Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Wally sighs contentedly as he rolls away from the warm body tucked against his own and stretches his arms up over his head. A hand settles over his exposed belly, the pads of its fingers tracing lightly along the definition of his abs and sending a shiver down his spine mid-stretch.

“Kyle,” he complains breathlessly, and a low chuckle greets him as Kyle’s hand spreads wide and stops moving. Wally nearly shivers again at the thought of how possessively such a hold could be read.

Kyle crowds closer, dipping down to drop a kiss to Wally’s jaw and then another to his lips. Wally returns it gladly, one hand reaching up to curve along the back of Kyle’s neck and hold him close. They breathe in one another’s silence for a few beats before Kyle speaks again.

“Do you really have to go?” He asks.

Don’t go, Wally knows he wants to say.

Guilt churns in his gut.

“Duty calls,” he says. He hopes his smile looks as easy as he means it to.

Kyle sighs softly, eyes fluttering closed for a beat, and when they open again, Wally is both relieved and pained to see the way they’ve shuttered off Kyle’s eternally-swirling emotions.

“Yeah,” he murmurs as he pulls away, rolling over onto his own back to stare up at the ceiling. Wally hesitates a moment longer before he pushes himself up and climbs out of the bed. His gaze searches the floor for his underwear, which he eventually locates on the other side of the room. He flushes red as he crosses the room to retrieve them and pulls them on.

He should probably stop at home for a shower before he heads up to Watchtower for his shift on the monitors.

He finds his pants after another moment of searching and yanks them on, turning to face Kyle again as he does up the zipper. The other man has sat up, leaning back against the headboard with an exaggerated leer on his face.

“Hey,” he faux-sulks, “I was enjoying the view.”

Wally huffs and rolls his eyes, a thin grin starting to curl his lips.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” he jokes, and Kyle smirks, eyebrow raising pointedly. Wally blushes again, warmth spreading up to the tips of his ears.

Oh, right.

They’d already done plenty of that.

Wally kicks his own shirt under Kyle’s bed as subtly as he can, and picks up one of Kyle’s tank tops off the floor a moment later instead. He tugs it on and then reaches up to ‘fix’ his hair, and when he looks at Kyle again, there’s a fire simmering in his eyes that makes Wally’s stomach flip and his legs clench.

There’s no time, though, not for anything real.

Maybe if Wally’s lucky, he’ll have time to jerk himself off in the shower when he gets home.

In the meantime, he makes his way back over to the bed and leans down to drop a kiss to Kyle’s lips, trying his damnedest to ignore the way Kyle’s hands twitch like they want to reach out and pull him against him. Just like he tries to ignore the look that’s made its way back into Kyle’s eyes as he pulls back.

“Let me know next time you’re back Earthside,” he says as he pulls away, and Kyle’s cheek twitches with a half-smile.

“Try not to miss me too much,” he teases, and Wally snorts.

“I wouldn’t worry about that,” Wally jokes back, his tongue always moving faster than his brain, and he turns his face to avoid the wounded look that flashes across Kyle’s.

Dammit.

He sighs and steps back, heading for the bedroom door. He pauses when he reaches it, and looks back over his shoulder at where Kyle is still sitting on the bed. He hasn’t moved, but his entire body seems to have… slumped, a weight he’s always trying to keep at bay settling over him now. Wally knows it’s his fault. Knows that he should stop this.

It was supposed to be fun, was supposed to be no different than Roy, or Garth. A little bit of fun when the mood strikes, friendship maybe a little more intimate than the usual, but, still, Wally has Dick to come home to at the end of the day.

He had known, of course, how much Kyle wears his heart on his sleeve, he just… hadn’t realised all that that would entail.

Kyle doesn’t look up, and Wally shakes his head, swallowing down the parting jibe that bubbles up in a desperate attempt to change the mood.

The soft click of the door when he closes it behind himself sounds like a gunshot on an otherwise silent night.

“Hey, Walls?”

Wally blinks, turning towards the doorway to the bedroom where Dick leans against the frame with his arms crossed.

“Hmm?”

Dick hesitates for a moment, and Wally’s brow furrows. It isn’t like Dick to beat around the bush.

“Dick?” He prompts, and his boyfriend sighs before dragging himself away from the doorframe and stepping further into their bedroom. He sits down on the edge of the bed, and Wally shifts to be closer to him.

“Is something… wrong?” Dick finally asks, and Wally stares, blinking in slow confusion.

“What?” He manages eventually, and Dick huffs out an almost-laugh full of self-deprecation.

“You’ve just seemed… off, this past week,” Dick explains, and Wally frowns. He hadn’t realized he wasn’t hiding his emotional war as well as he thought he was. Then again, when has he ever been able to slip anything past Dick’s notice?

“Nothing’s wrong,” Wally tells him. He’s perhaps a bit too forceful in his delivery, because Dick turns wide, disbelieving eyes on him. Wally sighs, letting his shoulders drop. “Nothing’s wrong with us,” he corrects, and watches as a hint of tension bleeds from Dick’s face, the crinkles around his eyes and lips lessening ever so slightly.

“But something else is,” Dick says after a pause, and Wally sighs again before he flops down against the mattress. A moment later, Dick climbs into the bed properly and stretches himself out on his side, facing Wally. “Talk to me about it?”

Wally remains stubbornly silent for a few long moments before he finally gives up.

“I think I fucked up,” he admits softly, and Dick makes a questioning noise.

“You know how I’ve been messing around with Kyle,” Wally starts.

“Of course,” Dick murmurs, just a hint of confusion pulling at his tone. Probably trying to figure out the relevance.

“I think,” Wally starts again, then pauses for a moment. “I think, maybe, I’ve… led him on, somehow,” he finishes, and Dick hums. “Like, he knows I’m with you. He’s always known that, and I’m pretty sure he knows that’s not gonna change, right?”

Dick offers a soft smile at that, pink dusting across his cheeks, and Wally makes a mental note to remind Dick more often just how in this he is.

“So, what?” Dick finally interrupts. “You think he’s, what, starting to get The Other Girl vibes?”

Wally makes an unhappy face.

“No,” he disagrees, “and I don’t feel like I let the lines blur, but maybe he just reads more into things than Roy and Garth, or maybe he just doesn’t know me as well as they do.” He’s rambling now, but Dick hums along encouragingly, not pushing him to get to the point. Finally, quietly, Wally admits, “I think I made him fall for me.”

Dick hums again and shuffles closer, moving in under Wally’s arm so that it’s draped over him. Wally tightens it instinctively, pressing Dick closer against him.

“It isn’t your fault when someone develops feelings for you,” Dick tells him, and Wally frowns.

“Maybe not all the time,” he concedes, “but when it’s someone you’ve been screwing around with, it seems a lot like I had my role in it.”

“Yeah, but you told him you weren’t looking for anything serious, right?”

“Yeah.”

Dick is quiet for a long moment before he speaks again, and when he does, his words make Wally’s breath catch and his heartbeat stutter.

“Maybe you need to stop fooling around with him, then,” Dick says gently, like he already knows better than Wally how Wally will take the suggestion. “It would be the kind thing, if you think you’re only breaking his heart.”

It takes Wally a solid three minutes to get his breathing and his heartbeat under control. Dick stays tucked against him the entire time, his palm resting gently over Wally’s chest.

Wally has no idea what he’s supposed to say to explain that away, but, as always, Dick is one step ahead of him already.

“Have you stopped to consider that Kyle might not be the only one falling in love?”

Wally’s brain stalls out for a moment at that. It’s like an epiphany that he’s been keeping pushed back, that he’s been desperately keeping behind a door that’s locked and barred and blocked.

Hearing it dripping from Dick’s own lips feels like an accusation, even if it didn’t sound like one at all.

His arm tightens around Dick as he squeezes his eyes shut, and Dick squeaks gently but doesn’t protest the too-tight hold.

“I love you, Dick,” Wally eventually manages, and Dick lets out a huff.

“I know that, Wally,” he says. He squirms slightly, and Wally begrudgingly loosens his grip before he drags Dick closer until his boyfriend is draped over his body instead of pressed against it.

“Dick,” he says, sounding hurt, and helpless, and confused, and Dick’s eyes soften.

“You can love more than one person, Wally,” Dick says gently, but Wally shakes his head.

“That’s not fair to anyone,” Wally protests.

“Says who?”

Wally blinks down at Dick, almost like he’s waiting for the laughter or the ‘you’ve been punked!’ tagline, but Dick just keeps staring back at him, his chin propped against the backs of his hands where they lay across Wally’s chest.

Wally splutters a few times before Dick takes pity on him.

“Monogamy isn’t for everyone, Wally,” Dick tells him, and Wally rolls his eyes.

“Obviously,” he says reproachfully. “That’s how I got myself into this mess.”

Dick sighs.

“I’m not talking about wanting to sleep with other people, Wally,” he presses. “There’s a difference between an open relationship and a polyamorous one,” he goes on, and Wally feels his brow creasing with both confusion and interest. “You can be in more than one relationship,” Dick explains, and something in Wally’s chest stutters again, “as long as everyone involved knows and is okay with it.”

“Dick…”

The look Dick gives him then is filled with sadness and compassion, and Wally’s arms wrap more tightly around him.

“I’m not expecting you to figure everything out this minute, Walls,” he murmurs, “but I think it’s something you might want to think about. And if you decide that it’s what you want, then I’m okay with it. Just. Talk to me again first, before you go to Kyle. Okay?”

Wally opens his mouth to respond, but gets nothing more than a dry click that has him shutting his mouth again and trying to swallow. He nods instead.

“Good,” Dick murmurs, seemingly relaxing even further against Wally’s body beneath him. “I just want you to be happy, Wally.”

It takes a few minutes, and Dick’s breathing has already started to even out, but Wally finally finds his voice again.

“Thank you,” he whispers.

Wally’s been thinking a lot about his talk with Dick in the month that’s followed.

Been doing a lot of googling, too.

It seems somehow like the most simple idea, something he can’t fathom that he’d never considered, and, simultaneously, like the most outrageous thing he’s ever heard.

The thing is, he wants it. Call him greedy, call him selfish, but he wants them both, even more now that he’s got it in his head that it might really be possible.

The other thing is, he kind of can’t imagine sharing either of them with someone else, and that’s. That’s not exactly fair, is it?

It feels different to think about Dick sleeping with Jason or Slade than it does to think of them doing… other things. Sharing the kind of soft, domestic intimacy that he and Dick share.

He’s not sure he could do it, so is it really fair to ask Dick to? To ask Kyle to?

The other, other thing is, he can see Kyle and Dick both agreeing to it so easily, and it feels a hell of a lot like playing on their insecurities and their desperation to be loved.

But, God, he wants it.

Why not both?

That’s the seed that Dick planted in his head that night, and, dammit, Wally wants.

Kyle isn’t even around that much, anyway. He won’t be taking that much away from Dick, not when Wally already drops everything he can to see him when he’s around.

So maybe it’ll mean a few less nights at home in his own bed, if he can let himself stay with Kyle instead of leaving when they’re finished. Dick will probably be glad for the excuse to go corral his siblings into hanging out together, anyway.

If it gives Kyle a reason to look forward to coming home, it’s worth it, isn’t it?

Stringing him along like he has been, giving him so much and then taking it all away over and over and over again, it’s going to take its toll eventually.

Someday, Kyle will stop looking forward to returning from the stars. Then it will be extra shifts on the roster, a reason not to come home at all. An excuse to avoid the heartbreak Wally leaves behind in his wake.

Wally isn’t sure he could handle that, and he knows that he couldn’t handle stopping what they’re doing.

So he has to try, right?

Dick said, when they’d discussed it again after Wally had had the chance to do some research of his own, that honesty was the key. That he was okay with ‘sharing’ Wally, as long as there are no secrets between them. That this isn’t blanket permission to start dating whoever he wants, whenever he wants, but that it’s about opening a conversation first.

That Dick trusts him to know what necessitates Wally telling Dick what’s happening with Kyle and vice-versa.

So if he can open that same line of honest communication with Kyle, and if Kyle agrees, then…

Then maybe this can really work.

Maybe he won’t have to choose.

(It isn’t exactly a choice, anyway. Each and every one of them knows he’d choose Dick if it was, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t tear him apart to lose Kyle.)

Maybe, if he plays his cards right, he can really have both, and they can both have him.

Kyle is due back in another week, and Wally hasn’t been able to shake the nervous energy buzzing along his skin for days already. It’s only going to get worse, he knows, but he can’t help it.

He’s going to talk to Kyle as soon as he’s back. He’s going to lay himself bare and let Kyle decide how he wants to proceed. It’s exhilarating, and it’s terrifying.

Everything could change for the better, or it could change for the worse.

Wally has to hope that it will be the former.

Then the worst happens.

Well, perhaps not the worst, but it’s certainly close.

Wally just happens to be on Watchtower when Hal comes barreling in with a limp, bloody form cradled in his arms. His heart seems to stop and to leap into his throat in a single moment, and he freezes even as Diana and Ollie jump into slow-motion around him.

The frantic words are garbled and lost on him as time slows around him while he stares at Kyle’s too-pale face and the blood dripping down his limp arm only to fall towards the floor and splattered by Hal’s feet.

Between one nano-second and the next, Wally surges forward, taking Kyle from Hal’s grip and routing himself for the med-bay. He leaves nothing but a gust of wind and the high-velocity blood splatter in his wake.

He settles Kyle as gently as he can on the gurney, lingering only long enough to caress Kyle’s cheek before he dashes towards the blood storage and finds a bag of the right blood type. He gets it hooked up and slows himself down to ease the needle into a vein right before Hal, Ollie, and Diana stumble into the medbay.

“A little warning next time,” Ollie gripes, and Wally turns a glare at him that makes the archer stop short for a moment.

“What happened?” Wally snaps as his attention returns to Kyle. Diana joins him, grabbing a pair of scissors like she means to cut away his clothing, but Wally just rolls his eyes and reaches for Kyle’s hand. He slides his ring free, slipping it into his own pocket much to Hal’s protests, and Kyle’s uniform fades away with it, leaving Kyle naked and bloody before them all.

Wally almost wants to toss a blanket across his lap to protect his modesty.

Hal rattles off an explanation about getting ambushed, and about Earth’s sector being the closest with allies, as he crosses to the sink and washes his hands and arms with the antibacterial soap they keep on hand.

Wally snarls as he starts to wipe down what appears to be some kind of bullet wound.

“You look fine,” he snipes, and Hal takes a sharp inhale of breath.

He doesn’t ask what that’s supposed to mean, and Wally is glad. He knows it came across more accusatory than he meant it to. He trusts Hal, really. Parallax is behind them, and his Uncle Hal is back.

But Kyle looks like Hell while Hal barely has a scratch on him, and Wally knows that Hal and Kyle don’t differ that drastically in skill.

Hal’s voice seems pointedly level as he explains.

“Kyle let his own shielding down to protect a ship of refugees that was passing through the battlezone,” he says.

Wally swears softly.

Okay. Okay, that makes sense.

God, but he has a type, doesn’t he, because that’s exactly the kind of self-sacrificial bullshit Dick does.

Diana disappears to scrub up herself once Hal takes her place, and Ollie steps up behind Wally. His hand settles on Wally’s shoulder, and the younger man flinches away with a snarl, still focusing on cleaning Kyle’s wound.

“Wally,” Ollie says, undeterred, “your hands are shaking. C’mon, the others have him. He’s in good hands.”

“No,” Wally protests, trying with little success to quell the shaking of his hands now that it’s been pointed out.

Ollie sighs. “At least come wash up, then,” he says as he wraps a hand around Wally’s bicep. Wally tries to shake him off, but the grip tightens.

“Kid,” Ollie stresses, and Wally goes limp just long enough for Ollie to succeed in towing him away.

They don’t move towards the sink, but rather into the hallway, and Wally’s too late to turn around when he realizes, the doors already flashing red in a way that means they’ve been locked from the inside.

He snarls and turns on Ollie, betrayal on his face, but the archer seems unperturbed. A moment later, he’s wrapped in Ollie’s strong arms, his face smushed against his chest, and Wally lets a trembling breath wrack his frame.

“Gonna tell me what’s going on, Kid?” Ollie asks eventually, and Wally shakes his head. The archer hums, and Wally sags against him a little more.

“Things didn’t end on a great note last time I saw him,” Wally admits eventually, once Ollie’s hug has turned less suffocating but no-less comforting.

“Aren’t you two always fighting?”

Wally huffs at that. It’s not wrong, exactly, except that it is. It’s been at least a year since his and Kyle’s rivalry has been anything but playful.

“Wasn’t a fight,” Wally finally corrects, and Ollie is quiet for a long moment.

“Thought you were with Dick?” He finally asks, and Wally sighs.

“I am.”

Ollie hums, and Wally can feel the judgement seeping into him.

Fortunately, Ollie doesn’t say anything further on that subject.

Let him think what he wants, it doesn’t matter.

“Kyle’s in good hands, Kid,” Ollie says eventually, his arms tightening one last time before he lets Wally go. “Let’s go grab a bite, and they’ll probably be done when we get back.”

Wally shoots a mournful look over his shoulder at the medbay doors and then sighs, shaking his head.

“Fine,” he concedes, the single word tasting like ash in his mouth.

He doesn’t want to eat, for once in his life. He wants to be in the medbay, helping. At the very least, he wants to be planted outside of it, ready to dart in the moment he can.

Instead, he lets Ollie lead his body down the winding hallways towards the cafeteria and leaves his heart laying on a gurney in the medbay.

True to his promise, the medbay doors are unlocked when Ollie and Wally return from their lunch break. Wally races ahead, bursting through the doors and sending papers flying as he skids to a stop next to Kyle’s bed.

Kyle’s still under sedation, of course, but it doesn’t matter. Wally drops himself down into the chair that Diana helpfully slides over to him and then takes one of Kyle’s hands into his own.

“You stupid, fucking dumbass,” he grumbles, and Hal lets out a surprised bark of laughter that drowns out Diana’s sharp ‘Wally!’ Ollie just snorts and then turns to Diana.

“How is he?” He asks, and Wally makes sure to pay extra attention even when his gaze refuses to stray from Kyle’s too-pale face.

“He’ll pull through,” Diana says gently, and Wally feels something in his chest loosen just slightly.

“Won’t be up for much Lanterning for a bit, though,” Hal says with a sigh. “Remind me to give John a call later. Kid’s gonna be on bedrest for at least a month.”

The tell-tale swoosh of the medbed doors fills the air, and Hal, Ollie, and Diana’s voices fade away. Shoulders slumping, Wally folds himself down and rests his forehead against the edge of the mattress.

“You’re an asshole,” he mutters, holding his breath for a moment like he’s waiting for Kyle to tell him otherwise. The protest never comes.

Bedside vigils aren’t Wally’s favourite thing. Forget that they only happen when something has gone wrong - he can’t stand the sitting still. The low drone of the heart monitor, beeping extra slowly as time warps around him. The soft, rasping breaths, thankfully void, this time, of the mechanical whirring that accompanies a ventilator.

It could be minutes or hours later when Kyle finally startles awake, the tone of the heart monitor spiking sharply. Wally jolts upright, rising out of the chair to lean over Kyle, not once letting go of the hand that’s still clasped in his own clammy palm.

“Kyle,” he says, his other palm coming up to cup Kyle’s cheek and guide him to look at Wally. “Hey, Ky, it’s okay. You’re at Watchtower, it’s okay.”

Frantic green eyes meet his own, and Wally tries to keep his own gaze calm despite the fear that’s still simmering inside him.

“Wally?” Kyle eventually asks between hitching breaths, and Wally nods.

“The one and only.” A forced grin, one that softens at the edges when a shaking hand reaches up to cover his own as Kyle leans more firmly into his palm. “I’m here,” he says gently, and Kyle’s lashes flutter as he closes them for a long moment.

“You scared the Hell out of me,” Wally says eventually. He shifts, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. He’s still leaning over the other man a bit, but at least it’s more comfortable now. “I thought-”

The words catch in Wally’s throat, and he swallows against them. His hand tightens around Kyle’s.

“I thought I was going to lose you,” he admits quietly, and Kyle makes a soft noise next to him.

“Wally…”

Wally forces himself to look at Kyle then, his thumb stroking over the other man’s cheekbone and then his lips.

“I thought I was going to lose you before I got the chance to tell you,” he goes on, and Kyle’s brow creases with uncertainty.

“Tell me what?” He asks.

That you’re an idiot, Wally wants to say.

It’s natural. Kyle will laugh, will roll his eyes, and Wally will push away from the bed with a chuckle and tell Kyle he’s gonna go get them a pizza, because you can’t do enforced bedrest without pizza. Wally will speed away and not have to think about the too-fond look that follows him out the door.

Wally’s voice feels like it’s stuck to the walls of his throat, but he pushes through it.

Kyle deserves to hear it.

“That I love you.”

The noise Kyle makes at that is so wounded that Wally nearly shoots out of the bed, nearly yanks his hands free so that he can figure out what’s wrong, what injury Kyle has managed to re-open or aggravate. But just as quickly as the fear manifests, Wally realises that Kyle hasn’t moved.

He doesn’t even look like he’s breathing.

It’s not exactly the reaction Wally was hoping for.

Wally feels himself starting to deflate - how could he have read things so wrong? - when Kyle takes in a shuddering breath and then lets it out just as shakily.

“Don’t,” he says, quiet and wounded, and Wally’s lips pull into a frown. “You’re just scared. Take it back.” Kyle pulls away, and Wally’s hands feel cold in his absence. They flutter uselessly for a moment before falling into his lap.

“Take it back,” Kyle says again. Desperation seeps into his voice, turning the request into more of a plea, and Wally’s heart cracks as he realises that Kyle doesn’t think he means it.

He takes a deep breath.

“No,” he says.

Steady, unyielding. Kyle blinks in confusion, the barest hint of hope alighting in his eyes.

“I mean it,” Wally persists. “I love you, Kyle, and I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I was an asshole, and that I made you think I don’t miss you when you’re gone. I wanted to tell you even before Hal showed up with you bleeding out. I was going to tell you next time you came back.”

The words pour out of him, and it’s all Wally can do to keep from slipping into speed-speech. The light in Kyle’s eyes grows, his expression becoming one of wonder before it suddenly shudders.

“Wally, stop,” he says, and Wally’s mouth snaps shut. Kyle takes another shaky breath. “You’re in love with Dick,” he points out quietly, like he hates to say it but would hate even more to forget it entirely. “He’s practically your soulmate, Wally. I can’t-”

“Dick knows,” Wally blurts out, and Kyle jerks with surprise, looking at him with wide eyes.

Wally could kick himself.

“I mean,” he says, less forcefully this time, “Dick kind of… He realised it before I did.”

Wally reaches up, grabbing the back of his neck in a show of discomfort, and Kyle’s expression melts into one of dismay.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and the heart monitor ticks up slightly.

“No!” Wally shuts his eyes, nails digging into the side of his neck as he takes a breath. “He’s not upset. We’re not… I’m not leaving him.” He doesn’t open his eyes, doesn’t want to see if it’s relief or disappointment on Kyle’s face.

“Why tell me, then?”

Kyle sounds pained again, and Wally is really fucking this up, isn’t he?

God, Kyle must hate him right now. Must think Wally’s dangling everything he ever wanted right in front of him just to tell him it doesn’t actually matter or change anything.

“I’m getting this all wrong,” Wally laments. “Fuck.”

Forcing his eyes open again, Wally lifts his head and looks at Kyle. Takes in all of the confusion and hurt and hope and sorrow held in his eyes.

“Dick said I should ask you out,” he tries out, his words a little slower and less certain than he’d like them. Kyle blinks at him, confused. “I mean,” he tries again, “you know, uh. Like, polyamory, right?”

Kyle frowns, tilting his head slightly.

“Like Jason, Roy, and Kori?” He asks, and Wally makes a non-committal noise.

“Kind of, I guess,” he says.

“I don’t understand,” Kyle says after several long, long seconds have passed. “As far as I know, Dick and I don’t see each other like that.”

Wally bites down on his tongue, swallowing back the knee-jerk reaction to point out how fucking hot it would be if they did.

“Yeah, but,” he says instead, “it doesn’t have to be like that. Like, everyone… together. It could just be, um. Like, me and Dick, and you and me, except we’re all okay with it.”

He hesitates, then adds, “Dick’s okay with it. I swear.”

Slowly, Kyle reaches out and takes Wally’s hand into his own, giving it a light squeeze. There’s a hesitantly hopeful smile starting to twist his lips, and Wally’s heart feels like it skips a beat in his chest.

"Can I talk to Dick?"

Wally blinks in surprise, and Kyle ducks his head.

"It's not," he starts, then pauses. Wally frowns, and something anxious starts to build in his gut.

"I believe you, Wally," Kyle says, looking over at him again, meeting his eyes, "that he said it's okay, I mean. I just. I'd like to see him say it."

Kyle looks away again then, gaze dropping to where his free hand is picking at the blanket covering him as he tips his head down.

"I just need to know he means it," he adds, his voice barely a whisper. "That, that he isn't going to... change his mind."

Wally's heart squeezes in his chest, and his breath escapes him in a rush.

Of course.

Of course Kyle is still afraid to hope, even if he believes Wally meant what he said now. He’s afraid to reach out and take what's been offered if it's only going to be torn away in the end.

Of course he wants to talk to Dick, wants to make sure Dick really is okay with this and isn't just trying to force himself to be. Isn’t going to break under resentment later on.

"Kyle," he says softly, but the other man doesn't look up.

Wally's frown deepens, and he reaches out to cover Kyle's hand with one of his own.

"Kyle," he says again, "of course you can talk to Dick about this. And not just now, but. Well, if, if you want this too, well, I think you'll probably need to talk sometimes?" He tilts his head and feels out his next words before he says them.

"You're not my dirty little secret, Kyle," he says. "No secrets, okay? You and Dick, you'd both be mine, but I'd be both of yours, too. You have a right to know what goes on between Dick and I, too, and it's the same for him with us."

Slowly, Kyle raises his head back up and looks at Wally. His eyes are misty with unshed tears, and Wally can’t stop himself from leaning forward and stealing a kiss. Kyle freezes for just a moment before melting into it, and Wally shifts to get more comfortable as he leans over Kyle’s body to prop himself up with a hand against the mattress.

One of Kyle’s hands settles along the back of his neck while the other grasps Wally’s wrist, and Wally hums softly when he finally breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against Kyle’s.

“I really want to make this work, Kyle,” he whispers, barely loud enough for the words to travel between them, and Kyle’s breath stutters. “I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you.”

Kyle breathes deeply for a moment, his grip on Wally’s neck tightening just a fraction. Wally wonders what he’s thinking about, if he’s weighing Wally’s sincerity against his own fears.

“I don’t know how I’m ever supposed to go back to before if he says no,” Kyle admits softly, and Wally makes a low noise in the back of his throat.

“He won’t,” he says, pushes as much confidence as he’s capable of into the words. He’d already made sure of it, already talked about this long and hard with Dick; he wouldn’t have brought it up to Kyle if he thought Dick was secretly on the fence about it. He knows Dick too well to be fooled like that.

“He won’t,” Wally says again. “You’ll see.”

Chapter Text

The medbay door swishes open for the second time in as many minutes, and Kyle rolls his eyes.

"Guy," he sighs. "Stop pretending to forget things. I'm not going to die if I'm alone for…"

Kyle trails off as he finally looks towards the door, his words dying on his tongue when he sees who just came into the room.

"It's not Guy."

"Sorry, Kyle," Dick says easily, his hands tucked casually into the pockets of his slacks. "You've got the wrong guy." His lip twitches up at the joke, and Kyle feels some of his initial panic start to ease.

"Grayson," he greets the other man lamely, his head nodding slightly in acknowledgement.

When he told Wally he wanted to talk, he didn't mean it had to be immediately.

Dick steps further into the room, his gaze taking in the IVs connected to Kyle's hand and the heart rate monitor next to him before settling on Kyle again.

"How are you feeling?"

Kyle grunts and forces himself to sit up a little straighter. If they're going to do this, he's not going to do it slumped over and looking pitiful. That's just asking to play on Dick's sympathy or guilt, which he's very much trying not to do.

"Been worse," he mutters, and Dick gives him a sad smile because he knows exactly what Kyle means.

They've all gone through so, so much in this life they lead.

"If you're looking for Wally," Kyle says after the silence starts to stretch, "he left a few hours ago."

Dick chuckles.

"I'm not here for Wally," he says, and Kyle's heart seems to constrict in his chest. "I'm here to talk to you. That's what you wanted, isn’t it?"

Kyle's mouth feels dry, so he just nods dumbly.

"So let's talk," Dick says as he perches on the bed across from Kyle's.

If only Kyle knew where to start.

He thought he'd have more time to figure out what he wanted to say.

"You didn't have to come all the way here," he says eventually. "It could have waited."

Dick makes a noise of disagreement.

"I've had to live with Wally every day since the last time he left you," Dick says, and Kyle averts his gaze as his cheeks darken. "Trust me when I say I'm ready to get this out of the way."

Kyle winces as he tries to wrap his arms around himself.

"I'm sorry if I've made things awkward between you," he apologies, gaze dragging back up to meet Dick's, because he deserves that much.

Dick scoffs.

"You haven’t made anything awkward," Dick says. "He's just driving me crazy with his pining."

Kyle blinks a few times at that, the words not entirely computing even with Wally’s own confession clear in his memory.

"But," he starts.

“Do I strike you as the jealous type, Kyle?” Dick asks, cutting him off, and Kyle blinks again. Thinks about his not-relationship with Wally, thinks about Wally talking about screwing around with Roy, and Garth, and Linda. Thinks about Dick messing around with Jason just to watch him go home to Roy and Kori.

Thinks about how none of that is really the same thing as sharing Wally's romantic affections.

“Uh," he finally says, sounding uncertain, "N...o…?”

Dick smirks, and Kyle shifts uncomfortably.

“It’s just, it’s different, isn’t it?” Kyle continues. “Like, it’s one thing to not care about sleeping with other people, but there are a lot of people who would say emotional cheating is worse than physical cheating - not that that’s what this is! Just, it’s the easiest… comparison, I guess? And I really, really appreciate that you’re trying to be open to giving it a try, Dick, really, I do, but I can’t… If you change your mind once it starts, I...”

Dick lets Kyle ramble for a while, listening intently all the while trying not to roll his eyes. Damn, the poor guy’s really winding himself up, huh?

“I’m not trying to be open to anything,” he finally cuts in when Kyle starts to trail off. “I am okay with it.” Kyle’s brow furrows, uncertainty written across his face, and Dick sighs.

“Look,” Dick says, his lips twitching at the surprise that flashes in Kyle’s eyes as he continues,  “I’ve had years to think about this. Honestly, I expected it to be Roy,” he continues, and Kyle tilts his head, considering. “I think, if he hadn’t lost Lian and spiralled out when he did, it would’ve been.”

Dick shrugs and slips his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

“Wally’s always kind of skirted the line between platonic and romantic intimacy with other people,” he admits. “It was pretty obvious to me months ago that he was more than just skirting it this time. I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” Dick continues, a wry smirk tugging at his lips, “but Wally can be pretty oblivious to emotions sometimes.”

Kyle snorts at that, something of the hesitation and doubt seemingly lifting from his features with the sound, and Dick lets his smirk soften.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “I feel like he only noticed I was in love with him, like, last time I was here.”

Dick bites his lip for a moment, hesitating, but finally says, “yeah, that’s because Jason chewed him out when he saw how much you looked like, and I quote, ‘a kicked puppy, Jesus, KF, what’s wrong with you?’ that time we were all at the Tower a few months back.”

Kyle blushes furiously at that, his mouth opening and closing like he wants to protest, and Dick can’t help chuckling.

“He wasn’t wrong,” Dick adds, and Kyle groans and buries his face in his hands.

They're both quiet for a few minutes then, Dick waiting patiently as Kyle turns his thoughts over and over in his mind. Finally, he speaks.

"I need to know you're a hundred per cent sure," Kyle says, his expression going desperate and just a little pained.

He isn't stupid. He knows that if Dick decides he can't do this, it won't be Dick and Wally who part ways.

He can live with being second, but he's not sure he can live with having Wally just to lose him for anything less than Wally explicitly not wanting him anymore.

 "I can't… If we do this, I can't just, if you decide to take him away from me…"

Dick inhales sharply at that, and Kyle glances over at him, takes in the grief and sorrow on his face with surprise.

"Kyle," Dick says. "I never would have even suggested this if I wasn't sure. The point was to help you both be happy, to help Wally find a way to stop hurting you, not to have the power to hurt you more."

Kyle swallows hard and gives a small nod.

He knows Dick wouldn't intentionally set him up like that, of course he does. Dick's probably the last person on Earth who would play with him like that. It's just.

Well, what if he's looking at it through rose-tinted glasses? What is he's not really thinking through everything that could happen?

Dick lets out a huff.

"Do I have to remind you that I was raised by Batman?"

Kyle's brow furrows.

He wants to ask why that's relevant, wants to point out the emotional IQ is hardly Batman's strong suit.

"I've been trained since I was a child to look at all sides of a situation, to think about every possible trajectory a decision can take."

Oh.

Oh.

A small, determined seed of hope starts to blossom in Kyle's chest.

"If you're waiting for my blessing, Kyle, you already have it."

Kyle would be ashamed of the wetness in his eyes, but he's seen enough of the other Titans crying that he knows there will be no judgment here.

Dick makes a slightly pained noise eventually, though, and Kyle looks up to see him staring longingly across the distance between them as his grips the sheets so tightly his knuckles are white. His brow furrows.

"Don't mind me," Dick manages. "I just really want to hug you right now."

The words force a startled laugh out of Kyle.

"Then why do you look like you're being tortured?"

"Trying to curb my enthusiasm since the last time Jay broke my nose for it."

Kyle rolls his eyes at that.

"Yeah," he agrees, "that sounds like Jason alright." He hesitates, just for a moment, and then pats at an empty space on his own bed.

Dick twitches, eyes narrowing in on Kyle's hand.

"Well," Kyle prompts, "are you gonna come over here or what?"

Dick practically lights up, and Kyle smiles in return as the other man launches himself off one bed to join him on the other.

Despite his enthusiasm, Dick is gentle, being careful of Kyle's injuries as he wraps him up in strong arms. Kyle sinks into the contact gladly, turning his face slightly to tuck his nose against Dick's neck.

"Thank you," he says after a long moment, and Dick just tightens his grip a little more.

"You deserve to be loved, too, Kyle," Dick rumbles, and he doesn’t say anything about the way Kyle's tears soak his neck.