Chapter Text
9:35AM, 20th Aug
Unknown number: yo makki
Unknown number: ya know what time it izzz
Unknown number: it's time 4 deez
Iwaizumi: Deez what?
Unknown number: omfg DEEZ NUTS BOZOOO
Unknown number: makki i cannot believe u walked right into that lmaoo
Iwaizumi: ... You got the wrong number
Unknown number: oh
Unknown number: then i cannot believe u walked right into that lmaooo
Read 9:38AM
Unknown number: don't be fucking rude ᕙ༼=ݓ益ݓ=༽ᕗ
Iwaizumi: I wasn't going to reply
Iwaizumi: ..but your choice of emoticon intrigues me
Unknown number: why? cuz it's so cute like me? (^・ω・^ )
Iwaizumi: Unless your eyes look like a pair of saggy tits then
Iwaizumi: Yeah, it probably is charming like you
Unknown number: how RUDE of you, i'm the most beautiful person EVER
Iwaizumi: Listen, when I say I like milfs (specifically your mom)
Iwaizumi: I didn't mean I would be attracted to saggy tits faced ppl (specifically you)
Unknown number: omfg
Unknown number: DIE
Unknown number: I CANNOT
Unknown number: ok that was rlly good ngl like wow i'm impressed
Iwaizumi: Thanks, I try my best
Unknown number: i need to up my games now, just so you wait =͟͟͞͞( •̀д•́)))
Iwaizumi: Stop texting me though, don't you got anything else to do?
Unknown number: aside from ya mom then nah
Iwaizumi: You-
Iwaizumi: You really wasn't lying when you said you were going to step up aren't you
Unknown number: (o≧▽ﾟ)o
Unknown number: well
Unknown number: i do aim for the best
Unknown number: ig thats why tobio-chan is so scared of me <3333
Iwaizumi: Tobio-chan?
Unknown number: oh
Unknown number: just this annoying prodigy kid loll
Iwaizumi: I can't tell if he really is annoying or just because you're a shitty person
Unknown number: HEY!! you barely know meeeee (╬•᷅д•᷄╬)
Iwaizumi: Yeah I got lucky because you're probably even more annoying irl
Unknown number: indeed you got lucky bc if u see me irl
Unknown number: p sure u will fall head over heels 4 me
Iwaizumi: I was right
Unknown number: abt what?
Unknown number: omg wow did u alrd fall in love w me
Unknown number: that's a new record holy i will have to brag abt this w makki
Iwaizumi: You really ARE annoying
Unknown number: (◎益◎;)
Unknown number: stfu
Unknown number: but u know wat
Unknown number: im rich n im pretty
Unknown number: so it doesn't rlly matters ¯\_( ◉ 3 ◉ )_/¯
Iwaizumi: My god
Iwaizumi: How do this Makki friend of yours can even keep up with you
Unknown number: basically bc im a blessing to him ofc <33
Unknown number: u will understand when u meet me :>>
Iwaizumi: I'm not meeting you
Iwaizumi: You might even be a stalker for all I know
Unknown number: do u rlly think a stalker would pull a deez nuts joke
Iwaizumi: I mean yeah you're a living proof
Unknown number: ಠ_ಠ COME ONNNN AT LEAST GIMME YOUR NAME
Iwaizumi: No
Unknown number: WHYYYYYYYYY
Iwaizumi: You're a stranger
Unknown number: i mean we talked for 10 mins
Unknown number: n u know my name
Unknown number: so r we rllllyyyyy strangers?
Iwaizumi: ???
Iwaizumi: I don't know your name?
Unknown number: the name is oikawa ◟ʕ´∀`ʔ◞
Unknown number: HAH so now that u know smthg abt me
Unknown number: it would only b fair if i know ur name too
Iwaizumi: Shut up that doesn’t count
Iwaizumi: But, Oikawa?
Unknown number: what abt it
Iwaizumi: Just sounds very familiar that's all
Oikawa: u can say that
Oikawa: im pretty popular so
Oikawa: ʕっ˘ڡ˘ςʔ
Iwaizumi: Did I just
Iwaizumi: Boosted your enormous ego
Unknown number: welllllll
Iwaizumi: You know what I planned to put your contact as Oikawa but it's going to be Shittykawa now
Shittykawa: omg nicknames already?? im so flattered “:♡.•♬✧⁽⁽ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ⁾⁾*+:•*∴
Read 9:48AM
Shittykawa: HEY COME ON NOW
Shittykawa: I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SAVE UR CONTACTTTTTTT
Shittykawa: FIRST NAME AT LEASTTTT PLSSSSS
Read 9:50AM
Shittykawa: fine u stubborn little rock
Shittykawa: u would tell me when the time comes
Shittykawa: no 1 can reject the charming oikawa anyways ♡ଘ( ˊᵕˋ )ଓ
Read 9:52AM
6:35PM 20th Aug
Shittykawa: omfg so like
Shittykawa: i was in the campus cafe right
Shittykawa: n there is this
Shittykawa: pretty guy who jus looked straight @ me (his face was like stone cold omg)
Shittykawa: I WAS SO FCKING SCARED LIKE TF DID I DO
Iwaizumi: I don’t know who the guy is but I like him already
Shittykawa: HEY UR SUPPOSED TO HELP ME OUT
Iwaizumi: No thanks, I’d rather watch you suffer
Shittykawa: ALWAYS SO MEAN 4 NUN
Shittykawa: hmmm n e ways i dont think he is from seijoh though
Shittykawa: he is pretty but i don’t recognize him like at all
Shittykawa: i think he is waiting 4 some1
Iwaizumi: You go to Seijoh?
Shittykawa: yuhhh got here by a sports scholarship ( ˘ ³˘) ♥︎
Iwaizumi: What year are you in?
Shittykawa: nope not telling ya
Shittykawa: well
Shittykawa: unless u tell me ur name ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Iwaizumi: Smart but
Iwaizumi: No
Shittykawa: COME ON I ALMOST HAD IT
Shittykawa: this is so unfair u kno so much abt me like im still saving ur contact as deez nuts guy
Iwaizumi: What the actual fuck
Iwaizumi: Deez nuts guy???? Are you shitting w me rn
Shittykawa: ( ・ ω ・ ) ノ well wat am i supposed to set it as
Shittykawa: mayb yo mama guy?? :3
Iwaizumi: SHUT THE FUCK
Iwaizumi: Change it
Iwaizumi: CHANGE IT NOW
Shittykawa: <33 oki yo mama guy it is
Iwaizumi: I hate you so fucking much
Iwaizumi: Im blocking u
Shittykawa: do it then yo mama guy （ ╹◡╹ ）
Shittykawa: do ittttt
Iwaizumi: ...
Iwaizumi: The name is Iwa
Shittykawa: iwa??????? full name pls :P
Iwaizumi: No. Iwa is way too much already
Shittykawa: what.
Shittykawa: WAIT AE YOU FR RN
Shittykawa: YOU FICKING SUCKS
Shittykawa: ALL THAT EFFORT FOR 3 LETTERS
Shittykawa: OH YOU GO DIE
Read 6:57PM
Shittykawa: FINE SUIT YOUR SELF IWACHAN
Shittykawa: ಠ _ ಠ
Iwa-chan <3: What did you just call me?
Shittykawa: iwachan :3 its cute isnt it
Iwa-chan <3: No. Stop calling me that
Shittykawa: such a brute iwa chan, riling u up was pretty fun tho
Shittykawa: but i supposed riding u would be even better (о´ ∀ `о)
Iwa-chan<3: No what did you just say???
Iwa-chan<3: WHAT IS WRONG W U OH MY GOD
Iwa-chan<3: You’re literally unbelievable why am I even texting you
Shittykawa: wow triple text from iwa-chan i cannot believe my eyes
Shittykawa: ik u like me but don’t be so obsessed iwachan we barely know each otherrrr (〃ω〃)
Iwa-chan<3: Your personality is ass
Shittykawa: <3 ik
Shittykawa: what r u doin btw iwachan
Shittykawa: im at the cafe rn like i mentioned
Iwa-chan<3: well im doing college works, practicing spiking, your mom n your sister, and a thesis
Shittykawa: OH WOW
Shittykawa: WHOA WHOA I CANT BELIEVE I FALL FOR THAT LMAOOO
Iwa-chan<3: Well you did set yourself up after all
Shittykawa: lolll
Shittykawa: btw r u a guy (i mean i think u r but jus asking to be sure)
Iwa-chan<3: Yes
Shittykawa: same
Read 7:04PM
10:34PM, 20th Aug
Iwa-chan<3: You go to Seijoh right?
Shittykawa: yuss, wow texting me this late tho
Iwa-chan<3: Stfu.
Iwa-chan<3: So do you perhaps know a girl names Oikawa Taro?
Shittykawa: taro...?
Iwa-chan<3: Well not exactly like Taro, Toro or Toru something
Iwa-chan<3: My volleyball team captain talks about her all the time
Shittykawa: .. uh no idea who that is
Shittykawa: wait YOU PLAY VOLLEYBALL??
Iwa-chan<3: Yes? What’s so surprising?
Shittykawa: I PLAY VOLLEYBALL TOO!!
Shittykawa: setter actually （＾ ∇ ＾）
Shittykawa: what position r u in??
Iwa-chan<3: Wing spiker
Iwa-chan<3: I used to be an ace in high school but since Kyotech volleyball is so intense, I barely get on the court though
Shittykawa: kyotech...
Shittykawa: im guessing..
Shittykawa: your captain is ushiwaka-chan isn’t it
Iwa-chan<3: Ushiwaka?? You mean Ushijima?
Shittykawa: yes ushiwaka jima whatever his name is
Shittykawa: so
Shittykawa: he is the one who talks non-stop abt this Oikawa Taro girl????!!??!?!? ʕʘ‿ʘʔ
Iwa-chan<3: You don’t sound very fond of him...
Iwa-chan<3: But yes, we always hear how she should’ve set his ball or something
Iwa-chan<3: I think the girl would’ve been like insanely good
WHY DOES USHIWAKA STILL TALK ABOUT ME. that fucking bitch. iwa-chan is so cute tho, why does he has to suffer under Ushiwaka. Oikawa thinks to himself.
Shittykawa: uuhhhh yeah maybe idk lol
Iwa-chan<3: ...Okay?
Shittykawa: n e ways I'm abt to head to sleep
Iwa-chan<3: This early?
Shittykawa: excuse YOu
Shittykawa: some of us need our beauty sleep okay
Shittykawa: your ugly ass probably can't relate so whuteve
Iwa-chan<3: Has anyone told you that you are trash?
Shittykawa: well at least ppl take me out :333
Iwa-chan<3: Just go to fucking sleep my god
Shittykawa: so salty 4 no reason
Shittykawa: night iwachan <333333333333333333
Iwa-chan<3: Night.
Read 11:03PM