Chapter Text
‘She’s alive, she’s alive, she’s alive,’ JJ chanted to herself as she and Henry raced through the halls to Emily’s hospital room. Emily was okay, she hadn’t been killed by any of the unsubs, and hadn’t blown up with all of Union Station, she was alive. And JJ was pissed. Absolutely furious. Because while she had been with their team, trying to rationally work out the case, trying to save the hostages without getting any more people hurt, Emily had gone and played the hero again, walked into the building full of monsters again, gambled with her life again.
Finally, JJ made it. Rossi was standing outside, and JJ barely registered passing Henry off to him before barrelling into the room. It wasn’t until JJ saw her girlfriend, sitting up, pulling the sling off her arm, that she realized that even though she had been telling herself Emily was alive, she hadn’t fully believed it. Not until she saw it. And when she did, everything Emily had made her feel over the last 12 hours doubled and hit her like a tidal wave. She fell forward, pulling Emily into a bone-crushing hug. If it hurt the already injured woman in her arms, then so be it.
“Hi,” Emily said, once JJ had let up enough for her to do so. She barely had time to grin before JJ grabbed her chin and pulled her into a kiss. And she didn’t have any time to react to that before JJ pulled away and, with the same hand that had been holding Emily’s chin, slapped her across the face. “What the hell?” Emily exclaimed, bringing her hand up to cradle her stinging face as JJ took a step back.
“What were you thinking?”
“I- Jay, I promise, I tried everything I could to keep Henry out of it. Is he okay? Rossi said he was fine, but…” she trailed off, looking over JJ’s shoulder for the boy, an overwhelming need to see him competing directly with an overwhelming need to make sure he hadn’t seen any of this.
“He is fine. That’s not what I’m talking about,” JJ’s tone brought Emily’s focus back immediately. “Em, you can’t keep doing this to me.”
“Doing what? The way I see it, you’re the one who hit me,” Emily tried for the joke even though she knew it wasn’t the time.
“Being the hero. Running in to save the day, sacrificing yourself without a second thought. Throwing your life away. I almost lost you today. We almost lost you today. Again.” JJ was crying now.
“I’m sorry,” Emily said simply, and it was all she could say. Because how do you explain to the woman you love that you don’t mind putting your life on the line because it doesn’t really feel like your life? It hasn’t felt that way since you lost it the first time, and even though she (and everyone you love) got your life back, you hadn’t. You felt your life bleed out of you on that warehouse floor, and every single thing you’ve done since-every laugh, every kiss, every reckless hero move- has been an attempt to get it back. How do you explain that even though every part of your life is right where you left it, you don’t know how to pick up the pieces and live again? No, there was no way Emily could tell JJ all of that. So she settled for, “I’m so sorry.”
“Emily,” JJ stepped forward, slotting herself between the older woman’s legs and taking her face in her hands. “You’re not okay, are you?”
It was like a dam had broken. JJ’s question had been the permission Emily needed to explain everything. To tell her everything that had been bottled up inside her forever, and then some. Saying it all took a long time, but at the end Emily felt free. And in that freedom, she thought she could feel a bit of life returning, too.
“I feel like I should be the one apologizing to you,” JJ said once it was all done. “I’ve been so excited to have you home, to have our family back, that I never stopped for a second to ask if you even wanted to be here.”
“No,” and now it was Emily’s turn to take JJ’s face in her hands, “you and Henry have been the only things in all of this that have made any of the tiniest bits of sense. You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“But do you want to be here?” JJ asked.
“I- I don’t want to tear our family apart, again, but there’s so much here that I can’t make sense of, can’t remember how to navigate,” Emily hoped JJ understood.
“Easter’s offer…” JJ did.
“It’s a really good offer,” she let a hint of a smile reach her face. “And you know, he wants me badly enough that if I asked, he would find a job for you, too.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. JJ, you’re incredible. Interpol would be lucky to have you.”
“It’s nice to hear you say that,” JJ smiled back. “But I don’t think I could. I feel like I’m only just now hitting my stride at the BAU, and I can’t even imagine the custody battle Will would drag us through if we tried to move Henry to London. No, I want to stay here. But I think you should go.”
“Are you breaking up with me?” Emily thought her heart might split in two.
“Not a chance,” JJ said quickly. “No, I only mean that, well, obviously I want us to all be together and happy, but if the choices are between you being here and miserable, and you being an ocean away and happy, then I think it’s a no-brainer. We’ve been through worse. Besides, we can Skype so much more when you’re not pretending to be dead.”
“You’re really saying I should do this?”
“I’m really saying you should do this,” JJ grinned. “Promise me one thing before you go, though?”
“Anything,” Emily grinned back.
“Marry me?” she asked, suddenly shy, and Emily had no choice but to lean forward and crash their lips together. “So is that a yes?” JJ asked when the pair finally broke apart.
“Yes,” Emily said, breathlessly, before leaning in again.