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Tim was pretty sure this was some new and creative kind of hell. Mentally, he ran through his list of events and the emotional whiplash that followed over the course of a single conversation.
Tim was injured: bad, but not too terrible. They all got injured sometimes, even when recovery would take a few months it was still pretty normal for them. He’d be on crutches for the first month and doing PT for the second.
Tim got a call from Dick: good. They were still patching things up after the whole… ‘Robin incident’, significantly helped by Dick coming as Batman to bail Tim out of the trouble he found in the League of Shadows on his search for Bruce. Dick had totally come through for him right when he needed help the most, but he also hurt Tim a lot by taking away Robin. So any time Dick was willing to pay attention and go out of the way to spend time with Tim was a bonus.
Dick needed Tim’s help: good. Ish. Tim should probably not be happy about Dick needing help, but he couldn’t control how happy he was to be asked.
Dick had a baby: what? Okay, unexpected. Not too surprising. Dick had been in lots of relationships and was pretty casual about sex, which he was completely entitled to and perfectly understandable because really, who wouldn’t want to have sex wwith Dick Grayson? It wasn’t like it was impossible for him to have a kid just up and dumped on him by some civilian who didn’t want one.
Baby’s mom is Starfire: ouch. Not good. Honestly, Tim thought they were pretty firmly exes by now, both to hurt after the whole ‘Mirage Incident’. Which was completely valid on Dick’s part and completely irrational on Kori’s as far as Tim was concerned. She was upset about Dick ‘cheating’ on her when Dick had been raped and that was so not okay on so many levels that Tim didn’t even know where to start. So the two of them having a kid was alarming for multiple reasons. Firstly, Tim didn’t really think they should ever get back together because it sounded way too toxic to be healthy. Secondly, having a baby with someone was a huge commitment and probably completely intentional since from what Tim understood of Tameranian biology, they didn’t really have ‘oops’ babies. And thirdly, Dick hadn’t even told Tim that he was going to be a father.
And honestly, that really stung. Tim had thought they were getting better. They’d been talking more and working through their issues. Tim was now willing to admit that they had both made mistakes and that he hadn’t reacted well when they were both under a huge amount of stress. They talked about Damian. They talked about Robin. They talked about Dick not being able to believe that Bruce was alive. They talked about how Tim was basically suicidal during that time period. They talked about what Dick had meant when he suggested psychological help. They talked about Tim assuming the worst and keeping secrets and not asking for help. There were more conversations they needed to have, more things to apologize for and time that needed to be taken while they relearned how to trust each other, but they were getting better. Or at least, Tim had thought so.
To find out over a phone call that Dick had a baby with his apparently-not-an-ex and he was only asking because he needed emergency babysitting was fucking hurtful. Tim had been there baring his soul to Dick and Dick apparently couldn’t even be bothered to tell him that he was in a relationship. Maybe Tim had just been misreading everything. Maybe Dick didn’t care and was just defending his actions. Maybe Tim was wrong.
Tim felt sick. Why did he always love people who never prioritized him? Tim had loved his parents and they never wanted anything to do with him no matter how hard he had tried to earn their approval. He’d loved Bruce, who constantly chose Batman over him and had barely even thanked Tim for literally saving his life and bringing him back from being lost in the timestream which was complete and utter bullshit. Tim had loved Steph who- okay, no, that one was on both of them. They didn’t communicate and they ended up pretty toxic for each other when they dated and he was lucky that the whole dating and stealing Robin from each other thing hadn’t ruined their friendship. But that wasn’t the point. The point was, Tim was clearly not Dick’s priority in this situation. And that sucked. Because Dick was absolutely Tim’s priority in just about any situation.
Dick had been the very first person to ever hug Tim - at least that he remembered. Tim was probably held as a baby, or at least he’d like to think so.
But nine year old Dick Grayson had been kind to five year old Tim Drake and showed him a quadruple flip and took a picture with him and hugged him. The whole encounter was only a few minutes, mere moments long but it had such a profound effect on Tim because Tim had felt more loved in those few moments than his parents had made him feel his whole life.
Tim had eventually outgrown his ‘imprinting’ stage. And his ‘stalker’ stage. And his ‘hero worship’ stage. But Tim never really outgrew the feeling of love he got around Dick Grayson.
These days - or rather, before the phone call - Tim had finally started to feel like Dick’s equal, just like Dick had claimed when he stopped being Robin. They talked and hung out together outside of patrol. They bonded over better times and worse times. Tim had finally started feeling like he was trustworthy again, after the whole debacle of Bruce’s ‘death’.
Being near Dick for even just a few minutes made Tim feel like he was the only important person in the room. Dick made Tim feel valued in a way that Tim had craved and sought his whole life and hadn’t yet found anywhere else. Not even being Batman’s Robin made Tim feel as important or special. Sure, he felt helpful, felt useful, but some part of Tim always felt used in that dynamic.
So yeah, Tim was going to go to Bludhaven for his recovery while his leg healed. He was going to help Dick with his new baby girl. And he was going to let himself be used without complaining because that was just what Tim did. Tim sacrificed what he wanted for the people he loved. This was just more proof of that.
Dick Grayson was trying very hard not to freak the fuck out. Kori just up and showed up at his door with a baby of all things. Kori never just showed up anymore! Especially not with a baby! Dick and Kori had called it quits ages ago. Their relationship had ended in fire and tears and a few starbolts being thrown and been pretty permanent, though they were slowly working their way back to speaking terms in certain situations. Mostly for Jason’s benefit and the Outlaws because Dick still hadn’t given up on his friendship with Roy.
But anyway- baby! Kori gave him a baby, gave the barest explanation of what to expect from a Tameranian newborn, and when Dick had asked why he was sitting there in his apartment holding her baby she simply said that Mar’i - which, okay, good, baby had a name, is it a girl baby or a boy baby? - was his baby. Honestly Dick’s first assumption was that Kori just meant it was his baby for now. Like she was giving it to him to keep. Which was bad enough, but Kori had laughed at that and corrected him.
Dick had already known more or less how Tameranian biology worked. Kori had explained it back when they were dating. They didn’t get pregnant unless they actively chose to. Their bodies just kind of ‘caught’ genetic material and it didn’t mix with their own unless they consciously chose to make it. Kori had used a bunch of Tameranian words to refer to body parts and organs that humans didn’t have and was also very graphic in her explanation of Tameranian sex but Dick had gotten the gist that he couldn’t get her pregnant by accident. Which, okay, he was a horny teenager, that was a good thing. What he hadn’t understood, or maybe Kori didn’t explain back then, was that a Tameranian’s body kept that genetic material until it was either used or disposed of.
On one level, it was wild to think that Kori had been floating around with Dick’s sperm hidden in some part of her ‘orgernewlaff’ for years, but much more significantly, she had decided to use it without even consulting him! Kori had just up and made a baby - his! - baby without telling him. Dick had a baby now.
And then she decided to fuck off to space.
She gave an explanation of course. Something about her home planet and how she was no longer a princess but a queen and her people needed her and she had ‘proven herself capable of nurturing by creating life to earn her new title’ and blah blah- No. Okay? Just no. There was absolutely no excuse for abandoning your child. If Kori hadn’t even wanted to have a baby - and it sure sounded like she didn’t with the way she used alien politics as an excuse for having one in the first place - then she shouldn’t have made a baby. Also, what the fuck sort of alien law said you had to make a baby before you could hold office? That was just weird.
Dick had experienced miscommunications with Kori before, almost always because of the species differences either biologically or socially. Ultimately, no matter how understanding he tried to be, Kori hadn’t tried to adapt to Earth and refused to compromise on her Tameranian beliefs, mannerisms and practices. Which he had initially admired about her. But over time, he came to resent it because no matter how much he tried to adapt and understand where Kori was coming from, she refused to do the same for him. It had been just one more reason that Dick hadn’t tried to get back together with Kori after the fallout of Mirage. But this was far more than a miscommunication or a lack of cultural sensitivity. This was child abandonment.
Dick was furious.
He was also a father now.
A single father. With a very busy night job and a demanding day job. In Bludhaven.
Thank fuck for Tim Drake.
Tim was such a good person, always had been really. But for how clever he was, Tim could be a real idiot when it came to anything involving emotions. That wasn’t really Tim’s fault of course, Dick would fully lay that blame on Tim’s parents and lack of social interaction in Tim’s formative years. Tim had put a lot of work into himself to better understand how people worked since then, but there were some things that he just didn’t have an instinctive grasp on. It was in turns endearing, heartbreaking and frustrating. Tim was always ready to assume that everyone saw the worst of himself, which was really not true. Dick thought the world of Tim, knew Tim was a better vigilante than he had been at that age and didn’t doubt for a moment that Tim would eventually surpass him. But when Tim looked at himself, he could only see that he wasn’t good enough. And yes, that motivated him to work as hard as he did, but it also tore Tim apart inside, especially because Tim’s mind translated this into everyone seeing him as inadequate.
Dick had already known this distantly before Bruce’s death, but it wasn’t until he saw the fallout of making Damian Robin that Dick realized how deeply Tim’s self-depreciation went. In retrospect, Dick stood by the choices he had made at the time, but hated the way he had handled them so badly. Trying to get Tim into therapy had been important, but it wasn’t - as Tim had assumed - because Tim was crazy, but because Dick had known perfectly well that Tim was nearly suicidal in the wake of the deaths of Kon, Bart, Jack Drake and Bruce all one after the other. To a certain extent, the whole thing had been an overreaction on Tim’s part. Understandable, but painful. And then making Damian Robin… it had to be done. Damian needed a reason to stay rather than go back to the League of Assassins and Tim had been ready to leave the Robin mantle behind for a few years already, lacking only the confidence to seek that independence. Logistically, it had been a good move. Dick just did it badly. And it had nearly cost him Tim.
When Tim ran off as Red Robin, he hadn’t left a note or a trail. He’d just disappeared. Dick had been terrified, half convinced that he wasn’t looking for Tim but for wherever Tim had decided to hide his own body. The moment Dick had any clue where Tim was, he went tearing into the desert as Batman, leaving Babs and her Birds of Prey in charge of Gotham, and he was glad he did. Tim lost a spleen, Dick got some new scars, the League of Assassins lost a few bases and the Council of Spiders was ultimately disbanded. And they finally got the proof of Bruce’s survival.
That was the final thing. Dick hadn’t believed Tim. It wasn’t because he thought Tim was lying or crazy like so many others were saying. It was because Dick couldn’t allow himself to hope that Bruce was out there. If Bruce was alive, then Dick didn’t need to be Batman. But Dick did need to be Batman. It had been hellish and Damian hadn’t made it any easier, but Dick had ultimately pulled through and been, if not a ‘good’ Batman, then at least a good enough replacement. If Bruce had been there though, Dick could never have forced himself to do it. So no, Dick hadn’t believed Tim. He couldn’t. And that had damaged their relationship more than any of Dick’s other mistakes.
It took a lot of work to fit things back together between them. Dick was trying, and it was good to see that Tim was trying too, not just letting Dick do all the emotional heavy lifting like so many other people (Bruce, Kori, even Babs sometimes) were willing to do because he was naturally good at it. Dick was grateful to see Tim try so hard to meet in the middle.
Tim was a lot of things. He was smart as fuck, brave, determined, sneaky, observant, and most of all he was loyal. It was good to know that Dick hadn’t lost Tim’s loyalty and regard as he transitioned back to being mostly solo act Nightwing of Bludhaven instead of Batman of Gotham, parent of an extremely angry Robin with a thousand different issues. Not that Dick didn’t love Damian, but even he could admit that the kid was exhausting to deal with. Dick was perfectly ready to let the kid be Bruce’s problem for a while and get back to doing his own thing.
Except for the baby thing.
Right. Now he was solo with a baby. Dick had considered the prospect of being on his own for about two minutes before calling for backup and Tim had been the very first person he’d called. A few years ago, it would have been Babs or Alfred, maybe even Bruce at a stretch, but he hadn’t even hesitated on the contacts page, instead scrolling through his favorites and selecting his most recent call.
And of course, Tim came.
“Thanks so much for coming, Tim,” Dick said, opening the door wider to let Tim’s crutches through unimpeded. “You’re an absolute hero.”
“It’s fine, Dick. It’s not like I was going to be doing anything else. I can work my cases just as well from a laptop here as I could in the Batcave and it’s not like you’re the one taking me away from fieldwork.” Tim gestured depreciately at his currently bum leg. “And you sounded like you needed the help.”
“Yeah,” Dick winced, running a hand through his hair awkwardly, “I was not expecting to… well, I’m really glad I’m not on my own with this right now. Like I said, Kori is doing royal space princess stuff, but I have too many active cases to let them all drop and just not enough time to stay with Mar’i, even with taking paternity leave from my day job. And paternity leave only lasts two weeks, which is not enough time and-”
“I get it, Dick,” Tim interrupted kindly, putting a hand on Dick’s shoulder. Dick took a deep breath to calm down. “I’m here to help for however long you need me.”
And Dick feels a massive weight lift from his shoulders at Tim’s words. “Thank you.”
Mar’i Grayson was the cutest thing in the world. She had her daddy’s dark hair and her mother’s bright green eyes. (Tim was quietly grateful that her sclera only turned green when she tried to use her powers, rather than being completely indistinguishable from her pupils. Starfire’s completely monochrome glowing eyes had made it hard to read her sometimes and it had been a little creepy.) She was already quite large for an earth baby, so probably not a newborn, but maybe not a toddler yet. Tim was guessing somewhere in her first year. But that was based on human growth. Starfire hadn’t really aged visibly for the past decade now, still looking approximately eighteen, so it was quite possible that Mar’i was older than she looked. Tim refused to embarrass himself by asking.
Mar’i was already demonstrating her Tameranian heritage in her strength, speed, and even with her occasional bouts of floating. There was absolutely no way Dick could use a civilian babysitter, even if he could find one he trusted. Heck, Tim had a few troubles with her and he was a highly trained vigilante. A normal person would have no chance… and probably several broken fingers by now when Mar’i decided to grab them. Fortunately, Mar’i wasn’t able to hover more than an inch or two off the ground and was more prone to crawling or scooting across the floor than flying about the apartment so it wasn’t too hard to keep up with her.
Dick was able to spend the first two weeks with them. It was insanely adorable to see how helpless he was in some situations, and how completely he loved his baby girl. Mar’i would grasp her daddy’s finger and he would just melt, even when she started to squeeze too hard. Dick called her ‘little starshine’ and ‘baby girl’ and ‘sweetheart’. Tim tried to restrain himself to ‘kiddo’ and ‘kid’ but within a few days, he was just as deep in the embarrassing nicknames with ‘tiny twinkle’ which was just as bad as anything Dick had come up with. Tim was trying hard not to get attached and failing badly. It didn’t help that every minute of the day was spent with at least one Grayson in the room.
Breakfast included Tim arguing that cereal wasn’t real food and Dick arguing that coffee wasn’t real food and they would end up cooking together while taking turns feeding Mar’i who was already on mashed solids and baby food.
The morning included ‘tummy time’ which Mar’i would only concede to if it meant she got to cuddle with one of them. There was usually a nap for Mar’i, during which Tim would help Dick prepare for his work as Nightwing or work on his own cases while Dick napped too. Tim refused to acknowledge that his phone background was now a picture of Mar’i asleep on Dick’s chest, both of them tuckered out and black hair sticking up in strange directions. It was mostly Dick who was determined to photograph every moment of Mar’i’s development. He mentioned putting them in a scrapbook of some sort. Tim assumed it would be for Kori whenever she got back from Tameran and tried very hard not to be in too many of the pictures, but it wasn’t easy. Afternoons included lunch, some kind of baby-friendly activity - often something as simple as crumpling paper or pompoms or jelly - that Tim’s research showed was good for an infant’s sensory development. Well… it was good for humans and Mar’i seemed to enjoy it so they kept it up. Dinner and then bedtime for Mar’i and patrol for Nightwing with Tim in charge at home base. Dick would eventually crawl back to the apartment exhausted and crash in his usual king size bed while Tim retired to the ‘guest room’. Mar’i still slept in Dick’s room for now, but would probably get her own room soon. That room being the ‘guest room’ at which point would be converted to a nursery and Tim was planning on moving to the couch. Mar’i would probably wake them up in the middle of the night hungry at some point, but sometimes Tim was still awake and was able to head her off before her crying really started and let Dick sleep.
And for two weeks, Tim was both happier and more miserable than he could remember being in his life. On one hand, he was spending so much time with Dick and Mar’i. They laughed and were silly and cooed over every little thing Mar’i did, even the things that were more alarming than adorable like the time she managed to steal the tabasco sauce and down half of it. (To their relief, apparently Tameranian babies were able to handle that with literally no ill side effects. Tim was pretty sure they’d have needed to go to the hospital if she had been a normal baby.) Tim was eating better, sleeping better, and physically recovering better than he ever had.
On the other hand, Tim pretty much had front row seats to the greatest thing he would never be a part of. Tim was just filling in, just a placeholder (just a replacement). Tim wasn’t Mar’i’s other parent and never would be. Tim hadn’t really moved in with Dick, he was just there as a live-in nanny and occasional research-monkey who couldn’t say no if he tried. Eventually, Kori would come back from space, Tim would leave, and Dick and Mar’i would continue on as usual with only occasional visits from Tim. Maybe he could be Uncle Tim if he was lucky, but Tim wasn’t counting on it. It was pretty obvious that Dick had only called on Tim because he had no other option, not because he was actually wanted here.
Of course, eventually paternity leave came to an end and Dick had to go back to the BPD.
Mar’i was not happy about this.
“Daddy’s sorry, starshine, but Daddy needs his finger back please so he can go to work.”
Mar’i cried harder and judging by Dick’s wince she squeezed harder too.
“Look, just- let me,” Tim tried to say as he held Mar’i with one arm and attempted to pry her little fist off of Dick’s fingers with the other. “Hold still,” he ordered, not sure which Grayson he was talking to.
“It’s not her fault,” Dick promised. “It’s just the last time her parent left, Kori hasn’t been back yet. So of course she’s worried.” Dick’s face pinched unhappily.
“I’m sure Kori is fine,” Tim promised, carefully keeping the bitterness out of his voice. “She’s strong.”
“Right,” Dick agreed, but his voice sounded weirdly hollow. “You’re right.”
Ultimately, Dick’s departure for his day job had much more fanfare than was really required and Tim promised himself that next time they’d avoid it by distracting Mar’i and making Dick sneak out when she wasn’t looking. Babies didn’t have great object permanence, right? Maybe that would make it easier.
When Kori had given Dick Mar’i, he’d expected a lot more chaos and parental helplessness than he’d endured with Tim’s help. Instead of struggling to get by as a single father with literally no previous baby experience, he and Tim were teaming up and doing okay at this parenting thing - excepting the tabasco thing, but that worked out okay anyway. He’d seen Kori drink weirder.
Dick’s heart felt like it would float out of his chest. His little starshine was a highly unexpected surprise and a pretty big change of plans, but Mar’i was an absolute blessing. She was the most precious thing in the world. From every gummy smile to sleepy yawn to curious coo and even including the stunningly stinky diapers, his daughter was the best thing to ever happen to him. His daughter. He was never going to get tired of thinking that, of saying it.
And because of his tiny daughter, Tim was here, so close and talking with him. Dick felt like they were closer than they had ever been and he was loving it. Tim was good with Mar’i, knowing all sorts of things about baby care and development that he had absolutely no reason to know except to help with Mar’i and demonstrating such patience and attention on Dick’s daughter. It made something in Dick’s stomach twist and clench pleasantly.
Saying goodbye that morning was harder than he’d thought it would be, and Dick had spent the whole previous day dreading it. Dick had then been distracted the entire day, constantly glancing at the clock and texting Tim to ask what he and Mar’i were doing at that exact moment. Tim sent him a picture just about once an hour as well as reminders to stop texting and pay attention to his actual job. Dick showed the pictures on his phone to his partner and Montoya laughed at his text history.
“You should listen to your husband,” she said. “I know she’s a cute baby, but she’ll be fine without you for a few hours. Trust me, I’ve got two at home.”
Dick had turned bright red and spluttered something without having the guts to correct her, but the idea hadn’t left his head.
Dick and Tim weren’t dating. But they could be. Dick had been attracted to Tim for years, but with everything going on, he hadn’t really let it lead to anything. Tim was handsome, but it didn’t make sense to risk an important working relationship for the sake of Dick’s chronic need to feel loved. (Dick was self-aware enough to know that he needed love and wasn’t afraid to ask for it, that’s why he was the huggy-bat.) Dick had learned from his relationships with Barbara and Kori that sometimes it wasn’t actually a great idea to sleep with your coworkers, even if you were in love with them. And things with Tim had been so difficult in recent years with Damian and Bruce and just… it hadn’t been a great time.
But now… Right now, Tim was healthy and happy in a way Dick had never seen before. Tim was living with Dick and co-parenting Mar’i. Dick figured that he’d never get another opportunity this good and desperately ignored the little voice in the back of his head trying to list all the reasons it could go wrong.
The worst thing that could happen is Tim could say no.
Okay, so the real worst thing that could happen is Tim could say no, be disgusted, hate Dick forever and leave him and Mar’i and never come back. But that was unlikely and Dick was nothing if not an optimist.
He was going to do it. He was going to ask out Tim Drake.
Once he worked up the courage.
Tim had floor duty for tummy time. He had been the one to instigate tummy time in the first place, much to Mar’i’s initial displeasure. She had not enjoyed it. Tummy time was meant to be crucial to (human) neck and shoulder strength and help prevent things like skull deformities. Tim was relatively sure that Mar’i was sufficiently developed that this wasn’t actually necessary and that her Tameranian heritage would prevent that kind of thing, but better safe than sorry. Once Mar’i got used to the idea, she settled into tummy time quite happily as long as someone was there to act as her floor and she wasn’t left alone on the ground. Even being next to her was too far away and she would fuss and whine and eventually start to cry if she wasn’t picked up.
So there Tim lay, making faces and funny noises to entertain a baby. He tried to pretend he wasn’t enjoying it, but he wasn’t fooling himself. Mar’i had him wrapped around her littlest finger.
Tim wanted so badly to be able to keep this. The feeling of family and love and being in love and falling in love and the closeness. Tim hadn’t had any of it growing up. His parents had been distant at best and neglectful to the point of abuse at worst. Tim had always wanted more than that. It had only been recently - mostly thanks to the therapy that Dick had managed to force him to attend - that Tim had stopped picturing himself as ‘dead’ in ten years and started trying to figure out what he wanted and where he wanted to end up. It hadn’t taken him long to realize that this was what he wanted.
He wanted to slow down. He wanted to stop spending so much time in the field before his body broke down or his lack of spleen led him to his death. He wanted to raise a kid and fall in love. He wanted a family of his own. Worse, Tim wanted this family. And he could never have it, because it belonged to someone else.
Tim quietly contemplated how much time Nightwing had been pulling back from the streets to spend time with his daughter. Dick had spent less time patrolling and more time making targeted attacks against organized crime and corruption in Bludhaven with Tim’s help. To a limited extent, Tim was acting like the Oracle of Bludhaven, and it felt good. As happy as he had been for Babs when she had settled into her role of Oracle, he hadn’t realized how fulfilling it was to be able to watch over things from afar. It actually helped settle several of his anxieties.
Tim didn’t really want to go out in the field anymore. Tim had become Robin because Batman needed him (and his therapist had a lot to say about that dynamic when he explained that he, an emotionally stunted child, was acting as Bruce’s therapy animal). Then Tim had become Red Robin because Bruce needed him still. But now… Bruce had a Robin. It wasn’t Tim, and Tim was honestly okay with that now in a way he hadn’t been in the beginning (time, distance and therapy helped). It was unlikely that Tim would quit the field to the extent that Oracle had, but he wasn’t really needed in the field the way he had been.
“What do you think, Mar’i?” Tim asked in a newly developed baby voice. “Do you think I should work so hard? No you don’t! No you do~on’t!” If Tim’s mother were alive, she would have had a fit at the sight of her heir being so utterly undignified. Tim took the opportunity to help Mar’i clap her hands. “Ya~ay! Look who gives such great advice? It’s yo~ou!” followed by more clapping. “Nice clapping tiny twinkle. You’re so clever.”
“What’s my clever girl done now?”
Tim damn near jumped out of his skin, which would have been especially impressive with a baby on his chest. “Dick,” Tim emphasized Dick’s name so he could curse and get away with it in front of Mar’i, “I had no idea you snuck up on us. Don’t scare me like that. I might not have any batarangs on me right now because of tummy time, but that still could have been bad.
“Ah! Ah!” Mar’i cheered upon noticing her father. “Eeeee!”
“Sorry, Tim, didn’t mean to spook you,” Dick said as he stepped out of the doorway and swept up his daughter. “And hello, little starshine. Are you being clever today?”
Mari patted Dick’s face happily and said something eager in baby babble. Dick nodded solemnly. Tim’s heart squeezed.
“I was just telling Mar’i,” Tim began, not sure how to admit his thoughts to Dick, “that maybe after my leg heals and the sepsis isn’t a huge concern anymore, I might start spending less time in the field and more time at the desk.”
Dick blinked and looked up, surprise clear on his face. “Like, the Wayne Enterprises desk or-”
“Like Oracle’s desk more like,” Tim corrected. “Running WE was a nightmare and I am never being CEO again. It’s Bruce’s problem and if Damian wants it he can have it. No, I meant…” and Tim trailed off, trying to find his words. “I- you know how I’ve been talking to that therapist in Metropolos?”
“Yeah,” Dick agreed, holding his daughter. It was heady to be on the receiving end of a double-Grayson wide eyed stare. “And I’m really glad it’s helping you.”
“Right well- and don’t make this weird - but for a long time, I only really planned for the current moment. And I mean, yeah, I plan obsessively, but I never really planned for the long term because I- and I said don’t make it weird - but I didn’t really assume that I’d be alive that long?” Tim winced. They had talked about Tim’s past suicidal ideation, but he was still not comfortable with it. It felt like every time he brought it up, Dick would try to protect him and that wasn’t really helpful. Thankfully when Tim looked up Dick merely nodded solemnly, much like he had for Mar’i moments ago. The thought made the corner of Tim’s mouth pull up without his permission. “But so my therapist told me to really put some thought into it and stuff and I kinda realized that I’m happier doing the detective work and running the data and making plans and all that than I am fighting in the field. And with my spleen, every injury and every toxin and every new pollen Ivy comes up with and every dunk in the sewers or the harbor is way more dangerous for me than it is for anyone else. I mean, I wouldn’t stop fieldwork but-”
“Tim,” Dick interrupted. “You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“But Bruce will want one,” Tim pointed out, tired at the very thought. “Bruce will need an itemized list of reasons and I just… don’t want to deal with that.”
Dick shrugged, which made Mar’i happy so he started swaying back and forth in place. “So don’t,” he dismissed. “I can tell him for you. Or if you’d rather, you can just stop showing up as much and we can see how long it takes him to say anything. He’d notice immediately of course, but he’s even more unwilling to have an emotional conversation than you are.”
Tim considered that. “It would be funny,” he admitted.
“Do you think you’re going to come up with a new identity?” Dick prompted gently. “I know you said you created Red Robin to get Bruce back and… you didn’t really like that role.”
Tim scowled in agreement. “I hadn’t really thought ahead that far,” he admitted. “I guess it’s true that I don’t want to be Red Robin anymore though. I never really intended for it to be a permanent transition, but I also never really thought about what would come after.” Yet another way in which Tim had not assumed that he would live to see the other side of his Mission. Tim really didn’t like being confronted with those.
“You could base out of Bludhaven, if you wanted,” Dick offered. “We’d love to have you here.”
And fuck. Tim was reminded of exactly what he was wanted for. Babysitting. Tech support. Usefulness. “I’ll consider it,” he said, but his voice didn’t sound quite right to his own ears.
Thankfully Dick didn’t notice, face lit up in delight. “Good,” he said. “I’m glad.”
Dick had a plan. It was a good plan. He was going to arrange for Mar’i to stay with Alfred (and Bruce, but Alfred would be in charge) for the night and invite Tim out to dinner and a movie. It was going to be casual and lowkey and absolutely nothing had gone according to plan.
Because Dick came off of a long patrol in the small hours of the morning still wearing the Nightwing suit and walked in to see Tim in just his pajama bottoms, sitting in a rocking chair - another new addition to the apartment that Dick hadn’t owned before Mar’i - holding his daughter to his chest and singing the Cradle Song softly as she drifted off to sleep. And if Dick hadn’t been in love with Tim before, he couldn’t help himself now.
“I- you- date me. With me. Will you go date me?” The words just kind of fell out of his mouth without any real coherency and Dick barely remembered to keep his voice down so he wouldn’t wake Mar’i.
Tim made a confused face over Mari’s sleeping head. ‘What?’ he mouthed, slowly rocking forward out of the chair and smoothly standing to his feet before strolling over to Mar’i’s cradle and setting her down slowly. She yawned and shifted slightly as she settled but curled into her stuffed bat and stayed asleep. Tim gestured for them to leave the room so they could talk. Once they were safely in the kitchen, Tim turned to him and asked, “Sorry, I didn’t really hear you and I didn’t want to wake Mar’i. What did you say?”
Oh good, he had a second chance to not fuck it up. “Will you want do the go to date on me with?” Dick asked. And he fucked it up. Nice, Dick.
“What?” Tim asked again, looking very confused.
Dick inhaled and exhaled and formed the whole sentence in his head before he tried to say it. “Do you want to go on a date with me?” Third time’s the charm.
“Are you concussed,” Tim asked, concerned as he reached for Dick’s head. “Let me see your pupils.”
“I- no, I’m not concussed,” Dick argued. “I didn’t even hit my head today. I just want to go on a date with you.” Tim stared at him blankly for an uncomfortably long amount of time. “I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to, it’s just-”
“What about Kori?” Tim interrupted.
Which was just a random question to ask really. “What about Kori?” Dick asked.
Tim bit his lip - which was really quite attractive - for a second before talking. “Dick, you have a kid with Kori, not me. I don’t know if Tameranians are into that ‘open relationship’ thing or whatever but I-”
“Woah, wait, what?” Dick asked. “Kori and I aren't in a relationship. We haven't been for years! Kori is not relevant to this conversation. I’m talking to you, here.”
“Dick, I’m not stupid. Developmentally, Mar’i is about four months old. So you must’ve at least had sex with Kori-”
“No, actually, I didn’t.” Dick disagreed. “I really, really didn’t.”
But Tim continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “-about a year ago. So I know you’re lying to me about that.”
“No I’m not.”
“And while I’ll admit that I don’t like her, I’m not going to help you cheat on Kori.”
“No!” Dick shouted, grabbing Tim’s shoulders and shaking him slightly. “There is no Kori! Yes, Mar’i is hers, but she wants nothing to do with her. Kori isn’t interested in being any kind of parent to my daughter. And we haven’t had sex in years. Which would make Mar’i impossible if she were human but Tameranians have this thing called a, uh, ornerwaffle? Or something? I don’t really know, their language is so weird. But the point is, I haven’t had sex with Kori since before Mirage. And she just showed up with a baby and yes, Mar’i is mine and I wouldn’t give her up for the world but I had no idea that she was coming into my life and you’re such a good dad to her and you were singing and it was so sweet and I had this whole plan where I was gong to be all smooth and ask you out without making an idot of my self but that didn’t fucking work so-” Tim put a hand over Dick’s mouth to shut him up and Dick was very grateful from being saved from his awkward ramble before he could say something even more embarrassing.
“You’re not with Kori?” Tim clarified sharply. Dick nodded. “And you’re available?” Dick nodded twice as hard. “And you like me?” Tim asked, the edge of incredulity creeping into his voice. Dick nodded as hard as he could.
Tim took his hand off of Dick’s mouth, grabbed the front of his suit and pulled him into a firm kiss. “I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with you for years,” he breathed out quickly.
“I’m pretty sure I’ve been in love with you for years,” Dick returned honestly.
“We’re both idiots,” Tim realized.
“Yeah, a bit,” Dick admitted. “I mean, me more than you, but yeah, we’re a bit dumb sometimes. Well, you’re actually really smart, which is very hot but that’s not the point.”
Tim kissed him again. And this time Dick actually had a chance to react and kiss him back. Tim hummed happily as he sank into the kiss and Dick was reminded of the jockstrap in the Nightwing suit.
“So, date?” he offered hopefully.
“Yes,” Tim agreed, smiling. “Date.”
And then, because Dick Grayson will never miss an opportunity to be a little shit, he asked, “How long do you think it will take Bruce to say something?”