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1.
Shouto sees it all.
He sees how Izuku places those lips so softly and sweetly on Ochako’s cheek. She always giggles and pulls him into a lovely, gentle kiss that shows just how much they’re in love.
Shouto can’t compete with that. It’s so painfully obvious that they’re in love. And they’re happy. There’s always laughs whenever they’re around and their smiles are brighter than the sun and Shouto wants to be happy for his friends. He wants to smile at him and be happy for them because they deserve to be happy. After everything they’ve gone through in 1-A and 2-A, they’re finally together after years of pain and suffering.
Shouto can’t be happy, though. He wants to be the one kissing the brown-haired girl’s cheek. They seem squishy. Plump. Adorable. He wants to kiss Ochako and laugh with her and smile brightly at her.
But she’s so happy with him.
One night, 3-A plays truth or dare. Mina dares Izuku and Ochako to kiss each other. Obviously, they pull each other into a gentle kiss, but then Ochako opens her eyes, and her face, her goddamn gorgeous, adorable, beautiful face has an unreadable look. Her eyes are starry, her smile is larger than ever, and Izuku’s eyes go wide before he pulls her into another kiss.
Abruptly, Shouto stands up stiffly and walks towards his room. Nobody questions him. Usually, he isn’t very talkative so they must’ve assumed he got bored.
He wasn’t bored.
2.
2 years into the pro hero life.
Shouto is currently fighting a villain with his new partner. Apparently he used to go to Ketsubutsu, but Shouto’s never met him before.
His name is Shindou Yo, but over the past 2 years, they’ve gotten so close that they’re on a first-name basis now.
A quick flash goes past Shouto, barely skimming his cheek. A red cut appears on his cheek, but that’s not what Shouto is worried about right now.
Yo. Is Yo okay?
He is not.
Later on, Shouto visits him in the hospital, only to meet his girlfriend. Her name is Tatami Nakagame. Apparently she and Shindou got together in their first year of highschool.
“You never told me you had a girlfriend, Yo.” Shouto says, and he shuffles uncomfortably. Nobody notices.
“Ah! My bad, Shouto. I swear I’ve mentioned it before. Maybe it was at a bar.” Shindou smirks, his usual cocky smirk that makes Shouto’s heart pump incredibly fast.
Of course it was at a bar, when Shouto was possibly drunk or tipsy and couldn’t comprehend words properly.
Later, when Shindou and Nakagame ask him to go out with them for dinner to properly introduce her, Shouto ignores the way his sunken heart beats brokenly in his stomach.
3.
Shouto wonders if he can ever be loved.
Is love even a real thing?
Surely it is. Maybe it’s just not meant for him. Izuku and Ochako are in love. Shindou and Nakagame are in love.
His family never loved him. All of his first loves were a failure.
Shouto flops face down onto his pillow, then turns onto his back. He sighs, staring at his ceiling.
He chews on the bottom of his lips.
Shouto’s pathetic.
He’s doing all of the right things. He’s giving himself time to heal. It’s been an entire year since he found out about Shindou’s girlfriend. About 3 years after healing over Ochako.
Is Shouto too annoying?
He sighs and grabs his phone, turning it on and scrolling through the newest hero articles. Surely nothing important happened, but he might as well. It’s not like anything bad has happened, and he’s bored-
Ah.
Shouto should really stop underestimating his bad luck.
THIS JUST IN!
PRO HEROES RED RIOT AND CHARGEBOLT OFFICIALLY ANNOUNCING QUEER RELATIONSHIP!
Click On This Link For More Information!
Shouto stares at Denki’s happy smile.
Beautiful as always.
He turns his phone off and forces himself to go to sleep.
4.
Shouto wants the ground to suck him up and eat him.
“Iida, I-”
“Ah! Tenya! There you are! I’ve been looking for you all over the pla- Todoroki?”
Shouto’s head snaps towards the voice, where a black-haired female runs towards him and smiles brightly at him.
“Todoroki! I’m so happy to see you.” Yaoyorozu smiles. “I haven’t heard from you in a while. How have you been?”
“Good.” Shouto says, and curses himself for his once again bad luck.
“Hello, Momo.” Iida smiles warmly at her. Shouto knows that stupid smile. He sees it on everyone. Everyone has that same smile that makes him want to slam his own face into a wall. He hates that smile. Everytime he sees it, he feels more pain and suffering.
Shouto just wants a family.
When Yaoyorozu and Iida bid them goodbye, Shouto watches them link fingers and he goes to take his anger out at Bakugou’s place, where they spar for endless hours.
5.
Shouto should’ve seen this coming. Yet, he is dumb. He’s dumb and stupid. And he hates this. Is it so bad to wish for happiness?
He just wanted to get some fresh air, but apparently the universe hates him because he now has the picture of Sero, the one person he thought he could snatch, and Mina, one of his best friends kissing under the moonlight.
The fucking moonlight. Seriously?
Did they have to be so cheesy while Shouto was breaking apart one by one?
Apparently they did have to.
Shouto hates this.
Has he done something in his past life? Has he somehow upset the gods? Are there even gods? Shouto wants to punch a wall.
Shouto finally, finally breaks down in a bathroom. Slow, steady tears run down his face and he wonders if anybody could come find him. It would be embarrassing, for sure but he wants somebody to come. Nobody ever notices him. He wants to cry with someone. He wants a shoulder.
Somebody. Please.
A knock sounds on the bathroom stall, apparently right as Shouto is about to wipe his tears and force himself to hold them back.
+1
“Todoroki? What the fuck are you doing in there for so long?” a gruff voice sounds, and Shouto can’t be more than relieved that it wasn’t Sero. Or Ochako, or Shindou, or Kaminari, or Iida.
“Ah, Bakugou.” Shouto says, and he thanks the unfair universe that at least his voice doesn’t waver. “What are you doing here?”
“How about what are you doing in there?” Bakugou grunts.
“I’m not doing anything.” Shouto says, and his voice wavers this time. Fuck the universe.
“Todoroki, what’s going on in there?” Bakugou asks, and although his voice is still sharp and gruff, there’s something in there. Concern?
“Nothing.”
“Todoroki.”
“Bakugou, I said it’s nothing.”
“Hell it isn’t nothing!”
“Bakugou, please just leave.”
“Todoroki, if you don’t open this damn door right now-”
Shouto rips the door open and glares at him, his puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks being shown in the process. Bakugou’s eyes widen in surprise.
“Happy?” Shouto bites.
“Todoroki…”
Shouto wants to punch something.
He just wanted love.
Shouto stares at the ground.
“Todoroki, look at me.” Bakugou says. “Hey, your dumbass eyes should be up here.”
Shouto’s eyes slowly travel up Bakugou’s body before it sets on his face.
Warmth floods his cheeks when he looks at Bakugou’s face. Blush appears on both of their faces. No words, and yet they’re both already flustered.
“Let’s get out of here.” Bakugou says, holding his hand out.
Shouto has never made a quicker decision in his life, grabbing Bakugou’s hand and grasping onto it tightly, as if it would leave if he let go.
Bakugou never left.