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Kaz was hesitant when Inej asked about a wedding. He was satisfied with the simple marriage contract they signed with Jesper as witness. It was a quiet ceremony - well if you could call it a ceremony - in an abandoned barn in Lij.
When Inej’s parents found out about the make-shift ceremony, they were aghast. You must have a Traditional wedding, they said - even if small. Traditional Suli ceremonies went on for multiple days and had nearly 40 rituals, each complex and sacred, meant to honor the bond between the couple. They were giant, boisterous events with dancing and singing and gold rings and thrown rice.
Kaz was terrified to be honest. Not so much because of the unfamiliar traditions, but because he could never think of time he was so exposed in his life. Declaring his love for someone would be directly opposed to his private lifestyle. He always kept his cards close to him for safety reasons. He couldn’t bear the thought of Inej being used against him again.
And most of all, he’d never been so open about his affection for Inej. He thought about the touches they would share with all eyes on them. The touches between them were usually reserved for late afternoons in the bathroom or sitting by each other on the roof at dawn after Inej came back from a voyage and the-
“In Suli culture, it is traditional for the bride and groom not to kiss. Instead, the bride and groom hold hands. And the groom ties a knot around the bride signifying the bond between them.” Inej reassured him as they discussed the ceremony.
Kaz was increasingly getting more agitated and paler as he sat across from Inej at his office desk.
“Kaz, if you want out. I can tell my parents. I know they’re pushy, but they don’t want to torture you,” Inej looked at Kaz dead in the eye.
“No,” Kaz looked back with the same seriousness. “This is important to you and your parents. I can do this for them.”
“And what about you. Do you want this,” Inej leveled a stare at him.
Kaz was quiet.
“I do. Without armor,” he looked back at her with a determined gaze. He then leaned back to sit straight in his chair breathing in like he was readying himself for battle.
One ceremony Inej mentioned, but quickly dismissed was the Haldi ceremony. She thought it would be out of the question: A pre wedding ceremony where the bride and groom have bright yellow Turmeric paste applied to the face, neck, hands and legs by the bride and groom’s family. It sounded daunting to Kaz but he didn’t want him to miss out on a ceremony that meant so much. It was said to be bad luck if the Haldi was not held.
He agreed if it meant he could apply the paste to himself. And Inej agreed that would be best. It was meant to be a joyful ritual where friends and family gathered and got to relieve the bride and groom of the pre-wedding stresses by slathering on the paste and making a huge mess. The paste was meant to ease nerves before the wedding day and its bright yellow color was meant to bring prosperity to the couple
Two days before the wedding Kaz was sitting next to Inej on a low couch outside in a dusty field. A canopy shaded them and they sat with a slight inch between them. To an outsider, they looked like friends -almost distant. But any of the crows would know this was closer than Kaz had ever sat next to anyone in his life. Surrounding them were the crows and Inej’s parents. Only a few distant relatives came from Inej’s side, but other than that it was a considerably smaller crowd than usual for the wedding.
Inej was dressed in a brilliant orange blouse covered by a yellow cotton saree. She looked like the sun. And her skin was glowing. Kaz was dressed in simple cotton trousers and Suli sherwani, a long coatlike tunic. His sherwani was a faded yellow that let Inej shine next to him.
After the traditional prayer, a pounding music began with plucking strings and a driving rhythm. The musicians were dancing while singing a lilting tune as one-by-one Inej’s parents and the crows took the yellow paste and applied it to her face and arms.
Inej’s mother took the basin with the paste and gently doused her fingers and spread the paste on Inej’s cheeks and arms. Her father gently applied it to her legs.
Jesper was eager and dunked his palms in the paste and slathered it all over Inej’s hair while Inej glared back at him. Kaz tried to stop himself from laughing. He was still dry and had not started applying the paste so Inej gave him a pointed look.
Kaz sighed and took his gloves next to his lap. They were a pale yellow color. They were embroidered with gold by Inej’s mother. He slipped them on and dipped them in the paste. The cool sensation felt strange against his palm as the cloth stuck to his hand. He slathered it all over his face and Inej cackled so hard she almost fell out of the chair. Jesper looked like he was going to faint.
The ceremony continued. Wylan dipped a pinky in and spread the bright yellow paste under Inej’s eye. He was so gentle, the paste didn’t show. Colm Fahey smiled at Inej and took some and gently dabbed her cheek. Nina gave a devilish grin and slathered the paste all over Inej’s arms. Kaz was sad to see the elaborate henna patterns covering Inej’s arms camouflaged by the thick yellow paste. Before the wedding, Inej’s mother had applied henna to Inej the day before. Interlacing leaves and criss crossings designs swathed her arms and palms like flowery spiderwebs. It darkened to a nearly black color the next day and it was beautiful.
“Kaz, C’mon you barely tried,” Inej was laughing so hard now. It was contagious and Kaz couldn’t stop himself smiling. He dipped his palms in the yellow some more and slathered his arms and legs so you couldn’t see his skin. The paste cool to the touch and soothing in the hot sun. He turned to give Inej a look to say I did it . But Inej’s back was turned. She seemed to be grabbing something underneath the couch. It looked like matching red gloves with gold embroidery. The same pattern on Kaz’s gloves. Inej slipped them on and the bustling laughter and cheering grew quiet. Even the music dimmed a bit.
Kaz swallowed as he anticipated what Inej would do. Until then, no one had been mentioning how lonely it had looked to see all of Inej’s friends and family gather around Inej and lavish her with friendly touches while Kaz sat politely looking on. It was obvious how empty the space was next to Kaz where his extended family would have stood.
“Kaz, is this-,” Inej held her palms toward him. She looked concerned.
“Yes,” Kaz gave her a comforting smile. Inej looked more nervous them him as she placed them in the yellow basin and then hovered her hands over his face.
He held his breath as he readied himself.
She placed them on his cheeks. The damp touch was cool and the embroidery was itchy against his cheek. Her touch was soft. He breathed out in a puff and his eyes were fixed on her dark pools of eyes.
She released quickly but her touch still lingered.
The tiny crowd erupted and you would have thought the whole village had come. The music escalated and shook and it felt like the ground was shaking.
Inej started laughing again and this time Kaz couldn’t stop himself from joining in and he was leaning toward her but not touching. She also leaned toward him but with a respectful distance. Her warmth ghosting next to his shoulder and the medicinal scent of the mehndi - the henna - hung between them.
If this was just the beginning of the wedding, he wondered, how much better could it get. He already felt like they were married now.
--
On the day of the wedding, Kaz awoke feeling surprisingly calm. He stood in front of the mirror wearing a tan sherwani. It was simple with subtle deep brown embroidery laced around that collar and down the center around the buttons and at the cuffs. The high collar emphasized his sharp cheekbones and his hair usually cut messily was now patted and combed back neatly.
The wedding procession was a tad over the top, Kaz had to admit, but he enjoyed the dramatic flare. He had ridden on a white horse to the same abandoned barn where they had said their vows before. As he neared the great white tent set outside that provided shade to the guests, he heard the distant drumming music and metallic zinging of the sitar and the raucous rattling. He hoped it was remote enough that none of the rival gangs would catch wind of it.
Rotty, Specht, and the crows were jumping up and down on the road behind him wooping and howling. Colm followed behind at a more reasonable pace. Rice was thrown in the air as he went down a well trodden pathway towards the barn. He rolled his eyes.
As he dismounted from the horse, Inej’s mother greeted him and gave him a warm hug. She wore a bright yellow sari and head covering. Her hands were covered by tan gloves. Her embrace was brief as Inej had informed her of Kaz's condition. It was okay. The touch was unthreatening but Kaz did still feel his chest tighten. She also applied a red dot, tilak , to his forehead. Meanwhile, Inej’s father took a garland and placed it over Colm. In some ways, Colm was a father to Kaz so this was the closest Kaz would get to having his parents here. Kaz felt his stomach clench at the thought of his parents. Seeing Colm smile with his red flowers seemed like enough for Kaz. Enough like a father.
Inej’s mother led him to the mouth of the barn where Inej stood with a flower garland laden with red flowers. She lifted her arms to lay them over his head. And he did the same, careful to not brush her neck. But he did caress the head covering.
Inej was stunning in a radiant red sari that was embroidered with gold trim. Her sash was shimmering with its intricate gold leaf design. Her collar was filled with gold necklaces. One necklace stood out. A cool turquoise jade pearl necklace that Kaz had gifted her with at the Winter Fête. A glittering jewel was fixed to her forehead and her arms filled with gold bangles and glimmering earrings hung from her ears. A simple nose ring dangled from her left nostril, its ribbed chain attached behind her ear signifying that she was to be married.
“Looks heavy,” Kaz remarked. Inej shushed him.
Kaz was led to the altar to wait for Inej. He was followed by Jesper, Wylan, Rotty, and Specht all dressed in shades of tan but none as light as Kaz’s coat. The wedding alter was a simple tent. The mandap, the canopy with bright orange and white flowers enladen all around. The officiant, Colm Fahey stood nervously in waiting.
Then came the Kanyadaan . The moment that the father gives away the bride. In Suli tradition, a groom cannot marry until the father offers the bride. Inej emerged from the side of the barn with her arm tucked in with her father’s. Inej’s father was smiling but he looked nearly in tears as they shuffled slowly toward Kaz. Inej’s dress was a tad too long.
As she neared, it felt like Kaz’s chest was going to explode. The pounding in his ear felt audible. He wondered if anyone could hear it.
Inej’s father turned to her and took her hand, bringing it to meet Kaz’s ungloved hand. Her touch was not a threat anymore. But it still sent an electric shock through him. Inej audibly gasped. This was the beginning of the ceremony of giving away the bride.
As he recited the hymn to love, he felt like his throat was closing in. Not from fear, but from pure energy. He couldn’t believe this was happening. It was strange marrying before saints he didn’t believe in. Yet, he felt so much devotion in this moment to pledge his life for Inej. Then came promising to Inej’s father that he would not fail Inej. It all passed so fast.
Next the Panigrahana - holding the hand ritual. It was a way to symbolize the union that would take place while the groom acknowledged his responsibility to care for his wife to the deities.
Kaz and Inej faced each other sitting on embroidered white linen cloth. Kaz reached out this time and took Inej’s hand in his. Her touch was soft and warm against his skin. He shuddered a little as fear prickled on his neck. He took a deep breath a recited the mantra:
“ I take thy hand in mine, yearning for happiness
I ask thee, to live with me, as thy husband
Till both of us, with age, grow old
Know this, as I declare that the Gods …”
While he spoke, Inej’s dark pooling eyes fixed on him. They were wet with a sheen like she was holding back tears. He met them and gave her a nod to reassure her.
The most important ceremony Saptapadi followed. A Holy Fire Agni was lit on the ground amongst rocks. Its flames dancing in the wind. They were meant to circle around it as a witness to their vows. Kaz held his left hand around his crow cane and his other hand in Inej’s right hand as they make circuits. Inej led him in the first circuit around the fire. As they make the customary seven circuits, the crowd hushed a bit.
Next, the Jai Mala ritual began with being presented with delicate strung flowers in a necklace. These were more graceful looking than the garlands symbolizing that they are welcoming each other into each other’s families. Suli tradition said a wedding was not complete without it. Kaz was having a hard time keeping track of every ritual.
He fumbled with the garland as it caught on Inej’s headdress. Inej went on her tiptoes to place it over his head. Kaz and Inej already had their rings on from their first wedding so they held up their hands in lieu of the ring exchange. Clapping erupted from the crows.
Next, Kaz placed a mangalsutra, a black and gold beaded necklace, over Inej’s head and tied it tightly, careful not to press too closely into Inej's space. The necklace was meant to bring blessings on the marriage as a Suli goddess would be invoked to bring wealth and prosperity. Kaz could get behind that.
--
Nearing the end of the rituals was the talambralu where the bride and groom showered each other in rice and turmeric. Inej beamed as she dumped a basket over Kaz’s head. And Kaz tossed some over her. The crows got into it enthusiastically and for a solid minute it looked like it was snowing because of how much rice was flung around. The rice got caught in Inej’s scarf like snowflakes.
Then, Kaz applied a red powder to Inej’s hair to symbolize her status as a married woman. It matched the powdered streak in her mother’s hair which symbolized marital status. He spread it across her flyaway hairs and dusted her hair line and part so the powder stuck out like a scarlet paint streak.
- -
Hiding the groom's shoes was a tradition that Inej didn’t mention to Kaz but she hoped he wouldn’t find out. The skiv. Instead of the Kerch tradition for throwing a bouquet to the bridesmaids, the Suli would hide a steal and hide a pair of shoes from the groom and make him find them at the end of the ceremony.
Inej had to admit, it took an insane amount of work to scheme how to steal a pair of Kaz’s shoes. He only had the one. A disproportionate amount of work was spent trying to find a time Kaz was asleep which was usually in the morning. She snatched them the morning of the wedding before he woke up at 3 AM. Inej was exhausted. She felt satisfied when Kaz arrived to the wedding with the slippers her father lended to him.
When Inej attended a wedding as a child, she watched a groom fail to find his shoes for nearly an hour. The guests were roaring with laughter at his distress.
But Kaz took 2 minutes flat to find his shoes. He lifted them above his head to cheers.
“I knew what you were up to. But I pretended to be asleep,” Kaz smirked at her.
Inej wanted to wap him on the head but she held back.
- -
The vidaai ceremony was the hardest to watch. It was the bride choosing to leave her home and say goodbye to her family. Inej walked to her mother and father and embraced them tightly. The unshed tears burst from her and she was crying with silent tears. Kaz gulped as he stood watching. He wanted badly to give her a hug but he was afraid he would break too and he was already pushing it today with the hand-holding. He didn’t want to make the wedding ground to a halt if he starting panicking midway.
Their friends gathered around to give Inej a comforting hand on the back or shoulder. Inej tried to gather herself after several minutes and grabbed some shimmering coins from a pouch from her mother. She threw them over her head, the coins catching the light. It was meant to show her love to her parents.
And that was the end of the ceremony.
- -
“Inej, I want you to know that I wish I could kiss you,” Kaz took her aside after she stepped away from the crowds into the dim of the barn as the crowds erupted in cheers as they left.
“Suli don’t kiss at the wedding,” Inej smiled at him.
“I- I want this,” Kaz said and he leaned forward to press his lips to her forehead. Inej closed her eyes at his touch which was so light that it felt like a feather brushed her head.
“Think of it as a compromise,” Kaz said and his face broke out in his tilted pencil-thin smile. Inej couldn’t stop herself from tearing up again.
This was everything she wanted.