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rule #1 dont fucking let wilbur drive
rule #2 tommy is not allowed to have the aux. Ever (he will play 100 gecs for 10 hours straight)
rule #3 if techno picks where they stop to eat it will always be arbys (dont ask why hes american)
rule #4 techno and tommy dont sit together for more than 2 hours. Tommy will die
rule #5 phil and techno are the only ones allowed to drive
rule #6 if they choose to stay in a hotel techno and tommy are not allowed to share a room. Tommy will die
rule #7 if wilbur starts singing the same song more than three times in a row, tommy will start swinging
rule #8 phil isn’t allowed to play music either (he will play obscure showtunes) (hes old)
rule #9 techno isnt allowed to drive anymore he saw a dog and almost crashed into a tree
rule #10 letting wilbur drive in place of techno was a mistake. They all Almost Died
rule #11 wilbur fell asleep. tommy put gummy worms in his hair. Tommy died
rule #12 dont even let wilbur touch the car keys. Tommy is in the trunk.
rule #13 bad luck
rule #69 hahahah funny sex number 😎😎😎
rule #15 dont show phil memes while he’s driving. he will crash
rule #16 one time tommy showed phil a picture of a bottom text meme and now tommy isn’t allowed to sit shotgun
rule #17 they are definitely in a mini van
rule #18 oh god oh fuck phil is a suburban white dad
rule #19 tommy has called phil a soccer mom before. Tommy died.
rule #20 subscribe to technoblade
rule #21 wilbur isnt allowed to eat corn nuts anymore because he choked on one and techno had to perform the heimlich
rule #22 no wilbur sand does not count as a snack
rule #23 wilbur please stop eating sand
rule #24 wilbur please people are staring
rule #25 wilbur please now tommy is eating dirt
rule #26 tommy isn’t allowed to eat mud anymore because phil cried
rule #27 when either of them go outside they have to be supervised
rule #28 update techno supervision doesnt work he got distracted by a dog
rule #29 tommy definitely does not remember any of these
rule #30 no tommy we cannot keep the child we found in a box on the side of the road
rule #31 update. we kept the child tommy found in a box on the side of the road. his name is tubbo
rule #32 tommy thought it was funny to give wilbur some more sand. Tubbo is confused.
rule #33 wilbur STOP EATING SAND
rule #34 when phil is sleeping, dont wake him up unless someone (tommy) died. The man is tired (he is old)
rule #35 Tommy died
rule #36 tommy isn’t allowed to wear wilbur’s noise cancelling headphones anymore he keeps yelling and techno is 🤏 this close to strangling him
rule #37 phil is starting to wonder why he thought this was a good idea. its been 2 days.
rule #38 wilbur said he has a friend in the next town over and techno is scared because it could be either 1. niki or 2. schlatt
rule #39 it was schlatt.
rule #40 techno is no longer allowed anywhere near schlatts house. He tried to burn it down.
rule #41 how did techno burn his house down he was nowhere ne-
rule #42 techno why do you have a gun
rule #43 TECHNO PUT THE GUN DOWN
rule #44 schlatt died.
rule #46 wilbur’s friend niki lives in the next next town over. technoblade does not commit a murder
rule #47 niki is allowed to drive
rule #48 niki is the most sane one here
rule #49 niki can somehow entertain wilbur and tommy at the same time. phil is convinced she is not real
rule #50 niki braids technos hair when wilbur is too tired. Techno thinks maybe shes not the worst.
rule #51 techno is literally a tsundere
rule #52 niki’s allowed to have the aux whenever she plays good music
rule #53 tommy and techno both want to go mess with this guy named dream?? Wilbur went because he thought it was funny. Phils worried. Tubbo saw a bee. Tommy died
rule #54 tommy isnt allowed to leave the car anymore unless hes under niki or phil’s supervision
rule #55 neither is wilbur
rule #56 phil is wondering what the fastest way home is.
rule #57 tommy tried to steal techno’s bugles. Tommy died
rule #58 tubbo trapped a bee in a jar. techno won’t let him come in the car with it
rule #59 tubbo got sad. Phil felt bad and let him in
rule #60 THE BEE IS LOOSE
rule #61 niki keeps making gay jokes and now everyone is uncomfortable
rule #62 wilburs bi lol
rule #63 whenever nikis gay jokes make the gang uncomfortable wilbur laughs, fistbumps her, and goes “nice”
rule #64 niki played rules by doja and rapped everything perfectly now the gang is slightly scared of her abilities
rule #65 techno might possibly also know all the lyrics. Unsure
rule #66 wilbur and niki definitely sang cyber sex together at least once
rule #67 tommy is scared of niki
rule #68 tubbo thinks niki is so goddamn cool
rule #69 nice
rule #70 phil is definitely going to be emotionally scarred after this
rule #71 wilbur found a furry on the street. he calls him fundy and has also adopted him. phil is confused, tired, and needs to remove himself from this family immediately (hes too old for this)
rule #72 wilbur thinks dreams hot. he wants to get pizza with him sometime.
rule #73 techno is so confused
rule #74 phil is tired of driving
rule #75 techno is allowed to drive again. for One day. while phil sleeps
rule #76 techno almost caused a car crash, saying something about a blood god?
rule #77 technos not allowed to drive again
rule #78 niki is still allowed to drive, however, wilbur and tommy both need to be asleep because she’s the only one who can control them. ever.
rule #79 tommy got a hangnail
rule #80 he wont stop screaming and techno is trying to sleep
rule #81 Tommy died
rule #82 wilbur ripped off tommys hangnail. hes fine now
rule #83 tommy found a moth in the back of the car. he named it clementine
rule #84 techno is so goddamn confused
rule #85 tubbo brought another bee into the car and named it spunz
rule #86 wilbur met up with a friend named charlie and now they’re roleplaying as fish?? techno heard something about fussy and tuned them out
rule #87 tommy started talking about how many girlfriends he has again. Everyone is annoyed. Tommy died.
rule #88 wilbur found charlie again?? now they’re roleplaying as bees and the queen is dead. there’s nothing to live for
rule #89 wilbur asked dream to go get pizza. Apparently dream is dating some twink named george? Wilburs crushed
rule #90 wilbur wont stop playing sad music. Mostly from some lorde album from 2017??
rule #91 niki informs phil these songs are called ‘liability’ ‘supercut’ ‘sober ii’ and ‘writer in the dark.’ he is still confused
rule #92 everyone woke up one day and some guy named quackity was in the car?? Nobody knows how he got there??
rule #93 tommy has started calling quackity “Big Q”. They talk about drugs a lot. Phil is very concerned
rule #94 apparently karl and sapnap are a package deal with big q. this car is fucking huge
rule #95 the car has run out of room. they take turns going in the trunk. somehow tommy ends up there most of the time
rule #96 tommy is the only one in the trunk now. they banished him
rule #97 tommy died
rule #98 wilbur is over dream now. but he wont stop talking about some guy named jared??
rule #99 turns out he’s an arsehole.
rule #100 HOW DO WE HAVE 100 ALREADY
THE WAY MOST OF THEM ARENT EVEN RULES ANYMORE DSJSD THEYRE JUST…. something
rule #101 schlatt is most definitely livetweeting this shit from beyond the grave
rule #102 big Q got some weed. Him and wilbur got totally stoned. Tommy is mad they wouldnt share
rule #103 you forgot sapnap
rule #104 phil found a place they could all go to therapy while on the road. it didnt work, wilbur still eats sand, techno is still saying something about a blood god, big q won’t stop saying me perdonas, karl is obsessed with ducks?? or something, niki is still making gay jokes, sapnap set a tree on fire a few miles back, tubbo is talking to the bee, fundy is still a furry, Tommy died
rule #105 wilbur is crying about jared again
rule #106 big q tried teaching tommy spanish. Tommy wont stop saying “me gusta”
rule #107 tommy has a friend named sam nook and he wont show anyone. wilbur is jealous
rule #108 techno and sapnap had an actual conversation for the first time. Nobody knows where they went?
rule #109 they finally came back with something like ash all over them? Weird
rule #110 WILBUR WHAT DID WE SAY ABOUT EATING SAND
rule #111 turns out techno and sapnap burned down Multiple Houses. They were going to burn an orphanage too. Phil had to intervene. (hes old and just wants a nap) (how did he get here)
rule #112 wilbur p l e a s e
rule #113 apparently big q, karl, and sapnap got engaged? Nobody really understands
rule #114 what happens in vegas stays in vegas
rule #115 tommy happened again. techno might commit a murder idk
rule #116 Tommy died
rule #117 tommy is no longer allowed near horses
rule #118 phil doesnt let sapnap and techno go places alone together anymore. things will burn™️
rule #119 wilbur should never have introduced tommy to hamilton.
rule #120 phil doesnt know what hamilton is. hes too scared to ask
rule #121 tommy punched 5 men today. He told wilbur they were “hate crimes” because he “hates men”. Everyone in the car is scared (tired) of him.
rule #122 tubbo crashed. Everyone died (real)