Chapter Text
Iris finds the ring in the folds of an oversized sweater that she wanted to wash as soon as she settled in at Eddie's apartment. (Her apartment, now. Theirs.)
That's a lie. Yes, the ring was in the sweater, but she didn't realize it'd been in there until she swung the wooly mass around in frustration and the ring flung across the room, just missing the window.
She simply must have lost it in the process of packing all of her worldly possessions at her house. (Old house. Her dad's house. And once again Barry's house.)
Its placement was a calculated misplacement. It had weighed heavy on her chest, just as Barry's confession did. In order to alleviate the pressure, she took it off, followed shortly by the sweater she was wearing, effectively hiding the ring from her sight. Then she blamed the loss on the process of moving.
("I'd like you to meet Linda," Barry had said earlier that day. Just as she had been doing ever since she took the ring off, Iris' hand was already rubbing small circles on her sternum when she saw Linda walk in. She thrusted it out for a handshake.
She had to find that ring.)
The chain is tangled across her fingers as she tries to rattle her brain for the rest of the steps in Cat's Cradle when Eddie enters the apartment. She quickly drops it down her shirt, the chain still warm from her fingers but the untouched, avoided ring's chill shocks the skin of her chest.
- - -
Iris did her undergraduate studies at a university in the city. Barry went to a state school four hours away.
"Three if you want to test highway patrol," he said in attempt to soften the blow of him leaving. Her dad raised an eyebrow.
Barry applied and was accepted to Stanford, but he told them he only wanted to see if he could get in. Why he'd pay 50 bucks on an application for a school he didn't even consider attending, her dad acted like he had no clue. But both he and Iris knew why, and why he chose state. Their physics program had federal funding and was considered the best in the midwest. He wouldn't be paying out of state tuition prices. Iron Heights was only a couple hours away.
Barry felt a familial need to stay close. For Iris, it was economical.
No rent-- "Um, excuse me?" Dad would say jokingly. At least, she thought so-- no dining hall fees, none of this driving back and forth over break business, etc.
She considered moving out several times, and one time she nearly did. But after seeing the townhouse shared by several girls in her Psych 101 class, she walked back into her own house with a dazed expression and confessed to her dad as she embraced him tightly, "I thought sharing a bathroom with Barry was bad. I'm so glad you were strict about chores..."
But obviously not so strict that Iris is able to perform chores so readily outside of her dad's house. Case in point, Eddie's apartm-- Goddammit, their apartment.
There is a distinct difference between staying over for several nights and properly moving in together. One in particular is the guilt she feels when her stuff is scattered around the apartment. It used to be met with the attitude of oh-isn't-this-cute-it's-like-you-live-here, but now it's all you-said-you'd-unpack-a-week-ago-it's-been-a-month. She also realizes Eddie wasn't just tidy because his girlfriend was spending the night, he really is this fucking clean. It makes her realize that maybe Barry wasn't the only guilty party when it came to their shared bathroom at her dad's house.
God, Iris thinks, am I really that oblivious?
A part of her replies: if it concerns Barry, then yes. Clearly.
- - -
"I guess there are still some stuff about me you don't know."
'How could he say that with a smile?' she wondered at the time. How could she not know everything?
What does it mean for their friendship that he's been in love with her even before he knew what love was?
At first, she feels like she has to get to know him all over again, unearth the bricks in the foundation of their friendship, inspect the minute things she'd missed in her complacency as best friend. Would he have treated her just the same had he not have romantic feelings for her? Iris knew unequivocally that he would.
When he told her his vision of the future, she wanted to run up to him and wrap him in her arms. He's always so good to her, her father, to everyone he's ever met. It makes her heart want to burst. Best friends forever and ever always I love you I love you so much just not like that-- But his confession has put her on hyper-alert, and every word she can say and any move she could make has to go through a filter in her head before her body can function. She settled for a fist bump.
Things will get better. They will be back to hugging in no time. Hopefully.
- - -
Barry is so. fucking. handsome.
This is not a revelation. It's something Iris has repeatedly thought about since she first met him, though in a purely platonic, objective sense. He'd always been cute, even through the puberty years and his short emo phase (his hair had grown so long that it covered his eyes, and he refused to cut it despite Iris jokingly threatening to shave his head while he slept. Her dad finally forced him to go to a barber when Barry blindly walked into the front door, shattering the stained glass at the top.)
How did he not have a steady girlfriend in all of his 25 years? Was everyone blind? Was he so clueless about his own attractiveness?
She thought so, which was one of the reasons Iris loved sharing words of affirmations with Barry on a daily basis.
But it isn't until recently that the thought of him fills her with such warmth that it distracts her from simple daily tasks and when she catches herself thinking about him, blood rushes to various parts of her body. Her cheeks, her breasts, her twisting stomach, her--
Fuck.
- - -