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“You know he has like, the biggest crush on you, right?” Huening Kai said, chomping away on an apple slice. Soobin rolled his eyes, folding his towels neatly the way his mother taught him. “He does not, I literally just saw him with Daewon-ssi the other day,” he retorted. Kai tsked his tongue and shook his head a few times, plopping down on his bed and selecting another apple slice from the plate. “Hyung, he goes out of his way to do things for you,” he began, and Soobin glanced at him. “He always pays for everything, he makes sure you’re comfortable before we decide to go anywhere or do anything, and he’s always touching you.”
Soobin picked up his stack of towels and walked to the bathroom. “He’s just being a good hyung, Kai-ah, quit trying to manifest our friendship into something more,” he replied. He couldn’t see Kai but he could practically feel him rolling his eyes. “Just try and pay attention next time we’re all hanging out and you’ll see. Taehyunnie-hyung agrees with me,” he called. Soobin’s cheeks pinked up a little at that, but he was glad Kai couldn’t see him. He would be lying if he said a small part of him didn’t want to believe that Kai’s words were true.
It was impossible not be some sort of in love with Choi Yeonjun. He was attractive, charming, smart, and had a sense of humour that appealed to nearly everyone. He was so wildly popular he may as well be a minor celebrity. He sort of was, if Soobin was being honest. He had a line of people waiting for even a second of his attention, hearts on their sleeves ready to confess. Soobin couldn’t blame them, he would’ve been in that line too if he wasn’t so shy. And if he wasn’t best friends with his favourite dongsaeng and therefore got an automatic friendship when Kai introduced him.
Yeonjun was an enigma, whereas Soobin was just ordinary. He was quiet and moved slowly, preferring to avoid the fast-paced university life. He spent his days studying in the park, eating ramyeon with his dongsaengs, and slowly but surely getting through his list of must-watch animes. Yeonjun was everything loud and bright and beautiful.
There was just no way he could ever be attracted to someone like Soobin.
The next time Soobin saw Yeonjun was when they all got together at their favourite Korean barbecue restaurant. Soobin hadn’t been sure that Yeonjun was even going to show up—his academic slash social schedule took up so much of his time—but Kai promised him with a wink that the elder was going to be there. “If you’re there, he’s there, haven’t you ever noticed?” he said offhandedly. Soobin promptly ignored him.
Regardless of Kai’s theory, Yeonjun was there when they both arrived. Taehyun and Beomgyu were there as well, already perusing the menu, heads close together. If Kai should be worrying about anyone’s love life, it should be them. Even Soobin could see how obviously in love with each other they both were.
Yeonjun’s back was to the door, so he didn’t seem them immediately, but Kai barely waited a second before announcing their arrival. “Hyungs!” he shrieked, running up and tackling Taehyun and Beomgyu in a smothering hug. Beomgyu yelled and tried to bat him off while Taehyun giggled and let himself be hugged. Yeonjun immediately twisted in his seat and looked up at Soobin, grinning brightly. “Soobinie!” he cried out. Soobin chuckled and smiled back, doing his best to not read into everything now that he had Kai’s voice banging around in his head.
Yeonjun turned to face Soobin as he sat down next to him—of course Kai would take the seat on the end and leave the chair next to Yeonjun the only open one. Soobin was going to kill him. He sat down and Yeonjun slid the menu over to him, pointing at one of the options already. “They have your favourite if you want to split it,” he informed.
Soobin smiled and nodded, before turning away to take a sip of the water placed in front of him. As he did, he caught Kai’s eye and the boy was smirking mischievously, raising one brow as if to say ‘I told you so’. Soobin glared at him for a moment before looking across the way and saying hi to Taehyun and Beomgyu. “Did you get your heater fixed?” Beomgyu asked, already moving things aside to make room for the food that hadn’t been ordered yet.
Yeonjun’s head snapped toward Soobin and his eyes were wide. “Your heater is broken?” he asked, glancing over at Kai. Kai shook his head, and Yeonjun looked back at Soobin for an explanation. “It just won’t stay on for a long time, but the maintenance guy is coming to fix it on Saturday,” he explained. Yeonjun stared at him for a moment, appearing to be deep in thought, and then he smiled. “You can stay with me until it’s fixed!” he cried, smiling deeply and tickling Soobin’s earlobe.
Soobin blushed despite himself and automatically shook his head. “No, it’s alright, hyung, really,” he insisted. Yeonjun shook his head, moving closer and sliding his hand around to the back of Soobin’s neck. It’s a move he’d done plenty of times, but it had never made Soobin feel this way before. His skin felt icy hot where Yeonjun touched it, and his heart picked up in his chest. Damn Kai, truly. Soobin did not have time for an unrequited crush.
“It’s freezing at night, Soobin-ah, and I have a perfectly good heater,” he said. Soobin blinked, before looking over at Kai. “Are you sure you’d have room for both of us?” he asked. Kai’s brows shot upward and he violently shook his head. “I’m going home this weekend, so don’t worry about me!” he screeched.
Soobin blinked a few times, narrowing his eyes. “I didn’t know you were going home,” he replied slowly. He could see Taehyun share a look with Beomgyu from his peripheral and he was still painfully aware of Yeonjun’s hand on the back of his neck, playing with the ends of his hair. Kai grinned gleefully, unfolding his napkin. Unfortunately, he couldn’t say anything back because the server arrived then to take their order.
Yeonjun’s hand finally fell away as he ordered for both of them, flashing the server a pretty smile. The server stuttered a little when she repeated it back, but Soobin was used to this. It was the chaos that Yeonjun created wherever he went. The world was lucky he was a good person at heart. Beomgyu ordered way too much food for just himself, and Kai and Taehyun split a meal as well. When the server had departed, Yeonjun grabbed Soobin’s hand and squeezed it. When Soobin looked at him, his eyes were wide and bright like a child’s.
“You’ll come over tonight, okay?” he asked, though it sounded more like a statement. Soobin hesitated, before Kai answered for him. “I can drop him off on my way home,” he said. Yeonjun shot him a smile and then cheered happily, giving Soobin an awkward sideways hug. “It’s going to be so much fun, Soobinie!”
Soobin blushed furiously and watched as his dongsaengs all stifled giggles at his expense. Their food arrived soon after that and Yeonjun detached himself from Soobin’s side, insisting that he do the cooking for both of them. Soobin knew it was fruitless to try and argue.
As they ate, and Yeonjun fed him a few bites, Soobin had to admit that Kai was right in a lot of his observations. Yeonjun did always make sure he had what he needed, he was very considerate of his preferences, and he touched Soobin a lot. But to Soobin, that was just how Yeonjun was. He was caring and touchy with everyone else too, and maybe it wasn’t nearly as much, but he had known Soobin for a while now, so that was probably why he was so free with his affection.
At the end of the day, Soobin felt lucky to have such a good hyung, but he still found it hard to believe that all of the actions were motivated by attraction. Yeonjun was very loud and open about what he wanted, surely he would’ve told Soobin by now if he were harbouring feelings. It was just too good to be true. And Soobin wasn’t sure he could survive having a crush on his hyung who he saw at least four times a week if not more. It was physically and emotionally exhausting even entertaining the idea of them being together.
By the time they left the restaurant, Soobin was full and sleepy and absolutely dreading spending the weekend at Yeonjun’s. He hated Kai for making him dread it, because before he would have been excited to spend three days with the elder, but now that Kai had planted a poisonous seed in his head all he was going to do the entire time was overthink himself into a hole. But Yeonjun seemed beyond excited and Soobin couldn’t deny him now.
“Just let yourself in when you get there, okay?” Yeonjun instructed, pulling his keys out of his bag. Soobin nodded, and then Yeonjun dashed off, yelling out obnoxiously as he did. Soobin couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped, and he covered his mouth, letting himself smile. When he turned around, all three of his dongsaengs were staring at him. His smile dropped and he rolled his eyes. “Can you all stop trying to get me and Yeonjun-hyung together?” he demanded.
Beomgyu rolled his eyes. “Can you stop acting like you don’t like him back?” he spit. Kai laughed loudly, clapping his hands together. “I don’t, and even if I did there’s like a million other people he’d rather go out with!” he shot back. Beomgyu only groaned and pressed his hand over his face, and Taehyun took a few steps closer. “If there’s a million other people he’d rather go out with, why isn’t he going out with any of them?” he remarked.
Soobin faltered. He couldn’t think of a good response to Taehyun’s stupidly truthful statement, and the younger knew it. He gave Soobin a gentle smile and Soobin sighed. “Then why hasn’t he said anything?” He sounded sad, more sad than he expected, and all three of his closest friends instantly surrounded him. Kai wrapped his arms around him and rubbed his belly. “The same reason why you won’t admit you like him,” Taehyun said. Soobin bit his lip, before sighing and rubbing his eyes.
“It just seems so unrealistic,” he admitted. Beomgyu patted his shoulder, shaking his head. “To everyone except you, it’s the only thing that makes sense. It’s the only thing that makes sense for hyung, too,” he assured.
Kai dropped him off with only a giggle and a soft hug, and then he was off and Soobin was standing outside of Yeonjun’s door alone. He held his bag of clothes and toiletries in one hand and worked up the courage to open the door.
It was scary, what lied behind that door. All the implications, the possible rejection, Soobin was going to have a panic attack. He should turn around right now, get an Uber, and suffer through a colder weekend than normal. He had a lot of blankets, he’d be—
“I thought I told you to let yourself in,” Yeonjun said, yellow light spilling onto Soobin from the open door. Soobin jolted out of his own head and blushed, ducking his head as he shuffled inside. It was gloriously warm inside and he sighed in relief, unaware of just how cold his own apartment was until he was inside Yeonjun’s.
Yeonjun closed and locked the door behind them and then grabbed Soobin’s bag from him. “I’ll take this to my room, I got all your favourite snacks laid out and just renewed my Studio Ghibli subscription,” he explained excitedly, eyes nearly disappearing from smiling so hard. Soobin grinned too, before his eyes widened and he made to grab his bag back. “I can sleep on the couch, hyung, it’s okay!” he cried out.
The elder yanked the bag out of Soobin’s reach and skipped to his room. “Absolutely not, Soobinie, the bed is big enough for the two of us,” he sang, disappearing past the doorframe. Soobin deflated, heart going into overdrive thinking about sharing a bed with Yeonjun. They had before, of course, but everything was different now.
He went into the living room and blushed as he really did see all of his favourite snacks, even ones hard to find. Yeonjun must’ve gone out of his way to find them after leaving the restaurant. It was becoming harder and harder for Soobin to use the ‘he’s a good hyung’ excuse. Yeonjun’s phone was sitting on the table and it kept lighting up with notifications from various different social media apps, which wasn’t unusual. His popularity was unmatched.
He didn’t look closer though, wanting to respect Yeonjun’s privacy. He sat down on the couch and put one of the random throw pillows in his lap. He messed with the fringe nervously, chewing the inside of his cheek as he waited for Yeonjun to return.
When he did, he flopped down on the couch next to Soobin and rubbed his hands together. “What should we do first? Do you want to watch a movie? Ooh, there’s a new game out on the switch that we can try if you want!” he babbled. Soobin watched him as he spoke, particularly the way his lips formed around the words. Had he never really noticed just how plump and red they were? Surely he’d noticed that before, how could he have not? His eyes trailed up from his lips to his cheeks and he was a bit surprised to see a light blush spreading over them.
“Do…do any of those sound like fun?” Yeonjun asked, voice quieter this time. Soobin quickly looked into his eyes and blinked away the stars. Yeonjun looked a little flustered, cheeks burning up. “You’re blushing,” Soobin said dumbly.
And oh, fuck. He didn’t mean to say that. He instantly paled, trying to backtrack as quickly as possible. But Yeonjun only chuckled breathlessly, touching his cheeks and looking down. “I can’t exactly help it when you look at me like that,” he said. Soobin furrowed his brow, the awkward tension settling deep in his gut. “Look at you like what?” he asked, feeling stupid. Yeonjun smiled at the floor, before gathering himself and looking back at Soobin.
He smiled gently, and Soobin waited anxiously. “Like you feel the same way as I do,” he supplied. Soobin instantly blushed, swallowing and looking away. His heart was threatening to fly away and he suddenly had three loud voices in his head screaming at him to do something. To reassure Yeonjun, to show him that he was right, that he did feel the same way. But it was hard, the emotions and reality crashing down on him too fast for him to process.
Yeonjun interpreted his silence as a denial, and he cleared his throat awkwardly, moving a few inches away from Soobin on the couch. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything,” he whispered. Soobin looked over at him, noticing the way his shoulders slumping, how his whole aura seemed to deflate right in front of Soobin.
And Soobin didn’t like this version of Yeonjun at all, especially when it was unwarranted, and so he moved closer. Yeonjun lifted his head to glance over at Soobin, and his eyes were so sad it felt like a punch to the gut. And Soobin never wanted to see his eyes that sad ever again.
He swallowed his fears, and before he could stop himself, he leaned forward and kissed Yeonjun. It was automatic and over before it really started, but it changed everything. There was no looking back now, nothing was going to be the same.
Yeonjun looked up at him, lips parted and a shocked expression decorating his beautiful features. Soobin stared back, heart beating so loudly he swore he could hear it echoing off the walls. He had made a move, no matter how unexpected, and it was Yeonjun’s turn. The elder seemed to be confused as well as shocked, and Soobin worried that he had done the absolute worst possible thing.
But then Yeonjun surged forward and capture his lips with his own again and Soobin never understood why he didn’t believe Kai in the first place. Because he was right, he was so right. Yeonjun kissed him like he was desperate for it, like he had been waiting multiple lifetimes for the sensation of Soobin’s lips against his. He didn’t hold back as he held onto Soobin’s cheeks and deftly climbed onto his lap.
Soobin let him lead it, let him push him back against the cushions and bracket his hips with his thighs. His hands slid into his hair and Soobin’s settled on the curve of his waist. He kissed passionately, pushing and pulling, sliding his tongue over Soobin’s and Soobin drowned in it all. In every touch, every breath, he felt the intensity of Yeonjun’s feelings for him. It was as if every single suppression was expressing itself fully and completely, surrounding the two of them in a bubble of pure want and adoration. It was enough to make Soobin physically dizzy.
When Yeonjun pulled way, panting for air and shoulders heaving, he pushed Soobin’s hair out of his eyes and looked at him so fiercely Soobin couldn’t move if he wanted to. “I’m in love with you, Soobin,” he gasped, eyes wide and cheeks flushed. He gulped and continued, shuffling forward until their chests pressed together and holy fuck Soobin was going to die. “I’ve been in love with you ever since Hyuka introduced us, and I c-can’t, I can’t do this if it’s just going to be a…a…I c-can’t,” he began to stutter, and Soobin quickly kissed him quiet.
The elder whined deep in his throat and kissed back, locked his arms around Soobin’s neck and pressing impossibly closer. Soobin wound his arms around his torso completely and didn’t even flinch when their crotches brushed. It would be anything but natural if neither of them were turned on during such a heated and emotional moment. They kissed for a beat longer, and then Soobin pulled away.
Yeonjun pressed their foreheads together and Soobin could see him press his lips together as he tried to regulate his breathing. He was shaking just a little, likely overwhelmed, and Soobin was amazed that his head was relatively clear. He felt high almost, a sort of clarity at finally settling the dust and offering Yeonjun some relief and himself some forgiveness. It didn’t matter how long it took him to figure it out, it didn’t matter how stupid he felt he was.
“I’m sorry I took so long, hyung,” he breathed.
Yeonjun snorted, lips breaking into a smile as he leaned forward and gave him a chaste peck, such a contrast to the previous two kisses. “Didn’t know how much more obvious I could get,” he chuckled. Soobin blushed and then Yeonjun kissed him, softly and slower than before. He loosened his body and draped himself over Soobin. Soobin relaxed into it, slumping into the cushions. They kissed for a few moments, and then Yeonjun stopped, their lips still touching.
“Take me to bed, baby,” he breathed.
“Did you tell Kai to tell me that you had a crush on me?” Soobin asked later on, when their sweat was cooling as they lied in bed together, definitely not asleep. Yeonjun hummed happily from where he lay across Soobin’s chest. His hand tickled Soobin’s side as he traced nonsensical patterns into his skin. “No, but I did wax poetic about how hopeless I was feeling about you ever realising,” he replied.
Soobin bit his lip, staring up at the ceiling and hugging Yeonjun closer to him. “I can’t believe I was so oblivious, I’m so sorry.” Even though he resolved in the heat of the moment that it didn’t matter how long it took him, now—after the emotions had somewhat settled—he felt bad again. He would do everything he could to make up for the lost time.
Yeonjun shifted in his arms, moving to prop himself up enough that he could look down at Soobin. Soobin blushed, though he supposed he should get used to Yeonjun looking at him in such a way. “Shh,” he whispered, stroking his hair. “I would’ve waited forever for you.”
And Soobin was going to have to either ask Yeonjun to stop saying those kinds of things or at least give Soobin some sort of warning. He had no idea what to say in return, but thankfully he had a much more satisfying response. He kissed Yeonjun again, holding the back of his head gently. They were sweaty and gross and smelled like sex but Soobin couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.
It took Kai all of five seconds to piece together that Soobin and Yeonjun had finally figured things out, and he was not silent about the revelation.
“Soobin finally got his shit together!” he screamed, clapping loudly and Soobin was so glad he had pulled Kai inside and closed the door before he could let the entire complex know. “Yeah, yeah, you can say it,” Soobin acquiesced, defeated. He hung his head dramatically and Yeonjun giggled, ruffling his hair and stroking his earlobe. Kai laughed loudly, jumping up and down before running up and hugging them both. “I’m so happy!” he cried.
Soobin blushed in embarrassment but hugged Kai back, laughing in relief.