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manfred von karma had finally decided on a new career path.
a certain case had sparked an interest in the culinary arts, and manfred von karma was determined to be the very best chef. like no one ever was. to cook them was his real test, to bake them was his cause.
so after a while, after his bakery started becoming popular, and he was advised to stay in the back room while customers bought their food lest they be scared off, he was not surprised to get a letter in his mailbox that invited him to be a contestant on a certain reality show.
manfred von karma slammed open the door and rushed upstairs.
"franziska. franziska my daughter you have to see this it is extremely important. franziska." he said in a voice that was not exactly yelling but in a loud way that made it clear that he was very excited.
franziska von karma came out of her room and looked confused.
"papa you do not usually run up the stairs shouting and holding a letter, is something the matter?" said franziska von karma.
"no, it is the opposite of the matter. we are going to..." manfred von karma paused for dramatic effect. "the cupcake wars."
"what is that," said franziska von karma.
"it is a television program in which contestants bake cupcakes and are judged extremely harshly by a french man, among other judges, to see which cupcakes are eligible to be served at various high-profile events. if you win you recieve a monetary prize, but if your cupcakes are not good enough you are sent home with only your shame."
franziska von karma considered this. "that sounds like a lot of unnecessary hassle to get money. we have so much money already," she said.
manfred von karma stared at franziska von karma for a long time.
franziska von karma sighed. "i will pack my belongings."
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"welcome! today we will be competing for the right to have our cupcakes displayed at the premier of 'pink princess: warrior of little olde tokyo: the movie', which will be three weeks from now," exclaimed the cupcake wars host. "our guest judge today is the pink princess herself!"
somebody in a very pink costume was sitting at the judge table. they proceeded to wave.
"alright! for the first round, these are the ingredients you'll be using..."
manfred von karma was not paying attention to the host. he was paying attention to one of the other contestants.
"and if you're all ready, we'll start--"
"excuse me, but why is he here," asked manfred von karma of the host.
"pardon?" was the reply.
"him," said manfred von karma. he pointed at the person to his left, who was in fact none other than gregory edgeworth.
"well, he is a contestant," said the host, confused.
"no. he is not a contestant, because he does not make cupcakes. i have never seen him make a cupcake. his cupcakes are probably awful. why is gregory edgeworth here on a cupcake show. tell me," said manfred von karma.
the host cleared his throat. "well, we'll be starting now--"
"no. we will not be starting now, not until gregory edgeworth tells me why he has followed me here."
"i received an invitation," said gregory edgeworth.
manfred von karma stood there, bamboozled.
"okay, we are starting," said the host. and then they started.
manfred von karma and franziska von karma quickly got to work on their cupcakes, using ingredients from the selection that had been provided. the first round was cleared easily, by both team von karma and team edgeworth (gregory and miles). a strangely generic and unmemorable contestant was disqualified. the game went on.
in the next round, they had to make three cupcakes, each fitting the theme of the pink princess. therefore, manfred von karma decided that each cupcake should be a different shade of pink.
"it is a foolproof plan," said manfred von karma.
"i was going to say that," said franziska von karma.
one of the cupcakes was white with very light pink icing and had a fondant sword on it. the second was a darker pink and had white icing with red sprinkles. the last was light pink with hot pink icing, with the kanji on the princess' shoulder on top in fondant.
"there is so much pink in these cupcakes. there is too much pink in these cupcakes," said manfred von karma.
"at least we are not the ones who have to eat them," said franziska von karma.
when manfred von karma looked over at gregory and miles edgeworth's cupcakes, he was stunned to see that they had also made pink cupcakes.
"that son of a gun has stolen my idea to make the cupcakes pink," said a livid manfred von karma.
"perhaps he was also inspired by the name and theme color of the pink princess," suggested franziska von karma.
"that could not possibly be it," said manfred von karma. "he must be plagiarizing me. that is the only explanation."
the french judge yelled at the second unremarkable contestant for making a cupcake with no decorations. both of the important teams progressed to round 3.
the third round required the remaining contestants to bake one thousand cupcakes and design a display, and then display the cupcakes on the display.
"quick, what is the pink princess about," asked manfred von karma.
"i do not know. a princess? who is pink? and she fights?" said franziska von karma, clearly grasping. "if only miles edgeworth was on my team, and not you, who does not know anything about popular childrens' television."
"i also am finding myself wishing miles were on my team," said manfred von karma.
they both wasted some time standing there being slightly insulted by each other.
"i just remembered we have to make actually a thousand entire cupcakes," said manfred von karma.
"oh," said franziska von karma.
they began to design the display. having completely forgotten about the pink princess, they decided to make a display based on the best thing they could think of: prosecution. it would be very tall, with badges glued onto the edges of each layer, and cartoonish pictures of both of their faces on top.
"this is perfect," said manfred von karma.
meanwhile, at the judges' table, the person wearing the pink princess outfit moved to take off the helmet. underneath was, in a turn of events only genuinely surprising to one person, wendy oldbag.
miles edgeworth was the person that was surprised by this turn of events.
"noooooooooooooo," yelled miles, accidentally dropping ten cupcakes on the floor.
manfred von karma laughed internally. "this is wonderful. now they do not have a thousand cupcakes. we will definitely win this," he thought to himself.
when time was up, both teams stood before the judges, their displays behind them. the von karmas' display was exactly as they had planned it. it was full of pink cupcakes and looked very threatening. the edgeworths, however, had made a lovingly crafted tower of pastries, backed by a life-sized cutout of the pink princess, full of ribbons and sparkles. the two displays beside each other looked like the gates to hell and something out of a care bears cartoon, respectively.
the judges conversed. manfred von karma glared daggers at gregory edgeworth, who stared back with the look of a concerned dad, which he was. it was time.
the host cleared his throat.
"the judges have given it a lot of thought, and in the end... we have to go with the display that actually looks like it belongs here."
manfred von karma and gregory edgeworth looked at the host expectantly.
"team edgeworth, congratulations. you have won the cupcake war."
confetti fell from the ceiling as gregory edgeworth and miles did a fist-bump and high-five combination of the sort that one might see teenagers do.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA," yelled manfred von karma, as he kicked over his display. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
"papa please stop," said franziska von karma.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA," responded manfred von karma. he then punched gregory edgeworth's display.
"manfred please stop," said gregory edgeworth.
manfred von karma curled up on the floor and began sobbing.
"we- we can't air this," said the host.
in the end, gregory edgeworth carried manfred von karma home and baked him cupcakes. this only furthered manfred von karma's wrath. franziska von karma decided to decline any further requests to go on reality tv. miles edgeworth stopped watching the pink princess and instead watched old vhs tapes of the steel samurai over and over and over. cupcake wars stopped being aired in seven countries.
the end