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It had never occurred to Wei Wuxian to imagine what his wedding might look like, but if it had, he would certainly never have imagined a ceremony like this, one without family or guests in attendance.
The atmosphere in the large room - barely visible beyond the veil obscuring his face - is solemn, almost funerary. First, to Heaven and Earth. Wei Wuxian bows low. As he comes up, he finds himself thinking, with a pang - his parents would never have been able to attend, of course. But the conspicuous lack of Ajie and Jiang Cheng and Jiang-shushu - even Yu-furen - forms a dim, hollow ache in Wei Wuxian’s chest. The ache grows more pronounced as he and his bridegroom turn to the empty seats traditionally reserved for family elders for their second bow.
If anyone in Yunmeng were to find out about this utterly dignified celebration being in Wei Wuxian’s honor - well. No one would be able to believe it.
The silks of his elaborate wedding hanfu whisper across the polished wooden floor as he pauses before the final bow, delicate gold embroidery glittering with even the minutest of movements. Ajie and Jiang Cheng had spent hours in front of the fireplace sewing in sprigs of lilies and clusters of lotuses onto the fabric in anticipation of Ajie’s marriage to Jin Zixuan. In the end it is Wei Wuxian who is wearing Ajie’s wedding silks instead, and there is no-one to tell him if he is doing the robes proper justice.
The third and final bow - Wei Wuxian’s headdress tinkles as it brushes against the top of his husband’s head - and Wei Wuxian is now a married man. The finality of it - he is a married man - settles stiffly around him, heavy in a way even the golden coronet and embellished robes were not -
But then, perhaps that is because of the silence. Wei Wuxian finds himself standing, rather foolishly, on the dais, feeling more and more like the beveiled and bedecked victim of an exceedingly elaborate joke.
He clears his throat, injects the happiest cheer he can into his voice, draws on the only thing he knows about the man - the only thing he had been able to discover, in the day and night preceding this event - (is he even a man!) - who is now his husband.
“Why, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian says, “won’t you lift up this red scarf? Or have I still not earned the privilege of laying eyes on you! What are you hiding, that you won’t show me, who is now your husband?”
A lengthy pause. Wei Wuxian’s husband, Wei Wuxian is quickly discovering, is not a person to whom words come with any sort of ease.
“What could it possibly be? Scars, perhaps?” Wei Wuxian prompts, when he can no longer bear the silence. He is dimly aware that he is babbling, “if it’s scars that you’re hiding, you don’t have to worry, I think scars give a face character - ”
“Wei Ying,” there is a stiff, awkward note in Lan Zhan’s sonorous voice, “you will be frightened.”
“Try me,” Wei Wuxian says with more bravery than he is actually feeling.
There is another protracted silence, during which Wei Wuxian seriously contemplates running. If he hitches his skirts high enough, he can avoid ruining the fabric, and perhaps Ajie will still be able to remove the extra panels Jiang Cheng had sewn for Wei Wuxian’s benefit and repurpose the outfit for her own wedding.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Zhan says, even more stiffly, “I apologize,” -
And Wei Wuxian becomes aware that instead of the customary steelyard beam his veil is being folded back by a pair of pale - clawed? Wei Wuxian must be imagining things - hands -
Wei Wuxian blinks against a flood of light, eyes tearing up - and as his vision comes into focus he finds himself looking into a pair of startling golden eyes set in long narrow face under pronounced brow ridges - a decidedly inhuman face, and not in the sense of so beautiful as to appear inhuman -
- oh, Wei Wuxian thinks faintly, I have married a dragon -
And he promptly crumples in place.
***
I.
Later, when he thinks back on it, Wei Wuxian will think he should have known something lifechanging was about to happen, if only because of the storm.
As far as he can recall, bad weather has always heralded the major events in his life: when his parents died, when Jiang-shushu found him in the city, when the Wen Clan seized Jiang-shushu’s estate –
It is a particularly bad storm, too: fierce winds howling between the rickety old buildings like a wounded animal, thunder rattling the windows, and the incessant pouring rain drumming out a ceaseless rhythm overhead.
Inside, though, it is warm. There is a roaring fire in the hearth, A-Cheng is humming under his breath while he polishes the kitchen blades, and best of all, Ajie is peeling lotus seeds and laughing at even the silliest of Wei Wuxian’s jokes. Even Yu-furen is quiet, poring over her account books with studied concentration.
A good night, apart from the storm. Wei Wuxian thinks he could fall asleep like this, right here, with his head pillowed against A-Cheng’s knee, Ajie passing her warm hand over his hair.
The door is flung open with a loud bang, like an explosion, and Wei Wuxian jerks awake to see Jiang-shushu appear in the room, pale as a sheet and soaked through to the skin.
“Honestly,” Yu-furen exclaims, “what is the matter with you?”
Ajie hurries to get blankets; Jiang Cheng sets water to boil for tea. Wei Wuxian helps Jiang-shushu remove his wet overclothes.
“I’ve had a rather unfortunate experience,” Jiang-shushu says, when he has caught his breath, but he still looks rather haunted.
“You’re still alive, aren’t you,” Yu-furen says unfeelingly, “how bad could it have possibly been?”
Jiang-shushu looks at her from where he is now comfortably ensconced, in his favorite chair, one of the few pieces of furniture they had been able to bring away with them from the Lotus Piers. He reaches into his pocket, brings out a brilliant jade hairpin inlaid with gold filigree, and holds it out towards Yu-furen, whose eyebrow hitches up so high it almost disappears into her hairline.
“Really, Fengmian,” she says, “another one of these useless trinkets. I do wish you would not waste money on such cheap things. We have precious little as it is.”
“This hairpin is more valuable than you know,” Jiang-shushu says, hoarse. “I’m afraid it carries a heavier price than just money.”
***
He was late coming back from the market, he tells them, because he had run into a few old friends and stayed to chat, so it was already dark when he set out for home. At first the journey was easy, and the paths well-traveled – but then it had started to storm.
What an unfortunate storm! His lantern was put out by the water, and as he lacked an umbrella, he was very quickly drenched. Still, he continued forward; he was halfway home, and thought he would definitely be able to make it.
However, he quickly realized he was lost. Somehow, he had left the beaten path and was now in entirely unknown territory. He was still following a road, but it was narrow and unfamiliar, and did not appear to be a well-traversed one. Because of the inclement weather, he could not be sure he would be able to retrace his path if he were to turn back, so instead he pressed forward.
Soon, lanterns appeared on either side of the path, shining brightly despite the rain and the wind. Thinking he might soon find shelter, he followed the path, till he came to an estate. What an estate it was! Stately and magnificent, even moreso than the Lotus Piers. The gate was slightly ajar and seemed to beckon him forward, and so he passed through it, and found himself in a garden.
Here, Jiang-shushu paused and leaned forward in his chair.
Incredibly, it was not storming inside the garden! For a moment he thought he must have entered a building, but above him was a sky full of stars, brilliantly blue and cloudless – and around him were the most beautiful assortment of trees and flowers he had ever seen. The lanterns winked as if he were meant to follow – he was lead from one garden to the next until he arrived in one where the topiary was entirely jade – the shrubbery, the leaves, and even the flowers.
Amidst this garden of statues there was a low table set with a feast meant for a king; he felt he was ushered to sit and partake of the meal. He waited, but no-one joined him, so he ate, thanked his unseen host for the hospitality, and was about to take his leave – when he saw that the bushes’ flowers were various kinds of ornaments, and he caught sight of this hairpin. The moonlight glinted off it so beautifully he felt compelled to pluck it from its stem – and, as soon as he did, a shadow passed over the moon and the sky grew dark.
A great booming voice resounded around him – a man’s voice, and yet nothing like that of a man.
How dare you, the speaker said, the words shaking him to the core in his dantian, you have enjoyed my hospitality and yet you dare to steal from me.
I did not mean to steal, he said, I only wished to take a trinket for my wife –
For your wife? The great and terrible voice repeated, it did not please you to perhaps ask before you plucked?
My apologies, o great one, he said, for this must be an immortal of some sort, a god or a deity, this humble one did not mean to overstep.
And yet you did, and for such things there is a price.
He said, name your price, with a sinking feeling, because he was sure he would be unable to meet it.
You have children, Jiang Fengmian, the terrible voice said.
I do, he replied.
You will bring one of your children to me, the voice said, for I am in need of a companion, and this will fulfil the price you owe me.
A companion? He repeated, while in his heart he thought, or a prisoner?
Out loud, he said, I am sorry, o great one, but this I cannot give you. I offer my life instead, unworthy as it is, but please, spare my children.
A pause.
I see there is some honor left in you, after all, the voice said. Fear not, should they come willingly no harm will come to them, for what I am looking for is a wife – or indeed a husband, I care not. Leave now, and return home. Bring your child to me in the morning. You have only to think of this place and you will find your way here.
***
“And so,” Jiang-shushu says, “it seems – ”
“What utter nonsense,” Yu-furen says scathingly, “you must have been thoroughly drunk, to come up with such an elaborate hallucination.”
“My lady,” Jiang-shushu says, with great dignity –
“So who will it be,” A-Cheng interrupts. “Not Ajie; she’s already promised to the peacock, and we are lucky they haven’t broken off the agreement, despite our recent misfortunes. It will be me, then?” There is a glimmer in his eye as he looks at his father that Wei Wuxian recognizes, and it makes his chest hurt.
Jiang-shushu, after a brief pause, opens his mouth to reply –
“I’ll do it,” Wei Wuxian says, before he can speak, “I’ll go.”
Jiang-shushu says, “A-Xian, you cannot. How will I face your father in the afterlife if I sold you into marriage because of my foolish mistake?”
“Wei Wuxian,” Jiang Cheng says, looking as though he is slowly being choked to death.
Wei Wuxian smiles, elbows Jiang Cheng in the ribs. “It will be an adventure,” he says, “You know I have been hankering for one since we’ve had to move out here. Jiang-shushu, Yu-furen, let me do this for you as thanks for taking care of me all these years.”
Yu-furen sniffs. “As well you should,” she says, shortly, and glares at Jiang-shushu as if daring him to argue.
Ajie’s eyes are horrified. Jiang-shushu’s face falls, resigned.
Jiang Cheng, when Wei Wuxian looks at him, does not meet his eye.
***
Later, during the night, Wei Wuxian climbs into their shared bed in their shared room – there is really no space in this tiny peasant’s house – where Jiang Cheng is curled up in the fetal position and manfully pretending to be asleep. He is unable to fool Wei Wuxian though, especially when his shoulders stiffen even further as the mattress dips under Wei Wuxian’s weight.
Wei Wuxian says, “are you really going to be like this on my last night at home, didi?”
Jiang Cheng is quiet, but his breathing is loud. Wei Wuxian sets his chin against Jiang Cheng’s shoulder and wraps an arm around his waist. “My didi is cute no matter what, but you’re cutest when you smile, you know,” Wei Wuxian says, brightly. Jiang Cheng attempts to pull away, Wei Wuxian tightens his grip, and a (half-hearted) battle of wills plays out, which Wei Wuxian wins, because Jiang Cheng is rather soft when it comes to Wei Wuxian, and Wei Wuxian is wholly unafraid to exploit this.
“Why should it be your last night at home,” Jiang Cheng mutters, finally, the words half-strangled. “Why do you always have to be like this.”
“I’ll come visit,” Wei Wuxian promises, “it’s not like I’m dying, I’m just getting married. I’m sure my … husband won’t object to my seeing my family.”
Jiang Cheng sits up. “You don’t know who or what you’re marrying,” he says, furious, “what if it turns out you’re married to a monster, hmm? A-die didn’t even see what he – it – looks like, he says just heard a voice – ”
“It’s going to be alright, A-Cheng,” Wei Wuxian says, seriously, “I promise.”
A-Cheng bites his lip so hard Wei Wuxian is afraid he is going to make himself bleed. “What have I said about not making promises you won’t keep,” he grinds out, looking past Wei Wuxian’s shoulder to some distant point on the wall.
Wei Wuxian closes his eyes briefly, breathes slowly out through his nose. “Please, let’s not fight, A-Cheng,” he says, “you’re right, as you always are. I have no idea what I’m doing or what is going to happen to me, so please let’s not waste what time we have, hmm?” He opens his arms, and it takes A-Cheng several long minutes, but he slowly, grudgingly, allows himself to be drawn close.
“I hate that you’re doing this,” he says, voice muffled against Wei Wuxian’s shoulder.
“Better me than you,” Wei Wuxian says into his hair. “You’re brave, A-Cheng, so you’ll be fine – but if it were me watching you go off I’d go crazy worrying about you.”
***
The small house is quiet, in the morning. Somehow, Wei Wuxian has thought better of packing – from what Jiang-shushu has said he doesn’t think he will need to bring anything with him – and besides, he had been unable to bring any of his precious belongings with him from the Lotus Piers. He cannot refuse the pouch of peeled lotus seeds Ajie presses into his hands – her eyes brimming with tears – however. When she hugs him, Wei Wuxian hugs back twice as hard, buries his nose into her hair – who knows when he will get to see her, next?
Afterward, Ajie wipes her eyes with her apron and disappears into the house, presumably because she cannot bear to see him ride off.
A-Cheng is nowhere to be seen. Wei Wuxian considers looking for him, but there seems to be a sense of urgency in the air, and he is afraid the longer he waits the more likely it is that Jiang-shushu will change his mind about letting him go. There is also the small, but valiant part of him that also wishes he did not have to go at all, so Wei Wuxian tightens his traveling cloak around his shoulders and steps out of the house before he can fall prey to it.
Jiang-shushu is securing the saddle to Li’l Apple’s back, looking just as pained as Wei Wuxian knew he would.
“Let me do that, Jiang-shushu,” Wei Wuxian says, extra-brightly – Jiang-shushu winces but moves back and allows Wei Wuxian to finish up.
“I wish I could afford a proper horse for you,” Jiang-shushu says, “it seems rather inauspicious to send you off on this old donkey – ”
“I’d rather Li’l Apple than all the horses in the world,” Wei Wuxian says staunchly. Li’l Apple snorts in a rather discouraging manner, but allows Wei Wuxian to climb into the saddle nonetheless. Wei Wuxian casts one last look around for Jiang Cheng, squares his shoulders, and squeezes Li’l Apple gently with his knees.
“Wei Wuxian!” Jiang Cheng’s voice is far too loud for this early in the morning, but Wei Wuxian is too happy to call him out.
“Jiang Cheng, you’re here,” he bursts out – Li’l Apple brays in protest as the bit yanks in her mouth – turning in the saddle to see Jiang Cheng approach. Jiang Cheng is carrying a large, hastily wrapped parcel, which he shoves unceremoniously in Wei Wuxian’s general direction.
“Here,” he says, studiously avoiding Wei Wuxian’s eyes – his voice, however, sounds suspiciously hoarse, “Ajie and I decided you should have it. I’ve made some adjustments so it should fit.”
Wei Wuxian takes the package. “Jiang Cheng, is this – ”
Jiang Cheng’s jaw is tight in the way it always is when he is trying not to cry. “Sorry we won’t be there to see you take your bows,” he says, “be well, Wei Wuxian, and come visit us soon.”
***
It is not yet midmorning when the towering walls Jiang-shushu had described come into view.
Weak early morning sunlight filters through the towering foliage pressing in on either side of the narrow road. At some point early in their journey the road had begun to climb upward, becoming narrow and winding, a strange occurrence for the country around Yunmeng, which is mainly flat wetlands with the occasional forested area. Then again, very little of the events leading up to this moment had made sense, so Wei Wuxian did not dwell very long on the matter.
Jiang-shushu had remained quiet through most of the trip, and after a few half-hearted attempts at conversation Wei Wuxian had also lapsed into a reluctant silence. Now he leans forward in Li’l Apple’s saddle to better take in the gate towers breaking through the dense treecover around them.
The road widens from a dirtpath to a larger, paved path leading to the gate, which, as in Jiang-shushu’s story, stands slightly ajar. There is an eerie silence in the forest, barring an occasional bird call, or the rustling of a breeze through the trees. Apart from Wei Wuxian and Jiang-shushu, there are no other people – not even a guard in the pair of stately stone gate towers on either side of the entrance.
“A-Xian,” Jiang-shushu breaks the silence, “this is where I leave you.”
Wei Wuxian twists in the saddle to look back at him. “You’re not coming in?” he asks, hoping the nervousness he is feeling does not show in his voice.
Jiang-shushu shakes his head. “I’m sorry,” he says, “the door is closed to me. From here you will have to proceed on your own.”
He looks at Wei Wuxian almost as if he is afraid this is the last time he will see him. Looking into Jiang-shushu’s anxious, tired face, Wei Wuxian sees the new wrinkles around his eyes and mouth he had not appreciated till now. Jiang-shushu always seemed to Wei Wuxian to be untouched by time: the stalwart defender of Wei Wuxian’s childhood, which had been desperate and alone till Jiang-shushu had rescued him, and thoroughly idyllic thereafter.
“Don't worry, Jiang-shushu! I’ll be back to visit as soon as I can,” Wei Wuxian says to the man who is his father in all but name, and he carries Jiang-shushu’s small, disbelieving smile with him through the gates.
***
II.
When Wei Wuxian comes to, he finds he is in the room that had been assigned to him when he arrived. For a moment, he wonders how he'd gotten here - presumably someone (Lan Zhan, his mind supplies) had carried him - then he realizes he isn't sure how he feels about that, so he puts the idea away.
Early morning sunlight filters through his window panes - he'd apparently slept the whole night and the rest of the previous day. There is a feeling in his mouth like cotton, and an ache in his back that comes with too much lazing around (the last said in Yu-furen's sharp, scathing manner).
Gingerly, Wei Wuxian hoists himself up into a sitting position. Almost immediately, the silent room (three, four days in this place and Wei Wuxian still isn't used to the absolute quiet) comes alive.
"He's up!" the breeze - something like a personal retinue - that Wei Wuxian has come to know as Lan Jingyi exclaims, quick, "Sizhui, Zizhen, bring in the breakfast!"
"You're too loud," Lan Shizhui says, "pipe down, Jingyi, it's too early for your nonsense."
"It's not like he can hear us," Jingyi grumbles, in between arranging Wei Wuxian’s breakfast at his bedside.
The breakfast consists of the same bland broth and rice Wei Wuxian has come to expect in this place, but there is a little bottle of chili oil on the tray today. Clearly someone is listening to him. A flicker of warmth blooms in his chest, and despite himself, Wei Wuxian finds he is able to conjure up a smile.
***
Because he can't sulk in his room all day - it isn't part of his character - Wei Wuxian leaves his designated chambers soon after he has eaten. He goes to the stables, first, feeds Li'l Apple and lingers afterward, giving her a thorough, but very unnecessary, brushing down. Li'l Apple has looked plump and well-cared for since they arrived, probably courtesy of Wei Wuxian’s breezes. Li'l Apple is a pretty good listener, though, so Wei Wuxian uses the opportunity to vent, a little.
Later, once he has washed his brushes twice, he wanders aimlessly through the winding corridors of the estate. He has the faintest feeling that he is being watched, despite there being no sign of another living thing in his vicinity. He tries to ignore the feeling as best as he can, deciding instead to enjoy exploring the (?haunted) estate. As usual, no two corners are the same, but still, throughout the course Wei Wuxian finds himself in the proximity of the foreboding Wall of Rules often enough that he becomes convinced he is walking in circles.
He would give up and return to his room, except that he is not sure exactly how to get to his room - another mysterious annoyance he has run into, living in this enchanted estate. He rounds a corner - and there - past a bubbling brook - is the Wall of Rules. There is probably something on the wall about being a filial husband, a message to Wei Wuxian about how badly he is messing up this marriage. Wei Wuxian sighs. He should definitely look for his room, now. What good is exploring if he only ever ends up in the same places?
No sooner has he made up his mind then, at the end of the next long corridor, is the door labeled Wei Ying's Room (he hasn't had an opportunity to ask, but if he had, he would say, how did you know my name before I even came?). Wei Wuxian slips gratefully through it, and, for lack of anything better to do, decides to take a nap.
"Do you think it will ever work out?" he hears Ouyang Zizhen whisper as he drifts off, "I wish they could somehow be happy together."
***
It is evening when Wei Wuxian awakens. He has missed lunch; there is a covered tray by his bedside. He is suddenly sick of being cooped up in this room, of the feeling of being lost and hopeless.
He clears his throat, squares his shoulders. "I'd like to have dinner in the dining room, if it's all the same to you," he says, knowing the breezes are listening. The room descends into a controlled sort of chaos as the breezes endeavor to make Wei Wuxian presentable for dinner outside the confines of his bedroom. A rather silly endeavor, in Wei Wuxian’s opinion, especially since he is almost certainly going to be eating alone.
Sure enough, the dining room is empty when Wei Wuxian arrives. There is still that prickling awareness at the back of his neck - that someone is watching him - that he has felt nearly all day, and, after a few moments of pointlessly trying to ignore the feeling (it does nothing to whet his appetite), Wei Wuxian clears his throat.
"Husband," he says, because who else could it possibly be, "won't you join me for dinner?"
A few long, tense moments elapse. Wei Wuxian begins to think he will go ignored.
Just as he is about to sigh and give up, a faint rustling sounds in the verandah outside the room, followed by a rhythmic clicking noise (claws on wood, Wei Wuxian knows, now), and slowly, Lan Zhan appears - glides, really - into the room, keeping a wary distance from Wei Wuxian.
Once he has taken a few deep breaths and calmed his heartbeat, Wei Wuxian takes several moments to examine his dragon husband.
Lan Zhan is not so frightening now that Wei Wuxian is sure he won't hurt him. After all, if that had been his intention he has had several opportunities to do so already. He is, however, every inch the King of Snakes dragons are purported to be, like from a fairytale, from the curling horns on his head to the silvery white scales covering the length of him. Not scary, perhaps, but definitely intimidating. His eyes are the most bewildering part of him: a deep honey-gold, holding an infinite weariness.
"There you are!" Wei Wuxian says brightly, "I was beginning to think I had offended you unforgivably with my reaction. I am sorry, I was just caught unawares." He says this as blithely as he is able, as if it is common practice for a young man to wake up one day and find he has married a dragon.
"I am sorry," Lan Zhan says, "for the distress - "
Wei Wuxian laughs a little. This is the least expected - and funniest - part of this whole situation, that after practically kidnapping (does it count as kidnapping if Wei Wuxian came willingly?) him, and marrying (and ignoring!) him, in the leadup to the marriage ceremony, and then revealing he is a dragon , well. After all that Lan Zhan is sorry that he caused Wei Wuxian distress?
Wei Wuxian tilts his head. "If that's the case, can I go home to my family?"
If dragons could bite their lips Wei Wuxian is sure Lan Zhan would do just that.
"I am afraid I can't do that," he says, and to his credit he does sound sincerely apologetic.
"Hmm," Wei Wuxian says, "it was worth a shot. Well, in that case, we're going to have to find a way for this to work, aren't we?"
There is another pause. Wei Wuxian is certain this is going to be his life now: full of impregnable pauses. If only dragon faces were easier to read.
Lab Zhan says, "Wei Ying. let me introduce you to the rabbits."
***
It turns out the estate gardens include a field of what seem to be several generations of rabbits - Wei Wuxian’s initial reaction is to assume the animals are livestock, meant to end up on the dinner-table some day, to which Lan Zhan reacts with something like horror.
Apparently he is a vegetarian dragon, something that had escaped Wei Wuxian’s notice.
Teasing Lan Zhan is strangely fun. Playing with the rabbits is even more fun. For the first time since he arrived Wei Wuxian goes to bed that night looking forward to the next day.
***
Things settle into something of a routine, after that. Wei Wuxian rises sometime around midmorning (several hours after Lan Zhan’s customary wakeup time). He breaks fast in his bedroom, courtesy of his breeze-servants. He spends most of the morning in the gardens with Li'l Apple, usually coming back indoors in the afternoon to have lunch with Lan Zhan.
Afternoons and evenings are spent in Lan Zhan’s company - in the library, or listening to Lan Zhan strum his guqin in the conservatory. Lan Zhan, as Wei Wuxian has discovered many times over, is not the most ebullient of conversationalists but he tries, for Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian misses Jiang Cheng and Ajie and Jiang-shushu - he finds he is able to cope better if he avoids thinking about them very long, and after the first week or so he is comfortable enough with his place in Lan Zhan’s home to think it might become something like a home for him, too.
Then one night Lan Zhan says, as Wei Wuxian is getting up from his seat in front of the library's fireplace, rubbing his eyes:
"Wei Ying, do you love me?"
And Wei Wuxian thinks, wait, what?
***
Wei Wuxian wakes up the next morning thinking it must have been his imagination. As if to support this theory, his morning goes as usual. Lan Jingyi and Ouyang Zizhen bicker throughout the breakfast service, ignoring Lan Sizhui as they usually do (he can't hear us, Sizhui!).
Li'l Apple is her usual spoiled self, when Wei Wuxian goes to visit. He walks in the gardens as usual, with Li'l Apple trailing behind him on a lead rope.
"Wei Wuxian!" the voice is so unexpected Wei Wuxian initially thinks he must have been imagining it - but then his name is called out again, with a little more annoyance this time. Wei Wuxian turns to find Jiang Cheng peering at him through the hedge.
"Jiang Cheng! It's so good to see you!"
And it is, even if his didi is wearing his usual grumpy scowl, albeit tinged with relief.
"When you didn't come for the third day visit," Jiang Cheng says, "we worried something had happened to you. Good to know you're doing well."
"Ahh, Jiang Cheng, don't worry, I'm fine! Absolutely great."
For a moment he thinks he might not have fooled Jiang Cheng, but then Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes.
"Fine, if you say so. I know it's probably difficult to let me in so instead," he passes two wrapped packages through the gap in the hedge. "I was able to convince the Jin brothers to help me prove Wen Ruohan seized Adie's assets illegally, so we're back at the Lotus Piers. Now you can start carrying Suibian again like a proper gentleman."
Wei Wuxian can't help but laugh. "As if I have ever been a proper gentleman," he says, and picks up the smaller package. "Is this -"
"I'm sure your husband - whatever he's like otherwise - won't mind your horrible flute playing," Jiang Cheng says.
Wei Wuxian sticks his tongue out at him.
"A-Xian," Jiang Cheng says, "Another thing. Ajie’s getting married soon. Also, she and Jin Zixuan are going to be parents. I don't know how things are for you, but can you come? It is a difficult journey from the Lotus Piers or I'd have brought Ajie to see you."
Difficult journey? It had take Wei Wuxian and Jiang-shushu a few hours to make the trip from the peasant's house, and the Lotus Piers are not much further away.
Wei Wuxian nods. "I'll try my best," he says, and hopes this is a promise he will get to keep - and then Jiang Cheng is gone.
"What do you think he meant," Wei Wuxian says to Li'l Apple, "about the difficult journey?"
On his way up to the house, Wei Wuxian catches wind of the breezes talking.
"The only visitors that come here are the ones Hanguangjun allows," Zizhen is saying, "so how did the brother get in?"
Sizhui says, "must be sheer stubbornness."
Wei Wuxian, who isn't meant to be able to hear them, has to choke back a laugh.
***
In the conservatory, after sunset, Wei Wuxian brings out Chengqing.
"Lan Zhan, look," he says, "we can play duets. I want to play that song, if you don't mind teaching me!"
Many of the songs he has heard Lan Zhan play come from what Wei Wuxian assumes is a family repository - assuming dragons have families. Rather dour sounding pieces, if Wei Wuxian is honest, though some have a soothing effect he does not always mind. Occasionally, though, Lan Zhan will play a different song, one that sounds nothing like the usual pieces. Listening to it makes Wei Wuxian feel warm and shivery all at once, simultaneously anxious and content. It is a beautiful song, Wei Wuxian thinks.
Lan Zhan looks from Wei Wuxian’s instrument to his face, clears his throat (Wei Wuxian had not known dragons could clear their throats, before Lan Zhan).
"I don't mind," he says, "anything for Wei Ying."
They spend a pleasant half hour where Lan Zhan breaks the song into smaller parts so that Wei Wuxian can learn it. Above them, the moon is full in the night sky, a luminescent golden orb in rich velvety blue, rivaling the color of Lan Zhan's eyes.
"What is the song called, Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian asks, when they are halfway through and Lan Zhan decrees he can learn the rest another time.
Lan Zhan says, "it's called Wangxian," and then, after a pause, "Wei Ying, do you love me?"
Wei Wuxian swallows. "Oh," he says, and then, to himself, I wish he wouldn't ask me that.
***
Regardless of Wei Wuxian’s wishes, Lan Zhan’s question to him becomes a part of their routine. Every repetition of it makes Wei Wuxian feel more upset at letting him down - sorrowful, because he knows what Lan Zhan would like him to say but he can't bring himself to say it.
***
Wei Wuxian dreams of his Ajie’s wedding. It is a glamorous affair, befitting of the heavily moneyed Jin sect. Yunmeng Jiang, recently restored to its fortunes, makes a wonderful showing, as is apparent in the richness of Ajie’s bridal wear. She is is radiant bride, as Wei Wuxian knew she would be.
***
A while later, Jiang Cheng visits him again, in the gardens where the hedge has gaps big enough to talk through.
"You have a nephew," Jiang Cheng informs him, looking and sounding happier than Wei Wuxian has seen him in ages, "Jin Ling. You'll come to his hundred day celebration, won't you? Ajie convinced the peacock to let us hold it at the Lotus Piers. Madam Jin made a big fuss but agreed in the end."
He looks a little disappointed when all Wei Wuxian manages is, "I'll try my best."
***
"Lan Zhan, oh Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian says, "my nephew's hundred day celebration is coming up; won't you let me go?"
The look Lan Zhan gives him is so full of hopeless resignation Wei Wuxian hurts a little to be on the receiving end of it.
"I will come back," Wei Wuxian promises, "I won't be away too long, just for a few days."
"Wei Ying," Lan Zhan says, "do you love me?"
Wei Wuxian says, gently, "Lan Zhan, I like you a lot. You are a good friend to me, a best friend. But I am sorry, I don't love you the way you would like me to."
Lan Zhan sighs. It is a deep, earth-rumbling sigh that shakes Wei Wuxian to the core.
"You may go," Lan Zhan says, "to visit your family, but hurry back, Wei Ying, because I do not know I can survive your absence."
***
The return journey is uneventful - and short. Wei Wuxian had left right after sunrise, and he arrives at the Lotus Piers gates before noon. As is customary, the gates are open to all travelers - but Wei Wuxian, being Wei Wuxian, is received differently of course.
Somehow news of his arrival had reached Ajie before he reaches the house; as he comes up to the main door it flies open and Ajie is there, enveloping him in a bone-crushing hug.
"A-Xian," Ajie says - sobs, really, "you came! It's been so long!"
"Let him breathe, Ajie," Jiang Cheng says dryly, "or he won't be alive to greet Jin Ling," but his eyes are bright and open and he does not protest when Wei Wuxian drags him into the hug.
***
Wei Wuxian’s week with his family is punctuated by an underlying sense of urgency - a whisper in the back of his mind that chants must go back, must go back soon during his waking hours.
One more day, Wei Wuxian tells it - after all, Lan Zhan had not specified how many days he could stay, just that the sooner he was back the better, and surely Lan Zhan would not mind if Wei Wuxian stayed one short week? He has missed so much over the last few months - Jin Ling is glorious and beautiful and looks just like his Ajie -
The voice grows steadily more distracting throughout the week, however, and on the seventh night Wei Wuxian has a disturbing dream: Lan Zhan, collapsed in the rabbit field, utterly still.
Wei Wuxian wakes with a start. The movement jostles Jiang Cheng, who sits up, face creased in worry. "Wei Wuxian? It's the middle of the night."
"Jiang Cheng," Wei Wuxian says in a rush, "I have to go. It's my - Lan Zhan, he needs me."
"Can't he wait till morning?" Jiang Cheng asks.
Wei Wuxian is already getting up, gathering his things. "No," he says, "I'm sorry, Jiang Cheng, please give Ajie my love, and apologize to Jiang-shushu and Yu-furen for me - "
He can't quite bring himself to say I'll see you again soon, because it won't be true, now, will it?
The look on Jiang Cheng’s face tells him he understands.
***
Wei Wuxian gets lost on his way back to Lan Zhan.
He has traveled this road only twice, but both times his journey flew past - this time he finds himself and Li'l Apple trudging for hours and hours with no sign of the enchanted estate. Late afternoon - then dusk, and Wei Wuxian is beginning to despair. The image of Lan Zhan, still, unmoving, runs through his mind over and over again. What have I done, he thinks.
The moon is rising over the trees when Wei Wuxian arrives at the gates. He pushes through, uncaring of the splinters that catch his fingers. The gardens are deathly quiet; Wei Wuxian drops Li'l Apple’s halter and runs for the rabbit field, hitching his robes out of the way.
"Lan Zhan," Wei Wuxian calls, "Lan Zhan, I'm home, where are you?"
He arrives in the rabbit field, hoping against hope he will find Lan Zhan sitting against a tree in his usual meditative pose - but at first glance the clearing is silent and empty. Even the rabbits are all gone into their burrows - and there! There is Lan Zhan, collapsed just like in Wei Wuxian's dream - .
Wei Wuxian falls to his knees next to him, lifts his heavy scaled head into his lap, runs his fingers through his mane.
"Lan Zhan," he says, his voice strangled, a quiet broken thing, "I'm sorry I left you. I'm sorry I didn't tell you I love you. I'm so sorry I didn't come back soon enough - "
His breath is coming in little rattling gasps - a fitting thing, he thinks, if he were to go where Lan Zhan has gone. He buries his face in his hands, lets the tears fall.
For several long moments, there is only the sound of the wind rustling the grass and the sound of Wei Wuxian’s sobs.
Then there is a sound like a crack of thunder and a flash of lightening. The weight from Wei Wuxian’s lap disappears. He lifts his head - it is raining, now, water soaking into his hair and robes and all the way down to his bones.
No, Wei Wuxian thinks, the word echoing in his skull, give him back.
Another flash of lightening, and in front of Wei Wuxian, the air shimmers and bends. Lan Zhan’s long, serpentine form is suspended in the air, and as Wei Wuxian watches, his edges blur and shift.
Where Lan Zhan had once been there is now a human man - tall and broad shouldered, with long dark hair and terribly weary honey-gold eyes. His eyes find Wei Wuxian’s and hold.
For the second time in his life, Wei Wuxian crumples in place.
***
Wei Wuxian comes to with his head cradled in a stranger's lap. He had been carried indoors, at some point, and is now in the library, in front of a roaring fire. He is clean and dressed in dry clothes, and the stranger who is holding him is staring into his face.
"Wei Ying," the stranger says, soundly oddly familiar. His face is beautiful like jade statues are beautiful, almost inhumanly so (not quite like a dragon - ).
Wei Wuxian swallows against the lump in his throat, tries to push the beautiful stranger away, but his limbs feel heavy and formless. "Lan Zhan," he says, "I want my Lan Zhan."
A hand comes to caress Wei Wuxian's face, brushes his hair off his forehead. Cool lips press briefly against his temple, and as he draws back Wei Wxuain hears the notes to a familiar melody.
"Wei Ying," the stranger - no, Lan Zhan- Lan Zhan says, infinitely gentle, and something in Wei Wuxian's heart sings, "it's me."
-end.