Chapter Text
Douxie hadn’t been getting much sleep recently. You’d think between the several hours of cleaning and training he’d collapse into bed exhausted. Instead he was plagued by his reoccurring nightmares that seemed determined to ensure he wouldn’t get one good nights sleep. After being woken up for the fifth time by a concerned Archie last night he decided to just stay awake. He huddled in his blanket and shuddered at the bad memories, waiting for the morning bell.
“Good morning Hisirdoux.” Merlin greeted absently when he arrived. The old man was digging through his books. “You can start by wiping down the sides. Then I need you to go into town to collect some ores.” He paused to study a book, mumbling to himself. “Today we’ll be practicing sleep spells.” Douxie half opened his mouth to protest but clamped it shut. He wouldn’t be practicing on himself surely. At least most of the day was menial tasks, he wouldn’t have to think much. As he cleaned, Archie wound himself round his legs, offering a small comfort. Merlin didn’t seem to notice his apprentice was quieter than usual, not that Douxie blamed him for wanting some quiet. He was about half way done he decided to go and collect the ores. Returning with the heavy bag, his back felt stiff but in a good way. The strain distracted him from even thinking about anything other than how far away the tower was.
“The ores.” Douxie offered, getting a glance at what his master was working on. It looked like some kind of ship. Maybe Merlin was going to build a boat that sailed around the world in thirty minutes or something. Merlin began to rifle through the bag, checking each ore as Douxie went back to cleaning. An hour later Merlin halted him and told him they were going to practice.
“The incantation is Interminus Nocti Sluumberso.” Merlin started. “It’s a simple spell but prolonged use can lead to memory loss. If done incorrectly it can lead to an extended sleep.” Douxie gulped slightly.
“Who am I casting on?” He asked. Maybe Merlin would let him knock Galahad out for a few hours.
“Yourself of course.” Merlin said. “I will be here to reverse it, even if you cock it up.” Douxie tried not to feel hurt by the lack of faith. “Don’t give me that look, it’s for your own safety.” Douxie fought the rise of panic. He didn’t want to cast on himself. What if he ended up trapped in his nightmares? What if he had one in front of Merlin? It would be embarrassing. But he had to prove himself to Merlin. Besides maybe enchanted sleep was different to regular sleep. Maybe he’d just be blissfully unaware. He forced calm as he sat himself crosslegged on the floor. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath before incanting.
Enchanted sleep wasn’t quite like regular sleep. It was confusing, everything jumbled and Douxie doubted he’d remember most of it. The bits he would... he’d already known for years. It was all blurry. He came to with Merlin shaking his shoulders, hard.
“Hisirdoux!” He was yelling. Douxie’s eyes snapped open and he yanked himself from Merlin’s grasp, falling on his back. He crawled away from his mentor, panting heavily and trying to ignore that horrible wetness on his face. Merlin was staring at him with a mix of confusion and concern. He held his hands out, palms facing Douxie as though approaching a scared animal. “Hisirdoux are you alright?” Douxie didn’t respond, opting to draw his knees to his chest and try to control his breathing. Archie brushed up against his leg, nuzzling his friend.
“Douxie?” Archie asked. No response. Just shaky breathing that didn’t seem to be coming under control any time soon. Merlin moves closer, being deliberately loud to not startle Douxie. He slid down next to the boy, careful not to touch him.
“Hisirdoux talk to me.” He said, lowering his voice. “I noticed when you were incanting you have shadows under your eyes. Are you getting enough sleep?” Douxie tensed. “Am I pushing you too hard?” Douxie’s head shot up.
“No Master.” He said quickly. How could Merlin possibly think this was his fault? “It’s just me. I’ve been having.” He breathed and looked away. “Having nightmares.”
“We all have nightmares from time to time.” Merlin said in a voice that was almost soft. “It’s normal. Let me know next time, I won’t do sleep spells.”
“You’re the master.” Douxie replied a little tiredly.
“Yes I am.” Merlin agreed. “Do you want to talk about it?” Douxie started to shake his head but paused and slumped his shoulders.
“My parents.” He managed. Archie rubbed against him comfortingly. “When they found out I had magic.” He sighed. “They threw me out.”
“They what?!” Merlin asked, sounding like he might go throttle them or turn them into toads. “How old were you?”
“About ten.” Douxie said, stroking Archie’s head. “I met Archie half a year later.” He smiled at the familiar that had become his constant companion. “Worst six months of my life.” He added with a shudder. Merlin was silent, mulling over his words. He pulled Douxie into a hug.
“Uh Master?” He asked, caught off guard. Merlin pulled back, hands on his shoulders to look Douxie in the eyes.
“That will never happen here.” He said firmly, not letting Douxie interrupt. “Even when you are no longer my apprentice and become a master wizard, this will always be your home. You’re my...” Merlin coughed. “You’re my apprentice, no matter what.” Douxie dropped his head onto Merlin’s shoulder, pulling Archie into the space between his legs and chest. Merlin gave him a gentle squeeze, making Douxie feel better. He knew that the nightmares wouldn’t stay away but he felt comforted in this moment. His mentor was here and now. Maybe one day he’d have the courage to tell Merlin everything. But here he’d take the comfort of someone telling him he could stay.