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Spark had been alone for three years. Not completely, he would never be allowed to be completely alone, but he hadn't seen any of his brothers in a long time. Only one of them fulfilled their mysterious collective purpose at a time, outside, the rest of them were kept in their room as backup. So he knew that one of his brothers was still alive, even if the other two had been terminated, but it didn't really matter. His brothers never came back even when they were alive. Sometimes, if he was feeling especially morbid, he'd wish for the death of his last brother just so he could be released to the fate the rest of his brothers had faced.
He wasn’t feeling morbid at that moment though. He just felt empty. He knew he wasn't growing up to be a soldier, despite the relevant content in the modules given to him. It was all just filler as he waited for his real purpose, if that ever really came. Slogging through it all just felt like too much recently, which was scary. How long was he expected to just keep going? Was the unknown purpose all of his other brothers had already served any better?
Something suddenly fell on the ground behind Spark, the noise it made was quiet but easily picked up over the unbearable silence of the room. Spark turned, finding a white screw on the ground, and looked up to see another one on the air vent slowly unscrewing itself.
After the second screw fell, a small head popped out of the vent. Although they were all identical, all required to keep their hair the same awkward length, Spark knew who it was instantly, helped in part by the fact that he was the only possibility left alive.
“Wander!” Spark called out with a laugh, tears welling up in his eyes. “Wand Wand Wand Wand!”
Wander smiled, letting himself down into their small space. “You don't know how long it's taken me to find you again.”
Spark pulled Wander into a tight hug, “‘M so lonely here, I missed you.”
“... I missed you too,” Wander murmured into Spark’s shoulder.
“What are you doing here?” Spark asked quietly, drawing away from the embrace. Wander wasn't supposed to be here anymore, surely they'd both get in big trouble if they were caught. “You can't stay.”
Wander shook his head. “I'm not gonna, we're going to leave, together. None of us are going to have to die anymore.”
Spark frowned. “Where will we… What's going on?”
Wander grinned. “I set up a ship, enough fuel and rations for us both to have a bunch of options for planets where we can restock. We'll only be in hyperspace for a couple of days and I also got us enough credits to set us up once we find a settlement. I've been planning for months, I promise, it'll go fine.”
“I…” Spark looked at Wander. Something felt off. “What are we supposed to do after we get there?”
“I can probably find a job. Or we can just steal stuff, I'll show you how. It'll be a good bonding moment.”
Spark chewed at his lip. “Wand… I dunno. I haven't even been out of this room, ‘n you want to leave Kamino? What if you can't get a job? We're nine! Who hires a nine year old! We might just die out there, miserable! At least here it's--” Spark cut himself off, swallowing harshly.
“Please,” Wander begged quietly, holding Spark’s hands between his own, “I've done so much to get here, to set up that ship without anyone seeing, I can't just leave you here! This is our only chance, please…”
Spark pushed Wander's hands back towards his chest. “Leave before they see you here Wand, it's not worth it. Just don't get yourself killed, alright?”
Wand shook his head, eyes widening in desperation. Spark quietly realized that Wander probably hadn't even considered the possibility that he might say no. “No, no no no no! If they find the ship, I'm gone! If they even suspect I was here… Five, please, please just--”
“What did you just call me?” Spark asked, taking a step back from… Maybe he wasn't Wander. Maybe it was some sort of test.
Wander blinked, his fear and desperation making him look much more worn out than he had when he had first entered. “I'm-I’m sorry, it just kind of slipped out- haven't seen you in years, y'know.”
“I've had this name since I was four and you haven't had problems since, you're the one whose name came late. If anything I should be having problems with you, Four.”
“Please! I'm sorry,” Wander looked way too terrified for him to not be hiding something.
Spark’s eyes narrowed. “Sure, I'll forgive you. What's my name?”
“I- well- they messed with my memory a… bit n’ I didn't want to tell you, but…”
“What's my name!” Spark demanded, fear starting to grow in the bottom of his own belly. What was going on?
“I don't know!” Wander finally admitted with a sob. “Please! Please just tell me, I've been trying to figure out anything about you for the last three years! All I really remember is that I miss you. Please, please, I'm so so sorry, I just want to know you again.”
“Who are you?!” Spark yelled, backing up from whoever this clone was, tears blurring his vision. “Where's Wander? What did they do to him? What did you do to him! I want Wand, Wand Wand Wand…”
“I don't know,” the clone admitted, “please, please, this place is making me dizzy, please come with me, I can't… I can't go back without you.”
“I don't even know who you are,” Spark murmured, curling into himself, away from the clone, “stay away.”
“Fuck. Fuck,” the clone swore, moving away from Spark. Wander never swore. They were all too young and terrified for that.
The door to the room opened, their time was up. The longneck who had spotted them soon called every other scientist who knew about the secret room and together they all started cleaning up the mess that had been made.
Spark got to leave for the first time. He and the other clone were led without resistance through the city, taking long, winding, hidden passageways until they entered another sterile room filled with terrifying machines. The other clone didn't seem to recognize the room, but he looked like he knew what would happen there. Maybe he was Wander after all.
Then they were left alone together for a while, the clone must've caught the longnecks off guard quite a bit.
Spark’s questions came slowly.
First: “Who are you?”
The clone sighed like that was the hardest question he could possibly try to answer. “Well, I could just give you the easy answer, but…” He swallowed. “I've been every single member of your batch at one point, aside from you, ‘course. But I don't… There isn't enough left for me to really… I'm not them. I'm sorry I let you think I was Wander, I. I've been trying so hard to bring his memories back and I have a few but I didn't even know his name ‘till you said it and I got excited. I'm not Wander. I'm not any of the rest of them either.”
Spark let that sit in his mind. It was kind of terrifying. He didn't think he got it but… “Do you have a name?”
The clone winced. “Yeah, sorry. I'm Boba, ‘s nice to meet you for real, I guess. Even though it won't last long. You gonna give me your name now?”
“Spark.”
“Spark,” Boba repeated. “I hope you're able to hang onto it, saying it might help. Might not. Spark…”
Spark shuffled around nervously. “What's gonna happen? If you know, I guess.”
Boba pursed his lips, considering the question. “Well, I guess I'll just say it. I've been avoiding it, but it doesn't really matter, does it? They're going to wipe your memories best they can, transfer my memories over to your body, and kill me. That's what happens.”
Spark felt a shiver make its way through his whole body. “And that means… I'll just…”
Boba shrugged. “You'll be the next me.”
“I'm the last one in our batch though, what if I don't…”
Boba just shrugged again. “I don't think they expected to need all of you.”
Spark sat for a bit, trying to comprehend it. He wanted to get it before he was… Erased? After that he'd get it because he'd be Boba. He already got it.
“What's being you like?”
Boba hummed. “Well, the first little bit, probably’ll be shorter for you than it was for me, you won't remember that anything’s going on. You'll wake up, you'll be happy. Loved, maybe. Maybe not if he knows about all this. Anyways, after that bit you'll start remembering. You'll just feel a bit uneasy at first, but then you'll remember that you've felt that uneasiness before, and then you'll find the journal, which’ll remind you of all the important stuff. Wish I had the chance to put your name in.”
“And Wander’s?”
“If you'd be… Okay with that,” Boba replied quietly. “But yeah. After that you'll be up to speed and just… I don't know. Float in uncertainty. Try to remember what you can. Wonder who you are.”
“Will there be any of me left? At all?” Spark asked. He didn't want to be erased.
Boba tilted his head. “I think each one of you has sorta influenced my personality every time. This time I had the urge to look for things, to find out what happened. Guess that was Wander, if his name’s anything to go by. The time before I started talking to my… friends? More often. Just a bit more social, it helped with the uncertainty.”
Spark gasped. “Bash! You have Bash too!”
“Bash?” Boba repeated with a small smile. “Are there any other names I should try to remember?”
Spark shook his head. “Two was taken before any of us had names.”
“And the first in the batch was just… Yeah. Okay.” Boba sighed. “Can I… Hug you again?”
He sounded so nervous, Spark felt a bit bad. Even if Boba didn't remember being Wander much, he still had bits of him. And Bash. And Two. Spark could hug his entire batch all at once, even the mysterious One they'd never met. Soon they'd all just have to… Hug themselves? Spark’s stomach flipped, it was still so, so terrifying, even after all the talking.
Spark curled up next to Boba, it felt like the short period of time when it had just been him and Wander, something he had expected to last a lot longer. Boba held him in just the same way Wander wouldn't, but after a few seconds, he started shaking with silent sobs. Spark just tried to comfort the familiar stranger best he could. They were both dying soon, in different ways. Boba's- Wander's body would be decommissioned, but Spark would be the one to lose himself.
“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,” Boba whispered, voice cracking. They didn't have much time left, footsteps were coming towards the room.
Spark forgave him quietly, too terrified to form any more words. He hoped it'd get across to him once they were one in the same.
Boba woke with another headache, another bout of forgetfulness. At least, that's what it felt like. He knew he had been doing something important the last few weeks, months maybe, he just… Didn't know what. He was too tired to even try to remember. He also knew that he had something he did after waking up confused, he just couldn't place what it was. Just his luck. He'd grasp it eventually. He knew it wasn't normal to just have sudden gaps in memory like that but… It was normal for him. It was okay.
The door to Boba's room opened and he jumped in surprise. It was just his dad, quietly checking up on him. Yet for some reason, Boba was terrified.
Jango frowned. “Are you feeling alright? You've almost slept the whole day away.”
Boba shook his head, “not really.” He didn't really feel sick, other than the memory loss, but he didn't want his dad to see how jumpy he was. He didn't want to be scared either, not of his buir. Did he forget something that had happened? Jango would never do anything to scare him, never ever, and yet…
Boba let out a few fake coughs. “Sorry,” he found himself apologizing.
Jango frowned. “Don't be sorry for feeling under the weather, ad'ika. I'll go get you some tea.”
Boba sighed as his dad left the room. He didn't like feeling like this. There was definitely something missing, he felt almost like he was someone just acting him out, or something. Like his personality hadn't quite woken up with the rest of him. He sighed again.
Jango returned with a mug of tea, kissing Boba's forehead and ruffling his hair a bit as he handed the tea over. That still warmed Boba, despite the irrational fear. That was good.
Boba took a sip of the tea, not expecting too much, but the moment even a bit of it entered his mouth, his face screwed up in disgust. It hurt so much more than it ever had, even though he was used to burning his tongue a bit with the first sip. It was also much more bitter than usual, once he could taste it past the burning.
“Did you leave the leaves in longer than usual?” Boba croaked, face still pinched and throat suffering from his gagging. He placed the mug down on his bedside table slowly.
Jango frowned, taking the mug and tasting it for himself. “It should be fine, maybe you're sicker than you look. Sometimes colds affect taste. I'll get you some warm honey water instead.”
Boba nodded, that sounded better. Maybe he was just sick. Maybe the forgetting was normal because it happened when he was sick, maybe he was jumpy when his dad came in because of his cold. He sighed, laying back down in his bed. He'd need the rest, clearly.
As he settled down, nearly falling asleep, a vague memory guided Boba to a dark corner on the side of his bed snug against the wall. A little flimsi journal was tucked between the wall and the bedframe, and Boba suddenly realized that it was what he was thinking of when he was trying to remember what he did when he was forgetting, he clearly had everything written down in there. He always thought ahead, thank the stars for that.
He opened the book slowly, seeing a scrawl of Basic words written in Mando’a script that had probably been written when he was about five, he had refused to learn Aurebesh and it's mess of inconsistent spellings and hard to replicate characters for a whole. It looked like he had added all the other things on the page much later, when he could actually read and write more than a messy title. A mixture of Mando’a and Basic, old and new notes, but as he began to decipher what he had written years ago, spotty, sickening memories slowly made their way back into his mind.
He'd been replaced again. He failed.