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It wasn’t looking good for him. He deliberately got the cheapest land that he could and it was still piling up far too fast for his harvest to be worth it. That was life though, a cold, unforgiving mistress.
That was one thing he learned real young.
He grunted as he sat down on the porch, reaching for the newspaper he had set aside. The front page detailed some sob story that he cared little about, so he flipped to the next one.
And the next one. And the next one.
“Grumpin’ tabloids, it ain’t even worth it no more…” He rolled up the newspaper before tossing it aside, getting up from the chair. After stretching, with a satisfying pop of his back, he moseyed his way indoors. Triffany was in the middle of cooking some breakfast, letting out a grin as he walked in.
“Wamby! How’s the harvest?” She asked, cracking open an egg onto a pan. Despite her joviality, she knew how it was. She saw the taxes.
“We’re not makin’ it this month unless we sell some things.” He explained, already looking around for anything worth something that they wouldn’t miss. “Harvest’s been lackin’.”
Triffany stayed silent for a moment, the sizzling of the eggs filling the dead air. “I know, Wamby… I’ve gone and got some things out of storage and put them on the table, could you go through that and see what’s not needed?” She smiled sadly, turning her attention back to the egg frying away.
“Yeah, I gotcha.” He said, turning back around and padding his way to the dining room table, seeing the large pile of knick-knacks they’d bought and found over the years together. It was a shame, but if they’d wanted to have the plot to farm on next month, it was necessary.
He frowned as he started to filter through the pile, sorting them into two stacks.
“Another month, another struggle…” He muttered to himself, glancing out to the window where what he had grown was sitting. If he didn’t have a good haul soon, he’d be out of options. All the more reason to put care and effort into his farming, he supposed.
It was just nearing the evening when Triffany barged out of the house in a frenzy. He was in the middle of wrapping up his work on the crops for the day when she began shouting his name, startling him out of his wits.
“Wamby, oh grump, Wamby! You ain’t gonna believe this!” She exclaimed, rushing up to him before wrapping him in a hug.
“Woah, woah, slow down, Triffy! What’s hard to believe?!” Admittedly, he was nervous about what got his wife so excited like this, but it could only be a good thing. Didn’t mean it wasn’t out of the blue though.
“Okay, so you know that talk show I watch sometimes? The one with that host that’s… less than pleasant? Well, turns out, THE Elizabert Megafig was invited on, and wants people on her next expedition!” She gushed, eyes brimming with joy. “That’s not all, though! It’s where she’s going that’s the good part!”
He rose a brow, confused. “Hold on, you mean that lady that went on about Grumplantis? Ain’t she some con artist or somethin’?” Triffany scoffed at that, expression shifting to mild annoyance.
“Oh, Wambus, that was one time where she made a mistake. She was young at the time, and the media pounced on her for it.” She swiftly moved on, perking up again. “But listen! She’s heading off to Snaktooth Island!”
That caught him off guard. He wasn’t too well-versed in the wider world, but even he knew how dangerous that island was. Whenever someone even dared approach that island, they disappeared off the face of the map, never to be seen again. So if Eliabert was heading off to that island, she either had a death wish or had much more experience than anyone gave her credit.
“She’s headin’ off to that place? What, you plannin’ on followin’ her?” He asked jokingly, not at all expecting anything from it.
When she did nod, though, he could already feel a headache coming on.
“Yes, think of the history on that island! So many tales tragically cut short, practically begging to be discovered, to be shared with the world! I can do right by the Lottablog name!” She grinned, clearly not going to change her mind.
When she was like this, there was little chance of deterring her. Sometimes, he wished he could figure out how, but it wasn’t like it was always a bad thing.
“So, you plannin’ on leavin’ anytime soon? Because I’m not lettin’ you go alone.” He crossed his arms, not leaving any room for argument. “‘Sides, it’s about time I got some new land, anyway. This plot’s just about run its course.”
Triffany blinked, momentarily stunned. “Wow, Wamby, you, leaving your farm?” She smiled softly, taking a step closer to him. “It’s about grumping time, ya big oaf. I’ve always wanted to take ya with me on something like this.”
“Well, why didn’t ya say so?” He leaned down a bit, grinning. She giggled a bit, eyes crinkling in mischief.
The rest of the evening was spent together, whispering many sweet nothings to each other. The next few weeks before the trip were going to be a pawful, to put it simply.
When they arrived on the island, almost immediately he got to work on the new farm. Just a temporary one to keep them going while they got started, but it didn’t mean he wasn’t going to just half-heartedly do his job. He’d be a disgrace as a farmer, otherwise.
Grump knows what he’d do if it came to that.
Regardless, Elizabert had gone out today, looking around the island for anything of note, much to the doctor’s dismay. Those two seemed close, but it wasn’t his business by any means. Not that he’d judge, either way.
He was old, not ignorant.
He’d settle in soon enough, like the rest of them, but for now, it was work, work, work.
He could already feel a grin settling in at the potential of what he could do with this soil.
Gramble Gigglefunny was about as stubborn as he was. He’d taken to calling the Bugsnax his “kin” and had taken the moral high ground, snapping at anyone who dared eat his Snax.
That last part was the issue he took up with him.
He hadn’t even gone near his barn and there he was accusing him of theft. He put a bit more effort than needed into the tilling at that reminder, grumbling as he ripped out a bit of dirt from the ground.
Not the end of the world at least. Nothing grew aside from that sauce, which were like weeds. At least that was something growing while he figured out what worked.
He stopped for a second to take a breath, adjusting his hat to block out the sun. Things were coming together now, and food wasn’t going to be an issue as long as Lizbert kept hunting. He’d put up with Gramble’s attitude as long as things were safe. No need to start things if there wasn’t any danger.
Didn’t mean they’d get along all that well, though.
That grumpin’ brat was gonna be a problem.
Lizbert and Eggabell had disappeared, and the supplies were dwindling fast, all the while he’d locked himself in his hut, growling at anyone who came near. It was a tough time, and it was understandable that he’d be jumpy, but he was sacrificing everyone else for something that likely never cared for him.
Heartbreaking, in all honesty. Real shame.
If Snorpy could find a way of catching Bugsnax easily, then they’d survive just fine, but from the looks of things, it wasn’t going well. He hadn’t seen the yellow grumpus in a week, at least, and his green friend, Chandlo or something, looked worried quite often as he passed by his farm.
He’d ride out this nightmare for now, but if push came to shove…
Well, Gramble would end up hating him for it if he found out.
He shifted the empty sack on his back as he fiddled with the lock. It was an old thing, and with enough force…
Snap!
Yep, came right off. He placed the lock down gently, keeping as quiet as he could as he creaked open the barn door. The many cries of the Snax snapped through the silence as they slept, causing him to tense in case Gramble came down from up where he slept.
He didn’t exactly want to steal from him like this, but this was a do or die situation, and he didn’t want to sit there farming away while they starved to death.
If only he could grow more things on this grump-forsaken island, then he wouldn’t be forced to do this.
He shook his head, clearing any doubt from his mind. That was a problem for later. He creeped his way over to the pens on the left, reaching over and taking the first Snak he could grab, tossing it in the sack.
Abruptly, the sounds of something slamming down the stairs froze him on the spot. He turned to see what it was, his gut dropping as he saw Gramble in a dishevelled state, glaring at him as he approached.
“What’re you doin’ here, Wambus?” He snarled, eerily calm. The cat was out of the bag, unfortunately. He wasn’t about to back off though, lives were at stake.
He sighed, ignoring the smaller grumpus. “Out of the way, Gramble.” Before he could reach the next pen, though, something unexpected happened. Gramble, clearly not thinking straight, tackled his legs from behind, causing him to stumble forward, smacking his head against the fence.
He blacked out for a minute or two, before coming back to the Snax running out of the barn, Gramble hollering and raving as they did.
All shame at what he planned went out the window for rage.
“What… What the grumpin’ hell did you just do?! ” He snarled, dropping the sack in favour of standing over Gramble, making himself look as big as possible. He just glared right back, unaffected by the size difference.
“I… I made sure you didn’t go up an’ murder my kin , Troubleham. I’m not about to let you take my young ones, what the grump do you take me for?!” He didn’t show any fear as he stared up at him, teeth bared to the fullest.
So this was what it was like, dealing with stubborn idiots.
“I’ll tell you what you are, you just took our only food source, you little devil!” He leaned down to look him in the eye, beginnings of a snarl creeping in.
“They’re my kin, not some… Some market where you can pick out whatever you want!” He stomped his foot, much like a grumpling would. “Get it through your stubborn skull!”
The sheer gall coming from this child was a slap to the face. He just didn’t want to listen to reason.
He raised a fist, socking him in the face before the smaller grumpus could react. The lack of satisfaction from the punch stopped him from continuing. He wasn’t worth his time.
He spared one last look at his quivering form, before spitting on the ground in contempt.
“Get it together, Gigglefunny, they’ll never love you, you’re just makin’ a fool of yourself.” He took a breath, desperately trying to calm down. “I hope you know the magnitude of what you’ve just done, you grumpin’ idiot.”
The spitting noise that followed almost made him rush back for a kick. Almost.
“What do you mean, you stole from Gramble?!” Triffy was rightfully angry. He went and did this behind her back, after all, he expected this would happen.
“The grumpling went and set them loose before I could, so there wasn’t any point to it all.” Was all he said, pointedly looking away from her.
“That’s not the point! You went and hurt the dear badly by doin’ that! What made you think stealin’ was a good idea!?” She snapped, glaring at him.
“This is a do or die situation, Triffy! I don’t care if he considers them his kin, we’re gonna starve out here without them!” He rebutted, gesturing out the window. “Just look at everyone an’ tell me we’re a stable community! Every other day there’s somethin’ goin’ on, all the while you’re dustin’ away at rocks!”
She stalled at that, clearly upset. Immediate regret hit him in the gut, seeing her hurt expression.
“Ah, I’m sorry, Triffy… I’m just so grumpin’ frustrated between my farmin’ an’ everyone else, especially Gramble. He’s actin’ spoiled when we need to work together, and…” He stopped, shaking his head.
They stayed silent for a while, staring off into nothing.
“...I know.” She spoke up, hopeful. “You can come with me to the Gorge. Get away from everyone for a while, just the two of us.”
He was already shaking his head at the offer. “I can’t do that, Triffy, you know I can’t give up on farmin’.” She sighed at that, looking to the ground sadly.
“Oh, Wamby… Why have you always gotta be so grumpin’ stubborn?” She asked, looking up at him. “I’m wanting you to come with me! You’re my husband, for grump’s sake, I love you!” She was getting angry again.
“Triffy, calm down, alright? It’s got nothin’ to do with us, it’s just that farmin’ is all I got!” His admission slipped out before he realised, freezing as it sunk in.
It really was all he had, wasn’t it?
Triffany stared at him, eyes neutral. “All you have, huh?” She said, turning around to the trunk at the foot of the bed. “Alright, then. I’ll see myself out.”
“Wait, what? Triffy, what’re you doin’?!” He made to step closer, only for her to put out a paw in his direction.
“Wambus, we need some time apart. We both need to think about what we consider important here. You want your farm? Then you can have it, alone. I’m headin’ up to the Gorge for now.” She rummaged through their belongings, pulling out a single framed photo. “Please don’t try and follow me, we’ll just argue more.”
With that, she left the hut, leaving him to stare in regret at the open doorway.
Him and his stubbornness.
He stared down towards the open clearing from where his farm was, eyes finding themselves at the Gorge where Triffany had gone off to that night.
He bit his lip a bit as memories of the many nights spent together came back to him, of how lucky he was to have her.
He wasn’t going to cry here, not while he still had his pride.
…
That same pride cost him Triffy, hadn’t it? He glanced back to the meager farm he had left, idly noting the open pen for the third time that morning. He grumbled something under his breath, turning back to the farm. It was up to him to keep everyone fed in this kind of situation, and by grump, he’d do it.
If only he could work properly without being harassed by those darn Bungers, then he could feel something that wasn’t an overbearing disappointment at himself.
A rustling of the bushes off to the left caught his attention, eyes widening in surprise as Filbo bashed his way through them, with a new face trailing behind him.
“Hey, Wambus!” He said, much to his annoyance.
This was gonna be a long day.
Triffany and himself had made up, but things were still tense between the two of them. He supposed it was his just desserts, after stubbornly keeping to his guns no matter how much hot water it landed him in.
He couldn’t help it, it was just his way of dealing with difficult situations. If it seems impossible, just keep trying, just like his Ma said.
In hindsight, it wasn’t the best advice, but she was just as stubborn as he was. The many arguments they had over every small thing made the house much livelier than most.
He’d need to visit her after everything. No doubt she’d reprimand him if she was here, suck up your grumpin’ pride for once, or something like that.
He wasn’t good for much other than farming, yet despite that Triffany had found herself with him for well over three decades now, so clearly she saw something in him he didn’t.
It was about time for a change, he supposed. Better late than never.
Who could have expected this? The entire island going to hell in a handbasket starting with an earthquake that wrecked town and ending with fending off the many Bugsnax coming after them in waves.
No one could have expected it, after everything they faced themselves. He was lucky he didn’t have too many himself, compared to someone like Floofty or Beffica.
The haunted look in her eyes as she stared at her arms wouldn’t be leaving his mind anytime soon.
Triffany held his paw tightly as they left the island, staring at the twisted form of Eggabell and Lizbert waving them off. Triffany began to tremble a bit, so he pulled her into a hug, patting her back lightly as they kept close.
“Oh, grump… Bronica…” She whispered to him, voice hitched before she could continue.
“It’s alright, Triffy, it’s alright.” He reassured, rubbing soothing circles on her back. “I’m not the best for this kind of thing, but I think she’d be happy that you remembered her.”
Nothing else was said between the two, her light sobbing the only thing coming from the pair.
Half a year had passed before things had returned to a form of normalcy for the married couple. They still couldn’t find any land for a decent price, but they kept in contact with the rest of the Snaktooth group. Gramble especially, considering their many arguments back then. He frequently visited, which was always a nice reprieve from everything.
It took a while before the nightmares stopped for the both of them, but Triffany frequently lamented over the lack of answers regarding her grandmother.
That’s where the pair ended up, at the cemetery where she was buried. He stood in silence, respectful as Triffany laid the flowers on her grave.
She must have been someone wonderful, leaving such an impression on her.
For the next few minutes, she talked to where her grandmother laid, likely gushing about her most recent discovery she found in the public park.
A grin found its way on his face at the memory of her showing the finger to him. She really found joy in her work. He wouldn’t have it any other way.
“Well, Wamby, let’s get to headin’ back, we gotta get to making dinner!” She suddenly spoke from right beside him, causing a yelp to slip out, much to his embarrassment.
Her giggle balanced out his mortification.
“Alright, ya big oaf, no time for daydreaming.” She grinned, reaching for his paw.
He found himself smiling right back, taking her paw in his. “Let’s get goin’, then, you never know if Gramble’s gonna call us for a visit.”
They both shared a laugh at that, before heading back down the path.
They both got lucky since they had each other during that entire mess, but they were by no means unaffected after it all. Flashes of Lizbert and Eggabell ran through his mind, and what had become of them as they left.
There was nothing they could have done, but it still left a bad taste in his mouth just leaving like that.
He shook his head lightly, discarding those thoughts for now. There wasn’t any point dwelling on the past, rather thinking about what he could do.
And if the two of them ever came back, he’d be there for them. All of them would.