Chapter Text
Neville was in bed, reading the latest Herbology journal that had been delivered a few days before, when Pansy left the bathroom and threw something at his head.
“There!” Pansy said, from the doorway, arms crossed in front of her chest. She was still wearing the pretty green robe that she had wrapped around herself as she left the bed that morning.
“What is this?” He asked, confused, looking at the little strip of something that she had thrown at him.
“It’s a muggle pregnancy test. The Ministry offered us a bunch in their care package. I pee on them and…” Pansy looked at him, maybe waiting for a different reaction from him. “Pity, I wanted to hear you scream about touching something that touched my urine.”
“Is it positive or negative?” Neville asked, climbing out of bed and waking in her direction. But the woman, his wife, he needed to remember himself, took a few steps back. Keeping the distance between them. “I’m sorry, I forgot.”
“It’s the only thing I ask of you, Longbottom.”
“It’s not like it’s my favourite thing to do, not being able to touch my wife, you know?” He sighed, keeping his eyes on the pregnancy test strip.
“I’m only your wife until this stupid marriage law ends. After that, after that, we part our ways, and you’ll never see me again.” She explained.
“We will have a baby now, Pansy. I’ll see you again, even if we divorce.” And there was a strength in his voice that made her shiver. “I’ll be on this baby’s life, you know that. Sit here, let’s talk, love.” He patted the bed beside him.
“Don’t call me that! Don’t call me love, Longbottom! Never! I’m not your little love or your big love, I’m not even your lover. I have mandatory intercourse with you, following the terms of the law. And now I’m already with child, so we won’t engage in that any longer.” She stated, closing the bathroom door once again.
Neville groaned, pulling on his hair. It had been 6 weeks since the ceremony at the Ministry, and 12 since the announcement of the marriage law. He thought time would help her warm up a little, but she was still as distant as before. Maybe even more distant, with higher walls.
He left the bedroom and walked to his bathroom. Pansy had taken the ensuite in their new apartment. The Slytherin had made it pretty clear that she wouldn’t be moving to Longbottom Manor. So he bought a little flat in London for the two of them. And that’s where they were living for the time being. It was so empty, no personality, no pictures. It wasn’t a home; it was just a house.
He was brushing his teeth when he heard a loud thud. “What in Godric’s Sword?” Neville didn’t see anything out of place, not that they owned anything heavy to make that sound. And then something clicked in his mind. Pansy.
“Pansy? Pansy? Pansy? Open the door!” He knocked on the ensuite’s door, and when he got no answer but the water running. He raised his wand and cast a quick alohomora. He found his wife laying on the middle of the floor. “Pansy? Pansy? Can you hear me?”
No reply came from her as he touched her neck, trying to find a pulse. And there it was, blood flowing steadily through her arteries and veins. “I know you don’t like me to touch you, but I’m not letting you here on the floor.” He wasn’t sure why he was speaking to her while she was unconscious, but he couldn’t stop himself. Speaking to her without her harsh replies was a breath of fresh air.
Neville picked her up, gently. It was the first time that he was holding her like that. In his arms. She fit so perfectly. He hadn’t realised how small she was compared to him. And she was shivering. Neville placed his lips against her forehead. “Oh, Merlin, sweet Merlin,” He cursed, feeling her burning up. “It will be okay, don’t worry, Pansy.”
He didn’t even remember sending the Patronus, but a few minutes later Millicent Bulstrode was coming through the floo. “Healers incoming… Longbottom, you can put her down. How did she got hurt?”
Only then did he realise that he was still holding her in his arms. He put her down on the bed so gently, stroking the short strands of raven hair away from her face. “I don’t know. I heard her fall, and I rushed to her. She has a fever.”
Millie instructed the other healer to start checking Pansy's vitals, and Neville took a few steps back, sitting on one of the armchairs. He didn’t even care if he was sitting on top of her clothes. He almost wished she would wake up and scream at him because he was wrinkling her fancy outfits.
“Longbottom? Longbottom?” Millie was snapping her fingers at him. “How has she been feeling in the last couple of days? Any changes in her appetite? In her sleeping habits? Has she complained about pain or nausea?”
Neville shook his head. She hadn’t complained about anything. Pansy was healthy. She exercised daily. She only ate healthy things. He was even planning on starting a little garden for them on the balcony. She had a daily skincare routine that took way too long. The Gryffindor never told her, because she would hex him as soon as the words left his mouth, but he loved the smell and the taste of her moisturiser in her skin, it always remembered him of the ocean.
“We should take her to St Mungos, Healer Bulstrode.” The younger wizard that was accompanying Millie said. “If we can’t find the reason behind her fever.”
Millie nodded. “I agree. Prepare her to transport, Training Healer Gerlinger.”
They were already in the sitting room, with Pansy levitating between the two healers, when Neville suddenly remembered. The pregnancy test. He had taken it to the other bathroom with him. “She’s pregnant… She told me this morning.”
“Oh, for Salazar Slytherin’s Saggy Testicles, Longbottom! That changes everything! I would strangle you if I could!” She was still cursing as she made her way back to the bedroom.
Neville followed after them. He did not know what Millie was talking about with her trainee, so he sat on the edge of the bed, stroking her hair. “You’ll be okay…”
He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Millie smiling at him. “She will be okay. Now that we know she’s pregnant, we know why she’s still unconscious and feverish. And what is that, Training Healer Gerlinger?”
“MGPS?” the young man asked, looking from a little book that he had summoned from his robes.
Millie nodded. “Yes. It stands for Magical Gestational Pyrexia & Syncope. It basically means that she will have fever and fainting spells…”
“For how long?” He asked.
“It depends… some women have it during all pregnancy… others only during the first few weeks. Only time will tell…” Millie said.
“What can I do until she gets better?” The Gryffindor inquired, his eyes shifting to his wife.
“Keep her comfortable…”
“For Merlin’s sake, Gerlinger! You can’t just say things like that! Keep her comfortable… she’s not dying!” And her indignation with the young healer made Neville laugh. “Glad you’re enjoying yourself, Longbottom.”
“I’m sorry, I was so worried… but she will be fine…” The Gryffindor confessed, taking his wife’s hand and depositing a kiss there, feeling the salty sting on her skin. “A wet cloth? Can I?”
“Of course. Training Healer Gerlinger will go back to St Mungo's and get some pregnancy potions for Pansy and I will help you.” Millie said, pointing to the door. The young man left a heartbeat later.
“What will she need from me?” Neville asked.
“Constant care… she can’t be really alone for long while she’s suffering from MGPS. Cooking alone, bathing alone-”
“She’s going to love this…” Neville joked, shaking his head. She would kill him, hex him, if he even tried to touch her. It was the only thing that she truly asked of him. No touching him unless it was sex time. No cuddling, no hugs, no nothing. And now she would need him 24/7.
“Yes, yes, she is.” Millie chuckled, coming back with a bowl of water and a sponge, and Pansy’s bag of cosmetics. “But will be okay. I think by the end of it, you two will be closer than ever.”
“Or dead…” The Gryffindor whispered under his breath.
“She hydrates her hands way too many times a day, always did, even back at Hogwarts. So I think it’s something you can do for her while she’s unconscious. It will also help keep your mind busy, and out of worrying too much.” The healer said. “And don’t deny it, I know you’re worried.”
“I’m so fucking worried, Millicent,” Nev confessed, taking the sponge and the cloth from her hands, and gently vanishing the sweat from Pansy’s face, neck, arms and hands. “Our relationship was complicated, ever since the marriage law started and we were forced together.”
“And now she’s pregnant, and everything changes.” Millie smiled. “Look at my hands, just a gentle massage, the palm, the back of her hands and her fingers, even stretching a little bit the joints.”
“I don’t believe anything will change-”
“Don’t lose hope, Longbottom. She’s as stubborn as they come, but if there’s someone who can make her walls crumble, it’s the general himself.” Millie said.
“No one calls me that, much less Pansy.” Neville sighed.
Healers Bulstrode and Gerlinger had left a couple of minutes ago. The top of the dresser, which had been empty until now, was covered with different vials with potions of different colours. Morning, evenings and before bed. There was a potion for every occasion. If she was awake or unconscious.
Neville sat on vigil beside her in bed until she moved, groaning. “It’s okay, Pansy… it’s okay. You’re okay…” He whispered, stroking her cheek.
“My head hurts…” she groaned again, leaning into his touch. He knew that she didn’t mean it, but it put a smile on his face.
“I know, love, I know,” Neville said, and summoned a pain potion. “Here, a little sip and you’ll feel better.”
She did as he said, drinking the potion, and a few seconds later she sighed in relief, turning on the bed, so she was facing the other way. The Gryffindor pulled away, keeping his hands for himself. “What happened?” She asked. “The last thing I remember is showing you the pregnancy test.”
“You passed out a few minutes later… and had a fever. I called the healers. Millicent Bulstrode diagnosed you with MGPS, it’s a syndrome that can happen during pregnancy for some witches.” He had read the little pamphlet so many times.
“I know what it is… my mother had it while she was pregnant with my sister. It was exactly what I needed, to feel disabled during 9 months.” She snuffled. “To not be allowed to be on my own for one hour…”
And it broke something inside of Neville to hear her sounding so sad. It wasn’t the anger or disappointment that she used to speak with him; it was something else. “What can I do to help? Shall I get us an elf, to help you? To care for you? Shall I call for your mother?”
“Merlin, no! No!” And she did something that she had never done before. Pansy reached for him. She touched his hands. “I hate elves, they’re the ugliest thing, they scared me. And never, never mention my mother. We don’t have that kind of relationship, she won’t come to take care of me.”
He squeezed her hand, gently. “Okay, Pansy. But in that case, you’ll need to allow me to help you. You understand that… if you don’t want anyone else around, you need to trust me.”
Pansy sighed, but nodded. “Don’t get attached, Longbottom.”
He chuckled. If only she knew how attached he already was. “I’ll do my best. Now, do you want something to eat?” He asked.
“Spaghetti?”
Neville smiled. “Sure. That one you like with mushrooms, broccoli and tomato?” His wife nodded, getting more comfortable on the bed. “You call if you need anything. Anything do you hear me?”
He tried to lean down to kiss her forehead, but she pulled away. “Longbottom! No! Bad Longbottom! You don’t want to take advantage of me like that. Do you? Your poor ill wife?”
“Sorry, sorry… I… Sorry. I’m going to make you some food.” Neville left the room faster than one could say Snitch. “Stupid, so stupid, so so stupid.” The Gryffindor murmured all the way to the kitchen. He was just so relieved that she had woken and accepted his help.
It was a miracle on its own. He couldn’t ruin it by trying to get close to her, not too fast, at least.
The pasta was almost finished when he heard her groan. “Pans?” He rushed to the bedroom to find her holding tightly into the doorway that led to the bathroom. “What are you doing?”
“I was trying to use the dam loo by myself, like a normal being, and I got dizzy with three footsteps.” She groaned, looking anywhere but at him.
The Gryffindor held one hand for her, which she quickly took. “What if I help you into-” She made a disappointed noise. “If I help you into it and then leave to finish the food, and then come back when you’re finished. I won’t even look…”
“Fine…” She sighed. “Only this once…”
Neville nodded, keeping the comment for himself, that she would probably still need his help tomorrow and the day after, until she recovered from the illness. “Call for me if you need anything. And for the sweet sword of Gryffindor, don’t try to get up alone. I don’t want you to get hurt. Hitting your head on the bathroom tiles twice in the same day doesn’t seem like the wisest plan.”
“Leave, Longbottom. Before I hex you.”
He did just that, leaving the door ajar, in case she needed him. Nev finished the food, bringing the two trays for the bedroom. With a flick of his wand, the bed remade itself, all the fluffy pillows she enjoyed back to their rightful places. He put his tray on the armchair and hers on the bed, before knocking on the bathroom.
“Can I?” He asked, and when she gave her consent, Neville found her sitting exactly where he had left her. And the words good girl almost left his mouth. He helped her back onto her feet, keeping his hands steady on her waist. He would never expect a thank you from her lips, but the fact that she allowed him to touch her was enough.
Pansy ate her spaghetti and vegetables faster than Neville had ever seen her eat anything. “Want some more?” He asked, getting to his feet.
“No. I’m good. It was delicious, but any more and I would get sick.” She said, tapping her lips on the napkin.
“Anything else I can get for you?” He put his plate on the floor and got to his feet.
“Sit down and finish your food, Neville Longbottom!” she ordered from the bed.
“Yes, Ma’am.” The young man smirked, doing as she said, and finishing his meal. And she was just watching him from bed, sitting as proper as a Queen.
“Good. Now that you’re done, would you please get me my night cream? It’s bad enough I’m ill and on bed rest. I won’t get wrinkles now as well. And pregnancy is such a strain for the skin.” She sighed. “I hate not being able to trust on my magic. Did the healer told you that as well?” Nev nodded. “This child better display magic as soon as it’s born for all the anguish it will put me through.”
“I didn’t even know you had a sister until you mentioned her,” Neville said, coming back from the bathroom with her jar of cream.
“No, not that one. That one is a mask to wear during the bath. It’s the steam that activates its properties. The night cream is the dark blue jar. And don’t try to summon. Merlin, help me if you break any of them.” Pansy sighed.
Neville came back with the right jar, a hairband, a mirror as well. “I pay attention.”
“More than I ever gave you credit for…” she whispered, pulling her fringe back with the hairband.
“Would you like me to go to sleep in another bedroom from now on?” He asked.
Until then they had only slept on the same bed because they had fallen asleep after they had sex, but Pansy was already pregnant. There was no need for it. Was there? And Pansy always charmed a wall of pillows between them.
“You can stay… But you must charm the barrier the same way. You can help me while I’m not recovered, but no cuddling, no need for unnecessary touching.” She explained.
“No unnecessary touching.” He agreed and reminded himself of those words whenever he looked at her.