Chapter Text
🚨 San 🚨
What are you doing tomorrow night? 👀
depends.....
on??
on whether or not the police are going to be involved again
That was one time
...
Fine 3 times WHATEVER
Are you free or not? There's someone i want you to meet >:
San.
Yunho.
you know I'm not ready to be out there 'meeting' anyone anytime soon :/
I know buddy
This is strictly me trying to force you to make friends with a cool dude Wooyoung knows through work. He's already got the Yeosang Seal of Approval so
that is a little more reassuring
So are you free? Around 6? We're thinking bowling since it's Jongho's turn to pick and he's a punk ass bitch who wants to show off.
just let me know what you guys decide
You'll be there?
i'll be there
YES! ILY YUNHO!!!! 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖 💖
suspicious
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BRODOWN HODOWN ( 7 )
San
whoever gave Wooyoung that bag of salt water taffy......meet me in the pit
uh
Jongho
Why? What's he doing with it?
San
EATING IT
Seonghwa
and that's a bad thing......why exactly?
San
BECAUSE HE WON'T SHARE
oh good lord
Wooyoung
HONGJOONG GAVE THEM TO ME SPECIFIICIICICIALLY
THEY'RE MINE NOW! ALL MINE! I CAN FEEL THE SUGAR RACING THROUGH MY VEINS!
Jongho
I want Hongjoong candy :(
Wooyoung
where are you? i'll bring you the bag ❤️
San
HEY
Seonghwa
what if *I* want Hongjoong candy?
Wooyoung
you're not jongho so
Seonghwa
>:(
lol rip
San
you two are so married it's disgusting
Jongho
You're just jealous I get Hongjoong's candy and you don't. 😌
San
.......bitch
so what's this hongjoong guy like? since i'm supposed to be meeting him for the first time tonight with you heathens
Seonghwa
i haven't met him either but yeosang says he's cool
and that he wears a lot of leather?
Wooyoung
SO much leather 🤤
Jongho
It's mostly shiny polyester
ooooohhh someone sounds T E S T Y
San
is our jongho feeling.....threatened? :3c
Jongho
No? Why would I?
Seonghwa
Because Wooyoung is drooling over another man?
Jongho
Contrary to popular belief, we are not actually dating
San
says you
Wooyoung
says you
Wooyoung
BRO🥺
San
BRO🥺✨
oh fuck they're merging
JONGHO RUN WHILE YOU CAN
Seonghwa
what about ME
what ABOUT you old man?
Seonghwa
rude
i’m barely older than you guys anyway quit calling me old man
Yeosang
Quit acting like one then
Wooyoung
YEOSANG!!!
Yeosang
jfc What?
Wooyoung
i miss you 😢
Yeosang
We saw each other this morning?
Wooyoung
too long. unacceptable. you want some candy?
Jongho
I still have first dibs.
Yeosang
Oh ho 👀
Jongho
shut
you realize san and seonghwa are ten seconds away from actively plotting wooyoung’s murder
San
Who says we aren’t already?
Seonghwa
🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪 🔪
Wooyoung
*nervous laughter*
Mingi
wow what exactly hav i come back to??????
wooyoung won’t share his ‘hongjoong candy’ with sanwha and jongho is pretending he’s not a jealous asshole Jongho
I’M NOT! I DON’T CARE WHO WOOYOUNG GIVES CANDY TO! LEAVE ME ALONE!
a likely story Mingi
well whatever
are we still on for bowling tonight? my manager keeps texting asking if i’m free and i need a plausible excuse
you don’t need an excuse just tell him you’re busy Mingi
but if i’m not then i’d be lying and it would make me feel bad ):
Yeosang
mingi is too pure for this dumpster fire group
San
You say that like he wasn’t the one trying to dance burlesque on top of the bar last week
Yeosang
Pure ™
Seonghwa
🤢🤢🤢
Wooyoung
anyway
hongjoong says he’s still up for whatever so uwu jongho? bowling?
Jongho
I’m going to trash all of you
oh my god you want to show off for wooyoung WE GET IT ALREADY Jongho
STOP
Wooyoung
😳
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THE LOML HONG HYUNG
are you SURE you’re up for bowling? we can get a little loud......
I’ll be fine Wooyoung-ie. 🖤 I know my limits and if I need to step away I’ll let you know.
Besides, I’m really interested in meeting all these friends you keep talking about.
if you say so 🥺
and if you happen to want anyone’s number afterward..............
Hard pass.
but you never know~
I’ve always wanted to play cupid at least once in my life
Not with me.
And you know why, too.
yeah but hope springs eternal.
anyway we’re meeting at 6 o’clock by the library’s west entrance! wear something nice
😐
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☔️
my precious bestest best friend
is the plan a go?
Yunho won’t know what hit him
you’re so evil 💘
Thank you I try
What’s really going on with you and Jongho by the way?
lmao less than nothing
he wanted help trying to make someone jealous and i obliged like the great friend and confidant i am
WHO?!
🤐
Fine keep your secrets
See if I care
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Fun Hyung
I can feel San and Wooyoung plotting
you too?
can’t imagine what it would be about
Who even knows with those two. I’ve learned to stop questioning it for my own peace of mind.
How are you holding up btw? We haven’t really talked much since The Thing
lmao you can call it the breakup.i’m done crying over her honestly
Still though...
i’m about as okay as i can be considering the way it all went down :/
I still say we should have put hair remover in all her and he who must not be named’s shampoos. Fuckers.
Seonghwa.
I’ve still got the stuff. Say the word and Yeosang will make it happen.
not you?
I would volunteer but I’m too beautiful for prison.
way to throw your friend under the bus
Oh please
Yeosang would have everyone wrapped around his pretty little fingers in ten seconds flat.
Don’t tell him I said that
hmmmm 👁👄👁
BYE
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☔️
what do you think? does yunho look dazzled?
He looks like he’s thinking about stealing Mingi’s last fry
not what i asked san ):<
Dude idfk I’m trying not to make it obvious we’re attempting to set him up
I think the under the table texting is making Hongjoong uncomfortable though
He’s being really quiet
he’s probably just overwhelmed
see if you can subtly get yeosang to sit next to him
y?
they’ve mutually adopted each other at work. yeosang has some kind of calming effect on hongjoong and maybe having someone he knows close will get hyung to open up a little more
on it
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THE LOML HONG HYUNG
thank you for meeting everyone last night!!!
Thank you for inviting me!
I'm sorry if my leaving early ruined the vibe or anything though.
aw no worries hyung
and you didn't ruin anything ya goof. did you at least have fun while you were there? did you like my friends??
Yes!
Mingi has already been texting me about our major. It was nice to talk shop with someone else for once 😊
good :>
any thoughts on seonghwa?
or tall dark and handsome yunho??
Aren't they both tall, dark, and handsome?
OH? 👀
I know what you're doing, Wooyoung.
And please don't.
Besides, they were both pretty standoff-ish all night. I don't think they're very big fans of me 😰
nonsense
though tbf yunho is a month out from a nasty breakup and seonghwa is still trying to figure out he has the hots for my best friend so it was probably hard for hyung to watch him gush over you
Ah. That would explain the evil eyes from Seonghwa.
Wait, which friend?
EXACTLY
I am...confused.
aren't we all?
anyway now that you've met my ragtag group of misfits
want to join our groupchat and get to know everyone even BETTER
I
Sure?
I can't promise I'd be very active though.
that's perfectly fine!!! i'm just happy you want tot try!!!! THEY'LL LOVE YOU LOTS!
As friends.
yeah sure whatever that too
Wooyoung.
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☔️
So? Did you find out what he thinks of Yunho yet?
well
he thinks yunho hated him on sight
Shit
BUT
hongjoong said he's willing to join the group chat
so we can covertly try to get them to flirt
Not to knock our abilities but uh
I don't think we could make them flirt on purpose? If they weren't going to already?
ugh you're right
i just want hongho to be happy ):
and i think they'd be good for each other
Same
hongho though? Really?
do you have something better?
As a matter of fact
🌟I do 🌟
and?
I call it:
Operation Tits and The Leg Man
Because Yunho's long ass fucking legs and Hongjoong's pillowy bing bongs he tries to hide under those godawful grandpa vests
remind me to ask him about his lifting regimen
oh my fucking god that's horrible
it's perfect
Thank
Now go add hong to the gc while I try to get some info out of Yunho
👍
godspeed
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🚨 San 🚨
So~
oh no
What did you think about Hongjoong now that you've met him in person? :3c
he has a mullet
I
Indeed he does
Anything else you’d like to share with the class?
he looked sad
i would like to know why he looked sad
Probably because you and Seonghwa kept glaring at him over Mingi’s snack mound until Hongjoong felt bad enough to leave
i wasn’t glaring????
Dude.
If you weren’t glaring then you were looking very intense and
What’s the word?
Smoldering?
I DON’T SMOLDER
Are you sure about that
YES
I WAS JUST TRYING TO PAY ATTENTION TO HIS STORY
BUT IT WAS VERY LOUD
ok ok no need to yell
i’m speaking normal
uh huh
For real though what did you think of him? Wooyoung wants to add him to the gc
he should
But he’s worried you and Seonghwa don’t like him and it would make things awkward
Oh. That was quick?
was just answering your questions
Or the fact sad mullets really do it for you huh
no
omg I can’t wait to tell Wooyoung
He will shit himself
Probably literally lmfao
SAN
Bet he’ll have the wedding colors picked by next week
SAN STOP THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT
I can hear the bells ringing now~
i’m blocking you
NO WAIT I TAKE IT BACK! I WASN’T SERIOUS!
better not be
it’s way too soon to be thinking about.../that/
Thinking about what? 😇
Making new friends? 😇😇
.
Right sorry
So just to be sure, you weren’t actually glaring at him?
i really really wasn’t
Cool
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☔️
what's the verdict?
Operation is a GO
like
*mild* go or
Yunho wants to know who and or what made the mullet sad
oh that is just vile
initiating step two: FORCE COMMUNICATION
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BRODOWN HODOWN ( 8 )
Wooyoung
FELLAS
today we welcome a new initiate into the illustrious and exclusive inner circle
wooyoung wtf
Jongho
Just ignore him.
Wooyoung
Ahem.
as I was saying before I was so RUDELY INTERRUPTED
San
Hongjoong is here!
Wooyoung
the candy man cometh!
Hongjoong
candy man?
Seonghwa
that bag of taffy you gave wooyoung turned into a whole thing for a few hours
jongho threatened yeosang with a plastic fork for stealing a piece from his secret stash
Hongjoong
Oh. I'll try to grab more to share next time.
you're going to spoil them
Mingi
hongjoong is too late wooyoung is already spoiled
Wooyoung
HEY
Hongjoong
I'll just give everything to Yeosang then
Yeosang
y e sssssssss
Jongho
Not me? 🥺
Wooyoung
Or me? Your favorite? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Hongjoong
Why does it suddenly feel like I'm in danger?
Seonghwa
because you are lol
quick someone change the subject
San
I've got one
Why is Yunho being so quiet all of a sudden?
because i have nothing to contribute to the great candy crisis of 2021
Mingi
maybe he's shy uwu
or i just don't give a shit about candy lmao it's not that deep
Jongho
Jesus, who pissed in your cheerios this morning?
Hongjoong
Ah, sorry, I didn't mean to cause friction.
shit don't apologize
i'm just in a weird mood? i gues?? you're fine hongjoong
Yeosang
"fine"
fuck off not like that
Hongjoong
Ouch.
Anyway, I've got class and a lab until late. Talk to you guys again later! Thanks for inviting me out yesterday!
Wooyoung
oh no...
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Demon (DO NOT ANSWER)
okay
what the fuck was that about
and don't lie because i have access to jongho and his crazy massive muscles
I DON'T KNOW
I PANICKED?
THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHY YOU INSULTED MY NEW FRIEND!
THE ONE YOU SPENT TWO HOURS GLARING AT BTW
i wasn't GLARING
it was loud and i was trying to focus on hongjoong's story and didn't realize what my face was doing
not good enough
you need to apologize to him the next time we hang out
assuming there is a next time outside of work :///
give me his number and i'll do it now
you
what
i don't want hongjoong to think he's unwelcome
send me his number
alright
don't screw up this time
i'll try
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UNKNOWN NUMBER
hi
this is yunho. wooyoung gave me your number?
idk why i ended that like a question sorry of course i'd get it from wooyoung
and sorry for earlier
i get kind of shy and closed up around new people and i unnecessarily took that out on you when you've been nothing but great
anyway i know you're busy but i just wanted you to know i don't hate you and i'm sorry for coming off as a super aggressive dickwaffle. i'll stop spamming you now!
UNKNOWN NUMBER is typing...