Chapter Text
[Dream created you need friends.]
[Dream added George, Sapnap, Wilbur......and 17 others.]
Dream: hey
you guys need more friends
George: rude.
Dream: GEORGE
George: what?
Dream: I MISSED U
U SHOULD HANG OUT
WITH ME AND THE OTHERS
or just me if u know what i mean ;)
George: ....
no.
[George is offline.]
Wilbur: well tahts just sad
Skeppy: L
Eret: L
Techno: L
Niki: L
Tubbo: L
Tommy: L
Karl: L
Fundy: L
Badboyhalo: L
Dream: wow.
i see what you think of me
Tommy: haha im laughign at ur sorry ass
haha
Wilbur: a child is bullying you dream
dont you just wanna punt him into the sun?
Tommy: HEY HY YO FUCKING BTICH NOBODY CAN TDU FYCUG PUNT ME FUCK YIOU FUCK YIH
Wilbur: cause i'll turn a blind eye
Dream: ill consider it
Wilbur: thats all i ask
Tommy: UFUCK YOY BITCH PUSSY ASS ASSHOLE COCK DICKHEAD
Badboyhalo: language >:(
Tubbo: fuck bitch cock dick dickhead ass asshole pussy
Tommy: YEAHHH TUBBO
Badboyhalo: LANGUAGE YOU MUFFINS!!!!!!
Dream: i know theres people lurking, come out
Eret: im bi
Dream: *sigh*
thank you, eret
Eret: anytime!
Niki: hey wilbur!
Wilbur: niki!
Niki: u should come to the cafe!
Karl: this is awesome but who are these people
Dream: fuck okay introductions
im dream, i use he/it/void/abyss (dm to ask how to use!)
Wilbur: im wilbur, i use he/they. if you cross me, i will ruin your fucking life
Tommy: bitch. you are not threatening. yuo eat sand and make songs about a certain someone
Wilbur: Tommy.
Tommy: i aint fraid of no one except my dad
Wilbur: thats vaguely worrying. are you ok?
Tommy: tommys the name
i use fucking
what pronouns DO i use
fuck uhm
hm
he/him ig
Tubbo: relatable
tubbo uses he/him
Dream: did u just talk in the third person
Tubbo: techno talks in the third person
Techno: he got you there dream
Tommy: yeah admit defeat bitch
Wilbur: everytime tommy talks, i lose a year off my life
Tommy: oh talking kills u slowly?
does it?
HMMMMMM
HMMMMMM
Wilbur: for fucks sake
Techno: i never die. read my username. they/abyss/cryptic
Tubbo: but i cnt rreada
Tommy: get ranboo to read it for u big man
Tubbo: no they need to do their homework
Tommy: that never bothered u before
Tubbo: im copueing off thaem
Tommy: of course you are, tubbo
Sapnap: uhhh
what is this
Dream: you need more friends
Sapnap: wow dreamie i thot u loved us?????
Dream: not at all.
Tommy: yikes. thats tough bud
[Private messages between Technoblade and TommyInnit.]
TommyInnit: hey techno?
Technoblade: what
TommyInnit: uh how do i refer to you?
Technoblade: one sec
"Hello! Today I met a person who goes by Techno. Cryptic has a wonderful personality. That smile of cryptic's really makes me happy. I could talk to cryptic all day although Cryptic doesn't talk about crypticself much. I wonder if cryptic's day has been wonderful. I hope so!"
and
"Hello! Today I met a person who goes by Techno. Abyss has a wonderful personality. That smile of abyss's really makes me happy. I could talk to abyss all day although Abyss doesn't talk about abysself much. I wonder if abyss's day has been wonderful. I hope so!"
you know how to use they/them
TommyInnit: thank you!! are u fine with being called 'man, dude' or like any other of those?
Technoblade: do you normally use those with gender in mind?
TommyInnit: nope
Technoblade: then thats fine
TommyInnit: cool, big man
[Private messages between Technoblade and TommyInnit.]
[you need friends.]
Dream: guys stop laughing at me
Wilbur: no. i will continue laughing at u
Tommy: did anybody else go
Tubbo: no i coauld ell you were teAxting someone aso i made thame stop
Tommy: youd obviously do that for such a big man
...
thanks
Wilbur: did we just??? get soft tommy content???? holy shit???
Tommy: FUCK YOU IM NOT SOFT
Tubbo: CLIP IT
[Tommy has deleted 2 messages.]
Quackity: i already screenshotted it. i have blackmail now.
Tommy: bitch
this is why i dont talk to any of you
i only talk to big men
Tubbo: you talk to ranboo
Tommy: i will admit. theyre very tall. theyre not wide and i have that over them
Wilbur: chommyinnit?
Tommy: die.
Dream: lets get some chommyinnits in the chat
Tommy: no.
Eret: chommyinnit
Badboyhalo: chommyinnit uwu
Tommy: you disgust me badboyhalo
Quackity: chommyinnit
Tommy: fuck you
Tubbo: chommyinnit
Tommy: this is child abuse
Wilbur: HA CHILD
Tommy: THIS IS CHILD ABUSE I WILL COMMIT CRIMES
Quackity: arent u always commiting crimes?
Tommy: wdym?
Quackity: ure just a fucking crime boy
Tommy: oh
Wilbur: ?
Tommy: oh. you havent see tubbo huh
Dream: ??
Tommy: i pray for your souls. holy shit.
Wilbur: tommy stop being ominous
Tubbo: :D
Tommy: i cant. i really cant. will get stabbed
Badboyhalo: nobodies getting stabbed >:(
Tommy: you guys really dont know huh
tubbo
Tubbo: hmmm?
Tommy: does ranboob know?
Tubbo: oh definitely. they're the one who stops me lmao
Tommy: yikes.
lets get a F in the chat for them
Wilbur: i??? feel vaguely threatened?????
Dream: ??????
Eret: please tell me whats happening
Badboyhalo: F
Techno: i am Interested
Tommy: get outta here with ur dramatic spelling
almost as bad a wilbur
Wilbur: what the fuck??? do you??? mean?????
Tommy: you proved my point.
Badboyhalo: language!
sorry im making sure skeppy isnt doing bad things
Quackity: dadboyhalo
Sapnap: hes my dad yknow
Quackity: what.
Sapnap: yeah.
Karl: i still do not know who all of you are.
Dream: one sec
@Awesamdude
cmon man
Awesamdude: oh boy
Tommy: SAM NOOK?
Awesamdude: HELLO TOMMYINNIT...
Tommy: LETS FUCKING GOOOOO
[Awesamdude changed their name to Sam Nook.]
Sam Nook: @George is George, pronouns he/him. @Sapnap is Nick, pronouns he/him. @Niki is Niki, pronouns she/her. @Quackity is Alex, pronouns he/him. Karl is Karl, pronouns he/him. Callahan is Callahan, pronouns he/him. @Sam Nook is awesamdude, pronouns he/him. @Badboyhalo is Bad, pronouns he/him. @Skeppy is Skeppy, pronouns he/him. @Fundy is Fundy, pronouns he/him. @Purpled is Purpled, pronouns he/him. @Punz is Punz, pronouns he/him. @Eret is Eret, pronouns any. @Jack Manifold is Jack, he/him. @Foolish is Foolish, pronouns he/him. @ItsAlyssa is Alyssa, pronouns she/her.
Tommy: thank you sam nook
Sam Nook: ANYTIME, TOMMYINNIT.....
[Sam Nook changed their name to Awesamdude.]
Awesamdude: okay i have things to do
bye, tommy, remember, workshopping, me and you
Tommy: yeah yeah piss off
Tubbo: oh yeah hows the Thing doing
Tommy: what Thing? there's many
Tubbo: yknow the the the one ThinG
Tommy: OHHH YEAH
its good
Wilbur: you are doing this intentionally.
Tommy: definitely.
Techno: this is why i murder orphans
Tommy: wait so if my parents just one day mysteriously disapear, techno kills me?
Techno: yes
Tommy: well. i have my weekend plans
Tubbo: wait dan i cjoin u?
Tommy: ofc tubzo
Tubbo: LETS GOOOO
Tommy: we need ranboo in this chat
Quackity: WHOS RANBOO
Wilbur: YEAH
Tommy: a friend of tubbos ig
they're a lesser person then me
Tubbo: no im actually replacing you with them
Tommy: /j????
Tubbo: oh yes. sorry. forgot!
Tommy: fuck you tubbo underscoer fyou fuckier bitch
Wilbur: tom r u okay
Tommy: yes. im the bestest of bests.
Wilbur: mhmmmmm
Fundy: what did i just read
Quackity: ?
Fundy: why. why was there a dream x reader. why does taht exist. why did i read it
Dream: WHAT
Fundy: I DIDNT MEAN TO FIND IT
Wilbur: WHAT
LINK PLEASE
LINK???
out of curiosity
Tommy: thats really sussy of u wilbur
Wilbur: SHUT UP
SHUT UP U CHILD
YOUD NEVER UNDERSTAND
Fundy: ILL GIVE YOU THE LINK FOR 50 DOLLARS
Wilbur: DEAL
[Tommy has changed Wilbur's name to Dream Simp.]
Dream Simp: I TAKE THAT IN STRIDE
[Private messages between Tommy and Tubbo.]
Tubbo: tehy r deffo flurting
tehy r deffo flurting
they r deffo florting
tehy r deffo flerting
they r deffo flurting
tehy r deffo flurting
tehy r deffo flurting
[Private messages between Tommy and Tubbo.]
[you need friends.]
Dream: haha. wheres the /j?
Dream Simp: FUNDY MSSGE ME ALREDY
Fundy: IM REFINDING THE LINK YOU FUCK
Badboyhalo: skeppy has read x readers of me before! OwO
Tommy: what
Badboyhalo: we're very good friends QwQ
Quackity: mhmmmm friends..
Badboyhalo: yup :D
Tommy: DOES HE NOT KNOW WHAT X READER MEANS
Badboyhalo: ?
Dream Simp: nobody tell him
WHERE THE FUCK IS THE LINK
Badboyhalo: language!! u muffin >:(
Fundy: i have it. send me the money.
Dream Simp: ok
Tommy: simpbur
Tubbo: simpbur
Dream Simp: i take that in stride
Fundy: ok i sent the link
Dream Simp: COOL YEAH GREAT
im just gonna go now
tommy dont cause too much trouble.
BYE
Tubbo: well that was gay
Tommy: arent we all?
Quackity: are we?
Tommy: anyway
look at this blond raccoon
[Blond Raccoon crossing river.]
Techno: thats you.
Tommy: no.
did you know? "What seems like a raccoon washing his/her hands before eating, it is actually a sign of how important their hands are to them. They have been observed having this behavior even when they had no water around, they will do it in the air." basically their hands r like a second pair of eyes
Tubbo: :O thats cool
Tommy: yeah
"Raccoons use water in a manner similar to humans' use of light to enhance vision. Water enhances the tactile nerve responsiveness allowing the raccoon to glean more information about the food. It does this by increasing the receptiveness of the nerve endings that are located in the raccoon's paw."
Techno: youre a raccoon
Tommy: fuck off and die
Techno: i already told you i cant die
Tommy: ive done more impossible things
Techno: like what?
Tubbo: tommy u better not tell. boo would beat u into the ground
Tommy: fine.
Techno: like what.
Tommy: DHFDUYUIHDHUH HELPAVCDHUF
Techno: like what.
Tommy: sorry, this is ranboo. uh tommy is ok. do not worry.
Quackity: kinda worrying ngl
Dream Simp: THE CHILDS DEAD WOOO
Techno: crabrave
Dream: LETS GOOOOO
Tommy: wow. i see how you guys think of him.
Dream Simp: thats not how tommy types. who are?
Tommy: ( :
Dream: dONT STEAL MY THING
Tommy: ( :