Chapter Text
It all started on a day that shouldn’t have made a difference at all. Just a typical boring day. Bo-Katan found herself barely paying attention in class. Like her nephew, Korkie, she went to the Royal Academy. Unlike Korkie and her sister before her, Bo-Katan wasn’t an A plus student in anything except history. History she loved because it was stories about Mandalore’s past glories. Sometimes she found herself daydreaming of what it would be like to live in such a time. What it would be like to be Tarre Vizsla who united all the clans of Mandalore. Sometimes she just imagined what it would be like to grow up in a Mandalore that wasn’t a pacifist society like Satine had it be.
And Bo-Katan did argue with her sister about politics all the time actually. But in the end, it never made a difference. Satine never listened to anything Bo-Katan said. Satine wanted Mandalore to be peaceful and so that was what it was.
Bo-Katan rolled her eyes at the very thought of it. But at least she knew that Satine had good intentions.
Anyway, that day the teacher assigned a family history project. Yawn. Should be easy enough or so Bo-Katan thought. All she would have to do was go into the history of Clan Kryze. She’d probably do well just by mentioning her sister in it.
But as Bo-Katan was leaving that day, her teacher grabbed her arm. Bo-Katan pulled away and rolled her green eyes. She didn’t like when people just reached out and touched her like this.
“You better put forth an effort on this, Miss Kryze,” her teacher said. This teacher always called her Miss Kryze even though usually her teachers called her “Bo-Katan.” Where as people who Satine spent time with called Bo-Katan “Lady Kryze” even though she was only fourteen and hardly felt like much of a lady. “Just mentioning your sister won’t work.”
“What if I brought her in?” Bo-Katan asked, but she would never ever do that. Satine would find a way to embarrass her. She always did. And she didn’t get why some people wanted to speak to Satine so much, even if she was the Duchess of Mandalore.
“That’s not going to work, Miss Kryze,” she sighed. “You really need to apply yourself more to your studies.”
And for awhile she went on about that, almost making Bo-Katan late for her next class. Bo-Katan could say if anything this made her push the assignment back longer, but really she always waited until the assignment was close to being due to work on them.
But before she knew it, it was the night before it was due. Bo-Katan thought the whole thing would be easy, but it turned out she needed photos. Not like holoimages, but actual photos. And she needed to make a family tree and everything. Bo-Katan didn’t have the whole Clan Kryze history memorized.
Yes, she had a lot of it memorized, but not all of it.
Satine might have the rest of it memorized and she’d know where the photos were, but she was gone doing some political work. Political work… Bo-Katan was glad she wasn’t going to be a politician like her.
“Bo, you should play a game with me,” Korkie said as Bo-Katan stared at her assignment on her datapad.
Bo-Katan was supposed to be watching him instead of staying at the Royal Academy like she normally did. Yes, there were guardians around the palace, but she was still supposed to make sure he didn’t do something stupid like light himself on fire or shoot himself with a blaster. Not that Satine knew about all Bo-Katan’s blasters that she may or may not have hidden in her room.
“I can’t,” Bo-Katan said with a sigh. Korkie could be annoying, but right now she would have preferred to be able to play with the kid. Even though Satine wouldn’t like it, she would try and teach Korkie to be a good shot like she was. She just couldn’t do it as much as she would like.
She couldn’t even practice herself as much as she would like.
“Why not?” Korkie asked.
“I have to work on a project,” Bo-Katan said with a sigh.
Korkie pouted, but Bo-Katan ignored it. She looked around the main part of the living area for pictures or something that would work for the stupid project, but even though she found a family tree, she didn’t find any pictures. She needed her birth certificate too. For some reason her teacher wanted them to put details from their birth like when they were born. Why? She didn’t know.
She looked around for the birth certificate and photos and found nothing.
“Whatcha looking for, Bo?” Korkie asked. He was now reading a book. He was smart and was always reading. Another way he was like Satine when Bo-Katan wasn’t.
“Photos and my birth certificate,” Bo-Katan said.
“Auntie Satine might have it in the attic,” Korkie said. He didn’t even look up from it at first but then he did and smiled. He looked so much like Satine, whereas Bo-Katan didn’t look like anyone. Both her parents had passed away but she didn’t even look like them. People told her that she looked like her father, but she didn’t know if that was true.
“Yeah, she might,” Bo-Katan said, shrugging her shoulders. It was worth a look.
“I’ll go with you,” Korkie said, sitting his book down. Bo-Katan thought about telling him no, but she let him come with her.
As soon as they got in the attic, Bo-Katan started to look for photos and her birth certificate while Korkie messed around. At first, she couldn’t find anything. Nothing of value anyway. Just old pictures and documents. Nothing that she could use. Where was her birth certificate? What had Satine done with it?
And then Bo-Katan found a box buried behind all the others. As soon as she opened it, she saw Satine’s birth certificate. The original one. Not the one that had clearly just been reprinted over and over again. But Bo-Katan didn’t need this. She kept digging around. There were some really weird pictures. She pulled one. It was Satine alone, holding her stomach, and she looked… pregnant? But that was impossible. Satine had never been pregnant.
“Look what I found, Bo!” Korkie said, trying to show her an old book. She should have said something, but she didn’t and just waved him off.
Satine… She couldn’t really be pregnant, but if she had been… she looked over at Korkie. He looked so much like her so maybe… but no… that just wasn’t possible.
But maybe.
But probably not.
Bo-Katan kept digging around the box and then she found it. And it shouldn’t have mattered. It should have said what the copies said. If it had said that… then everything would have been good. Nothing would have changed.
The galaxy would have stayed the same. Everything could have been the same. She could have continued being Satine’s slightly rebellious sister, but still loyal to her. She would have stayed by her sister’s side. Her heir. Everything would have been how it was meant to be.
But the birth certificate was so wrong. So wrong.
There was Bo-Katan’s name. Bo-Katan Kryze. The time of birth and her weight were listed there too. Her little footprint was there too as well as where she had been born. But then… it wasn’t like it was supposed to be. It was so wrong.
Bo-Katan couldn’t breathe. She dropped it on the ground. How could this be? This had to be wrong? It had to be! She had seen the copies… The copies… The copies that would have been changed to reflect adoption or… or…
She was going to be sick.
“Bo!” Korkie said.
Bo stared at him. She couldn’t find any words. This… It just… Why? This had to be wrong. It had to be! She would have been told!
“Bo!” Korkie tried to reach out to her, but she shoved him away. She didn’t want anyone to touch her. She couldn’t be touched. Korkie stared at her and then ran way so fast. He could tell something was horribly wrong. Normally Bo-Katan wouldn’t want to hurt him, but now… but now…
Wasn’t everything a lie?
This birth certificate… how could it say such lies?
Bo-Katan didn’t know how long she sat there just staring at it, but then the door opened behind her. Right away, she just knew it was Satine.
“Bo-Katan,” Satine said, even her voice sounded different. She had to know even if Korkie didn’t. She had to just sense it. “Are you—”
“Why does this say such lies?!” Bo-Katan yelled, spinning around to face her sister. Her face was wet, which Bo-Katan normally would have hated. She didn’t cry. She was strong. A good Mandalorian. Right now she didn’t care. “Why would it say this?”
Satine should deny it. She should have some kind of explanation, but it almost made sense. Bo-Katan was so different. She thought it was just because she was a more traditional Mandalorian, but no… no… no…
“Bo-Katan, I can explain.” She came over to her. Growing up, Bo-Katan always wanted to be near her sister. She had been the only one who could understand her. She would cuddle up close to Satine and she would tell her the most wonderful stories, and more importantly she would make her feel safe when nothing else did.
Now it all seemed like lies.
“This is wrong?” Bo-Katan asked. “This is wrong…”
“Bo, I…” Satine sighed and shook her head.
“Isn’t it? Tell me it’s wrong, Satine. We’re sisters!”
Sisters… Sisters…
Sisters?
“Bo, it’s…” She took her hands. They were so cold right now and Bo-Katan wanted to pull away so much and yet…
Bo-Katan forced herself to pull away from her.
“Just tell me the truth…” Bo-Katan knew she had to get this out. She pointed at the birth certificate. The certificate that told the lies. “It says… It says…”
“It’s not a lie,” Satine said after a long silence. “I’m so sorry-Bo—”
“What?! You’re saying… you’re saying that you’re my…” Bo-Katan should have yelled it but she could barely get it out. “You’re my mother.”
Satine… Not her sister. Satine… Her mother? Her mother. Her mother. Her mother. Not sister.
Bo-Katan was going to be sick. So sick.
Satine pulled her close to her. She smelled like flowers and right now it made Bo-Katan want to throw up. “I’m so sorry. I wanted to tell you before. Mother and I thought it would be better this way. Better for you.”
For Bo-Katan?
“You could have a more normal childhood,” Satine said, almost as if she was telling herself this and not Bo-Katan. “You would be happier.”
No. No. No.
“No!” Bo-Katan didn’t even mean to say it. It just slid out. Bo-Katan shoved her sister away. She didn’t want her touching her.
Her… sister?
“It says… it says… It says you’re my mother.”
There. There it was. Satine should deny it. She should say that it wasn’t true. That it was wrong somehow. That all of this was wrong.
“I’m… I love you so much, Bo-Katan. I knew this would be best for you and Mandalore. You know how important Mandalore is and if… And if I had raised you as my daughter… It wouldn’t have been good for you. You’ve been happy, and when our mother was alive, she was a better parent than I would have been at the time.” Satine tried to grab Bo-Katan’s hands but Bo-Katan stumbled backward. She fell, landing among the boxes. Satine let out a cry. “Are you okay, Bo?!”
Bo-Katan couldn’t even move. “I… I…”
Satine looked at Bo-Katan’s hand which was bleeding. How was it bleeding? Then she saw the glass shattered on the floor. Bo-Katan hadn’t even felt it when it happened. Even now she didn’t feel any pain.
Satine took her hands and actually pulled off her jacket to stop the bleeding. “It’s okay, we’ll—”
“You lied to me!” Bo-Katan said finally finding her words. “I thought… I thought you were my sister, but you’re my…” Mother… She was her mother. Stars! The woman Bo-Katan thought was her mother had a lot of flaws, but she had loved her and now she found out that she hadn’t even been her mother.
It had all been lies. What was Korkie then? Bo-Katan knew that some people thought he was Satine’s. Was he Satine’s too? Was everything Bo-Katan thought a lie?
“Bo—”
“Who is my father?!” Bo-Katan asked, pulling away from her sister… Sister… What a joke? She tossed the jacket on the floor. “Who’s my father, Satine?”
She was almost afraid to hear what the answer was. And maybe it didn’t matter.
“He… I’ll tell you. I can tell you everything, ad’ika, but—”
“Don’t call me that!” She always thought Satine meant little one when she said that, but maybe she meant its other meaning. Daughter. Daughter.
Daughter.
“I should have told you before,” Satine said. “I—“
“Who is my father?!” Bo-Katan yelled. Her voice hurt. Her blood was dripping on the floor. Splat. She didn’t care.
“He’s… He was a Jedi who I was close with during the war and—”
“A Jedi?!” This couldn’t be. Bo-Katan couldn’t believe this. Jedi were the enemy. She was half Jedi? She was going to be sick. She clutched her stomach. No! No! No!
“He would have loved you, Bo-Katan. He will love you. You remind me of him. You’re so sassy and good at combat and—”
“I’m Mandalorian! I’m good at combat because I’m Mandalorian!” Not because of her… No! She wouldn’t call him her father. She might not have ever had a father, but this… Jedi would never be that. She was Mandalorian and Mandalorians weren’t part Jedi. No! No! No!
“Yes, you are, but you—”
“I’m not like him! I’m not like a nasty Jedi!”
“Bo-Katan, it’s… I’m sorry… I know this is a lot, but… your fath—”
“He’s not my father!” Bo-Katan yelled, even though she had just asked who he was. He wasn’t really. She couldn’t be part Jedi. What kind of Mandalorian was? And why was everything that she had known a horrible lie?
What kind of Mandalorian was she if she was part Jedi?
“He’s… Bo-Katan, I really am sorry,” Satine said. “I want to explain everything to you. It’s… Maybe it will help you make sense of this.”
Bo-Katan stared at her. How could she even say things like this?
“I just want you to know that I’m sorry and I love you so much,” Satine said. Her voice actually broke. She didn’t even sound like Satine. “I want to explain everything to you and I will. When you calm down—”
“When I calm down?! So this is my fault!?”
“Of course not—”
“You think it is! You didn’t… you didn’t even want me to be your daughter.” Bo-Katan hadn’t planned to say that, but it was right. And why would Satine want her? She wasn’t peaceful like her. She was a weird half Jedi half Mandalorian spawn. How could such a thing even exist? No wonder she didn’t want her.
“No, Bo-Katan. I did want you. Your father would have al—”
“I’m not part Jedi!”
But Bo-Katan knew it was true now. Maybe this was why she always felt so alone. Maybe it was because there was something wrong with her. Maybe she wasn’t even a real Mandalorian.
No… She was. She had to be. She would make sure she was. She’d be a good Mandalorian even if her biological…. She wouldn’t even think the word father. She’d make sure she was a good Mandalorian.
“You’re not a Jedi,” Satine said. “You’re a Mandalorian, like me.”
“I’m not like you!”
No, Bo-Katan was instead some kind of freak. But she wanted to be a good Mandalorian. A good traditional Mandalorian. Could she even be that? Her stomach twisted.
“Bo-Katan, it’s… I’m really…”
“Just leave me alone! I can’t believe this… I can’t believe that I…” Her cheeks were wet. That was when she realized she was crying. Now she couldn’t believe that she hadn’t noticed. “I thought… I thought…”
Everything she knew was fake. It was all a lie. Everything.
A lie.
Satine paused but then nodded. “If you need me, I’ll be downstairs.”
Bo-Katan just glared at her. How dare she? How could she have done something like this? The Jedi were the enemy and now… was Bo-Katan an enemy? No, no, she would prove that she was a good Mandalorian. She would be a good Mandalorian.
But how could Satine do this? How could she have lied to her? She had trusted her more than anyone.
And this just showed where trust could get you.