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The first thing Wei Ying does when he opens his eyes is whisper, with incredulous eyes shining with what are maybe tears - what the actual fuck.
He does not have a lot of time to think about it in the next hours - with how all what happened with the Mo family he doesn’t exactly have time to just stop and think, and process and just stop.
But some days later he lies awake in the middle of the night, Lan Wangji fast asleep by his side, he touches the face that isn’t exactly his but he can feel where his finger pokes at the tender flesh all the same, and for some reason his breath gets caught in his throat, because - what the actual fuck - he is alive. Not the type of semi existence that he was in the last thirteen years, not the restless and deep sleep-like state that his soul floated since that day in the Burial Mounds where his body was shattered to pieces and he got lost.
No, Wei Wuxian is alive. And just the thought alone is enough to make him shudder from head to toe. Lan Zhan body’s a warm presence by his side now that he knows that the man isn’t trying to get Wei Wuxian killed, again.
His heart won’t stop pounding against his ribcage and Wei Ying presses two fingers under his jaw, just feeling the rhythm of his blood vessels against the pads of the fingers in this stranger body. And he lies there wide eyed until he can see the faintest sunlight reflect against Lan Zhan’s face, the exhaustion gets the best of him and he sleeps, two fingers still under his jaw.
…
“Wei Ying”
Wei Wuxian makes a sound of acknowledgment, but does not move. In the corners of his eyes he can see Lan Wangji’s pristine white robes flutter and his voice sound again, unwavering and clear, if Wei Wuxian concentrates enough he can almost see the curves of Lan Zhan’s lips as he talks.
“Are you okay?”
Wei Ying finally pries his eyes from the small mirror that he's been staring at for the last ten minutes, he can see the slight curve of a frown in Lan Wangji pretty and immaculate left eyebrow, Wei Ying knows that means he is worried. He smiles at his husband, bent his neck in an awful uncomfortable angle to kiss the space between Lan Zhan’s eyes. “I’m fine Lan Zhan, I just spaced out” He hears a small huff from his lover, and watches as he dutifully goes back to answering his very important and very very boring letters.
His eyes go back to the small mirror in his hand, and he sees as two pretty eyes stare back at him. Even now, after almost a year of being back to the world of living, Wei Wuxian sometimes forgets. Forget that he does not wear the same face he did as before, does not have the same body, forgets that this is a borrowed body.
It always changes the ways it shows, sometimes it’s something simple as not being strong enough to carry things as he did as before, how now he has to tilt his head to look Lan Zhan in the eyes when they were about the same height as before, how his hair is more rebel in the humid weather or how he feels a lot more colder than before.
Other times are bigger signs that remember him, how Nie Huaisang sometimes talks with him about the time of before, before his death and before the war and talk about how Wei Wuxian used to brag about his looks when they were younger and more futile. Or how Jiang Cheng sometimes seems to take some time to remember who he is, and blinks at his face for some seconds when they meet each other, face blank, until recognition flashes in his eyes and he is scowling. Another time is Lan Zhan, who looks at Wei Ying with so much adoration and traces the line of his features with a cautelous and trembling finger. Wei Wuxian puts the mirror down and puts his head in his husband shoulder and breathes in his scent ‘til all he have in his mind is Lan Zhan and the warm feeling in his heart.
…
The realization strikes Wei Wuxian like lightning in the most random moments. Like Jiang Cheng just jumped out of a bush and whipped him with Zidian. Like right now, he is with Lan Zhan and Sizhui, his head in his husband's lap while they listen to their son play a song in the guqin. The song makes something sweet and tender curls in Wei Wuxian’s underdeveloped core.
And there’s a shiver running down his spine and he takes a sharp breath.
Holy Fuck. He is alive.
He passed thirteen years dead, restless and without peace wandering around and hurting and waiting and yearning.
But now he is here. With his husband who is way too good for him and their son who is also way too good for him, and Wei Wuxian feel a tenderness he used to feel just towards Yanli and Jiang Cheng. He looks up, to Lan Zhan beautiful face and Sizhui elegant finger play the strings of the guqin.
He looks to the leaves of the tree that they sit under and watches as the sun pours between them and lands in the face of these people that Wei Wuxian loves so, so much. The corners of his eyes are wet but he is smiling, and deep down in his heart, after so much time Wei Wuxian is happy that he is alive.