Archive of Our Own

“You have two hours. Come quietly, come alone, and we let him go. Do otherwise, and we put a bullet through his head. It’s your choice.”

Steve replayed the message again. He had been replaying it for ten minutes, not believing what he was hearing and not willing to acknowledge it. It was a late winter night, and the wind was howling outside, bringing with it the promise of a storm. But inside, it was dead quiet. Because Tony wasn’t there, he thought. His laugh wasn’t there to warm up the place, his sarcastic eye rolls weren’t there to make Steve smile. No, instead, Tony was probably tied up somewhere, in a dingy warehouse perhaps, with no food and water, and tear stains down his cheeks. Steve flinched at the image his mind conjured up, and quickly dismissed it. He couldn’t afford to think like that. He had to keep his head straight.

Steve sat on the side of the bed in the dark, his phone in one hand, his head in the other, and a distraught expression on his face. His mind was racing, coming up with different possibilities. Could he go to the cops? Could he risk Tony getting hurt because of it? Could he risk Tony’s life? He flipped through every option he had, but all of them landed on one outcome - Tony possibly being injured, or worse, dead. The person on the phone had seemed pretty firm about that. He took a deep breath, and then allowed the one thought which he had kept at bay into his head. He had to give himself up. He had to. There was no other choice.

He got up and started pacing through the bedroom, trying to persuade himself to do it. Could he do it? Tony had done nothing wrong. Tony was in this situation because of him, he thought. The kidnappers wanted Steve, not Tony. Was he really going to be that selfish? He abruptly stopped pacing as his gaze fell on the photo frame on the mantel top. His parents smiled back at him, all bright white teeth and perfectly put together outfits that alone exuded wealth and opulence. He had framed this photo after they had died, the day after he had buried them in the cemetery. It had been his mother’s wish to be buried there. That was also the place where you met Tony a year later, his mind helpfully brought up. Steve smiled at the memory. Yes, it was where Tony had stormed into his life like a hurricane, and he didn’t regret it one bit. Tony had been the one who had made him want to enjoy life again, after he had become so jaded with everything. Steve sat down on the bed again, feeling weary all of a sudden, still trying to decide what to do, but he couldn’t get the memory of Tony in the cemetery out of his head.

Steve stared at the flowers near the grave intently. They were wilted, past their prime, their vibrant colors turned into pale echoes of the past. Steve could quite relate to them, he thought suddenly with a sardonic smile. He had been feeling like a pale echo of the past himself. How funny. Shaking out of his reverie, he turned to look at the flowers in his hand. They were brand new, still in their prime. Bunched in his hand, they were proudly showing off their own rainbow-like petals, oblivious that they awaited the same fate as their dead counterparts near the grave. ‘In Loving Memory of Joseph Rogers’, the headstone proclaimed. Right next to it, another headstone, that of Sarah Rogers. ‘Missed by all’ it said. That was quite right, Steve thought. His mother had been a lively person, making friends with almost anybody who happened to chat with her. Steve suspected that more people had come to bid farewell to his mother at the funeral rather than his dad, who was a successful entrepreneur and head of Rogers International, a thriving global corporation. Well, former head now, Steve supposed, as his shoulders suddenly felt heavy. He had been coming to the cemetery regularly for the past 12 months, but today – today was different. He felt different. It was the one-year anniversary of the day when he was traumatized forever, when his world changed, when responsibility came crashing down on his head, when he suddenly became one of the most important people in the world, when, when, when. There were a lot of ‘when’s that happened that day. But the worst one, he surmised, was when he lost his parents forever. It was when he became an orphan. It still hurt, he realized with a jolt. It still hurt in his heart, physically. There was a painful ache that would never go away. More ache for his mother rather than his father, but an ache nonetheless.

“So… you gonna wait there until both the bouquets are wilted, or what?” somebody said from behind him.

He turned around slowly, still coming out of his daze, to see a guy of average stature, with dark brown hair that was almost black. He wore dark shaded sunglasses and had his hands in his pockets. The guy shrugged and continued, “I mean, I wouldn’t know but I think dead people like their flowers alive rather than… you know, dead. But hey, I might be wrong.” He held his hands up in a placating gesture.

Steve allowed a small smile. “Yes, well, sorry about that. I just got lost in my thoughts. I do that sometimes.” He sighed, turned around, and replaced the flowers with the new ones from his hand. “Oh, and um, I’m sorry, by the way.”

“For what?” The guy scoffed. “Jeez, I know you’ve been standing here for about two hours now, but you don’t need to apologize to me. That’s ridiculous,” he added quietly. “Everyone grieves differently.”

Steve shook his head and let out a short laugh. “No, not about that, about-” Steve waved his hands and looked around, “Here. This place. You’re here. So, I’m sorry. For whoever you lost.”

“Ah.” The guy looked around along with Steve. It was overcast and a little windy. The cemetery was quieter than usual and Steve realized why. It was a weekday. He usually came on a weekend, when he was free, as did most people. But today was a special day. People missed their loved ones to come visit, but not that much to change their schedules, Steve thought sardonically.

“Well, I’m sorry for your loss as well,” the guy said while looking behind Steve at the headstones. “For your… parents?” the guy attempted, suddenly viewing Steve in a different light.

Steve gave a brief nod, while looking back sadly. “One year today.”

“Oh.” An awkward silence fell on them, until the guy coughed and introduced himself. “I’m Tony, by the way.” He gave a little wave.

“I’m Steve. Steve Rogers.” He held out a hand.

“Oh, I know who you are now.” Tony pointed at the inscriptions on the headstones. “The Rogers family right? Super wealthy, mega successful business tycoon, who died in an accident last year? You must be his son… ” Tony eyed Steve top to bottom. “I heard your father was the first billionaire ever to increase the minimum wage for his company by a massive half dollar!” Tony gasped in mock shock.

Steve grimaced a little. “Yeah, that’s him,” he muttered. “Well, I’ve taken over the business now. It’s been interesting. I’m trying to bring some positive changes.”

“Yeah, that’s great. Good luck with that,” Tony said, in a tone which suggested he did not believe Steve at all.

“Hold on, how do you know I’ve been standing here for two hours? Have you been watching me this whole time?” Steve asked wide-eyed. He began walking down towards the entrance of the cemetery, leaving Tony with no other option than to follow along.

“Don’t flatter yourself.” Tony rolled his eyes. “I come here often. It’s peaceful here. But I saw you for the first time today. You were literally just standing there, staring off into space. I had no choice but to take up a bet with myself on how long you would look like you were frozen.” Tony shook his head defeatedly, as if he really had no choice but to do just that. “And I’m sad to say I lost on all fronts, you stayed way longer than I expected. And what are you even doing here, in this common cemetery for the common people. I thought rich people had their own crematoriums and mausoleums.” Tony exaggerated the words with distaste on his face, though his eyes danced with mirth.

Steve laughed at his words. “We don’t have a mausoleum, I’m afraid. My mother’s wish was to be buried here. So we are stuck with you common folk.” He grinned at Tony.

“I see.” Tony grinned right back.

Steve reached the entrance and hesitated a little, before turning to look at Tony. “Well, my car is waiting. So… I’ll see you around?” It came out as more of a question.

“Yeah, see you around, Steve.” Tony smiled a little before turning around and joining the footpath.

Steve got up from his bed for the hundredth time. He knew he had to do something, and do it fast. He looked at the clock. Thirty minutes had already passed, and he was still close to doing nothing. Ninety minutes left. Get it together Steve!, he chided himself. He ran his hands across his face in hopes of refreshing himself, but they came off wet. He looked at them in shock. He had started crying without realizing, and he never cried. Why Tony, he thought to himself. Tony didn’t deserve this. He had been through enough. He had overcome stuff that would cripple others, and he had done it without getting anyone’s help, though Steve disapproved of that. Tony only deserved happiness in his life. Then why was life so cruel to him? Because of you, a voice said from the back of Steve’s mind. Steve realized it was true. If Tony had never entered his life, he would have been fine, even happy. Instead, Tony was stuck in a terrible situation because of him. And he was going to do everything in his power to get Tony back. Even so, he was scared of what that might mean. He would probably die, he knew that. Whoever the kidnappers were, they were unlikely to free Steve after getting what they wanted. He would never see his friends again. He would never see Tony again. He would never hold him in his arms again. He would never again chuckle at Tony’s poor attempts at sarcasm, which Steve knew were a defense mechanism. He would never see Tony rolling his eyes again. Could he live with that? A pit had formed in his stomach that was growing by the second.

But Tony would be free. Tony would go on living his life, happily. He would find someone else, someone more worthy. Someone who wouldn’t put his life in danger. He would make jokes again. He would roll his eyes again. Isn’t that what Steve wanted? Would he risk Tony’s happiness just because he was selfish? Would he be able to live with the guilt of something happening to Tony if he didn’t do as the kidnappers want? Even before he finished the thought, Steve knew the answer to that question. He breathed in and finally made up his mind. He was going to do it. He was going to save Tony.

Steve started making a mental checklist of things he had to do. He had to leave instructions for the board of directors at his company. They would have to choose a new president. He had to inform his vice-president about the status of the top-level projects his company was handling. He had to give explicit directions on how he wanted the funds allocated to those projects. There was no time to be scared now. He wiped his face, shuddered a little, took a deep breath and sat down at the table. But first things first, he needed to update his will. A fortune as big as his, it was of utmost importance. He opened the locked drawer where he kept important documents and took out a file. As he was about to close it, his eyes fell on a bunch of receipts, and a smile automatically graced his face. Tens of receipts were bunched together, from a coffee shop, from the time spent with Tony. Alongside them, an old, worn-out coffee stirrer with a note attached - ‘Please accept this token of my gratitude, Your Highness. It is my most prized possession.’ Steve chuckled lightly before remembering himself. He closed the drawer with a sigh, got out a pen and got down to business.

Steve peered at the menu displayed above the barista’s head, wondering what to pick. Why did they have to make the letters so small, he thought with an annoyed expression on his face, as he tried to make out the names of the available beverages. He was bad at deciding this kind of stuff, and that coupled with his intense ‘fear of missing out’ on an amazing food dish that he’ll never get to try, meant that you had someone who took an inordinate amount of time picking something. He was starting to get nasty glares from people around him, which just made him more flustered.

“Um, I’ll have the..” Steve started, trying to land on a decision.

“Oh my god, just pick one!” A familiar voice said from beside him. He whirled around to find Tony staring at him from a seat at the counter. He had the same exasperated look on his face as everybody else.

“This is the second time I’ve seen you where you’ve lost all your motor functions. Are you always like this?” Tony asked him. “He’ll have the double cappuccino,” he told the barista, ignoring Steve’s protests. “Sugar?” Tony turned towards Steve.

“I- yes,” Steve said, shocked. Then, quite belatedly, he turned towards the barista to tell him the same thing. After paying, he made his way over to Tony as he waited for his order.

Tony looked at him strangely. “If I didn’t know you any better, I’d think you were interacting with the world for the first time.”

“Well, you don’t know me any better,” Steve pointed out to him. “So.”

“Hah, well, that’s true.” Tony laughed.

“By the way, I’ve already had the double cappuccino from this place many times,” Steve said, his tone suddenly becoming somber.

“Okay…?” Tony looked at Steve with an amused expression on his face.

“I want to try all the items from the menu at least once. It’s a thing I do with all my favorite joints. One of my many adorable quirks,” Steve explained, managing to keep a straight face.

“Yes, I’m beginning to see that. Though ‘adorable’ isn’t quite the word I would use, but alright.” Tony smiled mischievously. “This is your favorite joint, you say? I didn’t know multimillionaires frequented the local coffee shop for the common nine-to-five. How very plebeian of you. You know these coffees can have anything in them right?” Tony said, suddenly putting on a serious expression. “I mean, it’s all very shady back there in the kitchen. I’ve tried to check. Who even knows how old this milk is? Or what kind of milk it is…” Tony gave a small shudder. “Or even worse…” He dropped his voice to a whisper and leaned it conspiratorially. “What about those coffee beans…” he said, appalled.

The barista coughed and glared at Tony, which finally made him stop. He had the decency to look abashed and avert his eyes.

Steve stared at Tony for a moment and then burst out laughing. “Well, I think I’ll take my chances. And yes, this is one of my favorite coffee shops. The office building isn’t far from here, and I used to come here often to escape my father, when he would…” Steve trailed off. A pained expression showed on his face before he coughed and hid it. “Anyway, old habits die hard. So, here I am.” Steve tried to put on a smile. He turned around and took his coffee from the barista.

“Interesting…” Tony said, eyeing Steve. “So, would you like to go and sit at a table, or…” He stopped, suddenly spotting the cup holder in Steve’s hand. “Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize it was to-go. Anyway.” Tony tried to keep the disappointment out of his voice.

“No! I mean, no, it’s fine, we can go and sit down,” Steve said, hopeful. “I mean, if that’s what you want,” he added quickly.

“Sure.” Tony smiled. They left the counter and made their way over to a table. Several people turned to look at Steve, but no one was brave enough to come near, thanks to his bodyguard who had a mean glare plastered on his face.

Tony noticed and faked a gasp. “Oh, I’m sorry, where are my manners! We have a VIP among us. Would you like me to pull the chair back for you, Your Highness?”

“What? No, it’s fine.” Steve chuckled and sat down.

Tony had a glint in his eye. “Are you sure? I mean, it’s perfectly fine if you expect it.” Tony smirked and sat down on the opposite side. “How have I never seen you here before though? If you come here often? I’m here literally all the time.”

“Well, I mostly just pick up my order and leave. A lot of work to do, you know,” Steve explained but then hastily added, “But it’s not like I don’t sit here as well. I do that once in a while too, just like now.” He glanced at Tony before quickly looking down.

“Uh huh,” Tony said, in a tone which implied he didn’t believe Steve at all.

Suddenly, a loud noise went off outside and Steve jolted in his seat. He looked around wide-eyed before covering his ears as tightly as possible. No, no, not right now, he thought, as he started hyperventilating. He tried to force himself to calm down, but it didn’t work. What was it that his therapist had told him to do? What was it?! He couldn’t recall no matter how hard he tried, which made him panic even more and he started rocking himself in his seat. And just like that, he was right there at that exact moment - when it happened. He could hear his mother’s screams as she was thrown from the car. He could hear the sound of glass breaking. The lights on the road overwhelmed him - it was too bright. He could hear the distant sirens of the ambulance. Someone nearby was wailing. Steve wished they would shut up already. Couldn’t they see he was trying to sleep? Someone grabbed him by the shoulders. “It’ll be alright” they said. Will it really? Steve hoped so. The last thing he remembered was thinking how he wished he could talk to his mother. And then he blacked out.

“Steve! Hey! Are you alright?” Tony asked, alarmed. “Hey, look at me!” He grabbed Steve’s arm and forced him to look up. “Look at me. It’s fine, it was probably just a car backfiring. There’s no danger. Deep breaths. Follow along with me.” Tony kept eye contact with Steve as he helped Steve to breath. “In and out. It’s fine.” Steve didn’t let go of Tony’s arm as he followed Tony’s instructions.

After Steve had calmed down considerably, he wiped his brow and sat up straight. “I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to ruin the mood. It’s just… loud noises scare me, ever since last year, after the car crash…” Steve trailed off. He realized he was still holding onto Tony’s hand and let go quickly.

“It’s alright, no need to apologize,” Tony said quietly. “I didn’t know you were in the car with your parents as well.”

“Yeah, I was in the backseat. I had some injuries, but my parents in the front… and the airbags didn’t go off, so…” Steve muttered, then shook himself off before smiling. “Anyway, it’s getting better now. Let’s drink before the coffee gets cold alright?” he said, looking around for a spoon.

“Sure,” Tony said, taking the hint that Steve wanted to change the subject. “Would you like a stirrer, Your Highness?” Tony asked, holding one in his hand.

“Yes, thank you.” Steve chuckled, before adding, “What’s with all this ‘Your Highness’ business?”

“Well, I think you’re as close to royalty as it gets on this side of the pond. So it seemed only appropriate,” Tony teased.

“Well I’m honored, and also a little offended, I think.” Steve looked at Tony with a smile. They both grinned at each other before taking a sip of their drinks.

Steve stared at the paper in front of him. He had stopped writing, because he couldn’t get his thoughts in order. They were in disarray, and his hands had started shaking as the reality of it set in. You are going to die, he thought to himself. Today will be your last day. You are going to die. He willed himself to calm down as his mind brought up one horrible scenario after the other. He was staring at his will for the last couple of minutes. His name, printed in big bold letters, stared right back. There was a certain morbid irony to it all, he thought to himself - looking at the piece of paper that would be used after his death, while he was literally preparing for his death. If it was any other time, he would have found it funny. He would have told it to Tony, and Tony would have made up some sort of joke about it. Both of them would have laughed. Instead, he was all alone, trying to hold back tears. He glanced at the clock once again. Seventy-five minutes left. He needed to hurry.

He forced his hands to stop shaking, and forced his mind to focus. Finishing up the last bit of his will, he signed it, put down the pen, and turned to review it. He had decided to leave some of his property to his team at the company. Some of it had been assigned to his friends. A quarter of his fortune was supposed to be donated. He had also been insistent on where it was to be donated. But most of his stuff - his house, the family heirlooms, and his stakes at the company - all were to be given to Tony. He had decided on that a while ago and had not asked Tony about it. He didn’t think there would be a need to use his will so soon, but the time had come. And he wanted Tony to have it. He knew Tony would make good use of it, and flourish because of it. He had a fond smile on his face at the thought of it.

His father would probably disagree, he thought ruefully. Oh, his father would definitely be rolling around in his grave. One look at what Steve had done with his will and who he had left it all to, and his father would have given him an earful. ‘Think about your company, think about your legacy!’ he would have said. It was his father who had dragged him along to prepare his will the minute he had agreed to take over the company. ‘We need to take all precautions,’ he had said. Steve had an idea of the kind of fit his father would throw if he saw what he had written down in front of him. But, his father wasn’t around anymore. And he had more pressing matters to attend to. Steve stored his will back in the drawer and got up with a sigh. Fetching his laptop, he started writing an email to his board.

“I said I don’t want to do it! Leave me alone!” Steve cried out, before storming out of the room.

He was in his father’s office - no, in his ‘family’s’ office, as his father would put it - Steve thought with distaste. But he wasn’t going to stay there a second longer. He was furious at his father for not letting go of the subject, furious at his mother for enabling him, and furious at himself because even through all of his anger, he still wanted to please his father. He still felt like he had something to prove, like he had to make the ‘wise choice’, no matter what his heart dictated.

“Steve! Get back here!” Joseph Rogers shouted out, his expression livid. He came out of his office to see that the whole floor was staring at them and promptly lowered his voice and rearranged his face. If he hadn’t been seeing red through his eyes, Steve would have probably found it funny. He looked around. Employees were looking at the commotion in shock, and would soon get a new juicy tidbit to gossip about. ‘The boss and his son, squabbling in broad daylight! How scandalous!’ Steve supposed the rumor mill would find more interesting amendments to add to this particular hackneyed gossip piece, because it was hackneyed. This wasn’t the first time Steve was having this argument with his father, and it wasn’t the first time the employees had heard it either. It was the first time it had spilled out of his father’s office onto the actual company floor though. That was bound to have some consequences, he thought. He turned back to look at his father. He looked furious but weary, as if he had no more fight left in him for this topic, and Steve felt guilt course through him. How long had they fought for, how hard? And all for what? Because his father wanted him to take over his cursed, exploitative business? Why couldn’t he just hire someone else? Someone who could do this job better? Someone who actually wanted this job? Why him? Steve was tired of fighting with his father over this. It had strained their relationship to the point where he wasn’t sure if they could ever get back to the way they were before. They were happy, before, in a way. Oblivious, but happy. Now there was this wall between them. Steve didn’t know if he even wanted to climb the wall to mend things. Maybe that wall always existed, it just wasn’t visible until now. Over and over, they went - with the same tired arguments rehashed, with the same insults thrown, with his mother always there, acting like a mediary. He could foresee it happening now as well.

Joseph stalked over to him, his posture stiff. “Come back inside. And don’t make a scene.” He gritted out, his voice barely a whisper.

“Why, Dad? Will it ruin your precious reputation?” Steve breathed out, allowing just a touch of venom into his voice.

“Steve! Don’t make me repeat it again,” Joseph said, his voice shaking with anger.

Steve acquiesced in his father’s order. “Fine!” He turned swiftly and went back into the room he came from. His mother was inside, with a concerned look on her face, like she always had whenever they were fighting. The company board was there as well. Five very well-dressed, middle-aged people sat along the conference table, with bored looks on their faces - as if this was an everyday occurrence. And it might as well be, Steve thought.

As soon as the door was closed, Steve started talking. “I don’t want to be in your position, Dad! Why won’t you understand that? All my life you’ve dictated what I should do. All my life, you planned everything for me, and I agreed to it, didn’t I? I agreed to all of it! Then why can’t you, just this once, just this one time, agree to what I have to say?” Steve’s voice broke, his blue eyes scrunched up with tears. “I don’t wanna be the next billionaire. I don’t want your title. I don’t want your connections. I don’t want your money that you’ve leeched off of people by exploiting them-” Steve slammed his mouth shut and let out a long breath. He closed his eyes to calm himself. Here we go again, he thought. Just like clockwork.

“Is that what you still think of me? Steve, this is called business. I’m not leeching off of anyone. This job is ruthless. You do what you have to do to get to the top. That’s your goal. And I took all the shit I went through and turned it into something worthwhile, just for you! Just so you can have a better life. A better job. Just so you can go to the best business school in the country. Just so you’ll be prepared thoroughly for this job. So that you don’t have to go through what I went through.” Joseph’s voice was hoarse. He had tears running down his face.

Steve’s mother let out a silent sob. She stared at him, imploring him to consider. ‘Easy for you to say’ he thought bitterly. But maybe he didn’t want to be someone who became oblivious to the world - to the real world, not this… fantasy that his father had tried to create for him. Maybe he didn’t want to be someone who capitalized off of people’s problems. Maybe he wanted to help people solve those problems - actually help them, not just make empty, vapid promises his father liked to make. Had she considered that?

“Steve.” He looked at the person who had spoken. Gerard Shaw, one of his father’s most trusted advisors and a board member. “You’ve been preparing for this your whole life. We’ve all interviewed you. You are well equipped for this job. This is what you were meant to do. Don’t just throw it away.”

Steve looked back at his father and was startled to see his expression. At that moment, Steve realized his father was worried. He was worried for Steve’s future, because he only saw one path. He had only ever known one path. He didn’t know you could live a happy life without trying to be as rich as possible. He didn’t know you didn’t have to selfishly focus on yourself to be successful - that it can also be derived from focusing on others. And he realized that if he didn’t accept the offer, it would eat away at his father until there was nothing left. He would never be the same again. And it would be Steve’s fault. He would be the reason why they would never speak again. Steve wasn’t going to let that happen. He saw only one way to make things right again.

“Okay.” Steve breathed out, his body shuddering. “I accept.”

Steve paced around the room, trying to think of anything left that he needed to attend to. He could not come up with anything. He had written his will, written emails to the people in his company which they would receive two hours later, when… whatever was going to happen had happened, and he had written letters to his friends. It was done. There was just one thing left to do.

Taking a deep breath, he opened his phone. He called up Tony’s number and held the phone to his ear, his hand shaking slightly. He knew Tony was not going to answer. His phone was probably at his apartment - where Tony wasn’t. Because Tony was kidnapped. Because of Steve. But he wanted to leave a message. He knew he had to do something. He would forever regret it if he didn’t. He also wanted to hear Tony’s voice one last time, even if it was a voicemail. Tony’s recorded voice came through and Steve’s knees nearly gave in. ‘Hey, this is Tony! Leave a message and blah blah blah. You know the drill.’ Steve let out a short laugh in between his tears. He had been barely keeping it together all this time, but on hearing Tony’s voice, he couldn’t contain it anymore. The dam broke. He let out huge sobs and when he heard the beep, he quickly tried to regain composure. He had stuff to say to Tony. He couldn’t do it if he was crying.

“Hey, it’s me. You’ll probably get this after… everything. I just wanted to say… I’m so proud of you Tony.” Steve’s voice had turned hoarse and he could barely manage speaking. “I’m so proud of everything you’ve achieved. You’ve done so much, even when you got a shitty deal in life. But look at you now! Two patents and three releases under your belt, and many more to come. I’m so constantly amazed by you, Tony. Your passion for what you love, your ambition for what you want, and your perseverance to achieve it, I’ve learned so much from you. And that is also the reason why I fell for you. Remember that first time when you told me the ideas that you had? You left me awestruck, and I’ve never been the same since. You know, I never told you this, but life had become boring for me. I was going through the motions, not really interested in anything. But then somehow I… found you. And you made me want to live again, Tony. You made me realize the beauty in small things, the value of a laugh, just… how to be. That was all you, Tony, and don’t you dare forget it. And to think, it all started because we met each other at a cemetery!” He tried to manage a laugh, but it came out like a cough in between his tears. “How morbid! You know, we should really change the whole setting and the vibe and everything when telling people how we met. Let’s come up with a cooler story.” He smiled a little, before realizing and his smile dropped. “I mean... you could come up with a cooler story.” He let out a sigh before changing the subject. He didn’t want to talk about that. “Keep working hard, okay? Fuel your passion. Never lose that. Do it for me, okay? Remember all the talks we had about all the stuff you wanted to build? Do it all. I want you to do it all. And just… be happy. Find someone who cares for you. Don’t wallow over me.” Steve rested his head back on the wall, no energy left in him. But he had one more thing to say. “And I can’t believe I’d never get to say this in person. But I love you, Tony. I love you so very dearly. I’ve loved you for a while now, but I wanted to wait until the perfect moment, and now it won’t ever come. Stupid me.” He smiled sadly, before whispering, “I love you so much. The time I spent with you was the best of my life, and I never once regretted it. And… I hope you didn’t as well. I’m so sorry I got you into this mess. It’s my fault, I know. But I’m going to fix it. I’m going to make everything better, Tony. And I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me. Please forgive me.” His voice was barely a whisper as he ended the call, and he let out loud cries as he slid to the floor.

He wanted to stay there forever. But after a few minutes he got up and washed his face. Sixty minutes left. It was time to go. He flicked off the light in his bedroom, closed it and walked out.

“And what will you have today, Your Highness?” Tony asked, his eyes twinkling. He was in the coffee shop with Steve again, except this time it was a planned meet and not a chance encounter. It had somewhat turned into a regular affair. Steve had started coming to the coffee shop at the same time every week, and through silent agreement, so had Tony. Steve realized that he had started looking forward to their little coffee meets every week, his mood becoming happier just at the thought. Every Wednesday, he would walk down from his office to the little shop without fail, a spring in his step as he did so. It calmed him down there, made him forget about everything else and just focus on the smell of coffee and the playful eyes of the man who had quickly become one of his favorite people in the world.

“Hmm, let’s see…” Steve said, scanning the menu above the barista. He had started ignoring Tony’s little nicknames for him and instead started smiling fondly with a shake of his head.

“You’ve got to make the decision faster now. Come on, there are only like 5 items left that you haven’t tried yet from your little list. How hard can it be? Don’t embarrass me in public, please,” Tony whined, his expression distraught.

“I would make the decision faster if you piped down,” Steve countered. “But I think that’s impossible, so…” Steve shook his head, as if it was the worst thing in the world.

“Sureee…” Tony laughed, then turned his attention towards the barista. “What’s the situation with the milk today? I hope you’ve brought in a fresh batch,” he said with a serious face. “Don’t want His Highness getting sick with week-old stale milk.”

The barista was now used to Tony’s remarks, and after giving a quick glare, decided to ignore him altogether.

After choosing what he wanted and paying for his drink, Steve stepped aside for Tony, who always had the same drink every time. Steve couldn’t believe how someone could settle on a choice so quickly, without even considering anything else.

“Because I’m not an indecisive prick like you,” Tony said after Steve voiced his thoughts. “I already know what I want…” Tony trailed off, frowning down at his wallet, before looking up at the barista. “Um, can you put it on the tab? I’ll pay you later,” Tony said with an uncomfortable tone, becoming painfully aware of Steve looking at him.

“Is there a problem?” Steve asked, frowning. He looked at the barista before glancing at Tony worriedly.

“It’s fine,” Tony muttered. “I have it under control.”

“I can pay for you if you want. Look, it's no big deal,” Steve said, already pulling out his platinum credit card. “Let me help you-”

“I said it’s fine!” Tony said angrily. He took in a deep breath and tried to calm down. “Let’s just take our drinks and go alright?” He breathed out. “I’ll pay you later,” he said with a final glance to the barista.

There was a palpable tension in the air as they made their way to a table and sat down. People were either ambling about, or sitting with laptops, engrossed in their work. It was mid-afternoon and sunny outside, though the atmosphere inside felt suddenly colder. Both of them were silent and avoided looking at each other as they sipped their coffee. Steve couldn’t bear the awkwardness any longer and tried to find something to talk about.

“So, what have you been up to?” Steve attempted, trying to smile.

“I, uh, I’ve been trying to build this geolocation sensor that’ll keep track of the places you’ve visited. Sort of like a travel diary? But automated. It’s a pet project of mine,” Tony said, still a little stiff. “But uh, it’s hard to find resources. Money is a little tight right now, and the job doesn’t pay much, so…” he muttered and left the words hanging.

“Oh, what?” Steve said, shocked. “Tell me more!”

“Okay, so what I’ve been thinking is, wouldn’t it be cool to have your travels documented automatically? By an intelligent sensor? Like all the places you’ve been to, what you did and stuff?” Tony said excitedly, relaxing now that he was treading familiar ground. This was his safe space. “And it wouldn’t be just for your travels, it could be for every place you go to! So, how it would work is…” Tony started explaining, his hands waving wildly with a passionate gleam in his eye.

Most of what Tony said went over Steve’s head, but he sat there, taking in everything Tony was saying, documenting his every facial expression. It was glorious to witness. After Tony was finished, he sat back with a satisfied smile, though Steve was still staring at him, dumbfounded.

“What?” Tony asked, suddenly blushing under Steve’s intense gaze. “Stop looking at me like that!”

“Wait, so you’re like smart smart, not just regular smart,” Steve said, his voice clearly betraying how impressed he was.

“I mean, I did get a scholarship to MIT,” Tony scoffed and rolled his eyes, though there was a pained expression on his face.

The scholarship had run out, and he had had to drop out of college, Steve knew that much. His heart suddenly ached for Tony. How he wished he could help him. Steve wanted nothing more in that moment than to provide Tony with the resources he needed, just so he could see that excited gleam in his eye again. But judging from Tony’s previous outburst, Steve had the feeling that Tony would just get angry again, though he didn’t know why. He was just trying to help Tony. What was so wrong with that? He sighed and looked down at his phone when it buzzed. Gerard again, he thought irritatedly. He wanted Steve’s sign off on the donation amount. But Steve wasn’t completely sure about it. The charitable action felt so… fake. Like a performance. Just like his father, Steve thought with a grimace.

“Something wrong?” Tony asked, noticing Steve’s frustrated expression.

Steve glanced up at Tony. “Oh it’s just this event…” He looked closely at Tony, trying to judge what his reaction might be. “Oh what the hell.” Steve gave up and decided to tell him. “Every year we have this… charity event thing. We select a couple of hospitals from around the country and donate boatloads of money to the children’s wing. A sign of our generosity.” Steve said the last word in a tone that made it clear it wasn’t his own. “My father had started the initiative, and had presided over the event every year. This is the first year I’m spearheading it, since his passing.”

“I see. How...nice of you,” Tony said, in a way that suggested he thought it was anything but nice.

“You don’t approve?” Steve asked him with a frown.

“No it’s just...that’s what you people do, right? You throw money at things to try to make yourself feel better,” Tony said bitterly.

“That’s not what...is that really why you think I’m doing this? To make myself feel better?” Steve asked incredulously.

“Don’t get me wrong, it might be a wonderful thing. But it feels like people who throw these events just want another reason to pat themselves on the back. To congratulate themselves. To gain good publicity and press. It’s not about helping someone else,” Tony pointed out. “It’s another way to increase your power. It’s a way for the elite to show off. The money donated is just a byproduct, not the primary reason you do it. And hey, I’m not discrediting that. You do what you have to do. Just don’t try to act like it’s something it’s not. Take it from me.” Tony stressed the last part, and Steve knew he was talking about the scholarship.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about Tony,” Steve muttered, suddenly feeling horrible. “There’s a reason we help these hospitals every year. There’s a reason I care about this so much.” Steve emphasized the ‘I’ and pointed at himself. “That’s not why I want to do this. I want to help them! I don’t care about the publicity. And so what if other people do? The morals involved might be different, but they are still helping at the end of the day, right? Someone’s still getting the money, right? What’s so wrong with that?” Steve countered.

“Sure.” Tony shrugged and didn’t say anything else. Both of them had lost their appetites for talking, so they finished their drinks in silence.

Afterwards Steve was walking back to his office, mulling over what Tony had said. He wasn’t doing this to make himself better, was he? That was not him, he refused to be that person. He refused to be his father, who, Steve felt, only did stuff like this for his own benefit. It was all performative. Shallow. Steve wasn’t that person. He was different. He just wanted to help. He did care. Right?

“Steve,” someone called him as he was making his way to the elevator. “You haven’t answered my texts. We need to fix the donation amount. We need to leak it to the press beforehand, so that they start covering the event right from now. And you also haven’t confirmed what photographers you want. And your statement too.”

Steve looked at Gerard wearily, with a sinking feeling in his stomach. Tony was right, wasn’t he?

“No.” Steve shook his head. “Cancel the event.”

Gerard was about to protest, but he pressed on. “I’ll find another way to donate. I will do it, but not like this.”

Steve drank cold water from the refrigerator, breathing out as his body shuddered. He felt like he was all cried out. There was nothing left to do. He glanced around his apartment once again, taking in everything. Looking at every nook and cranny, he committed everything to memory. The large To-Do whiteboard on the refrigerator that Tony had gotten for him, because he was, as Tony had put it, ‘an absent-minded numpty.’ The coffee table that his mother had gotten for him when he moved into the apartment. The stain on the wall from when he and Tony had spilt wine on it while dancing around the living room. They had desperately tried to scrub it clean, all the while laughing like lunatics. But they had failed miserably and instead decided to stick a houseplant in front of the wall to hide the stain. He took it all in. Once he was done, he readied himself, took his keys and locked his apartment. He went into the elevator and pressed the button to the parking lot.

It was only after he reached the basement that he remembered that the kidnappers didn’t want him to take his own car. They had given him strict instructions. He had to follow them carefully, else they would kill Tony. He sighed and looked around once again. There was no one around at this hour, and Steve was grateful for that. Nobody would notice his bloodshot eyes and his reddened nose. He glanced at a white Chevrolet and smiled softly. It had been a gift from his mother. She had given it to him on his birthday. She had been so excited while revealing the surprise. Steve always had been closer to his mother than his father. He knew that, even his father knew that. She had been on his side when no one else had been. He smiled at the car once again, before hurrying to the entrance of the building. Time was running out. He needed to call a cab.

Sarah Rogers sat on a couch in the living room, engrossed in reading a book. She had her feet tucked under her, with a cup of hot cocoa on the coffee table. Steve walked in with a frown on his face, stress lines visible on his face. He had been trying to keep it together, he really had. But he wanted to talk to somebody. He wanted somebody to tell him that he really had made the right decision in accepting his father’s offer. And who better to confide in, than his mother? Ever since he was little, his mother had always been his guiding force, his confidante, his happy place. He had a special relationship with his mother, one that felt purer, more sacred to Steve than the one with his father. He felt at times that maybe his father resented what he had with his mother. After all, it was his mother that he would turn to first whenever he had a problem. But his mother had flaws that infuriated him as well. More specifically, it was her willingness to turn a blind eye to his father’s flaws. The readiness with which she would agree to whatever he proposed irritated him. Why couldn’t she just tell his father off? But no, it was Steve that had to make the compromise every time. It was Steve that she expected it from. She probably didn’t even realize what she was doing, he thought. But regardless of his irritation towards her, he loved her dearly. Because she loved him dearly too, no matter how flawed that love might be.

Steve sat down on a nearby chair and tugged his sweater closer. It was winter, and though they had heating on, as well as a fire merrily crackling away in the fireplace, he always felt a little cold regardless. He didn’t like the cold, it made his mood turn sour. He turned to look at his mother. She was a short woman, her head reaching only his shoulders. She had a grace that couldn’t be imitated, and a face that was quietly beautiful - accentuated now in the glow of the fire. He coughed to get her attention, and she turned to look at him.

“Do you think I made the right decision, Mom?” Steve asked in a quiet voice. “About the company? Don’t you think someone else should take over instead? I mean, this feels a little like nepotism, and I hate it. What do you think? And don’t just tell me what dad would want. What do you really think?”

“You know as well as I do that you’ve already decided, Steve,” Sarah said, smiling. “You don’t need me to tell you what to do.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

“Hmm.” Sarah contemplated for a moment before continuing, “You say taking over the company would make you lose your morals. That you would feel like you were exploiting people. That you actually want to help them. But why can’t you do that as the head of the company?” she asked.

“Because it wouldn’t work, Mom!” Steve said, frustration creeping into his voice.

“And why not?” Sarah countered, and sat up straighter, putting her book down to look at Steve better. “On the contrary, I think taking over the company is exactly what you need to do to achieve what you want. In fact, I think you’ll be able to do it better, because you’ll have all the resources at hand that you normally wouldn’t,” Sarah pointed out.

“What?” Steve asked, puzzled.

“Think about it. You’ll have more control over the company than before. And because of that, more power. Now you can resent that power, or you can look at the bright side, and use it to your advantage. Use your influence to better things. You want to change the world? Then do it - with the help of your position. Change the stuff that you have resented for so long,” Sarah explained.

“That’s all well and good on paper, Mom.” Steve let out a humorless laugh. “Ideal, even. But it’s not that simple in the real world. I’ll have to answer a lot of people. They won’t let me do stuff that will compromise their position. I’ll be stuck. With no way out. And Dad, he would rejoice in it,” Steve said, his expression turning angry. “Because it’s exactly what he would have wanted.”

Sarah looked at Steve for a long time, with a consoling expression on her face which Steve absolutely hated.

After a long silence where Steve thought she was done talking, she spoke again. “Your father loves you, Steve,” she said softly. “In his own way, he loves you. Don’t you forget that.”

“Does he though?” Steve asked, in a broken voice. “Does he really? Or does he love the idea of me? Does he love Steve Rogers, wealthy heir to the Rogers fortune, or does he love me, mom?”

Sarah looked shocked for a minute before getting up and hugging her son. She hugged him tightly, and he held on like his life depended on it.

“He does love you, Steve,” she whispered. “You.” She emphasized, poking his chest. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you, when he thinks you aren’t looking. He is so very proud of you. We both are. You’ve achieved so much. He just wants the best for you, Steve. To do right by you. Don’t resent him for that. Please,” she said a little sadly, before patting his head and leaving him alone with his thoughts.

Steve took a deep breath and made up his mind. Okay, he was going to do this. He was going to do exactly what his mother told him - he was going to try to make the best of the situation. He was going to make things better in the company, make things better for the people there, and for himself. He was not going to end up like his father.

Steve looked out the window at the distant skyline from the backseat of the cab. The person on the phone had given him an address of the place where he had to go, accompanied by sufficient threats of injury should he leak the address to anybody else. Steve had received the message quite clearly. One part of his brain, the rational part, was screaming at him to ditch this and go to the cops. Somewhere in his mind he thought it was the right thing to do. But the other part of his brain brought up multiple images of Tony bleeding, Tony in pain, as well as Tony dead. And he knew he couldn’t risk it. He tilted his head upwards to look at the sky. It was becoming quite cloudy, and the wind was showing no sign of slowing down.

Suddenly on impulse, he decided he had to make a quick detour. He looked at his wristwatch to gauge how much time he had left. About forty-five minutes. There was still time. Could he make it? He really wanted to, and without overthinking it, leaned towards the driver.

“Stop, turn around,” he told the driver, and gave him the new address. Tony’s apartment. It wasn’t far from his own home, maybe a short ten minute ride. He wanted to see it one more time, take in the coziness of it, before he went and potentially got himself killed.

Steve leaned back on his seat, and closed his eyes, trying to focus on his breathing. He had become numb all of a sudden. He had stopped feeling scared, stopped feeling angry and had resigned himself to his fate. Something about the finality of willingly facing death and making up your mind to do it would do that, he supposed. The damned pit in his stomach wouldn’t go away though, and Steve wished it would. He took out his phone and checked into Tony’s inbox. He had decided to replay the voicemail he left to Tony again. There were so many things he wished he had told Tony. So much stuff that will always be left unsaid. He had attempted to put it all in his message, but he knew it wasn’t enough. Nothing would have been enough. He had told Tony that he loved him. Finally. After all this time. And he had meant it from the bottom of his heart. It was a big deal to him, and he knew it was a big deal to Tony as well. And now he would never get to tell him that in person. He shook his head slowly and closed his eyes again with a sigh.

“Tony! Over here!” Steve called out, with a wave of his hand. His friends were meeting at their regular bar for drinks, and Steve had decided, on impulse, to invite Tony. What made him do it, he had no idea. Tony plainly was not a huge fan of his world, but Steve wanted this. He wanted Tony to know more about his life, he wanted to introduce Tony to his friends. He suddenly felt a little nervous. What if his friends don’t like Tony? What if Tony doesn’t like them? He realized that this was important to him - he wanted the guy to get along with his friends. Why was he getting so nervous? ‘Stop it!’ he chided himself. He willed himself to calm down. He looked up as Tony made his way over to their booth and smiled at him. Tony looked nervous as well, he thought. That made him feel a little better.

“Hey,” Steve greeted him. “These are my friends. Nat, short for Natasha, Bruce, and Clint.” He pointed to each of his friends. “Everyone, this is Tony.”

Tony grinned at his friends and gave a small wave. After all introductions were done, Tony sidled into the booth alongside Steve.

“So,” Natasha said, leaning in, all business-like. “What do you think of Steve?”

“Nat!” Steve groaned and hid his face, as everyone else chuckled. “What kind of question is that?”

“Wh-What?” Tony spluttered. “I think he’s… cool?” It came out as more of a question. Tony glanced nervously at Steve.

“‘Cool’ he says.” Natasha smirked. “Sure.”

“Steve tells us you’re some sort of galaxy-brained genius?” Bruce interjected, trying to change the subject. Tony gave him a grateful smile.

“Oh, well I wouldn’t put it quite like that,” he said, playfully glaring at Steve. “But in a way, yes. I like to build stuff.”

“Interesting…” Bruce said, and started asking questions to Tony before anyone could stop him.

“I’ll get us some more drinks,” Natasha said, rolling her eyes as she got up and motioned for Steve to come along. Steve looked at her, puzzled for a moment before following her. He sighed when he saw his bodyguard coming along, though keeping a respectable distance. It was like a constant shadow hovering around him.

“I like him,” Natasha said with a hint of a smile.

“You do?” Steve said, suddenly sounding relieved. Why was he so relieved?

“Yes. He seems like he would be...good for you,” Natasha said as she scooped up some beers.

“Whoa, we aren’t… I mean, he’s just my friend,” Steve said quickly, but a blush creeping up his neck betrayed him.

“Sure. Let’s see how long that lasts,” she said smirking, before they made their way back, where Tony and Bruce were still talking excitedly about the work Bruce was doing.

Steve was glad he had started talking so animatedly with his friends. If there was anything Tony could talk about forever - it was science. Steve had found that out over hours spent trying to decipher what Tony meant, and Tony patiently trying to dumb it a little down for him. But Steve loved how smart and how passionate about his work he was. He loved the way he moved his hands as he talked about his latest idea. He looked around the table with something like pride at how impressed everyone was with Tony.

“Damn, you weren’t lying, Steve,” Bruce said a little while later, when both of them had exhausted their questions and were sitting back. “It’ll be nice to have someone smart around here to talk with. I’m glad.” He smiled, before chuckling as he got several offended ‘Hey!’s thrown at him from around the table.

“Enough of that,” Clint suddenly said. “Tony, here’s a question for you.” He directed his attention towards Tony who looked a little taken aback. “Um, yes?”

“We were talking about this before you came along. And I’m really interested to hear your opinion. What do you think is the perfect time to say those three magic words?” Clint asked Tony.

“What?” Tony had a puzzled expression on his face.

“Like, should you say it as soon as you start catching feelings? Or do you wait until it’s, like, really really serious,” Natasha explained. “Clint and I think it’s really not that big of a deal. It doesn't have to mean anything, you know, permanent. Just say it like you would say anything else.” She continued, before looking at Steve. “But Steve here feels the exact opposite. He’s like, it has a sacred meaning. You can’t just say it casually.” Natasha tried to mimic Steve’s voice, but it just came across like a parent lecturing their child.

Tony turned to look at Steve, who was sitting with his back to the wall. He had rolled his sleeves up to his elbows, and was gazing at Tony with a relaxed smile on his face.

“Well,” Tony said, trying to think. “I think someone should only say it if they mean it, and I don’t think someone can mean it casually. I mean, think about it, you are professing your love for somebody. That’s a pretty big deal. I think if you trivialize it, it loses its meaning, it loses its sanctity. If you want it to be special, then save it for when you mean it.”

“Yes!” Steve cheered and held up his hand for a high five. “I knew I could count on you,” he said smiling.

Tony slapped his hand with Steve’s before taking a swig of his beer. When he lowered it, both of them had a slight blush creeping up their faces.

Steve was about a couple of minutes away from Tony’s apartment when he got a text. He took his phone out with rising apprehension and carefully opened it. The moment he saw the text, he took a sharp breath. There was a photo attached, of Tony looking like he was about to pass out. He had a bleeding nose and Steve could make out that he had been crying. The caption read ‘tick-tock.’ Steve’s heart lurched as he saw the photo, and he suddenly felt tears prickling his eyes, but he held himself back. He typed out a message furiously - ‘If you hurt him, I swear to God I will ruin you.’ He immediately got back a reply - ‘Come obediently and unarmed, and we will let him go. You have our word.’ Steve rolled his eyes a little. What did a kidnapper’s ‘word’ amount to anyway? Nevertheless, he hadn’t missed the use of the plural ‘we.’ There were multiple people involved, then. It wasn’t a single fool wanting to make a quick buck. No, this felt bigger. He just hoped he would be able to save Tony in time.

“We’re here,” the driver said cheerily, completely oblivious to Steve’s distressed state. Must be nice, Steve thought.

“Wait here for a few minutes, please. Thanks.” Steve tried to manage what he hoped was a smile and got out of the car. He faced Tony’s building and surveyed it.

It was the same as it ever was, as though nothing was different, and he was just visiting Tony for dinner as he did every Friday night, as was their ritual. If he wanted he could just imagine Tony inside the apartment, trying to cook something but failing miserably, and trying to hide the disaster as Steve walked in. Tony would then act as if he had decided on take-out all along and would bat his eyes innocently at Steve.

Steve was smiling when he remembered himself and started walking towards the elevator. Just one look around, he convinced himself. Just one stroll, for the last time. He realized belatedly that he was picking at his nails again, and willed himself to stop. Tony would always scold him when he would do that. It was a nervous tic of his, one that he had picked up during his several visits to the hospital as a child. He had been sick numerous times when he was little, and the anxiety of it had not stopped when he had grown up and gotten better. Steve reached Tony’s apartment, and with a deep breath, unlocked the door and went inside.

“Bucky!” Steve cheered, waving his small hand excitedly at the boy. “How are you? Which round is it this time?” he inquired.

A boy who looked about eleven years old, glanced up from his bed with a smile on his face. He looked tired, with a sallow face and dark circles under his eyes. But his eyes still had a gleam in them and his smile was still infectious. So much so that Steve found himself smiling along with him.

“Now, Steve. Calm down, you’ll hurt yourself,” The nurse scolded him as she brought his wheelchair to the bed. Steve didn’t look better himself. At ten years old, he was severely underweight, and looked pale. It wasn’t anything new for him, he had been in the hospital several times now, owing to his severe asthma, which had taken a toll on him. Whenever he would be discharged, Steve knew that he would be right back in a few weeks, but he didn’t care. As long as he had his friend with him, he was fine. He wearily got up and slumped down on the hospital bed. He looked towards Bucky’s bed on the other side of the room and smiled. He had befriended the boy ever since both of them had become regulars at the hospital. Bucky was there for his leukemia, which he was getting chemotherapy for. His parents had wanted to get a private room, but Steve insisted on sharing it whenever Bucky was present.

“Fourth round now,” Bucky said, with a soft tone to his voice. “How are you doing, Steve? You’re back so soon…” He had a concerned expression on his face. His eyes looked over Steve with a maturity that was twice his small age.

“Yeah…” Steve replied, suddenly feeling sleepy. “I’ll be fine.” He waved off Bucky’s concern, a yawn on his face. Bucky always fussed over Steve so much. Like an overprotective older brother, he thought fondly.

“Have you been practicing your moves?” Bucky asked Steve suddenly, in a serious voice. “Like I showed you?”

“Yeah!” Steve said cheerily, as he got up and showed off his fight moves that Bucky had taught him, all thoughts of sleep forgotten. “Now no one can come at me!” Steve roared, a fierce expression on his face. His first couple of visits to the hospital had not been pleasant. Some other kids in the children’s wing had decided to pick on him, because of how small he had been. It was Bucky who had intervened and scared them off. They quickly became best friends after that. “You need to learn how to fight, Steve,” he had said. “I’ll show you how.”

“Good.” Bucky nodded approvingly. “Don’t forget to eat so you’ll get bigger too,” he added.

Steve scoffed. “I don’t need to get bigger. I have you!” he smiled at Bucky. “Together, we can defeat anyone,” he stressed.

“I won’t always be around, Steve,” Bucky whispered softly, his expression turning somber.

“What does that mean? Of course you’ll be!” Steve grinned, laughing a little.

“Never mind that,” Bucky sighed, shrugging off the feeling. “We’ll practice some more later, okay?”

“Okay,” Steve said, getting back on his bed. “Want to play some video games?” he asked excitedly, suddenly sitting up. He started quickly combing through his hospital bag. “My dad bought these two new ones recently! They’re so cool, you’ll love them,” he promised, bouncing in his bed a little.

“Steve! Stop that right now!” The nurse said, a little more forcefully. She came over and took the bag from him. “Lie down now, else you’ll get another coughing fit. You can play video games later.”

Steve made a face and pouted up at her, but reluctantly complied.

Bucky laughed a little at the interaction and smiled consolingly at Steve. “We’ll play some time later, Steve. You get your rest now. See? I’m resting as well.” He laid back down on his own bed, closing his eyes. The door slammed open suddenly and two women walked in, which made him open his eyes again.

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Barnes. But there’s nothing else we can do,” a woman, who Steve thought was another nurse, said to Bucky’s mother.

“I know! I know, alright?” Mrs. Barnes shouted, then lowered her voice. “Just… give me a few more days,” she said with a tired voice. “Please,” she added, helplessly. She strode over to Bucky’s bed, and put her hand on his forehead, trying to hide her tears. Bucky looked at her with a pained expression on his face.

“We’ve already delayed the payment for as long as we can, Mrs. Barnes,” the nurse said, a little frustrated. “Time is running out. We’ll need you to vacate the bed if this continues.”

“I know, just please give me some more time. I’ll have the money, I promise,” she said defeatedly, as if she had been in this situation many times before.

“Is there a problem?” Steve piped up suddenly. Everyone turned to look at him in shock, like they were just noticing that he was there for the first time. “Do you need money?” he asked Mrs. Barnes, with such innocence in his voice, that it could not be mistaken for anything other than genuine concern. “I’ll ask my father, we have plenty of it, and we don’t need it anyway.” He shrugged. “He’ll listen to me, I’m sure of it,” he said firmly. “Please, let me help,” he added with a sincere expression on his face.

Mrs. Barnes let out an involuntary sob at this little boy offering her money, then quickly collected herself. “Thank you, Steve. But it’s alright.” She attempted to smile at him. “I’ll figure something out.” Her voice quivered.

“But-” Steve started to protest, before Bucky interrupted him.

“Steve, let it go. It’ll be fine,” Bucky said quietly. Steve looked at him. He had an unreadable expression on his face, and Steve’s heart ached for him.

Steve’s nurse suddenly turned to look at him. “Oh, I almost forgot.” She grinned at him. “Your father has arranged a private screening of the latest Star Wars movie for you! Right here in the hospital! That’ll cheer you right up, won't it? Come on, let’s go!” she said enthusiastically, as she helped him into the wheelchair.

As they reached the door, Steve turned to look around at Bucky, not knowing what to say. Bucky smiled at him sadly and gave a small wave. When he returned to his room, hours later, he found that Bucky’s bed was empty and his belongings gone.

Steve breathed in the smell of Tony’s apartment as he looked around. It smelled like home. It smelled like hours spent laughing over lame jokes, and time spent cooking together. Well, time spent where Steve cooked and Tony buzzed around like a fly until he told him to go to the living room.

They had created so many memories there. Every Friday night, Steve would bring his stuff over to Tony’s place after winding up at work. They would have a home-cooked meal, if Tony managed it, else they would order take-out. On Saturday, they would go out. Catch a movie, go to the club, or just stroll around in the park. They would then dine out in the evening. It would be Steve’s treat and he wouldn’t let Tony pay, much to Tony’s chagrin. Sunday, though, was all for themselves. They would stay at home, not even bothering to change clothes. Sometimes they would play board games, other times they would binge a show. After dinner, they would go out to the balcony and talk for hours, about anything and everything, until they couldn’t keep their eyes open. Then they would finally go to bed. How often had they just laid in bed in the morning as they woke up the next day, doing absolutely nothing? They would lay there, talking about the most mundane things, but still finding the most comfort in doing so. Then someone from work would call him, reminding him of some meeting he needed to attend, and they would reluctantly get up. That had been their routine for so long.

And now it was all gone, Steve suddenly thought to himself. He went to the bedroom, uselessly hoping that he would find Tony there, sleeping soundly, unharmed and oblivious, that all of it had been just a horrible nightmare. No one was there though. Tony’s bed was empty, all perfectly made as it was every morning after Tony got up. Steve suddenly wished it wasn’t so. He wanted to see it wrinkled up, as if Tony had just gotten up and gone to the bathroom, and he would come out any minute. But the lights switched off in the bathroom told a different story.

Steve’s gaze passed over the bedroom and landed on a model rocket perched on the bedside table. He remembered Tony being excited to build it, and explaining to Steve the ins and outs of it. But that wasn’t all, Tony had wanted to build a life-sized version of it and Steve had looked at him strangely then. But now Steve desperately hoped that he would do so. It was funny how things suddenly came into perspective when faced with certain death, he thought suddenly. He took one look around, before switching off the lights and leaving the room.

“It is nice out today, isn’t it?” Steve asked Tony, his head raised and eyes closed. He had a smile on his face as he breathed in the fresh air and sighed contentedly. He loved those sunny days where a slight breeze was happening. So much so, that both Steve and Tony had decided to ditch their little rendezvous at the coffee shop and instead take their coffees and take a stroll through the nearby park. It was peaceful there with the birds. They should come here more often, he thought. It was also not that crowded, he noted with a glance around, and he suddenly had the urge to hold Tony’s hand. He looked discreetly down at Tony to find him in a daze, a frown on his face.

“Is everything okay?” he asked Tony with concern. “You seem… lost in your thoughts today.”

Tony suddenly seemed to realize where he was and turned to Steve. “Oh, sorry. It’s nothing, just…” Tony hesitated before looking at Steve, judging whether to say more. “My job increased the minimum working hours per week,” he said frustratedly. “Without increasing the pay. So…” Tony looked down at the gravel path, clearly a little embarrassed. “It’s been a little hard back home. It’s only me and my mother. And she can only do so much…” He sighed a little sadly.

“Can they even do that? Is that even allowed?” Steve said angrily. How did he not know more about Tony’s job? He should have asked before.

“Apparently they can…” Tony said with a sardonic smile, his voice breaking a little.

Steve gritted his teeth. He should have known, he chided himself. Why didn’t he already know? Tony was one of his best friends, there was no reason why he wasn’t aware of the extent of Tony’s problems until now. But he also knew why Tony had kept it from him for so long. Steve had a tendency to offer help to everybody who he thought needed it, whether they wanted it or not, he knew that. And people didn’t tend to like that. But he should do something, right? It was Tony, he thought to himself. Wild, sarcastic, passionate, intelligent Tony. Steve didn’t know anyone who deserved a better life than Tony. It pained him whenever he would see Tony start to talk about the latest idea that he had, with such passion, with such fervor, only for it to just remain an idea. But Steve could change that, damn it! He turned to look at the horizon. It was starting to get dark, though he could still see a faint mist covering the buildings. He could see his office building in the distance. His father had invested millions into it to make it as fancy as possible, and that was plainly visible from where Steve was standing. He had to do something, he thought firmly. He at least had to try. With that in mind, he turned to Tony.

“Tony, I know I’ve said this before, but-” Steve started, a little unsure.

“Steve, don’t,” Tony warned, a dangerous tone in his voice. “I told you this because you are my friend, not because I want some pity charity money from the latest billionaire on the block,” Tony said, his voice growing agitated.

They had stopped walking now, and turned to look at each other. People around them threw glances their way, and Steve was sure it would be in the tabloids tomorrow. But he didn’t care at that moment. He had to try.

“This is not about that!” Steve countered. “God, Tony, I’m not pitying you. I just want to help a friend! What is so wrong with that?”

“I don’t want your help!” Tony shouted angrily. “I don’t want you to see me as some poor helpless loser who needs help every step of the way. That’s not who I am, and that’s not who I wish to be. Good lord, that’s all that your kind of people see, huh? How rich you are, and how poor other people are, that’s all you people care about. It’s all that people cared about at my college as well,” he said, getting more frustrated by the minute. “I was the ‘charity case’,” he said the words with distaste. “I was only ‘the scholarship kid,’ the one that got in through a charity program. That was what I was known for. Not for my projects, no one cared that I aced every single class I took. No, it was whether I would be able to stay on campus. Whether my scholarship would sustain me. And it didn’t, did it? Some people pitied me, they looked at me like I would break down any second. Others taunted me.” He continued, though his eyes were somewhere else. “I don’t know which was worse.”

Steve was quiet for a moment, as he tried to find what to say. “I...didn’t realize you felt so strongly about this.”

“Yeah,” Tony said, calming down a little. “So no, I don’t want your money, Steve. I don’t want your donations, like what you’re doing for those hospitals. It’s all performative. You people feel guilty about your money and then you try to reduce it by throwing money at things. I don’t want it!” Tony looked away as he tried to compose himself.

Steve stood there for a moment. “Do you know why I’m doing this, Tony? Why my father started doing this?” He waited until Tony was looking at him before continuing. “As a child, I was… sick often. I went to the hospital a lot. I learnt a lot there during my visits,” he said quietly. “I learnt about privilege. I learnt about friendship. I learnt that not everyone has what I have, that I should be grateful. I met some of the most pure-hearted people in the world, people who had absolutely the bare minimum, but still wanted to give,” he said, tears in his eyes. “I watched as I was given more attention than them. I was given priority over them, and it made me feel absolutely horrible. It still does.” His voice was breaking, but he continued. “I vowed never to do that. That’s why I’m doing this. But you’re right, it did feel a little shallow before. The whole event, giving money to the hospitals. That’s why I’m directly going to the patients now,” he explained. “Instead of donating to the hospitals, which, who knows if they even used it for what we intended, I’m giving pro-bono cases a boost by directly helping the patients,” he said, smiling.

“That’s… a little better,” Tony said, looking at Steve with approval. “I like that idea.”

“Hmm,” Steve acknowledged, before looking at Tony closely. “What would you do?” He asked.

“What?”

“If you had enough money, what would you do in my place?” Steve repeated. “Or more specifically, what would you build?” he said, chuckling.

“Well,” Tony thought. “If it’s for the children’s wing of the hospital as you say, then I would love to build a bot that would, like, work as an assistant. Do stuff that the sick kids there find difficult to do.” He started getting excited as he explained his idea. “The bot might also help lift their spirits up, kind of like a friend, you know? Oh! And also…” Tony continued, as he animatedly started talking.

Steve looked adoringly at Tony. This. This was what he loved about Tony, his passion. His intelligence. He was constantly impressed by it. And he realized that he wanted more of it. He wanted more of Tony, to spend more time with him.

“Go on a date with me,” he said suddenly, interrupting Tony. He was a little nervous, but he knew what he wanted. He wasn’t sure about a lot of things, but he was damn sure he wanted this.

Steve looked at the time once again. Thirty minutes left for him to reach the place they wanted. He had done everything he could think of, and now it was time to end this. To get Tony to safety. He looked around Tony’s apartment again and really absorbed everything. His gaze passed over the living room and landed on a globe of the world sitting on a table. Involuntarily, a smile spread across his face as he remembered a game that he and Tony used to play. It had been foolish, but Steve had indulged Tony, and he had the feeling that Tony had done the same. He suddenly desperately wished he could go back, but instead turned around to leave. He did not have any more time to waste. He took out a key from his pocket and looked closely at it. It was the key to Tony’s apartment. The key which Tony himself had given him one night. He had trusted Steve with it and that had been one of the best days of his life. He smiled a little sadly as he took the key and put it on the key holder near the door. He wasn’t going to need it anymore, he realized. He probably would never even step foot in Tony’s building again. It was best to leave it there in the apartment. He switched off the lights and without looking back, because he knew he would break down if he did, closed the door behind him.

As he exited the building, he realized it had started drizzling a little. It would probably start raining harder soon, he surmised. How perfect. Just in time for Tony to come back to his apartment, like a welcome shower. Tony had always loved the rain. He had figured that out from the number of times Tony had dragged him outside when it had started raining, only for them to get soaking wet. Tony rejoiced in it. He himself had never been fond of rain, but did it anyway just to see that specific emotion that would enter Tony’s eyes when he danced in the rain.

He reached the cab that was still waiting for him and got in.

“Let’s go,” he said to the driver, and gave him the address.

Steve ushered Tony into the building by his hand. He was excited. He had finally convinced Tony to come and work in the company. Steve had loved Tony’s idea of an AI powered bot that could be used in hospitals. He wanted to actually make it a reality, and wanted Tony specifically to spearhead it. They had just expanded their business into tech, and had some of the best minds on board. Tony would fit right in, he knew. Tony had declined at first, but after Steve had dialed up the charm, and after they had gone on a few dates where Steve showed off his best puppy-dog eyes and an All-American smile, Tony had fallen hard.

“Are you ready? Feel prepared enough?” Steve asked Tony as they made their way to the elevator. Tony was being interviewed today, on personal request from Steve. He was sure that Tony would pass with flying colors.

“Of course,” Tony scoffed. “I’m always prepared. What do you take me for?” he said confidently, though his voice betrayed a hint of nerves.

Steve grinned and after getting off the elevator, introduced him to his tech head. “Tony, this is Miss Potts. She will be taking your interview today. You will work with her if you’re selected.”

“Hello, Mr. Stark. Call me Pepper.” She smiled and held out a hand.

After making introductions, Steve kissed Tony and wished him good luck. He still couldn’t believe he could kiss Tony now, just like that. He had wanted to do it for so long, he thought with a smile as he made his way to his own office.

“Steve, wait a minute.” Someone stopped him. He turned around to see Margaret, one of the board members, along with Gerard. Both sported disapproving faces.

“What is it?” he asked, though he already had an inkling. They had not been happy about the cancellation of the charity fund and his plans to completely revamp it.

“Can we talk in private? We want you to reconsider your decision about the donation. It’s not a good idea, Steve,” Gerard said, with a little frustration in his voice. “This is how your father intended it to work. The hospitals should be given the freedom to do with the money as they please, wherever they need it,” he explained. “That can be for free procedures, or somewhere else. We shouldn’t force their hand like this.”

“I’m not forcing anybody’s hand. The reason we wanted to start this charity in the first place was to help underprivileged people get better medical assistance. That was the goal. I think you might have forgotten that minor fact,” Steve said a little testily. “I won’t change my mind. This is how I want to do it. Now if you’ll excuse me…” he said, before closing the door of his office in their faces.

Natasha was sitting inside the office, with her head glued to her phone. She looked up as Steve entered.

“Nat!” he exclaimed, his mood lifting up slightly. “When did you get here?”

“A while ago. Your receptionist let me in,” she said, smiling as she hugged Steve. “I haven’t seen you in a while, so I thought I’d drop by. We could catch some lunch together?” she asked.

“Sure.” Steve chuckled. “Give me a little while, and then we can leave.”

“I heard Tony came in today?” she probed, smirking a little. “How’s it going with you two?”

“Amazing,” Steve sighed contentedly. “We’ve gone on a few dates, and I just keep finding more interesting things about him,” he said with a smile. “I think this could really turn into something, Nat.”

“I’m happy for you, Steve,” she said softly. “You deserve this. He seems like a great guy.”

“He is,” Steve replied a little shyly. “He is one of the best people I know.”

About ten minutes into the ride, Steve decided to stop. He had to first make sure that Tony was alright, that the kidnappers would actually let him go before he went and gave himself up. He told the driver to stop at a quiet location and got out. Walking a few steps away, he called up the number that had left the message.

“Steve, so nice to hear from you,” a distorted voice answered in a deadpan voice.

“I’m on the way, but I want Tony released right now,” Steve demanded, growing angry at the nonchalant tone of the person’s voice. “And I want proof of it,” he added.

“He will be released the moment you get here, Steve, alone. Look, we’ve even prepared for it and everything,” the guy answered and Steve immediately got a photo from him. It was Tony sitting near what looked like a store entrance. He was tied up still and looked distraught, but there was a fire in his eyes that let Steve know he hadn’t given up yet.

“And just so you know,” the person on the phone continued. “He isn’t at the address I sent you. So you better not try any funny business,” he warned.

“How do I know you won’t trick me? You’ll just capture me and refuse to release him. How do I know I can trust you?” Steve asked a little frantically.

“You don’t,” the person said in a simple tone. “But you also don’t really have a choice, do you? What can you do but do as I tell you? Do anything else and you know what happens.” Steve received another photo, this time with a gun to Tony’s head. Steve felt like throwing up.

“You don’t have the upper hand here Steve,” the guy sneered, laughing a little. “I do. So you don’t get to make deals. Now you better get here quickly, you don’t have a lot of time left. Chop chop.” With that, the guy hung up.

Steve gritted his teeth, feeling completely helpless. But he didn’t have a choice. He had less than fifteen minutes left. He got into the cab for the third time that day and told the driver to start driving.

“Ooh, France! Fancy.” Tony said, smiling at Steve.

They were laying in Tony’s bed at his apartment with a globe of the world perched in between them. They were playing a game of ‘Where would we go?’ - one person would spin the globe, the other would cover their eyes and point to a place. They would then joke about going on a trip there. It was a silly game, Steve knew. But that was why it was also enjoyable. They enjoyed each other’s company so much that even foolish games were interesting. Steve had never had this much fun doing absolutely nothing, and he knew it was all because of Tony. He smiled back, before pretending to think.

“Hmm. That does seem fancy,” Steve acknowledged. “We could go to Paris.” His eyes lit up. “That seems like fun.”

“I mean, it isn’t called the City of Love for nothing. Seems like the perfect place,” Tony said softly, propping himself up on his elbows.

“Yeah.” Steve sported the biggest grin as he gazed up at Tony. “Okay, my turn.” Steve said, covering his eyes. Tony spinned the globe, before telling Steve to point.

“Oh, bummer!” Steve whined with a disappointed voice as he opened his eyes. “Well, we’re already in the US. Guess no vacation for us.” He shrugged with a shake of his head.

Tony burst out laughing as he flopped back down on the bed. “You’re so bad at this game!” he teased Steve. “Like, ridiculously bad. Are you sure you graduated top of your class?” he asked, trying to keep a serious expression. “Sounds fake to me.”

“Shut up!” Steve laughed, throwing a pillow at Tony’s head. “I did graduate top of my class, thank you very much,” he added sanctimoniously.

“Interesting. Well that still doesn’t change the fact I won the game,” Tony smirked.

“Since when was this a competition?!” Steve was flabbergasted. “You can’t just make up stuff on the fly, that’s so against the rules.”

“I decide the rules, so I can change them anytime.” Tony smiled, hovering a little above Steve. “Boyfriend privileges,” he said softly.

“Hmm, well then, I accept my loss,” Steve said. “And what will the victor accept as his prize?”

“How about we start with a kiss,” Tony smiled mischievously, as he bent down towards Steve.

A while later, they were laying on the bed, faces next to each other. Tony suddenly sat up, remembering something, and turned towards the bedside table.

“Oh! I almost forgot. I wanted you to have this,” he said, turning back to face Steve, with a key in his hand. A key to his apartment. “This is all yours, Your Highness.” He bowed dramatically before giving it to Steve.

“Really?” Steve asked, a little overwhelmed.

“Yeah, keep it. It would...really mean a lot,” Tony replied, suddenly feeling a little shy.

“Thanks Tony. I… really appreciate it,” Steve said, getting emotional. A key to Tony’s apartment, he thought. He felt giddy all of a sudden. This was really happening, wasn’t it? Tony had trusted him with something so valuable. Looking at Tony’s face, Steve could see it was clearly important to him. It was important to Steve as well. He was going to cherish it forever.

Steve looked out the window. It had started raining a little. The windows were fogging up with the heat from the fireplace, and he could see his blurry reflection in it. He used to hate the rain. Really despise it. He hated the cold that that kind of weather brought. But Tony loved it. If it was raining when they would go out, Tony’s mood got a little better, his smile a little bigger. He would look up to the sky, letting the drops of rain wet his face. He would give a contented sigh, and breath in the smell of the rain. Steve would stare, mesmerized. He would think that there wasn’t a sight more beautiful than that. Subconsciously, he had also started to like the rain, on account of Tony. Was that even possible? he thought. Can years of habit just change because of one person? Well, if someone could do it, it was Tony, he thought fondly.

“And… there is something else,” Tony said suddenly, bringing his attention back. “Pepper offered me a grant to work on one of my other projects. You know the geolocation sensor I told you about? That,” he added, eyeing Steve closely.

“Oh?” Steve said, pretending to be surprised. “That’s great, Tony! Congratulations.”

Tony looked at Steve for a bit before sighing. “It was you, wasn’t it?” he asked. When Steve started to look a little embarrassed, Tony took it as confirmation. “You’re impossible, Steve.” He laughed a little. “How many times have I told you that I don’t need your help all the time? I can figure it out, Steve. I don’t need saving. I should just reject the grant.” He sighed. Steve suspected that if it was any other time, Tony would have gotten frustrated, but he seemed too relaxed now to get angry.

“I know that, Tony! That’s not what this is about. Look,” Steve said, sitting up a little. “I know you don’t need my help. But that doesn’t mean you should reject all of it! There is… a certain grace in allowing yourself to be open to help as well, Tony. I know you might not need it, but if people who care about you want to help you, then… you should allow them to do so sometimes.” Steve shrugged. “It’s for their benefit too. It makes them feel needed. It makes them happy. If they want to do it so dearly, then it’s okay to allow them that opportunity, Tony. You don’t need to do everything alone. You don’t need to shut yourself off. Let me help you, once in a while. Please.” He took Tony’s hands into his own.

Tony stared at Steve for a minute before hugging him tightly. “Okay, Steve,” he whispered into his ear, before letting go. “If it means that much to you… then okay. I’ll accept it,” he said smiling. “But, you need to realize you can’t do this every time. You don’t need to save everyone, whether they need it or not. Rather, you can’t save everyone. You can’t help some people, and that is fine,” he stressed. “And you need to be able to accept that.” He poked Steve in the chest. “Stop trying to be the hero all the time.”

“Okay.” Steve breathed out. He could do that, he thought. Well, he could try, he amended.

Tony chuckled as he looked at Steve. “Jeez, has anybody ever told you that you have a massive savior complex?” he asked Steve. “Like, huge.”

“It… might have been mentioned a couple of times,” Steve acknowledged, a little embarrassed. He smiled at Tony, before flopping down on the bed again.

Steve gave directions to the cab driver to park the car three blocks away from the given address. He had to go there alone, after all. He paid for the ride, turned around and started walking slowly, feeling like he was literally walking towards his death. Which, in a way he was, he concluded. It had started raining in full force, and he hadn’t brought an umbrella in a hurry. So he walked along the footpath getting soaked in the rain, but feeling completely numb towards it. He looked around a little. He was somewhere on the outskirts of the city and the place was completely deserted, with only the howl of the wind to keep him company. The street lights flickered over his head. Some of them weren’t even functional. As he walked along, a deserted structure became visible on his left and he took a sharp breath. That must be the place, he thought. He started walking towards it, gaining a little purpose in his step, all thoughts of fear suddenly forgotten. The place looked absolutely ghostly, it looked like a one-storey structure, with no paint on the outside and no window-frames visible. It was as if they had halted construction in the middle, gone away and had never come back. It somehow did look like some sort of warehouse, a thought suddenly popped into his head. He hadn’t been completely off-base in his imaginings after all.

As he turned into the compound, he suddenly became aware of somebody behind, following him. His body tensed up and he fought the urge to abruptly turn around. But as he was thinking of confronting them, his vision went dark and his hands were captured.

“Hey! Let me go!” he screamed out. No one answered but he could feel the guy behind him making quick work of tying up his hands. When that was done, the person started pulling him towards what he thought was the building, though he had no way of knowing since his eyes were covered by what felt like a cloth mask. He briefly thought of kicking out his legs but his captor tightened his hands on him, suspecting the same. He stumbled upon some steps and walked up gingerly. The wind stopped making noise and he realized he was inside.

He walked along a corridor for what felt like forever, until his captor suddenly stopped. A brief noise on his right made him jump, and he realized with a jolt that there had been two people behind him, not one. One of them dragged something in front of him, and it was only when they forced him to sit that he realized it was a chair. They tied up his hands with another rope, and also tied up his legs for good measure, but Steve rolled his eyes at that. He had come here willingly. Where was he gonna go? There was no need for all that, but instead of voicing his protest, he asked something else.

“Where’s Tony? Let him go right now!” He tried to put a little force in his voice, but his vulnerable state was not lost on him. There was only so much he could do.

“Oh, he’ll be fine. What do you take me for, Steve? I’m not heartless. I have nothing against him,” a smug voice said from beside him. A familiar voice. Steve instinctively tensed up and his mouth dropped open.

Someone fiddled with a knot at the back of his head, and suddenly he could see again. He squinted his eyes at the light in the room, and tried to shield himself, before realizing that he couldn’t move his hands. He turned to look at the person who had spoken and tried to think of something to say, but words were lost on him. Gerard stood there, a smirk on his face, his hands in the pockets of his well-tailored suit that looked pointedly out of place in the dilapidated setting they were in, and a calm posture, as if Steve posed no threat to him. And Steve hated the fact that he was right.

“You.” Steve managed to speak. “I - How could you!” The first thing that came out of his mouth was an accusation, and hurt at the betrayal. This was the person he had trusted for years. This was the person his father had trusted. And here he was, with no sign of guilt and no remorse on his face. “What do you want?” Steve breathed out.

Gerard flicked his wrist, indicating his captors to leave them alone. They were big burly men, Steve would have stood no chance against them had he tried to escape. After they were gone, Gerard leaned it conspiratorially towards Steve, his hands on the arms of the chair.

“What does anyone want from someone like you, Steve?” he said slowly. “I want money. You understand, right?”

“No, I really don’t,” Steve said sincerely. “You are literally one of the highest paid people in my company!” he added with a disbelieving tone. “What do you want with more money? Why would you give all that up?”

“I’m not giving anything up, Steve,” Gerard said a little bitterly. “In fact, I’m gonna gain a lot.” He stood up and walked a few steps away, a contemplative expression on his face.

“You know, we had a good thing going, your father and I. He would donate money to that useless charity fund, and it would directly go to my account. Very smooth. That is, until he found out.” Gerard turned to look at Steve, a mean glint in his eye. “Poor thing got into an accident before he could tell anyone, though.” He shook his head in mock distress.

“You did what?” Steve’s voice was barely a whisper. Rage started filling him suddenly. He couldn’t contain it any longer. “You did what?!” he screamed out. Dread was creeping through him as he realized that Gerard wasn’t gonna let Tony go at all. He was gonna kill them both and Steve had to do something.

“Relax. You survived, didn’t you? I thought, maybe it’ll be better. You obviously didn't want the job. Why would you care about something as boring as that? But then you decided to go and change stuff,” Gerard said with disgust. “You canceled the damn charity and I was left hanging in the air!” Gerard said a little loudly.

“Yeah, you were forced to stop stealing. Not exactly a bad thing!” Steve countered, equally loud. He was getting angrier by the second. “Wow.” He laughed humorlessly. “Like, wow. I always knew you were an asshole, Shaw, but I didn’t think you would do this. What an embarrassment!” He had started picking at the rope with which his hands were tied, trying to loosen it.

Gerard was quiet for a moment before he spoke softly. “You don’t know anything about my life, Steve. I had problems and I was in need of money, and your father laughed in my face about it! The same man whom I had supported for years, laughed and dismissed me! Do you know what that feels like? Do you know the lengths I’ve had to go to survive?”

“I don’t care! This isn’t the way!” Steve shouted. His hands had started aching from trying to pick at the knot, but he kept going.

“That doesn’t matter anymore,” Gerard said, all business-like. He took out a file from a drawer and showed it to Steve. “You’re going to sign over the company to me, Steve. Right now. Look, I've drawn up the papers and everything.”

“No,” Steve said simply. He wasn’t going to tarnish his father’s legacy and put all his employees in jeopardy at the hands of this madman.

Before he could think of anything else, he felt a punch at the side of his face and his head swerved in the opposite direction. He felt another punch to the gut and leaned over, trying to take in a breath.

“Want to try that again?” Gerard asked.

“No,” Steve said again. “Besides, a contract signed under duress won’t hold up anyway. You’re wasting your time,” he added, but before he could finish the sentence, he felt another punch on his face. Something warm tricked down the side, and he realized he was bleeding.

“Don’t you worry about that. I know some very powerful people who’ll handle it,” Gerard smirked. “You’re weak, Steve. You’re a weak man. You care too much. Even your father thought so. He told me so himself.”

“You’re lying,” Steve breathed out, though his voice betrayed a hint of doubt.

“Am I though?” Gerard said. “You could end this right now by signing the damn thing, but you want to suffer...for what? For whom? So weak.” He spit out, with a disgusted look on face, before he aimed another punch to Steve’s gut.

Steve's whole body had started hurting and he could taste blood. He wanted to cry out in pain, but held himself back. His mind was still focused on the rope around his hands.

Suddenly, he could hear sirens in the distance. “Shit,” Gerard cursed before suddenly holding a gun to Steve’s head. “What did you do? I told you to come alone!”

“I didn’t do anything!” Steve said, frantically, trying to calm his nerves even as a gun was being pointed at him. He could see Gerard’s mind turning over every scenario in his head. Outside, he started hearing shouts and footsteps as the sirens grew louder.

“I should just kill you right now,” Gerard gritted out. A note of panic entered his voice for the first time and Steve found satisfaction in that.

Come on, Steve said to himself, trying to free the knot. He could see Gerard’s finger on the trigger, but just as he was about to pull it, shouts came from outside.

“Steve!” A familiar voice hollered and his blood ran cold. No, no, no, he thought, just as Tony barged into the room, looking shocked.

“Tony, get away from the door! Now!” Steve screamed, fear evident in his voice.

Gerard whirled around, wide-eyed and suddenly pointed the gun at Tony. Steve could see panic in Gerard’s eyes and sweat running down his face and knew that at any moment, he was gonna pull the trigger.

Then everything seemed to slow down around Steve. He could see Gerard’s finger on the trigger, about to pull. He could feel the knot coming undone and circulation returning to his hands as he stood up. He could feel himself stumbling as the rope around his legs came loose and he ran towards Tony. He could see Tony’s shocked face as he threw him out of the way and turned to look at Gerard. He could feel pain blossoming in his chest as he saw Gerard’s hand recoil. He could see a wet stain on his shirt growing when he looked down.

Then everything suddenly seemed to amp up as he hit the ground. The lights in the room suddenly seemed to overwhelm him. He could still hear sirens somewhere in the distance. Someone nearby was wailing. Steve wished they would shut up already. Couldn’t they see he was trying to sleep? Someone grabbed him by the shoulders. “It’ll be alright” they said. Will it really? Steve hoped so. The last thing he remembered was thinking how he wished he could talk to Tony again. And then he blacked out.

.

.

.

Tony stared at the flowers near the grave intently. They were wilted, past their prime, their vibrant colors turned into pale echoes of the past. Tony could quite relate to them, he thought suddenly with a sardonic smile. He had been feeling like a pale echo of the past himself. How funny. He looked down at the headstone. ‘In Loving Memory of Howard Stark,’ the headstone proclaimed. He had been coming there for the past twelve years. It was peaceful there. He sighed and took out his phone when it started ringing.

“What?” he said into the phone, perking up slightly. “Okay, I’ll be right there.”

He rushed through the corridors of the hospital with bated breath. He got disapproving glares from people around but he didn’t care. He got out of the elevator as fast as he could and barged into the hospital room wide-eyed.

“Hey,” Steve said with a weak voice and a small smile on his face.

Tony had never felt relief like that before. He took a breath, composing himself, before fixing Steve with a glare. “You stupid, foolish idiot!” he exclaimed, as he stalked over to Steve’s bed. “How dare you try to die on me! And how dare you try to exchange my life for yours. This isn't a game! Stop trying to save everyone, my god!” he said as he sat down on a chair, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder.

Steve chuckled a little before saying, “Good morning to you too.” He raised his hand with what looked like great effort and started playing with Tony’s hair. “How long was I out?”

“About two days,” Tony answered, trying to stay angry but failing. “You didn’t have any critical injuries. Thank god we found you when we did.”

“How did you find me anyway?” Steve frowned a little.

Tony suddenly lifted his head up, a proud gleam in his eye. “Well, my little sensor came quite handy with that.” He smirked. “The cops rescued me first and told me what happened. But I got through Gerard’s firewall in no time and found your location. Don’t say I never did anything for you,” he added teasingly.

Steve laughed a little before remembering something. “Did you… uh, I sent you a message…” He trailed off, his voice unsure.

“Oh yes, I got it.” Tony nodded, with a nonchalant voice.

“Well? And?” Steve asked, his eyes going wide.

“And…” Tony leaned it towards Steve’s ear and lowered his voice to a whisper. “I love you too…” He tried to stop there, but couldn’t help himself. “...Your Highness,” he added with a cheeky tone, making Steve laugh.

“Well, I’m glad. Now can you please ask someone to get me coffee before I start having withdrawals?” Steve asked, grimacing a little.

“Already on it.” Tony grinned and pulled out two cappuccinos. “I went to our place before coming here when they told me you were awake.” He carefully handed the cup to Steve before adding in a serious tone, “Don’t tell the nurse.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Steve said innocently and they both grinned at each other before sipping their coffees.