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Chapter Text

Nikolai was on his deathbed. No, he was already dead. He was sure of it. It was the only explanation as to why Zoya Nazyalensky was leaning over him at this late hour in all of her saintly glory. Her dark brows were knitted into a frown, blue eyes blazing beneath them. 

“I need a favor,” said Zoya. She wore a short navy dress, the hem skimming the top of her knees. She was dressed for a party. 

Nikolai sat up, reclining back on his pillows with his hands resting under his head. 

“I’m afraid you’ve caught me on my off night, Nazyalensky,” he said, gesturing to his current state. “I’ve been enjoying a rather pleasant activity called ‘sleep’. You should try it sometime.” Her lips curved into a signature Nazyalensky smirk.

“What’s this?” said Zoya. “Nikolai Lantsov turning down the opportunity to attend a party? With me?” she remarked. “I never thought I’d see the day.”

Nikolai sat up a little straighter. 

“You never said anything about going with you,” he said. Nikolai was always trying to get Zoya to go to parties with him. Usually, she’d decline, saying that she had too much homework and didn’t feel like going out. And on the one night, she decided to party, Nikolai was worn thin from his multiple engineering projects for his classes. 

“I was getting to that,” A knowing smile appeared on her face. She sat on the edge of his bed, crossing her arms over her chest. “My ex-girlfriend from high school is going to this party tonight.”

“Alina?” he asked. She nodded in response. Nikolai never met Alina, but he knew that Zoya had a complicated relationship with her. She told him it was a nasty breakup before Alina transferred high schools, leaving Zoya for some asshole who called himself “The Darkling”. 

“And what do you need me for?” he said, avoiding her eyes. He tried to ignore how cold the night air was on his bare chest. 

“I need you to pretend to be my boyfriend,” she said. Nikolai’s eyes snapped to her face. Her expression was completely neutral, even somewhat serious. 

“You want me to be your boyfriend?” he asked, stifling a laugh. 

“I didn’t say boyfriend,” she said. “I said pretend to be my boyfriend. There’s a clear distinction. For someone as clever as you, I’m surprised you missed it.”

“But you think I’m boyfriend material then,” he grinned. Zoya rolled her eyes. 

“I knew this would get to your head,” she grumbled, though she didn’t disagree. “Look, Genya and David are too wrapped up in each other for either of them to pretend to date me. The same goes for Tamar and Nadia. And Tolya has his poetry slam tonight, making him unavailable. You were my only option.” 

He wanted to ask if she meant to make Alina jealous but he didn’t know if he could stomach her answer. He hoped that she simply didn’t want to be alone.

“Alright, you got me Zoya. I’m intrigued,” he said, throwing off his covers. He gestured for Zoya to turn around while he got dressed. Nikolai chose to wear a sensible forest green button-up shirt with a pair of cuffed khaki pants. When he was finished, Zoya turned back to face him and shook her head. 

“It’s not right,” she said, waving him over. 

She drew in close to him, and he caught a whiff of her perfume. She smelled like floral summer air mixed with an ocean breeze. Zoya brought a hand up to the first of his shirt buttons, undoing it. She worked her way down, stopping halfway. “I thought you had style,” she muttered. After fixing his rolled-up sleeves, she placed a few long necklaces over his head, hanging low and loose on his chest. She took a step back as if admiring her handiwork then turned and grabbed a handful of bracelets from his bedside table. She sorted through the lot, sliding the ones she deemed worthy to wear onto his wrist. Zoya held up a green beaded bracelet. “This will go great with your eyes,” she said.  

“I think you’re enjoying this a little too much,” he said, trying not to think about her grip on his forearm. Her hand was ice on already cold skin but Nikolai felt it was more refreshing rather than uncomfortable. 

“I’m just trying to make sure you look presentable,” she insisted as she reached up to tousle his hair. 

“Oh come on, you know me, Zoya. I’m nothing if not presentable at any given moment,” he said with a grin. 

“You’re insufferable is what you are. Now stay still while I fix your hair,” she said. She combed through his hair a couple more times before giving a nod of approval. 

“So,” he said cheerily as they headed out of his dorm room. What’s our story?” Zoya frowned. 

“Story?” she echoed. “There is no story. We’re just dating.” He followed her out of the building, shaking his head. Her car awaited them under the dorm’s nearest street light. 

“Zoya, Zoya, Zoya,” he tutted. “I’m telling you it’s an amateur move not to have a story.”

“Please,” she huffed, getting into the car. “Like you’ve ever been asked on a fake date before.” 

He hadn’t, of course, but his silence was well worth Zoya’s endearing expression of disbelief.  He shrugged and got into the front seat. 

“I’m just saying, do you want this to be believable or not?” he asked. 

“Fine, we can do a story. Nothing too out of character, please,” she said. 

“Hmmm, let’s see,” said Nikolai, thinking aloud. “Obviously we met at school. I fell madly and hopelessly in love with you once I saw you demolish your opponent in a mock trial case.” 

“Ah yes, the raw magnetism of an excellent cross-examination,” drawled Zoya. “The perfect love story.” 

“I’m not done yet!” he exclaimed. “You on the other hand took a little while to succumb to my natural charm.”

Zoya laughed. “That’s what you call it?” 

“Eventually,” he continued, shooting her a pointed look. “You gave in to my relentless pining because, at the end of the day, you felt the same way. We’ve been dating in secret for a year. You keep me in line and I keep you on your toes.” 

“Not bad,” she said. “And the secret part would help cover us if we see people from school at the party. Which we probably will.” She was silent for a moment as they drove on. “You know it’s funny. People always come up to me to ask if I’m your girlfriend. And I know people have asked you if you’re my boyfriend.” 

“Then we’ve got them fooled already,” he said. 

Zoya was nervous as she entered the room with Nikolai on her arm. The ruthless part of her that came up with the idea was slightly regretful for dragging him into her mess. Although Zoya was no longer a foolish, emotional teenager, she wanted the satisfaction of showing Alina that she was happier without her.

Nikolai was the only candidate in her mind. He was handsome, funny, and, though she’d never admit it to him, charming. He was the closest thing to a fairy tale prince Zoya could imagine. Above all, he was a good friend. Nikolai was supportive and reliable, always there when she needed help. Zoya hated needing, disliked feeling dependent. But Nikolai never questioned her. 

Sometimes, she found the status of their friendship hard to define. She would linger a moment too long or lean in too close. His breath would hitch and his eyes would flick to her lips. Perhaps she’d only imagined it. But that was the fun of the game with him. They’d tease and flirt seeing just how far the other would go. She recalled a few occasions when she wished she’d been more of a coward. Maybe it could have prevented her inkling of a crush on Nikolai Lantsov. Her feelings were annoying. Distracting. Why think about ruining the friendship when they had something great already? 

“Zoya!” exclaimed a familiar voice, pulling her from her thoughts. A white-haired girl waved one hand in the air. The other was clasped in the hand of a tall boy with brown hair and a moody expression. Zoya plastered a smile onto her face and walked over with Nikolai to the couple. 

“Alina, it’s so good to see you,” Zoya said, pulling her into a hug. 

“You too! How’ve you been? This is my boyfriend, Mal, by the way, ” said Alina. Zoya was thankful she wasn’t dating Aleksander anymore. “I met him after I broke up with Aleksander. Sorry about that by the way, I was going through a phase.” 

“That guy sucked,” said Zoya at the same time Mal said, “I hate that guy.” 

“How long have you two been together?” asked Zoya. She wasn’t as annoyed at Alina as she expected herself to be. Alina seemed happy. Who was Zoya to stop her?

“Two years,” said Mal. “We started dating in freshman year.” 

“I actually met him once when we were kids,” said Alina. “We stayed at the same orphanage for a little while. I like to think it was a twist of fate that brought us together.” 

Zoya waited for the horrible twinge of jealousy to hit. It never came. Alina and Mal were sickeningly cute together. 

“I’m happy for you, Alina.” She found that she meant it. It was probably time to introduce them to Nikolai. “This is my boyfriend Nikolai Lantsov,” she said, keeping her voice steady. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Zoya here has told me a lot about you,” said Nikolai, extending his hand to Alina and then to Mal. 

“When did you two start dating?” she asked, shaking his hand. “You didn’t tell me you had a boyfriend!” she said to Zoya.

“Well, it all started in our freshman year,” he said. Zoya fought the urge to roll her eyes. “I was watching the first mock trial debate when the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen walks up and starts debating and arguing as if her life depended on it. I think by the end the other lawyer almost cried.” 

“You’re quite the romantic, aren’t you,” said Alina with a laugh.  

“It was truly a sight to behold,” said Nikolai. “We shared some mutual friends and started hanging out. One thing led to another and now we’ve been dating for a year.” He peered down at Zoya, a light smile on his face. “It took a while for you to realize you were into me though,”

“No,” said Zoya. “I always knew I was into you. You just weren’t paying enough attention,” she said. 

“Well, at least I know you love me now,” he winked. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go get us some drinks. Mal, do you want to come with me?” 

Mal nodded. “We’ll leave you two to catch up,” he said, following Nikolai through the gathering crowd on the dance floor. 

“Zoya, I’m glad we’re doing this. And I’m so happy for you,” Alina said. For some reason, she always reminded Zoya of the sun when she smiled. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you this in love.” 

“What do you mean?” asked Zoya. She didn’t think she looked at Nikolai any different than she normally did. 

“The way you look at him when he talks,” Alina said as if it were obvious. “It’s written all over your face.” 

“Alina, we both know for a fact that I have a severe case of resting bitch face.” 

“That’s my point!” exclaimed Alina. “I don’t know, I just think you look at him differently. And don’t even get me started on how Nikolai is focused on you. Honestly, I would never have thought you’d like someone like him.” 

“Neither did I,” she said. “His personality was kind of a lot at first, but he grew on me. Like a benign tumor.” Alina gave her a puzzled look. “Yeah, that’s one way to put it,” said Zoya, nodding to herself. 

“Zoya?” said a voice. “Is that you?” Zoya whipped around to see Genya Safin, hanging on the arm of her boyfriend, David. Like Zoya, David rarely ever attended parties, mostly because he didn’t enjoy them. 

“Genya,” she said. “What are you doing here? I thought you and David were going out on a date tonight.” Zoya knew she’d see people from school. She didn’t think that people would be her friends. 

“Our date finished early and we heard there was a party,” said Genya. “I practically had to drag him here though,” she said, jabbing her thumb at David. She turned her attention toward Alina. “I’m Genya Safin, Zoya’s roommate,” she explained. 

“I’m David,” said David. 

“Nice to meet you guys,” said Alina. “You must know Nikolai as well then,” she said. “Aren’t he and Zoya the cutest couple ever?” 

Zoya’s stomach dropped. This was not good. 

“Oh my god,” said Genya, whirling on Zoya. “How could you not tell me? I can’t believe it finally happened!” She turned to Alina. “You wouldn’t believe how long I’ve been waiting for this to happen, it’s ridiculous.” She turned back to Zoya, waving a finger in her face. “I need an explanation for all of this. When? How?” 

“Wait, you didn’t know?” asked Alina. 

“I may have forgotten to mention that Nikolai and I were dating in secret for a year,” said Zoya. 

“A year?” repeated Genya. “I should’ve known. Damn you both.” 

Just then, Nikolai returned with Mal, drinks sloshing in their hands. If he was surprised to see Genya and David, he didn’t show it. 

“Hey Genya,” he said while handing Zoya her drink. She took a large sip, wincing at the strength of the alcohol. “Nice to see you, David.” 

“Don’t ‘Hey Genya’ me!” she exclaimed. “You two were dating for a year and didn’t tell anyone.” 

“Surprise!” said Nikolai enthusiastically. “Are you surprised?” 

“No, I’m just mad I didn’t know. Think of all the double dates we could’ve gone on,” she said. 

“That’s exactly what I was thinking of, Genya.” Zoya teased. “At least now you know,”

“Come on, David,” said Genya, taking his arm. “Let’s go dance while I try to forget this betrayal of friendship,” she said dramatically, disappearing into the crowd. David shrugged and followed her. Nikolai downed his cup in one gulp. 

“Let’s all go together,” said Nikolai, racing towards the dance floor. 

“Nikolai, wait-” 

Nikolai yanked on Zoya’s arm, pulling her with him. He stopped abruptly in an open space. She was going to crash. They were going to crash-- Nikolai caught her smoothly in his arms, pulling their hips together and swaying to the music. One arm was wrapped around her waist, his hand low on her back. The other hand was on her shoulder, slightly stiffened from catching her. Zoya’s hands were braced on his chest, stopping them from colliding any further. 

“Give me a warning next time, will you?” she muttered. 

Alina and Mal appeared next to them and something sparked inside of Zoya. She wasn’t exactly jealous of Mal like she thought she would be. But she recognized the feeling of jealousy nonetheless. What was she jealous of, if not of Mal being with Alina? Zoya couldn’t place it. 

“Zoya heads up, I’m gonna kiss you,” Nikolai whispered. She snapped her head away from the couple. Before she could form her next thought, his lips were on hers. There was something sweet about his mouth, probably the remnants of his sugary drink. Zoya couldn’t think straight, and the only word that raced through her mind was more. She tilted her head up towards him, allowing Nikolai better access to her mouth. One of his hands had made its way into her hair, tangled gently at the roots. Zoya’s hands wandered from cupping his jaw down to the warm skin of his exposed chest. She silently thanked herself for leaving the buttons of his shirt mostly undone. She slid her hand over his heart and was surprised to find it hammering under her palm. 

“Nikolai,” she breathed while he kissed her neck. He pulled away slowly, breathing hard. 

“You guys kiss like you’ve never kissed each other before,” said Mal. Zoya and Nikolai turned their heads in shock to look at Mal who stood a few feet away, swaying with Alina in his arms.

“Mal!” exclaimed Alina, hitting her boyfriend on the arm. “Let them be, they’re in love.”

Zoya nodded, trying her best not to look at Nikolai. 

“We’re in love,” she echoed. “If you’ll excuse me, I need to get another drink.” 

She walked away, still feeling where his lips were pressed against her skin. She touched a hand to her neck. This would certainly do nothing to soothe her stupid crush on Nikolai. She cursed herself for acting like a lovestruck teenager. She pulled her hand away from her neck, frowning at the clamminess. She stared in disbelief at her slightly shaking fingers. Trembling and weak in the knees with one damned kiss. Zoya scoffed, balling her hand into a fist. 

You wouldn’t be feeling this way if it were only a crush, said the rational, yet annoying part of her brain. 

I think I’m in love with Zoya Nazyalensky. Nikolai had never let himself think the words into existence. But he was far too gone to ignore the truth any longer. Perhaps it was the alcohol in his system that weakened his mental shields. Maybe it was the way he saw Zoya look at Mal and Alina, envy in her eyes. 

Nikolai stood away from the crowd, sidelined against a wall. It was too loud on the dance floor anyways. He felt too warm and too flushed. Too in love with someone who still had feelings for someone else. Granted, he knew what he was getting into when he’d agreed to be her pretend boyfriend. But things were getting a little too… real. 

He needed some air. 

Nikolai made his way through the party, stepping out into the cool night air on the porch. 

“So are you going to tell me what that whole thing was about?” asked Zoya appearing beside him. Nikolai shoved his feelings aside. It was easy to pretend. He thought he could do it forever if she asked him to. 

“Just doing my duty as the perfect fake boyfriend,” he said, shooting her a half-hearted smile. “I saw the way you were looking at them and figured I could help you out.” 

Zoya said nothing. She swirled her drink around in her cup, staring at the moon. 

“You thought I was jealous?” she asked. 

“Weren’t you?” He waited for her to answer. 

“I’m not sure,” she replied. “I was. But not of Mal. I think it was what they had.” Relief flooded through him. She laughed pitifully. “I’m sorry I dragged you out here tonight. I should’ve let you rest. I was just a little insecure.” She frowned. “Don’t tell anyone I said that.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” said Nikolai. “This was fun.” Getting to kiss Zoya and being her boyfriend was fun. Selfishly worrying that she spent the night pining over someone else was not. She wasn’t his to lose, after all. 

“Thanks for being here with me, Nikolai. I mean it,” she said with a small smile. “At least tell me how I can return the favor?” 

“Save me another dance when we get back to the dorm,” he said. 

“Another dance it is,” she agreed, looping her arm through his as they headed back inside. 

They’d spent the last hour of the party talking to Alina and Mal, telling a lively mix of true and false stories about their time at school. But after catching a ride back to the dorms with Genya and David, they were alone once more. 

Zoya lingered in Nikolai’s doorway, hesitant to step in. She only lived one floor above him; there was no need for her to stay. 

“I was serious about that dance, you know,” said Nikolai. 

“I suppose it’s only fair,” said Zoya. She settled in his arms and couldn’t ignore how right they felt around her. Nikolai set on some casual slow dance music, swaying them around the room. She stared up into his hazel eyes, wondering what was going through his head. 

They were a messy pair. 

She fiddled with one of the bracelets on his wrist, twisting the beads between her fingers as they danced. Nikolai’s hand brushed over hers, causing her to lift her head from where it rested on his chest. She peered up at him, trying to ignore her uneven breaths. He traced lightly over the inside of her wrist before sliding their palms together, fingers interlocking. Nikolai was backed against the wall, she noticed. It must have happened while they were dancing. He held her closer to him, their faces only inches apart. 

“Dancing is always a dangerous game with you,” she said. 

“Really?” he said, eyes dipping down to her lips. “I think we should do it more often,”

Zoya met him in the middle, closing the gap between them. She pressed one chaste kiss to his awaiting mouth before pulling away. 

“It’s getting late,” she said. “I should get back to my dorm.” She dropped her hand from Nikolai’s, making her way towards the door. 

“Zoya?” he asked. “What if you stayed? Just for tonight.” He wanted her to stay. She wanted to stay with him. She scolded herself, saying she’d already taken up enough of his time. But her exhausted mind was brave enough to admit that she hadn’t had enough of him yet. 

The words “just for tonight” rang in her ears. A reminder that their arrangement was temporary and technically already over. 

“Just for tonight,” she agreed, taking him by the hand. Nikolai removed his jewelry on his way to the bed. Zoya followed, doing the same. Wordlessly, they settled next to each other under the covers, still dressed in their party clothes. She rolled on her side and Nikolai draped an arm around her, pressing her back to his chest. 

“Goodnight, Zoya,” he muttered. He pressed a kiss to the side of her neck and her heart lurched. 

“Goodnight, Nikolai,” she said, placing her hand securely on top of his. 

Nikolai's outfit is inspired by @behnsi 's grishaverse modern au art on Instagram!! check it out here!!

Chapter Text

Zoya was embarrassed at how abruptly she left the next morning. She awoke with a start, instantly registering that the postered walls were not her own. Nikolai lay beside her snoring lightly, an arm casually draped around her waist as if it were the most natural thing in the world. 

It was exactly why she had to leave. The heat of his skin and the comfort of the covers were not enough to fool her into offering up her heart on a platter. She needed his easy smiles, their quick-worded banter, and the way he put up with her ruthlessness. If anything shattered their carefully constructed friendship, Zoya wouldn’t be the one waiting around to pick up the pieces just to cut herself while trying. 

She slipped away soundlessly, gathering the remainder of her things and heading out the door. Her heart pounded in her chest as her traitorous mind replayed and replayed the events of the previous night. 

They’d successfully convinced everyone around them that they’d been dating for at least a year. She’d stolen glances and he’d played the part dutifully. They’d kissed, multiple times, and she’d wanted more. They’d danced and laughed until something about it wasn’t funny anymore. 

And then he’d uttered the painfully ambiguous words “just for tonight.” 

Zoya scoffed. At this rate, her damned crush was becoming unmanageable. No matter how hard she tried, all her thoughts returned to Nikolai, Nikolai, Nikolai.  Even as she opened the door to her dorm room to find Genya standing crossed armed in front of her face. 

“Zoya Liliyana Nazyalensky!” she exclaimed with narrowed eyes. “You have some serious explaining to do.” 

“How long have you been standing there?” she asked, pushing past her usually well-tempered roommate. 

Genya whirled around, red hair flying wildly doing nothing to help the crazed look in her eye. “How long have you been dating Nikolai?” 

Zoya walked over to the kitchen and started to make herself some coffee. Genya’s inquisition was quite counterproductive to her newfound resolve to think about anything but their mutual blonde friend. They needed to get a new machine. Really, was it so hard to get a decent cup of french roast around here? 

“I asked you first,” she shot back, pouring herself a cup. A juvenile move conversationally speaking, but avoidance was her goal, and Zoya was nothing if not a tactician. 

Genya huffed, muttering under her breath. The two didn’t fight often and it was hard to take her seriously when she was wearing an endearingly nerdy t-shirt that read “pre-med hottie” on it. She supposed the words were true enough. 

“I’ve been standing there all morning if you must know,” she said. “I figured you were with Nikolai since you headed off together. Which is what you need to explain. Why didn’t you say anything?” 

Zoya shrugged, taking a purposefully long sip of her coffee, much to Genya’s annoyance. 

“What’s there to say? We’re not dating. I asked him to pretend to be my boyfriend for the night since Alina was visiting. A moment of insecurity.” she replied, keeping her voice even. Perhaps if she played it off as nothing, her mind would stop trying to make it something. 

“Then why did you stay the night?” Genya asked skeptically. Zoya was annoyed that her friend’s skepticism was not unfounded. She’d been asking herself the same question. 

“I was tired after the party.” was all she said. Genya’s face was frozen in disbelief. 

“If you’re not ready to talk about this, that’s fine with me,” she said, maneuvering around Zoya’s place at the table to pour herself a cup. She was baiting her with their usual gossip routine, sitting around the coffee table sipping at their drinks. 

“I’m sorry for lying to you if that’s what you mean,” she said. “It was a moment of weakness, as I said. But there will be none of that going forward. Next time I see Alina, I won’t need to pretend to be in a relationship.” And it was true. She was satisfied enough with being single that it didn’t matter if she was in a relationship or not. That particular moment of clarity lasted all of two seconds before Nikolai kissed her. Then she realized it wasn’t about being single, it was that she’d wanted Nikolai and not Alina. 

“You know damn well that’s not what I mean,” she paused. “Well, I am upset about that too. But you seemed pretty committed to the whole fake dating thing. 

“Commit to the bit, and all that,” said Zoya. She wanted to explain everything to Genya. The problem was that she didn’t know what everything was. “Things are going back to normal as of now. It was a one-time-only deal and Nikolai is a good friend which is why he agreed to do it.”

“Yes. Nikolai is a good friend, isn’t he? Perhaps we should dive into that.” Genya nodded, eyes wide as if to say “yes, I’ll entertain her delusion because she needs it.” 

“I feel like you’re ignoring my words on purpose. As I’ve said before, there is nothing to talk about.” Zoya said. “And if there ever is, you’ll be the first to know.” She hoped her stubbornness would outlast Genya’s. 

“If you insist,” she said. “You’re still down to study at the library with me and Nina right?” Zoya was grateful for the change in subject. “I’ve also invited Inej from history class.” 

“Yes, especially after last night. One party and I’m already behind on my poli-sci homework,” she said forcing a smile. 

The emptiness beside Nikolai felt colder than usual. The rational part of him said not to take Zoya’s absence personally. It was totally within her right to leave; they weren’t dating after all. She had no obligation to stay until the morning. It was a good thing, even. Told him everything he needed to know about Zoya’s feelings toward him. 

For a moment, his stomach dropped. Had she stayed the night out of pity? Poor Nikolai with his unrequited love toward a woman who wanted nothing more than to be his friend. Deep-rooted embarrassment took hold of him. But then he realized that if Zoya hadn’t wanted to stay, she would’ve left immediately. When her mind was made up, there was no changing it. 

And they’d kissed, alone in the quiet of the dorm with no one around to perform for. A thank-you kiss, he reasoned. It’d been short and sweet and left him wishing that their agreement was real. 

Nikolai sighed, running his hand through his hair. He leaned over to his nightstand to grab his phone and his cheeks flushed. Zoya’s floral perfume lingered on her side of the bed, a cruel reminder of everything that happened and how nothing was going to change. He shifted over to the side where she’d been only a few hours before, laying his head on her pillow. The faint scent of wildflowers and a fresh ocean breeze clung to the sheets, invading his senses. 

Shame did not come easily to Nikolai but this was a new low. 

The fact was that Zoya Nazyalensky simply did not want him but all he ever wanted was her. And he could live with that. After last night, he needed to. 

He didn’t know how long he stayed in bed until his phone buzzed. A text from Zoya. 

Zoya (the general): Thanks again for last night. Sorry I left, had a study date with the girls. 

Nikolai sighed in relief. She didn’t hate him and they were still friends. He typed out a casual response. 

Nikolai : no worries! told you i’d be the best fake boyfriend ever

Zoya (the general): Ah yes, my other fake partners are cowering in fear. 

He smiled at his phone. This he could do. A return to normalcy, comfortable, and teasing, a sign that everything was okay. 

Nikolai: want to meet up later? there’s a new cafe i’ve been dying to go to and i need your opinion on it. either way you’ll get a free meal 

She took a few minutes to respond, which was never a good sign. 

Zoya (the general): Sorry, I’ve got a lot of midterms coming up this week. Maybe another time. 

This week? That made it seem like he wouldn’t see her in a while. Perhaps things were not as fine as he initially thought. But he knew how seriously she took her studies so it wasn’t completely implausible that she was too busy to see him. 

Nikolai let out a frustrated huff. Insecurity was not his strong suit and he wasn’t about to let it become one. She was busy. That’s all it was. 

But as much as he told himself it was fine, the sting of rejection burned each day he didn’t see her. It always went the same way: she’d chat with him as usual, give him hope that their friendship was secure. Then she would turn down his request to see her. The excuses were always the same. Too busy. Too tired. With the girls. Next time. Nikolai waited and waited for a next time that never seemed to arrive. 

He saw her in passing, of course. Their school was small enough that he’d see her on the way to class or coming back from a study session. She entertained his small talk as usual then bid him goodbye. Normal, normal, normal except for the fact that she wouldn’t see him outside of that. And that was what killed him, slowly and subtly like a poison ingested over time. 

After what must have been weeks, Nikolai had enough. 

“Have either of you seen Zoya recently?” he asked David and Tolya at the end of their weekly run. 

“Saw her just last night,” said Tolya, and Nikolai groaned. “Got dinner with her and Nina at the dining hall before she went off to study. Why?”

“Shit. She’s totally avoiding me.” The anxious feeling that had chipped away at his insides intensified. 

“What makes you think that?” asked David. “I thought you were dating.” Sweet, oblivious David. Nikolai brought his hand to his forehead and massaged his temples. 

“No, we’re not,” Nikolai said. “I feel like I haven’t seen her in weeks, ever since that night.” 

“You should say something,” said Tolya. “Clearly it's bothering you.” He put a hand to his chin as if in thought. “Perhaps some poetry-”

“Sorry, Tolya, but there are some things that poetry can’t fix,” he said. “But I need to talk to her.” 

He returned to his dorm, wondering what he would say. Initially, he thought he understood why she wanted space. Their friendship was often one of blurred lines but somehow, that night he’d crossed it. Maybe they’d crossed it together and it was too much. 

Nikolai pulled out his phone and hit the call button. So much for having a plan. 

“Nikolai?” she asked. He felt his heart clench at the sound of her voice. Get a grip, Nikolai. 

“Zoya! Good to know you’re alive,” he said. “I think we need to talk,” The line was silent for a moment. 

“You’re right. But I’d like to see you in person. When are you free?” she asked. 

“Later tonight.” He wanted to say more, so much more, but it would have to wait. 

“See you then.” She hung up. 

Nikolai racked his brain thinking of all the possibilities of their future conversation. We can’t be friends. I never want to see you again. You’re a bad kisser. Had he come on too strong? His ever-growing feelings for her had never been a problem for him until then. Dancing is a dangerous game with you. I think we should do it more often. His own words floated back to him, the words he said before she reached up to kiss him. And then he’d asked her to stay, selfishly, desperately. That moment tormented him more often than he cared to admit. It was the moment when everything went wrong and he wasn’t sure why. 

Zoya looked out across the lake connected to her campus, admiring the way the sun disappeared behind the trees while the moon rose steadily behind her. It was all she could do to soothe the pit of nerves in her stomach. Nikolai’s call hadn’t been unexpected, though she thought she’d been more subtle at avoiding him. Apparently not. 

How could she explain that all she wanted to do was be around him? That her avoidance of him was for their own good? He didn’t want her like she wanted him. Well, she didn’t know if that was true or not, and perhaps she was too scared to find out. 

“Zoya,” Nikolai called, and her breath caught as she turned around. The fading light set his golden hair aglow, forming a halo around his head. After denying herself of his presence for so long, she drank him in greedily like a starved woman. 

“It’s good to see you,” she said, forgetting whatever half-assed plan she had for the conversation. Zoya scolded herself for choosing such an unintentionally romantic location to meet with him. 

“Look, I’m just going to say it. I’m sorry for crossing any lines that night. It was a mistake and I promise it will never happen again,” he said. Strangely, he was avoiding eye contact with her. “You’ve been avoiding me for a while, and I get it, you need space-“

“Let’s just forget it ever happened,” she said. A mistake. “I’m sorry for pushing you away… I didn’t mean to.” It scared her how one person could make her feel so weak. She was afraid that if he looked too close he’d see right through her. 

Nikolai broke out into one of his shining smiles, though this one didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“Just promise me you won’t do it again,” he said, looping an arm around her shoulder. The sky was more a dusky blue now than a warm orange. “To think you went so long without seeing my ridiculously handsome face! How did you ever survive?” he said, putting the back of his hand to his forehead in a faux swoon. 

“You put the ridiculous in ridiculously handsome, that’s for sure,” she scoffed but couldn’t help the smile from spreading on her face.  

“Oh, how I’ve missed your expertise in backhandedness. It’s truly an art,” he remarked. 

It was easy to fall back into their old friendship, like a favorite sweater worn soft and faded from the years. But there was something different now, something she couldn’t quite place. 

Was it disappointment? Zoya scolded herself. There was no use in being disappointed over something she couldn’t control. They were friends and nothing more. Entertaining fantasies of a relationship with Nikolai were not only dangerous but pathetic. It was all a big mistake, one that couldn’t be repeated on either side. 

So Zoya resigned herself to friendship, pretending not to be disappointed when Nikolai leaned in for a hug instead of a kiss. It was the last she would allow herself to feel on the matter. One last bit of longing until she buried her feelings so deep they wouldn’t ever surface again. 

-3 months later-

It took every ounce of willpower to keep Nikolai from repeatedly bashing his head against the nearest wall. Nikolai may have loved his family but that did not mean he loved spending time with them. That and it felt like what had to be the longest, dullest dinner of his entire life. He saw it for what it truly was, an excuse for Vasily to brag about his upcoming wedding. As it was only a week away, his parents spent most of the time talking to Vasily about the final details. Nikolai was on his 100th escape plan when his mother turned to him. 

“Nikolai, you’ve been uncharacteristically quiet,” she said. “How are your studies going?” 

“Yes,” said Vasily, with a smirk on his face. “What was your major again?” It was a bit of a sore spot with his family that he decided on engineering rather than, in his father’s words, ‘something practical’ like business or economics. 

“Engineering,” he said, even though they all knew his major. “It’s going well actually. I’m applying for an internship for the summer at a few of the labs.” 

“That’s wonderful, Nikolai!” his mother said. “I’m glad you’ll have something to keep you occupied.” 

“No business classes in your schedule?” asked his father. “If you get one in before the summer, I might be able to pull some strings and get you an internship at one of my financing firms.” Nikolai was about to answer when his brother cut in, a cat-like grin on his face. 

“Don’t you know Nikolai doesn’t like that kind of stuff, Father? No, he’d rather ‘work for what he gets’” he said. Vasily turned to Nikolai, who was trying very hard not to say something he’d regret. “Don’t think of it as nepotism, think of it as using every available resource. ” Nikolai fought the urge to roll his eyes. 

“While I appreciate the offer, my engineering classes take up most of my schedule, along with my history minor,” he said. “I’m thinking of double majoring if I have the time.” 

“Well let me know if you ever change your mind,” his father said. For some reason, it wasn’t enough that Vasily had joined the family business. His father always made comments about his decision to major in engineering. 

“I will,” he said. He would never change his mind. 

“Forgive me for prying but how is the dating scene at your university?” his mother asked. “It’s a rather small school, isn’t it? With Vasily getting married…” The sudden change in topic threw Nikolai off guard. The dating question was inevitable after not seeing his family for a while. 

“Anyone in mind to accompany you to the wedding?” asked Vasily. 

“Well, I’ve been too busy with clubs and projects for class to go out much,” he said, lying through his teeth. The truth was, even with all of his extracurriculars and dedication to his academics, Nikolai did enjoy going out. In the past few months, he’d enjoyed various parties with various different dates. Most recently he’d gone out with a guy named Dominik whom he’d met at a party. They’d danced and flirted practically the whole night. He was a swimmer a physics major, and sickeningly sweet. Nikolai could envision himself going on more dates with him and enjoying himself. A cute attentive and did he mention, swimmer, was into him. What wasn’t there to like? Nikolai had asked himself that question as his thoughts inevitably drifted back to Zoya. 

“Surely there must be someone you have in mind,” his brother said. “If not, I could introduce you to one of the bridesmaids?” 

“Yes,” his mother said nodding. This was a disaster waiting to happen. The last thing Nikolai wanted was his family butting into his love life. “Perhaps I could set something up for you. You know Ehri, don’t you? Her parents are in the financial industry with your father, and she’s around your age.” 

“I’ve heard the son of one of my investors is newly single. His father is a very important man.” his father remarked. “I’ve heard he’s quite a handsome young man.” 

Nikolai pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t in a nightmare. This was mortifying. No, beyond mortifying. What parallel world had he entered where his family was trying to matchmake? 

“Is it really that important that I attend with someone?” he asked. “I mean, I’m not even the best man. Who will be paying attention?” 

“Nikolai, as glad as I am that you’re focused on your studies, it is time you start thinking about these things.” his mother said with a worried expression on her face. 

“Now about the bridesmaids,” said Vasily smiling and pulling out his phone. He was enjoying this too much for Nikolai’s liking. His mother did the same, squinting down at her screen. 

“I’m sure I have Ehri’s parent’s numbers in here somewhere,” she said. Nikolai did not trust his family for one second to set him up with anyone, particularly Vasily. Even if he agreed to be someone’s date to the wedding, he’d have to put in the effort of pretending to entertain what was really a thinly veiled connection for his family to strengthen. A bridesmaid. A daughter or son of a business partner. Nikolai wanted no part of it. 

“I’m dating someone, actually.” The words were out of his mouth before he could properly think them through. His family stopped chattering at once and turned to him. 

“But I thought you said-” his mother began. 

“Sorry, we wanted to keep it a secret,” he said, again, without thinking. His mother and father exchanged a concerned look while Vasily only looked skeptical. 

“Well, who is this mystery person?” Vasily asked. 

“Someone from school,” he said. “You probably wouldn’t know them.” He hoped that would be enough to stall them but it seemed curiosity ran in the family. 

“How long have you been dating? And why would you keep it a secret?” scolded his mother. 

“I’d say about a year? And you know how rumors fly at small schools like mine.” He wondered how vague he could get until they’d drop it. 

“A year!” his father exclaimed. “That’s quite a while, Nikolai. You must bring them to the wedding. I can’t believe we’ve never met this person before.” 

“What did you say their name was, darling?” Tatiana asked. They all turned to him expectantly. Nikolai’s mind raced, trying to think of a name. 

“Zoya.” He’d said it without meaning to. His mouth seemed to have a mind of its own tonight. 

“Oh, I remember her,” said Vasily, a touch of disdain in his voice. “That’s the mean one.” While Vasily’s statement wasn’t incorrect, he’d failed to mention that the reason she was the ‘mean one’ was that Vasily had tried to hit on her the first time they’d met. Nikolai had cringed while Zoya verbally eviscerated his brother and sent him away red-faced and mumbling. 

“Bring her along to the wedding,” said his mother. “Your father and I would love to meet her.” 

“Great,” said Nikolai, trying not to wince. “I’ll let her know,” At that, his parents and Vasily seemed satisfied. Nikolai spent the rest of the dinner in shock wondering what he’d just done. 

Zoya tried her best to keep a neutral expression but from the look on Nikolai’s face, she didn’t seem to be doing a great job. He waved his hands frantically as he explained his situation, rambling on about his “big mouth”, “wedding, and “family.” 

“Nikolai, why on earth would you tell them I’m your girlfriend,” she said. Nikolai groaned and covered his face with his hands. She would’ve thought it was cute if she wasn’t so annoyed. The months after their first fake dating act had gone by without a problem ever since their talk. 

“I’m so sorry, Zoya. You have every right to kill me where I stand, but I do need to attend my brother’s wedding, so if you could kill me after…” Zoya crossed her arms. 

“Now’s not really the time to be funny,” she said curtly. She would help him, of course. It was only fair. But after what happened last time, she was hesitant. Zoya massaged her temples, feeling a headache starting to form. “You are the most frustrating, most ridiculous person I have ever met.” 

“I’m honored,” he said. “That’s quite the accomplishment.” Zoya glared at him.

“What did I say about being funny?” she said. 

“I know, I know. Sorry, it's a nervous habit.” he was quiet for a moment. “I completely understand if you don’t want to come. Like I said, I panicked.” 

“No, I’ll go,” she said. “After this, we’ll really be even.” Without warning, Nikolai launched himself at her, arms wrapping around her. 

“Oh my god, Zoya you are a saint, really,” he said. “For what it's worth, I wouldn't voluntarily spend time with my family either.” 

“Well, at least Vasily is getting married so he can’t hit on me,” Zoya laughed. Nikolai pulled out of the hug, face full of doubt. 

“I wouldn’t put it past him, honestly,” he said, and Zoya made a fake gagging noise. 

“I can’t believe he’s getting married,” she said incredulously. “Who’d want to marry that sleazeball? No offense.” 

“None taken. And I honestly have no idea. Anya is very nice too. Not a clue what she sees in him.” He settled his arms loosely around her and she had the strangest urge to kiss him. If she was honest, the urge was always there, lying just beneath the surface. The past months between them had returned to normal for the most part, other than that her stupid crush refused to die. 

“But seriously, I can’t thank you enough. Maybe I’ll buy you some expensive perfume or whatever,” he said. “Anything you want. We can go to the mall right after the reception,” 

“Is this your way of saying you don’t like my perfume,” she said raising an eyebrow. 

“Quite the opposite, actually,” he said and to her surprise, he leaned in to inhale by her neck. Zoya ignored the sudden heat on her face. “I’d buy you the whole world if you wanted. You’d deserve it after putting up with my family for two days.” 

“Now you’re just being dramatic,” she said, swatting his arm. “I’m thinking of it as a vacation. Three days at a private beach resort for free? Sign me up.” 

“I think you’re also forgetting three days spent with my out-of-touch family and all of their asshole guests. But I suppose you have a point,” he said. 

“I think if you’d asked around people would’ve thrown themselves at you to be your date. Free vacation and you’re not horrible looking,” she said. 

“Wow, you sure know how to make a guy feel confident,” he said, grinning. “You know, I’m starting to think you’re using me for my money.” 

“That’s so shallow, Nikolai,” she said in mock offense. “Now give me your credit card so I can pick out a dress for the wedding.” 

Chapter Text

“Nikolai, stop fidgeting with your tie. You look fine,” Zoya said as Nikolai proceeded to prod and poke at his tie. Zoya glanced around the parking lot as they headed into the resort. It was right along the beach, just as advertised. She could see the crash of the waves just over the dunes. “It’s just the rehearsal dinner. Why are you freaking out?” 

“As I’m sure you’ll find out very soon, my family is somewhat stress-inducing,” he said, running his hand through his hair several times, enough for Zoya to grab his wrist. “So forgive me if I’m not my usual cheery Nikolai self.” Zoya smoothly shifted her palm into his, catching his fingers with hers. It seemed to be enough to grab his attention that he stopped to look at her, an unreadable expression in his hazel eyes. She turned away, gazing toward the ocean instead.

“Why do I have to be here again?” she asked. The real wedding isn’t until tomorrow.” They’d arrived at the door, hands still intertwined. 

“Emotional support?” he shrugged. “Plus I figured my family should meet you before tomorrow. Since we’ve been dating for a year.” Zoya nodded, though her nerves were still a little on edge. She’d met Nikolai’s brother once in what had been a severely uncomfortable exchange and had never spoken to him again. His parents were a different story. From what she gathered, Nikolai had a somewhat complicated relationship with them. 

“Same story as last time then,” she said. 

“If it’s not broken, don’t fix it,” he replied. “Are you ready,” he asked, one hand on the door. “There’s no going back after we walk through this door.”  Zoya smiled in return. If he didn’t feel confident, she’d have to pick up the slack. 

“Don’t worry. Your family will think we’re so in love, they’ll be planning our wedding next,” she said. She’d said it as a joke but she could tell how the smile on Nikolai’s face didn’t reach his eyes that it didn’t quite land. 

They stepped through the doors together, finding the main room where the rehearsal dinner was being held. The decorations were frilly and ostentatious, covering the ceiling and walls. If this was the rehearsal dinner, Zoya wondered what the ceremony would look like. Most of the guests had arrived already, pleasantly mingling with one another in conversation. Zoya followed Nikolai, weaving around the tables to his family’s table at the front of the room. The table seated eight, six seats already filled by Nikolai’s parents, Vasily, Anastasia’s parents, and Anastasia. They’d only caught the tail end of the dinner, busy with their respective coursework and such. Zoya was thankful to minimize time spent among this crowd. 

“Mother, Father, Mr. and Mrs. Kirigin, good to see you all! Again, I’m so sorry we’re late,” Nikolai said, pulling out a chair for Zoya. “We both had late classes today, but I’m glad we could make it.” He gestured to Zoya. “This is my girlfriend, Zoya Nazyalensky,” 

“I’m Anastasia,” said the red-haired girl sitting across from her. “My parents, Katia and Peter Kirigin,” she said, gesturing to the lavishly dressed couple next to her. 

“Pleasure to meet you,” said, the attractive older woman with faded red hair. 

“These are my parents, Alexander and Tatiana,” he said. Nikolai’s resemblance to his parents was striking. He looked more like his mother than his father, she noticed. “And you’ve met Vasily,” he added somewhat bitterly.

“I’m glad to finally meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Lantsov,” she said. Nikolai’s mother smiled. 

“Please, call me Tatiana,” she insisted. 

“It’s very nice to meet you all,” Zoya said, plastering a smile on her face. “Congratulations Anastasia and Vasily!” Anastasia smiled, twirling a strand of red hair around her fingers. Anastasia Kirigin. Kirigin. The name felt so familiar, yet Zoya couldn’t place it. 

“Always good to see you, Zoya,” said Vasily, and she fought the urge to gag. “Though I wasn’t aware you and my brother were involved,” 

“Well it’s lovely to finally meet you,” said Tatiana. “He always goes on and on about how he’s too focused on his studies for us to set him up. But it was all because he’s already in a relationship!” Zoya shrugged. 

“It’s the truth,” she said. “We’re both pretty busy at school. I probably wouldn’t have had time to date him if our circle of friends hadn’t overlapped.” 

“To think, we probably would’ve been each other's library crushes if we were strangers!” Nikolai said. Everyone but Vasily seemed to think they were being cute. Zoya counted it as a win. 

“Well I see why you’re together,” said Alexander. “I just wish Nikolai could’ve introduced you sooner.” he shook his head, smiling. “Sometimes we just don’t know what goes on in his life.” 

“Enough about us,” Zoya said. “Anastasia and Vasily, this night is about you two,” Vasily threw her a skeptical look which she ignored. “How did you two meet? I have so much to catch up on.”

Thankfully, they took the bait. Anastasia started to regale some fancy event that the Lantsovs and Kirigins were both attending. Vasily cut in with how beautiful she looked the first time he saw her. Zoya nodded and smiled, though she didn’t appreciate the way Vasily had cut his fiancee off. When beautiful women were speaking, it was best not to interrupt them. The look on Anastasia’s face agreed. It made Zoya wonder how much of their engagement was real and how much their parents were setting things up for a sound business transaction. Vasily continued telling the story until it somehow ended up with Nikolai and Vasily politely arguing over who introduced whom. 

“Mother told me to pull her aside and introduce you two, don’t you remember?” Nikolai said, turning to Tatiana. 

“Anya, dear, I walked up to you myself, remember?” Vasily insisted. 

“Not that it matters, but I think Nikolai is right,” she said. “I spent half the night trying to stop my brother from making a fool of himself when Nikolai walked up to me.” She turned to Zoya. “Boys,” she said rolling her eyes. “Sorry my brother couldn’t be here, he had some project due for one of his classes. He’s about your and Nikolai’s age. I’m not sure you would like him but he and Nikolai get along well enough at the parties.” 

Zoya’s stomach dropped. She suddenly realized why the name Kirigin was so familiar. About a month ago she’d gone on a date with a particularly cheerful redhead named Emil. Emil Kirigin, brother of the bride-to-be. The date had been… forgettable to say the least. He’d shown up fifteen minutes late, then after their dinner, he’d insisted on taking her dancing. Something about wanting to ‘melt her icy exterior and find her heart of gold.’ But Zoya had ended it there, refusing to go anywhere else with him. He seemed convinced she was hiding some softer, nicer side, unappreciative of her biting remarks throughout the date. 

Of course, something like this would happen. Fake dating Nikolai Lantsov would never be an easy task. Zoya’s mind raced with possibilities. They needed to be prepared for seeing Kirigin at the wedding while still convincing everyone they were a couple. Would she pretend she never met him? She couldn’t get away with that, Emil was much too chatty and would likely approach her first. Then everyone would ask how they knew each other and Nikolai’s cover would be blown. That was the heart of the issue, she determined. Maybe Emil wouldn’t remember her? But the date wasn’t that long ago. Just because Zoya almost forgot didn’t mean he had. What if they came clean to Emil so he would keep their secret? If he and Nikolai got on well, maybe he’d be willing to play along with their scheme. That seemed like a viable option. 

Zoya zoned out for the rest of the dinner, absentmindedly stealing some of Nikolai’s dessert (creme brulee) and answering semi-awkward questions about her past. At first, it seemed Nikolai’s family was under the impression that her family was like theirs; wealthy, notable, and refined. But the more questions she answered, the less frequent they became as if there was something about her that wasn’t worth asking over. It stung a bit, but she didn’t mind. She had bigger problems than Nikolai’s family not knowing where Novokribirsk was or who her parents were (they were no one and that seemed to be the problem). 

Before she knew it, the dinner was over, speeches and all. They were all the typical sappy wedding crap, nothing remarkable. She was surprised that Nikolai hadn’t made a speech, especially because he was the groom’s brother. 

“Vasily begged our parents not to let me do a speech,” he said, in the car as they headed to the hotel. “Something about me ‘upstaging’ him or something. Can you believe that?” Nikolai shook his head. “I know we have our issues, but I can’t believe he’d think I’d do something like that at his wedding.” 

“Your brother is an asshole, that’s why,” she said. Zoya got the sense that it bothered him more than he let on. 

“I know but… he’s my brother,” he said quietly. His words hung uncomfortably between them. Zoya knew Nikolai was not Vasily’s biggest fan. He tended to avoid his brother as much as possible and always took the opportunity to make jokes at his expense. She wanted to ask– it made her unbelievably mad that Vasily had such little regard for Nikolai’s feelings– but she hesitated. She’d never had a sibling and Nikolai’s relationship with his was clearly more complicated than she could imagine. It seemed like a sore subject and the last thing she wanted to do was prod Nikolai’s wounds. 

They stayed in silence for the rest of the car ride. Thankfully, the beach resort wasn’t too far from the restaurant. The Little Palace Beach Resort shone in the dark, like, well, a palace. But in Zoya’s opinion “little” wasn’t the right word for it. The place was certainly fit for a king with its sweeping arches, careful decor, and pavillions scattered across the land. As they entered the hotel, one of the staff welcomed them with champagne flutes. 

“Have you been here before?” Zoya asked, trying not to gape. 

“My family vacations here sometimes,” he said, already making himself at home in the lobby. 

“I should’ve started dating you sooner,” she said, taking his arm and pulling him to the check-in desk. They’d have time to relax once they got to the room. 

“Mr. Lantsov, your parents have assigned you and Ms. Nazyalensky to the Andromeda Suite.” said the receptionist with a smile. “Enjoy your stay!” she dropped the key card into Nikolai’s hand. The Andromeda Suite. Zoya’s face warmed. She knew they would be staying in the same room but suddenly it all felt more real. The night she stayed over at Nikolai’s room flashed in her mind. She wondered if they would share the bed again.

“Thank you,” he said. They walked to the elevator, something like tension settling between them. “We’ve got a good room,” he said to Zoya but not meeting her eye. “Ocean view,” He was chewing his lip and she tried not to look. The last thing she needed was to be caught staring at Nikolai’s lips in an enclosed space. But the way his teeth caught on his mouth was certainly a distracting image. “Lots of space,” he added when she didn’t say anything. Was he nervous? It seemed like he realized the same thing she had.

They exited on their floor and walked down the hall to their room. 

“I can take the couch,” Zoya said, as Nikolai opened the door. The suite was spacious, with a living area, a small kitchen, and large glass doors that gave way to the balcony. The bedroom area was separated from the living room by a sliding door. 

“Please, you’re my guest! What kind of friend would I be if I let you stay on the couch of somewhere my family goes all the time?” he said, striding into the room. Nikolai dropped his bag next to the couch. It looked comfortable enough. 

Friend. They were friends. The word seared into her mind. 

Zoya peered into the bedroom. As she expected, the bed was more than big enough for the both of them. But that was leaning into some dangerous territory. The past few months were blissfully normal and this had the potential to ruin it. They both knew it was better not to complicate things. 

Friends can share beds, she reasoned with herself. Not when one friend is desperately in love with the other. The thought flashed through her once before she banished it. She supposed it was a good time to bring up the Kirigin situation before they went to sleep. 

“Nikolai, we have a problem,” she said. 

“It’s always something, isn’t it,” he sighed. He gestured for her to continue, sprawling himself on the couch. Even for someone as energetic as Nikolai, the dinner was as tiring for him as it was for her, it seemed. 

“I went on a date with Kirigin last month, “ she said. Nikolai’s eyebrows shot up. 

“Homewrecker! I knew I sensed some vibes between you and Anya,” he grinned. With his head propped up on his hand, lounging back, he was startlingly handsome. Zoya ignored him in favor of focusing on their very serious problem. 

“Nikolai! You know I’m not talking about that Kirigin. Emil,” she said. “The brother.”

“I know, I know,” he looked at her skeptically. “He just doesn’t seem like your type, that’s all.” 

“Like you know what my type even is,” she said, rolling her eyes. Hopefully, he wouldn’t see that he was her type. 

“So he’s your type?” 

“No.” 

“Wait. You went on a date with him last month and he’s the brother of the bride,” Nikolai said, finally realizing. “If he sees you tomorrow, everyone is going to know we haven’t been dating for a year!” 

“I’m glad you caught up. You’re smarter than you look,” she said. 

“Actually, I’m as good-looking as I am smart,” he said. “Like you. See? Compliments for both of us.”

“Focus. What are we going to do?” she asked. “I was thinking we could let him in on our secret and get him to corroborate the story.” 

“That could work,” Nikolai said. “Emil is nice. The problem is that–”

“He likes to talk,” Zoya finished. “Loves the sound of his own voice.” Nikolai nodded with a grimace. 

“And he likes to gossip,” he added. “Otherwise it’s a good plan.” He flung himself back on the couch dramatically, which caused his shirt to ride up a little. Zoya caught a glimpse of smooth, tanned muscle underneath and averted her eyes. “Ughhhh,” he groaned. “I’d never hear the end of it if my family found out. They’d be soooo embarrassed. But they’re the ones that started it, trying to set me up with quite literally anyone they knew!” 

“They won’t find out,” she said, trying to reassure him. “Text Emil and let him know the plan. If he doesn’t stick to it, he’ll have me to deal with.” 

Nikolai smiled at her and Zoya knew she’d do anything to keep it on his face. 

“How do you always know what to do?” he asked. Not always. She opted for a smile. 

“To tell the truth, I was thinking about it the whole dinner once I realized who Anya’s brother was.” 

“This is why you’re General Nazyalensky. You’re such a strategist,” he said, and Zoya allowed herself the delusion of hearing admiration in his voice. “Thanks again for helping me with this,” he said softly. 

She realized with a jolt that sometime during the conversation she’d joined him on the couch. His body was angled toward hers and she was practically leaning over him. When had that happened? She didn’t know. All she knew was that his eyes had some magnetic hold over her and she found herself leaning in. Bright hazel eyes fluttered in front of her, brown and gold with the barest hint of green. Nikolai exhaled, parting his lips. Was he anticipating something? Whatever it was, she couldn’t give it to him. 

Zoya stiffened and pulled away. “Any time, Nikolai,” she said, forcing a smile. She hoped the expression on her face didn’t look as pained as she felt. She stood and bid him good night, hurrying to the bedroom. 

She clutched her chest as soon as she closed the doors, alarmed at the way her heart pounded against her ribs. Denial and repression were always the best medicine for her feelings for Nikolai but for this trip, it wasn’t enough. She was defenseless against the way she held onto his every word. There was no denying the blossoming, flowery sensation in her chest when his gaze lingered on her. 

She hated it. The way her longing for him seeped into her skin, always threatening to spill over the surface. The fear that he could see through her words, her jokes, her ruthlessness, and he didn’t want what he saw. How utterly weak she felt around him. 

Love was a curse, a torment. She laughed to herself in the dark. It was a bitter thought to have at a wedding. 

She needed this to go smoothly. For her sake and Nikolai’s. He was counting on her and she could not let him down. 

Nikolai begrudgingly left the suite before Zoya did. He jokingly proposed to skip the wedding party photos before Zoya shoved him out the door. Somehow, the night had gone by without a problem, at least until the Kirigin situation. Nikolai quashed down the ugly burst of jealousy that bubbled in his chest when he thought of them together. Zoya hadn’t given much detail but he assumed it hadn’t gone well if they’d only gone on one date over a month ago. Nikolai huffed in frustration. Even worse than jealousy was unfounded jealousy. Zoya didn’t like Emil. There was nothing to worry about. Still, he couldn’t completely soothe the feeling into nothingness. 

He thought back to the way she leaned over him on the couch. And the way she left so abruptly. He could’ve sworn if she hadn’t left she would’ve leaned closer. Nikolai mourned the fact that he wasn’t in the alternate universe where she stayed. Tilting more and more toward each other until there was only a little space left between them. Then he’d smile before slanting his lips against hers. And she’d kiss him back. 

Nikolai’s pulse soared and he ran a hand through his hair. There was no use indulging in such fantasies, especially because they couldn’t afford any distractions. He’d texted Emil the plan and thankfully agreed to confirm their story. But he’d also asked over Zoya and why she ghosted him. Kirigin had some deluded idea that this was the universe trying to bring him and Zoya together. Nikolai, like the good friend he was, advised him against saying things like that around her. Emil was a good friend too but was sometimes a bit of a loose cannon. Nikolai had to keep an eye on him for the duration of the wedding. 

Nikolai arrived at the lobby where the receptionist directed him outside where the wedding party pictures were. He let out a low whistle. The landscape had been transformed into the perfect outdoor wedding venue. Purple, pink, and white wisteria were draped carefully from different columns and surfaces. Enormous bouquets lined a walkway that faced the ocean. Crisp white chairs and tables were already set up to perfection. The wedding party was gathered at the bottom of the stairs from the hotel on the grass. Emil waved him over, red hair stark among the other groomsmen. 

“Nikolai! It’s good to see you,” Emil said. “I suppose we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other now that our siblings are getting married.” 

“Nice to see you too, Emil,” Nikolai said, fidgeting with the cuff of his suit. “Wish you were at the rehearsal dinner.” 

“Sorry dude,” he shrugged. “I had a project. And I didn’t feel like going. Anya said I would just embarrass her anyways.” Nikolai nodded. He knew how that felt. He wondered if Emil was more bothered by it than he seemed. Emil’s whole thing was staying unbothered. 

“Can everyone gather around please?” the photographer shouted over the chatter. “Let’s do the groom’s family first.” Nikolai joined his family, posing next to his brother. 

“How was last night’s dinner, by the way?” Emil asked from the side. 

“It was good,” Vasily said in between shots. “Nikolai brought his secret girlfriend.” Emil pulled an overexaggerated look of surprise. 

“You have a girlfriend?” Kirigin said, clearly trying to look shocked. Nikolai wanted to shake him violently. “I had no idea!” This was hopeless. 

“Neither did we,” Tatiana said. “Zoya is lovely, though.” 

“I am a bit concerned about her background,” Alexander added. Nikolai’s jaw dropped. “But it’s not like you’re going to marry the girl,” 

“Dad!” he exclaimed. “There is nothing wrong with ‘her background’. And you don’t know if I’m going to marry her or not.” 

“I’m just concerned, that’s all,” his father said, throwing his arms up in defense. 

“Just because her parents aren’t, I don’t know, old money oil tycoon business robber barron monopoly fortune five hundred business people–”

“You said business twice–” 

“Shut up, Vasily. Just because her name doesn’t come with a price tag attached to it doesn’t make her unsuitable.” Nikolai said coldly. He hadn’t even been there ten minutes and he was already fighting. 

“That’s no way to talk to your brother, either of you,” Tatiana scolded. “As I said, Zoya is lovely. Your father just wants the best for you that’s all. We all do.” She turned to his father. “And no one said anything about marriage, Alexander. They’re so young!” 

“Smile,” the photographer said meekly. The Lantsovs quickly resumed their positions, smiling and pretending to laugh together. Vasily threw his arm around Nikolai. What a facade it all was. 

Nikolai watched the Kirigins take their pictures, sour mood refusing to dissipate. Why was his family so frustrating to be around? The Kirigins seemed to get along just fine. They listened to the photographer, smiling and posing obediently. Whatever issues Emil had with his sister didn’t show in his interactions with her. 

It was different with his family. He knew his parents cared in their own hurtful way. Most times he was willing to ignore whatever criticism they had of him. They said it to be helpful, not realizing how their comments built up over time. It only made him want to work to prove them wrong. Vasily was a whole other problem. It was like he said things just to provoke him. And it was hard for Nikolai not to fall for the bait. 

When he was younger, he’d looked up to Vasily. But for as long as he could remember, Vasily wanted nothing to do with him and he never really understood why until he was older. After a particularly bad fight, he realized that Vasily saw him more as a rival than a brother and there was nothing Nikolai could do to fix it. 

They continued with the pictures in relative peace. The groomsmen and bridesmaids all mingled with one another pleasantly. Nikolai ended up speaking to Ehri Kir-Taban of all people. She looked quite pretty in her flowing pink bridesmaid dress. 

“Did you know my parents tried to set me up on a date with you?” she asked him. Nikolai laughed in response. 

“Yes, because my parents tried to do the same,” he said. She shook her head. 

“It’s even funnier because I’m literally a lesbian,” she said drily. “Which they know but I guess they’re still in denial.” 

“I’m sorry about that,” Nikolai said. “My parents took a while to understand that I’m bisexual, not flipping between gay and straight every couple months.’” 

“They’re learning, though,” she said. “It’s nice to finally have a face to a name.” He saw Ehri wave to another bridesmaid who turned beet red before waving back. She left him to talk to the bridesmaid in question. Her presence was replaced by Emil’s who was finally done with all of his pictures. 

“Nikolai, when is your ‘girlfriend’ getting here?” he asked, throwing a wink. 

“Emil, has anyone told you you’re a horrible actor?” he said, hoping no one was listening to them. “And she’ll be here soon,” 

“Great! I have a second chance!” he said cheerily. Nikolai frowned at his friend. He wasn’t about to explain to Kirigin his long and recently complicated history with Zoya. 

“Are you telling me you intend to steal my girlfriend?” he asked. 

“Of course not! I’m stealing your fake girlfriend.” Emil said. Nikolai glanced around to see if anyone was paying attention. Anya and Vasily were within earshot but seemed too preoccupied with each other to notice anything else. 

“Could you please take this more seriously?” Nikolai said. “You should be more careful. Plus,” he said, leaning in. “I thought the date with Zoya went badly,” At least Emil had enough shame to grimace. 

“I admit it could’ve gone better. But this is my chance to prove myself to her!” his smile dimmed. “Wait, you don’t like her, do you? Because if you do, I’ll back off.” 

Nikolai stared at his friend. Did he like her? Of course he liked her. To put it simply, he was hopelessly and deeply in love with her despite establishing that they were both better off as friends. A horrible situation to be in really, but there was nothing he could do about it. 

“She’s my friend,” he replied before he could say something else. It wasn’t a lie but it wasn’t exactly the truth either. 

“If you say so,” Kirigin shrugged. His eyes lit up and he pointed to the stairs. “Look, there she is!” 

Nikolai felt the air leave his lungs without his permission. Zoya was always beautiful with her long limbs and her wild black hair. But today she looked like royalty. She donned a long sky-blue dress rather than her signature deep blue. His eyes trailed along the slit of her dress that ended mid-thigh, drawing attention to her smooth brown skin and well-formed legs. 

She gave a confused wave to Kirigin before she descended down the stairs to join them. 

“How lovely to see you, Zoya,” Emil said, beaming. 

“Emil, thanks for agreeing to help,” she said, taking Nikolai’s arm. Clearly, she wanted nothing more to do with the man but Emil’s determination was unwavering. 

“Anything for you,” he said, winking. Although Nikolai knew it was nothing to be jealous over for a number of reasons, it still did nothing to stop the clench in his chest. He prided himself in being a logical person but when it came to Zoya, his heart was always faster than his head. 

“Kirigin,” Zoya said, annoyance seeping into her voice. She dragged both Nikolai and Emil further from the crowd. “I’m not sure you’re understanding your agreement correctly. You’re supposed to help me and Nikolai be a couple, not shamelessly hit on me.” 

Truly, Nikolai had never wanted to kiss her more. 

“Don’t worry guys, I’m a great actor!” he said, flinging his arms around both of them. Unfortunately, he’d said it loud enough for a few heads to turn their way. 

“Shhhh!” Nikolai and Zoya exclaimed simultaneously. Nikolai’s stomach turned. There was no way they would be able to keep this up if Kirigin kept drawing attention. Really, all he needed to do was act as if he’d never met Zoya before and move on. But as much as Kirigin insisted that everything was fine, Nikolai saw right through him. Kirigin wanted his second date and would stop at nothing to get it.

Nikolai never thought he’d have to compete against anyone for his FAKE (did he mention fake) girlfriend, but apparently that day had arrived. 

“Just, act natural, please?” Zoya said stiffly. She turned away from them as quickly as she had arrived, gliding off to a refreshments table or a waiter. 

“Do you think you could be my wingman?” Emil asked excitedly. Nikolai did his best impression of Zoya and shot him a withering look. “I’ll take that as a no,” Emil said dejectedly. 

For once, Zoya had nothing to complain about. After the initial run-in with Kirigin, things smoothed out quite nicely. He and Nikolai were much too busy with their wedding duties to pay much attention to her. Zoya flitted around, socializing with the bridesmaids, some of the groomsmen, and the other guests. For a moment, she thought she spotted Aleksander, Alina’s old ex, with a girl hanging off his arm. Zoya shuddered at the thought of running into him. What a creep. But she blinked and he was lost to the crowd. 

The more she talked to people, the more she understood why Nikolai dreaded the parties his parents dragged him to. Not everyone made for an unpleasant conversation; it was mostly the old men who stared, eyes hungry. Some of the women stared too, as if haughtiness and condescension were as much accessories as a necklace or pair of earrings. 

But as long as she avoided them, it wasn’t too bad. She wandered around for a while with one of the bridesmaids, Ehri. They’d walked around the gardens, talking nonsense before Ehri was called for the ceremony. There’d been something kind about her that made Zoya want to spill all her secrets. 

The ceremony itself had been beautiful, perfectly timed against the amber glow of the sun fading into the ocean. Anya looked like a princess in her lacy dress, and even Zoya could admit that Vasily hadn’t looked as greasy as usual. Through the stereotypical talks of love and cheesy, yet surprisingly heartfelt vows, Zoya’s gaze settled on Nikolai. He was placed at the end of the line on the groom’s side, smiling at his brother as Vasily read his vows. Nikolai traded smiles as much as he breathed and yet she never got tired of it. It felt good to watch him freely. Everyone else was staring at the bride and groom but all she wanted to do was look at him. She liked the way his hair framed his face, tousled lightly from the evening breeze. The sun glinted behind him in the distance, showering him in warm rays of gold. He had an easy smile on his face, hazel eyes facing the newlyweds. Her eyes drifted from his sharp jaw to the column of his neck, catching on his collarbone. He’d left the top two buttons of his shirt maddeningly undone and Zoya wanted nothing more than to run her fingers under the fabric.

The sound of cheering jolted her to reality, and before she knew it, the reception had started, speeches made and cake served. 

Zoya surveyed the dancefloor from her seat, forking the last bits of her strawberry champagne cake into her mouth. Once she realized her cake was done, she stole a bite of Nikolai’s chocolate raspberry cake off of his plate, not taking her eyes off the dancefloor. She watched couples twirl about, Anya and Vasily holding each other in the center. 

“Sure, eat my cake. Do you want to dance, Zoya?” Nikolai asked. 

“Maybe later,” she said, standing. Air. She needed air. “I’m going for more cake,” Nikolai’s looked confused for a split second. 

“I was only kidding. You can have mine,” he said pushing his plate toward her. “I can even feed it to you if you want,” he winked. 

“It’s alright, I’ll be back in a second.” Zoya meandered through the crowd, toward the back of the ballroom where the tall French doors gave way to a balcony. She pushed the doors open and slipped outside, relishing the feel of the warm air on her skin. Leaning against the marble railing, she fished her phone out of her pocket and scrolled through her contacts. 

“Zoya! How’s your wedding date going? Super jealous by the way,” Genya chirped. 

“Genya,” she said, voice shaking. “I– I think I’m in love,” With Nikolai. The words were unsaid but thankfully Genya knew what she was talking about. 

“It’s not going to kill you, Zoya,” her friend said. 

“Then why does it feel like it will? What do I do?” she asked. The pounding of her heart was unbearable. She hated weddings. Why would anyone want to be in love when it felt like this? 

“You have to tell him how you feel! And I’m a million percent sure he feels the same way. I mean, we all see how he looks at you,” Genya said. Zoya shook her head frantically even though Genya couldn’t see her. 

“No, I can’t tell him!” 

“Maybe you won’t have to. Honestly, if he doesn’t know how you feel by now, then he’s an idiot.” 

“Genya, he doesn’t know,” she said.

“What are you so afraid of?” Genya asked. It was a question she asked herself often when it came to Nikolai. The answer spiraled in a hundred different directions. We’re just friends. I can’t lose him. He doesn’t love me back. I am unloveable. 

“Sorry, I have to go. He’s probably wondering what’s taking so long.” 

“No! This conversation isn’t ov–”

Zoya hung up the phone just in time to hear the door to the balcony open. She whipped around, expecting to see Nikolai. It was Emil, smiling as always. He joined her at the balcony’s edge, leaning on the railing. 

“I was just leaving,” she said, turning to head back to the ballroom but Emil grabbed her arm. She wrenched her wrist out of his grip and narrowed her eyes. At least he had the sense to look scared. 

“I’m sorry! I just… wanted to apologize for the date,” he said. “I was too pushy, and I’m sorry.” He turned away to face the ocean, probably to hide his blush, though it was exposed in the moonlight. Zoya’s eyes widened. That was unexpected. She thought back to their date. Disastrous as it had been, she never got the sense that Kirigin was bad. He was even funny at times. “I’m a bit intimidated by you, to be honest. I just really wanted you to like me, I guess,” he said. 

“You’re not a bad guy, Kirigin,” she sighed. “You just need to know when to take the hint,” she said. Emil only nodded, facing her again. 

“Here, you’ve got some frosting on your…” he trailed off, handing her a handkerchief miraculously procured out of thin air. She accepted it, dabbing at her face. They held each other's gaze for a moment, understanding passing between them. She wondered what he saw in her. 

“Thanks,” she said. “For that and your apology. I should go find Nikolai.” She left him standing on the balcony, making her way back through the crowd. 

Anya and Vasily were sitting in their seats when she passed by. 

“Zoya,” Vasily called. “Are you enjoying the party?” Zoya stopped, facing them. 

“It’s really lovely,” she said in as pleasant a voice as she could manage. “Congratulations again!” Anya gave her a reassuring smile but Vasily narrowed his eyes. 

“If you’ll excuse me, darling, I’d like to ask Zoya for some help concerning Nikolai,” Vasily said. To her surprise, Vasily stood and motioned for her to follow. Typically, Zoya would never listen to what Vasily had to say but if it was about Nikolai… perhaps he felt bad about not letting him speak at the rehearsal dinner? Zoya followed him to the edge of the crowd. 

“I don’t take you for an idiot, Zoya. What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he hissed, for no one to hear but themselves. She took a step back from him. Zoya refused to be disrespected by Vasily Lantsov of all people. 

“Pardon me, but what the fuck are you talking about?” she said, venomous tone matching his. Vasily rolled his eyes. 

“I heard your little phone call on the balcony. ‘ I’m in love. I can’t tell him. He doesn’t know ?’ Sound familiar?” Searing rage flared inside her. 

“I don’t–” 

“And then I saw you and Kirigin and it all made sense,” he spat. “Nikolai may be an attention whore but at least he’s not an actual one.” 

“Vasily, whatever you saw, it’s not what you think. I would never do that to anyone, especially Nikolai,” she said, keeping her voice even. “I…I love him.”  Zoya’s fists clenched, nails digging into her palms. It took everything in her not to punch him across his stupid face. Nosy bastard. 

“Of course you love him. You just love someone else more. But he deserves better, don’t you agree? If you really cared about him, you would spare him the pain,” Vasily took her infuriated silence as a sign to continue. “So if you don’t tell him about your fling with Kirigin, I will.” He turned and went back to his wife, leaving Zoya to process in the corner. 

This was bad. Really bad, like worst-case scenario bad. She wanted to scream. Zoya hurried back to her table where Nikolai was waiting for her, chatting with some of the other guests. He gave a smile when she returned. 

“There you are!” he said, handing her a plate of cake. His face dropped when he saw her frown. “Zoya, what happened,” he said, seriously.

“We have a problem,” she said, shoving her anger down. “Vasily thinks I’m cheating on you with Kirigin.” Nikolai’s jaw dropped. 

“Oh shit. Oh my god. Did Kirigin blow our cover?” he asked. 

“Not really. I was on the phone outside and he actually came to apologize for being so… let’s say forward. Anyways, Vasily saw and made some assumptions.” 

“Don’t worry,” he said. “We can still save this. We just have to work extra hard to prove we’re in love! Come on, let’s go dance.” He grabbed her hand and led her to the dancefloor where another slow dance song had come on. 

Zoya placed her free hand at the back of his neck, fingers carding through the end of his hair. Nikolai’s hand traveled down the back of her dress, fingers tracing a line down her spine and she suppressed a shiver. His hand stopped at the small of her back and he applied the slightest amount of pressure, pressing their hips together. She relished the contact and her skin responded to his light touch, warm and electric. 

His eyes were unreadable as he led them around the dancefloor. He was a good dancer, leading with precision and adjusting to the rhythm. Her eyes snagged on his collarbone again and she smiled to herself before she moved her hand to his chest. Her thumb caressed his skin lightly, finally giving in to what she wanted to do the whole ceremony. Nikolai’s throat bobbed, and she looked at the color slowly rushing to his cheeks. 

“Either you don’t know how to button your shirts or you do it on purpose,” she said. “Please tell me you do it on purpose.” 

“It’s more comfortable,” he said. “Can’t breathe when they’re all done.” Zoya ran a finger over his pulse. “I guess it doesn’t matter though, since you’re going to give me a heart attack if you keep doing that.” His voice was low, thick with something she couldn’t quite place. 

The song seemed to go on for an eternity and Zoya wondered how long they stayed swaying in each other's arms. They were one of the only couples left on the dancefloor, moving in time with the music. She only realized the song was nearing its end once Nikolai leaned to whisper something to her. 

“You ready for the finale,” he said, and she felt his breath brush her skin. She looked up at him and nodded. He held her eyes for a moment, tilting his head closer to hers. Just before her eyes shut, she swore she saw the trace of a smile on his face. She ignored the rapid fluttering of her heart as his mouth finally met hers and it was just as soft as she remembered it all those months ago. 

When Nikolai had rambled about this idea in the first place she should’ve run screaming. It would’ve saved her from allowing those pesky feelings to resurface. But here she was, kissing him once again on the dancefloor of some party. She felt his tongue part her lips, savoring the way he tasted a bit sweet from the cake. Warmth flooded through her chest and she wished that for once she had the courage to be alone with him. He cradled the back of her head, deepening the kiss for a second before pulling away. 

It was over as soon as it started. They were at a wedding reception after all, not at a sweaty college party where anyone could make out on the dancefloor and no one would bat an eye. 

Nikolai’s eyes were wide as he stared at her, a pleasant blush staining his cheeks. It suited him, she admitted. Something about his breathless look of wonder made her smile. Still in his arms, she pressed a kiss to his cheek. It was enough to pull him out of his stupor and his face melted into a smile to match her own. 

Zoya couldn’t shake the feeling of how right it felt to be in his arms, looking at him just because she wanted to. Holding his hand because she liked the warmth of his skin against hers. Gazing at her like she was the only one worth looking at in a room full of important people. 

“You’re being quiet,” she said. “It’s unnerving.” Her voice was softer than she meant it to be.

“You’ve been trying to shut me up for years, and now you want me to talk?” he said with a grin. They resumed dancing to the music, swaying in each other's arms. “For once, I’ve got nothing to say,” he shrugged but the look on his face said otherwise. He was thinking hard about something. 

“You’ve always got something on your mind,” she said. “What is it?” He sighed, lifting a hand to her chin, dragging his thumb across her bottom lip. 

“Only you,” he said, as if it were that simple. The weight of his words was beyond what she could hold. Only you. Only. What did that mean? Did it mean anything at all? She halted the spiral that her mind would follow if she thought too long about it. She scanned the outskirts of the crowd; Vasily was watching them with narrowed eyes. Instead of responding, Zoya pressed the side of her face to Nikolai’s chest. The pulse underneath was steady and warm. She wondered if she would ever have his heart or if this was the closest she could get.

Nikolai wondered if it was possible to ruin everything in just two words. They’d left his mouth before he had the chance to think it through. He’d showed his hand, his heart, bleeding, pounding uselessly for Zoya. 

And she hadn’t noticed. And if she did, she hadn’t said anything. The rest of the reception went by quickly after that. They’d chatted to the other guests, regaling their ‘love story’ and playing the part. But all he could think of was his slip-up. 

He played it off as cooly as ever once they got back to the hotel room. 

“I saw Vasily watching us,” he said. “That’s why I said… what I said.” She nodded, undoing her earrings. 

“I noticed that too,” she said. “But it still seems like he thinks I’m cheating on you,” Zoya shook her head, fists clenched. 

“And after the performance we gave tonight!” Nikolai exclaimed. “We seemed more in love than him and Anya and it's their fucking wedding day,” Zoya snickered at that, much to his satisfaction. 

“We are rather good at pretending, aren't we,” she mused. “Help me with this, will you?” she asked gesturing to the zipper at her back. It was a simple request and yet Nikolai felt as if the air had been knocked out of his lungs. He moved toward her, stepping much closer than he probably needed to, yet he couldn’t find in himself to care. Zoya moved her dark hair out of the way for him to unzip her dress. He tugged gently and the smooth fabric parted to reveal even smoother skin. Nikolai fought the urge to run his hand down her spine again, as he had on the dancefloor. The zipper halted halfway down her back and his knuckles grazed her skin as he struggled with the metal. She flinched at his touch, inhaling sharply. 

“Sorry,” he said, focused on the stubborn zipper. “It’s stuck.” He tried zipping it back up before he brought it back down but it still wouldn’t budge. He stepped impossibly closer, resolving to sink to his knees to get a closer look. He pinched the unzipped part together and gave a hard pull on the zipper which finally yielded. And now he was left with an unobstructed view of Zoya’s bare back. Nikolai swallowed. 

“Got it,” he said, suddenly feeling lightheaded.  

“Thanks,” she said turning back around. To say Nikolai wasn’t prepared for the sight was an understatement. Zoya stared down at him, wild waves spilling freely over her shoulders after being trapped in a fancy updo for most of the night. The sleeves of her dress were already slipping down, no longer held up by the zipper. Any words Nikolai might have said died in his throat as his eyes caught on the sleek line of her throat, trailing to her collarbone and downwards. He couldn’t help but think how good she looked from this angle, like a queen observing her loyal subject. In another life, perhaps she was. 

Nikolai used every ounce of willpower he had to stand up. Any longer on his knees in front of Zoya would have been disastrously embarrassing because of how much he was enjoying it. 

“I should be the one thanking you,” he said, retreating to the couch. “No one else would put up with my batshit family, especially Vasily.” 

“It’s bearable with you,” she said with a shrug. She turned to go to the bedroom but turned back to face him. “I was thinking… there’s really no reason for you to sleep on the couch. I’ve got plenty of room if you’d like to join me.” 

Nikolai’s brain froze. Zoya was offering to share the bed? 

“Sure, that would be nice… Are you sure?”

 She nodded motioning for him to follow. Nikolai trailed after her into the bedroom. 

“I mean, we’ve shared a smaller bed than this before so I figured it should be okay.” she said. 

“Right, of course.” he said. The night haunted him more than he cared to admit. 

They got ready for bed in relative silence, both tired from the events of the day. Still, Nikolai’s mind buzzed with anticipation as he crawled under the covers, his senses enveloped by Zoya’s familiar wildflower scent. Would she draw near? Would they drift toward one another in the middle of the night? Nikolai didn’t know. 

Zoya settled next to him, interrupting his thoughts. He felt the bed shift, and though it was dark, he could make out the her face hovering over his. Before he could register what was happening, she pressed a quick kiss to the side of his cheek. 

“Goodnight, Nikolai,” she said softly. 

“Night, Zoya,” he said, but the feel of her lips on his skin left him wide awake. 

Chapter Text

Zoya knew it had been a bad idea to invite Nikolai to join her in the bed. Although it was true that there was more than enough room for the both of them, she knew exactly how it would end up: her being unable to stay away from him, even in her sleep. She’d known and done it anyway. 

She’d done more than gravitate toward him; Zoya realized she was spooning him. They were a never-ending tangle of limbs. Her face was pressed into the warm crook of his neck, tucked over his shoulder. Her arm was draped lightly around him, curving possessively against Nikolai’s body. One leg was hiked up over his, pressing their hips securely together. The feel of him was intoxicating. Any lingering clouds of sleep evaporated at once. She was awake now, all too aware of the hard muscle and soft skin beneath her. She cursed him for sleeping shirtless. 

Slowly, she made a move to pull away but was stopped by a tug at her wrist that pulled her back over him. Nikolai had taken hold of her arm and cradled it to his chest. Zoya peered at him in disbelief, face burning. He shifted, grabbing at her calf with his other arm, forcing their hips ever closer. In the past, Nikolai liked to brag about his ass and Zoya had always laughed him off. 

She wasn’t laughing now. The man never skipped leg day it seemed. Or ass day, or arm day, or any day, really. 

Zoya stilled for a while until her arm started to cramp. While she liked the contact, it wasn’t necessarily the most comfortable position to be sleeping in (for her at least). Nikolai seemed to be sleeping just fine, despite his previous movement. 

“Nikolai,” she whispered against his neck. 

No answer. 

“Nikolai,” she tried again, shaking her hand that was still clutched in his. 

“Hmmmm…” he said, eyes closed. 

“Nikolai, wake up.” 

“Let’s just stay like this…” he muttered. As much as she wished they could, the night was over. 

“Nikolai, my arm,” she said. 

“Right, sorry,” he said, releasing her from his grip. He turned around to face her and Zoya’s voice caught in her throat. He really was beautiful, all soft golden hair, sharp lines, and the way his eyes lit up first before he was about to smile. He smiled at her then, a tentative hand tracing her leg lightly in a way that made her jolt. How could he touch her so casually like that and expect it to not have an effect on her? 

“We should get going to the brunch,” he said sitting up. Zoya mourned the loss of contact. “We get through that and then we can head back to school.” And then all the pretending was over, for the most part. Pretending to date him, yes. Pretending to not be in love with him… that was infinitely more complicated. 

“Well, it’s one more meal that we don’t have to eat at school so I’ll take it,” she said, swinging her legs off the bed. 

They got dressed in relative silence and Zoya scolded herself for her poor judgement. Although her intentions were simply to provide Nikolai with a better place to sleep, she ended up crossing the line once more. Staying close, lazing about in bed with him meant that she was getting too comfortable playing her role.  She wasn’t quite ready to give him up yet and the weekend was almost over. Soon enough their friendship would return under normal circumstances and she would never be able to touch him like this again. The thought was… disappointing.

“Do you think the Vasily thing will be a problem,” Zoya asked, tugging on her dress. It wasn’t one of her favorites but matched the effortless classy-casual look that the Lantsovs preferred for brunch. 

“Vasily needs to stay out of our business,” Nikolai said with a bit more edge in his voice than usual. “He’s a married man now, there are plenty of other things he needs to worry about. 

“I don’t know, he seemed pretty pissed last night.” Zoya’s lip curled in disgust. “Hopefully he doesn’t try anything today.” 

“And then we’re in the clear!” he exclaimed with a smile. Nikolai didn’t seem to be taking his brother’s threat too seriously. But that was the thing with him, she noticed. He always seemed unbothered, and carefree, when in reality he was stewing over something. It had taken her a long time to tell the difference between his usual cheery self and when it was a mask to cover how he really felt. By now she knew the slightest drop in his voice, the smallest waver of his smile sent alarm bells in her mind. 

“If he’s smart, he’ll keep to himself,” she said, throwing on her coat. It was best not to let on that she was worried. “And so will we. Just to diffuse any possible tension.” Nikolai let out a heavy sigh.

“It sounds so easy when you say it,” he said. “If only Vasily was smart.” 

The brunch place was French, quaint, and rustic, with its wooden tables and garden decor. It was quite understated in decadence compared to the kinds of places the Lantsovs typically dined, but Nikolai was happy it was a more casual affair. His parents and Mr. and Mrs. Kirigin were waiting inside with Emil. Only the newlyweds were missing. 

“Nikolai, darling, have you seen your brother?” his mother asked. 

“Honestly, I thought he was with you guys,” he replied. Tatiana and Katia exchanged a glance with one another. 

“I wonder what’s keeping them,” Tatiana muttered. 

The hostess led them to a private room with a wall of French doors that let the late morning sun stream in. Fake flowers hung from the ceiling and Nikolai suddenly felt like he was in the forest. Perhaps the restaurant wasn’t as understated as he thought. 

“Sorry we’re late,” Vasily said, barging into the room with Anya in tow. “We slept in,” he said. Anya looked like she was about to say something but decided against it. For all of his faults, Vasily wasn’t usually late to things. It struck Nikolai as oddly suspicious, especially because of the rather sour expression on Anya’s face. 

Nikolai shared a glance with Zoya and she offered a small shrug. A silent agreement not to draw too much attention in the conversation. Keeping the focus off themselves should be easy. They ordered their plates, Nikolai’s nerves flaring each time Vasily opened his mouth to speak.

“I’m just glad the wedding went smoothly,” Vasily said. “Anya and I have been stressed for months on end with planning and now we can relax,” 

“Oh no, Vasily, this is just the beginning,” Mrs. Kirigin joked. “Married life takes more work than you’d think,” 

“And just wait until you have children!” Nikolai’s mother chimed. Nikolai shuddered at the thought of mini-Vasilys running around. It was up to Anya to be a good influence. 

“But really,” Kirigin said. “It was a great wedding! Honestly, it made me forget why we don’t just live on the coast year-round. You have booze, a breeze, and music. What more could you need?” 

Nikolai nodded in agreement. He probably would’ve enjoyed himself more if he wasn’t worried about his and Zoya’s performance. He wondered what it would have been like just with her. 

“Darling, you go to school in Malibu.” Mrs. Kirigin said. “You have that every day.” Kirigin sighed dramatically.

“But school is only eight months of the year and you hardly get to relax,” he protested. 

“That’s why you have a vacation,” Anya said. “But I’m glad you had a good time.” 

“Oh he had a good time alright,” Vasily said in the sleaziest voice Nikolai had ever heard him use. 

“Oh?” Said all the parents in unison. Anya’s eye twitched. 

“Did one of the bridesmaids catch your eye, Emil?” Mr. Kirigin asked as he nudged his son. 

“Soon enough we’ll be planning your wedding next!” Mrs. Kirigin wiped a fake tear from her eye. 

“Huh. I didn’t think anyone noticed,” Emil beamed. 

“I saw,” said Vasily. “She seems interesting,” 

Nikolai nervously forked a piece of his croque monsieur into his mouth. He hoped Vasily had more sense than to start insinuating things in front of the whole family. 

“Well, who is this mystery woman?” Mrs. Lantsov asked. 

“I believe Zoya knows her,” Vasily said with a smirk, and Nikolai’s stomach dropped. He felt Zoya freeze beside him. 

“Vasily,” Anya hissed. 

“What is it dear?” Mrs. Kirigin asked. 

“Well, Zoya, who was it?” Mrs. Lantsov asked. 

“Why doesn’t anyone ask me?” Kirigin said. Zoya narrowed her eyes imperceptibly at Vasily. 

“I’m not sure who you’re referring to, Vasily,” she said stiffly. Nikolai nearly choked on his next bite. The tension was rising fast. He grabbed Zoya’s hand under the table. 

“Why don’t we ask Emil?” Nikolai suggested but it went unheard. 

“Don’t be coy, we’ll find out soon enough,” Vasily said lazily. 

Zoya simply shrugged. “Was it the one that caught the bouquet?” She continued eating her strawberry crepes, unbothered as ever. But Nikolai could tell her patience was wearing thin.

“I really think you should tell them, Zoya,” Vasily said. 

“That’s enough, Vasily, cut it out,” Anya said. The parents exchanged worried glances with one another. Kirigin just looked confused. 

“I’m sorry, what’s going on here?” Mrs. Kirigin asked. Vasily gestured to Zoya with a hand. 

“Well?” he said expectantly. 

“You’re making a mistake,” said Zoya. 

“Vasily, stop already! Just listen to her,” Anya said. It seemed like this was something they’d fought about before if Anya’s panicked tone was any indication. She knew about Vasily’s intent to expose Zoya. 

Nikolai shook his head frantically at his brother. Don’t do anything stupid for once, please. Vasily, as always, ignored him.

“Last chance, Zoya. Tell them now.” 

“There’s nothing to tell,” she said icily. 

“That’s it!” Vasily exclaimed. “Nikolai, this is for your own good. Zoya is cheating on you with Kirigin and I think you should save yourself the embarrassment and end it now.” Nikolai cringed into his hand. 

The table was completely silent. 

“You are an absolute idiot, ” Nikolai grumbled. 

“It’s true! I saw them together on the balcony, they’re in love, I heard her say it! They were dating before this, I heard the whole thing.” 

“You didn’t hear anything!” Zoya said. “It's a complete misunderstanding because you were eavesdropping on a conversation that was really none of your business.” 

“Oh no,” Kirigin muttered. 

“Lies! She’s lying to your face! Nikolai, how can you stand to be treated like this? It’s unbecoming, really.” Nikolai prided himself on having a plan for every situation; a perfect response, a well-timed reaction. But there was no good way to make it out of this. 

“I’m not lying!” she exclaimed. 

“I heard you! I saw you! You were talking about a date! Do you deny it?” he said, emphasizing ‘date’ in air quotes. The two sets of parents were staring at Zoya expectantly. Nikolai was frozen in horror. “All right under Nikolai’s nose!” Vasily added unhelpfully. 

“This is getting ridiculous. We did go on a date a few months ago but–” Zoya started. She was coming clean, he realized. The two sets of parents gasped. Nikolai had never seen his mother so scandalized. 

“AHA! The story isn’t adding up Zoya. You knew Kirigin but you were dating Nikolai?” Vasily continued with a crazed look in his eye. 

“Oh dear,” Kirigin cringed. 

“What?” asked Mrs. Lantsov, exchanging a glance with her husband. “That can’t be right. Nikolai said he’s been dating for a year!”

“This is outrageous, Nikolai did you know about this?” His father asked. 

“Emil, how could you!” the Kirigins cried, both launching into a tirade about how disappointed they were. 

“Zoya, is this true?” 

“What were you doing on the balcony?” 

“Nikolai is your friend, Emil!” 

“How dare you do that to my son!” 

“Please, listen,” Zoya said, but it was no use. 

The room was in chaos, with the Lantsovs and Kirigins bombarding questions aimed at both Zoya and Emil, but mostly Zoya. Vasily looked all too smug as Nikolai fought to stop his parents from tearing Zoya apart with their ceaseless questions.

“Everyone stop!” Nikolai shouted. The four parents turned to him. 

“I didn’t cheat on Nikolai,” Zoya said. “Because we were never dating.”

Nikolai never knew how quiet a room with his family could be until that moment. 

“Pardon me?” Vasily said, his voice a deathly whisper. 

“If any of you would have listened, we would have explained that we aren’t dating and we never were,” Nikolai said sternly. 

“Oh Nikolai, why the charade?” his mother said softly. Was she really asking? Did any of them truly not understand? 

“Everything is just some connection to you!” he said shooting to his feet. His family cringed at the scrape of his chair on the floor as he stood. “This person’s daughter or that person’s son would be perfect for me! Their parents are great! Their money is great!” He went on, talking to himself. “He’s an advantage, she’s a detriment. Profit. Loss. Whatever. I’m sure whoever you guys recommend is fine but it always seems like you’re more interested in their compatibility with your interests than their compatibility with me! That’s the opposite of what you do when you’re matchmaking for someone! If you’re going to do it at all, at least do it right. I mean, it is a well-known fact that Ehri Kir-Taban does not like men! And you still tried to set me up with her?” He was rambling at this point but Nikolai couldn’t find it in himself to care. “But that’s not the point. The point is that I don’t need my family matchmaking for me, especially not when I’m already in love with Z–” Nikolai slapped his hand over his mouth. “It doesn’t matter. That’s not the point.” Nikolai refused to meet Zoya’s eyes, though he could feel them burning into him. 

No one said anything. He Nikolai prayed that Zoya hadn’t realized his mistake. 

“Please excuse me,” Zoya said, and he watched her rush out the door. She’d heard the unmistakable first letter of her name escape from his traitorous lips in front of his entire family. Nikolai’s heart pounded in his chest, his body tensing with the need to run after her. 

“Lying to your own–” 

“Enough, Vasily!” The Lantsovs and Anya exclaimed. A long awkward silence filled the room for what felt like ages. Empires were built. Castles crumbled. Decades passed. It was probably the most excruciating minute of Nikolai’s life if it was even a minute. 

“So… this was all a big misunderstanding,” Kirigin said, breaking the tension, and Nikolai could have kissed him. 

“I think some apologies are in order.” Mrs Lantsov said. 

“From all parties involved,” Mr Lantsov agreed. Nikolai turned to his mother to find a pitied expression on her face. For once he knew exactly what she meant. 

Nikolai ran out the door.

Zoya’s lungs burned but she refused to stop. She loathed the sand at her feet and the way the wind whipped her hair about, knotting the strands. Two facts circled her mind, pushing her on.

Fact one.

Nikolai was in love with her. The thought exhilarated her and made her nauseous all at once. There was no question that Nikolai Lantsov was in love with her, just as there was no question that she was in love with him. 

Fact two. 

She was just horribly and quite irredeemably humiliated in front of Nikolai’s family. Clearly, Vasily hated her. His parents already believed she wasn’t respectable enough for him. Put lying on top of that, and there was no world in which Zoya would ever be good enough for Nikolai. 

And maybe they were right.

Her throat caught, steps faltering alongside the suffocating sense of defeat that flooded her mind.

Zoya prided herself on her resolve, her constant control. But standing alone on the beach with a bruised ego and a raw heart, she felt it crack. Her lip quivered and she collapsed down in the sand among the dunes, burying her head in her hands. 

She tried to pinpoint when everything had gotten so messy. When had she become someone who didn’t mind Nikolai’s touch to someone who craved it? In the end they were both to blame. His incessant flirting which she initially took as a joke turned into something welcomed, expected even. That’s when she learned how entertaining it was to flirt back. 

Perhaps it was all started by her original proposal that fateful night. It sounded ridiculous when she thought back to it. You pretend to be mine and I’ll pretend to be yours. But no, that was much too late because she was already gone by then. Even if she hadn’t known. 

Her stomach twisted. No doubt Nikolai wasn’t far behind her. What would he say? What would she say? Sorry, I ran out on your family’s brunch after your brother accused me of cheating on you and we confessed that we went behind their backs to trick them into thinking we were dating. Also, I totally did not hear that part where you almost said you were in love with me. Anyways, let's go back to school. 

“Zoya!” a voice called. Zoya lifted her head to find Nikolai running toward her, golden hair damp from sweat and rain. She lifted her hand out as the droplets crashed onto her skin. She hadn’t noticed the rain at all. 

“Are you alright?” he asked, hazel eyes wide with concern. “I’m so sorry about Vasily. God, he’s such an asshole. And about my parents. And the Kirigins.” He sat beside her in the sand, close enough that she felt the warmth of his impromptu run radiating off of him. She fought the urge to move closer, which she found especially as the rain fell harder from the sky. He sighed deeply. “I’m… sorry about everything, really,” he said. “And then you ran off after I–” He turned to look at her. His breath was short and nervous, so unlike himself, and Zoya felt herself choke again. “You heard, didn’t you?” 

He was giving her an out. Say no and they could pretend this never happened, maybe even go back to normal. But Zoya was tired of pretending. 

“I did,” she said. 

“And?” he asked. 

“And nothing. Your family hates me.” Nikolai shook his head. 

“That doesn’t matter. Zoya,” he said softly. “Listen to me. You don’t know how many times I’ve thought this moment over and this is definitely the last way I ever wanted to tell you but I’m in love with you.” He leaned in, as if in surrender. He was impossibly close, his mouth hovering lightly over hers. He was waiting for her to close the gap, to reciprocate. Zoya shut her eyes, leaning in a fraction before– 

“I can’t,” she said pulling away. “Nikolai, you have to know how I feel. After everything, I’m sure you know. But we can’t. I can’t do this.” She got to her feet to put some distance between them. Nikolai followed. 

“Zoya, please,” he said. “Let’s just talk.”

“There’s nothing to talk about!” she said, raising her voice. Great, push him away like you always do. “Us, this thing… it’s not a good idea.” Nikolai looked like she punched him in the stomach. 

“Tell me you’re not doing this,” he said. 

“I’m not—”

“Why are you deciding against this before even giving it a chance? We’ve been doing a great job at being a fake couple so what’s the harm in making it real?” he sounded exasperated, desperate, but most of all, hurt. 

Why? It was a good question, one that she didn’t blame him for asking. The simple, ugly answer was that she was scared. There were a million ways that the delicate thing between them could break and end. She would rather cling tight to what she already had than risk her heart on something new. Was this love really new? Or had it been this way for some time, disguised under the pretense of friendship? Zoya didn’t give herself time to dwell on it. She turned her back on him. He wouldn’t see her cry.

“You can’t be afraid of losing me before you even have me,” he said, and she wondered if she was really that easy to read. He was wrong. She was terrified. Zoya walked away from Nikolai, away from the beach, holding back tears. She fished her phone out of her pocket once she was far enough and called Genya to pick her up. 

Nikolai checked his phone. It had officially been the most miserable week of his entire life, including that awful ski trip when he was younger where he broke his arm and got pneumonia. 

Zoya hadn’t answered any of his texts or calls. He’d sent countless apologies for what he said on the beach, even if he thought it was a little true. In his experience, love was always worth the risk because it was something that people did together rather than alone. Yes, it was dangerous and scary but also rewarding and hopeful. But clearly, Zoya didn’t see it that way, and that was fine. He would move on and be content with friendship, no matter how painful it was. 

There was a knock at his door. 

“David, I thought you’d be here an–” Nikolai’s voice died in his throat. The person at his door was certainly not David and his coffee. It was Zoya clutching a bouquet of flowers in her hands. 

“Can I come in?” she asked. 

“Of course,” he said. 

“Nikolai, I’m sorry,” she said, eyes shining. How he had ever thought there was a world in which he didn’t fall for her was beyond him. “The whole thing was such a mess, even before I asked you to pretend to be my boyfriend. But I kept wondering why everything was so… easy with you, so natural. And I realized that pretending to be in love with you is easy because I’m not pretending at all. hat night on the balcony… I called Genya and told her. I just couldn’t tell you. ”  She turned her head away, exhaling a shaky breath. “But I'm telling you now. I am in love with you, so much that it makes me feel weak. And that's why I just disappeared. This week without you has been horrible and its all my fault. I won’t ask you to reassure me because the truth is that I’m scared, Nikolai. It always feels so good in the beginning until something goes wrong. I don’t think I could handle it if you just became a stranger to me.” That's what she was afraid of. It happened when relationships ended. Someone you thought knew so well, fading out of your life and becoming someone different. “So if we can’t make this thing real, can we at least be friends again?” she asked, holding out the bouquet. Nikolai took it from her hands. 

“Zoya Nazyalensky, is this a speech? About love?” he asked, setting the flowers aside. He took a step toward her. 

“Maybe it is. You’re a bad influence,” she shrugged. His hand found the side of her face and traced it lightly, brushing her hair away. 

“You don’t think I’m scared too?” He asked, leaning in. Her wildflower scent was comfortably refreshing after not seeing her for so long. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Nothing really has to change. All of our pretending has just been practice for the real thing. And we’re so good at it already. You’re not taking this jump by yourself because I’m here with you, just like always.” They were so close. It reminded Nikolai of the beach right before she had run away. But she wasn’t running now. 

“Nikolai,” she breathed, before leaning in to kiss him. He never got tired of how his name sounded on her lips. He moved a hand to her lower back, closing the distance between them while the other cupped her jaw. Her lips were soft and deliberate, her tongue teasing him open. His mouth traced a line along her skin until he found the crook of her neck. His teeth grazed the spot lightly placing a kiss there, making her gasp. He moved back to her mouth again, savoring the way her hands roamed his chest, and gripped his waist. 

“So does this mean we’re dating now?” he asked after they finally pulled away. Zoya smiled at him. 

“I guess we have to go back and tell everyone that we actually are dating,” she said, carding a hand through his hair. “Who knows if they’ll believe us this time.”

“All according to my plan,” he said casually, leaning against the table beside them. 

“Oh, your plan,” she said laughing. His heart stuttered at the sound. “I think I should have asked you to be my pretend boyfriend the minute I met you.” Nikolai grinned but shook his head. 

“I wouldn’t change it. I think we’re right where we need to be,” he said before kissing her again. She froze. 

“Actually, I was supposed to meet Genya an hour ago–” she said. Nikolai jolted.

“And I was supposed to pick up coffee for David. That’s why he never showed up,” he said. “Should we break the news together, then?” he asked. 

“Together,” she agreed. 

As they walked toward the coffee shop, Zoya’s hand found his. He smiled to himself. A new dance had started between them and Nikolai wondered where it would lead.