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Not Deaf Spencer, Do You See?

Summary:

"When I don't sign or forget to include you, it isn't because I really forget you, it's because I see you as Spencer - not deaf Spencer. Do you see?"

 

Tired after completing a case and the return flight to Quantico, JJ and Penelope share a laugh that they unintentionally block Spencer from. Thank God for Derek, and for JJ's own love for Doctor Spencer Reid.

Notes:

Short but sweet (I hope)

Work Text:

Spencer dumped his flight bag onto the seat beside him as he slipped down into the seat opposite Garcia and JJ at the conference room table. They'd just arrived back to Quantico after a four day stay in New Jersey and had congregated back at the BAU before leaving for the weekend, on what they hoped would be well-earned leave. He slapped his right hand onto the table and drummed his fingers until JJ gave him her full attention. She looked up from her almost completed report file with a frown and altered her expression quickly into a smile. "What's up?" She signed cautiously.

"I was thinking about Hotch's birthday." Spencer signed slowly so JJ could understand: it was taking time, but she - everyone, in fact - was getting so much better at both signing and understanding Spencer's conversational signs.

"Birthday?" JJ checked. Spencer gave an affirmative nod. "Okay," she questioned. "What about it?"

"We should throw him a party." Garcia supplied, just as exhausted as the returned travellers, and laughed as she threw dance moves into the air.

JJ laughed, turning around in her seat to face her. "He'd freak out. Remember Greenaway's birthday party? I thought he was going to throw up for sure."

Spencer tilted his head, trying to read her lips but her angle was off. Whatever she said made Penelope laugh and she threw back her head, mouth open wide in amusement. He frowned, unable to work out Garcia's reply as she spoke through a broad smile, throwing off her lip placement and rendering Spencer's skills useless. JJ laughed again, she slapped Garcia's arm with one hand as she covered her mouth with the other, clearly hysterical. Penelope said something else, distorted from Spencer's view as she bent toward JJ's ear to say it. When JJ laughed again, body folding up as she doubled over, Spencer's frown deepened, completely lost.

He sat back in his chair and glanced around him, catching Derek's eye as he leaned against the for jamb. He smiled and, lethargically, Spencer returned it. He raised his hands to chest height and set his face to something similar to concern.

"Are you okay?" He asked fluidly. Spencer nodded his head. "If it helps, you are not missing the worlds funniest joke or anything." He continued and inclined his head to JJ and Penelope, still laughing loudly. Spencer flattened his mouth, lips set in a thin line, and shrugged his indifference. "Are you ready to go home?"

Spencer shook his head and finally responded. "I like this seat. Close to the coffee." He jerked his head to the coffee pot and stacked cups on the shelf - clearly they'd been left behind by a cleaner.

At the movement opposite, JJ sobered, seeming to remember all of a sudden that she had forgotten about Spencer. She peered over her shoulder and smiled at Derek. She elbowed Garcia and she slowly cooled. "Remember Elle's birthday?" She asked Spencer.

Spencer gave a nod.

"We were just laughing - because when he..." JJ babbled, overtired and still giggling.

"Remember he had shots with Elle at the bar?" Derek sighed smoothly with speed. Spencer nodded again. "That's what they were laughing at, that he got so drunk." Spencer opened his mouth in a silent "oh" and nodded his head. He sat a minute then stood quickly, picking up his bag as he rose. He threw the long strap over his shoulder.

"See you both Monday?" He signed, gesturing between JJ and Penelope.

"Of course." Penelope smiled. "Goodnight sweetie."

JJ got to her feet as Spencer walked toward Derek. She tapped his shoulder as Derek straightened up to walk on with Spencer, ready to leave. Spencer stopped and turned around. JJ smiled sheepishly.

"I'm sorry. Even now I forget sometimes." She said, only signing the word 'sorry'. "What did you want to say, about Hotch's birthday?" She asked, fluidly signing Hotch's name but wavering on the other key signs.

Spencer made a dismissive face. "Not important."

"No, it is." JJ insisted. "I apologised, Spencer. Don't be an ass."

Spencer shook his head. "I'm tired." His hands moved swiftly. "And the idea that you forget who and what I am is hurtful and makes me angry. I do not want to discuss party celebrations right now." Derek winced at the ferocity of his signs as well as his message. "If that means I'm an ass, then okay. I'm going home. See you Monday."

JJ looked as apologetic and hurt as she did confused and lost in translation. But she held her own. "You're mad at me now? Because I was laughing and you feel like you weren't included, you're actually mad at me?" She asked, signs gone and slight anger creeping into her words. "It's not my fault you're deaf, Spencer." She regretted the words as she said them but she knew she had meant them.

"Jay..." Penelope gasped and hissed as she winced. Derek's face echoed his feeling without him opening his mouth. Spencer looked understandably hurt.

JJ closed her eyes and reached out for Spencer's arm as he turned away. "I didn't say that right." She circled her hand in 'sorry' as she spoke. "I didn't mean it like that - I meant, um, what I meant is that I don't always define you by being deaf, so when I don't sign or forget to include you, it isn't because I really forget you, it's because I see you as Spencer - not deaf Spencer. Do you see?"

Spencer stared at her a moment, breathing deeply, lips pursed. He blinked up at Derek, who gave him an expression that said: this is your call. Spencer nodded his head and pulled his lips into a half smile on the right side cheek, small but real. "Thank you." He signed slowly, his hand moving delicately away from his chin.

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