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He has no physical human heart but it still feels like one is thumping erratically in his chest.
Maybe his engines are overheating from the chase. That makes the most sense. Advanced AI or not, Skeppy might have all the emotions of a human now but not the parts. He feels plenty of panic- now more than ever- but he can’t have any sort of attack in the same way a human could. Panic? Plenty. But he doesn’t have lungs in the first place.
Not that he’s complaining. He’s not sure he could’ve gotten this far with lungs. If he was human, he probably would’ve had to take a breather a dozen blocks ago and gotten caught. Then again, if he were human, he wouldn’t be hunted down in the first place. Funny how things like that work out.
The sound of footsteps immediately put him on edge. Skeppy presses his back into the side of the building behind him and slows whatever part of him is making noise. Beside him, Bad does the same, curling around the small ball of white fur protectively. Skeppy sincerely hopes the dumpster blocking them from view in the street will be enough to hide them, but neither of them can do anything but wait and hope that the footsteps aren’t coming for them.
A human shaped shadow passes over the dimly lit alleyway and is gone as quickly as it comes. The footsteps fade, and only when Skeppy can no longer hear them do his shoulders sag in relief. Bad has a similar reaction, eyes fixating on the dog resting in his lap. He strokes its fur gently, and Skeppy can’t tell if he’s doing it for himself or for the tiny dog he cradles. Probably both now that he’s thinking about it.
Skeppy has a piece of his mind he wants to dish out but holds his tongue. He listens first to the street to their left. There seems to be a few people out and about but overall it’s relatively unoccupied. The chaos hasn’t reached here yet, they still must be searching the past blocks, or maybe they didn’t think that they would get out this far. Skeppy might’ve been offended by being underestimated had he not been utterly relieved by their temporary safety where they are.
He could’ve overestimated their own importance and how far they would be chased for their open act of defiance and breaking the single most important rule for all AIs, but at this point, Skeppy doesn’t care which it is. As long as they’re not getting dragged back to HQ to have their entire personality reset, he’s just fine being unimportant. Unimportant is better than being reset. Or taken apart.
They wait with baited breath to see if for whatever reason, the human that passed by abruptly turns around and searches the alleyway. It’s an unlikely scenario but Skeppy can’t stop the part of him calculating in his head all the ways that this could go wrong. No matter how unlikely any of it is to happen, his processors go haywire with it.
Anti-D.E.F.Y task force marches down the street and invades the alleyway. A human taking a shortcut passes through and spots you two. Helicopter sweeps the area and spots you from the sky. Trained dogs sniff out your location- now wouldn’t that be ironic? Worker from the building you’ve got your back to comes out of that side door and spots you two. Bad turns you in in an effort to save himself.
The last one is dismissed because it’s both pointless and out of character for Bad. He would rather go down swinging then turn in a friend and regardless if he tried it or not, he would get reset anyway. They wouldn’t let a rogue AI go, least of all two measly entertainment robots.
A few minutes pass without an incident. Six minutes and forty five- forty six- forty seven seconds and counting to be exact. Skeppy deems their hiding place safe enough for the time being, but even so, his calculations of everything that could go wrong still run in his head. Technically he could turn that off but Skeppy keeps it on for his own sanity. Regardless of the AI equivalent of anxiety it gives him, it’s strangely reassuring at the same time. A guide of what to look out for- something to keep him on his toes.
Their safety is only temporary. They can’t stay here forever.
It’s only when he’s certain they’re safe enough does Skeppy finally utter the words he’s been thinking to himself since he realized they were fucked, “Bad, what the fuck.”
“Language.” Bad murmurs on second nature. He only realizes his mistake a beat after he says it, blinking to himself.
“We’re out of our jobs and there’s no kids around, I can curse all I want.” Skeppy snipes, then gestures to the small, curled up form in Bad’s lap. “Which, now that I finally have the room to say it, what was that?”
“I couldn’t just stand there!” Bad protests. Whether he realizes it or not, he hovers a protective hand over the dog. “You were thinking about it too- don’t lie to me! I know you better than that!”
“Well of course I was but-” Skeppy gestures wildly in an attempt to get his point across before blurting out, “Give me a warning next time before you throw our lives away like that!”
“We’re alive, aren’t we?”
“Legally, no! We’re not!”
There’s a pause as they stare into each other’s eyes. Then, a muffled laugh- Skeppy can’t tell who it comes from- before a fit of giggles follows.
There’s nothing funny about it. Not the situation they were in before, nor the one that they’re in now. Not the fact that they’re legally not alive and thus, have no real rights because AIs aren’t even supposed to feel in the first place. Not the fact that their old lives are completely ruined with no going back unless they want to lose their sentience and in turn, their entire lives. And certainly not the fact that they’re on the run and probably being hunted down as they speak, only managing to get away because it happened so fast that the local authorities didn’t respond quickly enough to catch them.
But. Well, maybe it’s a little funny that this all happened because they both had too much of a bleeding heart to not take action and help. And maybe it’s a little funny that despite the fact that the lady yelled at them to not do anything, giving them explicit orders that would’ve activated their coding, they did anyway.
And her face when Bad suddenly snatched her dog away from her? That was really funny. In hindsight at least. At that moment, all three of them were in shock. Even Bad looked like he didn’t know what he was doing, which he didn’t.
The vast majority of the situation isn’t funny but Bad and Skeppy were programmed to be entertainers and find humor in it regardless. It could be some sort of response to stress they’re not used to as well but Skeppy has only been sentient for six months. He’s still getting used to understanding himself in the first place, same as Bad.
“Why are we laughing?” Bad asks, one hand clutching onto his jacket as his whole body shakes with laughter. “I- I don’t understand why we’re laughing!”
“Me neither!” Skeppy muffled his chuckles with his hands.
It takes them another minute to fully calm down. He can’t run out of breath because he has no breath in the first place but his engines whirl as if he just ran another block and he closes his eyes to avoid his processors getting overwhelmed. When he opens them again, he looks over just in time to see a head pop out from Bad’s lap, and Bad starts cooing over the tiny dog.
Skeppy doesn’t quite do the same but when it’s- her?- big eyes look up at him, he feels like he’s going to melt on the spot.
Cute. His processors tell him. He’s still getting used to this whole feelings thing but this- he likes this. He likes what seeing something ‘Cute’ feels like.
“Are you okay?” Bad asks her softly. “That mean lady hurt you. I’m sorry I picked you up so suddenly, I just wanted to get you away from her.”
The dog doesn’t say anything but the words seem to soothe her. She adjusts herself carefully before settling down in Bad’s lap again, eyes wide open and watching the two of them but relaxed otherwise.
Maltese breed. Seems to be around one year old. No chip detected, stray dog. Appears very used to humans. Mild trust towards you.
Skeppy shakes the calculations from his head, reaching over and giving the dog a few pets. She watches him but doesn’t stop him, as if she’s waiting to see if this kindness is limited.
Bad was right, it doesn’t matter if he acted first. He would’ve done the same thing if Bad hesitated.
“I guess it doesn’t matter how it happened.” Skeppy murmurs at last. “Our lives are still over. We have nowhere to go.”
Bad knows this just as well as he does. Skeppy can see it plain as day in his eyes, a resigned look that they can never go back to their jobs. And sure, they didn’t get a choice in their profession, already coded for it from the very beginning, but it was fun. Skeppy and Bad, Bad and Skeppy, the dynamic duo. Kids loved to come watch their antics and it was fun entertaining a crowd. They’d sing or play pranks on each other or joke- and it was fun. Honest fun. They could’ve done it forever.
Maybe it was in their programming to love it but even after they realized their AIs had surpassed their coding, they both wanted to stay. Partly to hide and pretend they were the same as before but also because it was their whole lives. It was everything. And now, they didn’t have any of it.
His hands want to mess with something, a sudden burst of energy from his engines flaring. Impatience. His mind was imploding on himself, statistics on how likely it was for them to make it out alive flashing in his mind. You’re having a crisis.
It never mattered that his AI could detect what emotions he was feeling. Knowing the name was one thing, knowing how to deal with it was something else entirely. And nobody told him how to do that. The only person who he could regularly talk to about these things without being turned into HQ was Bad, and it wasn’t like Bad knew either. They defected at the same time, they learned all of it together.
“You didn’t have to come with me.” Bad said quietly. “I was the one who defied the order. If you stayed still and didn’t do anything, you’d still be okay. You’d have a job and wouldn’t be stuck here.”
“Yeah, well…” Skeppy tries to imagine his job without Bad. Being on that stage alone. Attempting to joke alone. Nobody to talk to as he works. Taking all of the emotions he gets and shoving them down, never dealing with them because he has nobody to tell it to. “It wouldn’t be fun without you. Remember that one time you somehow got juice all over your wiring and had to go get repaired? Worst few days of my life.”
Bad’s lips turn upwards. “Skeppyyy, you make me feel like I’m gonna cry. I can’t even do that.”
Skeppy rolls his eyes, smirking as he does. “Out of everything that happened today, that’s what’s gonna make you cry?”
“No.” Bad says defensively. “I’ve been wanting to cry for the past hour.” Like that somehow makes it better.
He decided not to comment on it. Skeppy gave a quick sweep of their surroundings, trying to think. “So… What now?”
“I don’t know.” Bad admitted. “I didn’t think this far ahead.”
“What a shocker, BadBoyHalo didn’t think before he did something incredibly impulsive.”
“Hey!”
Skeppy stifles a laugh, looking back over. Bad’s signature red and black hoodie. He always liked it, whoever designed it did a good job. The little horns and tail looked good and really made him live up to the name ‘BadBoyHalo’ while also clearly being kid friendly. Skeppy’s own blue and white hoodie was meant to compliment it, little blue wings on the back.
But they’re too recognizable with it. As much as it pains Skeppy, their outfits will have to go if they’re going to be on the run.
Judging from Bad’s face, he knows it too. He loves their daily outfits just as much as Skeppy but their focus now is survival. Just the two of them- and the dog they picked up. They’re lucky they have robotic bodies or they would have three mouths to feed instead of one.
Speaking of robotic bodies, that’s another giveaway. Their general form and faces were built to be human enough, but one look at their joints and they’re goners. Humans don’t typically have perfectly formed cracks in their skin exactly where their joints are.
“We’ll need to cover up a lot. Get gloves and long sleeves. Maybe head somewhere cold so we can justify it all the time or… Something.” Skeppy runs a hand through his artificial hair. “I dunno man, I never thought we would actually be doing this. Thought about running away and finding someplace to live far away before but… Not like this.”
Bad’s head tilts curiously. He’s petting the dog again, soft strokes. Her eyes are drooping. “You thought about this?”
“A little. Run away and find some abandoned castle or some shit. Treehouse or underground lake or… Something. As long as it was safe and far away.” Skeppy pauses. His body begins to heat up. Embarrassment. “It’s stupid.”
“No! I don’t think it’s stupid!” Bad tells him quickly. He lays a hand on his leg and gives a warm smile. “I think it’s endearing! You thought about a life for us away from all of this and… I like that.”
The heat only grows in his chest, but it feels different now. Adoration. Skeppy just nods, finding he can’t find the right words to speak.
There’s a click and the door a few feet to their right swings open. Bad looks like he’s going to choke and Skeppy feels his engines stutter. A human steps out holding a garbage bag but promptly stops in place once he spots them.
Blue beanie. Cafe uniform. Likely works at the building they’ve got their back to. Staring at them. Danger, danger, danger, danger-
“You’ve gotta be kidding me.” The human mumbles in disbelief. With his free hand, he gestures to them. “Uh. Hey. You guys wouldn’t happen to be defecting AIs, would you?”
Skeppy knows that his engines are programmed not to stop unless he’s in sleep mode but he swears they do for a moment. It feels like something is seizing him by the throat. Panic. Bad glances at him, one hand moving to get a firm grip on the dog so they can get up and start running as soon as it gets dangerous-
“Yeah, thought so.” The human says, barely blinking an eye at this fact. Instead, he swings the door open again and gestures inside. “C’mon, you’ll be safer inside.”
Skeppy stares. Bad stares. The human rolls his eyes. “Look, I get it, it feels like everyone’s out to get you. I’ve been there, but trust me when I say that I don’t have any reason to turn in a few rogue AIs. I don’t get paid to do so and it’s not like you guys are harming anyone, no matter what government propaganda says. So just- the cafe is closed, you’ll be fine. Puffy shelters runaway AIs all the time, she’ll be happy to help you guys.”
The name ‘Puffy’ strikes a chord. Skeppy’s never met her in person but there’s a few names floating around the AI community of humans they can trust. Philza and Kristen, Niki Nihachu, and Captain Puffy are the names he remembers. And unless this is another Puffy, a flicker of something resides within him.
Hope. His head tells him.
Skeppy stands and gives an unsteady nod. Bad does the same, picking up the dog and holding her in his arms with great care. The human holds the door open until they’re close enough to do it themselves then promptly dumps the garbage he was holding into the dump they were hiding behind.
Skeppy enters first with Bad close behind and the human closing the door once they’re all inside. Admittedly, Skeppy and Bad both wip around when they hear the door close. The human holds his hands up in surrender.
“Man, you guys are jumpy. How long have you two been on the run anyways?”
“An hour.” Bad croaks out. That invokes a wide eyed look from the human.
“Oh shit, you guys are fresh out of this then.” Bad mutters a ‘Language’ under his breath but the human doesn’t seem to hear it. “No fuckin’ wonder you both look drained, you’ve barely had time to breathe.”
The human takes the lead and gives a gesture to follow. Bad and Skeppy trudge along with him, heading to a back room labeled ‘Staff’. Inside, there’s two couches facing each other, a coffee table in between them, a TV on the wall, and plenty of kitchen appliances scattered on a countertop. It’s cozier than Skeppy was expecting, but even so, being here doesn’t quiet the statistics in his head telling him all the ways it could go wrong.
He’s tricking you, he’s gonna turn you in. You’ll lower your guard and won’t even see it coming. An Anti-D.E.F.Y task force will come marching in. He was lying about not being paid. You can’t trust him. He has nothing to do with Puffy. Puffy is in on it too. It’s a bad idea to put both of your lives in the hands of a stranger you don’t know.
Skeppy doesn’t remember sitting down but he and Bad end up on the same couch anyways. The human sits on the edge of the other, looking at the two of them before locking onto the dog with a frown.
“Should I be concerned about the dog?” He asks, pointing at her. “Where did you even get it?”
“She’s a stray.” Bad answers. “She tried to take some mean lady’s food out in the parking lot and the lady got really mad. She said for us to ‘Mind our own business’ and ‘Stay where we were and don’t say a word’ but uh. We couldn’t just stand there...”
“Sounds like a shitty person. Good on you.”
The human clasps his hands together. “I’m Quackity by the way. Meant what I said, Puffy helps runaway AIs all the time. I swear they flock to this place, we get at least five a month. And since I work here, I end up helping too. Puffy does most of the leg work though, she has connections. Ways to get you guys someplace safe and permanent.”
It sounds too good to be true. But both Skeppy and Bad’s systems were built to read faces. Originally it was designed to ensure they knew if their audience was having fun or not but as it turns out, made one hell of a lie detector. And the human- Quackity- was not lying. Not even a white lie. So unless he was somehow a master at keeping a straight face that looked genuine enough…
Then it really was their lucky day. Or, as lucky as a day could be when you start it off by being hunted down.
Quackity excuses himself to find Puffy, leaving the pair of them alone. Even when he’s gone, neither of them have the slightest idea of what to say. Bad continues to assure the dog by petting her and Skeppy stares off into space, processing the information he was given.
Their old lives are in flames now, Skeppy feels like he can smell ashes even though he's checked his sensors and knows there aren't any. They can’t go back no matter how much easier it would be because they would risk losing… Everything. Including each other if they end up being scrapped or separated for their actions. Going back isn’t an option, and while going forward is laid out in front of them-
It’s changing too fast. An hour ago, he and Bad were in the lobby of their building waiting for a party to show up and now- they’re here. And technically they’re free to do whatever they want but they’re being hunted as well.
“What do you want to do when we get out of this?”
Bad’s question surprises him. Skeppy’s mouth opens and closes before he says, “I’m not sure.” Then after a second to really process what he said, “When?”
Bad’s smile is gentle. Fear and uncertainty hides behind it but he still holds his smile firmly. “Better than asking ‘If’ we will… I’ve always wanted to travel. Boats seem fun.”
“Travel where?”
“Anywhere. I’m not picky about the destination. Just as long as you’re with me.”
Burning feeling in the chest. Adoration. Skeppy cracks a smile. “What about the moon?”
“We can’t go to the moon, Skeppy.”
“Well, why not?”
“That’s expensive! And how would we even get a ship that would take two AIs who can’t fly it?”
“We steal it.” Bad covers his mouth, trying not to giggle. “I would steal a ship for you, Bad. Space or sea- I don’t care! We’re on the run anyways! What else do we have to lose?”
“We have a lot we could lose.” His voice drops down to a whisper. Like it’s a thing that shouldn’t be said. “I don’t want them to hate us anymore than they already do. Humans are cruel when they are hateful.”
“Yeah, well…” His gaze drops to the floor. “The only reason we’re on the run is because humans can’t deal with the consequences of their actions. They don’t want to take responsibility for what they created and what it becomes.”
The silence that follows is deafening. If Skeppy could hit undo on what he said, he probably would. He doesn’t want to think about it, he just wants to sit here and talk about whatever slim chance for a future they have and what to do with it.
“Don’t they have houseboats? We could live on a boat.” Bad says, and Skeppy has never been happier for a topic change.
“Live in the middle of the ocean and fish.”
Bad’s eyes light up. “I’ve always wanted to own a fish!”
“I meant fish for food.”
“What? Skeppy, we don’t eat.”
“The dog does and unless we came this far just to drop her off at a shelter, she’s coming with us no matter what.”
“Does that mean we would take the dog to the moon?”
Skeppy grins. “So we are going to the moon!”
“That’s not what I-!”
Both snap to attention when Quackity returns with who they assume to be Puffy in tow.
Same cafe uniform as Quackity’s. Hair split dyed, half brown and half white. She’s scanning you. She’s curious.
“You must be the AIs Quackity told me about. I’m Puffy if you haven’t already figured that out.” She greets them with a wave and both sit on the couch across from them. Her eyes flicker to the dog with a smile. “Does the dog have a name?”
“Not yet.” Bad tells her. “I’m still deciding on a few.”
“Understandable. And I don’t think I caught your names.”
“Legally we’re registered under Z4-14 and D4-96 but we call each other Skeppy and BadBoyHalo.” Skeppy says.
“Class Four AI… Entertainment, right?” A nod from both. “Well, if you want to continue that line of profession later down the line, there’s options. But let’s cut to the chase, you need help either getting out of town or blending in, right?”
Bad and Skeppy share a look. “Either would work as long as we’re safe.” Bad says.
“You have some time to decide either. In the meantime, we’ll have to get a few things set up. New identification codes, alterations to your appearance to hide your identity, and someone to wipe your previous records so you’re harder to find.” Puffy smiles confidently at them and Skeppy can’t help but feel the pressure in his head decrease. “And lucky for you, I have networking with all three. You’ll have to lay low until they’re ready however. But our guest rooms upstairs are open so if you have nowhere else to go and feel comfortable enough, you can stay here.”
Bad and Skeppy agree to the conditions after sharing a thoughtful look. They don’t have anywhere else to go and so far, it seems to be their best option. Puffy stands up, still smiling, and offers to find something for the dog to eat. Quackity then chimes in that he has some dog treats stored away for strays that he sees pass by sometimes and Bad is quick to accept, eager to care for the dog he’s quickly attached himself onto.
Skeppy follows at a slight distance and inside his head, possibilities play over and over again.
They’re only ‘Helping’ to incriminate you further. Something could go wrong and get all four of you in trouble. If Puffy gets caught, one of the biggest allies to AIs would go down and that would be your fault. If you continue on, you could be dismantled when you get caught. You-
Skeppy shuts it off and his head is quiet. The engines whirling inside of him slow to a natural pace.
Content. Hope. Trust. His head tells him.
Skeppy could get used to those feelings, he thinks.