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“You can’t just keep doing this, Kakashi. It’s belittling. It is clear favoritism amongst your other subordinates. And – and it dishonors me as a shinobi… It has to stop.”
Tenzo hastily peeled away at armor pieces, tossing them into his locker as he went, never-minding his typical meticulous tendencies in the heat of raging frustration. His Captain, shoulders slumped and eyes distant, simply stood, staring blankly into his own locker.
“And what’s worse,” Tenzo continued. “Your decision to hold me back, got you wounded! That blow would have killed anyone else – and the only reason it didn’t kill you is because you were able to so narrowly escape the full impact. What if our target had come after someone without your Sharingan? What if backup hadn’t made it to you in time to allow you to withdraw?”
“But they did, and I’m fine,” Kakashi countered with weak conviction. “There is risk for all of us in this job, Tenzo.”
“Then let me have mine, Captain!” Tenzo roared back, slamming his locker shut and whipping around. “I should have had your guard and you know it. No one needed to remain behind. I’ll have you try and spare me no longer. I’m not a child, Kakashi! I’m a shinobi – I will not sit idly by and be stripped of my duty!”
Throwing a sharp look over his shoulder, Kakashi snapped back low and sharp, “Your duty is to obey the orders of your Captain.”
“My duty is to serve my village! As is yours. It would do you well to remember that, Captain, and to stop this selfishness…”
Striding away in indignant huff, Tenzo mumbled behind himself, “Don’t bother waiting up for me; I’m staying in my room tonight…”
Alone, Kakashi flexed lanky, tired fingers, trying to force his breathing into submission. Tenzo had been right, of course, in his accusation. The last few months since the pair of them had finally admitted the honesty of their affections and come together as a couple, Kakashi had been pulling punches away from his beloved subordinate. Things had started small, keeping a step ahead of him to serve as a shield, assigning others out on independent missions, requiring Tenzo to serve as a backup to his comrades rather than charge forward on the front lines as he had before. But now, Kakashi had shifted his orders, requiring his love to stay back while the others pressed ahead and onto the battlefield. Three times this had happened now. Three missions and there were no longer excuses enough to answer for this behavior.
Tenzo’s outrage and embarrassment were warranted, and yet, his Captain remained locked in anxiety and instinct, in a complete loss for what he was to do.
His room felt all the more quiet and cold as he crawled into bed alone, aching for the warmth and forgiveness of his love, hands fumbling over gauze and blood as his fresh wounds sizzled under sterilizing soak.
“Would you let me help you with that?”
Darting his eyes through the dark, Kakashi caught the sight of Tenzo, stiff, and standing in the doorway.
“Tenzo… I… Sure…” he murmured in response, gaze quickly falling back into the mess in his hands.
“Here,” the brunette offered, taking gauze and rag. “Just lay back for me. Try to relax.”
Letting out a focused breath, Tenzo imagined it was another man before him with the gaping gash crawling up from hip to chest, not his beloved, not his Kakashi, whom he’d been unable to protect.
“Tenzo,” Kakashi started. “I’m-I’m sorry…”
“You should be. But, just be quiet for now, alright? We’ll sort this out later. You need to rest and recover. There.”
Freshly dressed wound and a tight bandage application had Tenzo withdrawing his hands, eyes flicking up to catch against the mismatched pair bearing into him with grief and broken loss.
“That’s just it though, I don’t know how to rest my mind from this. I don’t know how we’ll sort it out later…” Kakashi confessed. “I can’t lose you… and my orders are what might seal that fate… It’s not that I don’t believe in you – that I see you as a child, or a helpless civilian… I just… I need you to be safe…”
Exhaling gently, Tenzo grazed a hand over the pale cheek of his love.
“You think I don’t also need you to be safe?” he questioned softly. “You don’t think the majority of my frustrations come from being told to watch helplessly from behind while you throw yourself into danger in front of me? Kakashi, I need you to be safe, just as much as you need for me to be safe… Perhaps more…”
The Captain rolled his eyes at this, answering in a scoff, despite the small smile that broke over his lips.
“What kind of logic brings you to that conclusion?”
“Because, Senpai,” Tenzo breathed, his own smile breaking. “I would be lost without you. My duty is to my Captain.”
Kakashi swallowed hard, cheeks and chest flushing.
“So,” Tenzo continued. “You have to let me protect you, as you protect me.”
He met their foreheads and locked their eyes, candlelight flickering over the pair of them.
“And that is not your burden to bear, not your orders that send me into danger,” Tenzo continued. “Because, from here on out, I am going to guard you regardless of what you order, my Captain, and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
A kiss interrupted the soft laugh that melted out of Kakashi.
“Quite insubordinate of you, Kohai…” Kakashi sassed back once their kiss had broken. “What am I to do with a rebel like that on the team?”
“You can trust him, respect him, assign him accordingly, and,” Tenzo paused a moment to pull his thumb down over his Captain’s thick and quivering bottom lip. “You can kiss him again.”
Kakashi nodded with a hum of agreement and an earnest smirk.
“I’ll see what I can do…”