Chapter Text
“Oh, fuck me .” Ellie’s eyes are wide when she glances back at Dina, then back out the window, and then back to her girlfriend again. “Fucking fuck .”
“This is bad,” Dina agrees.
“No shit, it’s fucking bad!” Ellie pulls herself up over the bus seat, looking around. Dina keeps watching out the window in vague horror as Tommy, arms flailing wildly, slowly becomes a dark dot on the horizon.
“Oh my god, what are we gonna do, what are we gonna do,” Ellie mumbles, sliding back down into her seat. Her hands fly into her hair.
“Can’t we just ask the driver to turn around?” Dina asks. Tommy didn’t take anything with him, he’s got no money, no clothes and no I.D. in some tiny Idaho town. If Ellie thinks they’re fucked, then she’s seriously worried for his life.
“I don’t think she speaks much English.” Her words come out muffled from behind her hands. “Plus, she got so pissed off when that other guy said to stop the bus. I don’t think she’d do it even if we asked.”
Now it’s Dina’s turn to fall back into her seat, and she blows a strand of hair out of her mouth. “Fucking hell, Ellie.”
“I know .”
She turns to face her girlfriend, her scarred eyebrows furrowed, and does something she’s been wanting to do for a while. Dina turns Ellie’s head to face her, then presses a kiss to the middle of her brow. The perks of being in a new relationship, she supposes, is finally doing the things you’ve thought about for so long. It seems to help; Ellie’s brow unwrinkles a little and she breathes out, less shaky than before.
“Okay,” Dina says decisively. “We’re going to figure this out.”
“Okay.”
“And we’re going to have a good trip, however it goes down, and all of this is gonna be okay.”
“Okay, okay, it- it will.”
“First things first.” Dina cracks her knuckles. “Did Tommy take his phone with him?”
“No.”
“Fuck.” Dina decides not to bring up the money right now- the last thing she needs is to make this worse. “Alright, uh… so do we have a phone?”
“Um…” Ellie fumbles for Tommy’s bookbag, and Dina sees that her hands are still trembling a little. “No. Fuck. He was talking about leaving it at home, he ‘just doesn’t like them’.” She makes a dismissive gesture.
Dina grimaces, but forces on a neutral face. “Alright, so here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna ride the bus all the way there-”
“We can’t do that!-” Dina lifts a finger, and Ellie falls silent, looking no less worried.
“We are gonna ride this bus to Seattle, and then we are gonna follow the plan. We go to the same hotel, we find a way to contact Tommy and we do our best to have as good a time as we can without him.”
“Dina, we can’t,” Ellie says quietly. “What can we even do, we- we don’t even have an adult-”
“Ellie, you’re nineteen. We are both nineteen. We’re adults.”
Ellie throws her hands up, rolling her eyes. “Well, we need better adults! Tommy was supposed to-”
“Tommy,” Dina reminds her, “is also an adult.” She tucks the strand of hair back that always seems to fall over Ellie’s cheek, looking right into her eyes. “Everything’s gonna be okay. Okay?”
Ellie takes a deep breath. She still won’t relax fully, her body tense and a frown on her face, but she responds anyway with a small nod. “Okay.”
“Contacting him will be the easy part. Once we get to the hotel, which, may I remind you, we have reservations for, all we have to do is ask to use their phone and call Joel.”
“Wait, why Joel?” Ellie shakes her head. “He can’t even go pick Tommy up, he’s all fucked up right now.”
“True, but-” she punctuates her statement with a sharp hand motion- “he’ll be the first person Tommy will think to call. We’ll give Joel the number for the hotel and tell him what our plans are, both of which he’ll pass off to Tommy. That means we’ll have an established line of communication, and that means he can reach us while he’s catching up on the road.”
Ellie nods along, but her expression still hasn’t changed much. Dina cups her face again, and when she tilts her face up, she can practically see the worry running through her brain behind green eyes that won’t meet her own.
“Hey,” she says softly. “You know what?”
“Hm?”
“I bet we can have lots of fun without him. Maybe even more.” She smirks, giving her a wink to make her statement as clear as she can- Ellie has never been one for picking up on subtlety. Ellie’s face starts to warm under her palms, and even she can’t fully contain the smile that’s growing as she stubbornly avoids eye contact.
“We already have our own hotel room reserved,” Ellie mumbles, biting her cheek to hold back a smirk.
“We do,” Dina smiles back. She pulls back, patting her girlfriend’s cheek. “Now, let’s get a real plan. We need to know what to do by the time we’re there.”
Ellie struggles back through her own backpack for a minute, fishing out her battered Walkman and offering Dina an earbud. At Dina’s raised eyebrow, she shrugs. “Big plans need great soundtracks.”
“Oh, are you an arts major? I couldn’t tell.”
“Shut up.”
By the time the bus stops, they have things at least partially settled and Ellie seems to have calmed herself. They sit in relative silence, enjoying the music- or, at least, Ellie is enjoying it. She’s nodding her head to the beat as she shades in a drawing, gnawing on her lip. Dina’s never quite had the heart to tell her how much her favourite bands suck.
The scenery outside changes gradually, so when Ellie next looks out the window, she gapes quietly at the skyscrapers and apartments rushing past. It’s a far cry from Jackson and its small-town suburbs. Dina already feels a little thrill of excitement in her stomach, that distinct feeling of tilted newness she always associates with travel, and it looks like Ellie does too.
“So, is it what you were expecting?” she asks, subtly pulling her earbud out.
“I don’t really know what I was expecting.” Ellie leans back in her seat and blows at a strand of hair. “Looks nice, though.”
“As nice as Boston?” Dina teases.
Ellie scoffs, but she’s smiling through it. “Boston was… not better, but it was different.” She almost has an accent on that, Dina thinks, almost, but not quite. She doesn’t have much of one to begin with, but it’s there, and Dina’s always found it cute when it slips out.
“You should probably pack up,” Dina suggests, putting a hand on her arm. “Shouldn’t be long now.” Ellie nods in response and starts shoving things back into her backpack- her Walkman, water bottle, journal (which she’s been using to sketch a very flattering portrait of Dina, if she does say so herself) and various tickets and confirmation letters that will ensure that their plans stay on track as much as possible. The bus beeps as they stop. Ellie looks up and goes back to her packing, now a little more urgent.
“Tell me step one again,” she mutters, and when she looks up again, Dina can see that last flash of anxiety in her eyes.
“We go straight to the hotel and get our shit together.”
“Where?”
Dina rattles off the address. Ellie nods, almost grimly, picks up her bag and, after Dina lets her out, marches down the aisle, a woman on a mission. Dina reaches forward as she does and tangles their fingers together, shooting Ellie a smile when she turns, confused. Ellie smiles back at her, still a little shy, and her stomach still does flips when she does that. She knows it’s a little out of Ellie’s comfort zone, this sort of public display, however subtle, and it means even more to her that she’s trying.
It will be a good week. They’ll figure it out.
The first thing that Dina notices is the sky.
“It’s gonna rain,” she remarks.
Ellie scoffs. “It’s not gonna rain. There’s no way.”
“The sky is clouding over.” She points upwards for effect, where the city is in fact beginning to darken, just slightly. Ellie sighs, her shoulders dropping.
“Well, maybe it’ll just drizzle.”
“I hope so. Let’s see that map of yours.”
Ellie struggles with her bag again and produces their street map, running a finger along the road they’re on. “We’re not that far off now. It should only be about ten minutes.”
“So…” Dina bumps her shoulder against Ellie’s, and she looks up with a question in her eyes. “We could always take the scenic route.”
“I thought we were gonna head straight there?” Ellie snorts derisively.
“We still will.” Dina, still holding her free hand, gives her a reassuring squeeze. “We’ll just take twenty minutes instead of ten.” True, she wants to see the sights, but… she can tell Ellie is still far too wound up for her own good. Her grip on Dina’s hand is a little tighter than normal, her shoulders set too stiffly. She’s hoping a walk might clear her mind a little, the way it does back at home in Jackson.
Ellie looks like she wants to protest, but then, closing her mouth, nods with a small smile. “Wouldn’t hurt. We know where to go.” With a smile to match, Dina tugs her along down the street.
Apart from the encroaching rain, it’s a lovely day to be out. The flowers and shrubs are blooming in the May weather, comfortably warm but not hot enough to worry about Ellie, whose pale skin inevitably burns every summer before she gains her freckles. The storefronts are bright, and even the weak rays of sun glint off buildings and skyscrapers in a way that’s cool and appealing. Dina takes a quick glance towards Ellie, and she seems okay enough too, watching the few birds fly past and peeking around to read shop signs.
Ellie doesn’t need checking up on, she reminds herself, but she still can’t fully shake the urge. It’s been nearly a month and she’s been trying to get help. She’s sleeping again, she’s been doing so well already. She will be fine .
“Hey,” she starts. “What are you most excited for, you think?”
Ellie hums quietly, considering. “Probably… I really wanna see that museum we were talking about.”
A quiet laugh bubbles out of Dina as she knocks their shoulders together again. “Nerd.”
“Obviously,” she grins.
There’s another minute or five of quiet comfort between them as they walk before Dina broaches the silence again. “This…” She holds their entwined hands up and dips her chin slightly to make her point. “This is fine, right?”
Ellie takes a moment too long to respond, and she rushes back in to explain herself. “I just mean- I don’t want to do anything you’re uncomfortable with,” she stumbles through her sentence in a manner very uncommon for her. “I know we’re… in public and all, so I understand if it’s not.”
“Do you… is it okay with you? ” Ellie raises her eyebrows, and she looks just as unsure as Dina herself is.
“Yeah. Yeah, of course.”
She blows out a sigh, turning away as she smiles. “Then it’s fine.” Dina bites her lip and nods. God, everything is still so new. She still can’t quite believe it, but she’s thrilled at every new moment they have, even the ones like this, fumbling and hesitant, because… well, she got it, after all those years. They’re actually dating. Everything they overcame for this is already pretty amazing.
Ellie points to a sign up ahead. “You wanna grab a coffee?” She’s smiling, genuinely, and it definitely puts Dina at ease.
“Are you asking me out?” she teases back.
“Maybe I am. Isn’t that what you want?” Oh, she loves when Ellie does that. Years of waiting for her with no response, and now she is here as her girlfriend’s voice lowers and she gets that same competitive glint in her eye as when someone challenges her, because she knows now that that’s exactly what Dina’s doing.
“Let’s go.”
Once they’ve both ordered and found a table- the only one left, right on the street corner outside- Ellie slumps into the chair and takes the first sip of her tea. Immediately, she makes a face.
“What’s wrong?”
“Kinda… tastes weird.” Dina shrugs and takes a sip of her own drink.
“Mine’s fine. Are you gonna be okay to finish it?”
She shrugs now, not quite meeting her eyes, and takes another tentative sip. From the moment they’ve walked in- hell, from the moment they walked off the bus- she’s been tense, ready to spring like a trigger, like she's expecting disaster around every corner. She’s barely even smiled. The last thing Dina wants to do is bother her, but…
“Ellie?” She looks up from her drink. “Are you really okay?”
“Yes.” It’s automatic, and it even sounds rehearsed.
“Are you sure? Because if you’re really not, we can go-”
Ellie cuts her off. “D, I said I’m fine.” She’s clearly hit a nerve, and the guilt of that stops her from poking any further, even though she wants to.
Instead, she pulls her bag into her lap and grabs something from inside, keeping eye contact with Ellie without pulling her first surprise out yet. She raises her eyebrows in question, grinning.
“What?” Ellie asks.
Dina holds a small bag of cookies aloft triumphantly. “You want some? I thought we’d save them for when we got to the hotel, but we deserve a treat after the day we’ve been having.”
“Ugh, tell me about it,” Ellie laughs, making a grab for the bag. Dina pulls them back just in time.
“Ah! What do you want, Ellie?” She shakes the bag, holding back a laugh.
“Are you kidding me.”
“Say please.” She leans in, half-hoping that Ellie will kiss her in place of a response, and her eyes clearly do flick down to her lips and back up again. Instead, however, she rolls her eyes and holds out a hand.
“May I please have one.”
“Sure, why not.” Dina tosses the bag, and laughs at Ellie’s yelp as she stretches out of her seat to catch it.
“Holy shit, this place is nice.” Ellie steps away to look around the hotel at the fancy décor and plants lining the walkway to the reception desk. Dina whistles quietly and gives her an approving look.
“You think our room will be this fancy?” she jokes.
“I’d certainly hope not.”
“Ellie, what the hell is that accent-”
“It shall have to be much more elegant!” She flicks her hand out a little too energetically, flicking a passerby on the upper shoulder. She jumps and her eyebrows shoot up as the man gives her a dirty look, turning bright red and looking back down to her feet. Dina tries for a moment to stifle her laughter before giving up and giggling openly as her girlfriend groans, her face the exact colour of the tomatoes in Dina’s garden back at home.
“Let’s just go,” Ellie mumbles, and takes off towards the front desk.
Dina takes it in slower, watching every detail. There are stone statues and a red rug on the floor, formality clashing with the sight of Ellie’s best-loved pair of sneakers as she strides on ahead. She looks up, and there’s even a fucking chandelier . Tommy really picked well for them, she thinks. They’ll be living comfortably for the week, that’s for certain.
The two women at the front desk, however, are not looking as happy as she is to be there. One of them is speaking into the phone, pausing for long periods and twisting the cord between her fingers while Dina can clearly hear the irate voice on the other end. Ellie walks up to them first and, to her credit, starts the conversation herself.
While she’s getting things settled, Dina figures a bit of exploration would be helpful for the future. She taps Ellie’s shoulder, motions behind her and sets off down the hall once she gets a nod in response.
She doesn’t think she’s ever been in a place this nice before, actually. She’s excited about it, though. As she takes in the sights and gets her lay of the land, she imagines the week stretching out in front of them- all this free time to themselves, with new things to explore and try, all in the comfort of their solitude together. She’s been alone with Ellie before, of course, but never for something as big as this, and never while they were together. It feels like their own private adventure, almost, and maybe she shouldn’t think that with everything that’s gone wrong for Ellie so far, but… it’s comforting to her nonetheless. A little journey just for them.
Dina’s getting a good idea of where the basic amenities are- public bathrooms, breakfast area and a pretty swanky common area- when she tosses back the last dregs of her coffee. Maybe Ellie was onto something about the drinks; she’s not feeling great all of a sudden. The milk could’ve gone bad. The last thing they need to top off the day is food poisoning.
A group of women walk past, chatting loudly amongst themselves, and all it takes is her catching a whiff of their perfume- instantly, her slight stomach ache flips into dizzying nausea, and she turns on her heel to find that bathroom she passed earlier.
She spends those next few minutes hunched over the bowl thinking about the same three things in a clockwork, cycling order.
She broke up with Jesse two weeks ago. Her period is almost a week late now.
She absolutely cannot worry Ellie about something this ridiculous.
It’s nothing. It has to be nothing. Bad milk and a long bus ride, that’s all. Six days is nothing to panic over, and she’s not stupid- they had used a condom every single time.
Dina’s just fine. They’re having a nice vacation together this week if it fucking kills her.
She cleans herself up, pops a piece of gum and heads back out into the lobby as confidently as she can muster. Shoulders back, head held high and with her hands in the pocket of her new hoodie, courtesy of her girlfriend’s suitcase.
The first thing that’s apparent to her is Ellie’s demeanour, leaning back against the wall near the front desk. Her foot is tapping rapidly, which could be normal, but she’s also scanning the area as if she’s expecting some kind of monster to lurch out at her from the crowd. The second she spots Dina she stands up straight and walks over to meet her in the middle, shoulders tight under the weight of her bag.
“Uh, we can’t stay here,” she mumbles, half sounding like a question.
“What?”
“We don’t- something happened with the reservations, I don’t-” She looks agitated, sneaking glances back at the front desk as the receptionist on the phone sinks into a chair in a distinctly defeated manner.
Dina puts her hands on her shoulders, turning Ellie to face her directly. “Hey. We’re okay. Do you understand why, did they- did they explain it to you?”
“No, not really.”
"Can we call Joel, at least?"
"That's the only phone they have-" her voice is rising in panic- "and they said I can't use it."
“Okay." Dina rubs a hand on her shoulder briefly in the best comfort she can manage for the moment. "I’m going to go up and talk to them, see what’s going on. Are you okay to wait here?” Ellie nods shortly and beelines back to her spot against the wall, fiddling with a stray hair tie on her wrist.
Something in Dina’s stomach is twisting- something that isn’t cramps. This feels like yet another bad omen.
It’s only the first day. There’s only so many things that can go wrong, really. It’s going to be fine.
At some point, she stopped telling Ellie that and started using it as her own internal monologue. She started needing that reassurance too.
Everything is going to be okay, because it has to be. It has to be for Ellie’s sake.
She needs this.