Work Text:
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
5:49 pm
Is he always like this or is this a nabooean thing?
Padme Amidala to Obiwan Kenobi
5:50 pm
What do you mean? Who?
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
5:50 pm
Sheev Palpatine. I’m at a state dinner with him.
Padme Amidala to Obiwan Kenobi
5:50 pm
Serving roast potatoes is an ancient and sacred art. what are you saying about my culture ben???
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
5:50 pm
No I understand that. Sorry. I didn’t mean to insult your culture. I’m just wondering if this habit of lingering physical contact every time he touches someone is a character trait or a cultural habit or something else.
Padme Amidala to Obi-wan Kenobi
5:51 pm
...ew
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
5:51 pm
Okay good. I’m glad it’s not just me.
6:01 pm
So what should I do about it? Should I awkwardly touch him back?
Padme Amidala to Obi-wan Kenobi
6:01 pm
Slap him
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
6:01 pm
...
6:03 pm
I can’t slap him. I have an image to uphold.
Padme Amidala to Obi-wan Kenobi
6:03 pm
I could slap him.
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
6:03 pm
I would pay to see that.
Padme Amidala to Obi-wan Kenobi
6:03 pm
I honestly might.
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
6:08 pm
He’s now touched Anakin’s head for the third time. I think you’d be justified.
Padme Amidala to Obi-wan Kenobi
6:08 pm
!!
Smack him for me.
6:13 pm
Sheev is good at his job and he’s been doing this a long time but sometimes his flagrant disregard for our customs gets to me. He always loosely tolerates formality, even when the traditions exist for everyone’s safety and the efficiency of operations.
He’s told me before that he thinks elections are an “archaic holdover” in out monarchy and should be done away with and we should start putting more qualified people into those positions
Which I think was a dig at me. He tried to smooth it over but he doesn’t think young girls should be on our planet’s leadership.
I know he probably wants what’s best for our people and he has the whole republic to think about, but its like tradition and democracy are the least important things to him
And theyre the most important things to our people
Not just me, every time the people are surveyed they put our traditions and our democracy first
And I know I wasn’t a perfect queen and maybe someone older could have done better but I was who the people chose. And I’m not trying to be vain here, but they think I did an okay job.
And our customs aren’t just superstition. I know some of them are a little old fashioned, but theyre there to protect our culture and democracy, and to honor the people who’ve come before and provide for the ones who come after.
And the touch thing. Every gesture means something in our culture. Is that a little excessive? Probably. Can people just innocently touch each other without referring to an archaic system of implied meanings? Sure! But you can’t grow up on that system and not think about the way you touch people. No one grows up on Naboo without knowing how significant touching people is and how important it is to be both the same page as other people with what they’re comfortable with. The long lists of significant meanings to touches and gestures may be archaic and “superstitious,” but it means that people learn and know each others boundaries and don’t have to agree to physical contact they don’t want.
This is just one more thing that sheev’s flagrant disregard for leads to him being hard to work with. And frankly it makes him come off as creepy. He may not mean it and I know that patterns of communication are very different in the senate than on Naboo, of course I know that, but that’s all the more reason to lean into the natural rhythms of communication and consent that our culture values so highly.
6:48 pm
Sorry, you asked for my input and I gave you a lecture.
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
6:48 pm
No that’s actually very helpful, thank you.
So does it mean anything if he tenderly grabs Anakin’s hand across the table?
Padme Amidala to Obi-wan Kenobi
6:49 pm
!!
…
okay yeah no actually
it means he's a creep
Padme Amidala to Anakin Skywalker
6:51 pm
Obiwan says you’re cheating on me with my creepy uncle
Anakin Skywalker
[read at 6:57 pm]
Padme Amidala to Obi-wan Kenobi
7:15 pm
He’s not texting me back
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
7:15 pm
I think you scared him.
7:28 pm
He’s not actually your uncle, is he?
Padme Amidala to Obi-wan Kenobi
7:28 pm
Do you read our messages?
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
7:29 pm
No, he asked me in the washroom just now
Padme Amidala to Obi-wan Kenobi
7:29 pm
oh
No, we aren’t related at all but everyone assumes we are because we’re both nobility and they don’t know how that works on Naboo.
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
7:30 pm
ah
7:36 pm
I asked him not to pour my drink for me, is that going to cause a diplomatic incident?
Padme Amidala to Obi-wan Kenobi
7:36 pm
omg maybe but its worth it
8:22 pm
Did you come up with a way to make him stop touching you two?
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
8:23 pm
I’ve considered reversing his lingering touch habit on him to see how he takes that. I have also considered asserting my own right to touch Anakin that supersedes his. I understand that he is from a different generation, but surely this level of physical contact is inappropriate even to some of his era.
Padme Amidala to Obi-wan Kenobi
8:23 pm
It’s alarming to ME
And I’ve been queen before
I know about archaic formalities
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
8:24 pm
You’re also emotionally compromised in your judgement on this matter.
Padme Amidala to Obi-wan Kenobi
8:24 pm
I’ll show HIM emotionally compromised.
8:28 pm
I like the plan where you freak him out by touching anakin more
Fits in nicely with Nabooean principals about who has a position to touch who without permission
Should point it out to him nicely
Assuming he’s paying attention or cares.
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
8:35 pm
Good to know. I’ll bear that in mind.
Anakin Skywalker to Padme Amidala
10:38 pm
Wanna tell me why Obiwan kissed me full on the face at a senate dinner? He says you told him to.
Padme Amidala to Anakin Skywalker
10:38 pm
GOOD
Padme Amidala to Obi-wan Kenobi
12:43 am
How does smacking a senator destroy your image but kissing your teammate does not?
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
6:12 am
I have standards.
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
3:15 pm
I want you to know that I did not at all mean to be encroaching on your space and I am deeply sorry if my actions have offended you. It was strictly a gesture of companionable affection. I meant nothing sexual in nature, and kissing Anakin was merely an extravagant flourish to emphasize a point.
Padme Amidala to Obi-wan Kenobi
3:15 pm
obviously
Obi-wan if I minded jedi being touchy with each other I would not have dated a jedi
You’re totally fine
Padme Amidala to Anakin Skywalker
4:13 pm
Babe, I need you to understand that this isn’t “healthy grandfatherly figure” behavior, this is “creepy uncle who should be ostracized” behavior
Anakin Skywalker to Padme Amidala
4:13 pm
:(
Padme Amidala to Anakin Skywalker
4:13 pm
Don’t pout at me
I’ve known him longer than you
Anakin Skywalker to Padme Amidala
4:14 pm
Yeah well I’ve known him since I was younger!
Padme Amidala to Anakin Skywalker
4:14 pm
...that’s worse, not better.
You realize that makes it worse, right?
Also sweetie that didn’t make any sense
Anakin Skywalker to Padme Amidala
4:15 pm
>:(
- four days later -
Obi-wan Kenobi to Padme Amidala
4:32 pm
Your "uncle" seems to have been cured of his propensity to prolong physical contact past standard social durations. He hasn’t laid a finger on me or my associate all evening.
Padme Amidala to Obi-wan Kenobi
4:45 pm
Hmm
I may smack him anyway.
- a few weeks later -
Anakin Skywalker to Obi-wan Kenobi
2:11 pm
The chancellor just offered Ahsoka a place in the young senators initiate program
Obi-wan Kenobi to Anakin Skywalker
2:12 pm
Oh how kind of him. Unfortunately she has class and cannot come. :/
Anakin Skywalker to Obi-wan Kenobi
2:12 pm
she...doesn’t? I haven’t even told you when it is yet.
Obi-wan Kenobi to Anakin Skywalker
2:12 pm
She’s talking private Djem So lessons with me and master Fisto at that time. He’s a very busy man and that’s the only time he can meet.
Anakin Skywalker to Obi-wan Kenobi
2:13 pm
It doesn’t even meet at a regular time. It’s like a once a month thing
How do you know when it is? I haven’t even told her about it yet
You don’t even like Djem So
Obi-wan Kenobi to Anakin Skywalker
2:48 pm
Anakin, we’ve talked about this before, I don’t like the attention that man pays you.
Anakin Skywalker to Obi-wan Kenobi
2:48 pm
We aren’t talking about me, we’re talking about Ahsoka
Obi-wan Kenobi to Anakin Skywalker
2:49 pm
Have you even asked Ahsoka if she wants to do it?
Anakin Skywalker to Obi-wan Kenobi
2:50 pm
I just found out about this and it seems like a good idea! You did this same program when you were younger, didn’t you?
Obi-wan Kenobi to Anakin Skywalker
2:50 pm
Does she?
Anakin Skywalker to Obi-wan Kenobi
2:58 pm
She says Palpatine is a creep and she hates politics
Which doesn’t mean you’re right!
Obi-wan Kenobi to Anakin Skywalker
2:58 pm
You should listen to your padawan.
Anakin Skywalker to Obi-wan Kenobi
3:22 pm
We’re getting Dex’s without you
Obi-wan Kenobi to Anakin Skywalker
3:22 pm
Anakin I’ll be home in two days!
This is petty
4:35 pm
Anakin
Ahsoka Tano to Obi-wan Kenobi
5:33 pm
Master! Anakin says you’re giving me private Djem So lessons. When??
Obi-wan Kenobi to Ahsoka Tano
5:34 pm
When I get back. Keep him away from the chancellor for me, will you?
Ahsoka Tano to Obi-wan Kenobi
5:34 pm
WOOOOHOOO. I can do that!
[Snap from Anakin to Obi-wan, 6:40 pm]
[a group photo of Anakin, Ahsoka, Padme, Rex, Sabe, Cody, Dex, and Fives at Dex’s Diner]
xoxo Wish you were here! (>‿◠)✌<3 ♡´･ᴗ･`♡╰(*´︶`*)╯
Obi-wan Kenobi to Anakin Skywalker
6:53 pm
Anakin
Anakin Skywalker
[read at 6:54 pm]
- four days later -
[Snap from Ahsoka to Anakin]
[tired face selfie]
Obi-wan’s “””lessons””” are literally just chin ups. We’ve done nothing else.
[Snap from Anakin to Ahsoka]
[Selfie wearing his hood, out of focus, eyes artfully illuminated]
patience, my young apprentice
[Snap from Ahsoka to Anakin]
[unimpressed raised eyebrow]
tell padme i said hi
[Snap from Anakin to Ahsoka]
[Padme, beaming. Anakin grabbing for the camera in the background]
Hello dear! Hope you’re having fun training with Master Kenobi! I wish I could do that many chin ups. You’re doing amazing, sweetie. Can’t wait to see what you’ve learned!! <3
[Snap from Ahsoka to Anakin]
[visibly blushing]
Yes ma’am. Thanks ^___^