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Jason had fled from the bats as soon as Dr. Thompkins let him out of her sight. He had felt stifled within those walls, and their near constant intrusions made it nearly impossible for him to relax and heal. A person's nest was supposed to be a safe place, and others were supposed to respect those boundaries and stay away unless they were invited. They should have known better, Bruce especially. That man was old enough to know those things, and Jason thought that he had made it clear just how unwelcome he was with his body language. After all, he had nearly launched himself at the man, the feathers of his wings razor sharp and his hands bunched into fists. But no, Bruce had needed Roy to talk to him in order to get him to leave. It was as though he didn't respect Jason specifically, so he needed to have someone else to convince him.
Fucking asshole.
Even though he had healed enough to leave the Batcave, he 'wasn't ready to go back out on patrol' apparently, and well, Jason thought that that was just plain old unfair. What did Dr. Thompkins expect him to do? All he could think about was the crime that was destroying his part of Gotham, and he couldn't be there to stop it. Normally, he'd go out no matter what she said, but that was when he worked alone. With both Roy and Kori around now, they managed to make him stay in the safe house most of the time. Jason knew that they meant well, but going out on patrol couldn't hurt, right? Crime Alley needed the Red Hood to keep things straight. Hell, Jason needed the Red Hood to keep him sane. He wasn't the type of person who could just lie around and do nothing, and that seemed to be all he was allowed to do nowadays. His injuries didn't even hurt him that much.
"Show me your eyes, Jay." Kori said as she sat down across from him.
"What?" He asked, furrowing his brow.
"Come on. I want to see how far along your concussion is in healing." She beckoned him closer with a wave of her hand. "Can you follow my finger with just your eyes? Keep your head still."
Jason withheld a groan, but he did as she asked. The explosion had given him many injuries, one of the more dangerous ones being a concussion. He wasn't too worried about it. He was experienced with concussions, so that meant that he knew how to deal with them. And no, Roy was not correct when he said that having many concussions just made things worse in the long run. Jason was practically an expert at this shit. Kori moved her finger to the left and to the right, up and down, forwards and backwards, and he did his best to keep up. The concentration did trigger a painful ache right behind his eyeballs, but he decided that Kori didn't need to know about that. He had worked through worse pain in the past.
"Your eyes are shaky." She frowned. "Stand up, Jason."
Sighing dramatically, he rose to his feet and stood in front of her. "You want me to balance on one foot or something?"
"Left foot first please."
Jason did as he was told and bit his lip in concentration. Standing on one leg wasn't too hard; hell, he had done much more difficult things before. However, he couldn't help but sway back and forth, back and forth as he struggled to remain upright. Both of his wings launched out to either side of him in an attempt to even out the weight distribution. It didn't do much to help him. Kori immediately stood up as well, throwing her arms out as though she thought that he was about to fall over, but Jason was determined to stay standing on his own.
God, Dick would never let me live this down...
"Okay," Kori chewed on her upper lip nervously. "Now, close your eyes."
....Fuck.
"I'm perfectly fine with them open, thanks." Jason's face screwed up in a look of disdain.
"Come on, Jay, I need to know how you're doing."
His lip curled upwards. "Yeah, we already established that I fucking suck, okay? I get it."
She looked down and squeezed her eyes shut. "Please?" Kori asked, her jaw set and firm.
The guilt over his words crippled him immediately, and he reluctantly shut his eyes. Instantly, the already strenuous task of staying upright became a million times more difficult. His hands shot out in front of him, wildly looking for something to grab onto and anchor himself to, and he found Kori's outstretched arms quickly. Having failed so quickly, he opened his eyes again in defeat and all but collapsed onto the couch a few feet away. Pain shot through his body, focused around all of his other wounds that were still healing, and once again, he regretted his past actions. If he had found some other way to get out of that goddamn situation, he wouldn't have needed to set off the explosives in his helmet, and he wouldn't have gotten so fucked up. To be fair, he wouldn't have been in those circumstances if he hadn't bound his wings to his chest with duct tape.
.....Goddammit, this was all his fault.
"Are lights and sounds still bothering you?"
"Will my answer convince you to let me go out on patrol?"
Kori shot him an incredulous look. "No, absolutely not. You look like you're about to fall over whenever I see you standing."
"I can still shoot."
"Can you? No offense, but I don't trust any concussed person with a gun." She placated. "Don't make me go get Roy."
Deep down, Jason knew that she had a point. If he went out as he was, he would be more of a danger than anything else, and he didn't want to accidentally hurt someone. Regardless, he didn't like admitting that he was wrong, and he didn't like feeling useless. Jason pointedly turned away from his friend, staring at anything but her. He should allow himself to heal before going out as Red Hood, but he shouldn't have gotten himself into that situation in the first place.
"Listen, we can take care of Crime Alley until you get back. Nothing's going to happen to it." Kori promised.
He shook his head. "You can't know that for sure."
"Maybe not, but I do know that you're going to be in a world of pain if you reinjure yourself."
"And that doesn't sound threatening at all."
She threw her hands up in the air, obviously growing frustrated with Jason's relentless arguing. "Can you please just do this for us?"
He knew she was right. He really did, but for some reason, his pride was threatening to overwhelm him. Jason hated disappointing the people he cared about. Despite this, he couldn't seem to keep his mouth shut. Jason shrank under her gaze and slowly nodded his head, and Kori breathed a sigh of relief.
"Good." She pinched the bridge of his nose. "You need to get some sense of self preservation, Jason."
"I'm worried about Jason," Dick blurted out.
Roy looked up from his laptop, shutting it with one of his hands. His bright red wings stretched out lazily behind him, but they perked up slightly as the archer focused on his long time friend. He and Dick had decided to meet up in the Batcave that day to do research for a case together, so he had left Jason with Kori at their safehouse. Hopefully, she'd be able to convince him to stay there for the night. He knew just how difficult his partner could be sometimes.
"Yeah? Me too." Roy answered.
He clearly wasn't satisfied with that response, so Dick leaned closer. "His injuries...they're healed, right?"
"Healing." He corrected absentmindedly, resting the temple of his head on his fist.
"I thought that he got accelerated healing from, you know, the Lazarus Pit."
"Accelerated, not instantaneous, Dick."
"Oh," Dick fell silent for a few moments. "I should bring him something to make him feel better...."
Roy stiffened slightly. "Don't upset him."
"I won't." He waved his friend off. "I don't have patrol tonight anyway."
A cloud of silence fell over the room as Dick went back to his work, seemingly content with his plan to pop in on his little brother later that day. Roy could see it on his face and by the silly little bouncing motion he had started doing in his chair, and he had to admit that the plan was making him nervous. The last time Dick had tried to visit Jason was when he had almost intruded into his partner's nest right after the explosion. Like most people, Jason had not reacted well, and Roy was unsure of whether or not his friend had learned his lesson. Perhaps there would be some silver lining though. If someone was with Jason that night, they would be able to ensure that he stayed in the safehouse. Both he and Kori knew just how antsy he was getting.
His anxieties only heightened as night fell and as he returned to the safehouse, Dick in tow. His friend hadn't changed his mind over the course of the last couple hours; in fact, he only seemed to get more and more excited about the idea. Dick must know that Jason wouldn't be as thrilled as he was, right? Roy knew that he and the rest of the family were trying to redeem themselves, but he feared that they would come on too strong and drive his partner even further away.
"Jason!" Dick skipped over to his little brother, who froze upon seeing him. "How are you doing, bud?"
Jason turned to Roy and jerked a thumb in Dick's direction. "Why is he here?"
"I thought I'd come by and visit!" He spoke as though Jason had been speaking to him and not the archer. "I haven't been by much..."
His jaw tightened. "I prefer to be asked, you know."
"Ah," Dick paused as though he had been punched in the gut. "I am...I can do that next time."
Jason nodded his head slowly and turned away from his brother once more. It was rare that one of them actually listened to him when he said something like that, and the fact that Dick did pay attention threw him. What was he getting at? What did he want from him? The bats were never very nice to him unless they wanted him to do something for them, and even when they worked together, their partnership was often clouded by constant arguments and fights. He bit his lip, just considering his brother for a few moments. They never invited him to family events, so it wasn't like Dick wants to see him (he'd have been invited otherwise).
"Alfred packed some food for you." He held out a bag. "Unless you don't like it anymore."
"What sort of a ridiculous statement is that?" Jason scoffed. "Of course I still like Alfred's cooking."
Dick laughed as his brother took the bag out of his hand and looked through its contents. If there was anyone in this world that would never fail to make Jason happy, it was Alfred, and Dick didn't even feel jealous about that. The older man was just that great. Unfortunately, he couldn't shake the guilt out of himself at the moment. Dick had been so set on his plan to visit his brother that he hadn't considered what Jason would think of his idea, and he even knew that his little brother didn't like surprises similar to that.
"Can I.....Can I hang out with you tonight?" Dick shifted uneasily, tapping his fingers against his forearm.
Jason glanced up from his treasure and bit his lip, ignoring the looks that both Roy and Kori were sending him. He knew that neither of them thought that he would follow Dr. Thompkins's medical advice, so clearly, they wanted Dick to babysit him. First of all, he didn't need a babysitter. Second, he wasn't an idiot. He knew the proper steps he should take to heal his wounds; not doing so was a purposeful choice. At the same time, he couldn't help but be curious as to why Dick wanted to stay there. Surely, there were other things that the older man would rather be doing and more interesting people that he'd rather hang out with.
"Why?" He asked.
"Why what?"
"Why are you here?" Jason elaborated, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Tell me what Bruce wants from me."
Dick furrowed his brow. "No, no, Bruce isn't involved in this. I...I just wanted to hang out with you."
"Why?"
"You're my brother." He said this as though his reasoning was obvious.
"I've been your brother for years." Jason leaned forward, ignoring how his injuries pinched as he did so. "Why now?"
It was obvious that he was trying to get Dick to admit something, reveal some secret, but he didn't quite know what he was fishing for just yet. If he was trying to convince Jason to help him with a case, he wished that he would simply come out and ask him about it. He rarely said no to things like that, especially if there were innocent people in danger. Frankly, there was no reason for Dick to appear so nervous, and the fact that he didn't know the cause of it was disturbing the hell out of him.
"Because I want to fix things!" Dick blurted out, the skin on his neck turning a particularly bright shade of red. "I--well, all of us, really,--have not been good to you. I want to fix that."
"And I haven't been particularly good to you bitches either." Jason shrugged, practically feeling Roy's gaze burn into the back of his head. "Does it matter?"
He sighed and buried his face in his hands. "It does, Jay. There's no reason for us to be asses to each other."
"Hmmph." Jason crossed his arms, his jaw tensing.
"So...can I stay?" Dick's eyes grew big and round with hope.
He shrugged. "Do what you want."
The older brother grinned. "Thanks, Jay!" He moved as though he was about to hug Jason, but he stopped himself half way.
Good.
Kori and Roy left soon after to go on their patrol, and even though he trusted them with his life, he couldn't help but worry about how they were doing. The normally soft edges of his wings turned sharp the more that he thought about it. He held them as close as he could to his body, a sharp contrast to how Dick was spreading his blue wings out. Even though it was Jason's safehouse, he was less at ease in it.
"How are your injuries doing?" Dick asked after the television show they were watching had ended.
"Fine," Jason grit his teeth; he never liked talking about how he was healing.
His older brother nodded his head. "You know, you don't have to feel embarrassed around me."
"I'm not."
"But you are!" He cried out. "The way you acted right after the explosion was natural."
Jason grumbled under his breath. What he had done then had been humiliating, and he didn't want to remember it. He drew his legs in towards his body and glared at the floor, not responding towards his brother.
"Listen, Jay," he started, "I don't hold that against you."
"Uh huh."
"I'd be concerned if you were completely unaffected by it." Dick spoke frankly. "We all have our trauma. You don't need to feel ashamed about it."
Jason sighed. "Whatever."
"Everyone is worried about you, you know." A frown tugged on his lips.
He laughed cynically. "Dick, we both know that they don't give a shit about me."
"But that's just not true!"
"I haven't been one of them in a very long time, Dick. Maybe being an outsider is for the best." It hurt to say that, but it was a truth he had come to accept over the years.
Dick shook his head violently. "None of us want you to be an outsider though, and I don't think you want to either."
Why did he have to be so good at picking up on shit like that? He would have been able to pull that one by Bruce, but Dick was always much more difficult to convince when it comes to emotions. He was right though. It hurt whenever he saw them getting on in life without him. Sometimes, it felt like he was still dead, and maybe they still considered Jason, the Jason they wanted back, to be just that. They didn't want him unless he was a good soldier.
"And yet you're the only one here." He countered.
"Would you prefer to have everyone else here too?"
Jason snorted. "Hell, no."
"Then why are you arguing?" Dick frowned.
The younger man waved him off. "Just saying, they don't like me."
"Jason-"
"I'm smart enough to know when I'm not wanted, thank you very much." Jason shifted in discomfort.
Dick breathed deeply. "Bruce would do anything to bring you back."
"He should've done that a while ago." He said darkly.
Deep down, he knew that the way he had returned to Gotham wouldn't have made Bruce very happy, but it still hurt to think about the tensions between them. Just as Bruce wanted his son back, Jason wanted his father, but both father and son had changed too much. Neither of them would ever get what they wanted. Those were just the facts of the matter, and Jason would not be taking any criticism.
"Yes, he should've." Dick agreed. "But Bruce has never been good with that sort of shit."
Did Jason ever mention that he hated being proven wrong? He stood abruptly, hating how some of the still sore joints protested as he did so, and stalked out of the room, not bothering to give his brother any sort of verbal response. He felt Dick's eyes follow him to his bedroom as he did so. It gave Jason a bit of extra satisfaction to slam the door behind him. Jason didn't know why he left just then to be honest, but it had probably been building up throughout their conversation. Emotional discussions were exhausting, and Jason was at his wit's end. He sank into the plush walls of his nest and tried not to think about his brother.
Unfortunately, Dick wouldn't let Jason forget about him. Within seconds, he started hearing a quiet knocking on the door. Throwing a pillow over his head, he tried to drown out his brother's voice, but it wasn't very successful. Jason shuddered slightly as he heard the door click open. He barely stopped himself from growling at him. Was Dick seriously about to invade his nest again? Jason had hoped that he had heard his lesson, but then again, he was a bat.
"Hey, Jay." Dick stopped a few feet away, his wings drooping and dragging on the floor behind him. "I'm sorry if I upset you."
Did I just hear him right?
Jason peaked out of the nest suspiciously. "I'm not angry with you."
"Oh," Dick scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. "Are you...Can I get you anything?"
He shrugged. "I'm not very happy at the moment." Jason moved over a bit. "In."
A look of surprise flashed across Dick's face, but it was quickly followed by a look of awe. The older man eagerly kicked off his shoes and carefully climbed over the blanket wall, squirming slightly as he settled in. He rested his head on his hand and stared at his brother for a few moments, and Jason returned the look. Just as he said, he didn't look happy at all. Instead, he looked almost numb as though anything could happen and he wouldn't give a shit.
"What's going on, Jay?"
"Kori and Roy aren't letting me do shit. I don't have anything but Red Hood in my life, Dick." He shrugged. "I'm tired of being dead."