do handshakes, Nat-chan. Nice try though,” Atsumu patted her head, “And enough trying to get information from us. You have bigger fish to fry, m’darling.”
“Oh yeah, and what's bigger than an affair between teammates?”
“An affair between teams. Shoyo met up with Tobio-chan today, and his face had more color than his hair. Go bug yer brother, ya little ankle-biter.”
“Thanks for the tip, Tsum!”
“We are eat’n dinner with the Schweiden Adlers t’night. Make sure you put yer skills to some good use, and third wheel ‘em all night. Make sure he gets noth’n from Tobio-chan.”
“You got it, boss,” Natsu laughs but salutes, and runs off.
Natsu ended up being true to her word, and stuck by Hinata’s side all night long. Unfortunately for everyone, Hinata ended up sitting next to Bokuto all night along with Kageyama. Bokuto, being the social butterfly he was, attracted all of both teams near him. Everyone suddenly became subjected to Hinata and Kageyama’s increasingly drunken flirting. It was painful.
Natsu turned to Atsumu, “No beer for you?”
“Nah,” He shrugged, “I’m not drinking much these days.”
“Sad life,” Natsu shook her head.
“You,” Natsu’s mother pointed at her, “are a highschool student, stop it.”
Everyone’s attention was once again directed to Hinata’s drunken flirting. It was horrible, truly. Natsu rolled her eyes, “I swear to God, I could pull boys faster than Shoyo.”
“Stop bullying your brother. He’s trying his best.”
After a third “BOKE!! Hinata, boke!” from Kageyama and Hinata just laughing at the old nickname, everyone groaned. It got their attention, and they, finally after a couple hours, realized they weren’t the only ones around. They probably knew that other people were around, but this was the first time they actually acknowledged everyone else.
Hirugami rolled his eyes, having been elected the one to talk to Kageyama from the Adlers, “Listen, Kageyama, we all love you, but I’m officially cutting you off.”
“But I’m not even that drunk.”
“But you are annoying. Go back to the hotel. Hell, you can even take Hinata with you if you want, but we are trying to have a night of consolation and catching up with your highschool crush is killing the mood. Go home!”
“Anyways,” Natsu cast a look at the scene behind her, but quickly turned back to the conversation she was having with Atsumu and Kiyoomi, “I’m glad you kept the toner I gave you.”
Kiyoomi’s eyes shot open wide, “ You’re the one who showed Atsumu toner?”
Atsumu scowled at Natsu, “She made a rather rude comparison, and then went out and bought toner, and made me tone my hair after practice one day.”
“To be fair, your hair did look like piss.”
“That is fair.” Kiyoomi agreed while tipping back a drink.
“It’s not like I’m the only one who’s committed hair atrocities. Like, Natsu, what would you do to Omi-Omi’s hair? Come on, there has to be something!”
Natsu took a minute to scrutinize Kiyoomi’s hair, “I’m going to level with you here, Tsum, I don’t think anyone has committed a hair atrocity worse than yours. Especially not Sakusa-san. His hair is actually very pretty. Although it is pretty floppy.”
“Hey-” Kiyoomi tried to protest.
“-But,” Natsu sent a glare over at him, “hair clips would probably help him. Your hair gets in your face a lot, does it not, Sakusa?”
Kiyoomi thought about it for a second, and frowned when he realized that she was right, “You have a point, I admit.”
“I’ll send some hair clips to Shoyo. It will probably help you see without having to wear one of those God-awful sports headbands.”
“Wait,” Atsumu stopped to think, “Wait, you’d actually look good in hair clips. Hinata Natsu, how do you know so much about hair?”
“Miya Atsumu, I have eyes. It doesn’t take a genius to know that you needed some damn toner, but yeah clips would look good on you, Sakusa. I’ll find you some good ones, and I’m sure Shoyo can show you how to put them on. God knows I’ve made him clip back my hair so many times,” Natsu smiled.
Everyone noticed Kageyama and Hinata walked out of the bar only a few minutes later, and MSBY let out cheers for Hinata. They had all come to the agreement that he needed someone new in his life. He had let himself get too caught up with Oikawa, and everyone thought Kageyama could do some good for him. He, at least, wasn’t in a long term relationship with a childhood friend that he had been in love with for years. So that was a step up from Oikawa.
“Well,” Natsu’s mom reached over and ruffled her hair, “I think that’s our cue to go, and make sure your brother makes it back to a hotel.”
“No!” Natsu whined, “I was telling Sakusa all about the hairclips he should wear!”
She rolled her eyes at her daughter, but smiled at Atsumu and Sakusa, “Thanks for entertaining her tonight, but now we’ve got to track Shoyo’s phone so we know he hasn’t died,” she then responded, “Hair clips would look good on you Sakusa.”
“Thank you, ma’am.”
“Good-bye Bokuto-san!” Natsu yelled over the noise.
Bokuto pulled away from Akaashi for one second to respond, “Good-bye Nat-chan!”
Kiyoomi looked over to where Akaashi and Bokuto were sitting. Akaashi had their legs draped across his lap and Bokuto had his head on their shoulder. They looked so comfortable, and at ease with their positions, and their surroundings. Kiyoomi quietly wondered if he would ever be able to experience that. He quickly pushed the thought away because it was stupid, of course he would be able to experience it. Still, there was a lot of doubt that swam about in his mind. His life didn’t seem to be going in that direction.
“Keiji,” Bokuto started.
Akaashi pressed a kiss to his head, which he leaned into.
“What do you think of having kids?”
Kiyoomi watched as Akaashi didn’t even flinch at the thought. He watched as Akaashi didn’t even seem surprised at the question. He watched as Akaashi just quietly considered it completely, because both of them were at that point in their relationship. They were comfortable enough with each other and where they stood to ask questions like that.
“Mm,” Akaashi laid their head on Bokuto’s, “Yeah, I have thought about it.”
“And?”
“I think that is something I’d want.”
Bokuto smiled from underneath them, and wrapped an arm around Akaashi’s waist.
Kiyoomi wanted that. Not kids, he had known that for years, but he wanted to be at a point in his relationships where he would need to talk about the future. He craved connection to a person on more than a superficial attraction, but instead a reliance on the other. He had never had such a thing before, he had never allowed himself to have such a thing, but he wanted it badly. He was far, far away, from it, but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t work towards it.
And that sort of mindset mixed with some alcohol in his system made for a perfect storm.
Kiyoomi put his hand on Atsumu’s thigh suddenly. He was beyond the point of caring who saw. He was beyond the point of anything really. He was drunk on the prospect of making their relationship more important to Atsumu. He just wanted to be important like that to someone. He wanted to be thought of the way Bokuto thought of Akaashi. He wanted more than whatever this thing was, but he couldn’t because that’s not what Atsumu wanted.
Kiyoomi could try to convince him. He could try, not through words because words mean nothing, but through a bold sort of passion. So he moved his hand further up his thigh, and pressed his finger against his sweatpants that covered sensitive skin. Atsumu shivered under his touch, and bit back a breathy groan.
What would Bokuto or Akaashi do in this situation? What about Osamu and Rintarou? Aran and Kita? And Kuroo and Kenma? Even Hinata and damn Oikawa back during their Brazillian Fling? There were a lot of personalities to consider, and a lot of actions that could go down, but there was one thing that made all the difference between the rest of them and Kiyoomi and Atsumu. They were in established relationships. They were out to the world and didn’t care what the others thought about them. It made all the difference, because Kiyoomi knew they wouldn’t catch the other’s hand, and pulled it away with a whisper of “Not in public.”
Because they were a different sort of relationship than Kiyoomi and Atsumu.
Kiyoomi frowned at Atsumu.
Atsumu leaned in and whispered, “I don’t want to be here anymore.”
“Then let’s go back to the Hotel.”
To the Hotel, behind closed doors, that’s where they could be who they wanted to be. That’s where Kiyoomi could press hundreds upon thousands of kisses to Atsumu’s body without consequence. That’s where he could convince himself that this was nothing they were hiding, because how could this be a secret, a shameful secret, when Atsumu was so reactive to his touch? When he was so vocal to what felt good?
So Kiyoomi felt better behind closed doors. He felt like they were like Bokuto and Akaashi, Osamu and Rintarou, Aran and Kita, Kuroo and Kenma. In his mind he felt like they were everything he wanted to be, because he was reading so much care behind every action Atsumu took. Still, he knew that this wasn’t like them. This was nothing but a sad, washed out version of them, but that was okay in moments like these, because he could still pretend.
And that’s how he found himself hovering over Atsumu, pressing kisses to swollen lips, looking into his overblown pupils. He found himself able to pretend, and it was getting easier with every moment. He dragged his hips over Atsumu’s and heard the inhale of breath through his teeth. It pushed him forward, and made him desperate to regain that friction. Through a repeated motion, he got it.
“O-omi!” He rasped, unable to take the sheer amount of clothing still on them, “Ah, do that again, please!”
And so he did it again. He was in no position to deny him of his requests when he wanted them so desperately himself. Atsumu in turn thrust his hips upwards, drawing Kiyoomi’s voice out of him without his consent.
“Fuck,” Kiyoomi exhaled, “Fuck, you’re perfect.” And another sloppy kiss was buried deep in the crook of his neck.
Atsumu bit his tongue, but wasn’t able to keep back a whimper.
Kiyoomi had been keeping track of his responses to various things that he did. He liked Kiyoomi’s voice, he noted. Kiyoomi didn’t know that that realization was the final nail in his metaphorical coffin of the night. All of his thoughts swirled together, as flashes of the past few weeks came in passing to his head. They weren’t perfect, not in the slightest. They couldn’t be Bokuto and Akaashi, because their dynamics were all wrong. Their backstories were wrong too. Every moment, and every instance was wrong. They weren’t Bokuto and Akaashi, but they were Kiyoomi and Atsumu. They had their own dynamics to stick too.
And it wasn’t like Bokuto and Akaashi didn’t have their fair share of problems. They are evenly distributed between everyone, and even if Kiyoomi couldn’t name a single thing that was wrong with them, he knew they had to be there.
Kiyoomi grazed his teeth over the sensitive skin on Atsumu’s neck, and he dragged his hips over his erection, coaxing a loud groan from his lips. He fisted Atsumu’s hair, stimulating him just that much more. It all stimulated Kiyoomi as well. The sounds filling the air, quick kisses, the heat between them, the pressure, the constant need to go faster, to take more, it left him gasping for breath. It left him gasping for breath, and made his mind go fuzzy. It made his critical thinking leave him for the split second, except for that they were like Bokuto and Akaashi, or they could be like them if they wanted.
Pleasure rolled through his body in waves even though they weren’t doing anything yet. It kept his mind in the clouds and disconnected from whatever was happening down on earth. His mind was off, and in turn his filter was off. They could be like Bokuto and Akaashi.
“God,” Kiyoomi panted into the thickening air, “God, I love you.”
And that’s where he messed up.
Atsumu hesitated for the briefest second, but pressed a chaste kiss to Kiyoomi’s lips. A consolation, he realized. They carried on through the night. Atsumu kissed him, he bit at Kiyoomi’s neck, but it was slower than before. Kiyoomi tried to hurry them back up, still painfully hard and in desperate need of some kind of release, but it didn’t happen. Instead their kissing slowed down even further, each reaching some kind of limit of how much they could take. Atsumu, he was tired, and had much he needed to think about. Kiyoomi, he stopped because he was almost entirely certain that if he carried on, he would have cried, and he didn’t want to break into tears in front of Atsumu. Especially not over this.
Eventually they were just laying on Kiyoomi’s bed, Atsumu with his head on his shoulder, and their legs intertwined. Kiyoomi kept his eyes trained at the ceiling, he didn’t want Atsumu to see the beginnings of tears laced in his eyes. He kept his hand buried in Atsumu’s hair, and Atsumu had a hand on Kiyoomi’s chest. Every moment, every instance, Kiyoomi could feel longing. Even practically laying on top of each other, there was a wall Kiyoomi couldn’t seem to break down. He felt exhausted just staring at it, so he sat there leaving it unaddressed.
Everything seemed hard, but laying there with his hand in Atsumu’s hair and Atsumu’s hand on his chest, that seemed easy. So that’s what he did. They laid there for minutes with little breaks for conversation, until eventually Atsumu started pressing quick kisses all over Kiyoomi’s face. Kiyoomi laughed and Atsumu pressed a lingering kiss against his temple. Kiyoomi leaned into it, longing for simple intimacy like that.
“It’s late, Omi-Omi. I think I have to go back to my room now.”
“Stay,” Kiyoomi coaxed him and wrapped his free hand around Atsumu.
“I wish I could, baby, but I feel gross and I know you would be uncomfortable with me sleeping in yer bed without taking a shower after tonight. Besides, I feel kind of drunk,” Another kiss to his forehead.
“Baby”. Maybe all hope wasn’t lost.
Atsumu got out of his bed, and Kiyoomi followed with their hands interlaced. Atsumu looked at Kiyoomi with his messed up curls, and almost reconsidered. He didn’t end up changing his plans, but he did press one final kiss to his forehead.
“Yer cute, Kiyoomi.”
And then he walked out.
Kiyoomi could feel tears bit at the back of his eyelids, and he sat back down on his bed. He angrily stared at his erection through his pants. He stared at it, and with a bitter mind realized that it wasn’t going to go away. If it hadn’t gone away within those few minutes, it wasn’t going to go away on it’s own.
He felt the first few tears fall as he pulled his erection out of his pants.
He had messed up.